We all dislike or even hate our rivals to some degree. But what about clubs and NTs we dislike for different reasons? It could be anything. From losing a particular match to them, to not liking their fans, to not liking their players and manager, etc. Football is a sport of passion, which means there's a lot of love and hate equally thrown around.
You can be honest. Even if a lot of people are likely gonna downvote you or disagree with you. Just like some people might mention your own club or NT.
So yeah guys, if you wanna vent about how much you dislike Portugal because "they're divers and Ronaldo is a vain cunt" here's your chance! Don't hold back!
In my case:
Manchester United: Never liked this club. I've always found Beckham overrated and annoying. He's mostly popular and became a top 5 most famous footballer ever 99% due to a lot of girls and young women finding him handsome. And after Beckham left they got Ronaldo, who's also annoying. And I've also I've never liked the way Man Utd under Ferguson won a lot of games in injury time and/or out of sheer luck. Who else wins the CL like the way they did against Bayern?! That's borderline Porto-style pact with the devil type of win. I guess that's why they're called the red devils...
Plus, I don't like how a lot of non-Europeans buy into the "Man Utd being the greatest club in the world" propaganda. Props to United for marketing their club all over the world before everyone else was doing, but that doesn't mean I have to like you too and believe your propaganda. Man Utd at its best never impressed me as much as Milan, Barça, Bayern or Real Madrid at their best. Thank you Barcelona for beating them in the 2009 and 2011 finals.
Celtic: First of all, you bear the same colours and pattern as Sporting. That's a bad sign already. And they tend to like you guys a lot for that reason too. Second, you knocked us out once in a fucking coin toss back in the 1970s. And whenever we both end up in the same CL group you always finish ahead of us. You even beat fucking Barcelona at Celtic Park in 2012 in a borderline miraculous fashion. The fuck?!
Zenit: Something about this club is just unlikable. I can't put my finger on what it is. Having that twat AVB, the dickhead Hulk and the hooligan Bruno Alves didn't make them more likeable either. Plus, in both times Benfica faced Zenit in the Last 16 of the CL they underestimated us. In 2015/2016 one of their players even said "I bet Benfica cried when they realised they were gonna face us". Well guess what? We knocked them out twice. So joke's on you, Zenit.
I did like 2008 Zenit, though. That UEFA Cup run of theirs was kinda cool at the time.
Honorable mention:
Real Madrid in the last decade or so: I don't like the media circus this club has become. I've always respected Real Madrid for its historical close relationship with Benfica. Santiago Bernabéu was a good friend of ours, for example. And Di Stefano was Eusébio's hero and Real Madrid homaged Eusébio when he passed away. So I wouldn't say I dislike the club itself, but more like what it became under Florentino. Nothing to do with its success. The club has been the most successful European club ever since I remember. I still have my Figo 10 Real Madrid shirt.
And ofc, RM fans will boo even the greatest player on Earth if he happens to have a less good game. That's not even having high standards. That's just being crazy. Chill out, guys. You win so much and yet you seem rather unhappy fans. Explain that to me, please O_o. Barcelona and Bayern also win a lot of shit and their fans seem a lot happier.
As for National teams...
Brazil: Their fans are unbearably arrogant on social media. And they think they're gonna win every World Cup and don't realise that they don't have players like Pelé, Ronaldinho, Ronaldo and Rivaldo anymore. In 2018, once Germany were out, Brazil's media was saying things like "this World Cup is gonna be a walkover for Brazil!" Brazil is also the favourite NT of glory hunters who don't know football and just wanna pick a winning side.
Also, it annoys me a bit when people from non-Portuguese speaking countries assume I have Brazil as a back up team in case Portugal gets eliminated. Why should I feel obliged to support them? I don't see people asking or assuming the English or Aussies support USA or vice-versa or asking or assuming people from Spain want Mexico, Argentina, Colombia, Chile, Uruguay, etc. to do well in the WC either.
USA: Every time a World Cup approaches, a TON of Americans who think "soccer is for poor people and wusses" suddenly act like they care about the sport and act like annoying douches and make REALLY ANNOYING questions in the middle of every match like "HOW MANY SUBS DOES EACH TEAM HAVE?" or "DO THEY HAVE HALF-TIME IN THIS SPORT?". And ofc, when eventually USA gets eliminated they go back to hating "shitty soccer" and think the reason USA got knocked-out is because the sport has shitty officiating and the clock goes up. Yeah how dare other teams not let USA win the World Cup? If you simply don't like a sport then don't pretend to like it once every 4 years. I don't care about rugby or handball, for example, nor do I begin caring or pretending to care when Portugal plays in tournaments of such sports.
BUT, Americans who ACTUALLY follow the sport and their NT regularly aren't like that at all and are well aware that USA is not a juggernaut in this sport. I actually feel bad for Americans who are passionate about the sport because they have to hear a lot of stupid shit from their fellow countrymen and are subjected to unfair abuse online.
Honorable mention:
England: Extremely arrogant press. England is ALWAYS one of the favourites every damn tournament and they never win or impress much in the end. I only recall England doing quite well in 2 tournaments ever since I began watching football: 2002 WC and 2018 WC. For a country that's the "land of football" they sure don't have a very impressive track record at Euros and World Cups. One World Cup in 1966 where they had questionable victories against Portugal in the semis and against West Germany in the final?
However, I'm glad more and more English people have become aware in the last decade that their NT isn't as great as their media claims it to be. It's like they had to miss Euro 2008 and flop in the 2010 World Cup to realise that.
I used to dislike Spain's NT until 2008 or so for similar reasons to England. They were the England of Southern Europe until then. Spain also had a really poor track record in big tournaments for such a powerful football nation. But since 2008 they've earned the right to be arrogant. I guess the tiki-taka wasn't a bad invention after all, eh?
There. Now it's your turn.

Yep, this took a while. Partially because I'm looking for a new job following my spell in the army, but also because rFactor 2 is so damn good.
(Note: I am not sponsored by rFactor 2, Studio 397 or ISI in any shape or form. rFactor 2 is seriously amazing. Buy it now)
Anyway, I was so caught up in rFactor 2 that I actually forgot the first driver I randomly generated. Whoops. Nevermind, my second roll of the dice, #603, probably provides for a more interesting story...

Nelson Piquet Jr.

STATISTICS
Years in F1: 2008-9
Teams Raced For: Renault
Entries: 28
Starts: 28
Podium Finishes: 1
Points: 19 (10 under 9-6-4-3-2-1 system for fair comparison with history)
Highest Finish: 2nd (2008 German Grand Prix)
Different series he has raced in: Eighteen. I'm not bullshitting you here. Eighteen.

Part 1: Which girl were you from?

Okay, that headline was a bit mean and unwarranted to poor Nelson Piquet Sr., but when you've had seven children to four different women, it's pretty much apt for the playboy attitude that the elder Piquet has lived with.
Anyway, to answer that above question, it was the second girl, Sylvia Tamsma, former girlfriend of Elio de Angelis, that gave birth to Nelson Angelo Piquet Jr. on July 25th, 1985, just a few miles away from the Hockenheimring. Who knows what was going on at Hockenheim around that time, especially because the German Grand Prix that year was held at the Nurburgring a week later, not Hockenheim. Just something I found odd.
Anyway, it didn't take long after Piquet Jr.'s birth for the family to split up, leaving Piquet Jr. to live with his mother in Monaco. Then Piquet Sr. had another child with another girl. Then he got back together with Tamsma. And had two children, Julia and Daniil Kvyat's girlfriend. And then split with Tamsma again.
You got all that? Good.
Following that second split, Piquet Jr. went to live with his father this time, particularly as his mother thought of Brazil as a better place to grow up than Monaco and that the younger Piquet can grow up to be a racing driver, just like his dad.
And so, not long after his massive Indy 500 crash, Piquet Sr. held off racing full-time to support his son's karting career from 1993 onwards. Piquet Jr. spent quite a while in karting, but when the time came for him to move up in 2001, his father founded a brand new team, Piquet Sports, for his son to compete in the upcoming Formula 3 Sudamericana season.
Despite missing the first four races of 2001, Piquet performed exceptionally, taking one win that year. But come 2002, Piquet Jr. was the star of the show. 13 wins out of 18. Whew, lad. It was hardly impressive given the standards of Formula 3 Sudamericana, but 13 wins in 18 is nothing to be sniffed at.
What has to be admired, though, was the way Nelson Piquet Jr. arrived onto the Formula Three scene in Great Britian. In his first season there, he notched up six wins on tracks he didn't even know, not to mention a credible second place at the Formula Three Masters event at Zandvoort. Following this up by winning the British Formula Three championship the following season, everyone was starting to believe that this guy truly is the new Nelson Piquet.
Well, duh. It's his son.

Part 2: Winner of a World Cup event

So, 2005 comes around, and Nelson Piquet Jr. is still being shadowed by hid dad, taking him to greater levels of motorsport, all while making sure he had a drive by promoting his Piquet Sports team alongside his son. Partnering with Hitech Racing, the relationship between the two teams was rocky at best, with Piquet Jr. having his most trying season in motorsport yet, with a win at Spa Francorchamps being his only high point of the season.
So, in the off-season, he tried something new: The World Cup
No, you dummy. Not the FIFA World Cup. Or rugby. Or Cricket.
The World Cup Of Motorsport, A1 Grand Prix.
This absolute gem of a racing series, probably still the best concept for a racing series I have ever seen alongside the Speedcar Series, had drivers representing their home nations throughout the season, scoring points for their respective countries. Holding a similar prestige to Formula E nowadays, the series featured a few relatively unknown drivers like Basil Shabaan, many a future prospect like Piquet Jr. himself but also showcased some old Formula One talent as well like Jos Verstappen, father of Max, and Alex Yoong.
With the first race at Brands Hatch being shown to a worldwide audience, Piquet Jr. went ahead and showed himself to the world as the rightful heir to the Piquet name by taking pole, setting fastest lap, leading every lap in the sprint race and winning both races in that first event at Brand Hatch. Though it would be Team France that would dominate that first season and take home the World Cup of Motorsport, Piquet held his own until he was called back to GP2 duties for 2006...
HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!. A British prospect everybody is drooling over. Handpicked by McLaren from young. Everybody is saying he is the future. He is Lewis Hamilton.
2006 was going to be a tough title fight for Piquet Jr. He'd taken the championship in the second season of every series he ran in, but now was a different challenge. Piquet Jr., like Hamilton, was Brazil's prospect, their next Senna, if not the next Barrichello.
Early in the season, Piquet got the jump by winning the first feature race of the season at Valencia, and jumped out to a early season lead after Imola. But then Hamilton won both races at the next weekend at the Nurburgring, followed by another double win at Silverstone, and the championship swung well into Hamilton's favour. The title seemed well out of Piquet's reach, but then he did the impossible.
At the Hungaroring, he sat on pole for the feature race, then took the win and the fastest lap in both the feature and sprint races, a performance reminiscent of his name-making moment at Brands in A1 Grand Prix. He took the maximum points possible from that event, a feat only replicated a few years later by a certain Nico Hulkenberg. This helped him close the gap right up to Hamilton heading to the final event at Monza, where Hamilton still eventually won out.
Piquet Jr. ended 2006 on a high note, winning the Mil Milhas (*1000 miles) Brasil alongside his dad and two other fellows in the car whose names escape me at this moment of time. This wasn't his first achievement in endurance racing, coming in fourth in his GT1 class during the 24 Hours of Le Mans.
So, present day, Lewis Hamilton is a four-time champion in Formula One. Nelson Piquet Jr. only has one podium to his name.
So, what happened?
Flavio Briatore happened.

Part 3: Fever from the Flavio

Right. Flavio Briatore. Him. I don't know about this subreddit's general consensus on the guy, whether he should be lauded for guiding the careers of several drivers like Michael Schumacher, Mark Webber and Fernando Alonso among other or disgraced for his constant arrests on cases of fraud, cheating throughout his Formula One career or that image of him in a thong. (You find that image for yourself, I'm too kind to burn your eyes like that)
Personally, researching into what he did for Piquet Jr., I think he is a piece of shit.
Seeing how Flavio managed drivers to relative levels of success in Formula One in the past, Nelson Piquet Sr. signed his son on with Flavio Briatore for a management contract from 2007 onwards. Big mistake. For the entirety of 2007, Nelson Piquet Jr. was stuck being Renault's test driver for the full year. Unlike other dedicated test drivers in the likes of Gary Paffett, Briatore didn't allow Piquet Jr. to race in any other racing series, forcing him to churn the whole year putting in endless miles for Renault.
In 2008, Piquet Jr. finally got the nod to enter Renault's Formula One squad, but even then the promotion felt like a backhanded compliment. Fernando Alonso, following his one-season stand with McLaren and his infamous rivalry with Lewis Hamilton, made the jump back home to Renault to avoid the toxic situation at McLaren. Following this, Flavio Briatore opted to let go of Heikki Kovalainen from Renault, fearful that the Finn might provide competition to Alonso throughout the course of the season.
So Piquet Jr. was brought in. Simply because he was slower than the other person in contention for Renault's no.2 seat.
That's a new way of being promoted to F1, based on your lack of pace.
And early in the season, Piquet Jr. did indeed have that absence of pace, racecraft, or anything to keep his car on the road. Three crashes after the first six races. Only popping into Q3 just once in those first few races, something Alonso did for every race bar one. After the first few races, Piquet Jr. lost all attention from Flavio and co. as a new rookie driver that needs development, simply treating him as just 'the other driver in the other car', as Nelsinho puts it himself.
The 'other driver' that would overtake Alonso in the final few laps of Renault's home race to score his first points.
The 'other driver' that went on to take Renault's first podium of the year in Germany.
Granted, that podium came down due to Renault getting real lucky with their one-stop pit strategy, pitting just before Tim O'Glock brought out the safety car, but still. Piquet Jr. acutally led the race until three laps to go, when Hamilton dove past on the inside, but Piquet still guided the car home to a wonderful second place, just miles away from his birthplace, 5 days before his 23rd birthday. This was the result that would surely put Piquet Jr. into Flavio's good books...
No, no, nope. Flavio still placed most of the team's back behind Fernando, releagting Piquet Jr. to a true no.2 driver role. Piquet's second half of the season after Germany was marginally better than the first half, with a good run to fourth in Fuji on a day where the Renaults were strong. His season was still littered with accidents though, especially one in Singapore where his accident brought out a perfectly timed safety car for his teammate, Fernando Alonso, gambling on a risky strategy, on Alonso's way to victory, Renault's first in 2008.
And then came 2009. Incredibly, despite talk that a certain Jean-Pierre Jabouille lookalike would replace Nelsinho, Renault retained him for the next year. And that's where Flavio's assholish tendencies came through.
He promised Piquet Jr. that his testing environment will be exactly the same as Alonso's, with the caveat that if Piquet didn't score 40% of Alonso's points, he would fire him at mid-season. Clearly, the pressure was on Nelsinho's shoulders, but it seemed like he could achieve 40% of Alonso's points by mid season. Right?
Yeah, nope. Piquet was limited to three days of dry weather testing, clocking 2000 kilometres. Alonso, who requested more time with the car to get used to the 2009 regulations, amassed nearly twice as much distance during pre-season testing. Likewise, Piquet often claimed all his tests were on hard tyres, heavy fuel loads and a barely rubbered in track, something that would have hampered his qualifying pace in a real track situation, as Alonso got optimal conditions for simulated qualifying runs.
Whether if it was down to the lack of testing or just disappointing driving, Piquet Jr. barely left a mark on the 2009 season, apart from being the first Formula One driver to join Twitter. Briatore was starting to come down hard on Piquet, with all the upgrades going Alonso's way through the course of the season. Still, performances like in China, spinning off several times and requiring several replacement nosecones, gave Briatore some excuse to ignore the Brazilian.
Come the Hungarian Grand Prix, the same race where his teammate worked a minor miracle and placed his Renault on pole, Nelson Piquet Jr. could only qualify 14th. After an anonymous race, Briatore fired him from the team, having scored zero points in 2009, replacing him with said Jean-Pierre Jabouille lookalike, Romain Grosjean.
Piquet Jr. definitely wasn't fast. He was quite a lot slower compared to his teammate. Yet he felt he wasn't given a fair share of the deal.
And he was gonna let the world know.

Part 4: Biting Back on Briatore

The way Formula One drivers are nowadays, they always seem to talk good about the team (save Fernando Alonso and his Honda engines...), praising the mechanics, showing face to the team boss.
Piquet Jr. was never like that.
Even before he left Renault, you could tell he hated the team, or at least Flavio Briatore. In April 2009, he caught up with F1Racing Magazine to answer questions directed at him from subscribers of the magazine. Apart from saying he liked the Valencia Street Circuit (the madman), spoon fights with mechanics, and denying a modelling career vehemently, Piquet Jr. saved his harshest criticisms to a certain Italian boss...

Did you ever think your contract might not be renewed for 2009? Gregory Haines, Spain

Piquet: "...I think I managed to do the best job I could. Still, having Flavio as a boss isn't easy."

Flavio Briatore: Always fair? Always supportive? Andy Beaux Bottomley, UK (GREAT NAME)

Piquet: "Not always. He can be really tough and you need to be able to ignore the right things, absorb the right things and be able to judge everything"

Eddie Irvine said being in Ferrari with Michael Schumacher was like being hit over the head with a cricket bat for four days. How would you describe it with Alonso? Richard Ralf, UK

Piquet: "Well, maybe a bit similar! It's very tough, yeah. I would say it was nearly that".

Yep, Piquet also didn't hold back anything when mentioning his teammate. Mind you, he was still with Renault at the time of this interview. So when he got fired, my goodness me did Piquet Jr. explode. He released quite a lengthy statement, blasting Flavio Briatore as his 'executioner'. Here's the link to the full statement that, well, is quite damning.
There was one question from that interview, though, that stuck out...

People say you crashed deliberately in Singapore. Was it team strategy? Mathieu Villeton, France

Piquet: "[Laughs] Yeah, I wanted to try and kill myself to help Fernando get a podium. I pushed hard and I spun. The team called Fernando in at the right moment. Shit happens to me and he gets lucky. Like in pre-season testing this year!"

He answered Mathieu's question while in Renault.
Now though, Nelson Piquet Jr. was fired. And he hated Briatore.
Time to prove that one guy, Mathieu Villeton, correct.
You all have probably heard of Crashgate by now. For those that haven't, you are living under a massive rock. Go ahead and read the full wiki page that covers this entire controversy, but if you want a quick TL;DR...
Singapore, 2008. Renault gives Alonso weird pit strategy. It needs a safety car to work. They ask Piquet Jr. to crash to bring out said safety car. He even PRACTISED the crash during the warm-up lap. Alonso pits, then Piquet crashes, and Alonso wins. Now Piquet Jr. is fired. He goes ahead and reveals all. Briatore tries to accuse him and his father for attempting to blackmail Renault into hiring him back into the squad for the season's end. Piquet Jr. hits them with a truth bomb: "Because I am telling the truth, I have nothing to fear..."
End result: Briatore and engineering director Pat Symonds leave Renault before getting banned from all motorsport involvement until 2011, with a further ban from F1 events until 2013. Could've been worse for Briatore, with his initial punishment being a ban for life on all motorsport activity. ING and Mutua Madrilena remove their sponsorship deals with Renault effectively. Piquet Jr. will never step into a Formula One car again, but at least he got the pleasure of seeing his 'executioner' punished for his involvement in the scenario.

Part 5: Ride Hopper

So what did Nelson Piquet Jr. get up to following his time in Formula One?
He made the simple, logical step to race in the Camping World Truck Series in NASCAR, obviously. And for a guy that raced single seaters for the majority of his life, he adapted quite well to pickup trucks. He was a constant frequenter of the top-10, and his 2012 season was doubly impressive, managing two wins and finishing in the top-10 on thirteen ocassions. That year, he also started a switch to the Nationwide series, winning one of his only outings that year at Road America in preparation for his full-time assault at the Nationwide series next year.
Unfortunately, his one full year at NASCAR's second tier wasn't remembered for his stellar drives or lack thereof. Instead, it's mostly remembered for Piquet Jr. imitating his father in the form of below-the-belt martial arts.
From there, his career went all sorts of directions. He made a few attempts at the Global Rallycross Championship, pulling a complete Scott Speed and actually being competitive off-road. He also had a very, very brief spell in both Indy Lights and Brazilian Stock Cars, managing one pole position in each series. He also attempted, earlier this year, to compete in the 24 Hours of Le Mans with Rebellion Racing, actually managing to come in third overall, second in LMP2 class. However, it seemed that fate wanted to bite Piquet Jr. in the ass one more time, as officials disqualified the car, making illegal modifications to the floor of the car in previous attempts to repair it.
Finally, Nelson Piquet Jr. was signed by NextEV Team China to drive for them in the new, all-electric motorsport series, Formula E. In his first season, he finally achieved something in the motorsport world. After representing his country in the World Cup, his battle with Hamilton all the chaos in Renault, Crashgate, his words for Flavio Briatore, fisticuffs, below-the-belt kicks and his rallycrossing phase, Nelson Piquet Jr. finally won his first international championship, beating Sebastien Buemi by a solitary point to be crowned Formula E's inaugural champion.
His two years afterwards in Formula E may not have been as spectacular, but that one Formula E title, I bet, was all worth it.
Yep, another one down. I actually had to dig right through my F1Racing Magazine archive for this, the one time those magazines had been useful in my life. I don't know if I've portrayed Piquet in too much of a positive light, given how I think he's very, very crash happy, but I think he deserves Piquet Jr. deserves a bit of sympathy at the very least.
Oh, and buy rFactor 2. Have I mentioned it's amazing yet? (Once again, I'm not sponsored, blah blah blah)
My Other Random Driver Highlights:
#1, Edgar Barth
#2, Ken Richardson
#3, Gerhard Mitter
#4, Chris Amon
#5, Leo Kinnunen
#6, Rikky von Opel
#7, Roberto Bussinello
#8, Charles de Tornaco
#9, Moisés Solana
#10, Boy Hayje
#11, Roy Salvadori
#12, Alberto Colombo
#13, Ken Downing
#14, Sebastian Vettel

The self-proclaimed best league in the world is back! The Top 14 starts on Saturday at 3:10pm with an opening match between the newly promoted Oyannax and the fallen giant Toulouse. Throwing even more money to washed up SH players, most of the teams will start their season with new faces on the pitch. I know, Top 14 rugby is not the most exciting that there is. But is there another league with as much FUPA? Is there another league with as much old greats who should have retired two years ago? . If you've never watched any French rugby, let me give you a tour. Here is a guide to the 2017-18 Top 14 season. After reading that, you'll be able to show off with your friends with you newly acquired useless knowledge.
How does it work?

• The top 2 teams qualify for the 1/2 finals
• The teams ranked from 3rd to 6th qualify for the 1/4 finals
• The top 6 teams qualify for the ERCC
• The team ranked 7th qualify for the ERCC playoffs
• The team ranked 13th will face the loser of the Pro D2 playoffs to stay in the league
• The team ranked last is relegated to Pro D2
• A team can gain a bonus point by scoring 3 more tries than its opponent
• A team can gain a bonus point by losing by 5 points or fewer

SU Agen (Pro D2: 2nd)
Notable moves
IN Ignacio Mieres (Fly Half) Enrico Januarie (Scrum Half) Leandro Cedaro (Lock) Akapusi Qera (Flanker)
OUT Sione Tau (Flanker) Clément Darbo (Fly Half) Burton Francis (Fly Half)
With 8 titles in the past, Agen is a household name in French rugby. Unfortunately for them, they have not been able to get a taste of glory since the jump to professionalism. For the past 10 years and their first relegation, they pretty much spent as much time in Pro D2 as they did in Top 14. So it's no surprise that they're the favorites to go back straight to Pro D2. And being by far the smallest budget in the league (13 million euros) doesn't help either.
Agen managed to land experienced players such as Januarie (La Rochelle) and Qera (Montpellier) who played major minutes with title contenders last season. But the line from experienced to aging may be blurry at times. Agen high flying offense relied heavily on its wingers last season: George Tinsley was the best try scorer in Pro D2, and Filipo Nakosi is a big bruiser. But Top 14 defenses are much tougher, and the league as a whole tends to reward risk-averse teams. Getting as much points as they can at home is their only hope if they want to avoid relegation. And a good result at Oyonnax on week 3 could also be huge for them.
US Oyonnax (Pro D2: 1st)
Notable moves
IN Vincent Debaty (Prop) Hikawera Elliot (Hooker) Rory Grice (Flanker) Matthew Hopper (Centre)
OUT Mickaël De Marco (Lock) Jamie Cudmore (Lock)
Mainly known for playing on artificial turf, Oyonnax is back in Top 14 after winning the Pro D2 last year, spending only one season in the second tier of French rugby. Oyonnax had a massive turnover during the off-season: 19 players left the team, while 21 joined it. The main recruits are Vincent Debaty from Clermont, and Hika Elliot from the Chiefs who will form an experienced first row with Hoani Tui. Rory Grice, who was supposed to join Montpellier at first, arrives from Grenoble despite being under investigation for rape. They can also count on Ben Botica who joined the team last year as a medical replacement late in the season.
Oyonnax' manager said in an interview that they won't hesitate to change their identity to stay in the Top 14. It means a lot for a side that scored the most points last season in Pro D2. Playing on artificial turf represents a huge home advantage for them, and they must capitalize on that. When Oyonnax reached the playoffs in 2015, they only lost 2 games at home (tied for best in the league). Getting close to this level of performance should be far from enough for a 12th place finish.
Stade Toulousain (Top 14: 12th, ERCC: 1/4 Finals )
Notable moves
IN Antoine Dupont (GOAT) Zach Holmes (Fly Half) Charlie Faumuina (Prop), Louis-Benoît Madaule (Flanker)
OUT Edwin Maka (Lock) Thierry Dusautoir (Flanker) Gurthro Steenkamp (Prop) Patricio Albacete (Lock) Grégory Lamboley (Lock) Census Johnston (Prop) Luke McAllister (Centre) Christopher Tolofua (Hooker) Yacouba Camara (Flanker)
Toulouse pretty much reached rock bottom last year. Not only they missed the playoffs for the first time since 1966, but they also fell to a frightening 12th place. Formerly known for its attacking rugby, they were the second to worst offense in the league. An awful season overall not worthy of Thierry Dusautoir who retired in May. To add insult to injury, Toulouse also had to face financial troubles despite having the biggest budget in the league.
But Toulouse won't follow the steps of Biarritz (RIP) and Perpignan. They should be back in contention thanks to a great off-season. Faumuina will replace Census Johnston, and with Baille they will be one the best first row in the league. Toulouse also fixed its biggest weakness: the half-backs. Bézy and Doussain formed a shaky pair by Toulouse standard, and they were often criticized for their poor performance. To replace them, Zach Holmes signed at flyhalf. The Aussie was huge for La Rochelle last season, and he will be a huge upgrade. But the biggest upgrade of them all is at scrum-half with the signing of the future best player in the world (you heard it here first): ANTOINE DUPONT. There are not enough words to express my love for him, so I'll just link a video instead. Holmes and Dupont have to the potential to be the best halk-back pair in Top 14 and they should revitalize Toulouse's backs, especially Fickou who stagnated after showing signs of greatness as a teenager. If the chemistry is here, Toulouse should be able to bounce back and contend for the title. If the jury is still out on Ugo Mola as a manager, this is probably his last chance to prove his coaching acumen.
Another player to follow: Romain N'Tamack should make his professional debut this season. He's the next big flyhalf for France so keep an eye on him.
Union Bordeaux-Bègles (Top 14: 11th, ERCC: Group stage)
Notable moves
IN Leroy Houston (Nr.8) Tian Schoeman (Fly Half)
OUT Adam Ashley-Cooper (Wing) Louis-Benoît Madaule (Flanker) Ian Madigan (Fly Half) Steven Kitshoff (Prop) Jean-Marcellin Buttin (Fullback) Raphaël Ibañez (Manager)
After a steady progression since its promotion in 2011, the UBB experienced a major step-back last season. After failing to reach the playoffs twice in a row for almost nothing , Bordeaux started the season with ambition. Unfortunately, the team staled during the winter (6 consecutive losses). The Madigan experiment was a failure, Ashley-Cooper jogged around, and the team failed to score efficiently despite its territorial domination.
How do you fix that? Let go the disappointing players, and get a new manager. Jacques Brunel will try to work his magic to get Bordeaux back on track. The quiet off-season doesn't make them a favorite for the playoffs, but they have a chance to make it if one of favorites collapses. The team's main attraction remains Baptiste Serin. It will be interesting to see if he's tried again at flyhalf, a position that seems to suit him well.
Lyon OU (Top 14: 10th, Challenge Cup: Group Stage)
Notable moves
IN Liam Gill (Flanker) Clément Ric (Prop) Jean-Marcellin Buttin (Fullback) François Van Der Merwe (Lock) Virgile Lacombe (Hooker) Alexis Palisson (Wing)
OUT Thibaut Privat (Lock) Facundo Isa (Flanker) Napolioni Nalaga (Wing)
The LOU has been used to go back and forth between Top 14 and Pro D2, and for the first time last season, they managed to finish 10th and stay in the league. Solid all around, Lyon boasted the best lineout in the league (89% succes rate) thanks to Ivaldi (186 effective throws: 1st in Top 14) and Puricelli (121 receptions: 1st in Top 14). The back row dominated all year long, and thanks to Michalak mentoring, we saw the rise of Couilloud (20 years old) at scrum half.
What's the next step for Lyon? According to their signings, expect to see them in contention. Almost everybody is back from last year, and they added talented players at almost every position. The only notable loss is Facundo Isa who left for Toulon. But going the opposite direction, Liam Gill looks like an upgrade. Signing Gill was a huge surprise since he was one the best player in Toulon last year.
Section Paloise (Top 14: 9th, Challenge Cup: Group Stage)
Notable moves
IN Thomas Domingo (Prop) Lourens Adriaanse (Prop) Dave Foley (Lock) Frank Halai (Wing) Benson Stanley (Centre) Adrien Planté (Wing)
OUT Mehdi Boundjema (Hooker) James Coughlan (Flanker)
Let me sum up Pau's season with 2 stats. Steffon Armitage led the league in rucks challenged as a defender with 254. The next player in the rankings only had 150. Armitage created 29 turnovers at the breakdown, twice as much as anybody else. That's pretty much all you have to know about Pau. Armitage is the best player in the breakdown, which allows them to be the 2nd fastest team in rucks (Clermont was 1st). After a good season overall, Pau failed to qualify for the playoffs because of a late collapse.
To remedy the situation, and thanks to oil money, the team from the Landes poached some great veterans. Domingo and Adriaanse will be the new starting props. Halai, Stanley, and Planté will join Smith, Votu (2nd best try scorer last year) and Taylor to form the most experienced back line in French rugby. You can guess that anything other than the playoffs will be a let down.
CA Brive (Top 14: 8th, Challenge Cup: 1/4 Finals)
Notable moves
IN Na'ama Leleimalefaga (Prop) James Johnston (Prop) Sila Puafisi (Prop)
OUT Lucas Pointud (Prop) Kévin Buys (Prop) Arnaud Méla (Lock) Teddy Iribaren (Scrum Half)
I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't know much about Brive. I only watched one of their games last year, so I won't be long about them. The only thing I can tell you is that Gaëtan Germain is the best kicker in the league (1st in volume, 3rd in efficiency), Ledevedec is great at lock, they ranked 2nd to worst in bad passes (184), but 1st in metres gained with kicks (667 metres). If you like watching guys better with their feet than with their hands, I guess Brive is the team for you.
Even though they overachieved in 2017, I don't see them finishing as high in 2018. I'm not impressed by their signings, and their rivals improved on paper. That's why I don't see them competing for the playoffs. I think a 12th place finish is in play.
Stade Français (Top 14: 7th, Challenge Cup: Winner)
Notable Moves
IN Terry Bouhraoua (Scrum Half) Marvin O’Connor (Wing) Jimmy Yobo (Centre)
OUT Rabah Slimani (Prop) Pascal Papé (Lock) Raphaël Lakafia (Flanker) Gerhard Mostert (Flanker) Jono Ross (Nr.8) Julien Dupuy (Scrum Half) Will Genia (Scrum Half) Jeremy Sinzelle (Wing) Hugo Bonneval (Wing)
You probably already heard the story of the aborted fusion with Racing 92. It ended up revitalizing a team that was wandering at the bottom of the table for most of the season. The Parisian side managed to finish 7th and won the Challenge Cup. A nice send-off for Pascal Papé. Actually, no I changed my mind: this is the most appropriate send-off for Papé.
This is the end of an era for Stade Français. The new German owner decided to change the club spending policy. The expensive SH players are out, young players will be given a lot more playing time. Expect to see Sekou Macalou blow up. The young flanker showed he could be a star. I mean, how many 20 year old flanker can play winger effectively? U20 international players Theo Millet, Faraj Fartass (best name in Top 14 ever) and Elies El Ansari should get some playing time. All these younglings will be mentored by Terry Bouhraoua who was the captain of France Sevens' team for many years. This team will be exciting to watch, but they won't be able to compete against the top clubs. They should finish around the 10th spot.
I also have to mention the Waisea/Raisuqe situation. These two were involved in a filthy scandal that led to Raisuqe being fired. Waisea only received a warning and will be back with the team.
Racing 92 (Top 14: 6th and 1/2 Finals, ERCC: Group stage)
Notable moves
IN Census Johnston (Prop) Edwin Maka (Lock) Donnacha Ryan (Lock) Teddy Iribaren (Scrum Half) Virimi Vakatawa (Wing)
OUT Virgile Lacombe (Hooker) François van der Merwe (Lock) Chris Masoe (Nr.8)
2016-17 was a weird season for Racing. Ali Williams bought cocaine, Carter had a DUI, Carter used PEDs (allegedly), Goosen's retirement, the failed merger, what a year! After a mediocre start, Racing managed to get to the semi-finals but failed to pass by Clermont. They have a team built to win titles: their scrum was the best in the league (87.8% won), they carry the ball a lot (3035 times, 1st in Top 14), and Nakarawa is an offload factory (65, 1st in Top 14).
Racing is bringing the whole gang back. The only add-on in the starting line-up is Vakatawa who was only playing international rugby beforehand. They also fixed their disastrous bench, signing Johnston, Ryan, Maka, and Iribaren. "Come on, it couldn't be that bad!" you're probably thinking. Let me tell you a story about Racing's bench. When they played home against Pau in a must-win game on week 23, they were leading 34-8 before the whole bench came in at the 55 minute mark. The whole bench had 1 carry total, and the entire team collapsed, only winning 34-32. With a better bench, Racing should be able to contend in Top 14 and ERCC. The big question mark is at hooker. Chat is great with the ball, but he's inefficient with lineouts. This is a part of the game you can neglect when you're trying to win a title.
Castres Olympique (Top 14: 5th and 1/4 Finals, ERCC: Group stage)
Notable moves
IN Ludovic Radosavljevic (Scrum Half) Armand Batlle (Wing)
OUT Antoine Dupont (GOAT) Horacio Agulla (Wing) Rémy Grosso (Wing)
Thanks to Antoine Dupont, Castres was a delight to watch last season. Unfortunately he's now gone to Toulouse. But there is no reason to panic for the CO. Kockott is still a solid scrum half, and the rest of the team is pretty much exactly the same. After losing at the last minute in Toulon during the playoffs, Castres will be back fighting for a Top 6 finish. Urios is a great manager who always bring the best in his players. Jelonch and Babillot are young exciting players who will display their talent in a nurturing environment. Castres plays a fundamentally sound and fun rugby, and if you're looking for a nice game to watch in Top 14, they're a pretty safe bet.
RC Toulon (Top 14: 4th and Finalist, ERCC: 1/4 Finals)
Notable moves
IN Facundo Isa (Flanker) Raphaël Lakafia (Flanker) Jonathan Wisniewski (Fly Half) Malakai Fekitoa (Centre) JP Pietersen (Wing) Chris Ashton (Wing) Hugo Bonneval (Fullback) Edoardo Padovani (Fullback)
OUT Jean-Charles Orioli (Hooker) Juan Smith (Flanker) Liam Gill (Flanker) Jonathan Pélissié (Scrum Half) Pierre Bernard (Fly Half) Maxime Mermoz (Centre) Matt Giteau (Centre) Drew Mitchell (Wing) James O'Connor (Wing) Leigh Halfpenny (Fullback)
The club you love to hate is back with an even more ridiculous team! After being plagued with injuries last season, Toulon managed to save its season during the playoffs. Despite being short-handed, they got into the finals thanks to a heroic performance from its forwards, and a last second drop from Anthony Belleau. The latter, an inexperienced flyhalf, was supposed to go on loan to Agen, but Mourad was so impressed by his composure that he cancelled the deal. He will have more playing time this season since Trinh-Duc is made of glass.
The team plays a destroying rugby relying on power and explosiveness (148 broken tackles, 1st in Top 14). Despite losing Gill to Lyon (I still can't believe that happened), Toulon will still boast a great back row after signing Isa and Lakafia. We'll see a lot of new faces at back. Pietersen and Fekitoa will discover the Top 14, bringing movement in a back line that was static at times last year. Chris Ashton is back from a long suspension, so he must be eager to prove he's still a international level winger. Then, we must talk about the Halfpenny situation. Will he, won't he? Well he won't (thanks Mourad). You may think that now that he left there is no more drama around the fullback position. You guessed wrong! Toulon decided to sign Padovani, thinking he would be a free-agent since the Zebres were supposed to be bankrupt. But the FIR decided to get involved and bailed out the Zebres. Therefore, Padovani is back under contract. It's not clear if he will be able to play or not (please let me know, because I couldn't find any clear information on the subject). I guess Bonneval will start the season as the sole fullback, Ashton backing him up in case of need.
After all the drama surrounding their managers last year, Toulon signed Galthié who's used to work with a lunatic owner. With all the talent in the squad, the expectation will be high. Another exciting season is about to start in Toulon.
Montpellier Hérault Rugby (Top 14: 3rd and 1/4 Finals, ERCC: Group stage)
Notable moves
IN Louis Picamoles (Nr.8) Ruan Piennar (Scrum Half) Aaron Cruden (Fly Half) Jan Serfontein (Centre)
OUT Robins Tchalé-Watchou (Lock) Pierre Spies (Flanker) Antoine Battut (Nr.8) Akapusi QERA (Flanker) Marvin O'Connor (Wing) Demetri Catrakalis (Fly Half) Nic White (Scrum Half)
After a disappointing exit in the playoffs, Montpellier experienced a lot of change during the off-season. The polarizing manager Jake White is out. During his tenure, the team was dominant in mauls and scrums. The game plan was simple: bully your opponent, make the least possible amount of passes, get a lineout, form a maul, plow in, score try. It led to some fun statistical anomalies. For instance, Bismarck Du Plessis ended the 2015-16 season as the 4th best try scorer in the league with 8 tries ... while playing hooker. Let's be honest, it was not the most exciting playing style to watch. Signing Vern Cotter should make them more interesting.
But don't be fooled! Montpellier is still the most intimidating team in Top 14. They have physical freaks at every single position (The Du Plessis gang, Willemse, Nadolo, Nagusa, Tomane), and they signed Louis "the human freight-train" Picamoles. He will be part of a brand new 8-9-10 axis with Piennar and Cruden. Jan Serfontein is another great addition from the Bulls. Those four will help to bring Montpellier its 1st national title. But they won't only rely on their South African stars. There are plenty of talented French player in the squad. Reilhac showed last season that he can be a starter with a title contender. Camara arrives from Paris and will replace Qera at flanker. Finally, Thomas Darmon should see the pitch at some point during the season, since there is no real backup at flyhalf.
By the way, Nagusa was there on day one at training camp, so we can already consider Montpellier's season a success.
ASM Clermont (Top 14: 2nd and Champion, ERCC: Finalist)
Notable moves
IN Rabah Slimani (Prop) Loni Uhila (Prop) Greig Laidlaw (Scrum Half) Peter Betham (Centre)
OUT Vincent Debaty (Prop) Clément Ric (Prop) Thomas Domingo (Prop) Benson Stanley (Centre) Adrien Planté (Wing)
If you're following French rugby, you already know that the defending champ is the favorite to win it all. Clermont has been the most consistent team in French rugby for the past 10 years. They are a real collective force to reckon with. They replaced Domingo with Slimani, but overall the team will be very similar. After winning the Top 14 last season, they'll maybe go all-in on the ERCC after losing in the final 3 times in 5 years.
Stade Rochelais (Top 14: 1st and 1/2 Finals, Challenge Cup: 1/2 Finals)
Notable moves
IN Jean-Charles Orioli (Prop) Tawera Kerr-Barlow (Scrum Half) Ryan Lamb (Fly Half) Jérémy Sinzelle (Wing) Geoffrey Doumayrou (Wing) Rene Ranger (Centre)
OUT Leandro Cedaro (Lock) Romana Graham (Lock) Ricky Januarie (Scrum Half) Zack Holmes (Fly Half)
The must-watch team in 2016-17! La Rochelle shocked the world last season, topping the table all season long. In a league often criticized for its over-reliance on SH talent, La Rochelle found the perfect balance. Experienced SH players (Vito, Eaton, Januarie, James) helped mentoring the talented young French players (Maurouard, Gourdon, Retière, Lacroix, Rattez). Not only La Rochelle had the talent, but they also had the best manager. Patrick Collazo was never shy of experimenting with his squad. For instance, he played Botia (centre) as a flanker, Atonio (prop) as a lock, Retière (scrum half) as a fullback. The Botia experiment was such a success, and he should only play as a forward from now on.
La Rochelle signed world champion Tawera Kerr-Barlow as a replacement for Januarie. Lamb is coming to back-up James after Holmes departure. The rest of the team is back, and the young players will be expected to reach a new level. Maurouard will be eager to show that he's the best French hooker (come on Guy, open your eyes please!), Lacroix and Rattez will have to confirm that they are worthy of the national team. Finally, Retière will be able to progress behing Kerr-Barlow. It will be difficult for La Rochelle to do better than last season, but they only missed the final for a last second drop after playing with 14 men for most of the match so they should be able to do at least as well with all the talent they have.
Conclusion
Did you seriously read all of it? What is wrong with you? I guess you have plenty of time to spare. You should put it to good use and spend your entire weekend watching the Top 14!

Yep, this took a while. Partially because I'm looking for a new job following my spell in the army, but also because rFactor 2 is so damn good.
(Note: I am not sponsored by rFactor 2, Studio 397 or ISI in any shape or form. rFactor 2 is seriously amazing. Buy it now)
Anyway, I was so caught up in rFactor 2 that I actually forgot the first driver I randomly generated. Whoops. Nevermind, my second roll of the dice, #603, probably provides for a more interesting story...

Nelson Piquet Jr.

STATISTICS
Years in F1: 2008-9
Teams Raced For: Renault
Entries: 28
Starts: 28
Podium Finishes: 1
Points: 19 (10 under 9-6-4-3-2-1 system for fair comparison with history)
Highest Finish: 2nd (2008 German Grand Prix)
Different series he has raced in: Eighteen. I'm not bullshitting you here. Eighteen.

Part 1: Which girl were you from?

Okay, that headline was a bit mean and unwarranted to poor Nelson Piquet Sr., but when you've had seven children to four different women, it's pretty much apt for the playboy attitude that the elder Piquet has lived with.
Anyway, to answer that above question, it was the second girl, Sylvia Tamsma, former girlfriend of Elio de Angelis, that gave birth to Nelson Piquet Jr. on July 25th, 1985, just a few miles away from the Hockenheimring. Who knows what was going on at Hockenheim around that time, especially because the German Grand Prix that year was held at the Nurburgring a week later, not Hockenheim. Just something I found odd.
Anyway, it didn't take long after Piquet Jr.'s birth for the family to split up, leaving Piquet Jr. to live with his mother in Monaco. Then Piquet Sr. had another child with another girl. Then he got back together with Tamsma. And had two children, Julia and Daniil Kvyat's girlfriend. And then split with Tamsma again.
You got all that? Good.
Following that second split, Piquet Jr. went to live with his father this time, particularly as his mother thought of Brazil as a better place to grow up than Monaco and that the younger Piquet can grow up to be a racing driver, just like his dad.
And so, not long after his massive Indy 500 crash, Piquet Sr. held off racing full-time to support his son's karting career from 1993 onwards. Piquet Jr. spent quite a while in karting, but when the time came for him to move up in 2001, his father founded a brand new team, Piquet Sports, for his son to compete in the upcoming Formula 3 Sudamericana season.
Despite missing the first four races of 2001, Piquet performed exceptionally, taking one win that year. But come 2002, Piquet Jr. was the star of the show. 13 wins out of 18. Whew, lad. It was hardly impressive given the standards of Formula 3 Sudamericana, but 13 wins in 18 is nothing to be sniffed at.
What has to be admired, though, was the way Nelson Piquet Jr. arrived onto the Formula Three scene in Great Britian. In his first season there, he notched up six wins on tracks he didn't even know, not to mention a credible second place at the Formula Three Masters event at Zandvoort. Following this up by winning the British Formula Three championship the following season, everyone was starting to believe that this guy truly is the new Nelson Piquet.
Well, duh. It's his son.

Part 2: Winner of a World Cup event

So, 2005 comes around, and Nelson Piquet Jr. is still being shadowed by hid dad, taking him to greater levels of motorsport, all while making sure he had a drive by promoting his Piquet Sports team alongside his son. Partnering with Hitech Racing, the relationship between the two teams was rocky at best, with Piquet Jr. having his most trying season in motorsport yet, with a win at Spa Francorchamps being his only high point of the season.
So, in the off-season, he tried something new: The World Cup
No, you dummy. Not the FIFA World Cup. Or rugby. Or Cricket.
The World Cup Of Motorsport, A1 Grand Prix.
This absolute gem of a racing series, probably still the best concept for a racing series I have ever seen alongside the Speedcar Series, had drivers representing their home nations throughout the season, scoring points for their respective countries. Holding a similar prestige to Formula E nowadays, the series featured a few relatively unknown drivers like Basil Shabaan, many a future prospect like Piquet Jr. himself but also showcased some old Formula One talent as well like Jos Verstappen, father of Max, and Alex Yoong.
With the first race at Brands Hatch being shown to a worldwide audience, Piquet Jr. went ahead and showed himself to the world as the rightful heir to the Piquet name by taking pole, setting fastest lap, leading every lap in the sprint race and winning both races in that first event at Brand Hatch. Though it would be Team France that would dominate that first season and take home the World Cup of Motorsport, Piquet held his own until he was called back to GP2 duties for 2006...
HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!. A British prospect everybody is drooling over. Handpicked by McLaren from young. Everybody is saying he is the future. He is Lewis Hamilton.
2006 was going to be a tough title fight for Piquet Jr. He'd taken the championship in the second season of every series he ran in, but now was a different challenge. Piquet Jr., like Hamilton, was Brazil's prospect, their next Senna, if not the next Barrichello.
Early in the season, Piquet got the jump by winning the first feature race of the season at Valencia, and jumped out to a early season lead after Imola. But then Hamilton won both races at the next weekend at the Nurburgring, followed by another double win at Silverstone, and the championship swung well into Hamilton's favour. The title seemed well out of Piquet's reach, but then he did the impossible.
At the Hungaroring, he sat on pole for the feature race, then took the win and the fastest lap in both the feature and sprint races, a performance reminiscent of his name-making moment at Brands in A1 Grand Prix. He took the maximum points possible from that event, a feat only replicated a few years later by a certain Nico Hulkenberg. This helped him close the gap right up to Hamilton heading to the final event at Monza, where Hamilton still eventually won out.
Piquet Jr. ended 2006 on a high note, winning the Mil Milhas (*1000 miles) Brasil alongside his dad and two other fellows in the car whose names escape me at this moment of time. This wasn't his first achievement in endurance racing, coming in fourth in his GT1 class during the 24 Hours of Le Mans.
So, present day, Lewis Hamilton is a four-time champion in Formula One. Nelson Piquet Jr. only has one podium to his name.
So, what happened?
Flavio Briatore happened.

Part 3: Fever from the Flavio

Right. Flavio Briatore. Him. I don't know about this subreddit's general consensus on the guy, whether he should be lauded for guiding the careers of several drivers like Michael Schumacher, Mark Webber and Fernando Alonso among other or disgraced for his constant arrests on cases of fraud, cheating throughout his Formula One career or that image of him in a thong. (You find that image for yourself, I'm too kind to burn your eyes like that)
Personally, researching into what he did for Piquet Jr., I think he is a piece of shit.
Seeing how Flavio managed drivers to relative levels of success in Formula One in the past, Nelson Piquet Sr. signed his son on with Flavio Briatore for a management contract from 2007 onwards. Big mistake. For the entirety of 2007, Nelson Piquet Jr. was stuck being Renault's test driver for the full year. Unlike other dedicated test drivers in the likes of Gary Paffett, Briatore didn't allow Piquet Jr. to race in any other racing series, forcing him to churn the whole year putting in endless miles for Renault.
In 2008, Piquet Jr. finally got the nod to enter Renault's Formula One squad, but even then the promotion felt like a backhanded compliment. Fernando Alonso, following his one-season stand with McLaren and his infamous rivalry with Lewis Hamilton, made the jump back home to Renault to avoid the toxic situation at McLaren. Following this, Flavio Briatore opted to let go of Heikki Kovalainen from Renault, fearful that the Finn might provide competition to Alonso throughout the course of the season.
So Piquet Jr. was brought in. Simply because he was slower than the other person in contention for Renault's no.2 seat.
That's a new way of being promoted to F1, based on your lack of pace.
And early in the season, Piquet Jr. did indeed have that absence of pace, racecraft, or anything to keep his car on the road. Three crashes after the first six races. Only popping into Q3 just once in those first few races, something Alonso did for every race bar one. After the first few races, Piquet Jr. lost all attention from Flavio and co. as a new rookie driver that needs development, simply treating him as just 'the other driver in the other car', as Nelsinho puts it himself.
The 'other driver' that would overtake Alonso in the final few laps of Renault's home race to score his first points.
The 'other driver' that went on to take Renault's first podium of the year in Germany.
Granted, that podium came down due to Renault getting real lucky with their one-stop pit strategy, pitting just before Tim O'Glock brought out the safety car, but still. Piquet Jr. acutally led the race until three laps to go, when Hamilton dove past on the inside, but still, it was the turnaround result for Piquet Jr. in Formula One, the one to carry him through the rest of the season...
No, no, nope. Flavio still placed most of the team's back behind Fernando, releagting Piquet Jr. to a true no.2 driver role. Piquet's second half of the season after Germany was marginally better than the first half, with a good run to fourth in Fuji on a day where the Renaults were strong. His season was still littered with accident though, especially one in Singapore where his accident brought out a perfectly timed safety car for his teammate, Fernando Alonso, gambling on a risky strategy, on Alonso's way to victory, Renault's first in 2008.
And then came 2009. Incredibly, despite talk that a certain Jean-Pierre Jabouille lookalike would replace Nelsinho, Renault retained him for the next year. And that's where Flavio's assholish tendencies came through.
He promised Piquet Jr. that his testing environment will be exactly the same as Alonso's, with the caveat that if Piquet didn't score 40% of Alonso's points, he would fire him at mid-season. Clearly, the pressure was on Nelsinho's shoulders, but it seemed like he could achieve 40% of Alonso's points by mid season. Right?
Yeah, nope. Piquet was limited to three days of dry weather testing, clocking 2000 kilometres. Alonso, who requested more time with the car to get used to the 2009 regulations, amassed nearly twice as much distance during pre-season testing. Likewise, Piquet often claimed all his tests were on hard tyres, heavy fuel loads and a barely rubbered in track, something that would have hampered his qualifying pace in a real track situation, as Alonso got optimal conditions for simulated qualifying runs.
Whether if it was down to the lack of testing or just driver talent, Piquet Jr. barely left a mark on the 2009 season, apart from being the first Formula One driver to join Twitter. Briatore was starting to come down hard on Piquet, with all the upgrades going Alonso's way through the course of the season. Still, performances like in China, spinning off several times and requiring several replacement nosecones, gave Briatore some excuse to ignore the Brazilian.
Come the Hungarian Grand Prix, the same race where his teammate worked a minor miracle and placed his Renault on pole, Nelson Piquet Jr. could only qualify 14th. After an anonymous race, Briatore fired him from the team, having scored zero points in 2009, replacing him with Romain Grosjean.
Piquet Jr. definitely wasn't fast. He was quite a lot slower compared to his teammate. Yet he felt he wasn't given a fair share of the deal.
And he was gonna let the world know.

Part 4: Biting Back on Briatore

The way Formula One drivers are nowadays, they always seem to talk good about the team (save Fernando Alonso and his Honda engines...), praising the mechanics, showing face to the team boss.
Piquet Jr. was never like that.
Even before he left Renault, you could tell he hated the team, or at least Flavio Briatore. In April 2009, he caught up with F1Racing Magazine to answer questions directed at him from subscribers of the magazine. Apart from saying he liked the Valencia Street Circuit (the madman), spoon fights with mechanics, and denying a modelling career vehemently, Piquet Jr. saved his harshest criticisms to a certain Italian boss...

Did you ever think your contract might not be renewed for 2009? Gregory Haines, Spain

Piquet: "...I think I managed to do the best job I could. Still, having Flavio as a boss isn't easy."

Flavio Briatore: Always fair? Always supportive? Andy Beaux Bottomley, UK (GREAT NAME)

Piquet: "Not always. He can be really tough and you need to be able to ignore the right things, absorb the right things and be able to judge everything"

Eddie Irvine said being in Ferrari with Michael Schumacher was like being hit over the head with a cricket bat for four days. How would you describe it with Alonso? Richard Ralf, UK

Piquet: "Well, maybe a bit similar! It's very tough, yeah. I would say it was nearly that".

Yep, Piquet also didn't hold back anything when mentioning his teammate. Mind you, he was still with Renault at the time of this interview. So when he got fired, my goodness me did Piquet Jr. explode. He released quite a lengthy statement, blasting Flavio Briatore as his 'executioner'. Here's the link to the full statement that, well, is quite damning.
There was one question from that interview, though, that stuck out...

People say you crashed deliberately in Singapore. Was it team strategy? Mathieu Villeton, France

Piquet: "[Laughs] Yeah, I wanted to try and kill myself to help Fernando get a podium. I pushed hard and I spun. The team called Fernando in at the right moment. Shit happens to me and he gets lucky. Like in pre-season testing this year!"

He answered Mathieu's question while in Renault.
Now though, Nelson Piquet Jr. was fired. And he hated Briatore.
Time to prove that one guy, Mathieu Villeton, correct.
You all have probably heard of Crashgate by now. For those that haven't, you are living under a massive rock. Go ahead and read the full wiki page that covers this entire controversy, but if you want a quick TL;DR...
Singapore, 2008. Renault gives Alonso weird pit strategy. It needs a safety car to work. They ask Piquet Jr. to crash to bring out said safety car. He even PRACTISED the crash during the warm-up lap. Alonso pits, then Piquet crashes, and Alonso wins. Now Piquet Jr. is fired. He goes ahead and reveals all. Briatore tries to accuse him and his father for attempting to blackmail Renault into hiring him back into the squad for the season's end. Piquet Jr. hits them with a truth bomb: "Because I am telling the truth, I have nothing to fear..."
End result: Briatore and engineering director Pat Symonds leave Renault before getting banned from all motorsport involvement until 2011, with a further ban from F1 events until 2013. Could've been worse for Briatore, with his initial punishment being a ban for life on all motorsport activity. ING and Mutua Madrilena remove their sponsorship deals with Renault effectively. Piquet Jr. will never step into a Formula One car again, but at least he got the pleasure of seeing his 'executioner' punished for his involvement in the scenario.

Part 5: Ride Hopper

So what did Nelson Piquet Jr. get up to following his time in Formula One?
He made the simple, logical step to race in the Camping World Truck Series in NASCAR, obviously. And for a guy that raced single seaters for the majority of his life, he adapted quite well to pickup trucks. He was a constant frequenter of the top-10, and his 2012 season was doubly impressive, managing two wins and finishing in the top-10 on thirteen ocassions. That year, he also started a switch to the Nationwide series, winning one of his only outings that year at Road America in preparation for his full-time assault at the Nationwide series next year.
Unfortunately, his one full year at NASCAR's second tier wasn't remembered for his stellar drives or lack thereof. Instead, it's mostly remembered for Piquet Jr. imitating his father in the form of below-the-belt martial arts.
From there, his career went all sorts of directions. He made a few attempts at the Global Rallycross Championship, pulling a complete Scott Speed and actually being competitive off-road. He also had a very, very brief spell in both Indy Lights and Brazilian Stock Cars, managing one pole position in each series. He also attempted, earlier this year, to compete in the 24 Hours of Le Mans with Rebellion Racing, actually managing to come in third overall, second in LMP2 class. However, it seemed that fate wanted to bite Piquet Jr. in the ass one more time, as officials disqualified the car, making illegal modifications to the floor of the car in previous attempts to repair it.
Finally, Nelson Piquet Jr. was signed by NextEV Team China to drive for them in the new, all-electric motorsport series, Formula E. In his first season, he finally achieved something in the motorsport world. After representing his country in the World Cup, his battle with Hamilton all the chaos in Renault, Crashgate, his words for Flavio Briatore, fisticuffs, below-the-belt kicks and his rallycrossing phase, Nelson Piquet Jr. finally won his first international championship, beating Sebastien Buemi by a solitary point to be crowned Formula E's inaugural champion.
His two years afterwards in Formula E may not have been as spectacular, but that one Formula E title, I bet, was all worth it.
Yep, another one down. I actually had to dig right through my F1Racing Magazine archive for this, the one time those magazines had been useful in my life. I don't know if I've portrayed Piquet in too much of a positive light, given how I think he's very, very crash happy, but I think he deserves Piquet Jr. deserves a bit of sympathy at the very least.
Oh, and buy rFactor 2. Have I mentioned it's amazing yet? (Once again, I'm not sponsored, blah blah blah)
My Other Random Driver Highlights:
#1, Edgar Barth
#2, Ken Richardson
#3, Gerhard Mitter
#4, Chris Amon
#5, Leo Kinnunen
#6, Rikky von Opel
#7, Roberto Bussinello
#8, Charles de Tornaco
#9, Moisés Solana
#10, Boy Hayje
#11, Roy Salvadori
#12, Alberto Colombo
#13, Ken Downing
#14, Sebastian Vettel