Le subreddit français du foot: Ligue 1, Ligue 2, les Bleus mais aussi toutes les compétitions françaises et étrangères ainsi que tout ce qui touche au monde du football.
my mind can't help but drift back to this metaphor. The determinists are too deterministic to find free will. Jokes on them I guess. The Space Exploration folks are trapped in 1970s technology and thinking and complete confusion cross discipline. Nobody informed the physics geeks about the medical issues. ETC.
And there it is; the sky i fly in. The free will i clearly have claimed versus those so trapped in ideology that they are literally caged by it.
The space ships and roto habitats and assorted problems i can work and solve for real instead of chit chat on the internet pointlessly. The Autocad models i have sitting in my hard drive.
The mental simulations that drive me to generate autocad models i can only approximate but never finish.
Our solar system; waiting for us to find our wings.
I am here. Right here among you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCB_INs2E24 I have wings. I can lead you into the sky.
Into the distance a ribbon of black Stretched to the point of no turning back A flight of fancy on a windswept field Standing alone my senses reeled A fatal attraction holding me fast how Can I escape this irresistible grasp? Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies Tongue tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit I Ice is forming on the tips of my wings Unheeded warnings I thought I thought of everything No navigator to guide my way home Unladened, empty and turned to stone A soul in tension that's learning to fly Condition grounded but determined to try Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I Friction lock, set. Mixture, rich Propellers, fully forward Flaps, set, ten degrees Engine gauges… Mixture set to maximum percent, recheck Flight instruments Altimeters, check both (Garbled word) - on Navigation lights, on Strobes, on (To tower) confirm 3-8-echo ready for departure (Tower): Hello again, this is now 129. 4 (To tower): 129. 4. It's to go. (Tower): you may commence your takeoff, winds over 10 knots. (To tower) 3-8-echo Easy on the brakes. Take it easy. Its gonna roll this time. Just hand the power gradually, and it Above the planet on a wing and a prayer, My grubby halo, a vapor trail in the empty air, Across the clouds I see my shadow fly Out of the corner of my watering eye A dream unthreatened by the morning light Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night There's no sensation to compare with this Suspended animation, a state of bliss Can't keep my mind from the circling skies Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I Songwriters: Carin / Ezrin
Don Genaro stood up, stretched his arms an d back. His bones mad e a cracking sound. Then he sat down ag ain. "I was young when I first tackled my ally, " he finally said. "I remember that it was in the early afternoon. I had been in the fields since day break an d I was returning to my house. Sudde nly, from behind a bush, the ally cam e out an d blocked my way . He had been waiting for me an d was inviting me to wrestle him. I began to turn around in order to 196 leav e him alone but the thought cam e to my mind that I was strong enough to tackle him. I was a fraid though. A chill ran up my spine and my neck becam e stiff as a board. By the way , that is alway s the sign that you're ready, I mean , when your neck gets hard." He opened up his shirt an d showed me his back. He stiffened the muscles of his neck, back, an d arms. I noticed the superb qu ality of his musculature. It was as if the memory of the encounter had activated every muscle in his torso. "In such a situation, " he continued, "you must alway s close your mouth." He turned to don Juan an d said, "Isn't t hat so?" "Yes, " don Juan said calmly. "The jolt that one gets from grab bing an ally is so great that one might bite off one's tongue or knock one's teeth out. One's body must be straight an
d well
grounded, an d the feet must grab the ground." Don Genaro st ood up an d showed me the proper position: his body slightly bent at the knees, his arms han ging at his sides with the fingers curled gently. He seemed relax ed an d yet firmly set on the ground. He remained in that position for an instan t, an d when I thought he was going to sit down he suddenly lunged forward in one stupendous leap , as if he had springs attached to his heels. His movement was so sudden that I fell down on my back; but as I fell I had the clear impression that don Genaro had grab bed a man , or something which had the shap e of a man . I sat up ag ain. Don Genaro was still maintaining a tremendous tension all over his body, then he relax ed his muscles ab ruptly an d went back to where he had been sitting before an d sat down. "Carlos just saw your all y right now, " don Juan remarked casually, "but he's still weak an d fell down." "Did you?" don Genaro asked in a naive tone an d enlarged his nostrils. Don Juan assured him that I had "seen" it. Don Genaro leap ed forward ag ain with such a force that I fell on my side. He executed his jump so fast that I really could not tell how he had sprung to his feet from a sitting position in order to lunge forward. Both of them lau ghed loudly an d then don Genaro chan ged his lau ghter into a howling indistinguishab le fro m a coyote's. "Don't think that you hav e to jump as well as Genaro in order to grab your ally, " don Juan said in a cau tioning tone. "Genaro jumps so well becau se he has his ally to help him. All you hav e to do is to be firmly grounded in order to sustain the impact. You hav e to stan d just like Genaro did before he jumped, then you hav e to leap forward an d grab the ally." "He's got to kiss his medallion first, " don Genaro interjected. Don Juan , with feigned severity, said that I had no medallions. 197 "Wh at ab out his notebooks?" don Genaro insisted. "He's got to do something with his
notebooks
put them down somewhere before he jumps, or may be he'll use his notebooks to beat the ally." "I'll be dam ned!" don Juan said with seemingly genuine surprise. "I hav e ne ver thought of that. I bet it'll be the first time an ally is beaten down to the ground with notebooks." Wh en don Juan 's lau ghter an d don Genaro's coyote howlings subsided we were all in a very fine mood. "Wh at hap pened when you grab bed your ally, don Gen aro?" I asked. "It was a powerful jolt, " don Genaro said after a moment's hesitation. He seemed to hav e been putting his thoughts in order. "Never would I hav e imag ined it was going to be like that," he went on. "It was something, something, something . . . like nothing I can tell. After I grab bed it we began to spin. The ally mad e me twirl, but I didn't let go. We spun through the air with such speed an d force that I couldn't see an y more. Everything was foggy. The spinning went on, an d on, an d on. Sudden ly I felt that I was stan ding on the ground ag ain. I looked at myself. The ally had not killed me. I was in one piece. I was myself! I knew then that I had succeeded. At long last I had an ally. I jumped up an d down with delight. Wh at a feeling! Wh at a fee ling it was! "Then I looked around to find out where I was. The surroundings were unknown to me. I thought that the ally must hav e tak en me through the air an d dumped me somewhere very far from the place where we started to spin. I oriented myself. I thoug ht that my home must be towards the east, so I began to walk in that direction. It was still early. The encounter with the ally had not tak en too long. Very soon I found a trail an d then I saw a bunch of men an d women coming towards me. They were Indian s. I thought they were Mazat ec Indian s. They surrounded me an d asked me where I was going. Tm going home to Ixtlan , ' I said to them. 'Are you lost?' someone asked. 'I am , ' I said. 'Wh y?' 'Becau se Ixtlan is not that way . Ixtlan is in the opposite direction. We ourselves are going there, ' someone else said. 'Join us!' they all said. 'We hav e food!'" Don Genaro stopped talking an d looked at me as if he were waiting for me to ask a qu estion. "We ll, what hap pened?" I asked. "Did you join them?" "No. I didn't, " he said. "Becau se they were not real. I knew it right aw ay , the minute they cam e to me. There was something in their voices, in their friendliness that gav e them aw ay , especially when they asked me to join them. So I ran aw ay. They called me an d begged me to come back. Their pleas becam e hau nting, but I kept on running away from them." "Wh o were they?" I asked. "People, " don Genaro replied cuttingly. "Except that they were not real." "They were like ap paritions, " don Juan explained. "Like phan toms." 198 "Afte r walking for a while, " don Genaro went on, "I becam e more confident. I knew that Ixtlan was in the direction I was going. And then I saw two men coming down the trail towards me. They also seemed to be Mazatec Indian s. They had a donkey load ed with firew ood. They went by me an d mumbled, 'Good afternoon.' "'Good afternoon!' I said an d kept on walking. They did not pay an y attention to me an d went their way. I slowed down my gait and casually turned around to look at them. They were walking away unconcerned with me. They seemed to be real. I ran after them an d yelled, 'Wai t, wait!' "They held their donkey an d stood on either side of the an imal, as if they were protecting the load . "I am lost in these mountains, ' I said to them. 'Wh ich way is Ixtlan ?' They p ointed in the direction they were going. 'You're very far, ' one of them said. 'It is on the other side of those mountains. It'll tak e you four or five day s to get there.' Then they turned around an d kept on walking. I felt that those were real Indian s an d I begged them to let me join them. "We walked together for a while an d then one of them got his bundle of food an d offered me some. I froze on the spot. There was something terribly stran ge in the way he offered me his food. My body felt frightened, so I jumped back an d began to run aw ay. They both said that I would die in the mountains if I did not go with them an d tried to coax me to join them. Their pleas were also very hau nting, but I ran aw ay from them with all my might. "I kept on walking. I knew the n that I was on the right way to Ixtlan an d that those phan toms were trying to lure me out of my way . "I encountered eight of them; they must hav e known that my determination was unshak ab le. They stood by the road an d looked at me with plead ing eyes. Most of them did not say a word; the women am ong them, however, were more daring an d plead ed with me. Some of them even display ed food and other goods that they were supposed to be selling, like innocent merchan ts by the side of the road. I did not stop nor did I look at them. "By late afternoon I cam e to a valley that I seemed to recognize. It was somehow fam iliar. I thought I had been there before, but if that was so I was actually south of Ixtlan . I began to look for lan dmarks to properly orient myself an d co rrect my route when I saw a little Indian boy tending some goats. He was perhap s seven years old an d was dressed the way I had been when I was his ag e. In fact, he reminded me of myself tending my father's two goats. "I watched him for some time; the boy w as talking to himself, the sam e way I used to, then he would talk to his goats. From what I knew ab out tending goats he was really good at it. He was thorough an d careful. He didn't pam per his goats, but he wasn't cruel to them either. "I decided to call h im. Wh en I talked to him in a loud voice he jumped up an d ran aw ay to a ledge an d peeked at me from behind some rocks. He seemed to be read y to run for his life. I liked him. He seemed to be afraid an d yet he still found time to herd his goats out of my si ght. "I talked to him for a long time; I said that I was lost an d that I did not know my way to Ixtlan . I asked the nam e of the place where we were an d he said it was the place I had thought it was. That mad e me very hap py. I realized I was no longer lost an d pondered on 199 the power that my ally had in order to tran sport my whole body that far in less time than it tak es to bat an eyelash. "I than ked the boy an d began to walk aw ay. He casually cam e out of his hiding place an d herded his goats into an almost un noticeab le trail. The trail seemed to lead down into the valley. I called the boy an d he did not run aw ay . I walked towards him an d he jumped into the bushes when I cam e too close. I commended him on being so cau tious an d began to ask him some qu estions. ' "Wh ere does this trail lead ?' I asked. 'Down, ' he said. 'Wh ere do you live?' 'Down there.' 'Are there lots of houses down there?' 'No, just one.' 'Wh ere are the other houses?' The boy pointed towards the other side of the valley with indifference, the way boys his ag e do. Then he began to go down the trail with his goats. "Wai t, ' I said to the boy. 'I'm very tired an d hungry. Tak e me to your folks." "I hav e no folks, ' the little boy said an d that jolted me. I don't know why but his voice mad e me hesitat e. The boy, noticing my hesitation, stopped an d turned to me. 'There's nobody at my house, ' he said. 'My uncle is gone an d his wife went to the fields. There is plenty of food. Plenty. Come with me. "I almost felt sad . The boy was also a phantom. The tone of his voice an d his eag erness had betray ed him. The phan toms were out there to get me but I wasn't afraid. I was still numb from my encounter with the ally. I wan ted to get mad at the ally or at the phan toms but somehow I couldn't get an gry like I used t o, so I gav e up trying. Then I wan ted to get sad, becau se I had liked that little boy, but I couldn't, so I gav e up on that too. "Suddenly I realized that I had an ally an d that there was nothing that the phan toms could do to me. I followed the boy down th e trail. Other phan toms lurched out swiftly an d tried to mak e me trip over the precipices, but my will was stronger than they were. They must hav e sensed that, becau se they stopped pestering me. After a while they simply stood by my path; from time to time some of them would leap towards me but I stopped them with my will. And then they qu it bothering me altogether." Don Genaro remained qu iet for a long time. Don Juan looked at me. "Wh at hap pened after that, don Genaro?" I asked. "I kept on walking, " he sa id factually. It seemed that he had finished his tale an d there was nothing he wan ted to ad d. I asked him why was the fact that they offered him food a clue to their being phan toms. He did not an swer. I probed further an d asked whether it was a custom am on g Mazat ec Indian s to deny that they had an y food, or to be heav ily concerned with matters of food. He said that the tone of their voices, their eag erness to lure him out, an d the man ner in which the phan toms talked ab
out food were the clues
an d that he kne w that becau se his 201 world, an d he thinks that you also saw , but you are such a fool that you don't know it yourself. I keep on telling him that you are weird, an d that sooner or later you will see. At an y rate, in your next meeting wi th the ally, if there is a next time for you, you will hav e to wrestle with it an d tam e it. If you survive the shock, which I'm sure you will, since you're strong an d hav e been living like a warrior, you will find yourself alive in an unknown lan d. Then, a s is natural to all of us, the first thing you will wan t to do is to start on your way back to Los Angeles. But there is no way to go back to Los Angeles. Wh at you left there is lost forever. By then, of course, you will be a sorcerer, but that's no help; at a time like that what's importan t to all of us is the fact that everything we love or hate or wish for has been left behind. Yet the feelings in a man do not die or chan ge, an d the sorcerer starts on his way back home knowing that he will never reach it , knowing that no power on earth, not even his death, will deliver him to the place, the things, the people he loved. That's what Genaro told you." Don Juan 's explan ation was like a catalyst; the full impact of don Genaro's story hit me suddenly when I beg an to link the tale to my own life. "Wh at ab out the people I love?" I asked don Juan . "Wh at would hap pen to them?" "They would all be left behind, " he said. "But is there no way I could retrieve them? Could I rescue them an d tak e them with me?" "No. Your ally will spin you, alone, into unknown worlds." "But I could go back to Los Angeles, couldn't I? I could tak e the bus or a plan e an d go there. Los Angeles would still be there, wouldn't it?" "Sure, " don Juan said, lau ghing. "And so will Man teca an d Temec ula an d Tucson." "And Tecate, " don Genaro added with great seriousness. "And Piedras Negras an d Tran qu itas, " don Juan said, smiling. Don Genaro ad ded more nam es an d so did don Juan ; an d they becam e involved in enumerating a series of the most hilarious a nd unbelievab le nam es of cities an d towns. "Spinning with your ally will chan ge your idea of the world, " don Juan said. "That idea is everything; an d when that chan ges, the world itself chan ges." He reminded me that I had read a poem to him once an d wan te d me to recite it. He cued me with a few words of it an d I recalled hav ing read to him some poems of Juan Ram on Jimenez. The particular one he had in mind was entitled "El Viaje Definitivo" (The Definitive Journey). I recited it. an d I will leav e. B ut the birds will stay , singing: an d my garden will stay , with its green tree, 202 with its water well. Man y afternoons the skies will be blue an d placid, an d the bells in the belfry will chime, as they are chiming this very afternoon. The people who hav e l oved me will pass aw ay, an d the town will burst an ew every year. But my spirit will alway s wan der nostalgic in the sam e recondite corner of my flowery garden. "That is the feeling Genaro is talking about, " don Juan said. "In order to be a sorcerer a man must be passionate. A passionate man has earthly belongings an d things dear to
him
if nothing else, just the path where he walks. "Wh at Genaro told you in his story is precisely that. Genaro left his passion in Ixtlan: his home, his people, all the thing s he cared for. And now he wan ders around in his feelings; an d sometimes, as he say s, he almost reaches Ixtlan . All of us hav e that in common. For Genaro it is Ixtlan ; for you it will be Los Angeles; for me ..." I did not wan t don Juan to tell me ab out him self. He pau sed as if he had read my mind. Genaro sighed an d parap hrased the first lines of the poem. "I left. And the birds stay ed, singing." For an instan t I sensed a wav e of ag ony an d an indescribab le loneliness engulfing the three of us. I looked at do n Genaro an d I knew that, being a passionate man , he must hav e had so man y ties of the heart, so man y things he cared for an d left behind. I had the clear sensation that at that moment the power of his recollection was about to lan dslide an d that don Genar o was on the verge of weeping. I hurriedly moved my eyes aw ay . Don Genaro's passion, his supreme loneliness, mad e me cry. I looked at don Juan . He was gazing at me. "Only as a warrior can one survive the path of knowledge, " he said. "Becau se the art of a warrior is to balan ce the terror of being a man with the wonder of being a man ." I gazed at the two of them, each in turn. Their eyes were clear an d peaceful. They had summoned a wav e of overwhelming nostalgia, an d when they seemed to be on the verge of ex ploding into passionate tears, they held back the tidal wav e. For an instan t I think I saw. I saw the loneliness of man as a gigan tic wav e which had been frozen in front of me, held back by the invisible wall of a metap hor. My sad ness was so overwhelming t hat I felt euphoric. I embraced them. Don Genaro smiled an d stood up. Don Juan also stood up an d gently put his han d on my shoulder. "We are going to leav e you here, " he said. "Do what you think is proper. The ally will be waiting for you at the edge of t hat plain." He pointed to a dark valley in the distan ce. "If you don't feel that this is your time yet, don't keep your ap pointment, " he went on. "Nothing is gained by forcing the issue. If you wan t to survive you must be crystal clear an d dead ly sure of yourself."
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