Man arrested for courtside betting at Australian Open

It may come as a shock to many, but tennis doesn't generally have huge representation in rap. I came across this article and while reading through it, realized it was missing quite a few of my favorite tennis bars. I went through and collected the ones I could find, and ranked them on a tier list, considering not just how good of a tennis line it is, but how good the song is as a whole. I've outlined my thoughts on each song and laid out the final list at the end of this post. NOTE: I omitted Mac Dre's Da US Open, mainly because I never listened to it, but also because a whole album named after a tennis tournament automatically sits at the top of the tier list regardless of quality.
Kendrick Lamar - DNA
“I just win again, then win again like Wimbledon, I serve”
It’s my favorite song off a great album, but the tennis reference is pretty surface level and just a throwaway line. I want something a little more exotic and varied, especially from someone like Kendrick.
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Danny Brown - Really Doe
“Used to tote that calico and serve like John McEnroe”
One of the best posse cuts of the modern era, Danny uses a pretty overdone tennis reference to set up a nice section of the rhyme scheme, plus everything just sounds better with his goofy-ass voice. However, with the same reference already cemented on Jump Around, and with Earl coming in so hard at the end, the line is pretty forgettable in this context.
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Frank Ocean - U-N-I-T-Y
“Nothing but nothing but net, is you Roger or Novak?”
A shoutout to both Federer and Nole shows more tennis knowledge than most of the other songs on this list, so by that reasoning alone this makes the top tier of the list. Unfortunately the song is on Endless, often dismissed as a contractual obligation and ignored in favor of Blonde. Even so, the song is fantastic, and it uses a more original tennis bar, so this song stands out among the rest.
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Royce da 5’9 - Summer on Lock
“Racketeer in charge, tennis match in the charge
Y'all can finish that whack shit, then it's back to the gods”
A layered tennis bar on a fucking amazing song? Fantastic. The wordplay is great, Royce references tennis in a completely atypical way compared to his contemporaries and the other verses bang without overshadowing Royce; this is one of the strongest songs on this list. Still, points off for Pusha T not having a verse.
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Freddie Gibbs - The Blow
“About to take a trip, I got coke and dope on my grocery list
Oxycontin pack, I be switchin' rackets like Djokovic”
Although it’s the weaker of the two Alchemist beats on this list, Gibbs throws out Djokovic so flawlessly it’s gotta be considered in the top half of this collection. The flow is smooth as hell, although it plays the same racketeering angle Royce does without doing it quite so well. The rest of the songs is somewhat uneventful, bordering on boring (sorry Gibbs/Alchemists/Curren$y fans, just not my type of beat), so it can’t be placed all that high.
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24hrs - Have It
“I put like 50 on tennis chains
I beat a bitch in the tennis game”
24hrs has a divisive style that doesn’t always quite work, in my opinion. That being said, the production on this song fits 24hrs well, and it’s a pretty enjoyable song off of his collab with DJ Drama. I love the imagery of this dude playing and beating some poor girl in a match, so this song gets place probably higher than it deserves.
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The Game - Murder
“Open the book and turn that page,
It reads Arthur Ashe died from AIDS,
No, that’s murder nigga”
Crazy collection of talent flowing on some conscious lyrical shit. The Game referencing Arthur Ashe here serves as an illustration for the government’s culpability in ignoring the AIDS crisis, and some of the lyrics in this song get unfairly labelled as more conspiratorial than they are metaphorical. It’s a dope song by an awesome lineup, and only loses points because of that one picture The Game photoshopped of him chilling with Tupac.
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Pusha T - Pies
“Couple diamonds keep ya bitch loyal
Roger Federer Rolex, my wrist royal”
Holy shit this beat goes fucking hard. The sample shouldn’t work but somehow Push makes it absolutely lethal. The Roger shoutout not only incorporates Fed’s sponsor (so you know Roger gets a little bit extra in that next check), it gets followed up with the classic YUGHCK. Top tier for the adlib follow up alone.
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Lil Wayne - Sportscenter
“I'm servin' this track like, Steffi Graf, yeah
Roger Federer; there's no competitors”
Also counting for Jay-Z’s The Game Is Mine, this song makes the top tier list just for actually sampling tennis. Wayne’s reference here is alright, not great, relying too much on the overdone serve metaphor. Plus, he shouts out Steffi Graf instead of Elena Dementieva who the song samples, so points off for that.
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Big Sean ft. J-Cole - 24k of Gold
“Splurging all crazy, switching lanes in the range swerving all crazy
Style on Nadal, I've been serving ya'll lately
Cheddar on Federer
Ball 'till I fall, et cetera, et cetera”
I am not, by any measure, a Big Sean fan. I mean, Marvin and Chardonnay still goes and so does Beware, but generally I’m not a fan. That being said, this song surprised me by being one of the really enjoyable Big Sean works, with great production and a catchy chorus. Cole’s verse at the end is a nice capstone to the song, which ends with the tennis reference to both Nadal and Fed. Points off for using the serve analogy (I’m noticing a pattern), but a shoutout for making the line “Cheddar on Federer” not come out sounding corny.
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CL ft. Riff Raff - Doctor Pepper
“Drivin' backwards through Rome in a Range Rover
You skatin' on thin ice, Anna Kournikova”
The man who could’ve played for the Mavericks but they found crack in his jacket comes through on an aggressive banger with a line that makes me smile everytime. It’s Riff Raff, so he’s known to just throw out whatever to make rhyme schemes work, but some part of me really hopes he thinks Anna Kournikova was an ice skater and would be shocked to find out differently. I still can’t decide if I want to give points or take them away for not having the right sport for the athlete.
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Action Bronson - The Symbol
“Serve like Ivan Lendl up in the rental”
Holy shit this beat. The Alchemist comes through with absolute magic and AB rides it like a wave, spitting classic Bronson rhyme schemes and fitting in the only Lendl reference I could find. The line kicks off a stupid strong section of verse that just accentuates everything great about AB and The Alchemist’s chemistry on a song. Bonus points awarded for using an under-referenced player.
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Lil Wayne - Banned from T.V
“I go hard like Rafael Nadal
And if the bitches were a habit, I bet we have them all”
It always makes me chuckle, hearing a guy as humble as Rafa get shouted out in this fashion by a guy who channels more confidence and charisma on a track than almost anyone else. The song is solid, and is straight from an all-time mixtape, but Wayne’s mispronunciation (maybe intentional?) and the forgettable nature of the song in the scope of the rest of Wayne’s catalog makes this midtier at best.
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Asher Roth - Maybe I Don’t Wanna
“Yo Andy Roddick, your girlfriend is a hottie
I hope you don't mind, I wanna give her that Roth dick
Don't take it wrong shit, I know you got a fast serve
But if it doesn't work, tell her "Holler Asher"”
Hey, did you know Asher just released new music? No? I don’t really blame you, although he did find a niche there for a second and made some pretty solid songs. This track is not, however, one of those solid songs. It’s an alright beat, a little abrasive but not in a bad way, but Asher basically just does his best Das Racist impression without a fraction of the charisma. Extra points for apparently trying to incite Andy Roddick into some sort of a confrontation, points off for doing it so fucking corny.
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PRhyme (Royce da 5’9) - To Me, To You
“You ain't turnin' up, you're bein' backhanded like Pete Sampras”
Premier and Royce’s collaborative group led to some great work, and a feature from Jay Electronica makes this song a collection of talent on par with anything else on this list. Unfortunately, the talent really doesn’t lead to anything too memorable, and the tennis reference here is passable, but shows a clear lack of understanding for calling out Pete Sampras as the example of a great backhand. (Which makes me think, why the fuck hasn’t anyone use “backhanded like Nalbandian”? Not only would that be accurate, but somebody talented could totally use that in some sort of dope flow structure).
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Cyhi The Prynce ft Gotye - Occupy Your Mind
“I grabbed her ass and kissed her areola
Her love make me wanna marry her, Sharapova
I'm talking foreplay in Norway, gourmet and sorbet, sex in the doorway”
I can honestly say I didn’t expect to find a Cyhi-Gotye collab, but it kinda works. It’s not crazy great or anything, and Cyhi has had better stuff for sure (all of No Dope on Sunday still is fucking great) but it’s a pretty enjoyable song. The tennis reference on this is the most sexually explicit on this list, and I gotta award bonus points for making me laugh by rhyming areola with Sharapova.
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Hoodie Allen - Words of Wisdom
“Venus and Serena how we floating these lobs”
I’ve made plenty of jokes at Hoodie Allen’s expense in my life, but hey, I was bumping No Interruption freshman year just as much as anybody. This early career Hoodie isn’t great, though, and missing a lot of the catchy white-girl sound he’d become known for. The tennis reference is pretty surface level, but no one has said lobs yet, so I guess bonus points for that. The Williamses aren’t known for lobs though; in fact, I can really only think of Murray as a guy with standout lobs, so points off for not mentioning Sir Andy. Solid sample on the hook though.
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Pusha T - Don’t Fuck With Me
“We walked in, seats courtside
Dap Diddy, Will Ferrell on my walk by
At the US Open, there’s much more to Queens
Versace blu-blockers, row behind Oracene”
One of a long line of Pusha T venom directed at Drake, Wayne, and all of Cash Money, Push rapping over the Jai Paul sample is just a beautiful experience. Jai Paul can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned, and the BTSTU sample wasn’t done justice by whoever flipped it for the beat (probably 40). The tennis bars are actually knowledgeable, referencing Will Ferrel’s involvement with the US Open (does he still do that?), but the song loses points for being way more forgettable than a song with Push and Jai deserves to be.
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J-Cole ft. Drake - The Morning
“I mean you kinda like that girl that's in the US Open”
A song probably best remembered for causing raised eyebrows at Drake maybe saying he wanted to fuck either his aunt, or a horse, or something, the tennis reference is pretty vague. I mean, there’s 128 women in the tournament. Who’s he talking about? (spoiler: it’s Pliskova) The song is pretty basic, and outside of the Drake memes, it pretty much just came and went.
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Kanye West - Gold Digger
“My psychic told me she’d have an ass like Serena”
One of Kanye’s biggest singles ever, Jaime Foxx’s chorus hits just right over great 808 work. It’s insanely catchy, everyone has heard it, and it’s impossible to not rap along. The reference doesn’t rely on tennis knowledge at all, but it’s delivered so damn catchy it almost doesn’t matter. Points off for the psychic being wrong, as Kim K’s ass is far bigger than Serena’s (but was Amber Rose’s?)
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Snoop Dogg - Signs
“You'll have Sunday's with chiquitas
You'll see Venus and Serena, in the Wimbledon Arena”
Man oh man, I had high hopes for a Snoop-Charlie Wilson-JT collab, and man, was I disappointed. If not for the swearing, I’d figure this was a scrapped Trolls 2 song, although Charlie Wilson does come in pretty strong. The tennis line is overdone at this point, but shout out to the Williams sisters for being the most referenced tennis players, and Wimbledon for being the most referenced tournament.
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Gudda Gudda ft. Lil Wayne - Small Thing to a Giant
“I'm serving niggas like my name was Pete Sampras”
Remember when Gudda Gudda was a thing? Sure you do, he’s the ‘grocery bag’ dude. Anyways, this song is hot trash, forgettable beat with Gudda shuffling across it devoid of any charisma or personality. Wayne’s verse is subpar for what he can do, and the tennis reference is just as bland as Gudda’s delivery of it. This song resides comfortably at the bottom of this list.
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Jay-Z - Can’t Knock the Hustle
“Straight bananas; can a nigga see me
Got the US Open, advantage Jigga
Serve like Sampras, play fake rappers like a campus”
I am conflicted. One on hand, the tennis bar is incredibly basic and forgettable. On the other hand, the song is absolutely beautiful, and Mary J. Blige really elevates the track to something special. On a third hand, he also references the classic Tom Cruise movie The Firm, which is always a big plus to me. As a song, it’s amazing, but the tennis reference being so bland keeps this from placing higher.
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Riff Raff - Rookie of the Year 2013
“When tennis balls hit the fence I serve 8 balls like Andre Agassi”
One third of Three Loco returns to this list, really channeling the 80’s aesthetic Agassi had. Although the song isn’t near the top of Riff Raff’s discography for me, him referencing someone he looks so similar to bumps the song higher up on this list. Points will be deducted, unfortunately, for Riff misunderstanding the rules of tennis and believing you get eight serves instead of just the two. (Plus, a missed opportunity going for the coke reference instead of meth. I mean, cmon, did he even read Open?)
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Lil B - Obama BasedGod
“Serving all Bitches, U.S open
Pete Sampras with the backhand bitch”
Involving the overdone serve metaphor and doubling up on Royce’s Sampras line, Lil B misses the mark with these bars more than he usually does. As for the song… I mean, it’s Lil B. His influence is too big to ignore, so points for that and just generally being fucking hilarious. Points off for maybe knowingly soliciting feet pics from minors.
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Drake - Uptown
“They just loose to love, those are tennis games lady”
Goddamn I love this song. It’s the perfect summer beat, and everyone on it just fits together perfectly. Drake’s tennis bar is so on the nose it hurts, but the delivery being so slowed and laid back, in addition to how great the production is, the line comes off kind of endearing. This makes the upper echelon for how good of a song it is, but is kept from the very top by Drake not deeping further into tennis rules and scoring systems.
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The Jet Age of Tomorrow ft. Mac Miller - Juney Jones
“Long hair like Agassi in 89'
Pastels in Wimbledon the summer is mine (French Open, Bonjour)”
Off top, RIP Mac. That being said, this song really vibes smoothly, super easy listening with a hook that hits the ears just right. Speak (can’t say I’ve heard of him before) hits with tennis bars that included the first French Open reference I’ve heard. Points awarded for giving clay courts some recognition, and even more awarded for knowing what season the French Open used to be held. (Now somebody throw the Australian Open some love)
Top Tier:
U-N-I-T-Y
Summer on Lock
Pies
24k of Gold
The Symbol
Juney Jones
SportsCenter
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Mid Tier:
DNA
Really Doe
The Blow
Have It
Murder
Doctor Pepper
Occupy Your Mind
Don’t Fuck With Me
Gold Digger
Can’t Knock the Hustle
Rookie of the Year 2013
Uptown
Obama BasedGod
Banned from T.V
To Me, To You
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Low Tier:
Maybe I Don’t Wanna
Words of Wisdom
The Morning
Signs
Small Thing to a Giant