Best Dogecoin Mining Pools 2018 - Crypto News AU

ATTENTION this is for humor this does not mean I like the trends/celebrities involved. Also it's slightly edgy
Thanks to https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgD0z6P5xtb8QrZeb5GvjpA
My channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZSXW4Dc95if3tmqV84veeA
Proof of originality https://youtu.be/qut-Hqe8u2g (this one is different due to edits)
There may be some problems with the script. Sorry
THEY'RE DISCRETE AT NIGHT -by elijah snodgrass
Characters-
-Nazi Elmo -Pedestrians (5) -David Dorbrick -Incredible Hulk -Fisherman -goku -Twilight Sparkle -DanTDM -Danny Phantom -Spanky the Monkey -Goku’s Kneecap -10 Pirates -Sonic the Hedgehog -European Union -FBI Agent 1 -FBI Agent 2 -FBI Agent 3 -Eliza Thornberry -God -Nicky Manaj -Eminem -Harry Potter -Gangster Fat Guy (Pete) - 10 Communists -Ash -Mage -Kraken -Sentient Water Bottle -Dash Sears -Cleric -Car -Christian -Knuckles -The Worms -Sam -China Guy -Smacky the Monkey -News Host 1 -News Host 2 -Bambie_G -Backup Singer 1 -Backup Singer 2 -Abraham Lincoln -5 Cult Members -Cultist -Kat-B320 -Cosplayer -Ling -Dentist -Sign Holder -Literally The Pope -2 models -Lagoona -Math Guy -old man Sign Holder walks across the stage holding a sign that says “December 2 1940 (WW2)”
Curtains open on a backdrop that is late at night. (Lights Off). A van can be seen down the road the headlights blind pedestrians causing them to fall to the ground holding their eyes. A figure emerges from the white van. The figure is not easy to see in the shadows. Someone covered in red fur waits in the abandoned McDonald's drive through, It is nazi Elmo. The figure comes out of the darkness into the buzzing lights (Spotlight On) beside the McDonald's revealing that he is David Dobrick.
Elmo: I've been waiting for you.
David Dobrick: Elmo stop playing these games!
Elmo: What do you mean?
David Dobrick: why here?
David dobrick gives Nazi Elmo a duffle bag Elmo eyes it closely sniffing it deeply.
David dobrick: I'm leaving now there's no more for me to do.
Elmo takes out a Mauser and shoots David directly in the head. David falls to the ground making a desperate attempt to crawl away he finally gives back a final breath.
Elmo: a shame, You were a fine minion.
Sign Holder crawls across the stage holding a sign that says “December 2, 1999”
The curtains close and reopen to a small village.
The incredible hulk: Did you hear about last night?
Fisherman: Shut up, I'm just selling fish!
Hulk: you will never understand.
Fisherman: are ya buyin or not. (randomly an Irish accent).
Hulk: Yeah yeah.
Hulk digs into his ripped purple shorts. He digs for about a minute then finally takes out a bag. The bag contains a few strange blue coins. Hulk flips a coin to him he takes the fish.
Fisherman: This isn't money!
Hulk dashes away from the fisherman with great speed and agility, Danny Phantom enters and seems confused DanTDM does the same.
Danny Phantom: Where am I????
DanTDM: Dad, really?.
Danny Phantom: Ho Ho HO you always get me.
Twilight enters cheerily.
Twilight sparkle: Hello magical friends.
Danny Phantom blushes showing an extremely desperate attempt to hide his major crush for twilight, Goku enters with a long grin and a teapot.
Goku: I lost my vocal cords.
Goku’s kneecap: No your wrong.
Twilight jumps into a pit of cherry jello and suffocates to death The lights abruptly dim, After a while hulk chims up
Hulk: Damn it's getting’ dark y'all!
Goku: Your right we should find a spot to camp.
DanTDM looks over into a strange door that seems to be connected to a cave, The door has metal bars coming down the it and the doorknob is broken off. DanTDM walks over to it and so do the rest of them.
DanTDM: This place looks super scary!
DanTDM opens the door by putting his foot under it and prying it open. They all travel down.
Hulk: If something approaches i'll smash them.
Danny Phantom: I'll send them into the ghost mug.
Nazi Elmo aproaches holding a lanturn veering the light towrds them.
Nazi Elmo: I thought I told earth a lesson last time.
Hulk: ive heard of this, Its nazi Elmo. An ultra hybrid evolving demon from WW2. my father always told me he would come but I never believed him, I guess he was right!
Nazi Elmo: Yes thats right, now i will destroy the human race.
Goku forms a blue energy into his hands and blasts nazi Elmo he flies into a wall.
Nazi Elmo: Dang, you used the unspell spell, now i cant destroy you.
Goku: Not only that but I formed a lock spell so you can't touch us.
Nazi Elmo tries to punch goku but it goes right through him.
Danny Phantom: We still have to rest in this wretched dungeon to discover tomorrow.
Spanky the monkey enters.
Spanky the monkey: hey y'all!
DanTDM: OH NO!
DanTDM pulls out a yellow sword and slices the monkey. Spanky the Monkey dies.
DanTDM: I only leave bones on the ground and blood on my sword.
Nazi Elmo pulls out a duffle bag and throws it at Danny Phantom. Everyone other than Elmo teleports outside.
Danny Phantom: Wha-What is this?
Nazi Elmo: heehee.
Danny Phantom opens the bag and pulls out a strange device. Nazi Elmo presses a button on the device. A hydrogen bomb comes out from the device and goes into the sky and blows up the moon.
Nazi Elmo: i do what i must, HeeHeeHee...
Moon pieces fall from the sky striking DanTDM and danny Phantom in the leg.
DanTDM: Oh god its in my head AHHHH!!!
Danny Phantom: my-my heart it h- uuuuhhhh
Danny Phantom falls to the ground covered in blood, After a minute of everyone watching danny chokes on his blood and dies. Goku forms a green beam onto DanTDM and the moon piece is healed
Goku: i healed the crater in your head. A hearty gang of 10 pirates enter drinking rum and singing.
Everyone in the gang: “HeeHee We kill with glee while we shoot them dead in their heads.”
Sonic enters selling canned chili tacos at an alarming rate.
Sonic: God i've already sold 400,000,000 cans of chili tacos.
Sonic: what's this?
Sonic picks up the teleport box and clicks it teleporting the remaining people in the area and spankys dead corpse to the EU building. The entire European Union senate enters chatter emerges from the crowd, Nazi Elmo enters soon after him no one follows.
Goku enters 5 seconds later.
The whole EU starts talking Nazi Elmo shoots through them cauing them all to fall on a fence decapitating them all.
Elmo: That'll deal with the economy.
Eliza Thronberry(respected EU member) enters.
Goku: Damn your kinda hot!!
Eliza Thornberry: Thank you teehee.
The fbi enters.
Fbi Agent 1: I'm a unoriginal character forced In by the editors
Fbi Agent 2: hands on behind your back.
Fbi Agent 3: You hear us???? We said do it.
Goku: no.
Goku blast all three agents into a pile of ash and organs.
Eminem enters
Eminem: I eat cheetos, Powdered like doritos, I steal the fritos, Goku don't need a knee tho.
Eminem shoots Goku in the knee.
Goku’s kneecap dies.
Nicky Manaj enters.
Nicky: Ey yo i'm Nicky Manaj.
Nicky kills herself out of fear.
Goku: all my friends die at some point
Curtains close, Everyone leaves the scene The curtains open revealing an exterior of walmart Harry potter enters.
Harry: I really am a wizard and my powers are extreme.
Harry sends a lightning blast into the sky.
Harry: that’ll teach god a lesson.
God enters.
God: How dare you defy me mortal.
Harry stabs god, Gangster Fat Guy enters.
Gangster Fat Guy is holding two models both sides of him With a gold chain and grills.
Gangster Fat Guy: Eyyyyy yoyoyoyo Waddup homie.
Gangster Fat Guy pulls out a glock 18 and sends 3 shots towards harry all shooting him in the chest instantly killing him.
Gangster Fat Guy: God was my brudda that's your payback.
Gangster Fat Guy puts away his glock takes out a mic Gangster fat guy starts singing to this beat https://youtu.be/lHuQlCXvXfk.
Gangster Fat Guy: “Yu Yu, My life hard, I can't afford lard, I once was barred, EWEEEEEEE, I smoke tea, I'm green.”
The communist party enters
Every communist(10): Smell us.
Goku enters
Goku: no why would I do that.
Gangster fat guy shoots them all once in the head killing them all immediately.
Gangster fat guy: Alright we need to work together.
Goku: i know.
They both walk out.
Sign Holder Sprints across the stage holding a sign that says “Many years later 2198 december 2 in An alleyway by fred meyers and wendys”.
Nazi Elmo: I finally figured it out HAHAHAHA gokus spell has been destroyed.
Goku enters
Goku: Nope, you dumb.
Goku blasts nazi Elmo killing him.
Gangster fat guy: Nice.
They both leave, Sentient water bottle enters. Sentient water bottle peices together nazi Elmo. Nazi Elmo awakes Goku reenters, Goku blasts the waterbottle and nazi Elmo again.
Goku: Ha you thought. Also I love Elijah snodgrass and u/crunchedspine (just in case someone copy pastes without reading)
Ash ketchum enters.
Ash: God I need to catch them all.
Goku: Why?
Ash grabs out a pokeball and throws it at goku, Goku is crunched into the pokeball
Ash: YES.
A mage enters
Mage: I have healed someone
Ash: I CHOSE YOU GOKU.
Goku: AHHHHHH.
Goku comes out of the ball and shoots a laser at the mage. Mage dies.
Mage: HOW COULD YOU AHHHHHHHH!!
Ash: good going goku.
Goku: The taxes won't pay themself.
Goku takes his fedora and walks out the door, Ash falls to the ground shaking and crying.
Ash: Why do I live!
Ash picks up spanky's dead corpse and eats him
Ash(With his mouth full): MMmf So good MMMMf.
Ash takes out a torch and burn his eyes out and dies, Sonic enters.
Sonic: my numbers has made it too 500,000,000,000,000 sold but now i have a broken back and a fatal disease.
Hulk enters, Hulk smashes sonic to death, The kraken enters.
Kraken: I WILL SMACK YOU TO DEATH.
Gangster fat guy enters.
Gangster fat guy: What?
Gangster fat guy shoots the kraken The kraken dies leaving ink on the ground, Christian enters.
Christian: hello my name is christian.
Christian comes to terms with his fatal decisions and jumps off the stage killing himself
gangster fat guy: hi bruddas.
Gangster fat guy gets a parasite.
Gangster fat guy: AAAAHHHHH MY BRAIN.
Gangster fat guy shoots the parasite.
Gangster fat guy: I win like usual, But i love hulk.
Gangster fat guy blushes.
Hulk: You do?
Gangster fat guy: yes.
Hulk smashes gangster fat guy to death hulk was so sad he dies, Dash sears enters.
Dash: Where is it?! Where is he?!
Dash stabs himself in the stomach and dies, A cleric enters.
Cleric: i will heal you.
Cleric heals gangster fat guy and then dies from using all of power.
Gangster fat guy: thanks pops.
A nissan altima car enters and seems confused about the death.
Car: But why would that happen.
The car explodes
Gangster fat guy: My name is pete.
Pete: I will find goku.
Pete goes out the door and 5 seconds later pulls out. Goku and Knuckles enter.
Knuckles: Give the pick-le or get the stick-le.
Pete: pickles are not round these parts.
Goku blasts Knuckles into the sun, Knuckles survives.
Knuckles: You tried you apple pies.
Knuckles folds his spine. Knuckles: I don't think I can take this emotional trauma.
Knuckles runs off crying, a little while later goku starts talking to break the silence, worms crawl at his feet and enter.
Goku: The worms still talk to me.
The Worms: No we don't.
Goku: Nevermind.
Pete: What were you saying.
Goku: Nothing just dont worry about it.
Pete: Ever since I was a kid I was into crime.
Goku: Don't worry my friend we will get through this.
Pete starts crying and sits on Goku’s lap.
Goku: Kinda burns.
Pete: Did you hear that.
Pete actually heard nothing he just really felt like lying, Worms leave.
Goku: No.
Pete: we have to go.
Goku: Your just wrong.
Pete shoots goku in the chest, Goku runs off bleeding out, Pete leaves, Goku enters.
Goku: I thought I loved him he was a brother.
Knuckles enters.
Knuckles: The chamber clangs
Gangster pete and goku enters a chamber everyone else is left behind, There is a ghost and its nazi Elmo, Nazi Elmo comes back to life.
Goku: this is too creepy guys lets skip.
A While later Knuckles, nazi Elmo, pete and goku all enter the dollar store.
Knuckles: I'm buying a cap no cap though.
Knuckles walks to the register, sam is at the register.
Sam: costs 40$.
Knuckles: no money.
Sam: ok.
They leave, curtains close news reporter enters
Reporter: breaking news local clerk sam is dead!
The reporter leaves. Curtains open to a skate park. Goku enters, Goku’s chest is very revealed Princess peach enters as well.
Princess peach: Your Mega hot!!!
Princess peach loves goku so much she dies.
Goku: Why does everyone i love leave me?
Goku starts crying, goku looks up.
Goku: Alright guys we have to find the key.
They all start skating 5 sec later.
Goku: guys?!
Goku looks into the sky. Knuckles enters
Knuckles: wassup bruv.
Goku forms an energy circle around him, pete and knuckles he starts to scream as he uses energy.
Goku: AAAHHHHH!
Knuckles: It's a nuke!
Pete: we must go to China to escape, it's the only way!
Goku teleports pete, knuckles, and himself to China with his superpowers.
Goku: we are in China now.
China guy enters.
China guy: 死了不然.
Goku: i will not.
China guy takes out a katana. Goku blasts china guy. China guy deflects the blast with his sword. China guy dashes towards goku and swings, Goku dodges.
Goku: You think you can beat me?
China guy: 是.
Goku blasts china guy and he runs away bleeding, Knuckles starts selling towels rapidly.
Knuckles: they are cheap!
Pete pulls out a gun and shoots his feet.
Pete: if I can't walk i'll fly.
Pete flies into the air.
Goku: Where do you think he is now.
Knuckles: We'll never know.
Knuckles starts being a socialist.
Goku’s Kneecap: I am back.
Goku takes his new kneecap and shoves it into his kneecap-less knee, Smacky The Monkey enters.
Pete: OoooH yeaahhh baby (groaning)
Pete eats Smacky the monkey cause he is hungry.
Pete: Oh snap, I need some salt.
Pete leaves to retrieve it.
Goku: We gotta head to the village for food.
The curtains close opening on the village. Goku, and the fisherman enter.
Fisherman: I ain't got no food today, but I got some salt.
Goku: I'll take some brie cheese.
Fisherman: That'll be one bitcoin.
Goku: GREAT! That's the exact amount of money I own!
Fisherman: Gimme the coin or we “might” slice you fingers.
Goku: My guy, Chill.
Goku hands over a bitcoin. Hulk enters.
The Incredible Hulk: Did you hear about last night?
Goku: Only sometimes adventurers fonder the dark depths (An old man with a long past voice)
Curtains close. A desk gets pushed out from behind the curtains. News Host 1 enters. News Host 2 enters. Breaking news music plays.
Host 1: BREAKING NEWS (YELLING)!
The lights start flashing. Host 1 has an epileptic seizure
Host 2: Well ha ha. He IS from Florida.
Laugh track plays.
Host 1: That's all for today! See you next time!!!
Curtains close than open to a darkly lit stage, KatB320, Abraham Lincoln, Bambie_G, Backup Singer1 and 2 enter.
Bambie_G: Brothers, I have come here today to sing the song of the holy way. Thou shalt never disrespect the one true living man.
Abraham Lincoln: I came here to eat not to listen. I would not approve.
Kat-B320: i approve.
` BambiG_exe starts rapping.
Eyy i smack people, Put cheese in the tree hole, Leprechauns nose as sharp as an icicle.
Bambie_G and singers exit, A cult enters.
The Cult Members: WE ARE HERE TO COLLECT OUR NEW MEMBER!
Cultist: I WILL CHOSE ON THE COUNT OF THE THREE Bushes!!
Cult Members: CHOOSE CHOOSE CHOOSE CHOOSE CHOOSE!!!
Cultist: I HAVE CHOSEN THE FORTUNATE PERSON!!! BOW BEFORE ME OR PERRISH!!!
Cult: I'm only here because this play has to be slightly normal for my editors.
Abraham Lincoln decides he is a terrible character and evaporates.
Kat-B320: sigh He was a good son. But things do happen. Kat-B320 falls to the ground and dies. David Dobrick’s body is thrown onto the stage, Goku kills all remaining people other than fishermen, Anime cosplayer enters. Wearing a naruto costume.
Cosplayer: OH YEAH I LOVE NARUTO!
/crunchedspine//
Goku: why are you dressed up as me.
Cosplayer: I love you.
Goku: You come with us now.
The curtains close.
Curtains Open revealing a church. The Pope, Goku, knuckles, Dentist, pete, and cosplayer all come into scene. They all stare at a selected person from the audience (Even when speaking).
Pope: I am the pope.
Pope: I am christian.
Goku: without a doubt I do believe that ( Speaking while Pope is talking )
Sign Holder runs across the stage holding a sign that says “Ling has joined the game”. Ling enters.
Ling: I am Ling, you can trust me.
Ling bombs the stage.
Dentist: TEETH TIME! (Screaming as loud as possible (With microphone at maximum volume.)
Dentist puts rubber bands in his teeth and chokes to death on them, Lagoona blue enters.
Lagoona: SLAP ME NOW!
Cosplayer pulls out a staff with a blue gem at the top Cosplayer blasts lagoona with 500 megahertz of something, Goku has a divorce with his dad.
Goku: Why?
Goku blasts lagoona killing her. Staples start falling from the air. A math guy enters.
Math guy: division.
Goku: Its like me and my family.
Math guy: Who are you?
Goku: I am goku.
Goku: Oh my.
An old grandma comes in holding cookies.
Old grandma: I like this.
Knuckles: Let me have a tasty munchy!
Knuckles jumps into math guy killing him. Math Guy dies, Ash reanimates.
Ash: I feel it so good.
Ash has a seizure and dies the set turns dark as every character goes on the stage and start muttering as nazi elmo arises from the crowd raised up on a chair. everything freezes. A light hones in on an old man in the corner.
Old man: And that's the story of my bar mitzvah.
Lights fade music starts as the actors take a bow and exit in various directions around the theatre.
Pete's last name decides its nuvlegiemer