MONOPOLY Live Evolution

Hey hey, ladies and gents, I posted this on productivity and it got removed without an explanation, might have been the fact that it’s a list. But still, use this as a database, it’ll really help!
I spend dozens of hours every week researching, writing, and re-writing this type of content and making sure everyone that supports me gets exactly the kind of content they deserve. It's my job at this point.
This database/list is a Reddit first, but I'm publishing a categorized version in this week's premium email, I'm also creating a searchable database that I'll be inviting subscribers to.
I hope you enjoy this, some might sound as basic as they come but let me tell you, they help immensely.
If you want more from me, my email list which is free/paid whatever floats your goal, is on my profile.
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1. Try sleeping at the same time every night.

This habit enables you to fall asleep faster and wake up at the same time, like clockwork, all subconsciously.
Your body clock and circadian rhythms control hormones such as melatonin. Sleeping at the same time every night is one of the queues for your body to start secreting melatonin - this is why you subconsciously get tired and start yawning at a particular time when you have a routine.
There’s much more to sleep and body clock queues here.

2. Do the most challenging thing first.

This could be at the start of your day, the beginning of a project, or your study session’s first hour. After completing this task, you’ll have not only done something meaningful with your day, but you’ll feel the momentum carry through to other todo items.

3. Replace recurring decisions with routines.

Every decision you make throughout the day comes with a tiny mental tax. When you add it all up, you start performing worse at the choices that matter. So eliminate picking an outfit, deciding on breakfast, or figuring out when to workout - replace them all with a routine.
The faster you commit to pre-selecting a schedule and sticking to it, the more mentally precise and swift you’ll be when you make decisions.

4. Keep airplane mode on for the first two hours of the day.

Make the morning yours, get acquainted with how you feel, and take control of your time before others try to compete for it.

5. Avoid starting and stopping to eliminate your overhead.

When you stop a task to answer an email, help someone, or check notifications, you disrupt or altogether avoid deep work. Instead, designate a time to deal with all the ‘admin’ stuff on your schedule, not someone else’s.

6. Check external solutions to your problem before inventing a new one.

There’s a high chance that the problems you have in your work, code, studies, gym routine, etc. have been repeated.
If you’re messing up an exercise, ask the staff or check out a tutorial. Before doing some crazy code gymnastics, check out some forums. Before drafting a reporting template, see if the company already has a standard.

7. Asking is sometimes all you need to do to create your own options, uncover solutions, and learn.

We always hear, “If you never ask, the answer is always no.” So ask for a little extra, ask for an alternative, an exception, the dumb question. If you don’t ask, you won’t know and won’t receive it. A lot of the time, asking has a massive upside with almost no downside.
We don’t ask most of the time because we don’t want to be a bother - but the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Another reason goes deep into cognitive biases; loss aversion, and mastering it will help in every aspect of life.

8. Write down your mistakes and lessons learned.

We almost always repeat our mistakes; it’s too hard to remember the lessons we thought we learned. Writing them down and revisiting them helps us etch them into our memory, but doing this haphazardly isn’t as effective as systematically.
A terrific strategy is to put together a rule book or set of principles that you can always refer back to when you’re in doubt. If you can do this, it’ll be worth your time.

9. Design your environment to serve you.

Cleaning your office, eliminating distractions, getting rid of bad influences, surrounding yourself with like-minded people; these are all environment choices. Designing your environment to push yourself in the direction you desire will have a disproportionately positive effect on your success.
The essential strategy here is to reduce friction within your surroundings, and sometimes it's not so obvious - ask yourself, “What’s something that gets in my way when I’m working?” and “Can I get rid of or manage it?”

10. Identify the credible people around you.

It’s hard to decipher constructive criticism from noise. If you create a list, even a mental one, of the people who matter in their feedback, you’ll have a much easier time trusting opinions without having doubts about the quality.

11. Be aware of your mental state when making decisions.

Something as trivial as being hungry can make your emotions play a much larger role ina logical decision. Reminding ourselves and being aware of our mental state can delay making decisions until we’re better equipped to handle it.

12. Making life easier for other people makes yours easier too.

Make your customers' life easier; be rewarded with repeat customers. Make your professor's life easier; be rewarded with higher marks. Make your manager’s life easier; get promoted.

13. The right type of meditation makes all the difference.

Mindfulness, spiritual, transcendental; all that matters is that it works for you.
Yours might be going for a run and exercising focus, or having a coffee in silence while being aware of your surroundings.
Any time you take for yourself and exercise doing practically nothing, noticing when a thought comes, acknowledging it, and moving on is meditation.

14. If it takes less than a few minutes to do, just do it.

We procrastinate on many small things until they combine to become an actual problem. So doing them in the moment is the perfect way to avoid the big one.
This rule doesn’t mean disrupting deep work; that’s a form of procrastination in itself. It means that when you aren’t, you can bundle a few tasks together and be done with it in less than 10–15 minutes.
Dishes out of the dishwasher, bed made, floor swept, call returned. It’s easy and will leave a clean mental state for future you.

15. Put schedules next to your to-do list items.

This will allow you to complete the tasks, and maybe not right away, but soon enough, you’ll start to realize how many items are appropriate. Say goodbye to the endless list that’s never complete.

16. Have an overarching goal for the day.

Each night, write a single goal for the next day. If you complete this, it was a successful day.

17. When reading self-help books, case studies, papers, and biographies have a pen and notepad with you.

Underlines, notes, important chapters, paragraphs you’ve read for the 5th time, and notes that are thicker than the sections they were written about — this is how you learn.
Taking this much time and care may be the same time it takes someone else to read three books, but I’m betting you’ll come out more knowledgeable. Quality > Quantity.

18. Actively listen to the person when you’re talking to them

Ego is something everyone wrestles with because we’re inherently the center of our universe. Listening is such an immense exercise in focus, learning, and empathy that your ego level almost drops to zero.
Too many people wait for their turn to talk instead of listening. You can avoid so much miscommunication by doing this, and you’ll be better for it. This also goes for reading emails and texts.

19. Spend time refining your diet.

The level of improvement in thinking, decision-making, fitness, and productivity has significant ties with what you put in your body. This isn’t some trivial point, either.
The classic example is sugar and caffeine’s effects on performance. Protein supplements and healthy fats, an appropriate amount of carbs, all of this preparation helps. It’s likely not a placebo when someone is raving about how great they feel after switching up their diet.

20. Thank people for their hard work and acknowledge their efforts.

This costs you nothing and gives you all the benefits you could hope for. Not only is it the right thing to do, but it will enhance the collective productivity and morale in your social circles, groups, projects, teams, and companies.

21. Learn to delegate and automate.

Think about a task that you often do. Do you need to be doing it? Can you put in some investment of time or money to get rid of the job forever? Does that investment pay off?
Answering these questions will allow you to examine if it's viable to delegate or automate a routine.
Technical automation by using Zapier, Google Sheets, and other apps can be inexpensive or free. Delegating tasks by hiring the right people might win you back countless hours of your own time.
Identify. Assess. Execute.

22. Get the sleeping hours that work for you.

Don’t listen to the overworking ‘hustle’ crowd. You can get a full night's sleep and still be working hard and smart.
Your hours will yield a much higher return if you’re well-rested and switched on. So whether you need nine hours or six, do it without guilt, and plan around it for significant productivity.

23. Use the 3-second rule when you’re procrastinating.

Engage your fight or flight instinct by starting a task three seconds after realizing you’re procrastinating.
You count down from three, and once you get to zero, you just do the thing. There’s no question about it, no further dwelling, just action.
If you fail at this once, this rule will never work again. It’s a mental exercise and sounds trivial, nonsensical even, but it works.

24. Split up your regular week and blow off some steam.

It’s hard to keep the ‘go go go’ attitude sustainable, and if you’re in it for the long game, you need to have some time for play. But many people face extreme guilt when they take time off.
Don't see it as “not working,” look at it like a requirement for success and an essential ingredient for a content life, a part of the productivity cycle.
Take a Tuesday or Thursday night to do something fun, relaxing, or different. Learn to split up your week, so the days don’t melt into one.

25. Dress for the occasion.

Dressing to be productive or successful will put you in the mindset to do just that. It’s your uniform; it’s a signal to yourself that it’s time to work.
This is why we feel much more productive, dressed smartly than wearing what we’ve slept with and trying to get work done from the bed.

26. Split your work into chunks.

This helps with procrastination as well as organization. Massive projects and undertakings are often daunting and require more than willpower to tackle.
Splitting it up into chunks not only makes things more digestible, but it also gives you a sense of progress and momentum as you complete tasks.

27. Verbalize the problem.

If you’re struggling with a problem, talk it through with a friend, co-worker, or inanimate object. When you start explaining your situation, there’s a good chance that you’ll solve it.
Explaining something requires that you take out the jumbled thoughts in your head and string them together to make sense to a third party. Programmers call this Rubber Duck Debugging - explaining the issue to a rubber duck.

28. Bundle your social media distractions.

Similar to designating hours for tasks like emails. If you set a time in the day to consume Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, you’ll be less distracted by every notification that comes in.

29. Make your communications clear and concise.

Especially for emails, dot points are a lifesaver and allow people to decipher what you’re saying quickly. Beating around the bush or being overly kind never helps.
Conveying urgency, being firm and clear will help someone solve your query faster than going back and forth until the email chain is 30 emails long.

30. The first and last two hours of your day are prime learning hours.

This is especially useful for committing things to memory like speeches and presentations. Reading, writing, re-writing, and verbalizing the content right before and right after REM sleep reduces learning friction.

31. Practice things in the worst possible scenarios first.

If you have an exam, a presentation, or a sales pitch, practice in non-ideal scenarios.
Make sure you’re tired and in an auditorium with a lot of distractions when practicing your presentation. Or you replicate the exam conditions as much as possible when doing a test exam, i.e. try not to do it in your PJs while listening to Lo-Fi Hip Hop.

32. Ask yourself whether it’s time to switch up a habit.

The more successful we become, the more habits we need to adjust. It takes a few years into mild success before you realize that you’re spending time doing certain things when it’d be more efficient to pay for the service.
What habits have you kept for a long time that may need adjusting? You could be eating healthier than the cup ramen college days, or you might not like going out as much. Assessing will help you find out.

33. Try one-word speed readers for faster reading.

Speed reading for quick information is underrated - this might not be the best thing for retention and detail, but certainly for faster information transfer. Many speed reading apps show one word at a time on the screen, allowing you to focus - you set the speed.
A quick Google search should get you the right apps and extensions.

34. Prepare and bundle your weekly tasks instead of doing them in the moment.

Typical examples are meal prep, bulk ironing clothes, and even setting up your bag for the next day. Doing this reduces friction and bandwidth throughout your week, day, or morning.

35. If you want to do continuous work, switch up the ‘type’ of work, and add variety.

This is easier for some than others. Visual and design work is different from analytical work. Sitting down and looking at a screen is different from cleaning or going to the gym, and yet it’s all productive - this is also called productive procrastination.

36. Figure out what timing increments work for you.

Some people prefer to use the Pomodoro Technique to work between 25 minutes and 1.5 hours at a time and take a short break. Others will opt to work continuously and achieve a flow state. Both options work, but they depend on your preference.

37. Color code your apps for quick access.

Color coding may or may not be worth the time. Some people prefer using the search function for quick access. Though by color-coding, you can seamlessly swipe through pages and find the app you need. We’re visual creatures, and logos are more memorable than names.

38. Use The No 7s Rule

When trying to decide whether to say yes to something, it’s a fantastic strategy not to allow yourself to give it a 7/10 - because if it’s not a “Hell Yes!” It should be a “No.”
You’re either going to give it a six or below (barely passable), or an eight and above (exciting).

39. Only have 3 things on your todo list.

Less is more, and that’s because you can focus a lot easier. You’ll have a purpose in your day when you have a simple story - I need to get X, Y, and Z done, and that’s a win.

40. Flip a coin

It’s the easiest way to make a decision and not for reasons you think.
If you’re stuck between two options, flip the coin and commit within three seconds. What will happen is that the urgency will engage your gut, and you’ll go for the opportunity you wanted anyway.

41. Optimize light exposure to sleep like a baby.

This means light exposure through sunlight during the day and artificial light in the evening. You want a lot of sunlight and minimal unnatural light - this natural cycle is how the human body evolved, and following it will make sure you sleep very well.
This cycle is built up of Circadian Rhythms to make up what we call the body clock. And among other things, natural body processes like the day/light cycle will regulate melatonin.

42. Prolonged endurance training is the surest way to clear your mind and gain a natural high.

Runners High is a real thing. When you do similar aerobic exercises like cycling and swimming, you’ll activate a flood of antidepressants and euphoriants that are naturally produced in your brain - this enables you to clear your head and will put you in a meditative state without needing to meditate.

43. The best productivity app is either a simple note app or a physical notepad.

Less is more when it comes to taking notes, and if you write them, date them, and organize them without all the bells and whistles, you’re going to have a much better time.

44. If you’re having a bad day, zoom out.

If you take your typical day and give it 100% regardless of whether luck’s on your side or not, understand that it will even out.
Yesterday may have been a high, today might be a low, and tomorrow might be somewhere in between - but if you’re consistent, there’ll be an upward trend when you zoom out to a year or decade.

45. Learn the difference between maximizers and satisficers.

There are natural maximizers and natural satisfiers. The maximizers will consider every possible option, do their research, and perfect a decision with all available information. The satisficers will pick the first option that satisfies what they’re looking for.
Maximizers will often feel overwhelmed or overthink fundamental decisions, while satisfiers can get through them quickly.
But satisficers can sometimes make poor decisions on things they could have avoided if they did the research.
There’s a happy medium of knowing when to maximize and when to satisfy. Investment fund? Maximize. Takeout? Satisfy.
This is only really learned by trial and error, but ask yourself the question when you’re mulling over your next decision: Am I maximizing when I should be satisfying? Or vice versa.
Cheers,
That’s everything for now - if you want to subscribe to my email list, just check my profile :)

Weekly ACC Discussion Thread

[OT] Ten Months ago I responded to a prompt about wandering into a cave and finding a world with tamable monsters. Today, Into the Tall Grass is a published novel!

Hello everyone!
To repeat what the title said, ten months ago I responded to a prompt:

[WP] When out in the woods, you discover a cave that leads to a world that operates under Pokémon logic... And find that you have an innate ability to tame the monsters of this world.

The idea absolutely gripped me - and now I’ve published a novel inspired by that prompt and my love of monster taming games! Here’s the details:

Two suns, foreign plants, and a whole slew of monsters to tame.
Amateur entomologist and reluctant Life Scout, Caleb finds far more than he expected when he stumbles through a hidden cave and into a new world full of Kritt - monsters that can be tamed and taught to fight. He also didn’t expect evil overlords and their minions looking to use the power of Kritt to grind this world under their bootheel.
Unless someone stops them, that is.
Once meeting Antoinette, an affectionate ant Kritt that bonds with Caleb, and Karla, a tamer of this world that’s living off the land and preparing to strike back against the Darkholds, they set off. Their goal? Help free the people of this world from the Overseer’s grasp. A mountain’s worth of threats stand in their way, though: the Overseer’s soldiers, terrible abominations, wild Kritt, and all the trouble Caleb’s sarcastic mouth can cause.
Welcome, Caleb, to the world of Kritt. Now evolve - or perish.

Into the Tall Grass is a Portal Fantasy/Isekai book with strong gamelit elements.
FAQ
Harem/Sex/Murder?
Nope. This story is designed to capture the feel of those classic games, and while it does have higher stakes than those games, it is designed to capture the light-hearted feel that we all love.
Audiobook?
Nothing yet announced, but I’ll update if there is one!
Stats?
Into the Tall Grass is a stat light gamelit, and the stats do not appear explicitly until later in the book once Caleb gets his totally-not-a-Pokedex goggles. The later books in the series will have more detailed stats as Caleb delves further into the system that runs this world.
Shorts?
They’re comfy and easy to wear.
Where do I catch the book?
Well, you first need to learn HM Cut, go to the hole in the wall after beating the second boss...or you can just get it on Amazon
Amazon US Link - UK | CA | AU | DE | MX | JP | IN | BR | FR | ES | IT | NL
I want to sample before I pick up?
Well, good news for you - just read on!
Caleb Cooper slapped at his arm with a growl. Another mosquito. He wouldn’t have said camping was his least favorite activity in the world. Even at sixteen, he could easily imagine worse ways to spend his time. He could have his feet dipped in acid, or be stabbed in the back repeatedly, or repeat algebra. But no one was forcing him to do any of those, because he’d passed algebra and hadn’t angered any Bond villains lately.
“C’mon, try to smile some,” his dad said, walking up behind him and shaking his back. “What more could you want? We’ve got the great outdoors, we’ve got trees, we’ve got sun, we’ve got fresh air...this is perfect!”
Caleb sighed. “Oh, yeah, surrounded by kids who’re still in junior high. It’s everything a growing teen could want. Toxic plants, the sun, brats who think I’m a weirdo, the sun again...what’s not to love? You know, I could be going to a party tonight.”
His dad’s smile didn’t waver. “You do so love the party scene. I mean, the last one you went to was...Jimmy Dryer’s eighth birthday party? Getting wild up in the hizzouse there.”
“Okay, dad, I need to tell you two things. First of all, if you say hizzouse out loud, ever again, I will die. I will literally fall over dead from embarrassment. No, I know the correct definition of literally and I am using it correctly, that is actually what will happen. Do you want to be responsible for filicide via intense shame?”
“I’m positive that’s not actually possible.”
“Oh, it totally is. Remember Becky? Died last year because her mom was singing ‘Ain’t nuthin but a G Thang.’ Sure, they say Becky changed schools because they moved, but it was all a cover up. Heard her mom singing and pow!” Caleb punched a closed fist into his empty hand. “dropped over dead.”
His dad laughed. “Noted. And the second thing?”
“You might have picked up subtle hints about this, what with me mentioning it no less than two hundred and ninety eight times on the drive down here according to you. I don’t really like camping.”
There was a long pause, and his dad’s face fell. Caleb immediately winced, but it was too late. “You used to beg to go out every year, remember?”
Yeah, in like 8th grade. When all his friends had been in boy scouts with him, and he’d been able to spend time with them. But high school had come, and his friends had moved on. But the Coopers came from a long line of Eagle scouts. His dad was an Eagle Scout, his grandfather had been an Eagle Scout, and Caleb’s dad would be damned if his son wasn’t an Eagle Scout. “Right,” Caleb muttered. “Sorry, I’ll give it a chance. I’m sure once I get back in the groove it’ll be fine.”
“That’s the spirit!” His dad’s face lit back up.
Caleb gave him an expression that could have been a grin if you squint hard enough. “Awesome. I’m going to...head out.” He turned to trundle off into the woods.
“Where are you going?” his dad asked.
Caleb held up a glass. “Going to see if I can find an Acorn Weevil. There’s a lot of oaks around here, and I’d like one for the collection.”
It was the one part of the outdoors Caleb enjoyed -- catching insects. It was a bit of an odd hobby, but Caleb was a bit of a junior entomologist and enjoyed it. He was thinking about going to college for entomology after he graduated. Something about the wide variety of possible insects, finding things that people usually overlooked, categorizing them...it was calming. He had several glass cases of them pinned at home, many of them gathered from scouting trips like these.
Naturally, it was the one part of the outdoors his dad didn’t like. His father turned green and motioned for Caleb to go ahead. “Don’t wander too far!” he shouted.
Yeah, yeah. It wasn’t like he could go too far even if he wanted to. The campsite was in the middle of a series of mid-Missouri bluffs, and wandering more than an hour’s walk would inevitably lead to a solid rock wall. Or a road.
Step by step, the sounds of the rest of the boy scout troop receded in the forest behind him. Caleb let out a sigh of relief. He was the only high schooler still in the troop, and a lot of the older kids thought he had to be some kind of loser to still be doing this at his age.
They aren’t wrong, Caleb thought. Just not for the right reasons. Being a boy scout isn’t what made him a loser. It was his complete lack of social life at high school, relegated only to a few other dorks at lunch who he didn’t really hang out with, and the fact that he collected bugs when most people were going to parties or making out or getting drunk or playing video games or even playing Magic: The Gathering - that made him a loser.
That’s right. The MTG kids could look down on him for bug collecting. Was that fair? Obviously, they deserved someone who they could look down on too, and Caleb understood that unlike their weird hobby, his weird hobby was also gross. Still, didn’t he deserve the same? Someone he could silently judge and feel superior to? But, no, the only ones lower than him on the social hierarchy were kids with actual issues, and Caleb didn’t want to be that kind of jerk.
The worst part was, he felt bad for not enjoying the scouts anymore. If his dad had planned these trips as one on one things, where they could go out and find rare insects, or even some other wildlife finding things like birdwatching or something, Caleb would have loved their trips as much as he used to. Well, probably. Maybe. I’d like it better if I knew this was the alternative, Caleb amended. These days, however, he’d found most of the insects at their usual camping sights. He actually had an acorn weevil already, but there was no way his dad would remember it - since his dad didn’t really look beyond his own wants. He wanted an Eagle Scout, so an Eagle Scout Caleb would be.
Especially after what had happened with mom. Dad had become rabid about father-son activities since then. “It’s just the two of us now,” Dad said once, when he’d had a bit too much to drink after work. “Just the two of us.”
Caleb shook his head and brushed away a tree branch before it could slap him in the face. The stinging in his eyes was a good reminder why he didn’t want to go down that particular rabbit hole.
A little while later, as he had expected, Caleb found himself at one of the bluffs. It was a solid expanse of rock, covered in creeping vines. The tendrils would be crawling with acrobat ants, which made them a nice place to stop because they’d keep the wasp population down in the region. Maybe I could try to find a nest. Maybe even a queen. That thought he discarded - it would be a prize, but the only way he’d ever add an ant queen to his collection would be if he found one dead. It felt different than taking a single insect and putting it on his board. Taking a queen could wipe out an entire colony.
When I finish college, I’ll get a whole terrarium. Then I can have living ones. That way I’ll get to enjoy my insects in peace and make sure I never ever have people invite themselves over. They’ll be all ‘oh, can I come over’ and I’ll be like ‘sure, don’t mind the ants.’ And then I’ll have alienated another person! That would be better and would make him feel better about what he did. Even the knowledge that he was killing bugs sapped the fun out of his hobby. Of course, that same hobby would also guarantee his adulthood was as lonely as his teenage years, so maybe…
“Gah!” Caleb cried, and kicked a rock at the bluff. It was stupid and childish, but it helped with the frustration. He leapt to the side to avoid the rebound.
He needn’t have bothered. The rock went straight through the vines instead of plinking off the bluff. Caleb froze, then slowly started inching toward the barrier. Is that a...cave? He reached out, brushing some vines away, only to reveal a cave on the side of the cliff. It went back a good twenty or thirty feet in a crevice easily large enough for him to walk through before vanishing into darkness.
Bet I could find something new in there. He groaned. Because amateur spelunking has such a high success rate. That can’t possibly go wrong. Oh, wait, I’m thinking of...actually, I don’t know anything where amateur is a good thing.
Ignoring the warnings of his own hindbrain, something he was exceptionally good at, Caleb flipped on his flashlight. While he wasn’t a big fan of being a scout, their motto of “Be Prepared” had stuck with him more firmly than he cared to admit. Summoning his courage, he headed inside.
The cave was large enough for him to walk upright, at least. I wonder if anyone’s ever even been in here before? It was possible he was the first human to ever notice this cave hiding behind the vines, that his were the first human footsteps in this cave. Who knew what could be ahead? Hell, if it went deep enough, he might discover an entirely new species - cave ecologies were often very isolated from the rest of the world.
That thought overrode the lingering fears of going spelunking alone, and Caleb pushed ahead. To his relief, the cave didn’t really branch off anywhere, so there was only a miniscule risk he’d find himself wandering in circles. It wasn’t long until he was plunged entirely into darkness aside from his flashlight.
“You have now left the domain of the sun,” Caleb said in his best announcer voice. He’d heard that line from…was it a webcomic? Or a blog? He couldn’t remember, and that train of thought was derailed as his heart started to beat faster. The primal fear of the dark still clung to him, and he wasn’t as certain as he’d been at the outset that this was a good idea. Given he’d been fairly certain this was a terrible idea, that was saying something. Just as he was about to turn around, he saw it.
It looked like an ant, but it wasn’t like any ant Caleb had seen before. It was large, nearly a foot from mandibles to thorax, and too brightly colored to be a normal cave dweller with its exoskeleton covered in gold and black swirls. Its eyes were wrong, too, looking more like something you’d see on a mammal than on an insect. It should have been frightening, but somehow, it was oddly cute. The gentle eyes, the way it moved awkwardly, like it was a newborn that hadn’t quite grown into its legs...it had an overall appearance of helplessness. It looked up at Caleb and chirped curiously.
Holy crap. “Well, hello there,” Caleb said. “What are you?”
The strange ant chirped again. I have to catch it. It was too big for his glass jar, but that didn’t matter. It also didn’t matter that his dad would refuse to let Caleb bring it back alive. Caleb would find a way, damn it. This wasn’t just a new species, this was an insect that shouldn’t be possible. Ants didn’t get this big, and certainly not in caves. Caleb reached out a tentative hand.
What the hell are you doing? he thought. He knew nothing about the thing. It could be venomous. It could be dangerous. It was a wild animal, and he was trying to pet it?
Much to his surprise, the ant didn’t recoil from his hand or lunge at it. Instead, it studied it curiously, then rolled over on its back and began to wave its legs in the air like a cat trying to get attention, chirping happily.
Screw it. Caleb ran his fingers over the thing’s belly. It made a sound halfway between a chirp and a purr, almost like a trill. “Oh my God, I have to find a way to keep you. What do you eat?”
Not that he expected the ant to answer. He didn’t expect the ant to respond at all, besides continuing to make happy little trills as Caleb gave it a belly rub. Its exoskeleton was softer than he expected, covered with fine hairs that probably served to keep off water but also made it unimaginably soft. Already Caleb wasn’t thinking about the enormity of the discovery, he was thinking about taking it for walks around the block, or letting it chase a laser pointer.
Then, abruptly, the ant fell silent and righted itself. It hissed in Caleb’s direction.
He froze, shying back and running his hand through his own hair.. “Woah? What’s wrong? Too many tummy rubs?”
And then he realized the ant wasn’t staring at him. It was staring over his shoulder.
Caleb spun, whipping the flashlight around, and came face to face with an oncoming monstrosity. It was a bipedal insect creature with four limbs, nearly as tall as Caleb was. The upper limbs ended in vicious stingers, and the lower limbs had grasping pincers. Instead of mandibles, it had tentacles growing from under its six beady eyes.
That flashlight saved Caleb’s life. The creature shied back, its eyes glowing in the brilliant light.. The ant screeched and began to run deeper into the cave. That seemed smart. Panicked by the monstrosity, Caleb followed.
This isn’t happening. The sound of Caleb’s feet pounding against the floor of the cave filled his ears. His heartbeat joined the sound, and the light swung wildly. He was gaining on the ant. A surge of adrenaline hit, and Caleb reached down to scoop it up. The ant trilled in confusion, and lacking anything else to do, Caleb put it on his head without breaking stride. He kept running, the ant now turning behind him and shrieking more and more. It's gaining on us! Caleb could almost imagine it saying.
Then the light ahead grew bright. Without warning, he was back out into the forest, into the sun.
The monstrosity skidded to a halt near the entrance of the cave, waving its tentacles and roaring but refusing to enter the sunlight. Caleb was fine with that. Caleb was fine with doing nothing but running at a breakneck pace, his new friend sitting on his head and now trilling in defiance. Darting forward, he wove in and out of the trees, turning to avoid tripping over rocks. At one point, his vision a fog of panic, he was thought he jumped a stream.
It wasn’t until his lungs started to burn that Caleb started to slow down. A few steps later, he dropped to the forest floor, panting.
After a few minutes of gasping, he took stock of his surroundings. With dawning horror, four realizations hit him. The first was that he’d somehow run through a bluff that stretched for a hundred miles in less than a day. The second was that the trees didn’t look like anything native to Earth, let alone Missouri. That alien impression was greatly aided by the fact that there were two suns overhead, one red and one yellow, which was number three. Multiple suns were kind of a big one. Finally, and most importantly, he had completely lost track of where he was in relation to the cave.
Panic seized him, and Caleb plucked the ant off his head with shaking hands and held it across his knees, on its back. It came to Caleb so naturally that he didn’t even think about the fact that his panic response was to cuddle a strange animal until after he had. The ant looked up at him with eyes full of warmth and gratitude. “Where the hell am I?” he asked.
In response, the ant started to purr.
Chapter 2
After a bit, the ant began to struggle. “I can’t just keep calling you ‘the ant,” Caleb said to it as he put it down. The ant looked up at him and clacked its mandibles. “Hmm. Don’t know if you’re a girl and or a boy ant. Although if you’re eusocial, those terms probably don’t matter anyway. You’re not a queen or you’d be in your hive, so...are you a soldier? Or a worker?”
Maybe it was Caleb’s imagination, but the ant seemed to be happier with the word soldier. That’s probably just wishful thinking. You need to get your priorities in order, man. You’re in a world with two suns, you should be flipping out right now! And yet, he felt strangely calm. Maybe it was just because the whole thing was so surreal. Or maybe it was just because he expected at any moment to wake up back in his tent with the story of a crazy dream. Or maybe you’ve just snapped, and any moment now you’re going to realize you’re completely barking mad. Caleb shook his head. If he was dreaming or crazy, there was no point trying to figure it out. Either he’d wake up, or he’d be put in a nice padded room and given pills until he could see things normally. “How about Antoinette?” he said.
The Ant - Antoinette - began to bob its head and marched over to Caleb’s hand, pressing its head against his palm until he started to scratch it. Might as well think of you as a she, he thought. Giving her a name seemed to have done the trick, and Antoinette was now trilling and purring happily against his hand. “So, Antoinette, don’t suppose you know if I’ve gone crazy or anything, do you?”
Antoinette was not particularly eager to respond. After some time scratching and spacing out, Caleb shook his head. “If this is all real, I have to start thinking of what comes next,” he said to Antoinette. “C’mon girl, let’s get moving.” As soon as Caleb stood, Antoinette reared onto her hind legs. Smiling, Caleb scooped her up and put her on his shoulder. Even though she was nearly as long as a cat, she weighed about half as much. That, plus the long years of scouts giving Caleb at least some muscles to work with, meant she could stay on his shoulder easily. “Okay. Let’s go back and see if that thing is gone from the cave, right?”
Immediately Antoinette’s demeanor changed. She began to shiver and rubbed against his cheek. “You can’t possibly understand me,” Caleb said. Antoinette continued to shiver and rub, and Caleb decided it had to be his imagination. Even if Antoinette seemed to be more along the lines of a small mammal in terms of intelligence than an ant, there was no way she had the intelligence of a human - and even if she did, she couldn’t speak or understand English. She was probably just picking up on his nerves over returning. As he turned to retrace his steps, he reached up and began to stroke her back. “Don’t worry. If it’s still there, I won’t be going anywhere near it.”
Antoinette’s shivers seemed to subside. “Totally a coincidence,” Caleb said with a nervous chuckle. “No way you understand anything I’m saying.”
The look she sent his way could easily be called reproachful.
The trees here really weren’t like anything he’d ever seen before. They towered over his head, looking more like giant, single ferns than they did like trees. There weren’t any visible roots, they all just shot out of the ground. At the top they branched oddly, feathering into individual strands that were covered with tiny leaves that grew away from the rest of the body of the plant, maximizing the sunlight its green blade could get. It was a relief to see those tiny leaves on the trees though - up until then, between that and the giant ant, he was beginning to worry he’d somehow been shrunk and was walking among giant blades of grass.
As soon as he had the thought, he couldn’t quite shake it, but too many other things were wrong for that to be the case. The dirt was still normal sized, not huge chunks like they would be if he’d shrunk coming over here, and there weren’t any obvious giant landmarks to indicate he was tiny. Still, it was a strange feeling, and he was relieved when he found the stream from earlier. That had to be normal sized. Water wouldn’t flow with that kind of babble if it was shrunk down, not unless it was hundreds of feet wide from his perspective.
The relief was almost immediately quashed when he realized that he didn’t recognize this part of the stream at all. He hadn’t exactly been taking in the scenery, but he still had expected to at least recognize something. Unfortunately, nothing about this part of where he was looked even remotely familiar. He grimaced. “Is this where we were?” he said aloud.
Antoinette trilled, an almost sad sound. It was like she was saying “I have no idea, you think I was paying attention?” Caleb had to laugh at himself. Already he was assigning actual full sentences to Antoinette. “Okay, well, rule one,” Caleb told her. “Head downstream. It will take me to somewhere eventually, and hopefully that somewhere will include someone who has the faintest idea what the hell is going on and how I can get back to the cave.”
Resolution made, he started to walk in that direction. It was a beautiful day here in...wherever this was, and thus far - joy upon joys - he hadn’t seen a single mosquito. As long as he was stuck in this weird dream or psychotic break or whatever was going on, he was going to enjoy it. He did see a few more traditional insects climbing along the fern-trees he’d marveled at before, which was nice. It helped him feel less like he was tiny walking in a giant world. As much as he wanted to, he resisted the urge to peer down for a closer look at them. Right now they were tiny specs climbing along in rows, and if he didn’t look too closely he could tell himself they were just normal ants. The moment he did, he was certain he’d notice things that would mark them of nothing from Earth, and that idea straight up terrified him.
“Yes, that’s right,” he said to the foot-long ant on his shoulder. “The terrifying thought is the insects here might be different. Crap on a stick, I am going insane.”
There was definitely a spring in his step as he walked, but not from how happy he was feeling. It was like every step carried a little bit...extra. It added to the surreal quality of everything. He’d noticed it before when he’d been running down the hill, but now that he was fully aware of how he was moving and a bit less panicked, he could really feel it. “Oh yeah,” he said. “Definitely dreaming.”
And since this is a dream... He reached up and carefully pried Antoinette from his shoulder. She chirruped in confusion. “Don’t worry, girl,” he said, placing her on the ground. “I’ll be right back. I just want to test something.”
Antoinette cocked her head at him, and Caleb grinned. Then, tensing up his legs, he kicked off the ground.
And went sailing through the air. “Oh my God!” he shouted. He’d had a decent high jump before, but this...it took him nearly ten feet into the air. He whooped in excitement and pumped his fist as he reached the apex of his jump. He could see over the fern trees! He could see smoke in the direction he was walking! He could see...he could see a bird.
It wasn’t like any bird he’d ever imagined. It was soaring through the air like a hawk, but its feathers were red and blue, and its face was more like a reptile’s than a bird’s. It looked almost like an archeopteryx, but without the claws on its wings, and with three massive feathers streaming out behind it. It wheeled in the air. It was beautiful.
Then gravity reminded him that, while he could jump high, he wasn’t able to fly. Caleb began to fall. The fall was faster than it should have been, given his leap. It felt like he was falling in normal gravity. Okay, this is it. I fall, and right before I hit the ground, I wake-
The thought was cut off when he slammed into the dirt beneath him. The impact drove the air from his lungs, which was the only thing that spared him from crying out in pain. He tasted blood, and his vision was obscured by black spots. Caleb could only whimper. He collapsed to the ground in a heap. What little of his brain was still working confirmed that he hadn't actually shattered his legs. The rest of it just screamed in pain. This isn’t a dream. That was now painfully clear. Dreams couldn’t possibly hurt this badly.
Antoinette walked up to him and nudged him with her mandibles. When he didn’t respond right away, she climbed onto his chest and began that rumbling trill. Caleb could only wheeze as he tried to catch his breath. Antoinette studied him, and a long tongue raced out of her mouth to lick his forehead. “Thanks,” he managed to grunt, glad she was so much lighter than a cat - otherwise she’d be crushing his chest. “No, really.”
It took him a few more minutes to stand again, and only when he was able to was he certain he hadn’t broken any bones. He took a few deep breaths, feeling an ache across his entire back. “I saw some smoke ahead,” he said to Antoinette, who was clawing at his leg. “I really hope that’s a town, and that they can help. And also that they have painkillers. I’d kill someone for some painkillers.”
Antoinette clacked her mandibles.
“No, I mean, it would have to be someone I didn’t like!”
Antoinette kept clawing his jeans and Caleb shook his head. “Mind walking alongside me for a bit? I need...I need a new back. And legs. Really just a new body. Phew. Give me some time to recover.”
Antoinette stopped clawing and trilled sadly. Again, Caleb was struck with the distinct impression she could understand him. But that doesn’t make sense, he thought. There’s no way she could. It’s just...insane.
“You there!”
The sudden shout nearly made Caleb scream, and he whirled to face the speaker. Antoinette did as well, hissing.
“You need to step away from the Kralant. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
The man was wearing something that looked like a military uniform from the eighteen hundreds, black and red with buttons that pinned up far on the left side of his body. He wore a cap that matched the color of his suit, and he stood with a rigid formality. For all that, he looked like he couldn’t be much older than Caleb.
More interestingly, however, the bird Caleb had seen earlier was perched on his shoulder. “You...want me to move away from Antoinette?” Caleb asked, trying to register what he was seeing.
“You...named it?” the soldier said, sounding incredulous. The bird on his shoulder peered at Antoinette hungrily, and Antoinette clacked her mandibles and hissed. She showed none of the fear she had towards the monstrosity in the cave. The soldier only frowned. “Who are you?”
“Caleb,” Caleb said, narrowing his eyes. “Who are you?”
“I am Ruzo, First Private of the Darkhold Omal. This is Silv.” The bird chirped at its name, although it didn’t take its eyes off Antoinette.
“I’m sorry, you called Antoinette a Kralant and seemed surprised I named her. Is Silv its name, or is it it's species?”
“He,” Ruzo said, stressing the word, “is a Silvtherix. I named him Silv.”
“Wow, very original name there.” Caleb couldn’t help himself. Something about Ruzo’s attitude was rubbing him the wrong way. It was his imperious demeanor, like he owned the place. Who the hell does he think he is?
“Says the boy who named a Kralant Antoinette,” Ruzo said, although he flushed a bit at mockery. “I need you to come with me, Caleb. These woods are forbidden. I thought you’d just gotten lost, but since you’re a Tamer...clearly you’re in violation of the Treaty. Put your hands behind your back.”
“Okay, first of all, working Antoinette’s species into her name is a brilliant pun. I didn’t just chop off part of the name and call it good. Second of all - put my hands behind my back?” Caleb asked. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
“First private of the Darkhold Omal,” Ruzo said, repeating his earlier words and with the same drilled in efficiency. “Who do you serve, Caleb?”
“Oh. Uh. Well...I’m with Troop One-Eighteen,” Caleb said, uncertain what else to say. “Boy Scouts, United States of America. And, private, I’m a Life Scout. So, yeah. Shove that up your craphole and spin on it.”
It was pretty clear that Ruzo had no idea what anything else Caleb said meant, but his eyes narrowed at the last sentence. “I don’t know who you serve. But clearly, someone needs to teach you manners.” He swung out his arm. “Silv! Attack!”
With a shriek that put a chill into Caleb’s bones, Silv took to the air.
In response, Antoinette let out a hiss of challenge.
Oh you’ve got to be kidding me, Caleb thought, squaring up.
I’ve definitely gone insane. But the pain in his back reminded him that insanity was much less certain than he’d previously believed. He could be absolutely certain of one thing, however - he had no idea what he was doing.
Silv shrieked as he swooped through the air, diving for Antoinette. Caleb couldn’t help but notice how dangerously curved those talons were, each ending in wicked barbs. It looked like they could tear through flesh like razorblades. “Antoinette, do...something!” Caleb shouted in panic.
As soon as the words left his lips, he felt something. It was almost like a tug on his skin, but it was a strange and alien feeling. Like part of him had been yanked away. Antoinette leapt to the side, snapping her mandibles. Silv passed through the space she had just vacated, his talons clutching only empty air. Confidence flashed through Ruzo’s eyes. “Do something? That’s the best you have? Silv is going to tear your Kralant apart.”
Caleb’s heart started to pound. In the games, the monsters would always faint at the end of fights, then there would be a heroic rush to town and the monster would be cured. Looking at those talons, it was hard to imagine this fight would be that harmless. “Antoinette, do something ranged this time!” Caleb said, frantically going through his pockets. That strange tug happened again, but Caleb ignored it. He needed to help.
A meme he’d seen the other day on his phone flashed through his mind as he frantically patted his pockets, modified for his current situation. “I’ve had Antoinette for only half a day, but if anything happens to her I’d kill everyone in this field and then myself.” Really, Caleb? You’re watching a pair of monsters fighting for their lives and the best you have are memes and vague commands? It’s not like he could do much else. He didn’t really have any kind of weapons on him. A simple Swiss army knife, too small to be used for actually fighting anyone. Not that he had any idea if he could actually bring himself to stab Ruzo. The guy was an ass, but Caleb had never hurt a fly.
Well. Metaphorically speaking. He’d squished plenty of flies in his day.
Besides that, he didn’t have much else. A can of bug spray. Some twine. A granola bar, still in its wrapper. A zippo lighter. A...wait, that’s it. Caleb looked back up to the fight as he pulled four of the items out of his pocket, trying desperately to get his hands shaking at another terrifying scream from Silv.
Silv was circling the fight, staring down at Antoinette with eyes full of fury. Ruzo was watching Caleb with a curious expression, as if he were trying to figure out what kind of stupid thing Caleb was going to do next. Oh, if you had any idea how stupid I was about to be, you’d be...very...uh...shocked? Antoinette was on the ground, watching Silv carefully.
“Now!” Ruzo shouted.
Silv screamed and dove towards Antoinette. The Kralant had never seemed so small before, but she held her ground, her mandibles pointing towards the sky.
Then, the moment Silv got close, Antoinette let loose a spray. It was white and stringy, almost like spider silk. Silv flapped his wings hard, letting a gust of air blow the strands away. Where they touched the dirt they sizzled like acid. Caleb’s eyes widened. “Holy crap, what was that?”
Antoinette trilled happily and rose up on her hind legs, letting loose another barrage of caustic strands. Silv took to the air, getting out of range, and screeched in fury at having its attack interrupted. “You really don’t know?” Ruzo said, his eyes hard. “You’re an absolute moron, aren’t you?”
“Yeah? Well, would a moron be doing this?” Caleb responded. It wasn’t exactly the witty repartee he’d been hoping for. With the distraction the battle had provided him, he’d managed to tie the zippo around the bug spray and held up his prize.
“...it seems one would,” Ruzo said, his forehead creasing. “What the hell is that supposed to be?”
Silv dove down towards Antoinette again, banking to dodge the spray of acidic webbings. In response, Caleb flicked the zippo opened and stepped forward. A small flame sprang to life, and Ruzo’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?” he shouted. Caleb ignored it. He pressed down on the top of the bug spray.
The fine mist met the flame of the zippo and flamed to life. Silv screeched in sudden fear and pulled back, still several yards from reaching Antoinette. Antoinette whipped her head around and gave Caleb a curious chirp. “That’s right!” Caleb shouted, pointed the improvised weapon at Ruzo. “You think you’re going to hurt Antoinette? I will literally set you on fire.”
Ruzo’s eyes were wide, and Silv flew over to his outstretched arm, landing on it like it was a tree branch. The massive bird looked like it shouldn’t be something Ruzo could hold, but his arm never wavered. “You...are an Artificer? I should have known…” he trailed off, studying Caleb up and down.
“Yeah, that’s right. I’m an Artificer,” Caleb said, hoping the term was descriptive enough to be able to fake what he thought it meant. “I just built a flamethrower. Back down, buddy, or I swear to God I’m going to set you up like a cheap firework.”
Of course, it was a total bluff. Ruzo was a good fifteen feet away. The flame from this thing could go a foot, max. If Ruzo called him on it, Caleb would find himself having to reveal the limits of his homemade weapon very, very quickly. And when he did, what would happen? Would Ruzo send that damn bird after Antoinette again? Or would he send Silv straight after Caleb, trying to tear out his eyes?
Oh man. This is really, really looking bad for me.
“I’m surprised, Artificer,” Ruzo said, reaching up to stroke Silv under the beak. The bird leaned into the touch and chirped. “Entering the battle so early? You must have something serious you’re hiding. Something the Darkhold Olam will want to know. Well, if you wish to make this a test of that…” Silv began to crawl up his arm until their heads were butting together. “I’ll be more than happy to oblige.”
“Yo, you’re talking a pretty big game for someone who’s about to get his ass set on fire,” Caleb said, but the brave words couldn’t stop the tremor in his hands. “Why don’t you stop what you’re doing and go away? I don’t want to hurt you.”
Ruzo laughed, a mocking sound, as Silv began to work around to his back. The bird started to wrap wings around Ruzo’s face, and the spots on his wings matched up perfectly with Ruzo’s eyes. “Don’t worry about that, little Artificer. I promise, I’m in absolutely no danger.”
Their forms began to glow. Caleb took a step back, reflexively pressing down on the button for the bug spray. The flame seemed almost dark when compared to the immense light pouring out both soldier and monster as they began to rise into the air. “Antoinette?” Caleb said, shaking so badly he thought he might fall over. “I think I’d like to wake up now.”
Antoinette cooed in a sound that trembled with fear.
The glow vanished. Ruzo was gone. So was Silv. In their place was a single being, one that combined traits of both monster and man. Ruzo’s hair was now the bright feathers of the bird, his hands and feet ended in the wicked talons that the bird had shown in its diving sweeps at Antoinette, and two immense wings jutted from his back. Worst of all were the eyes, however. Ruzo’s normal two human eyes peered out at Caleb, but above those were the exact same eyes that had adorned Silv’s head. “So that is your flame, little man?” Ruzo said, and his voice had an odd quality to it, some kind of echo, like it was being spoken through two mouths. “I thought you Artificers claimed you could match am Tamer’s power. Looks like you’re just another worm.”
“Uh…shit,” Caleb said, looking down at Antoinette. “Do you know how to do that?”
This time there was no imagining it. Antoinette shook her head, and there was real fear in her eyes.
“Yeah, me either.” Caleb dropped to one knee and held out a hand. “Get on.”
Antoinette leaped onto Caleb’s arm and wrapped her legs around as Ruzo took to the air.
“So, Artificer,” Ruzo said, every word laced with mockery. “What will you do now?”
Fortunately, for the first time since he’d arrived here, Caleb knew exactly what to do.
Screaming in fear, Caleb turned and ran away from the four-eyed taloned bird-human hybrid that was rising into the sky. And as he did, the small part of his mind that couldn’t stop from being sarcastic even now couldn’t help but point out that it was totally unfair – none of the games allowed you to do that. Where’s the overly drawn out tutorial when you really need it?
Want to read more? Why not pick it up now?
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And if you want to see more of my work, you can do so at /hydrael_writes

JoJo's Bizarre OC Tournament #5: Round 2 Match 8 - Arpeggi and Agnes Versus Glitch and William

The results are in for Match 6. The winner is…
Player Team, with a score of 83 to Ernie Ford’s 62!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	Players	25-5
Quality	TIE	24-24	Reasoning
JoJolity	Players	24-23	Reasoning
Conduct	TEAM	10-10

...“You know what I'm here for!” Effie’s words rang out as Ernie watched on at the unexpected turn of events.
“The funny thing is I really don’t know.” Ernie stood there and took in the scene. Was this the first time he had seen this type of outburst in the District? Ernie tried to recall, but now wasn’t really the time to reminisce on bad memories.
Something was afoot. Something about Ugo threatening them that was for sure. But if Ugo wanted somebody to fight him this would never be his plan of attack. “Would you care to enlighten me then, I wouldn’t mind this either way!” Ernie shouted back, his tone was neutral, the tension of the situation only increased, but he didn’t see a need to fight back even now.
“They sent us here, because they wanted us to steal your notebook!” Ernie heard the voice of Jenny behind a tree.
Things started to make sense to Ernie, the hiding, why it wasn’t Odin’s people doing this, and that outburst. “And what do you two intend to do?” Ernie moved his backpack from his back to carrying it on one arm.
“Well if you help us, you could send them a fake notebook! It’s not like we like those fuckers anyways!” Jenny replied beyond the trees.
Well that wasn’t so difficult was it, it only took one or maybe both of their ire to get to this arrangement. Ernie weighed this against the prospect that they were lying to him, but if it came down to it it would just be either a fight now or a fight later. “Alright I’ll help you! I’ll be in my cabin manuscripting! You two wait outside, this will take less than an hour!” Ernie shouted back over as he started to walk back to his cabin.
“Your funeral..wait what?!” Effie flipped as Jenny clapped an arm on her, “We did it, we can get out of this shitty situation.”
Effie looked around, The Murder receded back into herself. “Did that really just happen?” She held out the hope that it really would be that easy, she wanted to believe it but she felt a slight pang of confusion, guilt maybe?
Jenny continued on, “We just have to make sure that he does his end of the deal and we’ll be out of here in no time.” Jenny looked at Effie’s face as she noticed the change in expression, “You okay there? You let out a bunch just now and if you wanted to talk about it.”
“No I’m ok, come on we have to still keep an eye on him.” Effie brushed Jenny’s arm off and made her way closer into the clearing with Jenny following.
Well, that was somewhat anticlimactic. If you were hoping for a match with some more carnage in it, how about checking out a race out of a monster-filled urn and voting on it?
Scenario:
Sound’s Garden Eastern Strip - Heartache Casino VIP Room
“So kind of you all to come again,” a man dressed garishly in gold spoke to a roomful of wealthy highrollers, a lounge area with a wall taken up by a screen large enough to make the place double as something of a particularly cozy home theater, a setup which had typically been reserved for two things: watching games organized by Heartache Casino’s owner on the closed-circuits of buildings he owned, and being rented out for private parties and banquets.
“This is pretty unconventional,” a dark-haired sniper remarked between drinks, staring at the screen as it showed, largely, several shots of a building in Downtown Los Fortuna, which seemed to have rapidly grown occupied by a small group of Stand Users, some of whom familiar to the district’s regulars after some close shaves in the subways both occupied, “but it’s brilliant… Just needed to get your tech guy to get cameras in there, now you have a huge show for free.”
“Should you be drinking, Seido?” The gold-clad owner asked, raising an eyebrow, “I mean, if something comes up…”
“If something comes up, I’m off-duty, I’m just a guest right now, and I can shoot well enough sloshed to get myself out of a bind. If you wanted me as security, you should’ve hired me for that… Though really, I’d have rather been down there raising some hell if I was gonna shoot things.”
Tigran sighed, finding that fair enough, he supposed… He wasn’t going to hire this man when he was buzzed, and he wouldn’t do guard detail for free either. Apparently, the man literally came to the city walking out of a bar into the flag unveiling, so he shouldn’t have been surprised.
Still, though, even with moods high here, nobody seeming to mind the way anonymous characters like Oh No and Conqueror Worm mingled among them. Sure, they were kind of a low-priority target right now, with protests in the Business district, the hell-on-earth about to be unleashed Downtown keeping their worst nightmares busy, and the usual BS in places like the Waterfront and Industrial, but the man once noted for his supremely smarmy overconfidence had been feeling more anxious lately, probably because the Entertainment District’s criminal underground had taken some losses recently.
Things were riding high with several successful games, and the arrival of Conqueror Worm, revitalizing everything that they had thought they’d known and opening up whole new possibilities of what games might be possible to organize from a place of safety, all while not asking for a penny of payment. He was a weird guy, but a valuable asset, and all that was understood to be asked in return was that they pretend not to know exactly who it was underneath that big fleshy suit.
And then, the next time they had an in-person event, a bunch of them died in a fire, and on the way to… Well, who knew why he was there, but something happened that got a formerly active manager and ‘game’ organizer murdered blocks away from the site of the flames. Was it a sign, then, that the old ways really were dying, that they needed to change with the times or lose this subculture of theirs entirely?
Maybe, and maybe some would leave it like that, but Tigran “Golden” Sins knew another source of common ground with every one of their games to go wrong, to go awry, to risk the future and safety of all that they were, all that they had. Everything (besides that time he got punched in the face) that had gone wrong, from Thutmose leaving them, to events that were supposed to be disastrous bloodbaths going well for the ‘players’ and ruining bets, could trace back somewhere.
And she was sitting there looking very disinterested, nursing a sparkling juice in a very expensive evening dress and earrings, recently bought by the only man in the world he believed to be above himself.
“Having a good time, Metra?” Fox asked the star known to much of the city as TD/MD, smiling smoothly and paying her more attention than the event itself, where he was significantly more public than before. He’d spent how many thousands on her in a few days?
“Sure, yeah,” she answered, with a clear disinterest and foul mood.
“I understand if you’re not… we’re all sorry to have lost Thutmose. Most likely by where he was, whoever killed him would have done the same to us had he not interfered. So he would want you to have a good time, right?”
“Alright, everyone, last calls!” Conqueror Worm called out, many eyes looking all over. After getting back from camera work, he’d volunteered to handle bets, on account of his utter disinterest in profiting from his work there. Damn shame, honestly; Tigran loved that weird golden Stand-hurting sword he’d always been swinging around, and something belonging to a regional founder would be a hell of a get to wear around. “We know all the key players in that little downtown scuffle, so let’s hear it! Who’s biting it? Who’s comin’ out? Who’s gonna have the highest bodycount? Is anyone even gonna get IN?”
That Oh No guy, from the Institute, spoke up through that voice changer he almost always had on in his coverings. “I think that… Three people will manage to find their way inside. Nobody on this betting board.”
“Ooh, bold words from our boldest regular!” Worm leaned in close, asking, “how much’re you puttin’ on that?”
“Nothing,” No responded, “I just want to see what comes of it… I’m almost disappointed you needed to ask.”
Peas in a pod, those two. Tigran sighed, figuring he might need to drink through these proceedings, only to glance at Metra, suddenly, seeming to smirk, ears twitching as if that special pitch of hers had picked something up. “What? What’s so fun now, that-”
The heavily reinforced, hidden doorway to the VIP room burst open, bisecting the hollow yet burly door guard as sand and rocks spilled out of its hollow crevasse, the only herald within seconds of a quintet of Stand Users barreling in, led by a trio on two motorbikes as two others, curious but energetic, followed.
“All that you’ve done ends here, Fox!”
Around the same time, Heartache Casino Public Floors
“Uh… Glitch? I think… it might be good if we… go?” William Eyelash was not liking it here very much. His hyperactive coworker and teammate had practically dragged him here after what was otherwise a simple delivery performed in place of Zebra, who had been busy enough delivering food to the other side of the city. William was the one supposed to carry it out, but Glitch had practically jumped at the opportunity to do so.
Glitch herself, meanwhile, seemed to be very content eating some fries which she (very regrettably) had to actually buy instead of simply snatching it away from a poor, unaware bystander, and had already ordered another plate because they were just that good. Security was too tight, somewhat on edge - the moment she got close to someone or something, they immediately turned their attention to her. Still, she didn’t want to deprive herself of one of the many pleasures of life like that, so she didn’t mind paying too much. “Mmrgh..? Why sho?”
“W- well… you know… uh...” William wasn’t sure how to say it - he was scared enough of Glitch’s erratic mannerisms most days, and that was while he tried to steer clear of her. Were he to directly oppose her, he’d have no way of knowing what she’d do! On top of that, he couldn’t help but notice that she seemed slightly… on edge. She was usually hyperactive, but she seemed to be even more eager to jump from one thing to another recently, and to ignore anything that even slightly stressed her out. Considering everything that happened to the staff at the Elephant Bones recently, it made sense for her to be stressed, even if she didn’t really show it usually. “... um, you know the rumors about this place… right? ”
Glitch turned to look at William, tilting her head “Hm? What rumors?”. “Uh... well… about the ED… and the fighting rings… I saw an article about it on the Hermod, and… i- it could be dangerous to be here for too long...” hearing William say that, Glitch seemed to recede for a bit, thinking to herself. “Mmm... well, it hasn’t been a problem yet! Right? Besides, the other chips haven’t arrived yet!” Glitch didn’t want to think much about it - so long as these fighting rings were away from her, she could just ignore them and go on with her life, but if it really was here, then maybe it would be good to avoid this place… but the fries were so good... Glitch took another look at the table she was sitting at and at the plate of fries she’d ordered. She grabbed a handful and ate them. “Mmm… after the second order of chips comes! Then we leave! But only after then!”
“Alright...” William didn’t like this very much, and he couldn’t help but shoot nervous glances around as Glitch finished up. Just about every staff member here was on edge and uncomfortable - he knew how to notice these things, and it would make sense if this place really was connected to the underground. Ugh… Why did he come along with Glitch? He’d just have to hope that the second order would come soon, and then they’d be able leave just as quickly as they came in.
Naturally, as if fate itself had conspired to screw him over, he couldn’t help but pick up on ‘something’. Guards around the floor peered nervously into their phones, and most of them began rushing towards the stairwell. Glitch had noticed as well, her ears picking up on the nervous murmurings of the guards and their hasty footsteps.
“Uhh… G- Glitch, something’s happening, we should-” “Pleh! Can’t you wait just a second! The chips aren’t here yet! This isn’t-”
Before Glitch could finish her sentence, something flew into the room - the body of a security officer, clearly tossed away by some stand, flew from the entrance to the second floor, and landed right in the middle of a group of more security officers.
“Oh god oh god it’s happening oh no oh no oh no oh-” William was, as expected, positively freaking out by now. Meanwhile, Glitch was keeping her ears peeled out, having picked up on something… interesting. The voice of two people she vaguely recognized from “Taste of Fortuna” a month or so back.
“Hey! That’s Agnes! And that other chef whose food is good! Even better than the chips!! What are they doing here, fighting?!”
Soon enough, Agnes and Arpeggi really did pop into the room, their stands summoned as they staved off some guards with them. Much to William’s chagrin, Glitch grabbed onto his hand and summoned [Vida Loca], before hopping onto it, the massive feline hoisting him onto it as well, before running right towards the source of the commotion…
And right into the footpath of a terrifying giant who seemed to suddenly fall from the ceiling, several eyes along its body looking to them as its head rotated 180 degrees. “Well, wouldn’t you like to know?”
Several minutes earlier, A Few Stories Lower - Sound’s Garden Abandoned Subway
“Are you sure this is the place? Seems pretty fucking trashy to me, honestly…”
“That’s what makes it a secret passage, Agnes… They’re not exactly rolling out the red carpet to tell you how to get there.”
“Ugh, Astronomia wasn’t built for this shit. You’re paying if something gets stuck somewhere.”
“You’ve crashed it how many times this month alone?”
Arpeggi Osso Buco sat in the sidecar of a motorbike driven by one Ananas “Agnes” Bayley, through the abandoned subways of the Eastern strip. He’d meant to take this trip alone, like he had before, but of course, this fucking guy had to be the first on the team to learn that he was a Stand User, an active vigilante, and not only in part responsible for a certain cult’s influence plummeting to nothing in Los Fortuna, but had dedicated himself to making an enemy of the blight of the Entertainment District.
“Fuck it, I’m down.”
“You’re… What?”
“I’m down. Fuck those guys. I don’t even need to ask any more questions, they’re an absolute disgrace to be shown up by a real villain, and if you’re hunting their boss down, I’m with you.”
“You are the last person I would want watching my back in a-”
“Or I can tell Gabanna what you’re doing so soon after getting SHOT last time you tried your luck with these guys.”
“…bastard. Okay, just don’t get in the way.”
Minus a near-scare with RCR’s nightmarish train nearly running them down without noticing, and Arpeggi having to explain at some point that it was both private information from a set of informants and news now publicly printed in multiple sources about the higher-ups of this organization, it had mostly gone smoothly since then.
As they drove closer to the underside of Heartache, Arpeggi signaled for Agnes to stop, noting a destroyed set of hollowed-out mannequins of sorts, smoking and smelling like gunpowder.
“Hell is that?” Agnes asked, looking down, but Arpeggi, in turn, didn’t quite seem surprised. Before he could explain, however, another, distorted voice cut through.
“You’re late.”
The revving of a second motorcycle, a sport bike, had quietly synced with Astronomia, and the pair looked up to see a figure clad in orange and black, winglike scarf drooping upside-down, its rider atop the ceiling of the tunnel.
“You.” Agnes spoke with contempt, despite having never seen the Black Angel in person before, only for them and their bike to drop down right in front of them, flipping in midair to land gracefully.
“You didn’t tell me you were bringing a friend, let alone… Him.” The Angel sounded dubious about Agnes’ presence, adding, “since you took time picking him up, I’ve had to start picking off these weird… hollow doll-guards myself. They almost noticed me in time to signal the boss. I really don’t have the time for this today.”
“Sorry about that, he insisted,” Arpeggi wrote off, not wanting to explain the somewhat unsurprising (“ran into one another while doing their vigilante rounds, got to talking about the ED mainly”) story how he and the Angel met, “and he’s here right now… Say what you like about him, you saw that Being So Normal, I assume. He’ll be an asset.”
“I’ll kick your ass-et,” Agnes grumbled, “fighting them alone my ass. Ugh, teaming up with masked hero types like this… Pisses me off. We should be kicking each other’s asses, Angel.”
“Deal with it,” the Angel wrote off, before adding, “our contacts in there… They said basically everyone we might have any reason to get is on that floor with them, watching Downtown.”
“Right, some madman is acting out there,” Arpeggi noted, folding his arms and looking Westward, “I take it that’s why you’re in a hurry? You want to deal with them quickly and head out there next?”
“You got it,” they answered, “and admittedly, there’s a reason I had to come here first… Something I’m going to prioritize the highest, and if we take too long, I’ll have to leave having only done that.”
“You’ve got a grudge, is that it?” Agnes asked, “you wanna punt some fucker before moving on?”
“That’s… not why I’m targeting him,” The Angel noted, before adding, “that sword the Conqueror Worm always has on him… The ‘Sword of Sir Aurel…’ The future of the city might depend on me getting that Downtown. The contacts say he still has it with him, just like on that stream.”
“You’re pissing me off, pretending you don’t care about just one-upping that bastard,” Agnes chided, adding, “act like you’re ‘heroes of justice’ all you want… I’m doing this because these guys piss me the hell off, and seeing them fall will make me laugh. Do all of us a favor, cut the bullshit, and admit you’re gonna enjoy this, yeah?”
The others didn’t say too much more of note, then, beyond the Angel briefly examining Astronomia, putting something all over it that they claimed would ‘make it maneuver better,’ which Arpeggi had to calm Agnes into accepting, especially considering it meant they could ride up stairs with relative ease.
“Alright, from this secret passage, it’s a straight shot up a few flights of stairs to the VIP room… We should be able to burst it down without ever disrupting all the public patrons and fortifications up on 1F. Hold on tight, you got that?”
The motorbikes revved, then, and the Angel’s led Agnes in seeming to leap into the air, driving up and along the walls of the stairwell, before a long-haired figure emerged from the Angel, aiming something at a metal reinforced door, firing into it a few times, and it shifted in place as Pork Soda rushed towards it, placing a tab on the material before ripping it away, liquid metal blasting in the opposite direction the door would fly and swing at rapid speed, swinging like a deadly projectile and cutting more powerful puppet guards away as the three burst in.
Arpeggi called out, “All that you’ve done ends here, Fox!”
Not long after Arpeggi called that out, Fox himself, of course, was quick to stand, as were a few bold-looking members of the crowd, hurrying towards the fighters with his own accompanying doll-guard, small enough to hold in two hands and, with his large frame, swing like a hammer-thrower, lobbing up towards them and bursting open into a mess of pointed rocks as he drew closer, repelling Arpeggi’s immediate attempts to approach.
The swinging door, embedded with odd screws and still gushing metal soda, began to fly towards him, only for the sound of a rifle to fill the room, a single warping bullet putting out every one of the odd screws and careening it to strike Arpeggi back, sending him flying down the stairwell before either the Angel or Agnes could react.
Seido, sitting at his edge of the bar, finished downing his drink, holding his weapon in one hand and grinning a bit, slurring slightly, “thas’ goin’ on your tab, boss…”
Fox smirked, then, rocks and sand swirling around him and beating back the remaining attackers’ efforts to burst forward. “Let’s not fight up here, gentlemen… I’ve set this place up nice for a very special guest. Take it downstairs. Seido, consider yourself on the clock now.”
Worm, then, seemed to realize the Angel was staring at his movements, diving down into the floor below to the terror of the 1F patrons, and the rider hurriedly cut away from the clash, leaving Agnes to fend for himself against the rocky onslaught of Fox, all while Oh No watched and Seido, quickly, lined up another shot. Even on this upgraded bike, he knew the only response to make there. “Fffuck this!”
Pork Soda reached for Astronomia, a tab appearing on its wheel which, as the Stand weathered rocky blows, it pulled, blasting Agnes back into the stairwell, where he hit the wall with an, “oof!” before hopping off of his ride, which crashed and plummeted down as he abandoned it to slide down the railing, doing a cool combat roll to cover Arpeggi and the Angel as they rolled into the first floor, clearly concerned about what Conqueror Worm being there would mean for the patrons. Fox and others were shortly behind, with a certain exception.
Though nobody could hear it, by Metra Doria’s choice, as soon as Seido had spoken that aloud, she’d kicked up the chair she’d been sulking in all ‘party’ long, a pair of headphones appearing along her neck as a blast of sonic energy kicked it directly into the head of the hitman. Her heart skipped a beat, then, and she muttered under her breath, “shit, that actually worked… I got lucky, huh?”
“Entirely,” Oh No agreed, stepping forth himself and stretching, producing a very large, intimidating revolver from his cloak and beginning, idly, to load it, “but don’t treat that as a failing, TD/MD… You saw a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and you had the instincts to take it.” No closed the chamber, starting leisurely towards the stairs after the rest. “This is getting tiresome, isn’t it? You see it too, how dull this has gotten… What potential they’re wasting here. What do you say we speed along what’s been a long, long time coming?”
“Well, wouldn’t you like to know?”
A golden, shining sword appeared out of the giant’s gross hand, and his presence alone made Glitch want to wretch, the smell of the Conqueror Worm fell, and vibes even more rancid.
“We got two more troublemakers here, eh?” Worm asked her and William with an amused tone, “Hell just broke loose here, and you’re tryin’ to run headlong into it! I like that! I like that drive! So what do ya say? Attacka them!”
Glitch didn’t know this guy, but something about his gleeful nature, the way that William murmured to himself in alarm when he spoke those distorted words, made her hairs stand on end, made her want to hiss and immediately turn her attention to him, and it seemed, then, that Worm could sense this.
“Another one who ain’t a fan, huh?” He shook his head. “Disappointing, but typical.”
At that, he ducked into the floor, before attempting to burst out from underneath and drive his blade up into Vida Loca, barely being scraped before hopping away from the rising attack and meeting it with a sharp, harsh claw, beating back his raw strength with her Stand’s own.
“I don’t know who you are, but you’re really not the kind of bad news that’s any fun!” Glitch called out from atop her mount, pulling off in time to avoid the ambush of a hollowed-out guard and note two others bothering William.
“That guy looks underage… He ain’t allowed to be on a casino floor without ID!” Worm declared with amusement, fully expecting what came next as several of the doll-guards attempted to strong-arm him.
“G-get away… Get away from me!” William was freaking out, then, and fairly fearing for his life, allowed Ocean Eyes to manifest, swinging and spraying acid all around, which bounced uselessly off of Worm’s hide, didn’t so much as drop near Glitch or Vida Loca, and melted away the threats in an instant.
The casino floor was pandemonium then, several high rollers, some random patrons, and of course, every named member fighting, Stands flying. Arpeggi expertly caught rocks tossed by Fox, only for him to still control them even as they were made to burn by NEXT LEVEL 2, though this eroded away much of the sands of his barrier, backed up by Agnes as he very competently kept a rocky barrier up regardless, Metra standing close by, shifting her eyes. The Black Angel tried to drive headlong into Worm, continuing his mess of a situation, while Glitch, mostly, managed to sneak off on her own, trying to find a way to support William and calm him out of whatever this was.
“Don’t move,” a modulated voice behind her said, and she heard something click behind her.
“Mrr?” She turned, then, facing the barrel of Oh No’s revolver head-on.
“This might be a bit loud… But it’s about time this ended.”
Before Glitch could react, No had pulled the trigger twice. Neither shot so much as grazed her, but seemed to hit tables, cameras, walls, ricocheting about in apparent chaos, before finally…
“I… What did…” Blood ran down the organizational ringleader’s outfit, bleeding both from a massive wound to the back of his knee and opening a massive hole in his shoulder, as the rocks he had been flinging around dropped like… Rocks.
Tigran’s voice was the next thing to ring out through the casino, now mostly abandoned bar the combatants.
“TOBY!!!”
Fox hadn’t even heard the shots fired, thanks to Metra, let alone noticed their angles; after all, the only one he knew of who could make a shot like that was knocked out and drunk upstairs, not to mention loyal to Tigran’s paychecks.
No twirled his gun around, holstering it and patting the bewildered Glitch on the shoulder. “Thanks for holding still… Didn’t want to hit you and ruin it all, after all. Hmmhmmhmahaha!"
“You… You motherfuckers!” Tigran wanted to cry then, especially as the others drew closer, seeing everyone who had fought against an ally of his here as little more than an enemy. Still, though, facing them off, he had to calm himself.
“Stand down,” Arpeggi demanded, “you’re outnumbered, completely.”
Tigran, rather than giving up, began to speak again. “You know, as the owner of this casino, I know the power of ‘games’. You see, if you call it a ‘gamble’, that sounds so… negative, no? So you call it nothing more than a simple ‘game’. That’s what draws people in. Getting people to play ‘roulette’ is harder, but if you call it a ‘roulette game’ and mask it correctly, it’s so, so, easy… However, the moment the ball is launched, it doesn’t matter, does it? No difference between a ‘gamble’ and a ‘game’... the ‘contract’ is the same - you abandon your money for ‘entertainment’ and for a slim ‘hope’ that you’ll succeed this time and make bank… It’s all thanks to these ‘games’... All of you lot, don’t you think so? Aren’t ‘games’ great? Hell, I’ve got an idea for one we can play right now…”
“Wh- what the hell are you talking about!” Arpeggi shouted out in anger. “I’m not putting up with this shit! You want a ‘game’?! Sure, fine! Here, how about this one - I go up to you, and have fun beating the shit out of you!” rushing towards Tigran, Arpeggi readied a punch and swung towards him - only for his fist to stop in midair, hitting against some kind of invisible barrier. He reeled back from the impact, stumbling backwards, feeling… weak. A look behind him revealed that Agnes, Glitch, William, and even Metra, the Angel, and No seemed to be feeling the same, struggling to remain upright.
“Y- you ‘agreed’... heh…” Tigran’s previously panicked expression quickly faded, replaced by a wide grin. “You agreed to it! You agreed to the ‘game’!” By now, Tigran broke out into uproarious laughter. “Always! They always fall for it, tempted by ‘games’! You… you idiot! I put the answer right in front of you, and you still missed it! ‘Games’, by their very nature, are tricks! Illusions! And my [The Grid] has the power to facilitate that! By agreeing to the game, my [The Grid] forces you to participate! There’s no escape now - you’re trapped in this ‘game’ of mine!”
As he realized he had screwed them all right at the last moment, Arpeggi’s vision began fading, and he fell onto the ground with a thud, blacking out.
???, an hour later, Heartache Casino VIP room
“Alright! Seems like our contestants for the first impromptu match of the day are waking up!”
“Plrrr..?” Out of nowhere, Glitch found herself standing straight, awake, somewhere unfamiliar. She tried to listen to see what was going on, only hearing the groans of William, Agnes, and Arpeggi, indicating that they were in a similar position to her. Of course, there was also that voice - she was… a ‘contestant’. It wasn’t hard to roughly figure out what exactly she was a ‘contestant’ of. She, and...
“...William!” Behind her was a whimpering noise, evidently William, and the sound of droplets of some kind of liquid splashing onto the ground, clearly [Ocean Eyes]’s acid. Ahead of her were Agnes and Arpeggi, talking between themselves about what the hell happened. Arpeggi sounded mad. Agnes… she wasn’t sure how he sounded. But she gathered enough from their conversation to understand that somehow, they were currently inside of a roulette wheel. Or rather, she, and everyone else, was shrunk, and placed into a roulette wheel.
“Now, this match is simple - a deathmatch to see who manages to survive! However, since we’re at the heartache casino… there’s an appropriate twist involved! See, our combatants for today are fighting on a roulette table, and meanwhile, our spectators for today are placing ‘bets’ to see which colors win out! Representing ‘red’, we’ve got our very own ‘Fox’! On black, meanwhile, we’ve got ‘Tigran Sins’, who set this match up!”
She summoned [Vida Loca] besides her, taking a look through the stand’s eyes and seeing the environment for herself. She was dwarfed by the room, trapped inside of this small roulette wheel. There was nowhere to run. William’s whimpers had escalated into sobbing, as [Ocean Eyes] hugged him from behind. Arpeggi and Agnes were arguing by now, shouting at each other. She took a deep breath.
“Now… I won’t keep you waiting any longer, since I just know everyone here’s excited to see what happens! So...”
First, Glitch got tossed into Los Fortuna and found a new home there, with the rest of the staff at the Elephant Bones. Then, they started getting into fights with other stand users - Shelldrake, Effie, Byte, William. She hadn’t been in one yet, but she knew very well the effects of them. Her friends had gotten hurt, some such as Father Blue even dying. Then the situation in the slums got worse, her home becoming less and less safe by the minute, her friends getting extorted and forced to work for ODIN, and now she and William were trapped here.
“Three… Two… One...”
She needed to get out. She needed to fight. She needed to win. She could overhear Agnes and Arpeggi bickering on the other side of the wheel, but knew that they were going to try and fight her and William as well. They had to. They’d been trapped by that man’s stand, and none of them knew what could be done against it, if anything.
[Vida Loca] stood behind her, a constant vibration coming out of it and creating a loud hissing noise that was soon mimicked by [Ocean Eyes], drowning out William’s sobs. She knew full well that, even if he was her friend, William was also a dangerous killer, meek though he might have acted. As hard as that whole situation was to grasp, she understood something else - that the more she stayed near [Ocean Eyes], working alongside it, the safer she was. She and William had to get out of this. And if they wanted to get out of this...
They would have to fight for their lives.
OPEN THE GAME!
(credit to magistelles for the image, both the censored and uncensored version!(CW: trypophobia))
Location: A roulette wheel in Heartache Casino, upon which players have been forcibly placed.
The map here is roughly similar to the image of the roulette wheel above. The outer brown layer represents the rim, the yellow layer being the wooden slopes down towards the center, the black layer being the numbers, the red layer being the pockets, the next layer being sloped wood up towards the center, and the center being a metal tower.
The map is 30 by 30 meters relative to the players, with the dotted tile being 5 by 5 meters.
The diamonds are the metal bumpers, about half a meter tall, and the blue circle is a weighted metal roulette ball which is a meter tall, both heights relative to the players.
The metal tower in the center is 8 meters tall relative to the players and the outside walls are 5 meters relative to the players. Players can not go past the rim of the roulette wheel.
Goal: RETIRE your opponents!
Additional Information:
There is an invisible barrier keeping the players and their Stands inside the roulette wheel. Everything else will pass through as normal, but the players and their attacks will be blocked by this barrier. The barrier is cylindrical around the entire roulette wheel.
The roulette system is currently automatic, 5 seconds after the ball falls into a pocket or stops moving entirely, it will start rolling again at top speed clockwise. The max speed of the ball is equivalent to B SPD and the ball is A DUR. You can expect it to make around 8 revolutions around the wheel before losing most of its speed if it is unimpeded by the players.
If the ball is destroyed or unable to roll, a new one will be thrown in from outside.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
The Graveyard Shift	William Eyelash	“W-Well, I'll be going now...” You’re being forced to fight, and you don’t want anything to do with this! During the match, try to stay on the backlines as much as possible, assisting from there!
The Graveyard Shift	Tiger “Glitch” Ricky	"Nowadays, 30,000 yen is gone after you make one or two trips... So all that's left is to make more money, or go flat broke." You are being forced to fight here, and you hate it, so you might as well do something to cause the casino to lose money! Do whatever you can to constantly rig the roulette in favor of odds!
BADD GUYS	Arpeggi Osso Buco	"Does that alien not know what 'holding back' means?" You were tricked by that asshole, and now you’ve got to fight these two bystanders?! Fuck, this makes you irritated. Destroy as much of the area as possible over the course of your strategy!
BADD GUYS	Ananas “Agnes” Bayley	"I did say this seemed fun, but I wasn't talking about Cee-lo. I meant that it'd be fun taking your 30,000 yen from you." That girl over there is trying to rig the game, so play the agent of chaos and rig it towards the other end! Do whatever you can to constantly rig the roulette in favor of evens!

Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!

JoJo's Bizarre OC Tournament #5: Round 2 Match 9 - Anthony “Ani” Oakley Versus Ostro Crudo

The results are in for Match 7. The winner is…
Cabernet “Cab” Sauvignon, with a score of 71 to Admiral Pineapples’ 69!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	Masters of the Funky Action	14-16	MFAs took an early popularity lead, but it was closed to the gap of one vote by the conclusion.
Quality	Black Hill Estate	23-22	Reasoning
JoJolity	Black Hill Estate	24-21	Reasoning
Conduct	TEAM	10-10

Obviously, Cab hadn’t been actively antagonizing Pineapples - hell, by his high standards for company, he wasn’t a bad guy - but as he burst out of the Stand-jar ahead of him, even exhausted from fight after fight against the monstrosities inside that thing, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment as he burst from it. He was battered, singed, slightly intoxicated, and smelling like a Champagne vineyard, but he was fully prepared to pound Remix and Jack into the dirt for this indignity, and in fact, one of the two had been right there in front of him as he emerged, returning to his true, full size.
“Y-you..!” Remix stumbled forward, frail frame thrown off by the sudden emergence of an entire body from the urn in his pocket, even moreso as, shortly after, two other older men did the same, each holding back as ‘Red Red Wine’ held the urn aloft in one hand.
“Remix… What a joke you are, nothing under all your masks and disguises. But you know, there’s a part of myself I’ve tried to move on past, forget about too, you know…” Cab narrowed his eyes, contemptful of the scum before him, as the urn, rapidly imbued with ‘Wine,’ began to ignite. “I used to be a real hellraiser too, kid.”
His Stand, then, tossed the flaming jar straight at Remix’s head, and they barely reacted in time to catch it with God Shattering Star’s speed, wincing clearly at the pain and heat. Moreover, as Cab noted, the sight of the flaming urn flying towards him seemed to enrage Remix even further, the other hand flailing wildly.
“What’s the matter, can’t hold your ‘Wine?’ Then I guess I have to be responsible… and cut you off!”
Cab had planned on the fly to overwhelm Remix before he had a chance to set anything up, beginning to wail on him and imbue more of their surroundings with his Stand’s flaming material, taking a punch-rush advantage in the process, but a voice threw him out of that.
“Cabernet, man, your nine-o-clock!”
Pineapples had warned him just in time to see what looked like a fish-person, clad in a suit, rapidly swimming through the air towards him, brandishing an overly-long knife, and as he moved to deflect with his Stand, he felt his arm cut nearly to the bone and swore, doubling back through some suppressing fire from the Starlight Brigade. The new attacker was able to rapidly pull Remix away from this, however.
“NNghh… Nghh..!” Remix stood through his pain, his Stand shattering the Urn against a wall in a rage and smothering its flames, looking to his savior. “Took you long enough to step in! You can be anywhere in this city you want, so how could you be so damnably sluggish?!”
“ＤＯＮ＇ＴＰＵＳＨＹＯＵＲＬＵＣＫ．”
“That voice…” Pineapples was incredulous, then. “You’re… The Jo’s Sushi woman, aren’t you? What the hell are you doing here?”
Kimijo Kaneko was quieter then, before answering, “done with this city… Done with ‘Gravity.’ Going to make it pay, and then be free.”
“You…” Cab winced, clutching his arm. “Are you mad?! I’d read about the sort of things you’ve done, but associating with people like these two, is-”
“These ‘two?’”
That was all the warning, then, that Cab received before, barely grazing him as he dodged, another figure emerged from behind, sending a flying kick his way before rolling beside Jo, both of them striking a pose as Remix regained his composure, but was still too seething to join the fun. The new figure, framed by flames and blood, appeared avian in nature, with a beak, plasticy-looking armor, a Roman helmet of sorts, and thick-rimmed goggles, all the color red.
“No, it’s not just Jack, or Remix, or Jo or her wife, but the Crimson Courage of this city, here to wrench some away from its wretched fate!”
Pineapples, then, spied several other figures approaching, trenchcoat-wearing figures who appeared and disappeared through corners in halls, all while in the distance a brown-haired man watched, observing the scene curiously. As well, Pineapples took in for the first time the environment in which they had emerged. They were outside the entrance hall of a certain building on downtown’s Central Island, a place he had seen while campaigning!
“Los Fortuna’s Natural History Museum..? What are you-?”
Pineapples didn’t have much time to question, however, as the various fighters made a calculated ‘retreat’ out of direct combat, hurrying to secure the building’s many exits in case either Cabernet or Pineapples attempted a rush into the building for one reason or another. So they’re fortifying this place… I can hear sirens approaching. So they mean to have a siege here?
More concerning than the assortment of villains in the area, or an incoming police presence, a quick glance upwards made for a much stranger sight. Dark clouds were concentrated over the area, threatening to let loose a storm at any moment, but still holding for the moment. Through the shadows cast were dozens, perhaps hundreds of shapeless humanoid forms barely able to be focused on. There was nothing to confirm the suspicion, but a gut feeling identified the sight quickly. Ghosts.
“Hahahh… Ghhahahahahahahahah hah!” Remix, clutching himself, spit forth an ugly laugh, taking one of them into himself to bolster his strength as he declared, “yes, spirits, come! Come to heel before your master, and fight gratefully! Fight gratefully for the fact that we’ll deign to reward you in your next life!”
Pineapples knew that this was ugly, that even with his fleet, this situation had just gone from uneven to a potential bloodbath. They needed to get to safety, and fast, but to do so might be…
“Barret,” he declared, “I know you’re still watching, man. I’m in the best fighting shape here, so get Cab away!”
“I don’t normally do pro-bono work,” Barret admitted, leaning against the entrance of the building and dodging a scythe as it came for his head, embedding in the wall, “but what the hell? I’ll send you the bill.”
“What?!” Cab, almost offended, lurched forward, having to dodge a sweeping kick from the red bird and whiffing an attack with his Stand, feeling delirious now from blood loss but fighting for his ego anyway. “Don’t pull this hero stuff right now! I just saw you mourning a piece of your Stand, so don’t be a hypocrite and waste your-”
“You think something like this can sink me?” Folding his arms, Pineapples laughed a hearty laugh. “I’ll be better at cutting a path for myself without you holding me back! So leave now, so I can help fulfill the promise my crew made to Professor Tiffany!”
“You…” Cab grit his teeth. The old man would be stubborn, and thinking for a second, he knew he genuinely would only be holding him back like this. He would have to repeat his feat from before and escape first. “Damned showoffy old man…”
He turned away, then, beginning to book it, seeing a blinding flash and several fascimiles of himself, Pineapples, and the old lawyer filling the halls as he ran by, distracting all who tried to stop them as the pair ran out to the sounds of battle behind them.
Cab blacked out as he stepped into the sunlight, seeing VALKYRIE guards, led by a man who looked like a human cinderblock, rushing towards him and the attorney, as well as a reassuring-looking man who seemed to be directing paramedics personally.
“It’s alright, you’re safe now,” the low, reassuring voice told him as he let himself fall asleep, “my name is Raymond… I’m going to patch you up now, alright? Hang in there.” He called out, then, loudly, “Cavallo, we have survivors coming out of the building!”
And like that, after a record-long holdout, there is no longer a single team with all eight players remaining. Who knows when the last holdout for being even seven members strong will be next? If you’re the type for betting, or not, take time to see a roulette wheel match where an improving vigilante and an Agnes must fight off a tortured killer and a cat in human form.
Narration:
The Dream Theater is an art studio and living space for one of Midnight Sun’s most strangely inconspicuous employees, known only as ‘Tapir’. The studio itself lives up to its name, filled with trance inducing imagery that can make people feel like they are in a vivid dream. It’s rare and seldom advertised when the studio is open to the public, and even rarer is for ‘Tapir’ to receive guests into the theater.
Hotel Delmano - North Island, Downtown Los Fortuna - Shortly before all the bullshit happening in the district hit critical mass
Ostro Crudo and Peter Bequasimodo looked on at the computer screen while Peter typed. Ostro had asked for Peter’s help with a question he had, regarding Midnight Sun University.
“Did you want me to look all the way into Aaron too?” Peter asked,the screen scrolled across Midnight Sun’s faculty members.
“No that will not be necessary,” after Aaron and Funk worked together, it would be rude to snoop on him. “We are only looking for anybody else that you might think is a Stand user, the more recent the better.” Ostro continued.
“You think they’re going around hiring Stand users or something?” Peter asked, he rapidly double clicked the profile images as they scrolled by. “Some kinda hiring bias… ‘Institutions is the same,’ to paraphrase the landlord comedian.”
“Just a hunch, maybe a wrong one. They have a whole field dedicated to Parapsychological Research and a student population of Stand users from what Cy saw. Would not be surprised, then, if these observations and many breaks they get amounted to ‘preferential treatment.’” Ostro glanced out of the corner of his eye at an androgynous face on one of the profiles, “Hey, scroll back a bit.”
Peter does so, he couldn’t help but feel he was being undersold for his abilities but whatever helped, “That one?” Peter scrolled and clicked on a profile, “Somebody called ‘Tapir’… they got some pseudonym, huh? Makes me think of certain pieces of internet lore about a sand seller and a proboscis monkey that- eh, I can see I’ve lost you.” Peter scrolled through their bio as he and Ostro looked.
“Age: 44, Gender: Undisclosed, Role: Head Researcher on… O-neigh-rology? Uh, don’t know that word, lemme just…” Peter copy pasted that last word into Google.

Oneirology: “The scientific study of dreams”

Peter squinted, “Starting to maybe think they’re just one of the normal faculty members? Even their parapsyche guys look into things that aren’t Stands sometimes, apparently…”
Ostro wasn’t convinced just yet. Some gut feeling, some instinct, told him to dig deeper… And sure, that was the same instinct that put him in the hospital recently, but was that not sign enough that it was a good barometer for trouble to sniff out? “See who else works in that field over there.”
Peter searched the page, and only one result came back up. “Nobody else, closest thing is the school’s huge Sharkboy and Lavagirl fanclub. Ok, yeah, if that’s their only dreams guy, that is a bit weird. What made you want to look at this person in particular though?”
Ostro looked on, “You know, I really could not tell you. It is just… It is hard to articulate, but it is like this person is familiar somehow.”
Peter sighed and closed the laptop, “Look, as much as I’d love to help you explore your hunch, I think we have other important things to also be looking at, like how that Jack Aurel guy is apparently about to Berlin Rosso Capital Island. I’m 100 percent down with investigating that thing on the student body and faculty being weird, but we’ll need more to work off.” The hacktivist rubbed at his neck. “Look, uh, I know the last time someone went out doing Midnight Sun recon for me, they got put in the hospital, but it seems like they keep a lot of stuff pen-and-paper just to keep guys like me out. So if you really wanna figure this out…”
Ostro nodded, “Thanks for the help, and do not worry; this is my hunch, after all. I’ll go look into things myself for now.”
Midnight Sun University Town - Psychological and Cognitive Research Center
Keith and Ani wandered about the campus, Keith wanted to have some bit of leisure time for the both of them and when he was last here looking for information on their new pet he had happened across a flyer for something called the “Dream Theater Exhibit”. While the name wasn’t specific on the details, Keith had elected to take Ani with him to help them both take some much needed time for themselves. Ani didn’t have too much else to do and agreed, thinking that it would be a nice time to talk more with Keith at least.
Keith compared the flyer in his hand to the campus map in front of him, “It should be around here somewhere... Maybe if we double back around we should find it.”
Ani looked over Keith’s shoulder at the flyer at and then back toward the rows of buildings. “Yeah, I think I saw it tucked away between there.” Ani pointed to two of the larger facilities.
Keith squinted and took a look, and they both started to make their way over.
“So… what do you think’s really in there?” Ani asked, turning to Keith.
“Well, since it’s called the ‘Dream Theater Exhibit’... I’d bet it’s related to dreams.” Keith said with a shrug.
“I know that! But what would a ‘Dream Theater’ even be?”
“Hmm… Knowing this place, probably some kind of stand.” Ani didn’t respond to what Keith said, simply thinking about what sort of stand might be in this ”Dream Theater”. The thought of the unknown stand both excited him and made him worry slightly.
Making their way between the two larger buildings to either side, Keith and Ani could see a decently sized two story studio.
“You’re… Keith Moon, right?”
The pair paused, then, confused about the sudden interruption, only to be met by the approach of two figures in aviator hats, one middle-aged looking, clad in a shabby yellow business suit, and wearing glasses, the other looking like an orange, goggle-clad, artsy-looking teenager. The elder, then, spoke again.
“Pardon the interruption…” He said, “but, I’m Theodore Lloyd. I just wanted to talk about some things. I understand you’re quite experienced for your age, on matters… Comparable, to our current conflict.”
“What’s this guy asking about?” Ani asked, confused, tilting his head.
Keith, meanwhile, understood the interruption completely. “You’re asking about the Urban Uprising.”
“You catch on pretty quick… And!” The orange kid said, sounding proud of himself. “We’ve heard that you were also at a certain ‘incident’ at the Institute’s big library… And prone to fortunate misfortunes, no?”
Keith sighed, rubbing at his neck and looking away. “Just my luck, when I’ve been trying to forget about this stuff…” He sighed. Everyone who’d talked to the new head of the College of the Arts had only positive things to say about him. “Yeah, you’re right on all counts there. Some book didn’t go missing or something, did it? If that’s it I pity whoever was there when that librarian found out…”
“It’s confidential,” the yellow-clad thirtysomething said, constantly seeming to glance away from his orange companion, “I have certain security concerns it would be irresponsible of me not to follow up on, so I’d like to talk a bit about what you were doing there that day.”
Keith frowned. He was right in front of their destination, too. He and Ani looked it over, then he noted how important this looked to the professor. “Alright… You go on ahead, Ani.”
“But-!”
“If it’s this pressing, it probably matters more than me being here, and one of us should see Tapir… This is your responsibility, alright?”
Ani, reluctant as he was, nodded, heading off.
With Keith gone, Ani walked on feeling a bit betrayed, looking back at him in the distance getting further away. “He would be back, he told you he’d come back,” Ani tried to psych himself back up mentally as he got closer and closer.
Getting to the door, Ani noticed that a flyer like the one Keith had been holding was taped on it. The door was closed, and it didn’t seem like there was anybody else here yet. Ani gingerly knocked on the door, unsure of what to expect.
“Just a second,” a voice could be heard from inside as the door opened. Ani looked to see a tall androgynous figure in black and white make-up and a glossy black dress looking around then down at him. “Oh my, oh my, hello are you here to see the Dream Theater’s exhibit?”
Ani nodded slowly, slightly apprehensive.
“Are you here alone? You look a bit young to be at a college?”
“Well, you know... I was coming here with a friend of mine, but...”
“They left you here to meet me alone?” The ‘Tapir’ asked, “This wouldn’t be the first time somebody’s done that you know? But I promise, I’m completely harmless.” Their tone tried to reassure him. A short pause later, they spoke up again. “... I was joking, by the way. This would be the first time something like this has happened.” Ani couldn’t tell if Tapir meant for this to be a quick clarification or a joke.
Ani tried to look past them, into the studio, only to see that the paintings there looked to be covered by tarps. “Are you not open yet? It looks liked your exhibits are covered...” Things seemed a bit strange, but there was just the chance that they were only just mildly eccentric.
“Oh, you’re not supposed to see all of them all at the same time, silly~,” Tapir’s tone chastised him, a bit of sing-song in their voice told him that they knew how strange it looked from his perspective. Tapir moved to the edge of the door, and invited Ani inside, “Come on, I can show you what it is if you are really curious.”
“Well, I did come to see the exhibit...” Ani looked back on Keith still in the distance, talking with somebody else. “Alright, let’s go.” Ani tried to put on a brave face as he walked inside.
“Excellent.” Tapir closed the door behind them, “Don’t worry, you’ll see why once I show you the exhibit.”
The studio seemed fairly normal, but Ani’s cautious apprehension never left. He looked around the studio, seeing tarped paintings and a small living space in a room beyond. However, everything seemed to change the moment Tapir took off one of the tarps with a flourish.
A painting of various intensities and shades of black was unveiled, a black fog that seemed to draw him deeper and deeper around the painting.
All of a sudden, Ani felt as though he wasn’t in the same room - he was in a void, a place behind his eyes, and a screen in front of him showed him what his eyes should have been seeing. “You see what I mean now?” Tapir’s voice echoed within his mind, he wasn’t hearing it with his ears, at least it didn’t register as such. “Don’t worry this is just where you go before you start dreaming, just relax and let the dream take you.”
Ani’s dream was strange, or at least the parts that he could remember. Something about Jackie eating the moon, following trails of ants, and walking with the rest of his team.
Tapir had just placed the tarp over the painting, “How long was that?” Ani wondered out loud.
“Only about 12 hours~,” their tone indicated they were joking, but Ani looked around to double check. “Would you believe me if I said around 30 seconds?” Ani found the clock on the wall, it had indeed been not that long.
“The brain is a very complex thing when it comes to processing time, especially in dreams.” Tapir continued, “The basic gist is, things are only as fast as your mind wants you to perceive them.”
Another knock came at the door. Ani lit up, hoping that it was Keith and to tell him what exactly he just experienced. But to his disappointment as Tapir opened the door, Ani saw a dark haired man he didn’t recognize at the doorway.
“Hello, hello,” Tapir invited Ostro, who stood just outside the door.
“Are you Professor Tapir?” Ostro found himself slightly surprised to have to look up a bit to get eye contact.
Tapir nodded, “If there’s something you wanted to know about feel free to ask.”
Ostro stepped inside, “Well first off I wanted to ask, have we met before?” It took awhile to get here, but it was like he knew the path before he got here.
“Hm... maybe in a dream?” Tapir gave a small grin, “I don’t believe I’ve met you in person.”
Ostro and Ani couldn’t tell if Tapir was joking. Even with what Ani had gone through, he found it hard to believe.
“I’ll go get you some tea so we can talk,” Tapir said, before they walked into the other room.
Ostro looked at the tarped paintings as Ani shuffled around looking around the room and occasionally glancing at Ostro.
“Uh..?” Ani piped up as Ostro turned to face him.
“Pardon me, but what is this exhibit exactly?” Ostro asked. Ostro inched closer to the largest painting.
“You probably shouldn’t remove the tarp.” Ani lightly suggested, not wanting to experience what he did before so soon and not wanting to betray Tapir’s implied trust. “They have a weird effect when you look at them.”
Ostro kept looking around the tarp, intrigued now. “Weird in what way?” This Tapir could very well be a Stand user if his hunch was correct.
“Meow?” A cat poked its head out from under the bottom of the tarp.
Before they could react, the tarp fell off the painting as the cat scampered out. Ani moved to catch it but it was too late, the mesmerizing effect of a glossy neon image, dazzling white mixed with blotches of vibrant colors that melded seamlessly, pulled them both in.
Ostro and Ani found themselves where Ani was earlier. The screen of their vision this time flickered in and out, their eyes blinked rapidly involuntarily.
Tapir came in front of their field of view, “Oh no, you weren’t supposed to see that one this early. That one’s the most intense one.”
Ostro tried to summon his stand to help but to no avail. He wanted to speak but his mouth couldn’t move even though he could feel it completely.
“Sorry, but you are going to have to get out of there manually, unless you want to be dreaming for 12 hours. Don’t worry, I’ll send you some help.” Tapir pulled out a strange wooden dog whistle and blew.
Shuffling around Ani and Ostro’s legs could be felt as they looked down and saw a dog sized elephant shrew(?) nudging them.
“One of my spirit animals can guide you through, once you fall into the dreamscape he can show you the way to get out quickly. He’ll also let you have your full range of senses back too.”
The world shifted around them, they found themselves in a room similar to the Dream Theater with muddled details, the elephant shrew was still there.
Ostro pinched himself and winched. He and Ani then tried to summon their respective stands, relieved to find them working properly again.
The shrew stood just out the door as a strangely inhuman voice rang in their head.
OPEN THE GAME!
Location: The dreamscape, a world within your dreams and everybody else’s dreams. Starting off in the Dream Theater in the write up, players have exited the door to find themselves in the first new location.
There will be four locations that you will both go through in order to get out, each of them have a specific exit condition for the players to leave.
The second and fourth locations are impossible terrain fusions of different areas. These areas are effectively checkerboard mixed areas and things can be split down the middle, so you could see half of a building were it to otherwise overlap with the other landscape. Each tile so to speak here is 10 by 10 meters. These maps are pseudorandom where the players can imagine what lies around them within the constraints given by the description.
Similarly any object or place you think you could find in whatever area you may ask if you can find it from the judges, and objects can be taken with you when you move onto the next sequence. Judges may also reserve the right to say how difficult an object may be to find or how long it would take if it is relatively rare or unlikely.
As for the sequences, they will be covered in the additional information section.
Goal: Complete the sequences to get out of the dreamscape before your opponent does!
Additional Information:
Players have all their inventory still on them, including all of Ani’s ants.
All NPCs here can be affected by Ostro’s stand.
Each section of the dreamscape has something you must do in order to leave and potentially some conditions that may be applied to players. The list of dreamscapes and the conditions necessary to leave it is:
First: a busy city strip crowded with people. The entire main streets, Broadway and Seventh Avenue, have people heading left along the map down these streets. The rest of the place is fairly devoid of people. The people here will only walk to the left, but will still react to stimulus and as such can be jolted, pushed, attacked etc. Players start at the left side of the map, where the Pink “7” Circle is. The full map is around 80 by 200 meters.

In order to leave, the players must exit through the end of one of the main streets on the right side of the map.

Second: A melded beach and forest with a person trapped under a tree, a person stuck 20 meters up a tree, a person drowning in a 10 by 10 meter ocean. These three are 30 meters away from where the players first spawn in and are all equidistant to each other. The paths to each are blocked by overgrowth, trees, sand and bodies of water in about equal amounts. There are also 5 one meter long giant ants wandering in a circle separate from each other around 10 meters away from the starting location. These ants can be controlled by Ani without needing to force them into the UFO as long as he or his stand can get to them.

In order to leave, the players must rescue one of the three people here to move on. Getting them to safety or out of their precarious situation alive will count. The people here will generally cooperate with you trying to help them.

Third: A dimly lit long school hallway with 25 doors on either side. The area is 100 meters long and 10 meters wide with each door on either side being 4 meters apart. There are unlocked lockers all along the walls with whatever you might expect from a school locker and 5 security guards patrolling around in circles for each 20 meter area. Security guards have flat 3 physicals, a 2 in Awareness to Disruptions, and a flashlight each. The security guards will move to inspect fast moving shadows and noises but will otherwise continue their routes as normal once their suspicions go down. Security Guards can be stunned/damaged, but will not permanently go down. If they suffer enough damage, they’ll just be asleep for 30 seconds before waking back up. If the security sees one of the giant ants, they will rush over with a can of bug spray to kill them.

In order to leave, the players must open all the doors and look into all of the classrooms, and the last door they open will be the exit to the last section. The security will be patrolling around, and if you get caught and touched by them you will be sent back to the beginning of the hallway, but your progress on the doors won’t reset.

Fourth: A melded fish market and construction site, similar to Ani’s and Ostro’s Round 1 matches. Shadowy Gray or Yellow shaded facsimiles of people you know, people you trust are going to come out and attack you here, each of them only have flat 3 physicals and no other skills. There will be 5 of these facsimiles out at any given time near each player and once one goes down a new one will take its place. Around the map, you can also find some fairly spread out as well, you should be able to find one every 10 or so meters.

In order to leave, the players will have to defeat 20 facsimiles that match their team color, and once that is done they will have made it out of the dreamscape.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Underground Exodus	Anthony “Ani” Oakley	"There are no children in this amusement park, but I keep hearing a baby crying." While the world seems so surreal, the people here seem so lifeless in a strange way. Interact with the people of this place in as many different ways as you can!
Baker Street Rat Pack	Ostro Crudo	"What a relief. A dead dog isn't scary if it's just a dream." This place is just your imagination, you have to remind yourself of that. Interact with the people of this place in as many different ways as you can!

W0RMFOOD

I discovered I was made of worms when I was six years old.
This was twelve years, I should remind you, before it all: before the man in the straw hat, before the coffin came ashore, before the birds hung like bats from the telephone wires, before the endless neon billboards in a thousand different languages and before the boy who was not.
I’d been playing in the garden with a friend. A game of hide and seek, I think. One of those childish games that is less structure, and more just a whirlwind of running and screaming and trying on the world to see if it fits.
She had been hiding for so long that I lost track, began to panic, started calling her name and trying to hide the fear in my voice, stumbling. She didn’t respond, giggling behind some tree somewhere and I tumbled - holding my arm out to catch myself but missing and catching my forearm on the side of a table.
The incision was clean, and precise. Deep.
I looked down and I expected to see a gash of deep red. A wound wet and glistening and the colour of bullet wounds you see in movies.
Except, it wasn’t. There was no blood.
Instead, I saw hundreds of thin white worms moving against eachother under the surface of my skin, writhing and pulsing and moving to some unheard rhythm, and sometimes they would form a small knot and tug tight and slowly the edges were drawn together like tectonic plates by this seething mass and then it was gone.
I was better.
For a while I didn’t believe it. Played it off as a trick of the mind.
But part of me knew.
I took better care of myself but the more I slipped and fell the more I saw the truth. Slips with knives or on wet paths or catching my shin against the fence and I would see them again.
And I was so disgusted.
Some nights I couldn’t sleep: imagining those things beneath my skin, so horrified at myself, unable to escape my skin, smothered and strangled and wanting to turn myself inside out.
As I grew older my friends would say things like: I hate my Dad he makes me do homework, and I have a crush on Dylan but he doesn’t like me back and I am so sad, and I wish I was prettier and skinnier and just a little taller and all the time I wanted to say: I am made of worms.
I am made of worms and I belong in the dirt.
I would stand in front of the mirror and pinch at my skin and scold myself and say Lila Lila Lila you are so disgusting and imperfect and no one could ever love someone who is all just worms, who is disgusting and putrid and should be covered in mud.
Or I would close my eyes and imagine them all, the white knots, the thicker ones like cables or ropes, under my skin and slowly I would imagine extricating myself from it all, scalpels and electrodes and plastic gloves, and for a moment then I would be free. A brain in a vat.
It was hard, of course, keeping the secret from my parents.
I did not want to disappoint them. My mother who was so beautiful and good with words and kind and my father who would make her laugh and sing rude songs and who had a private smile for everyone as if they were all in this together. I was their only child.
And the house we lived in was so wonderful: I would never deny that. It was huge and crumbling and filled with old books and rugs that didn’t match from every country of the world and wall-hangings and faded artwork and the smell of wine and bread and conversation and every week new people.
There was Kelpie, my mother’s friend, who was always dripping wet as if she’d stood in a storm and who had weeds in her hair and would snort through her nose instead of laughing. Who winked and purred after she’d drank too much and was always the first to dance.
There was Hinoenma who would never age a day and had this strange beauty like a panther or a shark and who would always bring a new young man with her. Who would grip their thighs under the table not like a lover but as if she was weighing a pound of meat.
The Trolde brothers, a group of huge men who were all hair and broad shoulders and who would eat so much my Father would have to make three trips to the butcher in a day and who would bounce me on their knee and speak in gruff Danish accents of icy fjords and great fish they wrestled with their hands and who would listen intently when I told them my dreams. They would laugh and talk in stage whispers of the little girl with red hair and green eyes braver than all five Trolde put together.
I would spend my time talking to our guests, earning a little money here and there by running errands for the funny men and women who paddled their coffins down the river behind our house. They would turn up, in straw hats and loose fitting suits that were hopelessly outdated, claiming they were on their way to the Sticks, and ask me to fetch things for them from the town: cigarettes and matches and newspapers.
It’s strange, what you can accept as a child, and only realise is strange later. I never questioned that the strange hexagonal shape of the coffins they paddled could hardly be efficient, or the fact that these coffins, with plush red insides and metal bars on the side, were often too big or small for them. They were friendly, and would often tip me by dropping a couple of coins into my hand and winking and saying that I gave such excellent service.
The summer days would stretch long like cats in sunbeams and I would earn enough money to buy paperbacks and sweet rolls and when I was a teenager maybe a cold bottle of beer and that was enough.
Almost enough, to distract me from the fundamental fact.
The fact that lay between the white bones of my ribs and ate away at me until I was out of breath and in tears and could not think of anything but burying myself in the cold hard ground.
It was the day of the party I made the mistake.
I had earned some extra cash ahead of the evening by running a few extra errands for Charon, the latest man who’d paddled past in a coffin. He’d wanted a few bottles of wine and a lewd paperback with a half-naked woman on the front and when I gave them to him he smiled and whistled and said, oh boy, oh boy, what a life.
I’d used the money to buy a little extra beer for myself and a hat I loved so much: it was red and wide and when I wore it I could forget, for a second or two, about what was under my skin.
My parents were busy all day, my father entertaining guests and settling them in and encouraging them to drink with a wicked smile and my mother directing the helping hands, distributing seats and hanging bunting and making sure the band had peace and quiet to tune their instruments.
My mother made sure to take my aside and told me that I must not speak to any strange men, now that I was a woman and not a girl, she said there were things I did not know yet, that I must trust her. Soon, she said, we will tell you everything soon. She said that I should only speak to people I have met, and then she said with a voice low and serious that she meant this, that she loved these parties but there were things and people here she did not trust.
I was about to ask who, and why they were invited, but a server dropped a tray of champagne and my mother swore and and then she was off.
They did this every year. The party. Invited everyone who had come to stay, new friends and old, and some of my fondest memories were watching it from my bedroom window, the music and the masks and the way people danced.
When I was old enough to join in, really join in, not just stand at the side and smile and let people ruffle my hair, it was a whole new matter, it was butterflies in my stomach and snatched conversations with people and getting lost in the sea of people and confusion and stolen moments behind the garden wall to catch my breath.
But this year was different. I was in a black mood. I had been drinking since the early afternoon and I could not get my mind off the worms. Off those glistening wet things and I would close my eyes and be able to see nothing but them, and I hated myself so much it hurt: because I could see people my age, pretty boys and girls who I wanted to talk to so badly, friends from when I was younger, looking for me and all I could do was skulk in the shadows.
They did not want to see me: not really. They wanted to see someone they believed was flesh and blood and muscle. They did not want to see thousands of worms pretending to be a girl.
I was so scared someone would notice. I would be dancing and my skin would be exposed and someone would say, wait a minute, what’s this, Lila’s skin is shaking and trembling and they’d peel it back in front of everyone to see that I was made entirely of worms and they’d see these worms thread my skin together and then everyone would know and be so disgusted and shout and scream and my parents would shake their heads and say, we know we said we’d love you no matter what Lila but we’re not sure unconditional love can stretch this far, and my friends would say you have deceived us you are nothing like who you pretend to be you belong in the dirt with the bones and plastic bags and dead roots.
So I was sat on the wall at the back of the garden, watching the guests, when a man came up and sat next to me.
He said nothing for a while. He was dressed in a feathered suit, the colour of petrol, and his mask was long and beaked.
He gestured to himself and spoke: an early bird.
I didn’t know if it was a joke.
I didn’t laugh.
He offered a smile.
Moved a little closer to me. He smelt like dry earth and sweat.
I was drunk. The world was spinning a little and I had to close my eyes to concentrate on staying perched on the wall and he said I know about you and I shook my head: no, you don’t.
He said yes I do and I said oh really?
He smiled again, his lips crawling up the sides of his face, and said I’ve been there.
Something about it made me so angry: furious, even. He knew nothing about me. His smug attitude, the casual way he leant in to me as if I wanted him to. I snapped.
I said you know nothing about me, not a fucking thing. I said I am made of worms, I bet you didn’t know that, I am made of worms and I belong in the dirt and then he smiled so wide and his little pink tongue darted out and his voice got all croaky and he said Lila.
I had not told him my name.
He put his hand on the small of my back and said it again, Lila, I knew it, oh Lila I knew it, and I said knew what and then he was leaning in and I fell backwards to avoid him, fell into the flowerpatch behind the wall and could smell earth and flowers and he was shouting my name, squat now on the top of the wall, but it wasn’t a human voice but something different, halfway between a birdcall and a person; ugly and rasping and desperate.
My hat was crumpled under me. Soiled.
He just kept saying my name: Lila Lila Lila.
He jumped down after me and I began to back away, saying please, stop, I don’t know you, I’m sorry I was joking it’s not true but his voice had attracted more of them, these men dressed like jackdaws and crows and grackles, who moved like birds too, all jerking and heads bobbing and I could see that some of them weren’t just dressed that way but were that way.
That some of these men had beaks and clawed feet and feathered skin and their beady black eyes were fixed on me and they were all saying Lila Lila Lila like a chorus, mocking me, and I could do nothing but run.
I ran through the black and wet forest behind our house, hearing them crashing through the trees, the flit of their halfwings, their horrid birdcall, my name drawn spat from a voice like shattered stone, and I would trip and fall and tear my skin open and there in the moonlight I could see them: the white worms under my skin that would work so hard to draw the flesh together again and I was so scared I thought I might burst.
I pushed on, able to hear more and more of them, a whole swarm, chasing me, their footsteps far faster than mine, pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat, their huge thighs and scaled shins and claws raking up the earth behind me.
I took a left.
A right.
I was growing out of breath, kept stumbling and catching myself. Thumped my face against a low branch and felt my eye swell up.
Eventually I came to the lip of the forest. Where the land ended and the river began. I could hear it surging. They were getting closer: the Early Birds.
That was when I saw him.
Reading by lantern light, half-empty wine bottle perched on the covered part of his coffin. Straw hat. Cigarette a pillar of ash hanging from his lower lip.
Charon.
I had no choice. I jumped. Swam against the current gasping for air and grabbed the side of his coffin which made it rock and the wine slipped into the dark water and he cursed under his breath and said what are you doing young lady, what on earth do you think you’re doing. He said you know full well I can’t take passengers and that my work isn’t safe for someone like you and-
Then he saw them.
A dozen, maybe more, half men half bird, magpies and crows and square jaws and broad shoulders, crowding the shore, and he understood. Some of them were testing the water. Ruffling their feathers. Calling my name.
He nodded.
Get in.
And with that he heaved me up, so I was sat on the covered lower part of the coffin, and he began to paddle.
I could hear them behind, getting closer. That chorus, my name, nipping at the exposed skin of my neck.
He put his oar in the water, and there was a moment of nothing. Like an engine had stalled, and then it was like I was going downhill on a bike, and before I knew it the splashes of the Early Birds jumping in behind me were gone.
We stopped after a while, and his eyes were dark under the brim of his hat. His paperback was open in his lap.
What on earth, he asked, would men like that want with you.
I felt a lump in my throat.
I didn’t want to share the fact a second time, but as I looked up I realised I had no choice.
There, on the horizon, throwing a gold and orange glow into the sky: my house. In flames. Flames that at that distance were just one, feeding on the silhouette of my house that I knew now I could never go back to. Flames that I imagined tearing everything I had ever loved to pieces, scattering all I had loved as ash. Flames, that every now and then, were obscured by thick and wheeling clouds of huge birds.
I took a deep breath.
Charon had seen the house.
He nodded, spoke softly: it’s alright. It’s alright.
I took one last look at the house, and then turned to face him.
The words burnt a hole in my chest, escaped as steam from my lips:

I am made of worms.

I am made of worms, and I belong in the dirt.
-x-

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