Why is everyone complaining about VAR?
It's painfully obvious that there are purposefully vague and subjective rules which allow for match fixing.
You think multi billion dollar industries with betting, advertising dollars, and placement money involved aren't being manipulated?
Don't be naive.
I, for one, accept it as a necessary part of modern sports, all major sports are corrupt in some way.
There are still redeeming qualities and it can be entertaining still because nothing can be fixed 100%.
But there is no point in complaining about VAR, it is what it is, a mechanism to influence matches.

"That Diomedes guy knows his way around a sword. It's a good thing Brandon is a bit of a pyro, or else I'd probably be fertilizer in the woods." - Arthur Morse

General Info:

• Current age: 19
  
• Birthday: 4/6/2016
  
• Name: Brandon Davenport
  
• Aliases: N/A
  

Alignment: Chaotic Good
Affiliation: Camp Half-Blood, Cabin #9, Boom Bros, Bunker #9, Cult of Phlegethon

• Birthplace: Atlanta, Georgia (presumed)
  
• Demigod-Related Conundrums:
  

ADHD- Brandon tends to fidget. His fingers seem to have a mind of their own and if he isn’t focused on a problem. They are often writing, tapping, or fiddling with scraps. His ADHD isn’t nearly as bad as most demigods and he tends to keep it under control

Appearance:

Faceclaim	Height	Weight	Hair color	Eye color	Body type
Credit to ShiningBright	5’11”	180	Dark Brown	Left: Orange Right: Hazel	Well-Muscled Triangular

Likes and Dislikes

• Foods: Brandon’s all-time favorite food is steak. He has taken Deklyn on several dates to steakhouses since the food conjured up by the plates doesn’t taste nearly as good. It should also be noticed he despises the taste and smell of chocolate to the point he may leave the room if it is too strong.
  
• Drinks: Energy drinks, tea, soda… If it’s sweet and has caffeine in it, there’s a good chance Brandon likes it. He tends to drink a lot of the stuff when he is stressed or cramming extra hours on a project. Otherwise, chances are he’s just drinking water.
  
• Media: Brandon was a nerd growing up. Things like Pokemon, Harry Potter, Cult classic movies, superheroes, and the like used to provide him with tons of entertainment as he bounced around foster homes. While he has less time for these things nowadays, he still will make several references to them as he speaks.
  

Family:

Member	Name	Age	Relationship
Mother	Mary Davenport	Deceased	Brandon never met his mother. From a demigod dream, he knows she was a mortal inventor who died in a house fire that she accidentally started when Brandon was a baby. Beyond that, he knows nothing about her, how she met Hephaestus, or her life before the gods. He found a few patents attributed to her in the field of robotics but that doesn’t exactly give you a mother to look up to
Father	Hephaestus	???	For a while, Brandon’s driving motivation was meeting and impressing his father. He had no family and wanted to be recognized by that which he did. This led him to find one of Hephaestus’s forges underneath Kīlauea. During the Opening Ceremony, he met his father and was praised for his work and skill in the forge. That said, Hephaestus wasn’t exactly the fatherly figure he hoped for. Brandon still greatly respects his father though he was not a fan of his father’s indulgence in his Mycenaean form. This dirty air was cleared during the Olympic Closing Ceremony.
Aunt	Veronica Davenport	44	The older step-sister of Mary Davenport and the daughter of Eris. Brandon recently learned that no person has had a bigger effect on his life than Veronica Davenport. He ended up in foster care due to her faking her death. So yeah, Brandon doesn’t like his aunt very much. During the short time that he was with her, he openly made fun of her. That said, he did agree to keep a secret from Cassie.
Cousin	Cassandra Davenport	16	Brandon recently learned Cassie is his cousin. Family is important to him and that extends to her. That said, he hasn’t bothered to work through all of the thoughts on her. It’s complicated, to say the least. On the one hand, she had the family Brandon never got to. On the other, her mother is kinda a bitch...

Powers

Passive Power	Additional Notes
Building/Forging/Crafting Expertise	Over the past two years at camp, Brandon has had a hand in making most of the weapons campers use. Beyond that, he’s created defenses for his cabin and the forge, helped to make a ballista, made countless automatons, and more. That is to say, Brandon is quite good at building, forging, and crafting and has used these skills for the benefit of Camp Half-Blood time and time again

Active Power	Additional Notes
“Fireproof”	Brandon has an exceptionally high resistance to fire and heat. Whether it be inside an active volcano, the River Phlegethon, or the insane heat of Camp Half-Blood, he can comfortably survive all of these temperatures without issue or discomfort. Fuck the cold though.
“Enchantment Expert”	Brandon learned the basics of enchantments from a book he found in his father’s forge. From there, he’s dedicated himself to understanding the intricacies of how they work. The most common enchantment he does for campers is storing weapons and items as mundane objects though he has made more impressive enchantments. Items he enchants generally have a cost associated with the ability, there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Brandon can also examine magical items to know their effects if he has uninterrupted time to study them. He has shown the ability to replicate godly enchantments on a lesser scale with severe drawbacks.
“Machine-Minded”	Brandon can activate this power to sense nearby technology, what it is doing, and how it works. If such machines are magical (automatons especially) he can communicate with and possibly control them as extensions of his body. Controlling usually only happens for things he has made or his allies. Enemy automatons recognize him as hostile and ignore his commands though he can often still use their senses as his own. His eyes give a distinct bronze glow when he does this as a tell of this power. Expanding the range and controlling many things at once gives massive splitting headaches.

Friends:

Name	Description
Deklyn Hayes	Brandon’s girlfriend for the past long while. Brandon is hopelessly in love with the daughter of Iris and she knows it. Of course, that doesn’t stop the constant teasing, pranks, and sarcasm. Brandon is also fiercely protective of her to the point he’s taught her how to fight, made her weapons, made her horse armor, and more. When Deklyn leaves camp, Brandon will be at her side to move on with their lives together.
Lukas Kleiner	Brandon’s first friend upon coming to Camp Half-Blood. Lukas gave him the welcoming tour when he arrived and soon after they became partners in crime. Their penchant for explosions blew shut a hole to Asphodel during a zombie invasion of camp and since then, the Boom Bros have been a force to be reckoned with.
Matthew Thompson	The other member of Boom Bros who has since moved on to chase the latest monster. Matthew was right there with Lukas and Brandon when they blew shut the hole to Asphodel. He also was the face of the ballista building He was the voice of reason for Boom Bros, though in his absence such a role falls back to Brandon Gods save you all
Arthur Morse	One of Brandon’s quest mates on a quest to retrieve Achilles from his hiding spot in the woods before the Mycenaeans found him. Since then, Arthur has been Brandon’s biggest hype man. He talks up Brandon’s intelligence and mechanical ability and is very appreciated. Arthur is also one hell of a person to have to back you between his fear manipulation, brawling, and heart. Brandon believes Arthur needs to stop claiming to be dumb.
Milly Beaufort	Brandon’s other questmate and the one most likely to break his ribs by accident. The daughter of Heracles is a force to be reckoned with in combat. Brandon enjoys giving her a hard time and she gives it right back to him. He’s seriously glad they’re on the same team though. You do not want to see her with a club. He wishes her the best in her future endeavors.
Jay Jones	One of the oldest campers and hands-down the most qualified. Brandon respects Jay’s combat calls immensely though he thinks the son of Ares would do well with learning when to quit. He’s concerned for Jay’s long-term life even if he isn’t. Brandon’s also rather proud that Jay wears armor that he made. Brandon hasn’t quite processed that the lovable meat shield will not be around for the next fight. He especially hasn’t processed that the role of Camp Tank probably is going to fall to him.
Barry Callahan	The younger son of Morpheus is one of the few younger campers that Brandon has taken under his wing with the help of Deklyn. Brandon wants to squash his hero complex before it gets Barry hurt and has taken to teaching him forging in his free time.
Johanna Herrero	Brandon’s sister and the person he considers the most like family in all of camp. He knows she looks up to him and he appreciates her more than she knows. Johanna takes over the forge duties he doesn’t like doing (like inventory), is always there to bounce ideas off of, and matches his humor. When she went out to call her family during a worldwide monster attack, Brandon stood guard and provided the phone.
Blake Yang	Yang and Brandon had an interesting relationship. As a brand new demigod, Brandon got under her skin and irked her due to his excitement to be at camp and wonder at everything. As he mellowed out and gained experience, the two became reliable friends. When Blake left to go hunt monsters with her boyfriend, she left Brandon a letter telling him to keep his head on straight and occasionally stays in touch.
Winnie Holmes	Another person who didn’t like Brandon when they first met. Over time, interaction with him became unavoidable as he took over as the Hephaestus Counselor and Forgemaster. From there, they worked closely and designed defenses for the forge as well as the fast-acting concrete glitter bombs Brandon keeps on his person for restraining people. She has since left and though he’d never admit it, he misses finding her pink glitter around the forge.
Cosette Hahli	The daughter of Poseidon was one of Brandon’s oldest friends. Back when he was a new demigod, she taught him the basics of swordplay. After Brandon had spent a little over four months at camp, he left to try to find his father, and Cosette accompanied him. While his father ended up not being present, the two remained close friends. It took Brandon a while to get over the fact she didn’t come back from the Mycenaean Reset.
Saul Kaufmann	Saul and Brandon arrived at Camp Half-Blood around the same time. Though, while Brandon was claimed right away, Saul had to wait for his mother to recognize him. During this time, the two became friends. Brandon made Saul’s polearm before he vanished on a quest. When Saul is at camp, the two demigods tend to bounce ideas off of each other. When Saul was struck with amnesia, Brandon did his best to help his friend recover. Brandon thinks the gods need to give the son of Athena a break.
Diana Scarlet	Another one of Brandon’s early friends. Diana and Brandon even went on a date at one point though nothing came of it. The two remained good friends though Diana disappearing into her work in the medic cabin is something Brandon warns her against. He understands the appeal of burying yourself in where you feel important. He also understands that you should be present around camp.
Mina Grey	The gremlin of the Melinoe Cabin and Brandon’s friend that shares his sense of humor. Brandon and Mina bonded over a particularly problematic brother of Brandon’s hitting on Mina and plotting how to get back at him so he would stop hitting on every vaguely female-shaped object in camp. Since then, if Brandon ever needs a good laugh or a hot take, Mina’s the person to go to.
Mara Lyones	Brandon views Mara as reckless, headstrong, and without an ounce of common sense. She’s entirely book smart and tends to neglect personal needs and common sense in pursuing her goals. While Brandon thinks of her as a friend, he has been rather harsh on her lately for not taking care of herself. As of now, she is banned from his forge and hasn’t talked to him since.
Andrew Vethos	While the son of Athena was hard to read, Brandon considered him a friend. Of course, that manifested as several blind jokes. Andrew knew his stuff, Brandon was happy to help with ideas, and even offered to fix the Paralos II after Andrew sacrificed it to destroy Nestor. The two likely would have been a bit closer if Andrew was a bit more sociable and didn't run off to hunt monsters in England.

OOC: Brandon has a lot of friends, this is by no means a comprehensive list of all of them. These are just a few that I felt were significant enough to shout out. I could write more, but this is already getting pretty long.

Usually on Hand

Name	Description
Greek Xiphos of Fire	Brandon’s primary weapon is a Celestial Bronze Xiphos that he made and enchanted to be able to ignite the blade and shoot out a cone of flames from the tip. Maintaining the fire and using the blast raises his internal body temperature. Overuse may lead to heat stroke and other heat-related conundrums. Unfortunately, while Brandon is immune to external heat, the same can’t be said for internal temperature spikes. When it is not in use, it is stored as part of his watch.
Shield of Nestor	Looted from the body of Nestor by Matthew Thompson and given to Brandon for his role in defeating the King of Pylos and the Mycenaean defense as a whole. The Shield of Nestor is a near-indestructible golden shield forged by the Mycenaean Form of Hephaestus. It has been enchanted to absorb all blows aimed at it and it can then release the energy back at a later time. If Brandon is using it, he believes the enemy is a genuine threat. When it is not in use, it is also stored in his watch.
Plate Armor	Brandon made himself a set of full-plate armor that he stores in a bracelet at all times. He trained tirelessly to get used to the weight and the protection it provides has served him well on countless occasions.
Gauntlets of Strength	Brandon’s chosen reward from the Olympics of Camp Half-Blood. In recognition of his aptitude, while slaying the Nemean Lion, he was presented the gauntlets by his father. The Gauntlets when activated make Brandon twice as strong, though it does not last forever and tires him out much faster. When they are not in use, Brandon has them take the form of rings on his pinkies.
Blessing of Phlegethon	Brandon briefly served as the host of the River Phlegethon when he and Lukas found themselves in Tartarus. Upon leaving, he was left with a power and a threat. So long as he continues to pay sacrifice to Phlegethon, he will be able to control those waters. Should he not sacrifice, he will burn from the inside out. His orange eye is a reminder of his time as a vessel and the Potamoi’s overwhelming power.
Pouch of Phlegethon	In conjunction with the Blessing, Lukas brought a source of the River of Fire above ground. Brandon has enchanted a pouch to contain the waters. The Phlegethon is known for being fire so hot it overwhelms the senses and appears cold. In addition to that, it can be used as a painful form of healing. Brandon controls which effect it has. It should be noted that he can not summon the waters and instead controls the waters of the River of Fire that he stores on his person.
Greek Fire Vials	While Brandon does not walk around everywhere with them, he has enchanted bags to hold the vials without the risk of explosion. Should he ever need a boom, he’s got more than enough.
Concrete Glitter Bombs	Lethality isn’t always necessary. If he wishes to restrain his opponent, Brandon, and a daughter of Hermes, Winnie Holmes devised a fast-acting goop that expands and hardens into concrete trapping those it hits in place. These are stored as pink marbles.
Assorted Automatons	Brandon tinkers non-stop and has over time amassed quite the collection. He has created many animal-shaped automatons for utility. He has also repurposed previously derelict combat automatons from the arena into his elite guard through reforging and heavily enchanting them.
Crossbow	Sometimes it doesn’t make sense to get close to the enemy, Brandon is prepared for that with his crossbow. He practiced heavily with Diana to be a good shot with it. He’s also engineered several types of custom crossbow bolts depending on the situation he finds himself in. It is capable of shrinking down to be stored on his toolbelt.
Toolbelt	Brandon has a walking armory and tends to be able to come up with band-aid fixes on the fly. Of course, carrying all this around without help would be impossible. The son of Hephaestus has a tool-belt to make his job a little easier even if it may be a bit stereotypical.

Pets

Name	Type	Description
Misty	Pegasus	One of the unowned Pegasi that took a shining to Brandon when Deklyn was teaching him how to fly. Misty has no sense of smell and as such is not frightened by the smell of smoke that often accompanies Brandon from forge work.
Sparky	Automaton Puppy	The automaton Brandon poured the most personality into. Sparky is a perpetual puppy that Brandon and Deklyn have joint custody of. He likes oil, destroying celestial bronze, and begging. Deklyn taught him that last one and it exasperates Brandon to no end. He has no combat capabilities.
Blaze	Orange Tabby Cat	Deklyn’s birthday gift to Brandon. This kitten is rarely seen during the day as it spends most of its time killing mice in the passageways underneath the Hephaestus cabin. It should be noted that it sleeps on Brandon’s bed and will seek him out for head-scratches.
Deklyn’s “Nightmares”	Spider Automatons	After Deklyn made fun of how messy his cabin was one cabin inspection, Brandon created a swarm of spider automatons to release in the Iris cabin. They mostly just serve to scare Deklyn and occasionally rearrange her things. She’s taken to painting them and refused when Brandon offered to remove them.

Unused Trophies

Name	Description/ Status
Trident of Poseidon’s Strength	When the Avatar of Poseidon was defeated, the trident he used was left behind. Brandon, Lukas, and Johanna recovered it and after sufficient study, Brandon concluded only Poseidon or his descendants could use it. The trident could generate water proportional to the user’s strength. With his study complete, Brandon destroyed the enchantments on the trident, though he keeps it hidden in a locked chest beneath his bed.
Book of Enchantments	Taken from his father’s forge, Brandon learned the basics of enchantment from it. For a while, the book was as close as he could get to his father. Now though, it sits on his bookshelf gathering dust.
Dragon Blueprints	Another item he took from his father’s forge. Brandon was intrigued by the item and grabbed it. Unfortunately, the bronze it would take to build such a thing means he likely will never make it. The blueprints hang above his head in his counselor room regardless.

Personality:

Trait	Description
Protective	Nowadays, Brandon is one of the oldest campers at Camp Half-Blood and while he hasn’t been involved in as many battles as Jay Jones, he’s done his part ever since arriving. Camp Half-Blood is Brandon’s home and his family’s. You can bet your bottom dollar he’ll protect it with his full firepower.
Prepared	Brandon kept the forge going through a celestial bronze shortage and adapted to fight an avatar of Poseidon and some of the greatest heroes of the Trojan War. Plans, backup plans, and adapting on the fly are all things he’s good at.
Sarcastic	When things aren’t in danger, the son of Hephaestus is rather sarcastic. He is no stranger to making jokes at his expense as well as others. If you’re not good at picking up on sarcasm, chances are he will offend you when you come into the forge and ask for something stupid.
Realistic	Brandon knows what he’s capable of and has a pretty good gauge of what others are. He won’t hesitate to call someone out for idiotic hero fantasies, viewing weapons as toys, wanting magical superpower weapons, or other things that just don’t work. He lives a rather grounded life.
Stubborn	Not exactly a positive trait but something true of Brandon. He sets his mind to something, be it an idea, a task, or a goal, and will not let anybody veer him off it. While he’s more than willing to change his methods to get there, he will arrive at the intended destination.
Innovator	How things are done around Camp Half-Blood can always be improved. Brandon was part of the group that designed a ballista for camp defenses. He’s constantly trying to figure out new ways to use technology both for his benefit and the defense of the camp. Friends like Lukas Kleiner help him out with this.

Stomping Grounds

Location	Description
Hephaestus Cabin	If Brandon is here, he’s either tinkering in the common area or the counselor room. If he’s in his counselor room, he’s powering down for the day and watching TV, playing video games, or otherwise occupied. He doesn’t want to be disturbed and the security system will guarantee that. If he’s in the common area, he won’t mind taking a break from whatever project he is working on to catch up, talk shop, help with weapons, or whatever you might need from him.
The Forge	Brandon has joked several times that he’s the only camper with a job. From how often he’s in the forge, you might believe that to be the case. Brandon’s created the weapons that most campers use nowadays. He also keeps the armory stocked, takes requests, fixes combat automatons, and the like. There’s a good chance if you visit the forge, Brandon’s working in the back or writing away designs he’s thought up in a notebook. Treat the forge with respect and Brandon won’t have any issue with you. Currently, Brandon is once again rationing celestial bronze in case the Olympians stop shipments without warning, again.
Bunker Nine	Brandon keeps Bunker Nine under lock and key to stop average campers from getting into a rather dangerous area. He’s aware of everybody that goes in and out of the Bunker. Right now, the people he allows in are Johanna Herrero, Albireo Albright, Matthew Thompson, Tristan Macmillan, and Lukas Kleiner. The Bunker also is the home of the Fountain of Phlegethon these days, but that like the Bunker itself is a secret.
Stables	A less common area to find Brandon. If he’s here he’s either visiting his pegasus Misty, getting ready to fly or hanging out with Deklyn. Brandon doesn’t like the smell of the stables and pegasi don’t like the smell of him. He never stays there for long.
Iris Cabin	Brandon is no stranger to hanging out in the colorful mess of the Iris Cabin with Deklyn. He’s also gone over quite a few times when she isn’t there to release spider automatons in her counselor room for the sake of giving her a good scare. He likes the Iris Cabin a lot less when Deklyn invites her pegasus inside.

OOC: This is a reintroduction, but Brandon isn't anywhere particular at the moment. It just is helpful to write all this stuff down. As such, I don’t have a Now Section for you all to interact. If you want to interact at one of the places Brandon usually is, be my guest. Thanks for reading! Also, I realize now this really isn’t mobile friendly, so sorry about that!

Okay, so everyone loves the Switch, right? Even the virgin girls have just bought them just to insert the joy cons into their puss! I gotta admit it, for wha it is, the console had suceed very well, surpassing the likes of the NES and probably the Wii, and most of the consumers are actually hardcore gamers from the X360/PS3 era, and girls, tons of girls(keep in mind of what I had said)Well, excuseeeee meeeee my princes/princesses, but for me, the Switch has failed in tons of ways that everyone fail to see.
First of all, it’s horrible menu, the only thing that Nintendo did for their menu, it’s literally add a stock default one, create some placeholder icons made out of just outlines, ripoff the Android settings menu, and that’s it, no music, no Miiverse, no true notifications of any sort, basically nothing that a modern console out from the late 2000s-present should have! Just compare it to the PS4 where it even has themes from indie games such as Undertale or FNAF, or the Xbox One menu, which has everything necessary for a modern console, and the Switch will look like a piece of easy shit that even the Special Ed’s could make.
Second of all it’s library, honestly though, Nintendo’s first party library is pure ass, pure sweet diarrhea filled ass their library is(including their third party ones), I honestly don’t like BOTW; they massacred Link into a exhibionist nudist who sometimes wear blue clothes but doesn’t wear his iconic hat for some reason, and the level design it’s empty, very, very empty ass wasteland, that looks more like a prototype for Fortnite’s next map for whatever shit they have in store next season, although it’s filled with padding by making Link get stopped dead on his tracks with sudden text boxes that the only thing they did to make them besides coding them, is to use Microsoft Word’s default fonts and call it a day!
And the rest of the library doesn’t get any better, first of all, they had gotten rid of the lives system from Mario’s Oddysey(I don’t care if they are outdated or not, lives should had been kept in that game), the game’s level design is confusing as fuck, and it barely has a soundtrack at all!; then Splatoon 2 which is just an enhanced sequel from a Splatoon 1 for the Wii U, and I have one question about Splatoon. Why is the Splatoon franchise so fuckeng feminist, I’m not a misogynist here but, it doesn’t seem strange that Nintendo prioritized females(especially UNDERAGED females) in what’s supposed to be a shooting game? Do girls even have a reason to be a priority on this game, besides, you know, BEING AIMED at perverted teenage boys who think that a drawing are more attractive than pure sweet and soft skin, and masturbate to that every day, until they regretted it? Do not even get me started from the fact that Inklings die when they touch water! Despite being fuckeng squids! Oscar in Shark Tale can sum it up well, with the phrase “WHO the hell someone trips underwater!”, exactly my fishy sexy boi! And the game is made by Japanese’s, so it gets even more obvious that this is nothing but fan service for the bois, or men! No wonder Smash Bros got many pedophiles or manipulative Lisbeans!
And ports, the is filled of ports, nothing but rereleases of any sort, whether are ports, last gen X360/PS3 ports, rereleases, or enhanced sequels to Wii U games, for the love of god, they didn’t even made a new Mario Kart besides introducing the pedo induncing shit that are the Inklings or the Spooktober induncing sack bones that is Dry Bones(I love Dry Bones though)! And even then, there’s a severe lack of important games that are not in the Switch, but are in the PS4 and Xbox One.
Here, let me type a list of games that are not in the Switch:
-Rayman Origins -Grand Theft Auto V -Spider Man PS4 -Star Wars Battlefront -Any Call of Duty game of any sorts -Same thing I mentioned above but with GTA. -Any PVZ game, although they included Octomageddon(indie game made by PVZ’s OG creator) -Any Touhou game of any sorts as well. -A Need For Speed game -God of War -Kingdom Hearts ports or remasters, and not the minigame collection with an even more convoluted story. -A Fall Guys And Among Us port. -Mass Effect, not even a port the Switch has. -Gears of War. -More Sega games.
And the list goes on. And, if you guys think that I am in the wrong for mentioning exclusives as well, when you guys beg over and over for a Persona 5 port(Those graphics, Disney Live Action like sounding music and characters that look more like Tik Tokers than actual anime characters, eww, I don’t like them) and a Banjo Kazooie port. Then what’s up with that?
And the newcomers list in Smash Bros Ultimate is quite pathetic! Not a lot of characters that gamers would like besides the hardcore Nintendo fans, first of all Joker; not sure of why he even got a spot on here, Hero from Dragon Quest(not a bad deal at all, in fact I accept it), Banjo Kazooie?; But he’s a forgotten character from an era and genre that gamers don’t even care anymore besides indie devs! Ridley? Why they even put him in here, for real, he’s just here for the memes just because he’s big, as big as Bowser he is, seriously JUST BECAUSE HE’s BIG? Despite him being a DRAGON?! That’s it? And most of all? Incineroar instead of a plant type based Pokémon fighter, without even having a new PKMN stage neither? Piranha Plant, Sans Mii costume, Cuphead Mii costume, Byleth, Terry, Isabelle, Inkling probably, Steve, and King K Rool are just there as meme fodders(and requests from men who were born from the 90s who refuses to know that the 90s are old).
Don’t even get me started on the humongous lack of modes that Smash has! A huge one. That’s I gotta say!
-No Trophies(because they were hard to make, that’s pure laziness as fuck, and Sakurai has a huge team, so no) -Barely any new stages that’s not a copy and paste of a previous stage, just with a different model for it(looking at you New Donk City which is pretty much, Kalos 3DS stage but with New York, and the BOTW stage which is a modified Luigi’s Mansion stage)! - Only three Mii Assault based modes, that’s it. -All Stars mode is not in the game(and the Non Mii based one doesn’t count) -No Custom Characters or modifiable stats of any sorts! -You can’t even paint over photos and draw awesome Fluttershy or Pokémon based stuff on the console anymore! -No Miiverse stage of any sort? And instead a copy and paste of Battlefield but scaled smaller? what. -You can’t even bet for players of any sorts on online matches! -No coins matches as well. Sorry Wario.... -No customizable messages for online play with friends(Pokémon Sun and Moon did something like that as well).
And the list goes on as expected. And on another note. What’s up with most franchises being represented for the first time in Smash being indie based ones? Tell me a franchise which got represented for the first time in Smash that’s neither a DLC based franchise like Persona or BK, or an obscure NES franchise that got forgotten in the past?
And you know that the library for the Switch is quite pathetic! When the Switch’s best seller! Looks something more like coming straight from the App Store or the 3DS! Yes Animal Crossing, I’m talking to you. Honestly though the graphics on the Switch are horrible. The only thing that Nintendo ever did to make the graphics look “HD” is to make models like if they came from the Wii era, and applied shaders, multiple shaders and lighting that eye blinding and fucks up the colors of the characters as well. Tell me if the lighting from Mario Oddysey, SSBU BOTW 1(at least they bothered to fix that in the sequel), Animal Crossing, or Xenoblade Chronicles don’t look way too bright or too hot? If not, then I’m not sure what to describe the eyes of Nintendo fans.
Also remember how I said that most of the consumers of the console, were hardcore gamers who were from the X360/PS3 era or virgin girls who don’t like violent games at all? Yeah, if they weren’t for those the Switch would probably sold as much as the GameCube had. And one thing that I had noticed though, is; Notice how most of Nintendo’s fans have an interest on memes, more so memes, memes of any kind as long as there’s a Nintendo involvement with these, yeah, most of Nintendo fans I had known(both online and irl) are only interested in the console for the memes, memes is what rose the console’s popularity. Even Etika was a meme himself before he turned into a psychotic ass irl adult version of Gerald from Hey Arnold, (and had fallen in the river from LEGO City) who thought that showing hentai in public,screaming the N word, or screamed like a girl just because they featured a dragon and a cocodrile in Smash, and doing terrorism to a local town(and threatening himself) makes him gain fans(he did, and even what an ungrateful lad for thinking that having fame and riches is a bad thing, probably he was severely autistic). Like I’m serious! The Switch is like Donald Trump, both were pathetic wastes of oxygen, who’s only reason for being popular is because of memes, nothing but memes, and that’s it, it’s just meme fodder! Let me say something for you, my brothers! If the Switch didn’t replied itself on memes, and memes, the console would probably sold like 14 Million units only, I’m being serious if you also count the amount of 90s fanboys and lisbeans girls that are there as well! Tell me! Didn’t you ever saw the PS4 or Xbox One fans posting memes, and memes as their primary focus instead of focusing on the gameplay or the lore of the their games? Tell me!
Also, the thing that I hate most of the Switch, it’s online play.... I hate..... its online play...... they destroyed one of the reasons of why I was a huge Nintendo fan in the 3DS/Wii U era. WHY?! Why they made it so you pay $20 dollars, just for playing matches?! Wasn’t the huge point of Nintendo’s console to feature a massive online network with a huge reliance on it, with even its own social network?! FOR FREE?! Like wtf Nintendo?! Is like saying that McDonalds would get had ridden of their hamburgers and only sold fries, just fries for $20(with soda as well), without anything replacing hamburgers of any sort besides Hot Dogs!
And their online play isn’t even that good! The only thing you can do online is play matches, Mario Maker 2 matches, matches for the Wii U port that is MK8DX, Animal Crossing houses being handed to you, and Splatoon/Smash one’s! That’s it! No online chat of any sorts integrated on the console, no achievements, no Miiverse of any kind, no way to search stuff on the internet without using Android OS on the console, no way to share memes on the Switch(despite being a console that relied on them for sales), not much online games to play that aren’t mediocre third party ports of games like CTR NF, you can’t post messages or check out what someone is playing besides a txt file. NOTHING!!!!!!! It’s jus the bare minimum! Compare it to the DSes online play which had Voice Chat, a third party achievement system for both Club Penguin DSes games, you could make emblems in Mario Kart, had Miis(at least in the 3DS), had Flipnote Hatena(foucken Japanese pedophiles ruined the 3DS of having chances for a Flipnote Hatena’s successor, true story), let you had the chance for sharing microgames you made in WarioWare D.I.Y, had a browser which is very obsolete nowadays, and let you share records you could make in Mario & Sonic Olympics games/Sonic Colors, not forgetting Pokémon Diamond/Pearl as well(which I don’t like much, neither HG/SS And gen 5).
It’s just that bad! And, the tip of the iceberg of the situation is, that they canceled Smash Bros Ultimate on EVO for this year because of the horrible online play that Smash Ultimate has, and Sonic players harassing the internet as well(which by the way were just kids, enjoying their hedgehog while it rots itself with time)! Like HOLY MagiKarp! Haven’t you seen the problem here?
And for the love of god! Stop saying that the reason of why the Switch sold is because it’s portable! Like duh, haven’t you heard of the OG Game Boy which actually premiered handheld gaming for the first time along with the Sega Game Gear(which I prefer more except for Pokémon, Tetris and Kirby), and don’t forget the PSP! That handheld sold like pancakes for having console like graphics that were comparable with the PS3/X360 and had major games that were spinoffs but still were great! And both the PSP/PSVita could connect to the tv anyways by using a PS3 controller for interacting with the games!
And lastly, and the least of my worries(somewhat), is that the Joy Con drift is artificial, since pulling the analog stick to the opposite direction of where you hold from had a braking system that deaccelerates the analog inputs, brakes it to 0 values of speed, and then accelerates the analog stick’s inputs in a progressive ass slow way, and the D Pad gets affected as well with values that don’t reach the maximum of its D Pad being pressed values(an analog like inputting system that lets you hold the D Pad slightly to navigate slower with it, on a D Pad..... what the frick?), just compare it to the PS2’s inputting system which makes the inputs reach out to the console, get transferred to the RAM, and then get transferred to the disc of the game you were playing, which is that simple? Compare it to the Switch’s inputs which are processed in the VRAM system and messes with the console’s setting as well?
As you can see, that’s my opinion of why, Nintendo’s not the winner of this era for me! At least their third party controllers, while they had to make sacrifices such as getting rid of rumble is just a cruel, scummy ass bag thing for the console to prevent it from making the controllers more expensive than ever thanks to Nintendo themselves! At least they are good and has neat ass design(there’s even a Scorbunny, Squirtle and Crash Bandicoot Controller as well, I would like to own!)!
I wonder what’s the next meme that Nintendo fans are gonna rely from for sales?

The Commander stood straight with his hands clasped behind his back, carefully upright despite his age even with no one present to bear witness to it. His eyes had fixed on the sterile white drifts beyond the reinforced window of his office, now appearing black beneath the night above. Some might have called the view uninspiring, but not far beyond the window lay a grave. It was not a much-decorated grave considering the expense it had taken to bury its sole occupant there, beneath a shipping tag torn from a compressed-air container and pinned in place with a knife.
The Commander wished that it was the grave's occupant standing here now instead of him. He didn't know what the hell he was supposed to do now, but whatever it was, the grave's occupant would have done it better.
Failing that, being able to phone home for orders would have been nice. The first flash of bad weather that knocked out their radio hadn't perturbed the Commander. The second surge, that knocked out the repaired radio, had perturbed him more. After receiving their unexpected visitor they'd took a chance on activating their last set of spares, and a storm had knocked that out too. Now they were out of contact for days, at least, until the base technicians could improvise another solution.
It didn't seem likely the visitor could have caused all that. But he was also having a hard time believing that it had been sheer coincidence. Perhaps their visitor had known that they would be out of contact, at this particular time, and had chosen just then to arrive...
The communicator on his desk warbled out its mock-melody, and the Commander took a step over to press the button with only a glance at the ID. He'd been waiting on this call.
A young woman's voice said, "Sir."
There had been a time earlier in his career when he would have been nervous about handing over duties this important to a member of the fairer sex. He felt no such anxiety this day. Nobody got assigned to this Base unless they were damned good at their jobs.
The vidscreen flickered into action, displaying the upper half of - the Commander privately admitted and would certainly never say out loud - the prettiest sight on the Base, or at least, she'd been the prettiest sight as of one day earlier. If Major Jane Getherde was feeling any feminine jealousy about her suddenly materialized competition, she wasn't showing it.
"All right," the Commander said. "Tell me about our... guest."
"Do you want the most important parts first or should I take things in order?"
"Take it in order, if there's nothing of imminent urgency." He should have been woken again from his sleep if that had occurred. He wouldn't have been sleeping at all, in this situation, except he'd already stayed awake the previous 36 hours trying to fix the radio problem. He was no longer as young as he'd been.
Major Getherde's comportment betrayed no sign of fatigue from her own sleepless night. "All the noninvasive examination I could do with medical instrumentation I had on hand showed our guest as an ordinary human female in every respect. Zero scars, zero birthmarks, no evidence of significant surgeries. White, perfectly aligned teeth with no evidence of fillings or other dental work. Her feet do not have calluses."
The Commander raised a hand and massaged his temples. "Can you tell me whether we're looking at advanced medical care, genetic engineering, or something wearing a newly grown body?"
"I can't think of an easy way to tell. You could order me to inflict a small cut on her and observe how fast it heals."
The Commander grimaced. "Let's continue holding off on that for now. The items she had with her?"
"The earrings glow faintly in the dark. No alpha or beta, very low gamma, consistent with a properly shielded isotopic power source. The high heels seemed ordinary on a surface examination. I didn't want to try more destructive tests, such as X-Rays that could potentially destroy concealed microfilm, without waiting for orders."
Considering that the visitor had been wearing nothing except earrings and high heels on arrival, under circumstances where a visitor should have been wearing rather more, he would have bet a great deal of money that the heels were not ordinary either. "Agreed. Keep holding off on that."
"A full medical examination revealed that the subject had a small case hidden in her vagina. I, ah, took it out. It wasn't locked, and inside were two ampules that looked like they were intended for a hypodermic injector. The case is self-refrigerating."
The Commander grimaced, not liking to think of the required invasion. "Any notion of what it was doing up there?"
"No sir. Obvious thoughts are that she was hiding it, or that something about her transportation method made it easier to carry things inside her body. The XO decided that the equipment should be kept away from the subject for now."
The Commander nodded. "I concur. Continue."
"The two ampules inside the case appeared to be filled with a homogenous transparent liquid. Since there were two seemingly identical ampules, the XO agreed that it was reasonable to draw a small amount of the liquid for further examination. After optical microscopy failed, I had the electron microscope moved into the medical section. Electron microscopy showed virus particles in suspension."
The Commander didn't straighten, because he was already standing completely straight, but his expression sharpened. "A virus? Are you sure?"
"It was hard to be sure from electron microscopy alone. After some discussion with the XO I decided it was worth the risk to inoculate a live mouse with a tiny amount of the fluid - under highest biohazard conditions - in order to observe the results."
The Commander shook his head, frowning. "Not what I would have done," he understated.
"I wasn't sure how long the sample of liquid would survive. The XO thought it made more sense to use it before losing it, rather than needing to draw another sample later. It did seem like something we'd want to try at some point."
The Commander sighed. "So do we now have a shape-changing psionic supermouse destroying our base?"
"No sir?" Major Getherde sounded uncertain.
The trouble with youngsters nowadays was not just that they lacked history but that, lacking history, they lacked imagination. If you were a Native American and people in unfamiliar ships suddenly showed up on your shore, you would be mistaken to assume that your experience with arrows let you understand the destructive potential of the invaders' ammunition stores. Playing with the stranger's toys while she was asleep had not been the correct move.
"What did happen?" said the Commander.
"After a period of four hours consistent with rapid incubation of a disease, the mouse developed a fever. At four and a half hours it began to bleed from all orifices, then it... melted... and then what was left caught on fire."
The Commander scrutinized Major Getherde to see if she was joking, although that seemed unlikely under the circumstances. "A bioweapon?" he said, feeling chilled.
"I would be shocked if it were intended as a weapon, sir," Major Getherde replied, sounding more confident than her previous statements. "A bioweapon should have a long period of contagious incubation, and should only produce symptoms that contribute to its propagation or lethality. Nobody engineering a bioweapon would sit there thinking about how to make the corpse catch on fire after it finished melting."
The Commander nodded, feeling ashamed of himself for not seeing that earlier, and mentally upgrading his estimate of the girl's competence by another notch. "Do you have any idea what the virus is, if not a weapon?"
"Speculation only. I think we may be looking at a biological Swiss army knife, a multitool. A portable lab. I can't see much detail with our equipment, but the virus particles were huge, as large as a herpes virus, and those can carry hundreds of kilobases of DNA. In the hands of an expert, there might be specific settings that produce supermice. We didn't know how to use the portable laboratory, so it deployed random effects that melted the mouse and set it on fire."
That made a surprising amount of sense. The Commander turned the idea over in his mind, considering it. If he had been traveling far from his home civilization, unable to carry even the clothes on his back but still able to carry one kilo of material, his first thought would have been to bring with the Library of Congress on a hyperchip, plus a microfilm on how to construct a reader to retrieve the hyperchip's data. Taking an entire laboratory wouldn't have occurred to him... but that was because his civilization still thought in terms of machines and engines, rather than kilobases of DNA. His race had unlocked the secrets of the Atom; the mysteries held in Life were of a higher order. "Do you have any idea how to operate her... laboratory?"
"It could be a matter of exposing the ampule to a sequence of colored lights. Or feeding a subject the right mix of eye of toad and tongue of newt before infection, if the tool is meant to operate in more primitive settings. The key could be in the earrings, or the high heels, or something we haven't spotted. It seems likely to take considerable experimentation, if we can work it out at all."
The Commander grimaced. "Had the feeling it was a stupid question, but I was hoping you'd tell me otherwise."
"Sorry sir." Major Getherde looked genuinely apologetic.
"Not your fault, son," the Commander said before he could stop himself, then helplessly considered if he should correct himself to "daughter" which did not sound right to him, or apologize to her, or... it was probably better to just drop it. "Next steps?"
Major Jane Getherde spread her hands. "Wait for our guest to wake up."
As if timed to her words, beeping began to sound from off the vidscreen.
-------------------------
A couple of hours later, the Commander was sitting beside Lt. Commander Akio Nagasaki, his base second-in-command, one of Japan's contributions to NATO. Major Getherde had been the only person to have physical contact with the visitor, sealed away from the rest of the base in the medical quarantine unit - the most obvious and basic of precautions. The Commander had on further consideration taken the less obvious step of ordering that only Major Getherde was permitted to communicate directly with the visitor. The existence of psionics and mental superpowers still seemed unlikely, even under the circumstances. But the Commander couldn't be sure, that was the problem, he couldn't be sure of anything. The visitor could have a hyper-advanced organic computer buried in her brain, indetectable to X-Rays, augmenting her ability to read body language and manipulate lesser minds. God damn it, shouldn't his base have had detailed protocols on file for a Little Green Man scenario?
"Report," the Commander said to Major Getherde's image on the vidscreen.
Major Getherde had a distant look about her, as though she was operating on momentum while not really believing in what was happening. "Our visitor identified herself as 'Starry' and presents herself as being... well, sir, I know it sounds unbelievable, and I'm not asserting any such thing myself, but 'Starry' claims to be from an alternate branch of Earth's history."
Beside him, Nagasaki's eyebrows flew up, the Japanese man showing more open emotion than he usually did. The Commander's own mind was recalling dim memories of sci-fi stories he'd read when he was a good deal younger, in particular the Paratime stories by H. Beam Piper. In his mind's eye he stretched out a long timeline of Earth's history, ready to extrapolate possible changes. "Point of divergence?" the Commander said at once. He'd been prepared to stay calm in the face of stranger stories than that one.
The Major looked taken aback herself at her Commander's lack of shock. "Ah... I'm not sure. Taking everything she said at face value, 'Starry' said she was from the United States of her world, a town called Norville in central California. We don't seem to have a national street map on base, so I couldn't check her knowledge of local roads, but she had Interstate 5 right. Her belief about the current date and year matches ours, minus the day she spent unconscious. She confirmed George Washington as the first President and that Abraham Lincoln won the Civil War. She recognized Eisenhower's name, though she wasn't sure whether he'd been President. Mentioning Harry Truman's name made her say 'Dewey defeats Truman', so that part happened the same way. World War II ended with atom bombs being dropped on, ah..." The Major's eyes darted in the direction that would correspond to Akio Nagasaki on her own vidscreen - an unnecessary concern, but the Major evidently didn't know that. "The same two cities. No recognition of Adlai Stevenson's name, or any later Presidents from our world except Jimmy Carter. She named John F. Kennedy as a President in her own world, one she remembered because he'd been assassinated."
That put the divergence at 1960 or earlier. Part of the Commander's mind was trying out possible stories for what would have changed without Stevenson in power. More of his attention was focused on the further implications of her not knowing whether Eisenhower had been President in her America. "She didn't know her own world's history?" he said.
Major Getherde wore a look of faint disapproval. "She had to think hard to remember the current Speaker of the House - Nancy Pelosi, no idea who that is - and she had no idea at all who her Representative was."
"Amnesia?" Akio said.
"I don't think so, and she didn't seem otherwise stupid or scatterbrained. More like she'd played hooky on all her high school civics classes and her family didn't subscribe to any newspapers."
Akio snorted, mirroring the Major's disapproving look.
The Commander lifted a quelling hand. "Don't judge her when we don't know her circumstances," he stated. God knew there were still some kids, even in America, who legitimately had more urgent concerns than their future civic duties. "The larger implication is that our visitor is not an experienced... parallel-timeline traveler, let's call it, or 'paratimer' for short. I would expect a veteran paratimer to have a wide grasp of history."
"Our visitor seems reluctant to speak of how she got here," Major Getherde said. "But it did seem like her journey might have been... unintended."
Beside him, Akio was frowning. "She brought arong a biorogicar raboratory in her vagina," he said in his accented English. "I doubt she arways carries one in her vagina."
It was a good point. The Commander pondered it. "Her apparent age doesn't square with travel on diplomatic or military business," he said aloud. "A stowaway? A refugee of disaster?"
"Our visitor did seem somewhat in shock when she first woke up." The Major seemed slightly embarrassed. "My first priority was putting a blanket around her and telling her she was safe, which seemed to help."
Akio and the Commander traded glances.
"Continue with the report," the Commander said.
Major Getherde looked down and off-screen, probably at her notes. "Again taking all she says at face value, her timeline is advanced beyond our own in the biological and computational sciences, behind us in atomic energy and space travel. Specifically, her timeline doesn't seem to have developed liquid-phase fission reactors, with drastic consequences for all civilization. She had vague memories of learning about an 'oil crisis' that happened in the 1970s. Global warming is becoming a planet-threatening catastrophe. She didn't recognize the names or models of the first Nerva-series spaceships, and seemed genuinely shocked at the concept of using atomic energy for propulsion. Her first question was about radioactive waste contaminating the atmosphere, and she looked surprised and interested when I said a spaceship's atomic reactor only heated the propellant rather than spraying out fissionable materials." Major Getherde spread her hands to display her own puzzlement at the visitor's puzzlement. "Her world has one space station and that's it. She didn't know its tonnage, or whether it was in low orbit or higher. Her people visited the Moon in the 1960s a few times and then they never went back."
The Commander pursed his lips, loading this scenario in his mental timeline. "I hadn't thought liquid-phase atomics would represent a serious technological bottleneck," he said. "I certainly wouldn't expect the idea of using a reactor to heat inert propellant to be a difficult concept." He glanced at Akio, who might know more.
Akio seemed absorbed in thought. "Both riquid-phase reactors and inert-properrant rockets have great engineering difficuruties," he said eventually. "But I wourud not have expected it to be impossiburu in the face of effort. There is no brirriant invention at the core, only much work."
"It could be a cultural issue," said Major Getherde. "Our visitor seemed to show traces of a superstitious or religious dread about atomic energy."
"Hm," said the Commander. He was by far the oldest person on the Base, the token Experienced Officer appointed to ride herd over much healthier youngsters. Even he wasn't old enough to remember the initial introduction of A-bombs in 1945. Still, he knew that dread of atomic energy had been widespread immediately after. If that attitude had persisted and grown, producing a general retreat from material technology into the realm of the mental and biological... he could see it, the Commander supposed. Especially if their timeline had acquired stronger justifications for fear. "Any large-scale atomic exchanges in their history? Any use of atomic weapons above the deca-kiloton level?"
"I... I'm sorry, sir, I didn't think to ask explicitly. It hadn't occurred to me that she wouldn't have mentioned something like that, if it had happened."
The increased fear would have needed to begin early enough to avert research into liquid-phase atomics, which had begun in the 1960s according to his memory. Truman had still been elected in 1948, with events proceeding similarly enough to duplicate the famous headline... "Maybe ask her about the Korean Invasion in particular," said the Commander. "Truman played a damn tight game there. Using Mark-4s may have gotten the NKs to back off, but a lot of historians worry it could have gone the other way - normalized the general use of nukes in warfare, instead of showing that we were willing to use tac-nukes defensively."
Major Getherde nodded. "I'll ask. However things played out, their Cold War ended in the late 1980s with victory to the West -"
"How?" the Commander demanded, leaning forward at the vidscreen as if to press answers out of it. That could be the single most important item of knowledge their visitor had.
"She had only vague ideas. Her rough picture was that the Soviet Union ran out of resources to contend with us and gave up, dissolving into its constituent countries." Major Getherde spread her hands. "The Eastern economies have always been less efficient. As it stands, they're wringing their civilian populations dry to maintain a war footing. Take away everyone's atomic generators, and..."
"Christ," the Commander muttered. "Talk about the mother of all mixed blessings." What he wouldn't have given for a good look at the history shelves of a dozen timelines! If there was a real Paratimer civilization out there, their grasp of history would be chemistry to his Earth's alchemy. A true science that laid out cause and effect with surgical precision, relegating his own historical monographs to poetical essays for the fiction stacks of the library... with an effort, he focused again on the vidscreen. "Maybe I'm being sidetracked from more important issues, but curiosity is eating me alive. What happens after the end of the Cold War?"
Major Getherde hesitated. "Not... not what we'd hoped. My impression is that her United States is also on the verge of dissolution."
A shock of horror went through him. The Commander reminded himself that it wasn't his world... but if there were mistakes that could destroy the West, it was the type of lesson best learned in a single world, once. "What's happening to them? Running out of coal?"
"I..." Major Getherde looked at her notes, and shook her head. "I don't know how to - I don't understand - her attitude towards capitalism versus communism was one of utter despair in both systems. I don't know whether to write it off as teenage nihilism or if her world has been through experiences I can't imagine. I asked if they were having an economic depression. She said that official statistics said no, but it seemed to her like the economy in her city was feeling very sad. And though she didn't say it in so many words, it sounded to me like her America was heading for civil war. As if the only thing holding the USA together had been the Cold War, and once the common enemy was gone, internal divisions began tearing America apart. Political lines more than racial ones, 'reds' versus 'blues'. And it also sounded as if - as if the United States lost interest in its ideals once we didn't have the Soviet Union to contrast ourselves to. People being arrested and held without trial and, and worse. She didn't seem to think other Western countries were better off, and she didn't think the decay was being driven by environmental meltdown or resource exhaustion but by some type of - inward despair, madness, a mass psychological catastrophe of unknown origin. I halfway expected her to describe Martian telepaths launching a psychic assault on all of Terra's sanity like in War of the Worlds IV. Some of what she said sounded like a joke, or insane, the most extreme case being that Donald Trump was elected US President in 2016."
"I have not heard of him?" Akio said, glancing in the Commander's direction.
The Commander was trying desperately to keep a straight face. President Donald Trump. Christ, that wasn't funny, it wasn't funny at all, what was wrong with him, that had actually happened in some poor lost timeline out there. There were real people living in that para-Earth, American citizens, his officers would be rightly critical of him if he started laughing. He just hadn't been prepared to encounter those three words in that order.
"Imagine the most vulgar man in the world," the Commander said, once he felt confident in his ability to keep it together. "Donald Trump is twice as vulgar as that. The only reason the Dems would field him for the White House would be if they wanted to horrify Republicans as much as possible." He was tempted to crack a remark about having not thought even the Democratic Party could sink that low, but he restrained himself. It wasn't his world's Democratic Party, and political dialogue was vitriolic enough without mudraking for scandals from multiple timelines.
"Ah... sir, she said Donald Trump was elected on the Republican ticket."
For a second the Commander thought he'd misheard. "Say again."
"Donald Trump is a Republican President in their world."
"Is he a conservative in their timeline?" the Commander said blankly. "Family man, distinguished service record?"
"She had only vague ideas about his policies but said that the main one she remembered was building a giant wall between the United States and Mexico."
Akio and the Commander looked at each other, and both started to speak at the same time. Military protocol being what it was, that meant the Commander went first. "Can you imagine selective developments or non-developments in military technology that would make a new Maginot Line useful to the USA in the event of war on a Mexican front?" the Commander said.
Akio shook his head. "Extreme deemphasis of air power? I have nothing."
The Commander looked at Major Getherde.
"I - I don't think - I don't think we can understand - there's something very wrong with her world. I said that to her outright and she just nodded. The things she said - I can't summarize, it was a gestalt feeling - that was the largest single thing but there were little things too. She's from a timeline where that is what their lives are like."
"Something went wrong with their advanced biotechnorogy," Akio proposed.
The Commander felt the chill all the way to his ankles. His base's reactor needed a more powerful self-destruct.
Major Getherde glanced back down at her notes. "I had a similar thought," she said. "There could be some drug or supplement that everyone was taking, with undiscovered effects on the brain, like the lead-poisoning theory of the fall of Rome. They'd have no way of knowing that what was happening in their timeline wasn't normal."
The Commander thought that the woman might have an unexplored talent for writing psychological horror stories. Christ, what a terrifying thought.
Major Getherde was still talking. "Another possibility is that it has something to do with their more advanced hyperchip technology. 'Starry' said they'd recently developed the false-reality device that's always five years out according to Popular Science - completely surrounding a person with a binocular 3D vidscreen built into a helmet. That could be having an effect on their psychology, I suppose? People losing contact with reality? Or some broader psychiatric syndrome caused by too much contact with the inhuman logic of computers. An emotional reaction, people clinging to instinct and illogic as a form of protest..." Getherde let out a breath. "I keep wondering whether there's some way for our dimension to launch a rescue mission to their dimension, but I have no idea what we'd do once we got there."
"Let's not get that far ahead of ourselves," the Commander said. "Anything else to report?"
"Our guest seemed oddly interested in hearing about," the woman looked uncomfortable, "well, our sexual standards. I think she was surprised when I told her we were, ah, normal. As if she was expecting to arrive in a culture more... licentious." Major Getherde hesitated. "She seemed surprised that I, personally, was making no attempt to force myself on her. Despite the extreme inappropriateness given the age difference and the serious overall situation and my position as a medical doctor, on a military base where both of us were being recorded at all times, not to mention that she is effectively our prisoner and protected by international conventions!"
"She's a resbian?" Akio said.
The Commander gave the younger man a sideways glance, just to make sure he wasn't leering, but his comport looked as decorous as usual.
"More that she expected me to be homosexual, and - and she thought that's what homosexuals were like!" Major Getherde sounded even more uncomfortable than before.
An intuition tickled at the Commander, born of years of command and experience with subordinates being evasive. He thought again about sci-fi depictions of psionic powers, or implanted hyperchips for reading body language. He needed to ask Major Getherde, in strict confidence and with some urgency, whether the visitor had in fact been right about her - whether the Major had felt a desire to take advantage of their visitor, and properly repressed it. But not with Akio listening. The Japanese were less liberal than modern America about such matters.
"The two packages of virus?" said the Commander, giving the Major a chance to change the subject.
"She seemed surprised that I'd found them at all. Then she said she'd only discuss that with the base commander."
The Commander pursed his lips thoughtfully. It could be a trick to get into his presence. It could also be a legitimate request for any number of excellent reasons. Put Akio in temporary command? The man was as steady as any XO he'd known.
"That reminds me," Major Getherde said. "I'm not sure, but... I think the visitor might have recognized your name when I said it, Commander? She did ask for you by name, after I explained the radio outage and said you were at the top of the current chain of command."
"Ran for President in her timerine, on the Democratic ticket," said Akio, and the Commander shot him a glare.
The Major hesitated. "Actually... I'd have to review the recordings... but in retrospect, I think that mentioning your name was when she stopped acting like I was about to sexually assault her. It was shortly afterward that she first asked for clothing. It's - it's sad that the flag on my uniform wasn't enough. I would have hoped that the Stars and Stripes would mean more than that, even across timelines. Are individual people greater constants than countries? Do genes count for that much? Or fate?" She shook her head. "Sorry, sir, it's hard not to think about - to get distracted by - doctors usually don't have to deal with issues this deep during medical examinations."
"Hmmm..." the Commander hmmmed. Akio's crack there, born of long acquaintance between them and trust enough to jaw about politics, had triggered a thought.
Then the Commander chuckled, unable to help himself despite the severity of the situation.
He'd spotted the joke.
"All right," the Commander said, "I guess I'd better talk with the young lady. Akio, I'm relinquishing command to you pending our recontact with home."
"Sir," Akio said. He hesitated. "Are you certain this is wise?"
"If we trust appearances, this young lady knows one of my alternate selves quite well. Well enough to wind me up some while letting me know that she and I are acquainted. I doubt she made up the story of her dying world from whole cloth, but she did change one detail."
Akio raised his eyebrows again.
The commandant of Heinlein Base leaned back in his chair, an easy motion in the low gravity. Beyond him in the window behind, the searing darkness of the Lunar night stretched out above Mare Imbrium, the white dust blackened beneath it, save where a single spotlight imperishable shone upon the grave of the base's namesake. "Republican President, my ass," said Commander Marcus Adan.

Star Wars is easily the worst franchise to talk about on WhoWouldWin by far. At least with Naruto or Dragon Ball Z or One Punch Man there's some difference in the comments once in a while. But literally, and I mean literally, the replies of every single Star Wars thread, no matter the character, no matter the matchup, are exactly the same every single time without fail.
Here's every Star Wars thread on WhoWouldWin ever:

Star Wars character vs. other character
Round 1: Canon
Round 2: Legends

Top comment with 3k+ upvotes: Star Wars character loses round 1, but in round 2 they absolutely godstomp 10/10 times they speedblitz the other character at FTL speeds and slash them seventeen thousand times in an attosecond with their lightsaber, or they use their Planetary+++ Force abilities to choke the other person to death and while they're choking them they stab them, or they make their heart stop or rip their organs out their chest with the Force in a microsecond. The other character literally can't even hit them because they're FTL and have nanosecond level precog that lets them avoid every hit ever. Palpatine can destroy planets Obi-Wan can open black holes with his mind Luke is literally a Force God who can annihilate half the galaxy with a blink LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO!!!
Reply to that comment with 500+ upvotes: Yeah bro, this is kind of a complete and total godstomp, don't know why OP bothered posting it lol legends always wins LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO!!!
Reply to first comment, score below threshold, hidden: Um, scans?
Now, for all you people unfamiliar with Star Wars, you're probably wondering what "Legends" is. Legends is simply the official term used to refer to the old Expanded Universe content made for Star Wars, so books, comics, anything other than the movies pretty much. After buying Star Wars, Disney went and made the majority of the Expanded Universe part of its own separate non-canon continuity, meaning there's two versions of most Star Wars characters: Canon and Legends. "Star Wars Legends," or just "Legends" is used to refer to the Legends continuity as a whole.
Legends, and I'm brave enough to say this, is the single most wanked series in battleboarding history. The way people talk about it, you'd think every book is a non-stop balls to the wall orgy of FTL and planet-busting feats. It's to the point where you don't have to link any scans or post any clips: just saying the words "LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO" is a bulletproof argument in and of itself.
But is Legends crazy, bro?
The answer is: It's fake. All of it. The feats, the preconceptions... it's all fake.
I can't fucking stand Legends wank, mostly because it kills all discussion of Star Wars on versus sites. I like Star Wars quite a bit, and I'd like to see some intelligent discussion of it in my dumb, pointless hobby. But every attempt at a Star Wars thread is drowned out by the incessant drum of LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO! LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO! LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO! It fucking haunts me, I close my eyes and instead of black it's just the Obi-Wan VS Kakashi Death Battle on loop.
At the suggestion of my therapist, I'm fighting back. This is the beginning of a series of posts where I'm going to be debunking Legends wank I find on sites like VSBW. I decided to start with Palpatine because he's personally the character I see getting the most of it. And besides, this is gonna be my own personal Order 66 on Legends wank. So who else could be more appropriate?

The Claim: Palpatine can make planet-destroying Force Storms on a whim.

When someone mentions planet-busting Palpatine on WhoWouldWin, nine times out of ten this is what they're talking about. You usually don't get links for Legends claims, but for the power of the Force Storm ability, I usually see this one posted when its brought up. It's from a book called The Jedi Path, which is supposed to be an in-universe Jedi manual complete with notations from the characters who owned it. So the quote from Luke - "it has the power to kill worlds" - is an in-universe statement of power.
So, what's Force Storm? Basically its an ability where a hyperspace wormhole is opened using the Force. It can be used to transport people across the galaxy and destroy things, which yes, includes planets according to The Jedi Path. It's a not very commonly seen Force power, first appearing in the Dark Empire comics. Palpatine creates one and uses it to do some major damage to Coruscant and the New Republic fleet. However, he ends up killing himself with the storm accidentally after Luke and Leia interrupt his connection to it.
Palpatine can create Force Storms, Force Storms can destroy planets. So Palpatine's planetary. Seems pretty clean cut, right?
Except, he can't create Force Storms. At least according to Tom Veitch, author of Dark Empire (which had the first appearance of the power). Third line. If you want to read the full 2016 interview, here it is. It's translated from Spanish, but the translation is very direct, at least for the relevant section.
Yep, apparently Force Storms are "in fact a phenomenon that occurs rarely, when the minds of two great Force users meet and struggle with each other at a distance." Straight from the mouth of God, Palpatine can't make them of his own will.
There's probably arguments you could make that he could, like Palpatine claiming he can create them of his own will in-story, but that same scan mentions him lying about how much control he has over the power, so I don't really buy his word. You can say "it's a book, why would he lie," but it's basically his autobiography. Considering he's shouted "unlimited power" at the top of his lungs before, it's clear he's kind of an insane egomaniac. I wouldn't put it beyond him. Some roleplaying guidebooks give him the power in his list of abilities (like if you want to play as him in the game or use him as an enemy) but I feel that's too tertiary to count. And really, it kinda makes sense he can't really pull them out all the time when you think about it. There's two sequels to Dark Empire where he's reborn again in clone bodies, and in none of the sequels does he try to use a Force Storm. Even though it would come in handy, like, a lot.
In any case, if you're arguing Palpatine can make Force Storms, you're arguing against the guy that created Force Storms to begin with. I think he'd know how they work.
For more evidence, here's another interview with Tom Veitch that backs up this other interview.
Basically, Tom reiterates what's said in the other interview, going into a bit more detail. He says that the intended mechanism behind the Force Storm in Dark Empire is the "meeting of two great minds" thing from before, with one being Luke and one being Palpy, with Palpy just being the one who can actually use the storm to his advantage. While he does say that there are other possible explanations, like Luke finding a Sith holocron or saying that the interviewer's suggestion of Palpatine maybe only stumbling across the power recently could work, the intended explanation when the comic was being published was the "meeting of Luke and Palpatine's power" interpretation.
I'd also like to mention the Force Storm's entry from the updated version of the Star Wars Encyclopedia: "A tornado of energy created by great disturbances in the Force. Dark Side Adepts demonstrated limited control over the creation of these storms. Emperor Palpatine claimed the ability to create and control Force storms at will. Light-side practitioners could also band together and create powerful Force storms."
This backs up the "meeting of Luke and Palpatine's power" interpretation in a few ways.
First, going back to the interview, Tom implied that things were kept kind of vague about how the Force Storm works when details had to be hashed out to other publications. So that's probably why both this and the Dark Empire endnotes only say that Palpatine claimed he had the ability to create and control the storms at will.
Second off, I'd like to point out the main description - "A tornado of energy created by great disturbances in the Force." Sounds a bit less like a standard Force power and more like something a bit more exceptional. The destruction of Alderaan caused a great disturbance in the Force, and that was a pretty major event. Also going back to the interview, Tom all but says he made this part of the description up himself. The original description he mentions being in a behind the scenes glossary also calls them "unpredictable" and seems to suggest them being more of an external event.
Third, "Dark Side Adepts demonstrated limited control over the creation of these storms" seems like it could debunk the idea, unless you read it as "multiple Dark Side adepts working together could demonstrate limited control over the creation of a Force Storm," which I think is perfectly reasonable considering the next line about multiple Light-side practicioners having to band together to create one. This final line also gives canon support to the idea of multiple Force users being involved in the creation of a Force Storm.
Yes, there are some sources that say he can make Force Storms of his own will, but for each of those sources there's also one that says it's a claim, and the Dark Empire endnotes prove Palpy isn't 100% trustworthy. Not to mention the other sources are, let's face it, pretty much on the level of WoG too. Just an author saying things about a story outside the context of that story. Do you take diluted, inconsistent, but published WoG from some handbooks, or do you take straight fron the source, consistent for 20 years (going off the second interview) WoG from the author of Dark Empire and creator of Force Storms himself? Personally, I'll take the latter, thanks. You can scream "WoG is fake!" until your face turns blue, I usually do too, but I feel this is consistent and not-off-the-cuff enough to count, and doesn't step on that many toes other than some guides he didn't even write published years after his own work. If you read Dark Empire with this idea in mind, you'll find pretty much everything makes perfect sense.
I've also seen people bring up two things in trying to say that this couldn't possibly be true: one, that we've seen other people make Force Storms of their own power in Legends, and two, that Force Storms naturally occur on the planet Tython. The thing is, we haven't. The only other uses of Force Storm needed an incredibly powerful, magic, sentient staff that absorbs large amounts of Force to pull off, which actually supports the idea that Sith need an external force or push to be able to make a Force Storm, and the "Force storm" on the planet Tython is actually a different thing with the same name.
In any case, I really don't think Force Storms matter that much in the grand scheme of things. Once again, Palpatine doesn't whip these out all the time, and its already been established that it's dubious he's completely making them of his own power, taking into account consistent Word of God, multiple sources saying he only claims he can make them of his own power, and a canon basis for it taking multiple Force users to make one. He'd probably end up killing himself if he tried to make one in a fight, and there's no other evidence to suggest that he has planet-level power anyway other than this one power in this one series that the primary author has said he can't really even do.
Besides, it's not like the power for the Force Storm comes from Palpatine even if you believe (against the author of Dark Empire and creator of the power) that he can make them at a snap of his fingers. If you ignore Veitch's definition of the power, then we're left with stuff like Palpatine's descriptions to go off of, and he explicitly says in both the endnotes and audiobook that the Force Storm utilizes external energy. As I've said, I find his word iffy, but The Jedi Path also calls the Force Storm "pure natural energy," and the previously mentioned magical staff relies on absorbing external energy to create a Force Storm. Once again, even ignoring Veitch's words, it's consistent that it's external energy being used. I guess you could say "all Force is external" though, but even then it's not like Palpatine makes the vortex, he makes a disturbance which creates the vortex. Honestly, the idea you can scale one Force ability to others is weird to me anyways. Like if a guy lifts a rock with TK, what does that say about his mind control capabilities? Could he mind control a being that weighs as much as the rock?
So if you're trying to do a VSBW thing where "using the Force Storms means he has planetary power which he can harness in his other Force attacks," no.
Finally, I'd like to debunk the idea that Palpatine created multiple Force Storms at once in Dark Empire. Post's too big to fit it, so read it here.
To TL;DR it all, there's solid WoG backed up by canon evidence that says Palpy can't make Force Storms, and even if you throw that WoG out, Force Storms aren't applicable in most standard matchups since Palpy would almost certainly kill himself with one in a 1v1 fight because they're fucking massive and he hasn't shown full control over them. His other Force abilities don't scale to Force Storms either.

Verdict: No, he still probably can't on his own, and if he can, they're still not particularly combat applicable and you can't scale his other Force powers to them.

The Claim: Palpatine is a SOLAR SYSTEM BUSTER!

This next thing I'm talking about comes from a novel called Darth Plagueis. This is the book your Legends fan friend won't shut up about.
Basically, the prologue has a highly poetically worded scene describing Palpatine's feelings after killing his master. Some of it has been misinterpreted as actually happening in the context of the story. Here's the scene.
I don't really know what else to say here, it's not actually happening. It's just a flowery description of how Palpatine feels, it's not literally going on. This was spread on VSBW as proof of Palpatine being planet/stasolar system level, I'm assuming because of these specific parts.
Yeah, this is just... again, it's not actually happening. I could go on and say what each line represents about what Palpatine's currently feeling and how its clearly just a reflection of his emotions, but I don't have to. All I have to do is flip over to the last chapter of the book, which describes the same exact scene with a whole lot less flair. For anyone who wants to make the argument that at least the quake happened because the text I linked mentions overturned furniture, it was overturned in the fight between Palpatine and Plagueis. Not by any Force earthquake.
So, yeah. It's just in Palpy's head after he kills his master. Not literal.

Verdict: Learn reading comprehension.

The Claim: Palpatine is 34 thousand times faster than the speed of light.

Of all the Star Wars stats, speed is the fuckiest of all. That's because the main projectile of the series, blaster bolts, are incredibly vague in terms of speed. The movies usually show them as like, Nerf dart to baseball speed, while the novels go as high as calling them lightspeed (they're obviously not, but that's for another post). Since pretty much all speed feats that would involve gunfire in other series instead involve blaster fire, it makes things really annoying to pin down, as well as open to dipshit amounts of wank.
If you open up Palpatine's VSBW page, he's given a speed ranking of "MFTL+," thanks to incestuous scaling, taking blaster bolts as lightspeed due to like 7 dubious statements across 381 books, and a calc of the time his Sith spirit moved across the galaxy to inhabit a new clone body. The calc specifically puts him at 34,292c, or over 34 thousand times faster than the speed of light.
Star Wars characters are fast, guise!
Alright, let me try to explain why this is dumb. First off, why would the speed of Palpatine's spirit be equal to his speed in a mortal body? It's not like he can like, fucking fly through space like his spirit presumably can. I'm also going to guess his spirit weighs less, but, that's straying into dumb territory. To summarize this point: I don't see why Palpatine would be as fast as his disembodied consciousness, and I think it's kinda weird and dumb to assume so.
Second off, here's a few lines of text I want to take a closer look at.

He had spent over a year disembodied, formless, drifting through the maddening void of the Dark Side. He had never foreseen having to transport his spirit so far across space. He had nearly dispersed forever, but he had survived, and now need never fear death again.

According to the Dark Empire Sourcebook, Palpatine traveled "through the maddening void of the Dark Side." Sounds a little different than traveling through actual space.

But in that moment, when flashing blue energy rushed from exploded flesh, the Emperor entered a bodiless transitional state. As conscious Dark Force he was translated across the Galaxy...

According to the Dark Empire Endnotes, he was "translated across the galaxy" as "conscious Dark Force," which again, sounds a little different from traveling the distance in real space as a ghost.
There's other stuff like this too, in fact a guide kinda retcons the entire thing into him possessing an aide who travels to the planet for him. Personally, I think there is far too much weirdness around this "feat" to count it as some sort of actual indication of Palpatine's speed. Force users generally don't seem this fast in the majority of Star Wars media anyway.

Verdict: No.

The Claim: Palpatine scales to other Sith Lords who have CRAZY feats, bro!!1!!!

So, Palpy can't summon planet-destroying Force Storms whenever he pleases, rearrange stars with his own power, or move faster than the speed of light. But, I hear the people scream, what about scaling!?! Palpatine is routinely called the strongest Dark Side user in history, so he should scale to all previous Sith Lords and such, right?
I can actually buy that, yes. There's tons of statements backing up Sheev as pretty much the ultimate Dark Side user, so I think it's reasonable enough to assume he can match his predecessors. So, lets look at all the high end Dark Side stuff I could dig up, and why it's all either fake or not really something you should scale Sidious to. Most of this stuff I found on VSBW. I might be missing one or two things, but honestly, they're probably just fake too..
If you're wondering about the absence of Vitiate and Nihilus, this is going to be a multi-post series, and I'm thinking KOTOR will just get its entire own post. That being said, most of Vitiate's stuff is rituals, which I think Palpatine could replicate but wouldn't really be able to in a standard matchup, and I think Nihilus's status as a wound in the Force explains his unique attributes, and as such I'm not really sure if Palpatine could replicate the things he does. I haven't really done much of the research in that department yet, though, so it's entirely possible I'm wrong.

Random Unnamed Sith Sorceress (and a Triceratops Jedi named Thon)

VSBW notoriously uses buttfuck-long scaling chains in their profiles which usually have several dozen incestuous loops stretching across pages for certain series. It's really, really hard to actually find the feats being scaled off of because of the layers and layers of scaling you need to peel away like onion skin. But, in my research, I've found that approximately 50% of "Planetary Legends" comes from this one feat. The other 50% is Yarael Poof. That'll be elaborated on later.
So, what's the feat? Well, it's about what Wookieepedia dubs "the Devastation of Ambria." Ambria was once a mineral rich planet eyed by mining companies, but was eventually deserted. A Random Unnamed Sith Sorceress (RUSS, from here on out) came across the planet and decided to set up shop, creating a massive obelisk that she performed an ancient Sith ritual with. The ritual devastated the planet's landscape, warping it and killing the native creatures by the thousand.
Alright. Ignoring that this is - at best, being completely generous - only surface wiping, and not planetary as VSBW calls it, there's a fuckton of caveats around the feat. The obelisk that was presumably necessary for RUSS's ritual took centuries to build. This isn't something a Sith can just do on a whim. They need to spend hundreds of years building a fucking obelisk to do it. Not to mention, it requires a "complex ritual" that involves calling on a ton of Dark Side energy, presumably not all from RUSS herself. Oh yeah, and, RUSS died from doing this too. Let's not forget that, she was literally destroyed from doing this.
Palpatine could probably replicate this, yes, but only after building an obelisk and doing a complex ritual. In most matchups he probably won't have the time and materials to do that. I really don't consider it something you can just blindly scale him to - or any Force user, for that matter.
However, VSBW knows this, and has a defense for it. A Triceratops-looking Jedi named Thon was able to lock up all the Dark Side evil left behind on the planet in a lake called Natth. So, according to them, that makes Thon planetary, and thus everyone can scale to it.
However, Thon's cleanup took an unknown amount of time to do. Not to mention he didn't just like, absorb all the lingering evil over the surface of the planet into himself and jizz it out into a lake. He did it by fighting off the evil spirits living on the planet for a bit, then tricking them into drawing close and ensnaring them in a lattice of lightside energy. He also didn't even fix the entire place. To quote Darth Bane: Dynasty of Evil, "the damage was too widespread for the world to ever be completely healed."
I think at that point it's not really something you can power scale off of. Saying Palpatine can casually destroy planets because a random Triceratops Jedi corralled most but not all of the lingering evil on a planet into a lake over an unknown amount of time by tricking Sith spirits is just like, come on dude, that's fucking dumb.
Also, I'd like to point out this is a pretty massive antifeat for the Dark Side, actually. Centuries of work and only a vague surface wiping feat to show for it? When you think every Force user is planetary like VSBW does, this is a pretty bad showing.

Jerec with the Valley of the Jedi

Jerec is a Miraluka Dark Jedi most famous for his appearance in Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II, a classic game starring the fan favorite Kyle Katarn. The Valley of the Jedi is a location of great power that plays an important part in the plot of the game. According to Qu Rahn, a Jedi Master, if Jerec gets his hands on the power in the Valley of the Jedi, he'll be strong enough to trigger supernovas and wipe out entire star systems.

"Jerec, the man who murdered your father, is a great evil. He searches for the location of a sacred place, the Valley of the Jedi. The Force of thousands of Jedi is trapped here. If Jerec captures this power, he will be a creature such as the universe has never seen. A supernova of stars in a fleeting thought—the eradication of life from a star system in a whisper—will be within his power."

So, what exactly is the Valley of the Jedi? Well, the backstory is that there was a war between Jedi and Sith there that culminated in the use of an ancient ritual which killed thousands of Jedi and Sith alike and trapped their souls in the valley. A temple was built there and the place became an incredibly powerful Force nexus.
With all that laid out - remind me why VSBW says Palpatine should scale to this? It's a guy drawing power from the spirits of literally thousands of Force users. There's a ton of statements saying Palpatine is above all other Sith, but I don't really think that includes when they're being amped by the souls of countless other Force users. I feel this is pretty easy to throw out for that reason.
I've seen some reasoning tossed around to try and support this scaling. Namely, that it took the power of Every Jedi Literally Ever to keep Palpatine from rising as a spirit again and just taking some new body in the last Dark Empire series. Except, it really didn't? It took fucking Chex Quest here to put him down.
Read the scene for yourself. The wording here isn't "ugh, he's so powerful I need all the other Jedis help to keep him from rising again, Palpatine is literally stronger than every Jedi ever combined put together," it's "me, and the Force, and the other Jedi will keep him from reviving." The New Essential Chronology doesn't even bother to mention the other Jedi spirits, most sources give the credit to Chex Quest, and I think it's really sketchy to try and justify scaling Palpatine to a guy being amped by thousands of Force user spirits because his own spirit was pulled down by a Chex Quest guy and kept down with the assistance of other Jedi spirits and the Force itself too. We're getting into the same territory as Triceratops Jedi putting Sith spirits created by centuries of work in a lake here, there's just too much nonsense going on to get anything out of it.
Anyways, TL;DR: Palpatine shouldn't scale to this. I can buy him scaling off of other Sith Lords, but not when they're being empowered by literally thousands of other Force users.

Aleema Kato with the Sith Corsair

The Sith Corsair is a massive superweapon ship that can pull the core out of a star and blow them up outright, though seemingly though some sort of chain reaction. A Sith sorceress named Aleema Kato uses it in one comic, as well as a guy named Naga Sadow in another. It requires the manipulation of these special crystal things that just brim with Dark Side energy.
I don't really think Palpatine scales to Sith-created superweapons. Like, I don't really see why he would? The statements are that he's the most powerful Sith Lord, not the most powerful Sith Lord including Sith using superweapons. The power's coming from the weapon, not the Sith using it. It's a serious reach to try and say that, because a Sith made ship with special crystals in it exists that Palpatine can equal it in power.

Naga Sadow with the Sith Meditation Sphere

Another "person with the thing." Once again, I don't think you should scale Palpatine to Sith Lords using some piece of fucking equipment. When Legends writers type out "Palpatine is the strongestest Sith Lord in history!" I don't think they mean "Palpatine is the strongestest Sith Lord in history (including certain Sith Lords at the time they were tapping into large reserves of power that isn't theirs to begin with)!" I'm just repeating myself at this point, all this shit is the same kind of fake.
To get this over with, the Sith Meditation Sphere is an eyeball-shaped spaceship piloted by Sith Lord Naga Sadow. It's equipped with advanced Sith technology that amplifies Naga Sadow's Force abilities to an unknown extent, but seemingly pretty high given how they describe the technology as being developed and perfected over centuries and millenia.
Personally, I think the Sith Meditation Sphere amps Sadow a lot. Like, a lot a lot. With the Sphere, it's claimed Sadow can destroy stars. I don't really think Sadow is anywhere close to that alone, considering he uses the Force to pelt a guy with rocks in a fight to the death instead of just immediately turning him to red mist with his star level destructive power. Not to mention he had to use the above mentioned Sith Corsair to blow up a star at the end of The Fall of the Sith Empire comic series instead of his own power or anything. I'd also like to point out the Meditation Sphere being star-busting only comes from one guide which incorrectly recaps the comic it's trying to recap. In the comic, he uses the Sith Corsair to blow up a star, not the Meditation Sphere. Even ignoring that or calling it some kind of retcon, it still has the same problems.
So, yeah. Same justification as the last two, doesn't scale cause the feats are amped by a superweapon thing, and I don't think the "strongest Sith Lord" statements take into account Sith using a superweapon or drawing power from some outside source. I mean, Palpatine's certainly stronger than the guys with the dumb helmets turning dials and throwing switches on the Death Star, which can blow up planets, but nobody seriously uses that to scale him to planetary.
Huh, wait a minute. Three Sith in a row can't reach star level without some kind of massive amp or incredibly powerful tool. There's almost a pattern here... almost like, maybe these Sith guys can't blow up stars with their mind or something...

Wutzek and the World Razer

These two are different, but I'm lumping them together because the reasoning is the same. Wutzek is a weird Force being that appears in a total of one comic book (and a canceled novella). The World Razer is a weird Force being that appears in a total of one mission in an MMO (and a canceled novella).
I'll talk about Wutzek first. Basically, he shows up in one weird UK story of the classic Star Wars comics. He's introduced as a bunch of glowing lights encased in a glass thingy. According to this weirdo that captured the crew of the Falcon, he's a "demon, a Force creature of unimaginable power." It's believed his kind owned the universe long ago.
In the comic, there's a statement of Wutzek's power that puts him at like, planet or solar system. Though the most we see him do is incinerate some people and blow up a ship, then grow big and fly off.
Next up, World Razer. Almost is nothing is known about this guy, even in universe. Here's his codex entry from the Old Republic game.

"Almost nothing is known of the ancient being known as the World Razer. No one has seen or spoken to the creature for thousands of years; the Rakata’s cryptic warnings suggest the World Razer is Belsavis’s oldest prisoner, and that the prison was first constructed to hold the terrible entity whose hunger consumed a thousand worlds. According to the Rakata inscriptions in the Tomb, it took the combined might of the Infinite Empire to subdue the World Razer, and an entire planet to contain its fury. If such a creature were ever released, its rage might very well shatter the galaxy."

Wow. "Shatter the galaxy?" Clearly this thing is galaxy level! Or... y'know, it's just fancy language describing how it could destroy the galaxy over a large span of time. That's at least the impression that I get from this one quote from the World Razer. Other in-game dialogue suggests the World Razer can destroy planets and stars as well.
Sidenote: There's an infamous speed calc made off this statement which assumes a literal timeframe of one day based on what this character says about it happening "tomorrow." The character uses the word "yesterday" in the same scene to talk about something that happened a while in the past, so it's probably not literally being used to refer to one day. Sometimes the word "tomorrow" is used to refer to just the future in general, y'know, like how sometimes Superman is called "the Man of Tomorrow." Or, "Tomorrowland." If you look on dictionary.com, it's literally the second definition of the word. God, I have to explain words now, fuck Star Wars wank dude this is what it does to you.
Moving on. Here's the thing about these guys: we know next to nothing about them. For fuck's sake, we don't even see the World Razer, even its in-game codex starts off with "almost nothing is known about this thing." In regards to the speed calc, we don't even know how it moves - for all we know it could warp itself places through hyperspace like the space whales from Rebels or some shit like that. Wutzek we know almost even less about, he's just apparently some Force demon from the beginning of the universe.
Why is Palpatine getting scaled to these things? They're incredibly vague, ancient powers that definitely seem to be above any Force user we've seen. Are we really getting to the point where we're saying the main villain of the franchise is equal in power to two incredibly vague characters with one appearance each, for the sole reason of "they exist in the same universe?" This is just so stupid, and in my opinion, not legitimate in the slightest.
About that canceled novella I mentioned: it confirms both of these guys as like, both being ancient Force gods. If the book was published, that'd be pretty solid evidence against Palpy scaling.

Darth Plagueis

Did you ever hear about the multi-continental feat of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. Because it's fake as shit.
This text comes from the Darth Plagueis novel I mentioned earlier:

Later it would be said by Naboo and Gungan alike that they couldn’t recall a colder winter than the one that followed Hego Damask’s autumnal visit to their world. The rivers and even the falls below Theed froze; the rolling plains and tall forests were blanketed three meters deep with snow; plasmic quakes rocked the Gallo Mountains and the Lake Country, the Holy Places and the undersea city of Otoh Gunga; and many of the egresses of the underwaterways that hollowed the planet were blocked by ice floes.

Basically, Plagueis goes to the planet Naboo, and afterwards they have a really bad winter. This has been calced by good ol' NarutoForums (the best site for VS debating) to say Plagueis can output 5.036 petatons of power!
The thing is, there's no evidence to suggest that Plagueis had any hand in this. Like, he's never given credit for the bad winter. It's just a thing that happens. Assuming he did it is like... really, really weird. He goes to other planets in the story and there's never a bad winter there after he comes. It's literally just some random bad weather, he didn't do shit, you people are desperate.

Darth Bane

This one isn't serious, I just wanted to share this cause I think it's really fucking funny.
One time when a VSBW person came on a server I was on, they were trying to argue planetary Star Wars with this. "Bane's world-crushing strategy!" Why are you so goddamn desperate? It's a fucking cropped book blurb or something, shut up. I don't know what this scan is particularly from, but its referring to something he's doing as a general, not Bane literally crushing a planet with the Force, Jesus Christ.
This is 90% of Legends wank, just nonsense taken out of context, then completely and almost willingly misinterpreted. I swear, there's a single shriveled-up little brain cell being passed around at VSBW like the Fates from Hercules.

Verdict: Either the feats are fake or he doesn't scale.

So, after all that, I bet you're wondering how strong Sidious actually is then. The answer is: fuck if I know. Do you know how many goddamn Legends books and comics there are that he's in? I didn't read that all for this thread, but I can tell you this: he sure as shit isn't planetary or fucking solar system level. If there was actually a single, solid planet busting feat for him, or any other Force user you can scale others to, you'd see it paraded around every versus forum until the heat death of the universe. But guess what? There isn't.
That's why you only ever see shit like Random Unnamed Sith Sorceress taking centuries to ruin a planet's surface or Yarael Poof and his non-feat being brought up. Speaking of that fucking long-necked bastard, I'm retconning this old post I made about him into the first episode of this series. Go read it if you're wondering about the infamous "Yarael Poof holding back a planetary explosion" feat, or re-read it if you want to see me address a defense I found, I added a new part to it.
Gotta say though, making this post kinda made me want to go through and make an actually comprehensive Legends Palpatine respect thread. The one on the Respect Threads subreddit is pretty laughable, since it's literally just a segment of the "Force powers" section of his Wookieepedia article with added commentary. All the other ones I can find are pretty dogshit too. So maybe I'll put that out sometime, I don't know.
Oh yeah, one last thing. If you're wondering about other characters you think Palpatine should scale to, like Legends Luke (everything you think you know about him is lies), Vitiate and Nihilus (explained above), and Abeloth (I haven't read any Abeloth stuff but it's probably all fake too, given Legends's track record), they're getting their own posts in the future. This post is specifically about Palpatine and C-list Sith stuff.

I've posted here a bunch of times, and I see some recurring issues. I'm an agent in Nashville, and I wanted to at least write up some advice. I'm sorry it's long, lol.
Picking a RealtoAgent: Please don't go by based on reviews or your wife's best friend's cousin. This is quite possibly the biggest investment of your life, don't throwaway one of the most important aspects of it.
Online reviews are easily manipulated, so if I stole your puppy's toy, most likely your review isn't going to make it. Realtor and FB allow you to control your reviews, so unless it's 5 star or a very glowing 3 star, it's not staying up there. Especially on FB, those reviews aren't vetted at all, so people can have their mothers basically say "So and So is excellent to work with, attention to detail, blah blah blah".
In the same vein, don't go with someone you happened to know by chance. Look, I understand if your best friend is a realtor or someone that's very close to you, but be very careful. It kinda feeds off the theory that it's an easy job that anyone can do, and as many of you have/will find out, it's not the case. You want someone that actually knows the job but can also communicate it to you efficiently.
One thing to understand is that, the best seller in a market doesn't necessarily indicate the best agent. The biggest part of the job is lead generation, which is advertising, networking, referrals, etc, all of which don't really have a direct impact on the job once you actually sign. There are agents that spend thousands every month to show up on Zillow or Google searches because that's the hardest part of the job. It doesn't necessarily mean anything in terms of quality.
There are also teams that usually branch off from one famous person, so all those reviews you may see for a particular realtor doesn't mean you'll actually work with them, unless it's a mega deal. You'll most likely work with a team member unless it's a major purchase (think million plus), so know that about teams.
My suggestion: Pick three or four realtors that you like, and interview them. See which one works best with you. Communication is key, especially as a buyer, because you are constantly changing things. You have to get along with the person, but it has to match with you. For example, I babble a lot because I feel like explaining everything, which may or may not mesh with you. Some people just want someone to open doors, while some want their hands held through the process. You interview them, discuss your wants/needs in terms of the agent/client relationship (not the house) and see which one fits best. It may or may not be the most experienced agent or the most put together person, which is why you need this talk. Please don't go with the first person that popped up without talking to them. Think of yourself as a business person that is looking for help expanding. You wouldn't hire the first person that walks in the door, you want to know if the person can help or not.
Take two days, meet with 3-4 or how many more until you find someone that you communicate well with. This is absolutely vital in the process.
It’s also important to note that the agency that you sign does not lock you in to the agent, even if it states exclusive. So if the agent is bad, you can ask to terminate the contract. You would fill out a waiver that states that the houses you saw together won’t be bought by you for X amount of days. This is to prevent people from looking at homes with one realtor, only to use a family member at the end once they find a home. There might be a fee involved in breaking the contract, especially if you saw a bunch of homes.
Listing Agent: This is the agent that is representing the seller. That agent is bound by their fiduciary duty to the seller, they couldn't care less about you. If I'm the listing agent, I'm looking out to get the best deal for the seller.
In some places you can be a dual agent (it's technically legal in TN but not allowed by my office) where you represent both sides, but it's rare and almost always one person is getting screwed in that deal.
I've seen this a few times, in real life and here, so I wanted to clear it up. Just because an agent lists the house, you don't have to work with them to buy that house. It's not like you can only buy the house through that agent. When an agent lists the house, they put it up on the MLS for everyone to see. The MLS then feeds sites like Zillow. So if a house is listed by say Keller Williams, it doesn't mean you can only buy that through Keller Williams, anyone can buy it through any agency, or even without an agent. I thought this was pretty self explanatory, but I've gotten this a ton where people wanted it to be cleared up.
Remember the listing agent is representing the seller, so any information you share with them isn't protected. So if you're like "I really like this house, I need to move within 3 weeks", you can bet the sellers will know and use that as leverage.
Selling Agent (Buyer's Agent): is the one that's representing you in the deal, has a fiduciary duty to look out for your interests. This is the person you share your concerns like "I really like this house, I need to move within 3 weeks" and then formulate a plan together. This person is your point of contact within the transaction, the one that helps you with everything. Think of a wedding coordinator but one that's not just centered around the bride. That is why you have to communicate well with this person, because you are going to be in consistent contact with them throughout the process.
Commission: So when the listing agent (seller's agent) agrees to list the house, they have a commission agreement with the seller. So it'll be like say "6% of purchase price as commission" to the listing agent. Then that agent turns around and offers (usually half but obviously could be different) half to an agent that bring them the deal from the MLS. So it'll be like "Buyer's agent to get 3%". So each agent keeps 3% in this scenario (no set numbers just hypothetical).
Here's the rub, the buyer doesn't impact this. There is no section on the Purchase Sale Agreement contract that deals with the commission. If you are my client and our contract offer is accepted, there is a separate contract that I send directly to the seller's agent agreeing on the commission. It doesn't have signatures or releases for the buyer.
In this scenario, the seller is paying for the buyer's agent's (your agent) commission because it's coming out of that 6% they already agreed upon.
When you first sign with the buyer's agent, you sign an agency contract where you outline what you want. Essentially, it just means that person is your agent but there is a section that mentions the commission percentage.
So you write 3% commission, but the seller is only offering 2.5%? This is where you can pay the .5% yourself or if it's not a laborious deal, the agent might just waive it. This is again, where you work with the person that you get along with the best will help you out.
Home Search: Back in the day, if you wanted to buy a home, you met up with an agent, described your needs, and they faxed you a bunch of houses that fit the criteria. You then picked what you liked, and saw the house with the agent driving you around.
That's not the case anymore. Sites like Trulia, Zillow and others get their feed directly from the MLS. You have your own filters, and you can see the pictures and narrow down the choices. It's not the job to sift through homes to find the perfect ones for you. So when you see Love it/List it and the agent randomly takes them to a home, that's not real life, that's TV. You wouldn't randomly go to a house without knowing much information about it, but it's presented that way because the real target audience is you watching the show, therefore to create a similar effect you "find out" about the house together. It's to build a connection with the buyer so you can relate to them. This is also why people think the job is easier because "they are doing the home search part" but that's the easiest part of the job. Heck, sometimes when I'm bored, I'll browse homes myself to see them.
Nowadays, we don't usually drive you around (especially in Covid times) because it's easier to meet up somewhere and then drive our separate ways, than meet at point A, then go to B and C together, then come back to point A again. It's much easier to meet up at point B, then drive to C. You don't really need to go to the office to sign an offer, almost everything is done online.
Market Stats: To understand your leverage, you need to understand the market. You'll hear terms like "hot market/seller's market, etc" but need to translate that into your situation. Things you should know.
LP/SP - List price to Sale price. Essentially, what are people asking for and what are they actually getting. In a seller's market that is hot, you will see stats above 100% sometimes, which means that on average people are getting more than what they are asking for, or a red hot seller's market. When you do this, you also narrow down the field in your price range. So for a 350K offer, LS/SP for the 300-400K range. It doesn't help you if the $5 million home only got $4 million.
DOM: Days on Market is pretty simple, how many days has it been on the market. This indicates if a home is priced right or if it's overpriced. Or if there is something wrong with it. The longer it's on the market, the more curious you should be as to why.
Tip: If a house goes under contract, and then appears back on the market within 10-15 days, make sure you do not waive the inspection contingency. The inspection is usually the first thing that happens after a contract is signed, and usually has X amount of days for it happen, and then Y days (depending on state) for a repair proposal to be accepted/denied. If they don't agree, contract falls through, house comes back on the market.
Price per sq ft: This usually indicates the size of the house you can generally afford in an area. For example, I can get a bigger home in Nashville for 500K than Beverley Hills for 500K. You want to know the average of an area, multiply your desired sq ft range to get a basic idea.
Know the builders, especially in new construction sites. Sometimes you will see a home that is perfect for your needs, under your budget in a desired area. Check into the builders because many companies have a cheap version of their construction company. Think Chevy-GMC-Cadillac and know which one is the builder for the house you are looking at. Your agent could help.
Commute: You want to know how long it takes for you to commute to a potential home. I'm not sure how post-Covid it impacts real estate, but this was extremely important before. You can go to Google maps, put in the address of work and potential home and pick the option to see the average times when you leave at say 5 in the morning on a Friday. Be careful now to go back to pre-Covid dates because there's less traffic now, and it may not be the same time in the future.
You will need these things to help you with the search, albeit there are more factors involved based on individual circumstances.
Agent Disclosure: There are certain things the agent can't really tell you because it's against federal laws or there is a liability issue.
Neighborhood: I can't say this is a great neighborhood or this is a bad neighborhood because then it falls under steering. I can direct you to websites that rank the place, crime stats, census data, etc, but I can't make you go one way or another. So if you ask something like "Hey, is this a good place to raise my family?" Expect a very non-involved answer.
Financial Advice: We aren't really allowed to give you financial advice, but rather direct you to a lender or financial advisor. It's hard sometimes because I do accounting, but I can't act in that manner unless you directly hired me as an accountant. So if you ask something like "How much down payment should I put down?" Expect an answer that leads you to a lender or basic information like XYZ loans require 3.5%
Schools: Same thing with neighborhoods, mainly because people sue based on recommendations. You can get plenty of sites that rank schools and all that information, but I can't tell you if this school is great or if you'll be lucky your kids can tie their shoes at graduation.
Home Inspection: I can't act as an inspector, but rather point things out to you, that need to be asked at inspection. "Oh this could be a sign of water damage" rather than "Yup, that's water damage". It's semantics but it's the world where coffee cups need to be labeled as hot.
Contract Offer: One of the first things you should do with an agent is go over the contract. Yes, it's long and it's boring as heck. You want to know what each section means in a contract, before you write it. It's not just the price that you should care about.
Price: Obviously self explanatory.
What's included: This is where you have to get in writing what is included with the offer. Part of the contract outlines what is generally included, which should be anything bolted in or attached. So the stove, a built in microwave, dishwasher but not the refrigerator, or the flat screen TV. The mount to the TV might be included. So you want to know what is generally included in your market. Then you add anything else that you want included in the home, say that sofa they had or the washedryer.
What's you want removed: Maybe they have some junk in the backyard, you can specify that it'd be removed, or anything else you want to make sure the seller doesn't leave behind.
Leased Items: You want to let them know that you either want a leased item or not. You usually want to avoid this, especially in cases like say a dish antenna or solar panels, because then you are taking over the lease from the seller, and you aren't sure of the costs associated with it.
Earnest Money: This is essentially a deposit that you give to escrow to show you are negotiating in good faith. Usually about 1-2% of offer price, but that differs from market to market. The money is held until something happens with the contract, either executed at closing or terminated beforehand (with the distribution based on termination instructions). So if the contract goes through, you retain the money because it's just added to down payment or closing costs. If it doesn't, then it's based on contingencies if you get it back or not.
Contingencies: Know what are some of the contingencies that are available to you in the offer, and what can also be added. Not everything that you may want would be written in the pre-drafted contract, but you can add them via addendum before sending in the contract.
First of all, a contingency is basically "if X happens, Y can happen, if X doesn't happen, I retain the right for Y to happen, or Z to happen"
Financial Contingency: Essentially, you are saying that I need to qualify for X amount of financing for this deal. Always check this unless you are buying full cash offer. Otherwise, you are saying that if I can't get financing, I can still afford this home. So if you lose your job in the middle of it, and can't get a mortgage, you will lose that earnest money for sure, and risk possible litigation to perform (basically fulfill the contract). If you do have this and you can't get financing to the percentage, you can use it to get your earnest money back.
Appraisal Contingency: This essentially means that the offer is contingent on the appraisal matching or exceeding the offer price. The bank will fund the mortgage for the lower of appraisal price or market price (the one the house will sell for).
So if you offer 500K with 10% down and appraisal comes in at 450K, the mortgage only goes to 450K. So your 50K down payment comes in at 11%, but you are on the hook to pay that extra 50K out of pocket and it doesn't go anywhere. You don't get equity out of it because the mortgage is only for 450K and that's what they deem the house is worth.
Tip: In hot markets, sellers sometimes won't accept appraisal contingencies because they know the house won't appraise. Buyers will offer a higher price to start, get the appraisal and see it's lower, and negotiate the price down based on it.
Inspection Contingency: IMO, the most important one in the contract, as this states you have the right to have an inspection on the house. I will never recommend anyone waive this unless they have money to blow. You get a certain amount of days to conduct an inspection (state specific), and your inspection must be done in that time. If you don't conduct the inspection in that period, and send in a repair proposal, the seller isn't obligated to fix anything because you missed your window. You conduct your inspection, get the inspection report, and then ask for repairs. You don't send over the entire report, but rather just the aspects that you want fixed. You then have a set amount of days (again state specific) to negotiate back and forth. If you agree, you write it as an amendment to the contract and move forward. If you don't agree, you have the right to move forward regardless, or choose to walk away with the earnest money. If you don't have this contingency or if you missed your period, and you choose to walk away, then you may not get that earnest money back.
There are plenty of other ones that you can google : Home Sale Contingency, Title, Kick Out, etc.
Escalation Clause: You can put an escalation clause on your offer by saying I offer 300K but will escalate to say 340K if there are other offers.
Tip: Most likely you are pretty much going to pay the top of that escalation clause. You are basically telling the seller that you are willing to pay up to X amount if someone else makes an offer close by. Agents are supposed to provide proof of an offer, but there's nothing preventing a cousin of the seller making an offer for 339K. It's not ethical, but when it comes to money, people tend to bend the rules, so be careful.
You'll need to understand all of this to make an educated offer. If it's rejected, rinse and repeat. If accepted:
Offer Accepted:
Escrow money is the first thing that needs to be sent out. I like to have the title company hold it, but you can specify who holds it in the contract. You will need to get a check from the bank and send it in, and send a copy to the listing agent to show proof that it's been deposited.
Inspection period, know it from before. Usually the buyer's agent will either be present or talk to the inspector to get an idea of what the issues are. They don't follow them around like a toddler but they'll talk to them to get a better idea of their opinions.
You want to talk to the agent and go through the report and understand what is wrong, what needs to be fixed, etc. Know that houses aren't perfect so there will always be something wrong.
You then decide which things need to be fixed, send a repair proposal. Once you send that repair proposal, your inspection period is over. You can schedule as many inspections within the stated days at first, but it ends when you send in the proposal. So if you have 10 days for inspection, and 5 days for proposal negotiations and you send it in on the 4th day, you no longer have those 6 days. The inspection period is over and the proposal period starts. At least in TN.
Then based on contingencies, you can walk away or agree to move forward.
Once the inspection resolution period is over, you and your agent are mostly dealing with the mortgage process. The lender will require the contract, the title company will require the contracts, and you are going to hand over credit information to the lender.
It is vital that you don’t make big purchases at this time that will impact your credit score. New cars or furniture or anything that could impact it, because the lender will run your credit right before closing, and if something pops up, they may not proceed. Countless stories of closings not happening because they bought furniture or appliances for the new home right before closing. Wait until closing is funded and then go shopping.
It’s during this time that communication with your agent is vital as well because you are going to be pulled in all kinds of directions. You need to coordinate logistics, like getting your address changed, telling your rental landlord, work, mail forwarding, etc. Most likely your agent will have a checklist for you, but you are going to be busy. In the meantime, your agent needs to send contract documents, amendments, to all interested parities (you, seller, their agent, lender, closing company) and keep track of all appointments.
The bank will order an appraisal (as I mentioned before) and they will go with the lower price from the appraisal or the market price (the one you are paying). If the appraisal comes in low, you have the right to negotiate. Your agent can get on the phone with the listing agent and negotiate a middle ground, where the price comes in lower. You do have the right to walk away here (if you have the appraisal contingency) but be warned that the inspection fee and appraisal fee (roughly $1000-1200) will be lost. You’ll need to pay that again for the next home you go under contract for. However, the seller also is losing a bit because they have to disclose what you provided them in the inspection repair proposal, so if the HVAC is broken, they now have to disclose it. They would also have to go through the process of others seeing the house again and all. Therefore, both sides have some motivation to negotiate here, although don’t expect major concessions in a seller’s market because they can get back up offers pretty quickly.
Pick your closing dates carefully, you don’t want it on a Friday because if a financial institution closes for the day, you are stuck until Monday. Same with holidays. It’s safer to pick a day in the middle of the week and in the morning if possible.
It’s a long process and something that needs very good communication, especially the first time. Make sure you find an agent that can guide you through, and you don’t feel afraid to ask questions. I have this saying, that I don’t want the Assistant Principal feeling when I’m working with someone, dating back to my high school days. You don’t want to be intimidated by anyone working the field, you want to know that your concerns will be answered. There are no stupid questions, so it’s all about understanding.
I know this is a very long post, but just some thoughts I had. I’ll probably break it down in more detail when I get my blog going again, but take it section by section. Anyway, hope this helps.