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[Fantasy World Epsilon 30-10] - 4.1 The Morning After

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Keya awoke still in her seat. Brilliant light streamed in through the windows, and the idyllic greens, oranges, and blues of the landscape below resembled a bejewelled rug below the transparent floor. Keya gasped again recalling where she was. The fantasy continues.
“Morning, Goldilocks!” Jon sat cross-legged upon the circular window cradling a large bowl of porridge. He spoke between mouthfuls. “I’ll serve ya some mielie pap now-now. How d’you sleep?” He ate from a flawlessly formed glass bowl: not a single bubble or crack in its lustre. The container held a creamy white mush, perhaps like flour but with a rougher grain. It steamed succulent and buttery sweet in the cabin.
“Huh?” Her mind was not yet wholly present.
“Yeah, aeroplane seats: not ideal. Took the liberty of reclining it, removed your boots, and gave you that blanket. I considered moving you to your bed, but that’d be kinda weird. I ain’t your daddy, and here was safe enough.”
That explained some discontinuities, but she was far from trusting all her senses just yet. “Death or dream? Death or dream?” She mumbled to herself still half-conscious, her eyes drifting across the land below.
“What was that?”
“I am contemplating my reality, Master.”
“First thing in the morning? As good a time as any I s'pose. Got you presents!” He scooped another mouthful and gestured to items with his silver spoon. The man insisted it was just steel that did not rust. Whether that was more or less valuable than silver, she was unsure. Strewn on the deck between them were three bundles.
Keya fumbled with the seat belt and eventually extricated herself. She had no idea how to right the chair vertically so instead moved to an adjacent seat. Shaking herself, she tried to compose her mind. Thoughts and visions from the night before had stirred up many things within her. Even now she felt the once tranquil steam of her mind was muddled. Her thinking felt murky as if the silt had yet to resettle. Sleep had made her thoughts a degree more limpid, so she pushed on to articulate concerns she wished to air.
Opening her mouth, she stopped. The elevation was wrong. Jon looked for all the world like a child staring up at his mother, as she recounted a fireside tale. Even supplication and deference toward this man was a daily struggle! She slid from her seat into a formal kneel. At the very least his casual demeanour indicated his station if elevation could not.
“Master, there is something I must clarify. Next to your sagacity, I may seem foolish, but I suppose that hardly matters. You let me into your home, provide food, clothes, and lodging, and now this. Whatever these gifts are, I am sure they are priceless treasures that I could never hope to repay. Already, I am indebted beyond comprehension.” Stopping to form the question better, she gazed upon the miracle of flight before her eyes. “What am I to you?”
“You’re…” Shovelling another spoonful, he pensively chewed.
“This treatment you give a stranger… I am but a simple village maid. Either I am to be your indentured servant or concubine, which is it?”
“Fuuck, those are my options?”
“I am serious, Kel-sun! Debts must be paid, that is the law of the land. I am a penniless peasant. I cannot hope to repay the wealth you have bestowed upon me. These clothes and boots alone are worth a year’s wages, so I must know! What is the price?”
Master furrowed his brow; it appeared he grasped the gravity of her quandary. “I see your issue: The golden rule—reciprocity. You fear you're making a bargain you are not aware of. I get it.”
“Yes, I wish to know the full extent of the payment you will demand from me. However horrid a price, I might still pay it. The unimaginable wonders I have been privy to thus far, I—many would pay with blood, gold, and their lives just to behold a faction of it.” She found his sea-blue eyes and burrowed her stare into them. “What is the price? What is your price?”
“Jesus! It’s like nine a.m., and we’re already talking about fucking sex-slaves. You don’t let up, do you!” He broke her stare and rocked back another spoonful in his mouth. “Fine, let’s talk shop.” His expression went hard. “My world has stringent rules against slavery of any kind. We abolished it a few hundred years ago. If you wanna talk taboo, that’s very fucking taboo. All people have inalienable rights, and that definitely extends to you. Meaning our world grants each person privileges from birth that no government, kingdom, or court of law can strip them of. Are you with me so far?” It sounded impossible to believe.
“If I catch your meaning, slavery is unlawful in your land?” Keya said.
“Yeah, pretty much. So point one, you ain’t paying with your body or your life. In fact, access to clean drinking water, food, electricity, sanitation, Internet, and shelter are all human rights. I’m not treating you special. If a guest came over to stay at my house, I would give them the same. Be they kings, paupers, or prisoners.
“You have no point of reference for the world I come from so you’d probably think it unbelievable.”
She vigorously nodded.
“You see these things around you and think: ‘This is amazing. I am blessed.’ I see all the things your world lacks compared to mine and think: ‘This is tragic.’ I am not here to give you a life of comfortable servitude. I am the vanguard and emissary of the greater universe. The endgame here involves elevating your entire world, every man, woman, and child, maybe even goblin, to this!” Arms outstretched, he swept across everything around them.
“That is a foolish errand! They will knife you in your sleep and steal it before you can give it away.”
“Don’t you worry. We know our darker natures well. History has countless wars and tragedies to draw wisdom from. Frankly, we're better at being bad than you; it just doesn’t pay in the long run. Much in the same way being good all the time doesn’t pay either.” He gazed out the windows beyond her. “Now you know some of the ‘why.’ The ‘how’ will become more evident in time, or more correctly ‘if.’
“That’s where you and I come in. You see the gates to my world are sealed shut. I step through to judge the lay of the land, and if your world is deemed amenable, then the doors are opened, and we establish treaties and trade. If not…” He made a thumbs down gesture, spoon still in hand, “condemnation. Your world is sealed off, maybe for a long time, maybe forever.
“So what does all of this mean to you? Well, your riches are meaningless to us, there are entire worlds we could mine bare of gold, silver and a myriad of other metals you’ve never even heard of. We have whole planets dedicated to agriculture and husbandry. Your kingdoms are trivial, their armies insignificant. We want what is irreplaceable, and what do you think that is?”
“If you speak truly, then I cannot even begin to imagine.” This new side to Master was terrifying; there was an abyssal depth in his eyes. Such a massive empire beggared belief.
“How much do you think a single map of your planet would go for?” Twirling a finger.
“Kingdoms would…” And then the pieces started to fall in place.
“Ja, a king’s ransom, right? Who do you suppose helped me put our current map into perspective only yesterday?”
“A minuscule contribution!”
“An irreplaceable one. I could’ve mapped for months before I knew where I was. Next, how much do you think a bestiary of local fauna and flora would go for? How about knowledge of dragons? What about culture and history? Data, knowledge, and understanding: non-fungible resources.” He enumerated on his fingers.
“Anyone could have given you this information!”
“No, not just anyone. What we need, what I needed, was someone. And that someone is you! The one who chose the red pill, the one who survived goblins, direwolves and the death of their only family. Someone who stepped forth through a strange gateway with a strange man. We have a saying perhaps you know it: ‘Knowledge is power,’ and as such it’s valuable.
“The truth is Keya you don’t owe me anything, and you never will. Save for the burdens and debts you choose; you are free. If anything I may owe you. But if you care about debt…” He levelled his eyes at her “…you owe it to this world so that other young boys and girls might eventually see the wonders you have. That is your burden should you choose to shoulder it, or cast it aside.”
He looked down at his bowl. “Damn it, the porridge is cold, one sec I’ll go microwave it.”
She stopped him before he made it through the silver ring. “Do you swear upon the Gods this is true?”
“I don’t believe in any gods, so take it for what it’s worth, but yes I swear it’s the truth. On my honour, I swear you will be adequately compensated for your work. You are a diver like me now; we are equal. Oh, and have this…” He walked back, pulling a small polished card from his pocket. “You are officially recognised as a citizen of the 37-72 branch and are granted the formal title of Diver in Training.”
She saw the same little painting of her in one corner and various numbers and words on the rest of the polished card, including her full name. She was born on the full moon of Yen in late spring, so the birth date was indiscernable, but she had the measure of it. “You would grant me citizenship already!”
“Of course, but this also serves as proof. Look, here’s mine.” He withdrew his card of identic artifice, more worn with time. “Your rights under the multiverse constitution are assured.”
Keya slowly found her seat as Jon attended to his errand. She beheld the card and the promise it stood for, contemplating all their deliberations. Perhaps a lie, but it was a weak one. Something easy to test, and hadn’t Master told never to trust completely. To always doubt and take knowledge as provisional.
So she would do just that. If she were a kept woman rather than his equal, and free, then he would be unwilling to grant specific requests. There was unlikely to be any decadence beyond his grasp, and she was, after all, an unsophisticated village girl. Such demands would tell her little of the man.
No, what he would not do, or would not risk is take her to where he might be powerless, and she could leave of her own accord. With that in mind, she formed a plan.
On his return, she felt far greater certitude and began her gambit. He resumed his cross-legged seating on the floor, the ‘gifts’ still untouched.
“So, can I start prezzie time now?”
“Master, I have a request?” She knelt before him again.
“Shoot.” He shovelled more porridge.
“I assume from your tone, that is an affirmative?”
Nonchalant nods returned.
“I would implore you to take me to my homeland and the city of Elgelica. It is across the Elgen Channel; I assume in this flying ship such a voyage is easily chartable?”
“Awesome, a destination. We’ve been idling around since lift-off, with you asleep n’ all. You identified it on the map yesterday, right? Elves in London! That’ll be a sight. Evy, set our course for place-marker Elgelica, full speed ahead.”
“Destination set to Elgelica. ETA 3 hours 20 minutes” Came the familiar impassive female voice from the ship.
“You were waiting for me to set our bearing? Wait? Did the elemental just say three hours!”
“Uh, which question you want answered first?” Jon was scrapping his bowl clean, the clink of his silverware rang about the cabin.
“That is unthinkably fast, even on horseback!”
“It will be instant when we have a rift set up there. Still, I get your drift. Flight is super convenient, even slow flight like this.”
And he has the gall to call it slow! The barrels attached to the outside made more noise. They pointed lengthwise rather than up compared to the previous eve. Outside, the hull was also unmistakably pale blue, instead of black or white. Jon continued. “No mountains, rivers or forests in the way, you can just make a bee-line,” he paused. “Ya know, I never understood that phrase, bees don’t fly straight.”
“Why is the ship a different colour every time I look? Gods, am I crazed?”
“Hmm, about that, we’re 6k up but still pretty easy to see given our size. So, the ship’s surface is covered with a thin film of e-ink. It does black, white, and blue plus every shade in between. If you’re looking you might find us, but the sky is big and who looks up much anyway. Tinted windows take care of cabin light at night. As I said, this thing mitigates a lot of risks. Worth every gram of gold I paid. Well, it’s almost paid.”
Keya asked. “So to be clear, I am in an invisible, flying ship, moving as the crow flies, faster than the wind, toward Elgelica. Furthermore, we will reach my ancestral home before lunch?” Master looked at his wrist, glinting with a bejewelled bracelet she had not seen before.
“A little after lunch.” Well, it appeared her tests would proceed more rapidly than anticipated. No matter, if this ship indeed flew and she wasn’t confounded by magic then stepping foot in Elgelica would put many uncertainties to rest.
“Very well, Master, show me what gifts you’ve brought.”
“We’ve been over this ‘Master’ thing, haven’t we?” He placed his bowl on a seat and mercifully found one himself.
“I shall call you what I like in private company, ‘Master’.” This too was a test.
“Savage!” Rang Lee’s voice in the ship.
“Lee, you keep this quiet you hear me!”
“Oh, my lips are sealed ‘Master’!” His cackle bellowed, before abruptly being cut short.
“You see. This is why we can’t have nice things. Your loudspeaker privileges are revoked!”
“Shall that be a problem, Master?” Jon focused back on her.
“Fuck, fine, call me what you like. But if we’re incognito planet-side, then I’ll be depending on your subtlety. Is that fair?”
“Quite.”
“Okie dokie,” He rubbed his hands together “Prezzie time!” Reaching for the first package, it, like all the bundles, was wrapped in a thin translucent sack. A fabric she recalled first seeing in the larder, one of the multitudinous things she had never seen before meeting him. Doubtless, there would be endless more. It shimmered and crinkled in her hand, both flimsy to handle but hard to tear.
“Open it,” said Master.
She found the opening and pulled the bundle out. They were multiple sets of identical grey and black clothing to be sure, but the shape of two rounded cups on each set left little to the imagination.
“Oh, Master, it appears a concubine was not far off the mark!” Did he wish she dance for him in these? Though she had to admit they did look as though they could be quite comfortable.
“Please for the love of all that is good and holy do not use ‘master’ and ‘concubine’ in the same goddamn sentence. They’re sports bras with matching underwear. Evy got your size with the medical body scans. Had I known you’d pull this sex-slave crap with me; I might’ve let you go rough rider for a while longer.” He glanced down and shook his head. “To be clear, you wear this UNDER your clothes, and if you decide to dance half-naked outside your room, it’s totally on you. Also please give me fair warning so I can GTFO.”
“Is that an invitation?” The gift was somewhat puzzling and did not strengthen his case, and yet he had proceeded regardless.
“Consent works both ways, Ms Ces. You ask for my permission, and I’ll ask for yours. But walk round base in your birthday suit, and I’m not shielding my eyes. FYI aside from the ears, there’s nothing I haven’t seen. Gesturing with the spoon. Plus, I’ll bet you dance like a turkey.”
“A turkey?” Keya asked.
“A big chicken.”
“You horrible man!”
“Uh-uh, just try them on, show me nothing, and thank me later. Honestly, it’s like no good deed goes unpunished with you. Not another peep and tell me when you want to order more; then I’ll know I’ve won.” Keya smiled mischievously but refrained from teasing him more. Clothes were clothes after all, and with all the fabrics she had felt thus far she was quite curious.
“Well then thank you, Master, for your… thoughtful gift. What else do you have for me?”
“Thank fuck that’s over, here.” He unceremoniously pulled an item from a bigger sack. Though the colours and materials were unique, the shape was unmistakable. She eagerly stood to receive it.
“This is a bow!”
“Yeah, a recurve bow to be precise. Give it a pull; let’s see if the draw strength is alright.” Pulling the string, she found it to be a little stiff, but she would grow into it.
“Remarkable Master! It is just right I think, and the workmanship, as with all your wares, is sublime.” She had seen many things new, but having a tool she understood from his world truly helped her grasp the height of their technical prowess. Her old longbow quailed compared to this. It’s smooth contours perfectly matched her grip, and an unmistakable notch belied where the arrow would rest. A smile of rising excitement revealed her desire to test it as soon as she could.
“You can give it a spin on the test range later, along with…” He pulled another thing from the large sack. “…this.” She felt her eyes widen and almost dropped the first prize. Doubtless, the order was intentional. Had he not shown the recurve bow first, she might not have realised what it was.
“It is also a bow, yes?”
“Very good, it’s a modern bow from my world. Recurves you might see here and there in your world; of course, our material science and fabrication is more advanced. But this is a compound bow; your world has likely never seen anything like it!”
Before her eyes was a matte black frame of exquisite intricacy. It floated in her hands lighter than any wood, with crisscrossing beams and cross-woven gut in ways that were not readily apparent. She felt herself almost unconsciously clasping the handle nestled in her left palm. The other bow was lain on a nearby seat practically forgotten. Pulling the string, it strained at first before slackening substantially at an extremely long full draw. She found herself appreciating the completely unobstructed path and placement for the arrow; the shaft would not wobble and flex in flight. Her eyes naturally sighted through a circular instrument with oddly luminous pins, sophisticated yet elegant.
Any elf would intuitively understand the perfected craft of this bow. In the Fair Folk’s hands, with their eyes, this artefact would make every shot flawless. She almost forgot she was still drawing back. At a whim, she extended her earth sense through it. More intricately bound and fastened parts than even sight could not manage, revealed themselves to her.
“This… is art,” came her breathless response.
“That good, huh?”
“You don’t understand, Master. To elves, a gifted bow is a right of passage, usually from elder to child—a propitious and sacred event. Ralfen and I, however, shared no such illusions about our lot. My parents gone, no heirlooms or artisans were awaiting to gift me my first hunting bow. We bought it from a peddler passing by the village. It cost many pelts, and I cherished its gnarled and twisted form like a newborn child. You have given me not one but two priceless artefact bows from your world!
“There are once again, no words, no words to express my gratitude. Thank you, thank you, a thousand ‘thank yous’.” With the Compound bow at her side, she half knelt. Supplicated before him in a chamber above the world, she thanked him again in Elven. “I hope to one day earn the honour you have bestowed upon me this hour. I make this pledge to the gods, in this sacred ship above the clouds. Master Jonathan Kelly of the Honourable Order of the Divers, I Keya Ces of no house nor family pledge my allegiance to you. May honour bind us, and may I be your bow.” She did not look up, and she dared not move. This covenant was both a test for him and an avowal of heartfelt gratitude from her. The pledge required his honour after all.
Moments passed by and then Jon audibly exhaled. “Okay Keya, if that’s what you want then I accept your pledge."
She raised her head and smiled.
"I like the honour part it sounds reciprocal. Bound by honour then. You are my bow, and I am your…,” patting the spoon on his forehead, “gonna have to figure that one out. Anyway, it’s not like its legally binding or anything; you're still free to do as you choose.”
“Thank you, Master, I will bear that in mind.” She stood smiling. “Now, you mentioned a shooting range…”
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Comments & Calculations

This scene was difficult for me. I leave it to the reader to decide how well it was handled. Obviously, there is a clash of ethics here, Kay is from a world prior to universal suffrage. The duties and ethics between commoners and nobility conflict with Jon's modern liberal values. Lords do not simply endow commoners with riches in exchange for nothing. Subjects serve their lords, and in return, their needs are provided for.
Reeling from techo-culture shock, Kay is attempting to classify what kind of subject she is, in terms she understands. The master-apprentice artisan dynamic would root the relationship in purely transactional bounds. Given the wealth disparity, what debt she must be incurring naturally concerns her.
After Jon's flat denial of such an arrangement, Kay is left reaching for anything familiar upon which root her experience. Enter the bows, a cultural icon of her people, containing archetypal significance. They even give her a technological benchmark. Lords do not arm commoners, so squire or apprentice knight it is. As such, she takes an oath, framing her and his duties in terms she understands for the moment. Citizenship was also a big hint for her, but cards can be faked, getting a weapon cements the deal—the right to bear compound arms and all that.
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The Truth About Igor Štimac ( Part 1 )

PART 2 COMING TOMORROW
A lot of Indian football fans have seen my negative comments about Igor Štimac and asked me to elaborate. I understand the doubts some of you have, when a new manager comes in, it is only natural to be excited about the coaching change, new playing style and so on. Besides, if there is one thing Štimac is good at, it is lying to the hopeful football fans and getting them excited for no reason. It always fails in the end, no exceptions. Trust me, us Croatians have seen it all during the years he was managing our national team and three clubs in Croatian First Division. This guy has no clue about coaching. In fact, it is doubtful that Igor Štimac wants to be a football coach in the first place. Just look at all the things he has done since finishing his playing career ( only thing he was ever succesful in ):
disclaimer: all the links in this thread are in Croatian, use Google translate for a rough translation. If people are particulary interested in certain link just tell me in the comments and I will clarify it for you guys
Why the hell am I talking about all this, you might wonder ? Well, ask yourself this...Does this sound like a man that is focused on his coaching career to you ? A man that is focused on keeping up with modern football tactics, trends, bettering himself and progressing his knowledge ? Or a football Kardashian ? You have all heard of other, more prominent Croatian coaches such as our current manager Zlatko Dalić, former manager Slaven Bilić, former assistant manager Robert Prosinečki and so on...I just listed nine things, off the top of my head, that Štimac was doing which are completely unrelated to football coaching. I dare you to find just one other thing like that, about these other men . You cannot, I guarantee you that. Why ? Because being a football manager is a serious profession, just like being a player. You have to constantly educate and improve yourself, you have little to no time for dumb stunts and other functions Štimac seems to love so much. You cannot aspire to be the president of FA one day, then a manager the next day.
India has serious football potential, being a country with the largest population in the world. However, if you are going to realize this potential, you have to find a good coach, not a moron like Štimac who is even worse than your previous manager Constantine, quite a mediocre manager himself ( found that out by reading Indian fans comments about him ). Now it is time for a detailed analysis of Igor Štimacs coaching career, every managerial spot he has ever held. If you are a hardcore, passionate Indian football fan, you might want to stop reading here, because it gets real ugly.
HNK HAJDUK SPLIT (2005)
This is what Hajduk fans, one of which I am myself, think about Igor Štimac .This is deeper than his coaching career at our club, but I wont bother you with that. In this thread, we will just focus on the 2005 season. You have to realize, Igor Štimac was a former legendary player for Hajduk .Since 2001, he was the Director of Football in the club, but the way he was acting, Štimac was basically the owner. With 8 games to go, Štimac decided to sack the coach Blaz Sliskovic, another club legend ,and appoint himself as the manager. At the time, Hajduk was first in the league with 4 point advantage over the nearest rival. Why the hell would anyone fire a coach with great results like that ? Well, so Štimac could "win" a title by himself ( he claims this, seriously ) nevermind that Slišković coached 24 games and Štimac only 8. But just wait, here is the best part.
Look at the league table. Read Hajduks results over the last 8 games. Mind you, Hajduk is one of the 2 biggest clubs in Croatia ( the other is Dinamo Zagreb ), so these results are an absolute disgrace when you know that context. That reminds me, during his interview with AIFF, didnt Igor say his success rate was low because he always managed underdog teams ...LOL. Managing Hajduk in Croatia is like managing Barca in Spain. Be honest Igor, AIFF hired you because you demanded the lowest salary. But hey, some money is better than nothing when you are broke and having tax problems like our hero here. AIFF needs a cheap coach, Igor needs some quick cash, Indian football fans need...who gives a crap what those suckers need, says AIFF, hiring a dumbass like Štimac. Anyway lets look at those glorious results:
Now look at the results of the other title contender, Inter Zaprešić, the team Hajduk was 4 points ahead of when Slišković was the coach ( Dinamo Zagreb was bad that year, they were not title contenders ):
Now I am far from a maths expert, but even I know: 15>13
You read that right, Igor Štimac actually won LESS points that the second placed team, but "won" the title since the guy whom he fired built a 4 point advantage. Mind you, this was when Hajduk had proven stars like Croatian national Niko Kranjčar in the team, whereas Inter lost their best player, the nowadays world-famous Luka Modrić, when Dinamo recalled him from loan during the winter break. Realistically, a good coach would have increased that 4 point advantage, Idiotic Igor almost lost it all ( he probably would have, if the league lasted 2-3 more games ). Oh and under the former coach Hajduk also reached the domestic cup final, but Štimac fucked that up too . After "winning" the title, Štimac was back to his familiar Director of Football position, then he installed his old coach Ćiro Blazević as the new Hajduk coach, which is a move Hajduk fans hated then and now. Oh and he named Blazević the new coach during the TV show right after the crucial, season ending-game between Štimac-led Hajduk and Blazević-led Varteks which Hajduk won by 6:0. Can you say match fixing ? Later that year, a team assembled by director Štimac and coach Blazević suffered the worst loss in Hajduk history .Thanks a lot, Igor. Jackass...
HNK CIBALIA VINKOVCI (2006)
Igor left Hajduk in 2006 after some big-shot politicians told him to fuck off, because the club was knee-deep in all kinds of shady shit under his rule, but we wont really get into that here. He rebounded by taking control of Cibalija , a weak team fighting to avoid relegation. Let us look at the league table. Štimac took control on April 4th. which means:
For an underdog team, this is actually not bad. Štimac did manage to save them from relegation, although there were rumors about refeeres favoring Cibalija in the last 7 games, because of Štimacs connections to Croatian underworld. These are only rumors, I do not have any sources for those claims, but sadly my Croatia was / is a deeply corrupted country and the same thing applies to our sports, so me personally, I believe those rumors. Anyway, this is probably the best coaching job of Štimacs career, which says a lot about his coaching skill. Notice the extremely small sample size yet again ( 8 games in Hajduk, 7 games in Cibalija ). Almost like this dude does not want to be a serious, full-time football manager or something...
HNK ZAGREB (2009)
After 3 years of not coaching at all, because hey thats what 40 year olds serious about coaching do all the time, Igor decided to try his hand at this football manager thing yet again . His new club was HNK Zagreb ( not Dinamo Zagreb, the powerful team from that town), again a small team fighting to avoid relegation to the Second Divison. As always, Igor was full of bullshit quotes and fake promises after taking over a team. Whats that thing he said the other day ? Indian players are like Maradona in training but weak when games start ? Yeah, sure...Anyway, he promised to save the club from relegation and promote young Croatian players in the squad. I do not know about you guys, but his first signing did not look like a young Croatian man to me... . What followed was a similar poor season from Igor with lots of losses and lots of shameless lies to the fans, as always-they got smoked in that game . To be fair, Igor did manage to save Zagreb from relegation (yay, 2 in a row, Cibalija and now this!) but these do not look like the results of a man worthy of leading international teams :
Igor left swiftly as soon as the season ended, claiming he was onto bigger and better things . Unfortunately for every single Croatian football fan, that meant he had his sights on our national team...
PART 2 COMING TOMORROW: CROATIAN NATIONAL TEAM WITH ŠTIMAC - HIS SINGLE BIGGEST FAIL EVER + DISASTERS IN IRAN AND QATAR
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EVE Beginner's Guide/FAQ: Pre-WrestleQueendom II Edition

What is EVE?

Pro Wrestling: EVE, (often just called “EVE”), is an all-female wrestling company based out of England, with a feminist, punk rock/riot grrl aesthetic and mission statement. It features many—one could even argue most—of the best independent women’s wrestlers in the world, strong long term booking, and lots of curse words.

What is EVE Wrestling like?

EVE showcases a pretty wide variety of styles, with everything from WWE “Main Event” style workers to Joshi and lucha legends to vaudevillian comedy workers. Most matches are 10-20 minutes long. Singles, tag team, and triple threat/fatal fourway matches are their most common formats, though they have a few shows per year that get pretty weird with it. Most shows run between 90 to 150 minutes and feature 6 to 8 matches. EVE’s product features more comedy matches than some promotions (usually about one or two per show), but in general all their comedy workers are strong technical workers under the gimmick, and even their comedy matches often start out silly and get more serious as they go. The diversity of styles and high average quality of their workers usually make for fun, fast-paced shows.
As far as storytelling goes, they’re great at long-form stories that are compelling yet simple enough to pick up on without having to backtrack much (the Wrestle Friends angle is probably the best example), and they’re much more likely to give the mic to a heel than a face. Everything is extremely character-driven. The booking as a whole is creative, logical, and generally excellent.

What are the rules for EVE matches?

How often do EVE shows run?

EVE usually runs 1-2 shows per month out of their home base, the Resistance Gallery in London, England. In November that number jumps up to 4 thanks to their annual SHE-1 tournament.

Who wrestles for EVE?

EVE features a mix of UK and international talent. The international talent comes from the US, Mexico, Japan, and Europe. Big non-UK names such as Manami Toyota, Aja Kong, Meiko Satomura, Mari Apache, Mercedes Martinez, Emi Sakura, and more have appeared for EVE. Several current WWE talents (Toni Storm, Paige, Nikki Cross) used to work for EVE and almost all of NXT UK’s women’s division currently does double-duty with EVE, though how sustainable that status quo is remains to be scene.
A breakdown of the EVE roster:
The Current Upper Card: These are the women currently hanging around the title picture/most likely to be matched up with visiting legends:
The Serious Midcard: These are regulars who win more than they lose, but aren’t in the main event as often as the bunch listed above.
The Comedy Midcard: What it says on the tin; these are midcarders with primarily comedic gimmicks, though that doesn’t mean they aren’t serious threats.
The Lower Midcard: They lose more than they win, but they’re generally treated as credible.
Stardom: Coming over from Japan for both WrestleQueendom and the two shows leading up to it, these women are some of the biggest stars of the biggest joshi promotion in Japan, World Wonder Ring Stardom.
Foreign Stars: Around a little less than the rest of the roster, these women are nonetheless treated as main-event caliber threats and often headline the shows they’re on.
Other people who matter: Significant people not covered above.
• There are a bunch of other workers who’ve either made little impact or haven’t shown up in long enough that I didn’t cover them here. Apologies to that whole bunch, but this thing is gonna be long as it is.

What's the deal with the NXT UK stuff?

This is the million dollar question right now. A huge chunk of EVE’s roster is signed in some capacity to NXT UK (Rhea Ripley is the only female NXT UK roster member not to appear on EVE at some point). Until recently this hadn’t been much of an issue; Toni Storm was the only person we’ve seen have to stop wrestling in EVE over it (and only when she was about to win the NXT UK title), and Jinny returned on EVE’s most recent show despite being a fringe contender for Toni’s belt on NXT UK at the time. However, Kay Lee Ray and Viper are now also leaving EVE after WrestleQueendom, and it's unclear how much longer the other NXT-signed members of the roster (Nina, Jinny, Candy, Martina, Kelly, Alpha Female, and Xia Brookside) will be allowed to keep performing on EVE events. We do know there are different tiers of NXT UK deals that allow different amounts of non-WWE involvement, but we don’t know who’s on what tier or deal, nor do we know how WWE classifies EVE (i.e., whether it’s considered an affiliate, a competitor, or something else), so we can’t safely draw any big conclusions. Only WWE and EVE know the whole story, unfortunately, so we just kinda have to cross our fingers and hope for the best.

Who are the current EVE Champions?

Are there any annual tournaments or special events?

Yes, a few:

Are there EVE power rankings?

Not officially, but if you needed some:
That doesn't cover everyone, but it gives you a general idea. These tiers are not rigid, and a given worker can generally lose to anyone one tier below them or conceivably beat anyone one tier above them.

How can I watch EVE?

A couple of their shows are currently available on YouTube (including last year’s WrestleQueendom), but for most of their stuff, EVE has their own online streaming service, EVE OnDemand. It costs $9.99 a month. For that you get:

I'm new to EVE, where should I start?

Depends on how much catching up you want to do. I personally started at the beginning of 2017 and worked my way up from there. Forced to offer guidance, I’d recommend either starting with the 2017 SHE-1 tournament, WrestleQueendom, or the 2018 SHE-1 tournament, pending how much catching up you want to do, as those three shows especially make an effort to introduce viewers to many of the major players and storylines. Worth noting is that both general production quality and average match quality improve pretty dramatically over the course of 2018, so earlier stuff may be a little lo-fi.
Also, because I’m mostly ripping of Xalazi’s format and they did this for Stardom:

10 Matches to Watch on EVE OnDemand

These aren’t necessarily the best 10 matches (there’d be a lot more Kay Lee Ray and Meiko Satomura on that list), as I prioritized diversity of workers and styles over sheer snowflake count, but should give you a good idea of both the roster EVE sports and the variety it offers. That said, some of these may spoil long-run storylines so if you’re planning to start at a point before any of them, use your own discretion when deciding what’s safe to skip to. In no particular order:

How can I find out what's coming up?

Following EVE on Twitter or Facebook is your best bet.

I don’t want play catch-up, what are the big storylines right now?

Heading into WrestleQueendom, I’d say these are the biggest things going on:

I have other questions!

Well I might have other answers. I’m only familiar with the last two years or so of the product but I’ll do my best. (You could also contact EVE directly, if it’s a more legitimate question).

You got something wrong/left someone out!

Ok, tell me about it. Happy to update/I could honestly use the help.

Bottom line me: Why should I watch EVE?

Is there any reason I shouldn’t? I’d say their strong suits are long-term booking, commitment to character, and versatility. The match quality is very high, especially in the last year or so, but they’re not a pure work-rate promotion in the same sense that some Joshi promotions might be. That said, Kay Lee Ray and Meiko Satomura are two of the best ten wrestlers on the planet and at least one of them is on nearly every show (usually Kay Lee). The diversity of styles is also super cool, as you get everything from strong style Joshi work to wacky comedy to Western style sports entertainment matches.
I also think EVE’s feminist mission and politics are pretty admirable, and I dig their punk rock and counter-culture aesthetics… which reminds me, their intermissions are usually burlesque or drag shows. In at least two cases, Ewok-themed burlesque drag shows.
As for downsides, if forced to pick nits I’d point out that they’re a lower budget production so there’s not some of the polish you might be accustomed to elsewhere (i.e., no video packages recapping a feud before a big match). Commentary can be a little dicey as no one involved is a trained broadcaster, but I still prefer theirs to, say, WWE’s. If you’re watching from far enough back, the match quality is less reliable, and I personally didn’t think much of Sammii Jayne’s title reign, though mileage may vary there.
Also, if you’re into forty-five minute “epics,” EVE probably isn’t the place for you. Very few of their matches go much over 20, 25 minutes and most are probably closer to 10. For me personally, though, I prefer matches that are a bit more all-killer, no-filler, and EVE serves that pretty nicely.
Overall, it’s an exceedingly well-booked promotion that puts on at least a couple great matches per show with a very cool vibe. If you’re into women’s wrestling, you should probably be into EVE.
Support your local girl gang!
submitted by Monessi to SquaredCircle [link] [comments]

Titanite Demons and the Carthus Sandworm. A Theoretical Explanation. AKA: How I Learned to Stop Worrying (About Solaire) and Love the Worm.

This is a theory I've been trying to piece together with the help of some of these other sandworm threads, but they're mostly all archived so I thought I'd pose my own theory here. I've been here for a real long time, maybe 5 hours trying to fact check if theres any gaping holes i didnt address I'm sorry. like namely why the worm doenst simply kill the demon king? besides not being able to get past the fog wall i dont know.
First and foremost. I doubt that worm has anything to do with Solaire. Maybe at best you can say his corpse was down there and so was his soul, some day later the sandworm absorbs the the soul and gets Solaire powers. but that's way too simple, let me rock your brainspace.
TL;DR Enter darksouls 1, anor londo, gwyns gone for good. you're the great chest ahead sungodess. You and your husbando leave anor londo because things are getting weird around the house, and on his way out he steals very titanite slab that wasnt nailed down cos +10 weapons are for winners. He turns these stolen goods into +10 golems, and embues them with lightning calls them demons because the irony doesnt escape him, and sends them out to screw up the plans laid by your dear old daddy. You dont like your sisterbrother, or that spider with the D cups, and their collective pyromania, but you hear its best to fight fire with fire, and these desert guys are kicking the hell out of everyone. So you're about to employ them, but oh crap its the abyss. Thinking quick, you steal some more shit off some priests corpses, and give it to him cause he needs the abyssal equivalent of pool floaties. He's thankful so he says he'll return his end of the bargain. Then he doesnt. So you make a giant ass worm to help his people hold up their agreement. also Ctrl+f carthus and take that many shots. good luck.
Lets start in dark souls 1, with weird broken statues, called 'Titanite "Demons"'.
"DEMONS"?
Demon Titanite description reads:
When the nameless blacksmith deity passed, from several Slabs, great beasts arose. The power of titanite remains within them, and they still roam Lordran today.
As the name suggests they're demons, BUT they didn't come from Izalith directly like the other demons. In short, some nameless blacksmith god was sitting on ng+7 levels of slabs that amalgamated these into things when the blacksmith passed(note: not when the flame of chaos was created like the other demons. Unless those events are similar, and I'm not prepared to jump into that one yet.). The chaos flame could not create life, only twist the ones that already existed. It's almost suggested these guys aren't actual demons. OG wiki theory says here they are the same ilk from the flame of chaos but that's contradictory. It cant create life, but it sure will animate things that dont live, into a state of just short of almost living. yeah, whatever you say.. Does anyone have any evidence of chaos doing similar stuff to other things? on the top of my head I cant think of any.
Titanite demons also cast lightning spear. Why would a demon be casting a miracle anyway?
BLACKSMITH GOD?
Titanite Slab description reads:
Legendary Slabs are the heirlooms of a nameless blacksmith deity, who forged the weapons of other Gods. Weapons forged with this slab become rare legendary weapons.
What can we take away from this? The blacksmith was outright described as nameless. that means he either never had one, or it's faded to obscurity since his death. Which then and there rules out every blacksmith in the game who is alive, including the giant nameless-lightning-infusing blacksmith in anor londo. It almost could mean this blacksmith is unimportant. but I think theres something more we can dig up here. It says he forged weapons of the other gods. maybe we can figure out which gods.
Gods, alright lets rattle a few names off.
A giant blacksmith, who says "Talk, 'tis no good. No-one home. Everyone gone." Which is to say he remembers a time when there were people living in anor londo. Just before or directly after many other gods leaving is when the people started to as well.
So to recap, there's Gywndoylin in anor londo and Gwynevere+Co. in [undisclosed location] because of the schism in anor londo, after they realize daddy ain't coming home to help pick up the pieces. And up until this point you think, so how does Flame god Flann start making these guys so we can start to get to the point? Well it says right there when he died they get created. but wait. it doesnt say die, does it? it says "pass" both times. and what does pass mean? well yes death, but once again too simple. Pass: verb: move or cause to move in a specified direction. "he passed through towns and villages" So basically what im getting at is the group that left anor londo moved away, their blacksmith took just about the cities worth of titanite with them. Then he constructed all of these titanite demons. But they're only really demons in name, they're more like sapient golems. Resembling a man more closely than any demon we see.
BUT WHY?
Where do we find these creatures? We find 4 in the game and only one respawns.
WHERE DOES CARTHUS FIT IN
Carthus is an old kingdom. And a kingdom that went forth conquering and to conquer, as it were. It's never said where or when carthus came from, the only mention is sometime long ago. I've seen the question asked "why is carthus/wolnir even in dark souls 3?". I think that worm dropping lightning spear is a really subtle nod as to why they're here. The gods left anor londo, sometime later hear of a kingdom that's ravaged every other kingdom they've come across. Every single one they've decimated with an army of extremely strong warriopyromancers. but not like normal pyromancers of the great swamp, they didnt associate with quelaag. The carthus pyromancy tome says that it was a type of pyromancy learned in isolation from the others. Wolnir, their king was not devout and he didnt care for gods. But as the abyss eventually swallowed him and his kingdom, decided to make a bargain with one nameless god. A god that would eventually comfort him with a holy sword, that uses a a miracle from dark souls 1, and bracelets that keep him somewhat safe from the abyss, stripped from clerics. The clerics they were possibly taken from were Reah and her compatriots, who were eventually killed for trying to keep kindling the fire. She sells the miracle that wolnirs holy sword uses.
The titanite demons are long gone, Gwyns age has ended, but the fire is still lit. Desperate to stop this ever present threat, Gwynevere and Flann and perhaps others that left anor londo, make a deal with wolnir. His job was to stop anyone that could try to reignite the first flame. They seen what happened to irithyll and anor londo, the abyss doesn't do it's job the soul of cinder is still tending to the flames. The ending outcome would be worse than a world without fire, a world consumed in the gnawing abyss. Gwyndolin himherself was consumed, or implied to be devoured by aldrich, and we assume nito was aswell. leaving only the last old demon king and eventually his princes as heirs to the flame of chaos, a bastardization of the flame but still a representation of the thing they yearn to snuff out. Since the bed of chaos was destroyed the demons seemed to take up a monarchy. The big bulky demons of old are a dying breed but their kin, the ghru are rampart. Even on the surface well above the demon ruins.
WHAT UP BIG WURM this is where you got me.
The worm is just that. I'm gonna try to explain where it came from and why it attacked carthus but idk.(i never expect an answer from miyazaki, dudes a huge troll and he knows we're asking about it. He once told us "I pick the pendant," dont trust this man. lol) Apparently eating an awful lot of carthus's manpower before it got cast down to the smouldering lake, with the help of lightning bug pellets, as per their description
The grave wardens of Carthus used these to repel a great sand worm. The worm tumbled to the catacombs and proceeded to dominate its new home in the Smoldering Lake.
Our next clues are very vague. but it tells us the lightning was already imbued in the worm before it attacked carthus. So i think wolnir was a bad boy and didnt fulfill his promise. Flann, or whoever else, somehow super buffed this guy with whatever turned pure titanite into those "demons" and sent it to nudge carthus towards the demons direction once again.
OFF THE DEEP END i already wrote this so imma let it stand as its a testimate to my tiredness.
They dont call it the carthus sandworm in the description for yellow bug pellets either. I think that's also telling us something. Wolnir as a chalice isn't doing much. Everything associated with carthus is called "Carthus X" save for the yellow bug pellets for simplicity's sake all the other bug pellets are color coded. Which leads me to believe when they name a Carthus Curved Sword they're not referencing the land it was made in but the people it was made by/for. That would be to say if we applied the same rules, then a "Lothric knight Sword" would be 'a knight's sword, made in the land of lothric'. Instead of 'a sword made for a knight of lothric'. I'm sorry if this seems pedantic but the difference fairly big. This is assuming carthus isn't a place, it's more referencing a people. specifically here, the people ate by the worm in a way might still act as some really weird worm body community trying to fulfil their task given to them by their high king, given to him by a god. with all the lightning powers that would entail.
Demon prince soul gives you a pyromancy/curved sword called demon's scar. maybe there's a connection, description said it was chaos made though
submitted by jad103 to darksouls3 [link] [comments]

Pro Wrestling: EVE Beginner's Guide/FAQ

What is EVE?

Pro Wrestling: EVE, (often just called “EVE”), is an all-female wrestling company based out of England, with a feminist, punk rock/riot grrl aesthetic and mission statement. It features many—one could even argue most—of the best independent women’s wrestlers in the world, strong long term booking, and lots of curse words.

What is EVE Wrestling like?

EVE showcases a pretty wide variety of styles, with everything from WWE “Main Event” style workers to Joshi and lucha legends to vaudevillian comedy workers. Most matches are 10-20 minutes long. Singles, tag team, and triple threat/fatal fourway matches are their most common formats, though they have a few shows per year that get pretty weird with it. Most shows run between 90 to 150 minutes and feature 6 to 8 matches. EVE’s product features more comedy matches than some promotions (usually about one or two per show), but in general all their comedy workers are strong technical workers under the gimmick, and even their comedy matches often start out silly and get more serious as they go. The diversity of styles and high average quality of their workers usually make for fun, fast-paced shows.
As far as storytelling goes, they’re great at long-form stories that are compelling yet simple enough to pick up on without having to backtrack much (the Wrestle Friends angle is probably the best example), and they’re much more likely to give the mic to a heel than a face. Everything is extremely character-driven. The booking as a whole is creative, logical, and generally excellent.

What are the rules for EVE matches?

How often do EVE shows run?

EVE usually runs 1-2 shows per month out of their home base, the Resistance Gallery in London, England. In November that number jumps up to 4 thanks to their annual SHE-1 tournament.

Who wrestles for EVE?

EVE features a mix of UK and international talent. The international talent comes from the US, Mexico, Japan, and Europe. Big non-UK names such as Manami Toyota, Aja Kong, Meiko Satomura, Mari Apache, Mercedes Martinez, Emi Sakura, and more have appeared for EVE. Several current WWE talents (Toni Storm, Paige, Nikki Cross) used to work for EVE and almost all of NXT UK’s women’s division currently does double-duty with EVE, though how sustainable that status quo is remains to be scene.
A breakdown of the EVE roster:
The Current Upper Card: These are the women currently hanging around the title picture/most likely to be matched up with visiting legends:
The Serious Midcard: These are regulars who win more than they lose, but aren’t in the main event as often as the bunch listed above.
The Comedy Midcard: What it says on the tin; these are midcarders with primarily comedic gimmicks, though that doesn’t mean they aren’t serious threats.
The Lower Midcard: They lose more than they win, but they’re generally treated as credible. • Livvii Grace- High-energy babyface who can really sell a beating.
Foreign Stars: Around a little less than the rest of the roster, these women are nonetheless treated as main-event caliber threats and often headline the shows they’re on.
Other people who matter: Significant people not covered above.
• There are a bunch of other workers who’ve either made little impact or haven’t shown up in long enough that I didn’t cover them here. Apologies to that whole bunch, but this thing is gonna be long as it is.

What's the deal with the NXT UK stuff?

This is the million dollar question right now. A huge chunk of EVE’s roster is signed in some capacity to NXT UK, including Kay Lee Ray, Viper, Nina Samuels, Jinny, Alpha Female, Kasey, and depending on which reports you believe, also Charlie Morgan and Millie McKenzie. So far this hasn’t been much of an issue; Toni Storm is the only person we’ve seen have to stop wrestling in EVE over it (and only when she was about to win the NXT title), and Jinny returned on EVE’s most recent show despite currently being a fringe contender for Toni’s belt on NXT UK. We do know there are different tiers of NXT UK deals that allow different amounts of non-WWE involvement, but we don’t know who’s on what tier or deal, nor do we know how WWE classifies EVE (i.e., whether it’s considered an affiliate, a competitor, or something else), so we can’t safely draw any big conclusions. Only WWE and EVE know the whole story, unfortunately, so we just kinda have to cross our fingers and hope for the best.

Who are the current EVE Champions?

Are there any annual tournaments or special events?

Yes, a few:

Are there EVE power rankings?

Not officially, but if you needed some:
That doesn't cover everyone, but it gives you a general idea. These tiers are not rigid, and a given worker can generally lose to anyone one tier below them or conceivably beat anyone one tier above them.

How can I watch EVE?

A couple of their shows are currently available on YouTube (including last year’s WrestleQueendom), but for most of their stuff, EVE has their own online streaming service, EVE OnDemand. It costs $9.99 a month. For that you get:

I'm new to EVE, where should I start?

Depends on how much catching up you want to do. I personally started at the beginning of 2017 and worked my way up from there. Forced to offer guidance, I’d recommend either starting with the 2017 SHE-1 tournament, WrestleQueendom, or the 2018 SHE-1 tournament, pending how much catching up you want to do, as those three shows especially make an effort to introduce viewers to many of the major players and storylines. Worth noting is that both general production quality and average match quality improve pretty dramatically over the course of 2018, so earlier stuff may be a little lo-fi.
Also, because I’m mostly ripping of Xalazi’s format and they did this for Stardom:

10 Matches to Watch on EVE OnDemand

These aren’t necessarily the best 10 matches (there’d be a lot more Kay Lee Ray and Meiko Satomura on that list), as I prioritized diversity of workers and styles over sheer snowflake count, but should give you a good idea of both the roster EVE sports and the variety it offers. That said, some of these may spoil long-run storylines so if you’re planning to start at a point before any of them, use your own discretion when deciding what’s safe to skip to. In no particular order:

How can I find out what's coming up?

Following EVE on [Twitter[(https://twitter.com/ProWrestlingEVE) or Facebook is your best bet.

I don’t want play catch-up, what are the big storylines right now?

Heading into WrestleQueendom, I’d say these are the biggest things going on:

I have other questions!

Well I might have other answers. I’m only familiar with the last two years or so of the product but I’ll do my best. (You could also contact EVE directly, if it’s a more legitimate question).

You got something wrong/left someone out!

Ok, tell me about it. Happy to update/I could honestly use the help.

Bottom line me: Why should I watch EVE?

Is there any reason I shouldn’t? I’d say their strong suits are long-term booking, commitment to character, and versatility. The match quality is very high, especially in the last year or so, but they’re not a pure work-rate promotion in the same sense that some Joshi promotions might be. That said, Kay Lee Ray and Meiko Satomura are two of the best ten wrestlers on the planet and at least one of them is on nearly every show (usually Kay Lee). The diversity of styles is also super cool, as you get everything from strong style Joshi work to wacky comedy to Western style sports entertainment matches.
I also think EVE’s feminist mission and politics are pretty admirable, and I dig their punk rock and counter-culture aesthetics… which reminds me, their intermissions are usually burlesque or drag shows. In at least two cases, Ewok-themed burlesque drag shows.
As for downsides, if forced to pick nits I’d point out that they’re a lower budget production so there’s not some of the polish you might be accustomed to elsewhere (i.e., no video packages recapping a feud before a big match). Commentary can be a little dicey as no one involved is a trained broadcaster, but I still prefer theirs to, say, WWE’s. If you’re watching from far enough back, the match quality is less reliable, and I personally didn’t think much of Sammii Jayne’s title reign, though mileage may vary there.
Also, if you’re into forty-five minute “epics,” EVE probably isn’t the place for you. Very few of their matches go much over 20, 25 minutes and most are probably closer to 10. For me personally, though, I prefer matches that are a bit more all-killer, no-filler, and EVE serves that pretty nicely.
Overall, it’s an exceedingly well-booked promotion that puts on at least a couple great matches per show with a very cool vibe. If you’re into women’s wrestling, you should probably be into EVE.
Support your local girl gang!
submitted by Monessi to QueensoftheRing [link] [comments]

Blind Reaction to Steven Universe Episodes 64-65

Episodes 1-2 Episodes 3-4 Episodes 5-6 Episodes 7-8 Episodes 9-10 Episodes 11-12 Episodes 13-14 Episodes 15-16 Episodes 17-18 Episodes 19-20 Episodes 21-22 Episodes 23-24 Episodes 25-26 Episodes 27-28 Episodes 29-30 Episodes 31-32 Episodes 33-34 Episodes 35-36 Episodes 37-38 Episodes 39-40 Episodes 41-42 Episodes 43-44 Episodes 45-46 Episodes 47-48 Episodes 49-50 Episodes 51-52 Episodes 53-54 Episodes 55-56 Episodes 57+misc Episodes 58-59 Episodes 60-61 Episodes 62-63
Alright, guys, we’re back with another reaction. Now, I know that a lot of people disagreed with my opinions on Sardonyx, and I feel like there might have been some miscommunication, so I’m going to spell out my current opinion on her and then move on.
Sardonyx is a bully. She used emotional manipulation to hurt Amethyst and make herself seem better. That said, Pearl and Garnet are not bullies. They’re both unaware of how they’re hurting Amethyst. Pearl is blinded by the sheer joy she felt being Sardonyx, and Garnet most likely didn’t realize that the words she directed towards Sugilite were hurting Amethyst instead. Sardonyx is just like any other person in that she can change, so if something happens that I think will change her character, or if we see her again and she’s different, my opinion on her will change.
I’m really surprised at how many people seemed upset by this interpretation. I don’t think I’ve had this negative a backlash on anything I’ve said, well…ever. I’ve responded to literally hundreds of comments about Sardonyx, which seems so strange to me because it was such a small part of my post, and I kind of feel like it took away the sense of friendly discussion in the comments. A lot of it was my fault, though. I think I just got tired of talking about Sardonyx, and started to get irritable, so I’m sorry if I came off strong on the subject. I think I’m about done talking about Sardonyx for now, so I’m sorry to tell you that I won’t be talking about her unless something new comes up.
Now that I’ve got that out of the way, let’s get into the episodes. You guys know the deal; keep spoiler free and keep the hype low.

Episode 64- Keystone Motel

Steven, Greg, and Garnet go on a road trip.
[Editor’s note from the future: These episode descriptions get more and more vague every time. What the hell is this crap?]
Written and Storyboarded by Raven M. Molisee, Paul Villeco and Rebecca Sugar
Maybe you're better off with her
I think she's better for you
I forgot how great it felt to be us
Guess I got carried away
I had to use you to make me feel strong
But I don't care about that now
I see a tower built out of my mistakes
And it all comes crashing down
Is there something I can do
Is there something I can do
Is there something I can do
Can I make it up to you?
How I feel so far with this Stevenbomb.
Oh, he’s talking about when he turned into an Akira cat monster. Gotcha.

Closing Thoughts-

This was a good episode. It was really nice to see Ruby and Sapphire again. It’s nice to see these characters, although I really don’t think we’ll be seeing much of them. I’d say that we’ll get to see them as a treat, but I can’t imagine many scenarios where we’d see Garnet unfused in a happy situation. Still, they’ve both got wonderful energy, and seeing them fight on their second appearance certainly wasn’t expected. Seeing Pearl try to make Garnet appreciate her was pretty sad. Actually, most of this episode was. There was just this growing sense of disappointment in the characters throughout this entire episode that really made me feel terrible. Not that that’s a bad thing, of course. The music was really lovely in this episode, and I enjoyed it a ton. Hopefully, we start to get some closure into this situation in the next few episodes. Onto the next one!

Episode 65- Onion Friend

Steven and Amethyst visit the strange world of Onion's house; Amethyst catches up with her old friend Vidalia.
Written and Storyboarded by Lamar Abrams and Katie Mitroff

Closing Thoughts-

This was an interesting little episode. It seemed like we were going to learn more about Onion, but he remains an engima to us. No, we spent this episode exploring an old relationship Amethyst has with Vidalia, which is quite interesting. Of ourse Amethyst would be the one to make friends with a human! Hearing her talk about Garnet and Pearl was quite interesting, though. I really enjoy how much they’re impacting everyone around them. It gives the situation a lot of weight. I’m also glad that we’ve 3 episodes now without a resolution. This is a real issues that’s going to take time to solve, and so letting us experience that alongside the cast is a great choice. There wasn’t much going on in terms of animation or music, but the episode didn’t really need anything special to do its job, and it did it quite well. My current episode standings are-

Top Ten Episodes

  1. Alone Together
  2. Rose’s Scabbard
  3. We Need to Talk
  4. Keeping it Together
  5. Sworn to the Sword
  6. On the Run
  7. Lion 3: Straight to Video
  8. Winter Forecast
  9. Cry For Help
  10. Coach Steven
10. Laser Light Cannon
Next up, my vocal tracks-

Top Five Vocal Tracks-

  1. Do it for her
  2. Stronger Than You
  3. On the Run
  4. Strong in the real way
  5. Let yourself be wherever you are
Finally, my BGM’s-

Top Ten BGM's

  1. I’m Still Here
  2. Theme from an Endless Romance
  3. Glitch City
  4. Be Cool at the Nightclub
  5. Lapis' Tower
  6. Night Drive
  7. Twilight Run
  8. Alone Together
  9. The Cave
  10. The Hill/Rose’s Fountain
I'm planning on going back and listening to all of the BGM's again, since I've been a little lax here, so you'll probably see some changes in this list over the next few posts.
Thanks for reading, guys! As usual, keep spoiler free and keep the hype low. Finally, a question-
Until Next Time!
submitted by elecathes to stevenuniverse [link] [comments]

[overly long OC] a lizard's look ahead at: potential QB decisions

There are only a few weeks left in the season, with a potentially awesome playoff field looming after that. Still, like a lizard or a jealous woman, NFL fans need to keep their eyes on multiple things at once.
With that in mind, I wanted to look ahead at a few future plotlines lurking this offseason. Among them: some potential big decisions about starting quarterbacks that may potentially be on the rocks.
The NFL salary cap is a strange voodoo that's hard to fully understand, so I recommend you trust sites like spotrac or overthecap to do proper research. But in the meantime, here are my measly two cents on each.
Baltimore Ravens: Joe Flacco, 33 years old
stats this year: 61.2% completion, 6.50 yards per attempt, 84.2 QB rating
the dilemma
There was never a question about whether Lamar Jackson will replace Joe Flacco one day -- the only issue is when?
When the Ravens drafted Jackson, there was a semblance of a plan in place. Joe Flacco has multiple years left on his contract, but that massive deal has a potential "out" in 2020, wherein the team would only be on the hook for $8M in dead cap. So in theory, Flacco could start in 2018, and for some parts of 2019, before giving way to Jackson full-time in 2020.
However, that plan may have changed. Flacco's injury opened the door for Jackson to sneak in and flash his skills (good and bad.) If Joe Flacco returns to 100% health, is he getting his job back from the kid? Of course, a lot of that may depend on how the season unfolds for the Ravens.
If the Ravens want to fully embrace Jackson and cut Flacco, that's possible, but costly. From what I understand, it would cost them about $16M in dead cap. They can also try to finagle a trade for him. Flacco's age (at 33) isn't a huge problem in an NFL where old quarterbacks can thrive. He's either an average or below-average starter depending on the eye of the beholder, but some team (like Jacksonville?) may certainly be able to talk themselves into him as an upgrade. I imagine his trade value would be minimal given his contract and mediocre play; maybe a R3 pick or so. For the Ravens, it would be less about the return and more about opening up a clear transition of power to Jackson.
the verdict
I have my doubts about Jackson as a long-term starter; to me, those running quarterbacks tend to provide a quick spark and then produce diminishing returns as the league figures them out and proceeds to smash the living hell out of them. Still, it's clear that the Ravens feel like he's going to be their long-term starter, so we have to view this decision through that lens.
Even if the Ravens want Jackson as the clear starter for 2019, that doesn't necessarily mean they need to cut Flacco. In fact, it may be worthwhile to keep him around as an (expensive) backup as the team determines whether Jackson can be productive and can stay healthy for an entire season.
Given all those factors, I would a) try to trade Flacco if there's any strong offer. If not, I would keep him through 2019 as a safety net. If Jackson does well next year, then you can feel much better about cutting Flacco in 2020. Naturally, Flacco would bristle about the idea of returning as a backup, but the Ravens can frame this as a pure "competition" for the job in 2019 (with Jackson being their preferred winner.) If the Ravens believe that Robert Griffin III can capably fill that role (as safety net), then the move away from Flacco becomes easier.
Cincinnati Bengals: Andy Dalton, 31 years old
stats this year: 61.9% completion, 7.03 yards per attempt, 89.6 QB rating
the dilemma
Personally, I had high hopes for this Cincinnati Bengals team. With some improvements to their horrid offensive line, they had enough pieces for a potential playoff push. And after a 4-1 start, I started to believe in my own hype. Sadly, that 4-1 has become 5-7, with worsening results every day. The offensive line is still poor. The defense has deteriorated faster than in recent memory, becoming a total sieve in a matter of months.
Given all that, there's an argument to make for a complete and total rebuild. Andy Dalton and A.J. Green -- both 31 -- have taken this team as far as they can go, and now they need to rebuild from scratch.
That rebuild will most likely include a new coach, but should it include a new QB as well?
Statistically, Dalton is performing about what you'd expect: around "average" for starting quarterbacks these days. He's under contract for two more seasons, at a salary ($16-17M) that's about "average" as well.
You can look at that one of two ways. Either that means he's at a fair value, and should be retained. Alternatively, you can make the case that Dalton is "trade-able" as a result. If Jay Gruden wants to reunite with Dalton, the Bengals may be able to make that work. Other teams (like Jacksonville, again) may also view Dalton as an upgrade themselves. Presuming Dalton will be easily back to 100% by Week 1 next year, his market could be around a R2 pick.
the verdict
I suspect that the Bengals could trade Andy Dalton if they wanted to, but should they? I don't see the urgency here. Dalton is fine. He's not the problem. The team has bigger fish to fry -- that is, adding more offensive line talent and faster linebackers for their defense.
Moreover, the team doesn't have an easy means of replacing him. At one time, there was talk about giving A.J. McCarron a shot, but he's long gone. None of the other QBs on the roster (Jeff Driskel, Tom Savage, or practice squad Connor Cook) represent credible placeholders either. The team can debate drafting a new developmental QB, but it wouldn't be my priority. And Dalton wouldn't be my scapegoat.
Denver Broncos: Case Keenum, 30 years old
stats this year: 61.8% completion, 6.93 yards per attempt, 84.3 QB rating
the dilemma
Vance Joseph and the Denver Broncos have flashed some success at times, but there's no escaping the fact that Case Keenum is more of a placeholder than permanent solution. He's a below-average starter that a team will always attempt to upgrade on.
Earlier in the season, there was talk about cutting Keenum after 2019, but that's starting to die down for a few reasons. Backup Chad Kelly bombed out with another bone-headed decision, which limits the team's options moving forward. And as the Broncos tally off wins, they're getting farther and farther away from a top 5 pick and a potential franchise QB.
Moreover, there's the financial issue at play. Keenum is still owed another year and another $18M. Cutting him would leave $10M in dead cap. And make no mistake, cutting him would be the only way out of this particular deal. It’s hard to imagine another team trading anything of value for Keenum.
the verdict
Cutting Case Keenum would result in some dead cap, but that's not always the right way to think about this decision. Effectively, that's a sunk cost either way. The real decision is: would the team want to bring back Keenum for a 1 year, $8M (18 salary - 10 dead cap) deal? I suspect so. As a bridge QB, that's solid value.
The Broncos can still draft a QB, or sign a better developmental QB, but treat Keenum as the nominal starter for 2019.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Blake Bortles, 26 years old
stats this year: 60.4% completion, 6.97 yards per attempt, 81.9 QB rating
the dilemma
The Jacksonville Jaguars have finally thrown their hands up and admitted defeat with Blake Bortles. He's actually performed better this season in those three categories listed than his career average, but it's an entirely different year and an entirely different set of expectations. Bortles, at age 26, can't stagnate like this and merit a starting job.
So how does the removal of this wart manifest? The Jags already gave Bortles a "three-year" extension last offseason, but that's misleading. There's language in that contract that limits the Jags' liability. Only $6.5M is guaranteed, which also includes offset language. I'm not going to pretend like I can understand all the nuance there, but the point is: the Jags can cut Blake Bortles and move on if they so desire.
the verdict
Bye, Blake. There's not much of a "dilemma" or debate here other than deciding who should be the next man up. Chances are, it will not be current starter Cody Kessler either.
At this moment, the Jaguars are slated for a top 10 pick in the NFL Draft. More importantly, that's a better slot than other QB-needy teams like the Giants or Broncos. The Jags are well within position to either take the top QB on the board, or slide up a few spots to secure him (if necessary.)
This may not a QB-rich class, but there are some legitimate options at the top. Both Oregon QB Justin Herbert and Ohio State QB Dwayne Haskins have a lot of natural talent. Both need refinement (and may stay in school with that in mind), but will be worth examining closely if they declare. If the Jags fall in love with one of them (or Duke's Daniel Jones or whoever else), they need to strike fast. They've been loyal to Bortles to a fault in the past, but this may be their best chance to call a mulligan and land a new franchise talent.
Miami Dolphins: Ryan Tannehill, 30 years old
stats this year: 67.0% completion, 8.01 yards per attempt, 105.7 QB rating (8 games)
the dilemma
Among all these quarterbacks, Ryan Tannehill may be the hardest to pin down and evaluate. If you look at the raw stats and the box scores, he's taken his play to an entirely new level and is an above-average starter. Miami fans will also defend him as a good QB, and we need to trust them to some degree because they watch every snap.
However, Tannehill's QBR (which everyone around here hates, but does factor in sacks and situational play) rates him at 47.3, which would be one of the worst starters in the NFL. You can certainly make a case that his talent has not translated to winning football on a consistent basis. Moreover, he continues to have some injury issues that will not go away as he enters his 30s.
When you start to question moving off Tannehill, you also have to consider the cost. He's technically under contract in 2019 and 2020 for around $20M a season. However, if they cut him prior to June 1, they may only get stuck with $13M in dead cap. The upshot is: it would be costly to dump him, but not impossible.
the verdict
If I ran the Miami Dolphins, I would not be satisfied with Ryan Tannehill as my franchise QB. That said, would I be able to do any better? That really is the key question to ask.
This year's free agent class is limited, and highlighted by players like Teddy Bridgewater (who can become a FA) and Nick Foles. However, neither of those strikes me as clear upgrades over Tannehill; that sounds like a lateral move at best.
Given that, I may wait to figure out the Dolphins' draft position here. They're likely to be in the 10-20 range again, which is a hard place to land a franchise talent. They did debate moving up in the last draft (allegedly for Josh Rosen) and can debate the same again.
If Adam Gase falls in love with a rookie QB, then I'd get aggressive and make that move. Try to trade Ryan Tannehill (if possible) and jump up in the draft and snag that player. It's costly in terms of draft capital, but it's a decision that neither Houston (with Deshaun Watson) or Kansas City (with Patrick Mahomes) regret now. And remember, neither Watson nor Mahomes were considered sure things in the draft. They fell some, and made it possible for those teams to leap up and snag them. If the apple of Gase’s eye falls from the tree, the team needs to grab their basket and catch him.
If the team doesn't see a sure-fire stud, then they need to hedge their bets. Maybe wait until R2 or R3 to snag a potential starting QB, but keep Tannehill as the starter until he's outplayed and forced out of the job.
New York Giants: Eli Manning, 37 years old
stats this year: 67.7% completion, 7.56 yards per attempt, 95.8 QB rating
the dilemma
Although Eli Manning is 37 (and turning 38 in December) we may not be able to use that as a death sentence for QBs any more in the day and age of Tom Brady and Drew Brees. The problem though is that – unlike those two -- Manning appeared to be in a significant decline over the course of several seasons now.
On the surface level, that trend has reversed. Manning has improved by leaps and bounds from last season, jolting up from 6.07 yards per attempt up to an impressive 7.56, and boosted his completion percentage by over 6 full points (61.6 to 67.7). It's fair to think he can be even better next year as the team gets more familiar with Pat Shurmur's offense and the line (hopefully) improves.
If you're a pessimist, you'd point to the fact that Eli Manning's QBR (again, which factors in game flow) lists him at a decidedly below-average 48.8, a similar number to last year. He’s getting more easy completions and checkdowns in this offense, but he’s not a decidedly different QB.
Looking forward, Eli Manning is only under contract for one more year in 2019 for a reasonable number. That allows the Giants several options. If the team wanted to cut him and move on, he'd only cost $6M in dead cap. If they can find a trade partner (like his old buddy Tom Coughlin in Jacksonville), his contract wouldn't be a problem either.
the verdict
A lot of this decision depends on what's happening behind the scenes. If Eli Manning appreciates his new lifeblood with Pat Shurmur, he can absolutely return in 2019 and act as a bridge for a future QB. If he feels like his body has had enough punishment and his hand has enough rings, then he can retire with his head held high. In that case, the Giants may look to Shurmur’s BFF Sam Bradford as a possible placeholder replacement.
Whether it's Manning or Bradford as the bridge, the Giants do need to find that long-term solution eventually (presuming they haven't fallen in love with Kyle Lauletta as that.) Personally, I thought the Giants' decision to bypass a QB last year in favor of Saquon Barkley at # 2 was a fair one. Barkley was a transcendent talent, and the remaining QBs weren't as sure things as some had been preaching. That said, those who argued for a QB can point to this year as justification: it's a lot easier to find your future QB with the # 2 pick than it will be in the 5-10 range in a weaker class. There's a legitimate chance that the Giants don't like their options at QB this year, and roll back the Eli+Lauletta combo for 2019. Either way, Eli Manning will likely return to the team in some fashion or another and hold the fort until a new general is ready for a promotion.
Oakland Raiders: Derek Carr, 27 years old
stats this year: 69.5% completion, 7.53 yards per attempt, 97.2 QB rating
the dilemma
In terms of his national reputation, Derek Carr has fallen off a cliff from the heights of his MVP-candidacy in 2017. In terms of his actual play on the field, it's hard to make that same argument. In fact, his stats this year are well above his career numbers. Still, there are bubbling doubts about whether he is the type of QB that you should build around. To add to talent, coach Jon Gruden has a reputation for having a "wandering eye" at the QB position, often getting frustrated and looking for something better and newer.
If the team does want to turn the chapter, they should have ample opportunity to do that. Derek Carr is locked up to a long-term deal that pays him $20M a year, but the team can cut him prior to March with minimal dead cap issues ($7.5 from what I understand.) That said, "cutting" him would be unlikely. Even at that salary, there should be takers for a 27-year-old starting QB. I don't know if that means a R1 pick, necessarily, but R2 isn't out of the question at all.
Moreover, the Raiders have every opportunity to draft a QB this year (if they wanted to.) They're going to have their own top 5 pick, as long as two others via the Amari Cooper and Khalil Mack trades. In a sense, they own this draft. There's no team out there that can out-bid them for a QB if they want to make a push for one.
the verdict
In my mind, the Derek Carr dilemma is an extreme version of Cincinnati with Andy Dalton. And in both cases, my instinct is the same: the quarterback is NOT the biggest problem.
Oakland's defense was atrocious in 2017, and they responded to that by trading away their best player. On offense, they trusted an old batch of playmakers that were most likely not going to succeed for all 16 games. They also trusted an OL coach, Tom Cable, who may be a sleeper agent on the payroll for defensive linemen across the NFL.
Sure, the Raiders have a boatload of draft capital, but I wouldn't use that to nab a QB. Instead, I'd utilize that to take advantage of a draft class rich in defensive line talent. The Raiders can add 2-3 pass rushers, and try to put together the type of team that can be a winner even if their QB is not the MVP candidate we hoped he may turn into.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Jameis Winston, 24 years old
stats this year: 64.8% completion, 7.98 yards per attempt, 88.1 QB rating (8 games)
the dilemma
Earlier this season, when Ryan Fitzpatrick was lighting the league on fire and leading Tampa Bay to surprise wins, it appeared that the Bucs may be ready to move on from Jameis Winston.
That's looking further and further away in hindsight. Fitzmagic ran out, and Winston has performed fairly steady since taking over the job. In fact, all those numbers would represent a step up from his career averages. This isn't a matter of empty stats either; he's actually performed better in QBR (76.1) than he has in terms of basic stats. The argument for keeping Winston also extends further. He's still only 24 years old, which is only a year older than Baker Mayfield.
Of course, that argument (that Winston is an appealing asset) can go both ways. Among all the QBs mentioned, Winston would have the highest trade value on the board. He's young, he's productive (stats wise), and he has a # 1 pick pedigree. His contract (1 year, $20M remaining) wouldn't scare teams away either. In fact, they may want to lock him up with an extension after a trade. All in all, I suspect he would have R1 value on the open market. In this case, the Bucs wouldn't be dumping their QB; they'd be trying to cash in before the asset expired.
the verdict
By all accounts, Jameis Winston still has a lot of growing up to do. And the Tampa Bay franchise may know that better than most, as they've had a look behind the curtains for multiple years now. If they think that Winston has severe issues (or is likely to get in legal trouble again), they can justify a trade.
Barring that...? It's hard to sign off on a shakeup. Winston may not be your ideal franchise QB, but you don't always get your pick of the litter; franchise QBs don't grow on trees. The Bucs don't necessarily have to commit to Winston yet (with an extension), but should at least keep him in tow for 2019 and buy themselves another year to decide.
Washington Redskins: Alex Smith, 34 years old
stats this year: 62.5% completion, 6.65 yards per attempt, 85.7 QB rating
the dilemma
What's the opposite of a "feel good" story? A feel shitty story? That would describe Alex Smith's run in Washington after the quarterback suffered a brutal injury (and apparently infections after) that can potentially derail his career.
From Smith's perspective, I'm glad he signed a long-term deal before this happened. He's gotten a lot of crap over the course of his career, but he earned that big contract. He's a hard-working, high-IQ kid who worked his way from an awful rookie to good starter. I'm glad that Smith and his family are set for life, no matter what happens with his rehab.
From the 'Skins perspective...? It's as close to a nightmare scenario as you can imagine. They took a gamble by signing the 34-year-old Smith to a long-term deal that extends all the way through 2022, based partly on the fact that he's been durable so far. As a result, they poured in a lot of money and a lot of guaranteed money to boot. They may be on the hook for as much as $50M in dead money if they cut ties to Alex Smith now.
Again, I'm not an expert in terms of the salary cap nuance, but as far as I understand it, there's not much they can do to change that. If Alex Smith's injury is a career-ender and he has no interest in returning to the league, there may be a way to rewrite the deal to protect the 'Skins on the back-end. But for Smith, 34, the idea of calling it a career without any chance of a return may be far-fetched.
the verdict
Again, there's not much the Redskins can actually do in this case. Most likely, they're going to have to bite the bullet and keep Alex Smith on the roster, even if he's likely to start 2019 on the IR. Their hope, possibly, is that he'd be able to return to full strength in 2020. Modern medicine (and wink-wink "medicine") can help a lot.
In the meantime, the 'Skins may need to figure out a short-term fix, as well as an insurance policy in the event that Smith never returns. That should mean a draft pick at QB, in some fashion or another. Jay Gruden has proven to be a good developer of young QBs in the past, so he may be able to find a gem even if it's not in the top 10 or even R1. Andy Dalton was selected in R2. Kirk Cousins (drafted by the Shanahans, but broke out under Gruden) was selected in R4. It doesn't take phenomenal physical talent to run his offense; you just need a heady and accurate QB.
Of course, the Redskins can't count on a rookie being ready to go from day one. They're going to need someone to start in 2019. The Alex Smith situation leaves them somewhat cash-strapped, but the fact that they're an appealing destination for QBs helps. Among the likely free agents who will want a starting job include: Nick Foles (PHI), Tyrod Taylor (CLE), A.J. McCarron (OAK), Sam Bradford (ARI), etc. These players may take a team-friendly contract, in hopes of sparking their careers. I wouldn’t rule out their own Colt McCoy as a placeholder either. Sadly, the moral of the story here may be: lowered expectations.
TL;DR
QBs that will likely stay put (barring a trade): Andy Dalton (CIN), Derek Carr (OAK), Jameis Winston (TB), Eli Manning (NYG)
QBs that may stay (depending on team options): Ryan Tannehill (MIA), Joe Flacco (BAL), Case Keenum (DEN), and Alex Smith (WAS) depending on health
QBs that will likely get the boot: Blake Bortles (JAX)
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