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A very English problem, a very real conspiracy and a plea for help
I thought I’d bring to your attention the current plight of Wigan Athletic, an English football (soccer) team who play in the Championship (1 league below the Premier League). A brief history below but please bear with me until we get to the recent news featuring the actual conspiracy to defraud by Dr. Choi Chiu Fai (Stanley). Wigan Athletic were elected to the football league in 1978 and after many years gained promotion to the Premier League in 2005 until they were relegated in 2013.Along the way Wigan got to the League Cup Final in 2005 losing to Manchester United and won the FA Cup (the holy grail of English football) by beating Manchester City in 2013. The success of Wigan Athletic is mainly down to a local businessman, Dave Whelan. Whelan took control of the club in 1995. It was Whelan’s passion, financial input and backing of various managers that saw Wigan elevated from a lower division club to a club who competed from 2005–2013 in the Premier alongside the likes of Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool Manchester United, Manchester City etc... Wigan also qualified for the Europa Cup (old UEFA cup) for 2014-2014. Whelan sold the club to the Dr. Choi Chiu Fai owned International Entertainment Corporation (IEC ) in 2018 and it was announced that Former Everton boss Joe Royle and his son Darren will now join the board. Darren was to replace David Sharpe (Whelan’s Grandson) as chairman, while Joe was to become a director. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41636508 IEC are a Hong Kong-based, Cayman Islands-registered company which owns a hotel and casino in the Philippines. It is believed that Darren Royle introduced the Whelan family to IEC and has connections to KB88 a betting company based in the Philippines who are Wigan's shirt sponsors, the relevance of this will become apparent later. When Whelan sold the club to IEC, the club was in a very good position financially and at the point of sale was debt free. The conspiracy: As with all UK football the impact of the Covid outbreak saw Wigan and all other top-tier teams without revenue from gates and matchday purchases, however the league was resumed on the 20th June without fans and Wigan just above the relegation zone. Despite their lowly league position Wigan restarted their season with a 2-0 win over Huddersfield. They then went on to beat Blackburn 2-0 (27th June) and Stoke City 3-0 (30th June). These results gave Wigan Athletic a boost up the table and left them eight points clear of the relegation zone with six matches left to play. In the month of June, Wigan Athletic were sold again to Next Leader Fund LP. Their major shareholder is Dr. Choi Chiu Fai the same man who is the majority shareholder and chairman of IEC who sold the club to NLF. Initially NLF was majority owned by the same majority owner of IEC, Dr Choi Chiu Fai, with Au Yeung as a minority shareholder until Au Yeung was announced as the owner of more than 75%. In doing so NFL agreed a loan from IEC for the amount of 24.36 million pound sterling. The loan attracted an interest rate of 8% rising to 20% if the loan wasn’t repaid within a year or if the club defaulted on payments. The English Football League applies a deduction of 12 points for any club going in to administration (this is important). This will be applied at the end of the current season if Wigan Athletic finish above the relegation zone or in the next season if Wigan Athletic get relegated. Currently a 12 points deduction puts Wigan Athletic firmly at the bottom of the league and makes them favourites to be relegated After the takeover had been agreed and ratified by the English Football League (EFL) the club was put in to administration, this was 7 days after the deal was done. The reasons for the club being put in to administration was stated as Covid, Brexit and loss-making finances of the Championship. Wigan Athletic fans rallied around to investigate Choi and Yeung to see what they could dig up and one Wigan fan confronted EFL chairman Rick Parry and secretly filmed him saying that administration was linked with a bet in Philippines on Wigan being relegated. A single bet may be stretching it a bit but playing the exchanges knowing that at least one club is guaranteed to go down is not. As unbelievable as it sounds it does look like the plan was to cash in on Wigan Athletic being relegated but after we restarted the season with 3 straight wins lifting Wigan right out of the relegation zone the only option open to them was to put the club in to administration guaranteeing that Wigan would have 12 points (equal to 4 wins) deducted. We know that Dr. Choi Chiu Fai (Stanley) is a high stakes poker play and a major gambler and that he has been involved in quite a few ‘dodgy dealings’ in the past. He also appears in the Panama Papers ( https://offshoreleaks.icij.org/nodes/12163042 ) but so far our efforts to track down Au Yeung haven’t been that successful. It should also be noted that for someone to own a football club in England they need to pass a ‘fit and proper' test administered by the EFL. I cannot see a reason that even a cursory glance at the takeover would not have raised multiple red flags. We now have the support from our local MP and the leader of the opposition but I cannot express in words how much this club means to the community, a true family club left devastated by Dr Choi Chiu Fai and Au Yeung. I reach out to the autists, fellow conspiracy people and justice seekers to help us fight this and dig up all you can find. We are all working hard to raise funds to try and get the club through to the end of the season but all I'm asking for is any information you may have on the main protagonists or associates (unless of course you want to donate). We hope that we can survive as a club and plan to use all the relevant evidence we can gather to help us to to appeal the 12 points deduction. I realise that there is a large contingent from across the pond and we play football with different shaped balls but any help at all will be really appreciated. I'd also appreciate any suggestions on how we could get the information of our current plight to more people. Links: Rick Parry video : https://twitter.com/i/status/1278729830645850113 Request for investigation : https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/53309675 Fan lettesummary : https://twitter.com/JayWhittle6/status/1278616643724328960/photo/1 Crowdfunder : https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/official-wigan-athletic-football-club-fundraiser TLDR: Help wanted in investigating a dodgy loan\betting scam relating to an English football club involving Hong Kong businessmen(?) and a very suspect review of the owner by the English Football League. PN: I had to create a new account as I can't login with my old one (not that I ever had anything worth posting).
A Brief History of the Glazer's Failing Ownership of United, and Why the Notion that They Are Not to Blame for the Club's Decline is Beyond the Pale (x-Post from r/soccer)
I posted the following comment in a thread on soccer yesterday, and one of your lads kindly asked me to post it here for the United community to read. First though, a confession: I'm a Liverpool fan (*vinyl screech*). Now, at this point I'm not going to say that "I come in peace" or other such bollocks, nor am I here to gloat at your club's current misfortunes. I wrote this comment because for me this goes far deeper than football rivalries or petty schadenfreude. Manchester United is a proud and historic British institution, and the way that it has been shamelessly exploited, mismanaged and bled dry by the the current regime is a national disgrace that for me exemplifies a lot of what is going wrong with football and in fact this country as a whole at the moment. What's equally galling to me is that there are many people here on reddit and other forums who, either through ignorance of the facts or misplaced allegiances, still defend the Glazers for it. As a Liverpool fan I can relate better than most. Like the Glazers, our previous owners Hicks & Gillett bought our club in the mid 2000s with leverage and then unceremoniously dumped the debt onto the club. A decade ago we were an inch away from administration and ruin until John Henry and FSG saved our arses. If you think that can't happen to your club too, then you've not been properly paying attention. So, without freddy adu, here is a no-bullshit guide to the history of the Glazer ownership saga, warts and all... I see a lot of people defending the Glazers on reddit lately, and usually with the same breath mocking Man Utd fans in a derisive tone for being fickle. "Look how much money they've spent", they'll say, or maybe point to patsy Woodward for orchestrating the on-field shambles. For those of us who have been around long enough to witness the slow-motion train wreck that has been the Glazer's tenure from the beginning however, it has been crystal clear for some time that the Glazers are the authors of their own (or rather the club's) misfortune. For those who are OTL or maybe think the Glazers have done nothing wrong, I'd like to regale you all with a tale of the greatest heist in football history. Like a bad crime novella, it involves intrigue, dirty business practices and, perhaps most bizarrely all, a bucket load of horse cum. First things first though, dear readers, let me reassure you all that this is not a knee-jerk reaction by United fans to their team's current atrocious form, nor is it born of envy as a consequence of the brilliant resurgency of their noisy neighbours in Manchester and Merseyside (heh). In fact, these protests have been going on quietly behind the scenes ever since the Glazers first took over the reigns of the club 15 years ago... Let us go back in time now to the EPL at the turn of this century. Manchester United, guided by the savant-like managerial talents of Alex Ferguson, were dominating English football like never before. A decade of almost unparalleled success on the field had elevated United to the pinnacle of British football, both in fan popularity and, more importantly for our story, financially. The club had built a solid international reputation throughout the 90s as a pioneer of the commercial aspect of the game. As an institution they were THE benchmark that all other clubs in Europe measured themselves by. They were the first footy club in Europe (maybe the world) to become publicly listed on a stock exchange, and by the early 2000s had a market capitalisation on the London Stock Exchange of around £750 million, making it by far the most valuable club in world football. They were a model club in every sense, posting annual profits of upwards of £30m which was faithfully pumped back into Ferguson's squad every summer. The post-9/11 world was in some senses a bleak and uncertain time to live in, but what seemed a sure bet to many of us was that Manchester United would continue to be the richest and therefore most successful team in England for evermore. After all, what was there to stop them? Enter the Glazer family, proprietors of a Florida NFL franchise and a failing shopping mall empire. Beginning in the early 2000s, the reclusive head of the family, Malcolm Glazer, began quietly but diligently acquiring shares in Manchester United. Once he had reached 30% ownership, Glazer senior was obliged by stock exchange rules to make an offer for the remaining shares, which no doubt had been his plan all along. The United board led by CEO David Gill were at first resistant to Glazer's attempt at a hostile takeover and rebuffed his advances, making stern recommendations to the shareholders to reject the offer. Of particular interest to keen observers were the positions of two of the major shareholders at the time, Irish racehorse breeders John Magnier and J. P. McManus, who together owned around 30% of the shares. In order to reach 75% ownership and force through a total buyout of the club, the Glazers would need to convince the Irish investors to sell their shares at some point. As fate would have it though, Ferguson had recently fallen out in spectacular fashion with Magnier and McManus over the stud rights of a valuable racehorse, the legendary Rock of Gibraltar, which they had gifted to him for his service to the club. The whole thing inevitably ended in court, and now the manager of Manchester United was in the awkward position of being at loggerheads with two of the club's major shareholders. Whether or not this affair was the catalyst, Magnier and McManus soon decided to go against the board's recommendation and sold their shares to the Glazers. Within weeks, the takeover was complete and the Americans were now in control of the richest and best-run club in world football. It soon emerged, however, that the Glazers had borrowed around £750 million (the full value of the club) in order to buy it, and immediately upon completing the takeover had passed this debt burden onto the club. Manchester United had until that point been completely debt-free and possessed the financial muscle to outspend any club in England and probably the world. Now, under the new ownership, they were hamstrung by a yearly interest bill of around £70m against earnings of £250m, which could only result in stifling the club's ability to compete in the post-Abramovich transfer market. Understandably, many fans were apoplectic at these developments, and demonstrations took place at the last minute to try to stop the deal happening. Famously, the Glazers even required a police escort at their first appearance at Old Trafford, such was the public's disdain. The fans' concerns quickly proved to be well founded, as despite continued success under Ferguson, expenditure on players was sporadic. Fergie famously lamented that there was "no value in the market", but wiser heads understood that the budget was being constrained by the Glazers. More worryingly for United's finances, however, was that the debt wasn't going down, but rather UP. The Glazers had borrowed via a high interest "PIK loan", which stood at almost 20% APR. All of a sudden, Manchester United, arguably the biggest club in the world, was in deep financial distress. There was even talk of selling the stadium and training ground in order to lighten the albatross of debt hanging around the club's neck. In the end, the Glazers fortuitously managed to refinance the debt by first issuing bonds at a low 5% yield and then listed the club on the NY stock exchange, selling 10% of their shares. The club was now out of immediate danger, but the bulk of the debt remained. According to the latest financial results, United spent £20m on interest payments last year and remain around £400m in the red. To date, the club has spent in excess of £1 billion on servicing this debt. Today, thanks mostly to the boom in EPL television rights and the efforts of Woodward in cannily exploiting the commercial opportunities afforded by a vast global fanbase, the club is in sound financial health (for the time being at least) and the debt level is sustainable. However, they certainly rode their luck in the early years and selfishly placed the club in an extremely perilous financial position. During the first eight years of their ownership, the club continued to succeed on the pitch despite the Glazers, not because of them. Regardless of the relative lack of investment in the squad throughout this period, United overachieved thanks simply to the brilliance of Ferguson. But since the great man retired in 2013, the Glazers have been badly exposed as having no obvious talent or understanding of football matters by a never-ending chain of bad decisions. As if to add insult to injury, they draw in excess of £30m in dividends and salaries for themselves from the budget each year. The club's fortunes on the pitch are in a tailspin after the last seven years of mismanagement, and yet the Glazers continue to reward themselves for it most handsomely. And for those of you who still point to the lavish spending spree that United has embarked on in recent seasons, know this: not a PENNY of it has come from the pockets of the Glazer family - it has been entirely self-generated by the club's revenues. In summary then, Manchester United fans' ire is not simply down to poor form on the pitch, but rather the way in which the Glazers bought the club in 2005 with bad debt and the gross mismanagement of it ever since. They relied on the genius of Ferguson for too long and completely bungled his succession. They have proven not only to be poor stewards of the club time after time, but have also badly crippled its finances for decades to come with unnecessary debt. In my opinion, aside from the Munich disaster, the Glazers' parasitic tenure has been the biggest misfortune to ever befall Manchester United.
[Next-Day Discussion Thread] FC Barcelona 2-8 FC Bayern München (UEFA Champions League - Quarterfinals)
"We have a bow and arrow and if we aim well, we can hit the target. The problem is that Bayern has a bazooka. The probability that they will hit the target is clearly higher." - Jürgen Klopp.
Hans-Dieter Flick's irresistible side became the first ever to score eight in a UEFA Champions League knockout match as they blew away the five-time winners in Lisbon. Thomas Müller gave Bayern the lead after beautifully exchanging passes with Robert Lewandowski but that was quickly cancelled out when David Alaba sliced Jordi Alba's cross into his own net. Lionel Messi hit a post but Barcelona then wilted under a ten-minute onslaught. Serge Gnabry robbed Sergi Roberto and teed up Ivan Perišić for Bayern's second and the floodgates opened. Gnabry himself added the third and Müller turned in Joshua Kimmich's cross to make it four in the 31st minute Luis Suárez reduced arrears but that only disturbed the hornets' nest again, Kimmich making it 5-2 following a dazzling run by Alphonso Davies. Lewandowski's 14th goal of their European campaign and a late Philippe Coutinho double against his parent club sealed a landmark victory. Man of the Match: Thomas Müller. "Müller takes the award because he scored two goals, found space between the lines, worked hard defensively. Good attitude. A leader out on the pitch."
It was hard to believe that teams once tried to play like Barcelona. Not any more. Their football is stale, their soul has disappeared and too many players have seen better days. They are a shadow of their former selves and although it is impossible to envisage Quique Setién ever managing them again after overseeing a historic humiliation at the hands of Bayern Munich, the harsh reality is that Barcelona’s malaise extends much further than the dugout. History will not be kind to the people who make the decisions at the Camp Nou. They deserve nothing but scorn for squandering Lionel Messi’s talent. Five years have passed since Messi last won the Champions League and it has reached the stage where he might have to do the unthinkable and leave Barcelona, who are rudderless off the pitch and lethargic on it. Barcelona are a mess under the watch of their deeply unpopular president, Josep Bartomeu, who must accept a large portion of the blame after witnessing yet another pathetic exit in the knockout stages. In 2018 Barcelona contrived to lose a 4-1 first-leg lead Roma in the last eight. Last year Liverpool overturned a 3-0 deficit to reach the final. But this was worse. Barcelona were gutless. They have misplaced their identity and could not even perform the basics. There was no heart and in the end they were fortunate that Bayern, who will face Manchester City or Lyon in the last four, did not reach double figures. Even Messi’s head dropped. He was strolling as Bayern, hungry to lift win this competition for the first time in seven years, rampaged forward. The end of an era is approaching and Barcelona’s decline was epitomised by Messi losing the ball before Philippe Coutinho scored the first of his two goals. It was the cruellest of ironies that Coutinho, signed for £105m from Liverpool in January 2018, rubbed salt in Barcelona’s wounds. The Brazilian, who was loaned out last summer after a difficult spell in Spain, must have been glad to be wearing Bayern’s colours. Playing in a cohesive unit, Coutinho had fun against his parent club, creating Robert Lewandowski’s goal shortly after coming off the bench and walking through to make it 8-2 in the last minute. Coutinho was not the only symbol of Barcelona’s flawed recruitment. Ousmane Dembélé, bought from Borussia Dortmund when Neymar joined Paris Saint-Germain three years ago, was on the bench and there was no place in the starting lineup for Antoine Griezmann, who has failed to hold down a place in attack since signing from Atletico Madrid last year. Too many buys have backfired. Frenkie De Jong, who helped Ajax reach the semi-finals last season, has struggled to lift the midfield and too many of the old guard have not been replaced. Given that Luis Suárez, Sergio Busquets and Gerard Piqué are the wrong side of 30, it is not a surprise that Barcelona are so slow. Messi’s characterisation of a weak team who shrink when confronted by intensity is spot on. Barcelona were beautiful on the ball but painfully brittle without it, and they conceded from Bayern’s first proper attack. There were four minutes on the clock when Ivan Perisic, breaking into space vacated by Nelson Semedo on the left, found Thomas Müller, who exchanged a volleyed one-two with Lewandowski before firing beyond Marc-André ter Stegen. At least there was a brief response from Barcelona. Setien’s decision to drop Griezmann and switch to a 4-4-2 system unsettled Bayern at first and there was hope for Barcelona when Messi was on the ball. Barcelona targeted Bayern’s high line and they equalised after seven minutes. A long ball released Jordi Alba, who hurtled behind Joshua Kimmich on the left and crossed for Suárez. David Alaba moved in to intervene, only to slice into his own goal. Suddenly Barcelona were alive. Suárez, released by Nelson Semedo, just failed to lift a dink over Manuel Neuer. Messi saw an inswinging cross hit the inside of the post. Then he shot too close to Neuer after dribbling in from the right. Yet Barcelona never convinced at the back. Lewandowski sent a warning shot over and the German champions regained the lead when they pressed Barcelona. Sergi Roberto dithered and Serge Gnabry pounced, robbing the midfielder and releasing Perisic, who drove in a low shot with his left foot. Barcelona collapsed. Leon Goretzka lifted a clever pass over the top for Gnabry, who finished confidently. After 31 minutes Kimmich joined in an attack and crossed for Müller, whose second goal of the night all but killed the game as a contest. The strange thing was that Bayern, chasing a treble, were not flawless. Their defence was vulnerable and Barcelona, who threw on Griezmann at half-time, pulled one back when Suárez beat Jérôme Boateng before finishing well. Yet there was no way back for Barcelona. Six minutes later Alphonso Davies, Bayern’s wonderful left-back, surged into the area after duping Semedo. Piqué, a centre-back whose powers have waned, froze as Davies gave Kimmich an open goal. With 15 minutes left Bayern sent on Coutinho. Barcelona’s misery was not over yet. They have let Messi down.
Barça's ends an empty season and receiving the biggest beating in its history in Europe. Time to reflect, look at the wallet and see what can be done. A staff that is becoming older, not well-off but with vices, that needs an urgent change. And perhaps on all fronts because last year's management is something to be analysed. A change of manager difficult to explain, many names of signings to try to deflect attention, but half a squad for sale to be able to cope with some signing since the current money seems not to be enough for much. Something that is in evidence by changing a 24-year-old player like Arthur for a 30-year-old like Pjanic, just to lighten the payroll. Avoiding the empty season seemed complicated, but with Messi motivated there are no impossibles. After the practically obligatory paperwork at Naples, the next step was one of the best Bayern in recent years. And against the Germans ended the bet of all or nothing that became the bluegrana season. It has been a long time playing with fire entrusting itself only to the genius of Messi and in Lisbon everything came out red. The red of a Bayern that is serious candidate to take the title after being a bulldozer against Barça. The start of the match was so intense on both sides that everyone dared to go for it, and that's how it was, but from Bayern. More football was seen in the first half hour than in the other two full quarter-final matches. Although Barça were the first to warn, forcing Boateng to work hard to avoid a Luis Suarez strike that smelled of a goal, it was the Germans who took the lead. Forced pass from Busquets to De Jong, robbery of Gnabry that opens wide to Perisic, crossing to Müller that plays to Lewandowski, short devolution of the Pole and finish at Müller's pleasure. Goal in the purest Barça style, but from Bayern. Four minutes of play and already it was looking bad. However, the forces were equalized thanks to an own goal of Alaba with a cross from Jordi Alba. The best of Setien's came right after the draw. They had two great chances to make it 2-1 but Neuer saved a one-on-one against Suarez and a poisoned cross from Messi crashed into the post. But the azulgrana's chances of smelling the semi-finals died after 15 minutes. The next few minutes were an exhibition of German football that, with high pressure, speed, strength and definition, scored three more goals in the blink of an eye. In the 30th minute the score reflected a definitive 1-4 thanks to goals from Perisic, another from Müller and Gnabry. With one hour of play left, Barça's season was over and, hopefully, Setién's on the bench. The 1-2 arrived after a raid on Sergi Roberto, pass from Gnabry to Perisic and goal from the latter with a crossed shot. With barely enough time to breathe, the third arrived thanks to a sensational pass from Goretzka that left Gnabry alone to beat Ter Stegen. And with Barça broken all over the place, and the defence in trouble, the fourth arrived after a steal on Semedo that ended up in a cross on the other side after a change of play that Müller finished off by beating Lenglet. It took half an hour of play, everything was resolved, but Bayern wanted more. Barcelona didn't have anything working, they were slower (age doesn't forgive) and were crying out for a break. Ter Stegen avoided another goal before Skomina sent them into the dressing room and in the second half, Griezmann came out for Sergi Roberto. Setién was able to regain the 4-3-3 formation, but the German powerhouse did not care about the systems. Flick's midfield was a perfect machine and Müller's distribution of play in midfield was enough to get past the Culé defence time and time again. After two good runs from the Munich side that Ter Stegen disrupted, Luis Suarez cut back on Boateng and Barcelona thought they could play the flute. But it all came to nothing six minutes after a play by Davies on the wing that exposed Semedo and left the goal on a plate for Kimmich to make the fifth. A goal made by both full-backs, which says it all about how the game went. Setién got Ansu Fati out for Busquets and Barcelona ended up playing with a 4-2-3-1. But that was the least of it for Bayern, who were doing their thing against a team that was asking for the hour and giving up a game in which they were being far inferior, something they are not used to. For more inri of the day, Flick took out Coutinho, a player on loan from Barça and with whom they do not know what to do for next season. Another story that is not understood in Bartomeu's club. Bayern had scored five yet Lewandowski, their top scorer, had not socred. But the Pole was in the mood and made the sixth when he headed home a cross from Coutinho. The Brazilian went out with a vengeance and after giving the sixth, he scored the seventh and eighth... Message for the Culé Board of Directors: This team is a bulldozer - it has won 26 of its last 27 games - and may have signed the end of the cycle in a Barcelona that needs a deep cleaning and has little time to do so because September is just around the corner.
The FC Bayern München has reached the semi-finals of the Champions League with a crashing, historic and for FC Barcelona disastrous result. The German record champions overwhelmed the defensively-catastrophic Catalans with no less than 8:2! Barcelona's manager Quique Setien changed his starting line-up in two positions compared to the 3-1 draw with Naples in the second round of the round of 16, and responded with a slightly more defensive approach to the strength of form of the German record champions: Busquets returned after suspension for Rakitic (bench), and former Bavarian Vidal was allowed to play in place of world champion Griezmann (bench). Bayern coach Hansi Flick, on the other hand, left the same eleven players who had recently bagged a clear 4-1 win over Chelsea FC in the second leg of the round of 16. Meaning: Perisic started in place of Coman, who was available as a wild card, Boateng and Davies cured their wounds in time, Kimmich helped out the injured Pavard as right-back, and Thiago was to pull the strings in midfield with Goretzka. And that's what the two did for the most part during the first 45 minutes, creating permanent pressure for the team from München. It was the very courageous offensive pressing in particular what rocked the Barça backline, which at times showed acute negligence from experienced players like Piqué - and very often caused them to fall. The result was 1-0 for FC Bayern in the fourth minute, with Perisic escaping on the left wing after Gnabry's steep pass before his next cross landed in front of the penalty area at the lurking Müller. The 2014 world champion played a quick one-two with Lewandowski waiting in the penalty area - and then took a jovial exit to take an early lead. However, the Catalan side were still able to recover from this setback as they exerted a great deal of pressure on themselves throughout the first half of the game. For example, in the 7th minute they forced a 1-1 draw, which Alaba undercut with an own goal after an accidental rescue. Neuer had no chance to defend, but saved a short time later in a one-on-one with Suarez (9') and watched as one of his opponents' crosses hit the post after a slight Busquets contact (10'). In addition, Messi approached with a typical solo run, but finished too imprecisely (20'.). Up to this point, it looked like an entertaining Champions League evening with highlights on both sides, but this was to be reversed from now on. All of a sudden Barcelona's rear men made a series of mistakes, positioned themselves incorrectly and failed to close gaps. The consequences were obvious: After Sergi Roberto lost the ball, Perisic scored from a sharp angle with the slight assistance of Lenglet to make it 2-1 (22'), before Gnabry cut metres from Lenglet in a running duel to reach Goretzka and shot in an as dry as a bone shot in front of the crossbar to make it 3-1 (28'). But that was not enough, because Kimmich was still free to cross and find Müller. Müller stood his ground in the five-meter area with simple means against Lenglet, who was always the center of attention, and was happy about his simple shot to make it 4-1 (31'). In the end, Barça could even be happy that after a ter Stegen pass that was too short, Lewandowski, who had been relatively inconspicuous until then, missed the goal freely in front of the goal - the DFB goalkeeper parried strongly with his leg (29.). Or that Perisic missed (36') and again Lewandowski did not head well enough (39'). Barça manager Setien took more risks with the restart, bringing Griezmann for Sergi Roberto, but it didn't help much on the pitch. Bayern continued to dominate for a long time before Jordi Alba came out of nowhere to serve target player Suarez. The Uruguayan danced Boateng out with a simple hook and scored with his left for a 4-2 goal (57'). New hope for Barcelona? Not at all! Just six turns of the clock later, the Catalan defence made the next negative outburst, with Davies hitting hard the passive Semedo, pulling inside and serving the free-standing Kimmich, who only needed to push the ball in to make it 5-2. The rest is quickly told: Barça surrendered to his fate, approaching only halfway through the game - and was still to fall further under the wheels. Coutinho, on loan from the Catalans, came into the game and prepared Lewandowski's 6-2 header with an elegant chip (82'), before the Brazilian himself started the double from close range (85' and 89'). The result was an incredible 8-2 on the scoreboard, the highest scoring knockout in the competition. A historic victory for the German FCB as perfect as the historic humiliation for the Spanish FCB and the completely fed up Messi. POST-MATCH INTERVIEWS & QUOTES
"It's a tremendously painful defeat, I think it's too many goals, many of them are certainly deserved. The team has been overwhelmed at times, they've been very effective. We started well, but the strength of this team has exceeded us."
"When you make a reflection like that (Pique's) something must be true. The reality is that there is enormous frustration and all that remains is to draw conclusions and make decisions with the future in mind. The Barça is a club so great that this do much damage. Now it's all too near to think whether I'm going to continue or not. It is not up to me, we must have a reflection, taking into account the situation and the importance of this humiliating and painful defeat
"I know what a defeat of this caliber means. We need to look at what happened today from a broader perspective. I know that a manager's credibility is diminished when something like this happens. This is not what I care about right now. You have to deal with a loss like this. We've been outplayed by a very good team. With the exception of the first few minutes, we were clearly outplayed for the rest of the game "
"There's no constructive message that can work right now. We are extremely frustrated. This is tremendously painful for the fans. We, as professionals, are hurting too, and we have to deal with it. We have to think that the future will be better. We must recover from the image we have given today, thinking about the future"
Flick:
""We played an incredible game. We are happy and satisfied, but there are still games to be played to be champions. We know that anything can happen. We're very happy with today's performance, of course. Starting tomorrow, we'll be charging our batteries for the semi-final. Today was impressive."
"After an 8-2 I don't think I should answer a question like that (about what it is left to improve). You can take the positives out of it. The pressure, the recovery, things that we wanted to do and have done perfectly. We will analyze the game in other moments to see which things to improve.
"This is a victory that will go down in the history books, but it would have been too if it had finished 3-1. It's impressive and it's a signal we've sent to the other teams. We have players with a lot of experience. We need to concentrate on the next game. Now we have to analyse what happened and prepare for it in the best possible way. But we know it's going to be very hard."
"I'm happy for Nagelsmann and for Tuchel too. We are among the four best. I know this feeling. We are among the best in Europe and we can be happy. Now we all want to reach the final. Let's hope there can be a German final."
Piqué:
"I'm in pain. We all are. We can't compete like that. It's very, very tough to take. We must change the dynamic we are on. We've hit the bottom. If I have to leave to get some new blood, I'm leaving. In Europe we don't compete and in la Liga we don't succeed anymore. You just can't mask it anymore. A disgrace, I can't say anything else. It's not the first or the second time. The club now needs changes of all kinds"
Müller:
"We worked so hard, with such intensity, it's tough for anyone to beat us. We had so much fun out there today. Barcelona have special players and we had to be even more aggressive, come back again and again. It's a big statement but the semi-final starts at 0-0."
La Liga will not be represented in the European Cup semi-finals for the first time since the 2006-07 season (Manchester United, Milan, Chelsea and Liverpool).
It is the worst European defeat in Barcelona's history and the worst defeat in Messi's career (beating Bolivia 6-1 Argentina in 2009).
Barcelona is the fifth team in conceding 8 goals in the Champions League after Deportivo la Coruña (2003), Besiktas (2007), Malmö (2015) and Legia (2016).
Barcelona closed the season without a single official title, something that had not happened since the 2007-08 campaign.
Bayern München have won their last 19 matches in all competitions, a record run in German top-flight football in all competitions.
Bayern Munich have reached their 12th Champions League semi-final - only Real Madrid have done so more often (13).
Bayern manager Hans-Dieter Flick became only the third manager in Champions League history to win his first six matches in charge, after Fabio Capello in 1992-93 and Luis Fernandez in 1994-95.
With the Germans Hansi Flick, Julian Nagelsmann, and Thomas Tuchel, three managers from a single nation are in the semi-finals of the Champions League for the first time ever. Record.
THE ROAD TO PORTUGAL:
Round of 16
Quarterfinals
Semifinals
Final
BVB 2-3 PSG
ATA 8-4 VAL
PSG 2-1 ATA
ATM 4-2 LIV
PSG vs LEI
LEI 4-0 TOT
ATM 1-2 LEI
??? vs. ???
CHE 1-7 FCB
FCB 8-2 FCB
FCB 4-2 NAP
FCB vs ???
RMA 2-4 MCI
MCI vs. OLY
JUV 2-2 OLY
What is left?
Saturday 15 August 2020, at 20:00 local in the Estádio José Alvalade, Manchester City vs Olympique Lyonnais.
Tuesday 18 August 2020, at 20:00 local in the Estádio do Sport Lisboa e Benfica, Paris Saint-Germain vs Leipzig.
Wednesday 19 August 2020 at 20:00 local in the Estádio José Alvalade, Manchester City/Lyon vs Bayern.
The final will be on Sunday 23 August 2020 at 21:00 CET at the Estádio do Sport Lisboa e Benfica.
POINTS OF DISCUSSION
I) Pochettino vs ten Hag: How would you rate the tactical decisions from the Argentinian and the Dutch? Was Pochettino's a masterclass? Was the Dutch a disaster in the last half as Mourinho said? why?
II) How would you rate this Ajax against other surprising teams of previous years?: Stronger or weaker than Roma 2018 or Monaco 2017? or Man City 2016? maybe even BVB 2013? How truly strong was this team in your opinion?
III) What do you think that will happen in the final?: An English final, what do you think will happen? is there a favourite team?
The idea of creating Next-Day Discusion Threads is to offer a platform for those who have seen the match, and inform those who haven't, while also encouraging more in-depth discussion than in the original thread. Here is a link to the original Post-Match Thread.
These threads are made using the icons and bars that the soccer CSS offers for the old Reddit design, so it is heavily recommended to use a PC, old.reddit and ideally also RES while being here.
A flat chested country girl from County Cork or "To The Shores of Tripoli"
[Author's notes in comments for translations and details. Enjoy!] Near Banbridge town, in the County Down One morning last July Down a bóithrín green came a sweet cailín And she smiled as she passed me by. She looked so sweet from her two bare feet To the sheen of her nut brown hair Such a winsome elf, I'm ashamed of myself For the see of her standing there. Charlie Company, 1st Battalion, 9th Marines Assigned to the 76th MEU, TFSS James Mattis 23 years since first contact, 5 years until Operation Inchon The side doors of the UV-70 Mamba opened and I let my feet hang over the side. The trees below me were a blur as we flew past. A wave of hot air washed over me as I leaned my head out of the dropship. It was either from the planet’s tropical biome or the fact that half the colony was on fire. The crew chief to my left swung a 14mm machine gun out the door and loaded a belt into it with a satisfying thrwack. He leaned his own head out of the door to get his own bearings. He turned to us and held up 5 fingers and shouted, “FIVE MINUTES”. “FIVE MINUTES” shouted back the 12 Marines and one Navy Corpsman, all of us copying his gesture. “Hey O’Hare” said a German voice from behind me. I turned around to look at the source. Corporal Blucher was checking the Marines’ gear one last time. He turned after aggressively tightening down a strap on one of the boots who had apparently not secured his body armor well enough. “What the fuck are we supposed to do if you get shot first?”. “I don’t know, have Doc Stevens fix me up?” I replied. “Fuck no, stay next to me. Let Garcia take point since he wants to let his Scheiße hang loose” said the Prussian corporal as he pushed the well corrected PFC away and towards me. Not counting Doc, Blucher was the oldest one of us at 23, and he was an Old Corps salt dog to the bone. He didn’t take shit, but he didn’t give it either. He was a dick sure, but he was always right about it. “Aye corporal” Cùl tòna, I’ve been on that ship for months! I just want to get my feet back on solid ground already I complained as I heaved my legs back from the edge and took my place next to the squad leader. On paper a squad leader is supposed to be a sergeant and the assistant squad leader a corporal. But things don’t work the way they’re supposed to in the Marine Corps. They work the Marine Corps way in the Marine Corps! So, we were short on NCOs and making do with a corporal and a senior lance corporal as the assistant. “Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of chances to get some today” said the senior lance corporal in question. He depolarized his visor so I could see his shit eating grin. He was just as happy to be off the ship as we all were. The side of his helmet said, Don’t Panic!. He said he read it in a book once. Good advice I suppose. “But if you do take a round, we are kinda fucked” he added. “Ach you’ll figure it out Thompson” I said to the American. He was a bit more of an eejit, but he knew what he was doing most of the time. A comm link isn’t that hard to use! Everyone else just likes having a comm nerd to yell at. “THREE MINUTES” yelled the crew chief breaking me from my internal ranting. “THREE MINUTES” we all replied. I began taking inventory of my kit for the thousandth time. One M89A5 assault rifle, check. 6 spare magazines with 32 rounds of 5mm Terran Caseless each, check. One M77A2 pistol, check. 2 spare magazines with 18 rounds of 9mm Dillon each, check. One comm link with a tactical bracer, check. One field drone, check. Two frags, one flashbang, two marking beacons, and a rainbow of smoke grenades across my belt; check. One first aid kit, check. One mostly full hydration bladder, check. Some rat fucked MRE snacks, check. One ka-bar, check. One multitool and a roll of electrical tape, check. One semi crumbled pack of cigarettes plus a lighter, fucking check. Also, Blucher had me snag a thermite grenade incase this went “Mogadishu” on us. Whatever that means. All of that plus my helmet and body armor and this was turning into quite the load. Who’s fecking idea was it to give the 1.6-meter 50 kilogram Irish girl all this gear? Oh right, mine when I dropped out of uni and enlisted. Sufficed that everything was still there I looked back through the open door. The Mamba had banked to the left and gave me a good view of the city without having to lean out of the damn thing. Ok maybe three quarters of the colony was on fire. Christ, this was the kind of shite that made the Taurans get all worked up at The Table. They were constantly crying about how “humans can’t be trusted”. How we are a race of undisciplined children that haven’t even left behind their regional identities. That it wasn’t right that a fledgling race be given free reign the of stars and colonization of unclaimed worlds. That our unchecked expansion invited these kinds of attacks. That we still weren’t ready. To be honest, they just sounded jealous. At least the Dracs and a few of the rest made good trading partners. “ONE MINUTE” “ONE MINUTE” A silence came over the inside of the dropship. It wasn’t out of fear or anything. Oh no, we were all too damn excited to be scared. You can’t stick a bunch of Marines on a ship with nothing to do but lift weights and masturbate for months and expect us to not want to kill something. Come to think of it they probably do it on purpose. When you take into account that my number one rule is “don’t fuck Marines in 1/9” and the fact that I can’t stand sailors long enough to get into bed with one, you can see what I had been directing my energy towards. When word came down that some pirates had torched a mining town and a bunch of civvies needed saving, we couldn’t get kitted up fast enough. Getting paid to kill a bunch of gigantic pieces of shite that zero people will miss? Fucking ‘rah. “THIRTY SECONDS” “THIRTY SECONDS” “Condition one weapons!” ordered Blucher. The dropship was filled with the sound of slightly less satisfying thrwicks as we chambered rounds into our weapons. The digital round counter on my rifle read 32 to confirm that it was loaded. If I had the genetic predisposition for it, I probably would’ve been sporting a hard on. I almost felt bad for the dumb bastards. Almost. From Bantry Bay up to Derry Quay From Galway to Dublin town No maid I've seen like the fair cailín That I met in the County Down. The engines roared as we approached the ground and the ship shuddered when the landing gear touched the surface. We spilled out of the side doors and formed into a semicircle in front of the ship, crouching and facing outward. No orders were needed, we had practiced this same maneuver dozens if not hundreds of times. The Mamba’s engines roared again as it took off and flew over and away from us, leaving us in a field that separated the colony from the planet’s massive rainforest. “O’Hare call it in” said Blucher. “Reaper 3 Actual, Reaper 3-1. We have reached phase line Budweiser and are pushing to phase line Busch” I said into my helmet’s integrated mic as I keyed my comm. Whoever comes up with these objective names needs to learn what a real beer is. Why can’t there ever be a phase line Guinness? Fucking yanks wouldn’t know a good pint if I shoved one up their arse. “Copy 3-1, out” replied the disembodied voice of our platoon commander. The other 2 squads of 3rd platoon reported themselves as well and the lieutenant responded accordingly. “Van Dusen your team takes point. Tokugawa, Petrov fall in behind, squad column. Let’s get a fucking move on!” commanded Blucher. “Rah” “Yut” “Kill” responded the South African, Japanese, and Ukrainian team leaders respectfully. Again, they were supposed to be corporals, but experienced lance corporals could do the job just as well. “O’Hare you fucking pogue! What did I tell you? Stay next to me!” shouted Blucher as we started to move out and form into staggered columns down a semi paved road surrounded by abandoned homes and storefronts. Everyone that hadn’t been already evacuated was held up at the government house with the rest of Charlie company. “Rah corporal” I prefer battery powered grunt thank you very much. “Thompson hang back with Doc and make sure everyone has their spacing” Blucher continued. “Slay bodies” “All Reaper 3 callsigns be advised, Reaper 6’s comms are down. Coordinate with Reaper 2 Actual. How copy, over?” our lieutenant said. I checked my tac bracer and sure enough the CO’s callsign had dropped off the net. 1st, 2nd, and Weapons platoon were at least still up. Fecking hell Ali! Get your shite together, you’re making us comm guys look bad. “Copy”, said 3-2. “Lima Charlie”, said 3-3. “Solid copy”, I said. “Roger, out” “What the fuck did he say? It was cutting out” said an annoyed Corporal Blucher. “The CO’s comm is down. We’re talking to 2nd until they unfuck it” I answered. Blucher grumbled something in German and smacked the side of his helmet a couple of times. It doesn’t work like that but ok. Our helmets had integrated UHF comms for the squad level so we could talk outside of shouting distance, but anything beyond that needed a comm link. They had a feature where they could wirelessly connect to a nearby comm so the TCS (Tactical Communications Specialist that is) wouldn’t have to be constantly repeating what he heard like an ancient radio operator. But as we learned during field exercises in 29 Palms and on Luna it liked to shit out on you when you started moving. The link has 2 cables so that you can hook it up to your helmet and get a much more reliable connection. It’s good for the TCS but I would basically have to be piggybacking Blucher if he wanted to use the other one. We pushed further into the city towards the simple two story building that was our objective, keeping our eyes and ears open for any sign of trouble. The inferno continued to blaze and engulf more and more of the mining town. The sound of weapons platoon’s medium machine guns and enemy plasma weapons clashing were getting louder now. Every now and then I could hear them touch off a rocket and some grenade launchers. “What about your shortwave?” I asked finally. “The cable gets in the way of my speed reloads” answered Blucher. A bhastaird bhreallghnùisigh! Why does everyone have to try and make my job harder? A shortwave was essentially a handheld comm link issued to officers and NCOs that you could fit into a pouch on the front of your plate carrier (or an empty magazine pouch if supply ran out). It didn’t have the same output as the bigger ones but it could do the job in a pinch. As she onward sped, sure I scratched my head, And I looked with a feelin' rare, And I says, says I, to a passer-by, "Who's the maid with the nut brown hair?" Well he looked at me and he said to me, "That's the gem of Ireland's crown. Young Rosie McCann from the banks of the Bann, She's the star of the County Down." As we approached an intersection Garcia gave the hand signal for a danger area. Again, no orders were needed as just about every Marine has done this thousands of times since boot camp. One fireteam pulls security while the other two get across. There are to be four Marines that have their weapons trained on either direction of the road, two on each side. I dropped down to a knee and took my post on the corner of a building, resting my rifle on the wall. Van Dusen was across from me mirroring my position. Blucher put a hand on my shoulder as Tokugawa’s team went across. “Alright send it”. “3 Actual, 3-1. We have reached phase line Busch and are approaching objective Icehouse”. This is an insult to real beer. “Copy 3-1, out”. Without taking my eyes off the road I was overcome with a sudden desire to be a cheeky cunt, “Ya know corporal, as soon as we get libo I-OH FUCK”. Before I could finish a figure stepped out of an alley and turned to me. It looked like a human, sort of. If a human had veiny beet red skin, completely black eyes, no ears save for the holes on either side of its head, coarse fur like hair, a squashed rectangular nose, 4 fingers and the body of a tall dwarf. Not like a little person but like a proper mythical dwarf. It seemed very surprised to see me. It was carrying a plasma rifle and was wearing a strange x-shaped harness on its chest over a red jumpsuit. Its black eyes went wide, and it opened its mouth of shark like teeth as if to say something. I quickly decided that I had no intention of hearing its opinions as it raised its weapon at me. I fired 3 rounds in rapid succession. Two to the chest, one to the pelvic girdle. My rifle’s integrated suppressor muzzling my shots to a quick phwip. The harness must’ve been some kind of personal shield because a flash of light emitted from the alien pirate as my first rounds tore into it. Probably designed to redirect energy from plasma weapons, not absorb a 5mm fin stabilized discarding sabot at 10 meters traveling just a bit over Mach 3. Surprise fecker! You’re dealing with proper Human weapons now you gobshite! My third shot into its pelvis dropped it like a bag of hammers and it laid on the ground gurgling in a pool of black blood. Van Dusen shot it twice in the head for posterity’s sake. “HOLY FECKING SHITE I GOT ONE!” I yelled. I just popped my cherry! Not the gross awkward one with all the blood but the fun cool one with all the blood. “Keep your fucking pants on O’Hare!” said Blucher. “Let’s fucking go Petrov! Get your Marines across!” He pumped his forearm vertically up and down, the hand signal for "hurry the fuck up". “At least we know who it is now, bru. Fucking Kats!” chimed in Van Dusen. As if on que to defend their honor from the Afrikaner’s insult more Katavarian pirates began appearing from further down the road. I flicked my rifle off safe again as Blucher, Van Dusen, and I poured fired down the road. The Kats seemed woefully unprepared to have been caught in the middle of a Terran Federal Marine Corps infantry platoon’s advance. They were firing wildly as we cut them down, their shields doing little to protect them from our high velocity rounds. Red faces were appearing from around alleys and behind windows trying to take potshots at us. Christ, were these guys taking a fecking nap when we showed up? For every flash of red that I saw I fired 2-3 rounds. Sometimes I’d be rewarded with a flash of a broken shield and an alien howl, other times they’d duck out of the way before I got a good sight picture. It did seem like I was drawing more than my fair share of their ire, probably on account of the antenna sticking out of my back that said “Look at me! I’m important!”. Van Dusen fired his under barrel grenade launcher into a store front where some of them had set up a firing position. No doubt taking cover when they realized their shields were doing fuck all. The 40mm HEDP shell exploding in their face was our way of saying “nice try but still get fucked”. “No shit it’s Kats! It’s always fucking Kats!” said Doc Stevens as he ran across. The Katavarians barely had a presence at The Table. Their government was a powerless operation that just existed to say “oops sorry what can we do” whenever another pirate band attacked shipping lanes or colonies. And as the newest race to discover FTL technology it was mostly us that fell victim to their attacks on our outer colonies. And to be quite frank, we were getting very tired of their shit. Like today. “At least their physiology is pretty similar to ours” he added as he got across and took a position next to Van Dusen. I put a burst into one of them that had appeared on a roof holding a shoulder fired weapon. It fell to the ground in a heap. “Can you translate that to crayon, bru?” quipped Van Dusen. He knew what he was talking about but he just liked being a prick. Especially to navy guys. “Bloody hell, their important bits are the same as our important bits” sighed the HM2 from Liverpool. “Yeah, I kind of figured that out when I shot one in the head and it fucking died, Doc. Thompson hurry it up!” said Blucher as he slammed a fresh magazine into his rifle. The Kats’ fire was slowing down now, and it seemed as if they had decided that discretion was the better part of valor. I guess that’s what happens when you go from raiding colonies with token Planetary Guard forces to facing a bunch of grunts that have had nothing to do but think about killing for the past 2 months. “Last Marine!” said Thompson as he touched my shoulder and ran past, letting me know that he was the last one in the formation to cross behind us. “O’Hare call it in and let’s get moving” ordered Blucher. “Copy”, I keyed my comm “3-2, 3-1. Be advised we have engaged a reinforced squad sized element. They are breaking contact and oscar mike to your pos. How copy over?” “Solid copy 3-1, we’ll be waiting for them” “Roger, out”. I couldn’t help but smile under my helmet. Imagine the look on their faces when they run into more Marines! “Ok O’Hare your turn!” I sprinted across and relieved Van Dusen. Seconds later Blucher came across and touched my shoulder. “Last Marine” he sighed. “Ok are we good to go? Team leaders?” The three team leaders responded positively that their Marines were in fact alive and had all of their important bits. “Alright form it back up and let’s double time it” ordered our squad leader. From Bantry Bay up to Derry Quay From Galway to Dublin town No maid I've seen like the fair cailín That I met in the County Down. “3 Actual, 3-1. We have reached objective Icehouse and are setting up overwatch”. “Good to go 3-1, out”. As I touched off a marking beacon to confirm to everyone all the way up to the Mattis where we were Blucher cursed and smacked the side of his helmet again. “Still?” I asked. “Yeah...” he admitted. “Here let me fix it. Hold still feisì” I said, adding my Gaeilge when he began to protest. “The fuck did you just call me?” spat Blucher. “Nothing at all Corporal!” I quickly answered. Oops. “Du Fickfehler” he answered. Despite the exchange he let me get to work. I grabbed the end of the cable from the shortwave under his left armpit and pulled out and under his arm to get it as far away from his mag pouches as I could. I ran it back up to his helmet and plugged it into the port under where he had written “Kerle, wollt ihr ewig leben?”. Whatever that means. He held up a thumb when he heard the rest of 3rd platoon reporting their positions. Corona and Miller? Janey Mac I’m surrounded by heathens! “What’s so hard about cursing in English?” asked Thompson. “It’s so much more fun in Irish!” I said hoping Blucher wasn’t paying attention. “If you have 40 ways of saying “fuck you” why would you use just the one?” chimed in Lance Corporal Singh, our designated marksman. I gave her a fist bump and laid down in between her and Blucher. She had something in Sanskrit written on her helmet. I ought to ask her what that means. Thompson nodded at this response and went back to looking at what we all were. Objective Icehouse was a simple two story building with a flat roof. The only thing special about it was that orbital imagery from the Mattis indicated that it gave us a pretty good over watch position to the government house. 2nd and 3rd squads got similarly positioned buildings. I was on the roof with Blucher, Thompson, and Singh. The rest of the squad was set up on the floor below us or on street level. From here we could see the rest of Charlie Company exchanging fire with what was left of the Kats. Tracers streaked out from the government house towards assortments of buildings the pirates were firing back from. They must’ve started to wise up because they were holding back at a range that their shields might’ve done something now. They were firing back with whatever heavier plasma weapons and lasers they had. It wasn’t doing much though, and they were starting to try and push forward. They had to have been getting desperate. Stuck between an advancing inferno that they started, and an infantry company that they pissed off, with their extraction burning up in the atmosphere. Their only hope for salvation was to flee into the rainforest and hope they could call for another pirate band that could use the numbers before more Marines came and mopped them up. I bet whatever unobtanium this colony was mining doesn’t sound worth it anymore. It used to be that they would just surrender at the first sign of trouble or cut their loses and flee. But we stopped handing Kat prisoners back over when we found out we had captured the same band half a dozen times just for the joke of the Kat government to release them and have them back attacking us. Not anymore, new procedure was to treat every Kat vessel as a potential threat and engage the confirmed ones at every opportunity. Provided they didn’t have any hostages outright destroying them was the best option. This made some of the other races get all jittery (especially the Taurans) but fuck them. If the want to attack us they can turn big rocks into little rocks on Mars for all eternity. So, most of the company had landed after the rest of the battalion got who they could, and we were held in reserve to cover their push to the last evac site. The plan was to cover them, hold off whatever the Kats threw at us while the engineers cleared a landing zone for the Albatrosses, and then get the fuck out. “Get the drone up. I don’t want any more fucking surprises” said Blucher. “Roger” I answered fishing the field drone out of its polymer case. Its four propellers sprang out and spun to life as I activated it from my tac bracer. The hummingbird sized device flew out of my hand and in front of our position. With my bracer I controlled its movements and got a visual from it’s on board camera. Normal visuals weren’t doing me any good, so I switched over to thermals and was greeted with a white hot screen. The fire along with the planet’s climate was overloading the system. I turned down the sensitivity until I got a good visual of my surroundings. A Kat’s internal body temperature was a little higher than that of a human. This made them all that easier to spot them on thermals. First, I swept the buildings directly in front of us. Nothing. Then I started branching out. Block by block, darting my little drone up and down alleys and streets looking for Kats that thought they could hide. Eventually, I found something. About 200 meters up and to the right of us. In another two story building was a blob of orange and red. “Corporal I got something” I said without looking up from my bracer. The heat was enough to be a Kat, but it looked all wrong. Like it had two heads or something. From what I could tell it looked to be crouched or sitting in a closet in the center of building away from any doors or windows. I tried getting inside but with all the windows and doors closed there was nothing I could do. Fuck. “Let me see” Blucher said crawling over to me. I held out my forearm for him to see and he studied it for a moment. “Eh it’s probably one of those fuckers trying to hide out. Either way it’s out of the way of the extraction route and if it suddenly gets brave Singh can perforate it from here”. Singh put up a “rock on” hand signal at this. “But Corporal what if- “ “No” “Corporal I really think- “ “Shut the fuck up, Lance Corporal!” Thompson put a hand on my shoulder, “What happens if we send out a team and they get bogged down out there? What happens if we get rushed and we’re not at strength? What happens if we send out some Marines and they get chopped up just to find it’s another Kat? Everyone is supposed to be at the government house”. I turned to look at him and frowned. His eyes were worried and doubtful. He was thinking the same thing I was. But he was right. And so was Blucher. As much of an arsehole as he was, he didn’t want to go home with 8 Marines in his squad instead of 12. But things don’t work the way they’re supposed to. “C’mon get your head in the game” said Singh playfully smacking my helmet. Yeah ok, it’s nothing. Gotta be here in the now. I marked the building on my map and went back to looking through my rifle. “All Reaper 3 callsigns you are clear to engage” “Light them the fuck up!” commanded Blucher. With that the 12 Marines and one Corpsman in Objective Icehouse began suppressing the more threatening sources of Katavarian fire. To our left and right the Marines in Objectives Corona and Miller were doing the same. Singh’s M109 DMR was spitting out 7.5mm Martian polymer cases with a dull fwup. I switched my optic from 1x to 4x so I could get a better look at what we were shooting at. The Kats’ shields were doing them some good at this range. It took 2 good hits for their shields to drop. It was hard to get good targets though so most of us were just trying to suppress the buildings, puffs of dust kicking up from our rounds hitting the walls. I would’ve put my weapon on burst or even auto if I thought that I wouldn’t burn through the rest of my mags. I did get to see some of Singh’s shots “canoe” a few of them so that was nice. But even though they were redirecting some of their guns to us it wasn’t enough to take the heat off the government house. “MAAWS?” Thompson asked anxiously. “MAAWS” agreed Blucher. “Fuck yeah! Hey get that fucking MAAWS up here!” Thompson yelled down the staircase, not that he had to with the internal comms. He was just excited. I heard Petrov yelling Ukrainian obscenities at his Marines to sprint up the stairs. And I’m the one that has to keep her pants on? Two Marines raced out of the staircase and took a knee behind us. One holding the Man portable, Antitank, Antipersonnel, Weapon System and the other taking a bundle of 70mm rockets off his back. “2 Actual, 3-1. Be advised we’re engaging with our MAAWS” I said into my mic. “A-firm 3-1. Standing by to give you BDA” replied 2nd Platoon’s commander. “You know which one you’re shooting at right?” asked Thompson. “Yes, Lance Corporal” replied the rocket team. Fucking boots. They were the same rank technically but “billet before rank” and all that. Blucher, the micromanaging kraut that he is, wasn’t convinced and said, “Singh put some tracers on it”. She promptly retrieved a fresh magazine that had a strip of red electrical tape on it. She replaced the magazine she already had loaded with it and chambered a round. She fired two rounds that glowed as they flew towards the building we were engaging. The two Marines nodded their heads. “Hey, load a thermo” Thompson said to the assistant gunner. Blucher looked at him as if to say “really?” but didn’t continue. This was going to be fun. The assistant took out a rocket with a thick orange band from the case. He twisted the tip and loaded it into the rear of the weapon. Once it was in, he then tapped the gunner’s helmet twice to confirm the weapon was armed. Now it was up to the gunner. The scope on the MAAWS had a range finder and a targeting computer so the gunner didn’t have to sling rockets at his target until he got it right. It told him exactly were to hold based on the distance to the target, angle of attack, and munition being fired. All he had to do was hold it steady and pull the trigger. “On target!” announced the gunner. “CLEAR BACKBLAST!” “BACKBLAST CLEAR!” confirmed his assistant. “ROCKET!” PWOP FWOOOOOOOM The 70mm thermobaric rocket streaked out from the Marine’s shoulder and over our heads. My eyes were glued to it in anticipation. What’s great about thermobaric weapons is that they don’t just explode, they implode. It works by igniting the oxygen in the air, which results in a vacuum. The air in the immediate atmosphere will then come rushing in. This has the effect of sucking anything in in the immediate vicinity. Like walls. Also, apparently, they contain some kind of chemical that if exposed to it too often will give you cancer. But that’s for the VA to worry about. The shot couldn’t have been more perfect. The rocket shot straight through a window and into the building. First the explosion, igniting the available oxygen and burning the Kats’ lungs from the inside. And then the implosion. The walls of the house caved in on themselves and the whole thing came down. If anything in there wasn’t already dead, it was now. Eleven Marines and one Navy Corpsman roared in excitement as our target was turned into a pile of dust and rubble from the inside out. Second and Third squads must’ve gotten the same idea because rockets streaked out from their positions towards their targets. “Good fucking shit boots!” applauded Thompson. “Aye Lance Corporal!” “Lock it up! Lock it the fuck up!” commanded Blucher when our celebrating went on for a second too long. “Good hit 3-1, position destroyed, estimate 10 EKIA. Pushing Reaper 4 to you now.” “Copy, out. Corporal you get that?” I said turning my head to Blucher. He put up a thumb in affirmation. Yeah that’s right fecker I know I’m good at my job. Weapons platoon began spilling out of the government house and double timed it up the main road towards us. First the machine gun section, then mortars, and finally engineers. They would bolster our defenses while the engineers secured a landing zone. The Albatrosses needed a lot of space. Then the rest of the company would move the civvies knowing they were under a protective blanket of machine guns, mortars and rifle fire. The gunners were moving hard with their guns on their shoulders and their assistants following behind laden with belts of ammunition and spare barrels. Squads started breaking off from the section and one headed towards our position. A machine gun squad consisted of two machine guns with two Marines per gun plus a squad leader. In this case all of these Marines were lance corporals in true Marine Corps fashion. “Marines coming in!” announced the machine gunners one after another as they entered our building. Soon a burst raced out from the floor below us. “GUN ONE UP!” Another burst. “GUN TWO UP!”. With that the 7.5mm general purpose machine guns began their dance of death. One gun would fire a burst of 6 rounds, and then the other gun would take over. This way, it was a constant stream of fire without eating up all their ammo. While one team was loading. The other was firing. While one was changing barrels, the other was putting rounds down range. The GPMGs weren’t suppressed like our rifles, so it was quite the racket. But the noise was gas sometimes! Sometimes I think I should’ve chosen 0331 but then I see their platoon sergeant make them do gun drills all day and I think better of it. One bad decision is enough thank you very much. We watched their tracers speed towards the Kats that had fancied themselves brave and were setting up on the rubble. The guns caught a few in the open with the opening bursts and the rest dove for cover. We followed suit and began picking off those we could while the machine guns kept them suppressed. At this range Singh got most of the good hits but every now and then the rest of us would catch one. First and Second Platoons started moving now. Along with them were battered looking civilians, constables, and planetary guardsmen. The Marines surrounded them as they moved down the street. Some of them were carrying their wounded. Others were carrying their dead. I had to give it to those “parental guidances”. They didn’t have our training or equipment (some of these guys had M89A1s!), but this was their home. And they weren’t leaving it without a fight. Aside from the Marines the procession was quite the clusterfuck. Wounded constables and guardsmen hobbling along. Families holding their children and whatever possessions they were able to grab. And these are only the people that made it. The crowd finally got to us and the Marines started reinforcing positions or securing the civilians while the Corpsmen got to work on the wounded. The mortarmen finally got to work and started shelling the government house with their 60mm tubes so the Kats couldn’t use it. No doubt they had their guns preset and were just waiting for everyone to get clear. “LANCE CORPORAL O’HARE!” called a voice from street level. “Better go” sighed Blucher. Fuck me. I stood up and quickly made my way down and out of our house. I was greeted by the sight of our CO, Captain DuBois, and a very confused looking tactical communications specialist. And the sound of the engineers blowing down trees and buildings with det cord. “Kill sir” I said trotting up to him. “Excellent, would you please assist Lance Corporal Ali with getting comms back up” said the French officer. “On it sir” I answered trying not to sound like a cunt about. Ali was fiddling with his bracer when I took a knee next to him. “I don’t know what happened! It just dropped data all of a sudden!” he said. I grabbed his arm and turned it so I could look at his screen. “Rinne tù margairlì crànach de” I whistled looking at the absolute hell of a readout. “What?” Ali asked. I sighed and started punching through the options, “Did you load the encryption keys before you loaded the frequencies?” “…no” he admitted. “You have to! If not, sometimes the data won’t take, and it’ll just drop after a few hours”. “Why does it work like that?” “How the feck should I know? It just does! Look, do you have backups?” “No” “Jesus wept”, fucking headquarters nerds. I pulled a cable out from my own bracer and plugged it into his. I was sure to upload the encryption keys first and show him what I did. “Grand, now get comm checks”. You’re lucky I like redundancies fecker. The captain laughed the kind of laugh officers do whenever they want to feel heroic. “Corporal Blucher!” The Prussian’s helmet poked out over the edge of the roof, “Yes sir?” “You are no longer allowed to have O’Hare to yourself! She will be my personal TCS from now on!” “Aye sir” Blucher said dejectedly, there was a reparations joke in there somewhere. Fucking hell, I hate being dependable. I can deal with the kraut and the yank but if I have to follow some frog shiny around all day I’ll go mental! I took a look around the area that Charlie company had occupied. The CO was talking to the Mattis and trying to look like he knew what he was doing. The XO was pretending like he mattered. And First Sergeant was yelling at the mortarmen. In that regard everything is exactly as it’s supposed to be. Then my mood changed. There were families comforting their children. People were looking at what was left of their lives in their hands. They had it good here and a solid future for their kids and now they would be refugees until they found somewhere else. I saw Doc Stevens and some other corpsmen triaging the wounded. There were kids among them. Their bodies were scarred by plasma burns. The Kats didn’t have rules of engagement. If they weren’t going to take you as a hostage, they didn’t have use for you. And these are the ones that made it. “O’Hare if you’re done get the fuck back here!” “Rah Corporal!” [Continued in comments]
Chapter 1: https://www.reddit.com/soccercourt/comments/c0o099/i_have_been_banned_from_rreddevils_and_i_am/ Chapter 2: https://www.reddit.com/soccercourt/comments/c1po9u/db_cooper727_vs_the_muppets_and_itks_of_rreddevils/ Tuesday, 18th June 2019. DB is very happy with himself. The thread was an even bigger success than he could have ever hoped for. His boss instantly offered him a pay rise when he got in to work, his girlfriend traded herself in for a more attractive woman, his parents asked him for pocket money. DB is on top of the world. Teenage heart-throb Adebayo Akinfenwa congratulates DB on the big win. DB has made new Arsenal friends on /Gunners, the kind Liverpool folk welcomed him on /LiverpoolFC. Support poured in through DMs to DB. The public haven't loved DB this much since he made reddevils believe de Ligt is going to United! If you mosey on over to Redcafe and peruse what their users were saying, there were even some United fans endeared by the charm and intellect of our dear DB(album). What I have established from that Redcafe thread is that, just as I thought all hope was lost, it turns out there is a group of United fans who are able to apply critical thinking and logic. In fact, if you look on page 25 of that thread, you can see them all laughing at how blatantly bollocks my made up rumour was. I had simply the most delightful people invite me to their Discord chats. As I was walking out of my house, my neighbour - a Yale graduate in town to learn the bond business - shook my hand and congratulated me on my big win. After exchanging pleasantries he said 'well, goodbye'. As he was walking away he stops. He turns and shouts; 'DB, /reddevils are a rotten crowd. You're worth the whole damn bunch put together', before giving an awkward wave. Internally he was always glad he said that. It was the only compliment he ever paid DB. Meanwhile, Spoofex stands with his source. 'You broke your promise', his source says. 'You fucking talked to them about me'. Spoofex asks what the fuck is going on. His source ignores him, stating 'I asked for one simple thing'. Spoofex demands to know why people think his source is him. 'Sit', his source says. Spoofex again demands to know why people think the source is him. 'I think you know', replies the source. Spoofex denies this fact. 'Yes you do, why would anyone possibly confuse you with me?' the source asks. ''I...I don't know' the feeble Spoofex responds. A moment of realisation sets in. 'No' he says, barely audible as he trails off. He starts to recount. All the text messages he sent to himself, all those nights alone he spent at the bar by himself, all the emails he sent to himself, all the times he...physically interacted with himself. 'Say it', the source demands. 'Because...' Spoofex trails off. 'Say it' the source demands. 'Because we're the same person' Spoofex says, in a state of despair. His source elaborates. 'You were looking for a way to change your life, you could not do this on your own'. Spoofex doesn't know how to respond. 'All the ways you wish you can be...', the source continues with his arms out-stretched, '...that's me'. 'I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I'm smart, I'm capable and most importantly, I'm In The Know'. Jroades, one of the co-founders of Muppetiers, announces they're going to stop accepting new ITKs in to Muppetiers. The other co-founder, Ubergorp, is beside himself as he tries to defend his filthy Frankenstein like creation on Redcafe. DB knows that Frankenstein was the doctor, but also subscribes to the notion that he was more of a monster than his creation ever was. Simply just operate on a higher level of thinking than most. Despite everyone now knowing it was a blatant lie, DB's update still sits top of the most upvoted /muppetiers threads ever, with someone having gilded it. Everything is rosy. DB is happy, no, DB is jubilant. He can retire now, for there is no need for DB to be around anymore. He's completely OWNED the ITKs and "muppets" of /reddevils. He can finally retire and get that cottage near the sea (but not the one on the cliff because coastal erosion can be deadly and potentially destroy the house, I mean at the very least it's going to heavily depreciate the value of it). Ah, what a wonderful life, you know what I really love is- WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? Suddenly the thought of the cottage disgusts DB. He hopes the coastal erosion occurs and he hopes it fucking sinks. You've just killed John Wick's dog you incompetent FOOLS. Did you really think there wouldn't be room on DB's mantle for the head of the /reddevils mods to join those of the ITKs and muppets?
de Ligt has gone out of my life - the ITK genocide
If you're reading this thread it's because overwhelming evidence has come out that proves Spoofex to be unreliable. The people in the top half of the last thread are not surprised, whereas the people in the bottom half are distraught. But don't worry. DB is here. DB was always here. You just didn't want to hear (this is clever because I ended all the sentences on a word that sounds the same but one of them didn't mean the same as the other two, make sure to acknowledge this). But it's over, you're free from Spoofex Manson's evil embrace. Contact Rightmove, your Jonestown property is going on the market. Spoofex's first response to the soccercourt thread was to press the AZ-5 button. This would explain why his information started to meltdown at nuclear proportions. In the 24 hours following DB Snowden's post, the following occurs: Spoofex on Rabiot pre-DB's update: medical Wednesday Spoofex on Rabiot post-DB's update: Rabiot is off Spoofex on de Ligt pre-DB's update: done deal, going to United. Spoofex on de Ligt post-DB's update: gives it an 8/10 for it happening, the whole deal is now a mess Spoofex on Fernandes pre-DB's update: done deal, going to United. Spoofex on Fernandes post-DB's update: the whole deal is now a mess Now, I know what you're all going to argue. "DB, this doesn't mean he's unreliable, it's more likely that your post actually put a lot of players off wanting to join Manchester United". Yes, of course DB considered that possibility, but these are players who are sought after by some of the biggest clubs in the world, who regularly play CL football, have qualified football managers, don't sing about beans. These players didn't need DB to show them the light. No, I'm afraid to say that Spoofex was lying from the off. Then, on Wednesday, Spoofex's source takes leave for a week. The guy who has an in-depth knowledge of transfers, who is intrinsic to the process, is apparently allowed to take leave during what is allegedly going to be United's biggest week of the entire window. Well, either that or our buddy Spoof popped a Chlorpromazine tablet. But of course /reddevils buy this, because apparently despite DB being the unemployed one, they don't seem to understand the concept of not being allowed to take leave during incredibly busy periods of trade. Later Wednesday was the fantastic Mata debacle. A player who first wasn't offered a new contract, then offered but not signing, then was only signing for a year, ends up signing a 2 year deal with the option to extend for a further year. Spoofex has told us we can't give him shit for that though, and given his position as mod on /reddevils it's pretty clear that's more of a thinly veiled threat than a "c'mon guys" type of comment. DB knows full well what happens when you try to question Spoofex's reliability. Strangely, Spoofex's Summer 2019 Transfer History thread on the critically acclaimed /spoofex sub-reddit is then removed. Previously a thread Spoofex recorded every single one of his updates in, he's now binned it. Starting to look like Spoofex doesn't want the likes of DB keeping up with his lies. DB claims the scalp of another ITK as drewing bows out in disgrace, nuking his entire post history. Conveniently after the Italian + Dutch press break the de Ligt to Juventus news. DB knows, it's shocking. Drewing was a liar too? The guy who told people he's a student in America doesn't know of the inner workings of United's transfer business? The guy who won back so much public acclaim when he apologised in DB's last thread, yet was more than happy to renege on DB's charitable bet? Who would have thought you couldn't trust him! (nb: someone pm'd DB saying they'd donate $20 to a charity of DB's choice if i went back in on reddevils. if you are still willing to uphold that, i'd like alder hey to at least see a portion of the money they're going to miss from drewing) DB's name has been censored on /reddevils. Any mention of it sees your comment/post removed, and any support shown sees you banned. The name of DB Cooper, now intertwined with the exposure of Spoofex and the ITKs as being unreliable, is one the mods now fear. However, the movement lives on. The movement - which unbeknown to them has been dubbed Children of Cooper (CoC) - continues to wage war against the inconsistency of the ITK culture. This particular exchange, between an ITK doubtful and a clear admirer of Coopism, is telling of the change in tune the sub-reddit has gone through since DB blew the lid off their stew of deceit. Muppetiers, who have now noticeably slowed down their updates since the events on that fateful Monday night, start to be criticised for putting out nothing news. As Cooper rightly suggested at the end of his last thread, the ITK culture doesn't, in reality, stay secluded to the muppet thread. It spills out, with fumes of negativity being inhaled by every reddevils subscribers. One eagle-eyed CoC notices this and plonks his gnashers in to the neck of an unsuspecting muppet. DB's body starts to seize up with joy. They love DB. They all love DB. Set forth, my beautiful children.
User
Comment
Billybigballs7
So does spoofex get away with filling us with shit from his fake source for the last few weeks?
Caesar3890
Can't wait for a in ITK to post some bullshit info tomorrow about a midweek announcement. Then this place to be happy and buzzing for a couple of days then the midweek day comes and nothing happens then Thursday until Friday night for things to grow violent and then some wanky glazers out thing to start and then everyone fall out with each other, have a go at Lingard and then on Sunday start all over again.
Arrowguy26
Can we get rid of the muppet thread now?Its not even fun anymore just a bunch of low effort posts for karma on there
Jhix
Woo another muppet meltdown. These threads are so entertaining I hope they return next year.
Utd99
Bit convenient how he said that when mdl to juve news broke. Coukd be aload of bullshit too. Why didnt he post the news earlier if he had any?
MaroK11
Spoofex is fraud
DuanneOlivier
Theory: His source hasn't changed from the "De Ligt isn't coming" stance, spoofex got baited into "confirming" after every "ITK" said he was coming so that he wouldn't be left behind on the off chance that the club actually announced the deal.
TyperSniper
I’ll be interested to hear why spoof was so convinced MDL was coming when he signs for another club.
M4NUN1T3D
The inevitable Spoofex Roast thread is gonna be legendary lol. Hope some have their jokes ready.
Horrorbull1
They dont spoof just said so because he thought de ligt was coming on the plane and now it has been found out that it is bs he is going back on what he said
Horrorbull1
Spoof saying the medical was for rabiot makes no sense united would never book a medical in for someone they have not guaranteed to be signing. Every day spoof looks less and less reliable to the point where I dont care about his updates anymore
zahrikaplan
Believing spoofex even though he constantly changes his stance and barely gets much right- ✔️
zahrikaplan
Ive been getting grilled on here for even suggesting that spoofex might be a liar. Just because he has history and is a mod. That update today is so blatantly a backtrack on the Wednesday medical promise he made. Which then tells us that he definitely did add the medical part after seeing the fake plane report. I'm convinced now, but we will know the truth shortly anyway. Regardless, this is a muppet thread. We move onto another ITK to blindly believe hahaha
zahrikaplan
Spoofex son...This looks like a huge backtrack to me, why on God's Earth would there be a medical for someone who hadn't agreed to join. That literally impossible.
UTFR99
I think we all know Rabiot was off the cards realistically according to reports over the last 2 days but this whole medical on Wednesday getting cancelled thing doesn’t sit nicely with me it just seems so convenient and I know I’m gonna get downvoted for speaking my honest opinion but it is what it is.
Firebreathingdown
So there was a medical scheduled out of the blue after the fake itk told his tale, now that itk outed his story the medical is apparently cancelled, how very convenient isn't it.
nizam1
Welcome to another classic Spoofex self contradictory post that follows the news cycle. Utter charlatan.
s4m777
Why is Spoofex so trusted as some great insider, when he is clearly wrong on nearly everything here is what he said on Mata for example, quotes of his on the subject:"Mata is going. No contract is on offer and he isn't asking for one.""I'm in complete opposition to Stone on the Mata contract. I've been pretty vehemently told we're not giving him one." And after the United website published the fact that we were talking with Mata over a new contract: "The offer that did go in is for a paycut, and that pretty much killed it. They still don't expect to see him next season." "we are giving Mata one more year." He has called the whole situation completely wrong all summer the same as with multiple other stories.
zahrikaplan
Why have the other ITKs suddenly stopped providing updates?
nenadb97
Only some ITKs are saying that MdL is going to Utd. Still can't believe that people expect him to sign. No credible source is even mentioning Utd.
nayborhoodedgelord
im so fucking pissed that the puppeteers have refused to reveal new info about MDL but it has also been a huge help to say the least. However doesn't anyone find it interesting how since then there have been no mupdates. living proof of the piggybacking ffs.
richwithoutmoney
A few speculations are around that some ITKs were only providing information they saw from other ITKs. So as some of the 'legitimate' ITKs stopped providing info for whatever reason, the other ITKs have nothing to piggyback off. That could be entirely wrong, but it has been what is speculated.
SG52
Has normal ITK information dried up or is it just the aftermath of that psychopath DB.
ladydevines
He is waiting for Muppetiers :) Edit: Seriously go look, his last big update was 2 days ago and so was Muppetiers, he posted about that medical on a Wednesday 10 minutes after the troll said De Ligt was coming on a Tuesday via Muppetiers also. And now his source is "away" while their updates have stopped? Hah. I wish i could believe him as well be so much more interesting.
DB was doubted. DB was spat on. DB was vilified. Yet, indisputably, DB was right. Now everybody believes DB. Whether they like it or not, they have Luis Figo'd over from the cult of Spoofex to the Children of Cooper.
To me, the thing that is worse than death is betrayal. You see, I could conceive death, but I could not conceive betrayal.
Hello jroades and ubergorp! Not had a chance to talk to you lovely gentlemen since my last post. I know that ubergorp is very sensitive to criticism, and that jroades is very worried I'm going to dig up some of his more unsavoury history on The_Donald. Don't worry, DB is only going to go after one of those angles. You're safe, jroades, not sure even I can produce a drawn-out verbose section on you being a bad knobhead who supports Trump. I think Reddit is tired with that in general. (nb: to find some of these jroades comments I had to scroll through 35+ pages on his profile. they were posted on monday. DB is the one with no life.) Muppetiers markets itself on being this big anonymous aggregator where all your news stays completely confidential. Yet DB notices some inconsistencies with this. From the off, compulsive liar jroades told DB "everything you share directly to us is 100% private" and that you wouldn't share any details. Then, why is it in the direct aftermath of the soccercourt thread you tried to justify your bamboozlement by saying you spent hours running the info through other people? DB's fake information was strictly for the eyes of him, jroades and ubergorp. That was the deal. DB feels completely violated that you shared his made up bollocks, it's a complete betrayal, you're the worst twosome since the Kray twins, how could you possibly dare do this to our young and aspiring ITK? Who are these people you're sharing the information with? You were more than happy to jovially quip to DB about some mug who came to you and posted his real press credentials. You told me that after a few messages, God knows the kind of people you're "running" ITK's confidential information through. Why is it that Spoofex and the entire /reddevils mod team are now being given this confidential information? That's at least 10 more people than you previously promised getting the information, with one of them operating under the same umbrella of being an alleged ITK. DB would like to know, why would anyone ever even think about giving you genuine information when you're bandying it around the mod team, as well as the unknown quantity of the other people you're running information past. You've set up a system where trust is at best one-way, and is purely self-serving in the hope that you, your mates and the mods of reddevils will get little snippets of information before they're made public. DB is disgusted by this and delighted that he got all your hopes up before absolutely demolishing them. DB would like the record to show that he'd trust those fucking weird Olsen twins with his personal information before ever even considering handing it over to the pair of utter charlatans that are uberoades. By the way, I know you've got some response prepared on the basis that DB is up to as many as 3 of the ITKs currently feeding your information. Going to have to keep that response in your drafts I'm afraid chaps. None of that will be getting revealed today.
Thu Jun 20 2019 22:02:57 GMT+0100 (British Summer Time)
DB wins. Alexa, play Daryl Hall & John Oates – You Make My Dreams. Merely 3 days after DB Cooper's case of the century, Spoofex has bowed down. What triggered this? Dominic Fifield and Simon Stone, two of DB's best friends. See, cast your mind back through the sewage of lies and insufferably pretentious nonsense that Spoofex has been Spoutexing, and you'll remember three letters, and a tick. June 17th:
AWB ✔️
But don't stop here, let the sewage wash you further down the dark hole of sick, twisted lies and land upon Spoofex's horrendous attention seeking post, dated June 11th.
AWB Done - £53m
Wednesday was the first hint that this was a lie, as Duncan Castles came out and reported a deal had been agreed between Palace and United. Then, on Thursday, reliable Crystal Palace journalist and best man at DB's first wedding Dominic Fifield puts down Spoofex in brutal fashion. Then, as the dishevelled remains of Spoofex's charred body tries to grasp at any opportunity to defend himself, DB's godfather Simon "Jon Bones Jones" Stone(s) comes out and wallops him in to irrelevance. Two points to talk about from Spoofex's coming out post:
Roast Thread: jesus christ have you ever officially ruled out any potential relation to the Kardashians? How desperate are you for attention? This is a stupid idea because nobody that would possibly have the substance to go in on you will be able to post because you've fucking banned us all. I think even the most ardent of spoofex arse chuggers would agree that if any roast thread is to take place, DB should be temporarily unbanned for it.
Moderator Review: oh fuck off, again you know that nobody is going to demand you step down because anyone who pointed out the blatant conflict in interest has already been silenced by the pack of hounds that protect you at all cost.
Very tame consequences considering when reddevils started the ITK nonsense in the summer, people who took the "tier challenge" and were proven to be wrong got permanently banned from the sub-reddit. You started being ITK at this time, why shouldn't you be liable to the same punishment?
Responding to Nobodies
DB has had a lot of shit thrown at him these past few days. Paraphrasing very slightly, but here is DB's response to some of them.
you just don't understand the muppets thread lol we're just joking around it's all for fun haha you fucking cunt i hope you fucking die you autistic incel
... no, it's not just for fun. your response to my second thread wouldn't have been so intense if everything was being taken in good spirits. your fellow united fan, cliche guevara, said it best on redcafe.
what about xisimon he's reliable right
fuck simon and fuck you too.
you're scum, you joked about a city fan having acid thrown at their face!!
nope, i joked about the city squad singing about sean cox and referenced they'd do the same in relation to the acid attack. however i did blame the murder of lyra mckee on the entire celtic fanbase so go wild with that. if you're going to have the audacity to slander the great cooper name, and try to defame the phenomenal character that db possesses, then at least be accurate with our flawless hero's past misdemeanours.
impersonation is a bannable offence!
you can't impersonate someone who never existed.
you evaded your reddevils ban and that's against reddit policy!
nope, never used the ITK account to post on reddevils. only used it to feed muppetiers information. if anything it was the muppetiers who facilitated the words of a banned user to be posted, and they're the account who should be suspended for evading a ban. i'll make sure to swallow my pride and report them.
this is harassment, i'll see you in court!
yeah alright spoofex didn't even want to come to a meme online court i'm sure the hermit is more than willing to leave his house and go to an actual court.
ok so you fooled hundreds of people and ruined their fun, does this really make you feel good? like actually?
more than you will ever know.
this is so sad! i wish i had this much free time!
you ever watched two football games in the space of 3 days? 90 mins + injury time + half time equates to roughly 2 hours per game, 4 hours in total (not counting pre-match and post-match discussion). the post took me less time than that. so yeah, you probably do have that much free time.
you have no friends
a sacrifice DB is willing to make for the greater good.
oh my name is typersniper and i'm being a little bitch
stop being a bitch typer.
you're great DB you should be unbanned from /soccer
i'll be honest DB really is struggling to defend himself on this one. DB therefore concedes the point and will humbly face being unbanned.
Responding to Nobodies Who Don't Realise They're Nobodies
To the Reddevils mods, DB now speaks directly to you. Not just a man, not just a great man, but my friend wonderfuladventure contacted you to stop the brigading, racism, death threats and casual rape mentions. Your response? To ban the most wonderful of adventures, and to grass to the Reddit admins and have DB banned for 3 days. Now, ladies and gentleman, and whatever vile creatures fester inside the horrible incestuous pit of despair that Reddevils call their mod team, here is the exchange that the aforementioned wonderfuladventure had with their mod team: Full conversation You'll notice our friendly and righteous moderator makes mention of the fact that this sexy concoction of looks, charm and physique stood before you actually reached out to mr.wonderfuladventure before making the second thread. That's because I knew what kind of community the reddevils mod team have moulded under their dictatorship. Proof of these messages can be found here You'll notice at the bottom there I brought the thread earlier. This is because your subscribers started harassing de Ligt's girlfriend on Instagram. Don't you find it worrying that, despite the fact I exposed your entire farcical ITK bollocks, and that I called the fact that your subscribers would absolutely disgrace themselves, you're still too blinded to see it being anyone but my fault? Gee willikers, even Redcafe know of your reputation. You'll notice it's the mod by the name of seaders who is being all-righteous in that mod mail. Seemed to change his tune a few hours later... I'm fine with you getting down and dirty with me, seaders, but first I'm going to have to put on Newcastle shirt and chin that moral high horse that's keeping you aloft. Speaking of harassment and abuse, DB would like to present you with a table.
User
Comment
Still active on reddevils?
w1zgov
you're a brainless redneck
✔️
AC5L4T3R
Youve never been close to a girl in your life. You come across as the type of guy that throws a hissy fit when you don't get a reply to your desperate message, then call her a bitch and say she should get raped by a Chad.
✔️
Avatarflash
this is the hight of autism
✔️
nenadb97
Cooper, I hope somebody punches you in the face, you little rat.
✔️
anduril-88
Clearly some thrash born in a trash can and obviously jobless.
✔️
RespectJoseMourinho
What sort of life do you live that makes you want to lie to hundreds of people get a fucking job you sad cunt
✔️
Halfmacgas
What a. Fucking cunt
✔️
dos1999
You sad sad cunt get a life 😂😂😂🤣you salty fucker
✔️
cwisgween
You sir, are a cunt.
✔️
srf0826
Fuck off cunt
✔️
Jhix
I'd ban you for being a cunt too
✔️
to clarify, these green ticks mean that yes, they are still active on the sub-reddit. i know it gets confusing when earlier on spoofex's green ticks meant the exact opposite of yes. This is just from the soccercourt threads. Literally hundreds more littered all over reddevils. I must say, dear reddevil mods, that you did an absolutely fantastic job at clamping down on targeted harassment. Obviously I'm not saying ban these people. Be a bit difficult when two of your mods joined in and were subsequently banned from soccercourt. But don't try to act all high and mighty about harassment when you actually only care about people being big meanies to spoofex. After all, if you turn on him then he'll stop dripping you that sweet, sweet Kool-Aid (I have no idea if this reference makes sense but you're all American so I have to level with you in some way). I understand you letting people go wild at DB. He's the ring-leader, right? The chupacabra of reddevils, if you will. He deserves it! Where DB draws the lines is you acting complicit in the abuse hurled towards DB's FRIENDS. These are GOOD PEOPLE. I'm freaking SHAKING. The noble Backseatsman was violently abused by oldhunterbean. This was in a direct reply to Spoofex, who did nothing about it. Mods aren't even trying to hide their bias. Thesolly180 then narrowly missed what can only be described as blatant attempted GBH. "Oh, but DB, Solly was mentioned in Pillock69's farewell post, he must be a weirdo!". It was 3 years ago, people change damnit! This comment, by the way, from MexicansInParis. This guy is so far up Spoofex he should take up a job as a full-time tapeworm. Clearly buoyed on safe with the knowledge he has the Beltrán-Leyva cartel's backing, he next comes for wonderfuladventure. He then tries to come for all the kings at once. Oh dear lord, what a sad little life MexicansInParis. Seems like this is a very consistently abusive member of the reddevils community. Wonder what their mods will do. SlainteCeltic then comes after the reading abilities of wonderfuladventure. Sources contradict this, however, as someone who is very close to Jorge Mendes reliably informed DB that wonderfulaventure was a free reader as early as year 4. Stynes comes after CoC patron sorrytoruinyourday. If he's weird then DB doesn't want to be normal. But DB is very normal. Big man targeryian then decides to come for the entire court, essentially committing an act of treason in the process. But hey, you're never going to take action when the abuse and harassment comes at the expense of DB and his back-of-the-bus tier friends. But what about that kid that your users bullied off reddevils? Or did he deserve it too? It's alarming how easy it is to find examples of your users being abusive and displaying signs of very clear harassment. Redcafe knows about your reputation, I can assure you de Ligt's girlfriend knows about it, everybody involved in soccercourt saw the very blatant brigading that took place within the first few hours of the thread. It's incredible how you can have such a stringent grip over harassment and abuse when it's against Spoofex, yet allow other examples of it to run rampant. Every example I listed there is from just two Muppet threads. You know, those threads that are a joke. And no one takes seriously. That culminated in a kid deleting his account because he was bullied, that culminated in drewing and his girlfriend being doxxed. I think we can all agree these are classic light-hearted jokes. You're bad at what you signed up to do and protect only a handful of the 165k subscribers you've got. You got me banned for harassment, have put out a gagging order on people mentioning my name and ban anyone who supports me. All because I criticised Spoofex. Yet you won't so much as try to pretend to protect any of your other users. But you are happy to use the drewing doxxing incident as a stick to beat the soccercourt mods with, because despite the fact it happened completely on your watch, the incident is apparently indicative of the larger consequences of the alleged poor moderation by the soccercourt team. There is no reason for the ITK threads to stay other than to feed Spoofex's ego. He's conceded defeat now, so I expect they'll soon be discontinued. Ironic that DB, a man famed in real-life for being a con man, famed on Reddit for being a sexy con man, has managed to correctly predict the actions of your sub-reddit better than anyone else yet. But it's all DB's fault. DB thinks not. swishswish "what's that sound?", DB hears you ask. That's the sound of DB's magic anti-harassment wand, casting a spell over the contents of this thread to protect it from being considered as harassment. Move along, Reddit Admins. Ah; missed one... DB_Cooper727 ✔️
Sam Kerr's transfer from Chicago Red Stars to Chelsea is probably the most talked up transfer in English women's football history. At 26 and having conquered America, one of the world's finest strikers is going to try her hand in Europe in her prime years - and it's not the monolithic Lyon that she has chosen. The addition of Kerr gives Chelsea's legion of creative attackers an elite focal point in the class of Arsenal's Vivianne Miedema. However, having not played since November, I expect the Australian to be eased in from the substitutes' bench against Reading - not least because current number 9 Beth England is in such fine form.
Chelsea striker Beth England is on top form
England has scored six goals in her last five games for Chelsea. That said, the Blues did slip up in their last game away at bottom of the league Liverpool, who held them to a 1-1 draw. However, Liverpool actually sport a very stubborn defence, having conceded only 12 goals in their 10 WSL games so far this season.
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Bet now New customer Offer. Bet up to £/€20 and if the bet loses, we'll refund you £/€20. T&Cs apply. Reading are not as solid, they have allowed 17 goals this season and they've lost to Arsenal and Manchester City without scoring this season. Though they did hold Chelsea 1-1 at Kingsmeadow in the Conti Cup in December, but that was a dead rubber group game of no consequence. Now four points behind leaders Arsenal [with a game in hand] Chelsea have more important business to attend to on Sunday. Chelsea to lead at half-time and win at full-time is a good bet at 5/6.
History is not on Reading's side
Reading have not beaten their hosts in seven attempts in the WSL and have not managed to stop Chelsea scoring in any of those games either. Kingsmeadow is likely to be packed as fans seek a glimpse of Sam Kerr, top scorer in the NWSL in each of the last three seasons. I expect her to get some minutes in the last third of the game, but for the game to be more or less over as a contest by the time she arrives. Betting on the margin of victory for Chelsea offers far better value than the 2/7 price for an outright win.
From BET365. They'll match the bet I put on before kickoff with an in-play bet of the same value. What would you advise? Is there a smart strategy for these kind of bets?
Saw a recent poll post in here asking the simple question: who wins with both of these fighters in their primes? A quick glance showed an overwhelming “not even a discussion RJJ” responses with a few Usyk supporters few and far between. The Matchup Roy Jones Jr Height: 5’11 Reach: 74 inches Record: 66-9 (51-0 in prime) 63% KO rate Weight class: Middleweight-Heavyweight Notable Amateur Accomplishments: Silver Medal-1988-Seoul (Olympic Games) Total Amateur Record: 121-13 Other Awards: As of February 2018, Jones holds the record for the most wins in unified light heavyweight title bouts in boxing history, at twelve. The Ring magazine named Jones the Fighter of the Year in 1994, and the World Boxing Hall of Fame named him the Fighter of the Year for 2003. He is also a three-time winner of the Best Boxer ESPY Award (1996, 2000, and 2003). The Boxing Writers Association of America named him as the Fighter of the Decade for the 1990s. Oleksandr Usyk Height: 6’3 Reach: 78 inches Record: 16-0 (75% KO rate) Weight class: Cruiserweight Notable Amateur Accomplishments: Gold Medal Light Heavyweight -2008-Liverpool (European Championship) Gold Heavyweight-2011- Baku (World Championship) Gold Heavyweight 2012-London (Olympic Games) Total Amateur Record: 335-15 *Other Awards: * Usyk is the most recent male boxer to simultaneously hold the WBA, WBC, IBF and WBO titles since Terence Crawford in 2017, and is one of only five boxers in history to do so after Crawford, Jermain Taylor, Bernard Hopkins, and Cecilia Brækhus. Usyk won the undisputed championship in his 15th professional fight, which is an all-time boxing record, and is the first undisputed champion from Ukraine. As an amateur, he won gold medals at the 2011 World Championships and 2012 Olympics, both in the heavyweight division. As of July 2018, Usyk is ranked as the world's best active cruiserweight by The Ring,[2] the Transnational Boxing Rankings Board (TBRB), ESPN, and BoxRec. He is also currently ranked as the world's fourth best active boxer, pound for pound, by The Ring and the TBRB; seventh by BoxRec; and eighth by ESPN. Now for the analysis: The first takeaway a boxing casual might notice is the obvious size disparity between the two. Usyk has about a 4 inch advantage in height and reach. Also, Usyk is the naturally bigger guy hovering around 200 pounds, whereas Jones has the naturally smaller frame. However, RJJ went successfully all the way to Heavyweight so I don’t feel these hinder him in any kind of way. Roy was known for his speed, power, and athleticism. He did things that others couldn’t. He defied the rules of boxing. Roy’s greatest strengths were his speed timing and athleticism. Usyk on the other hand is much more methodical and his greatest strengths are his is out of this world cardio, his Southpaw stance, his superior jab, footwork, and his ability to turn up the heat round by round and apply pressure consistently wearing down his opponent. Nostalgia has a funny way of making us reminisce on all the good things and forgetting the downfalls and flaws. Roy had weaknesses though: sometimes his inside game faltered, he would let you attack him on the ropes if you cornered him, and his jab hung lower than it should, but he made up with this with his insane athleticism and weaknesses in his younger days. That low jab positioning is why RJJ fight with Montell Griffith was closer than it should have been. These weaknesses became ever more apparent as he aged and lost the thing that separated him from the rest. Usyk on the other hand, his biggest weakness to date that I’ve been able to tell, is his tendency to have slow starts and make his matches a slow burn gradually turning up the heat, as well as his willingness to exchange blows when he fears a KO is near as we witnessed from Bellew. While he didn’t land cleanly, Usyk ate quite a few right hands. Conclusion* I believe with all the evidence at hand that Usyk would win against RJJ. I say this because I believe Usyk is the Ukrainian left handed modern day Ali, who’s Ring IQ is second to none, possibly equal with the likes of Mayweather and Lomachenko, whom I consider the sports current greatest even though Floyd has retired a few times. I also believe this because any advantages RJJ had against his opponents was mitigated each time he went up in weight. Usyk is about the make the jump to Heavyweight and I think his patience and methodical way of breaking down his opponents will overcome Roy’s out of this world athleticism and timing. This is not saying RJJ couldn’t beat Usyk, I’m just saying if there was a way to witness this event and I was a betting man, my money is on Usyk.
Thank you to all who made transfer suggestions yesterday. There is a poll below with 8 options for you to vote on, but first, here is how the team looks: Kneejerk United Fabianksi (4.7) | Button (4) Alexander-Arnold (5.2 / R) | Digne (5.2) | Doherty (5) | Schindler (4.3) | AWB (4.2) Salah (13.3) | Hazard (11) | Pogba (8.4) | Richarlison (6.7) | Snodgrass (5.3) Kane (12.4 / R) | Rashford (7.2) | Kamara (4.4) R = Red Flagged Transfers for Gameweek 23 There is 1 free transfer available and £0.0 ITB. Each transfer and the changes it would result in are explained below: Option 1 - Kane (12.4) to Aguero (11.2) [£1.2 ITB] "Let's get a City attacker... also they play Huddersfield this GW so a huge potential captain pick." Option 2 - Kane (12.4) to Aubameyang (11.3) [£1.1 ITB] "i bet auba and awb outscore the more popular (as of writing this) below option of jimenez and robbo [-4]. Gives enough money to get Luiz or VVD for TAA next week if news is bad. If news is good, then we just stay with TAA" Option 3 - Kane (12.4) & Snodgrass (5.3) to Jimenez (6.4) & Sane (9.6) [£1.7 ITB] {-4} "Kane and Snod to Sane and Jimenez....then Alexander Arnold next week to Robbo with remaining funds." Option 4 - Kane (12.4) & TAA (5.2) to Jimenez (6.4) & Robertson (6.7) [£4.5 ITB] {-4} 1) "this has to be it...play 3-5-2 this week and next week upgrade snod to a much better option." 2) "This allows a much better outlook, two nailed on players with better points-per-value than any other double swap options" Option 5 - Kane (12.4) & TAA (5.2) to Aubameyang (11.3) & Luiz (5.9) [£0.4 ITB] {-4} We take a -4, exchanging 2 injured players for an Arsenal player and a second Chelsea player to go alongside Hazard. Option 6 - Kane (12.4) & TAA (5.2) to Aguero (11.2) & Trippier (6.1) [£0.3 ITB] {-4} "Spurs have great fixtures and aguero looks fit to play against huddersfield." Option 7 - Kane (12.4) & TAA (5.2) to Aguero (11.2) & VVD (6.4) [£0.0 ITB] {-4} We take a -4, exchanging 2 injured players for a Man City player and a different Liverpool defender to go alongside Salah. Option 8 - No Transfer(s) As you would expect you have the choice to vote for none of the options above, in which case the team stays exactly the way it is now and we have 2 free transfers available for GW24. Ineligible Transfers Kane (12.4) and TAA (5.2) to Auba (11.3) and Van Dijk (6.4) This transfer is not possible. We are £0.1 short of this move. Kane (12.4) and TAA (5.2) to Auba (11.3) and Robbo (6.7) This transfer is not possible. We are £0.4 short of this move. Vote Here Please vote on your favourite option(s) in the poll above. You can select more than one option so that votes aren't split between the same players or players in the same price bracket/position. Voting is open until 22:00 GMT tonight. The community team is being run by 404randomguy404 and 2ManyPlebs this season. If you have any suggestions or improvements we would be happy to hear from you.
u/yancepantz: I love the card and washi! My favorite is the confetti one. Thanks for exchanging and sorry it took so long to send mine D: u/suzilla10: Thanks for the beatle(s) card! I love the holographic tape. I didn’t understand any of the explanation either, you’re not alone lol. I haven’t seen Yellow Submarine, but I did visit the Beatles museum in Liverpool! Does that count? u/teacu: Thanks for the belated birthday card!! I love the art. I haven’t tried the tea yet, as I have so many bags from other redditors to try too! Did you send the embroidered banana cream pie? It fell out of an envelope at some point, and I’m pretty sure it was yours, but not positive. I love it, and I’m amused that the ‘piee’ ended up on a second line, because that always happens to me lol. u/panpantastic: I finally got your Lunar New Year card! The envelope got a little beat up in the mail, but the card survived wonderfully. It’s absolutely gorgeous, thank you. ❤️ u/ReclusiveWolf: This month has been a hectic month of travel, and I’ve mostly managed to be out of town whenever it rained, so I’ve only used my umbrella once. I love the card, thank you :) u/mlcathcart x2: Belated St. Patrick’s Day! Thanks for the green and sparkly card, and the Ubehebe card. Ehueheuheuhuebe. :D u/banjogrizzly: Thank you for such a heartfelt card. I hope your quest has been going well -- you certainly touched me. Also, I incorporated half the stickers you sent me into my collection, and the other half is gonna be passed along! u/ejtnjin: I love the Carmel Mission card -- thank you! Carmel is such a beautiful little city. I went there once when I was in high school and had such a great time. Also salted caramel is my all-time favorite flavor! Thank you for sharing. :) u/slartibart_eatsalot: Thank you for the Taiwan card. Many of the friends I made in college are Taiwanese, and I really want to visit with them one day. I bet the food is amazing in addition to the architecture! 🍲 u/IndieGal_60: omg, St. Patrick’s Day guinea pig. This card makes me so happy. My boyfriend is from Wisconsin, but he is perhaps one of the lightest-weight drinkers I’ve met, including my asian friends that literally don’t have the right enzymes. Thanks for the card!! u/pastelspace: I love the Linköping card! Tack! u/wisdombabies: omg I love the lil cleaner guy on the Wall-E card you sent me. If I were a robot, I would be him. Everything. Must. be. CLEAN. Thank you!
Boosted odds for Premier League top games this weekend
This is a great weekend for those who enjoy betting on English football in general and the Premier League matches in particular. Bookmakers are scrambling to offer tempting promotions and bonuses to all those who open a new account or place real money wagers. These campaigns range from cash prizes and free bets to reimbursements on those wagers that end up losing. BetVictor is offering boosting odds on several Premier League matches, including the less prominent confrontation between Arsenal and Newcastle. Those who place a wager on this game and predict that Arsenal will prevail, will enjoy odds of 4/1, but only new members qualify for this campaign. Ladbrokes is running its very own promotion this weekend, with the bookmaker encouraging punters to bet on several games at the same time. Not only the odds are multiplied as a result, but if one selection loses, the player will have the stakes reimbursed in the form of a free bet. Accumulator bets are also very profitable if you wager with Bet365 and this bookmaker has expanded its promotion to include Serie A, Primera Liga, Bundesliga 1 or Champions League in addition to the English first flight. The highlight of the weekend is without a doubt the match between Manchester United and Liverpool and it is Paddy Power who makes the most tempting proposition. Signing up with his bookmaker will result in players enjoying odds of 11/2 for Man Utd to beat Liverpool on Sunday. If you hope to win more money and have a couple of games in mind, don't hesitate to take the bookie on its Premier League Acca offer for new customers. Wagering on Chelsea, Man City and Man Utd all to win will result in odds of 10/1. Betfair is one of the most popular betting exchanges and those who hope to cash in on better odds usually find a home here. This weekend alone, the bookmaker is offering odds of 3/1 for Chelsea to outshine Hull and new customers will also have their stakes refunded if they happen to lose this initial wager. The other match that is generously covered by the online gambling operator is the one between Arsenal and Newcastle. The hosts are overwhelming favorite to prevent, therefore the odds are not impressive but if you open an account with Betfair you can bump them to a massive value of 4/1. from via Casinoreviews
The most distant Kitsune - Tokyo Dome Trip - Part 6 - The Metal Resistance Continues
WALL OF DEATH… ehh I mean Text
Hello again! This is a continuation of my story Here you can find Part 1 (the rest in the comments). This part is all about TOKYO DOME - Black Night and the end of my trip.
I am sorry, but this part is by far the longest (I stopped because I reached Reddit's 40000 character limit), but I figured not to put another part with my conclusions alone. Also, I think I should publish this, lol, 28.000 words, 45 pages, and counting.
I am sorry for the long wait. We’ve had the absolute worst heat wave. 42C every single day for the past week, and a terrible storm on Tuesday did nothing to help. It actually made things worse, this was my highway (yes, highway) offramp, here is a video. Some poor people decided to take the surface road, needless to say, it didn’t end well. All of this has lead to long blackouts. So I couldn’t do anything. Thankfully, the weekend arrived and power is now stable (still hot though), Monday and Tuesday are holidays, os it gives me extra time for this. We also got an eclipse on Sunday! But please, now, enjoy…
Tuesday - 20th (Black Night): I woke up to see that there were several videos from last night, I wanted to watch them all, and the the dresses from the night before (I hadn’t even seen them, I only saw ants move across a stage), but I had to leave early to go to see a family member of mine. He lives near Shibuya. He’s been living in Japan for over 50 years, and I hadn’t seen him since I was a kid. So I went (very difficult to find the platform for his train line in Shibuya Station, its at the very end). I got off and it was a pretty small Station, a lot of people my age, though, because there was a university nearby. I loved that I came to see him because I was able to walk through some very Anime-like neighborhoods, crossing the train tracks, and everything. I found the house (at the very end of his complex). I brought him some food from Argentina, and we spoke for awhile, it was a nice experience. After leaving, I went back to Akihabara, where some redditors (shackonthetarget, zarcka_metal, bogdogger, and... I don’t know the username of you other, sorry, if you see this please tell me) were in a Maid Cafe, I decided to join them. When trying to find the building, I saw a maid outside giving out fliers, I asked her (she spoke better English than my hotel staff, lol) she directed me into the building behind her. It was floors and floors of games, and I just could, t find where I had to go. Turns out, you had to get on the elevator on the first floor :/ I finally got there, and saw them. I really can’t speak perfectly about this, it was a really weird experience, especially since I haven’t seen any Anime. I knew none of the phrases they were saying, but… its something I think everyone should do in Japan. The food was adorable, and so were the maids. We were able to keep the bunny/cat ears. Can’t say I have put them to any use. lol. The coolest part was that they were playing BABYMETAL over the speakers for us (we didn’t even ask), and one of them went on stage and sang Headbanger!!! She knew all the moves! That was seriously a really cool part of the trip, Thanks to shackonthetarget for the idea! After eating, we then headed just half a block over to… Trio :) Well, in reality, we kinda did more in the rest of the building (Akihabara Radio Kaikan). Mostly in the rest of the Anime shops. Shackonthetarget was very excited at all the things sold. Now that I have seen some Anime, I understand, and know some characters. But at the time, I didn’t really know any. But it was still super funny the NSFW positions some Anime girls were put in, like, not even subtle.
Tokyo Dome After that, we headed to Tokyo Dome. It didn’t stop raining (thanks typhoon). I went with some to a 7/11 (like I didn’t know enough of them already), because they had to take out cash (The Maid Cafe was not cheap). Everyone went to their hotels, and I waited there for like half an hour. I saw a billboard in the middle of the “mall” in Tokyo Dome City, it was Himeka!!! I am sad to say I can’t find the picture I KNOW I took… Oh well… I waited until shackonthetarget and zarcka_metal came back, and we went to an English pub there (called The HUB). They had this on the wall, which I couldn’t stop laughing about (technically, Celtic does use it from time to time, but that chant is associated way more with Liverpool, lol). They were playing BABYMETAL too, and with reason, since it was full of kitsunes. We spent like and hour or two talking, and drinking. An hour before the show was going to start we headed to the Dome. I was laughing because of the amount of people who had an extra ticket for the show,. They were trying to give them away for free (they were all gate 41, my section, lol), if only I had known. Some were exchanging them in the Tokyo dome Hotel lobby. One person in the group (was it BigBobby2016?) couldn’t find the hotel. We were laughing our asses off because this is what you see from the Tokyo Dome, there are no towers even close to the height in the area, and the name is on the top, lol. We separated at this point, I stood at the entrance for a few minutes, maybe I could see a famous BM fan, or the ones I knew. I did get to meet the girls from the video circulating at the time (no picture, I didn’t want to put them, or their parents in a tight spot, they are young after all. I did catch them in a video I took, though (only briefly). No line this time, since we entered much after the gates opened. This seat was much better than yesterdays, I would say one of the best seats, I had the middle (front) of the stage directly in front of me. I was high up, but this meant I had a great view of the entire stadium, especially considering I was just before the veranda, and next to the aisle. And as I waited for the show to start, I saw a familiar face, gardiguy, he got one of the free tickets, and was a few seats behind me, so I went over to him and talked a bit. He was actually supposed to be at the Sumo championship, he said he had fun, but that he got bored (the presentations take ages for a 5 second fight). I had told him he would prefer BM over that. Then, maron-metal ’s wife appeared, Eriko. She had the other seat next to gardiguy, we talked a little more, but I left as the “owners” of the seat came, not before taking a picture! Sorry Eriko, got you with your eyes closed :/ We were also sending pictures of our views (on the Line group), and look at the terrible seat sho-taBlue got, poor guy. As you can see in the picture, I wore the Argentina jersey. I had actually wanted to take the flag I had, but I didn’t want to get into any trouble, or bother any one around me. This was a great compromise. Plus, I knew I would be easily spotted. And, I was, I can see myself in the ProShot!!!
Black Night
VIDEO SHOWING HOW BM GOT HERE So, I sat in my spot, put on my corset, and had the Onedari Dollars, and Awadama Balloons in my pocket; since they weren’t played the day before, I knew they would be played today. So… the lights started dimming down again… Ohh the excitement filled the air… Show Start: Koba appeared again… I can’t remember, but I’m sure at least 99% of what was said was the same as Red Night. Then, another video started… with the BABYMETAL DEATH Intro. Fuck Yes!!! The best song to start a show with!!! Every time I hear it, I get goosebumps. The video started explaining how the whole world joined here this night, I felt so good being a part of this. The woman in the video asked if we were ready to headbang? “Yeah!!!” Then again: “the Fox God can’t here you. Are you ready to Headbang?!” “YEEEAHHHH!!!!” Everyone screamed! Song 1: I can’t explain how loud I shouted every single letter: “B” “A” “B” “Y” then, the “M” that the Japanese pronounce more like an “L-O”, that ones kinda tricky. And so on… In my section, most people didn’t jump, but I wasn’t about to let that change me, I jumped like I was in THE ONE section, almost hitting the person next to me each time. Then came “Death” (desu) ”Death” “Death”… I love it with that long outro with the lights behind the girls. Song 2: Awadama Fever, all I can say about this song is: “AHH… YEAH! Tondeke, ba ba baburu gamu!” (I don’t care its a Su part, I sang anyway!) Plus, I really enjoy the middle break, and the “1, 2, 3, 4 !” ..n “Hii fuu mii yoo!” I love this song because since most movements are with the arms, and not too complicated, Su can join in the choreography with Yui & Moa, more-so than usual. (I just noticed in the second video almost at the end the little dance Yui does… Love it!] Song 3: Ohh yeah… I could hear a “motorcycle” (at least, thats what I think of when I hear it). One of my favorites is coming, and I think supremely underrated… Uki Uki Midnight!!! I love electro-pop, plus some added Metal in the background, you get a masterpiece. Again… I thought I was going to lose my voice completely… only 3 songs in, and they were some of my favorites… I knew the Ainote perfectly, and shouted every, single, one. “You and ME”! Plus that end segment is one of my favorite BM moments… (I hope they add a little more of the wide shot with the lights in the Delorean) This is turning in to an awesome show! Song 4: We could hear drums… that means its META time. I gotta say, at this point I was thinking “great, a “slow” song” (one I particularly never got the feeling for). Ohhh, boy, was I wrong. I the only choreography was the slow walk back and forth, but these little “jiggles” by Yui and Moa… they caught me. And the deal was finally closed wth the “oooohhhh… oooohhh…. “ chant. (THAT I APPEAR IN!!!) That part was just too impressive, I did not expect anything like it. By FAR one of my favorite moments of the shows. I wasn’t too fond of Meta Taro, but when you heard all the stadium singing in unison, it gave a new meaning to song, I will never forget that. Song 5: Sis Anger Another one I couldn’t really “get”, sadly… I still can’t get it. To me they removed from this song the reason I listen to BM… Kawaii + Metal, Pop + Metal. I am not saying I dislike the metal portion… I love it, but I don’t like how they changed the girls’ tone of voice. I do love the intro though… I’ll get it at some point… It did give us this gorgeous Yui silhouette… Song 6: Another amazing intro… (I LOVE INTROS!!!!) They really hype the song more than if it were just played… I think context is as important as the main subject. It was Mischiefs of the Metal Gods. Boy… are their mischiefs good. The Kami band (to me) has become such an essential part of BM. I can’t imagine BM without them… Boh is just…. The best. His part with everyone clapping is just freaking amazing! It makes a guy shed a tear how he can play with both hands. But don’t think I don’t share any love for the rest. Ohmura always goes crazy, even when not in the spotlight. LEDA is methodical, he is always 100% concentrated on what he is doing, throwing a face every now and then. Song 7: Obviously… after a Kami solo… comes Su solo. Another INTRO!!! This time its a slow piano + orchestra intro. It really is music to present the queen. Yui and Moa get some hijinks stories, a perfect fir. While the Queen gets proper Royal entry music. I am conflicted, but if someone asks me my favorite song, its either Akatsuki, or Kimi to Anime ga Mitai (I know, completely different). One wasn’t (and might never again be) played. So Akatsuki definitely was going to be my favorite. The thing with Su solos is the lack of participation. Black BM songs are essentially 50% crowd participation (4 no Uta is like 90%). But this seems like I say it is bad… NO! We are watching a spectacle. With MoiMoi, we have fun WITH them. With Su… I would see we watch her have an inner battle… could be anything, only she knows, but we do see her get better and better at it. Every time she gets on the stage she immediately steals the spotlight, and doesn’t waste it one bit. Song 8: Onedari Daisakusen. My favorite Black BM song. I love this song, but with the lack of fancams and it not being in the WOWOW broadcast… I can’t seem to remember much. I can tell you my favorite part is the break in the middle with: “One for the money, two for the money…, money, money, money…” and then the “Katte! Katte! Katte! … Chodai! Chodai! Chodai!…” Song 9: No Rain No Rainbow. Another song I had underestimated. Note, I loved this song. Its the only BM song my family can listen to, I have played the Budokan Live for the past year, can’t wait to be able to switch to the Tokyo Dome version; of they liked Budokan, they will love Tokyo Dome’s version. When I say I underestimated it, its because I didn’t believe it could be THAT much more impactful live, since its a slower, less loud, song. But I was entirely wrong, I would say its one of the songs that most improves in the live version. You can feel Suzuka put all her strength into the vocals of this song, killing every note. The same goes for the Kami, they seem to be involved emotionally into the song as well, the guitar duets really shine in this one. Since it wasn’t released in WOWOW, I did a little “Remaster”; adding the Intro, and using the best video I found, with the bootleg audio. I am truly sorry for those that were saluted by the Queen at the start of the song, we know that is impossible to survive, RIP. Song 10: Doki Doki Morning. The one that started it all some 6 and odd years ago. Amazing they can still play it with such spirit after all these years. You can (obviously) see a huge improvement. Moa now remembers when to start, lol The three girls reappeared, all on the upper stage! How are they gonna dance up there? Its so small! Somehow, they found the same to do so.This song was so fun, after a very emotional No Rain No Rainbow, it brought everyone back up! Song 11: “Kitsuneeee…” Ohh shit…. Here comes the fan favorite (at least, under my understanding). By far… no other song is close… Megitsune. This song was even more powerful given we visited the shrine where they filmed the MV the night before. As soon as it started with just the first “SORE!” I immediately knew it was everyones favorite, far louder than anything else I had heard up to then, everyone was putting all their strength here. The best part: I didn’t expect a C&R at all… but we got one! Just after the slow part of the song: “Are you Ready? Are you ready TOKYO DOME!?!!” I don’t even know what Yui or Moa said, but I shouted with everyone anyway! “Soiya Soiya Soiya Soiya….” “SORE!” (X2!!!) I expect the doubled “sore” part even less… But I’m so glad we had it… it really helps. Song 12: Gothic Music? You better bet its some Head Banger!… “but I had head banged too much, how can this song live up to its name now?” Ohh… if only I could have shut my mouth… I barely knew what was about to come. The first part… completely standard. Same callbacks as always (only louder because there was so much more people than always. Then… the longest headbanger in history. My arm hadn’t even been able to rest from the night before… I really thought my arm was going to literally fall off. I had to switch arms… I just couldn’t continue with both. I knew at this point how much THE ONE must train their heads and arms for this. I was doing some major amateur work. I also noticed the Kami was into it too… the 3 (Ohmura, LEDA, and Boh) were on the floor (must be really hard to play). Again, no idea what Yui or Moa were saying… lol. Even Su got some talk in! Sadly (or thankfully, at least) a guy who was on the floor bowing down over and over was shown only a second on the WOWOW broadcast. But I remember clearly from the show, he was shown on the big screen for a VERY long time, must have been well over 30 seconds. There was also smoke, but I was surprised MoiMoi didn’t get an upgrade and get some cannons by this point… (Note for Koba next time ;). Song 13: The “oh so famous”piano Intro (with Sus voiceover) started. First I thought it was odd it was in English, though the whole show was like that. But more importantly, I clearly saw they changed what was usually said to include the lighting of the corsets. (Talking about “linking our hearts together”) Actually, the whole thing was mostly changed. At this moment the corsets lit up (with RED this time!!). Sadly, I have to say my corset didn’t work this time :( Its difficult to see with it on, so I took it off for a second, and saw the light was NOT working… Oh well, nothing I can do now. Then, Su appeared, and Yui and Moa on the end of the coffin platforms! At this moment I looked at the crowd, to see if thy would maybe move the chairs to the side and MOSH! Nope. Yui and Moa started their run, and the whole stage was “set on fire”. Actually, small fires remained through the whole song. Encore: A sad part, to see the end of the shows. But the crowd was as wild as ever, and the Kami and the girls were really loose now. I clearly remember (and am helped by the pro-shot) Su’s face after the first set of “We are BM!” First she. Had the biggest grin on her face, and she immediately turned into a “your damn right we are” face. You could see her through the entire thing, she was ecstatic. I talk more about Su, because even during the songs (especially Black BM) you get to see Yui and Moa act more. But thats not to say they (and even the Kami) weren’t letting all the energy left out! I was in awe looking at the entire stadium, everyone shouting in unison “We Are BM!!!” Ever since I first saw the Budokan Blurays this had been a dream, to be in Japan shouting the famous phrase. I was so into it, that I missed the, now incredibly famous moment; Su’s slip. I did see her on the floor, though, since the whole stadium shouted: “Oooohh” as soon as it happened. Then Yui almost slipped as well! MoiMoi grabbed each other, and trying not to slip themselves. They got to the end, hugging each other. This is, by far, the most memorable moment of the trip. And then Su giving Yui and Moa a moment with the Mic. They seemed thrilled she would offer it. And add some confusion with Moa. They then went to the center stage, did a “We are BM!” Again, and disappeared! But we were not alone, for the Kami came out, poor LEDA slipping in the same spot as Su.
End Just so you know why things might get a bit moody from here on out, while I wrote this, I was listening to X Japan’s Tears,Say Anything and Art of Life, a deadly combination. X Japan has a HUGE role in BM existence; if you can, please go see them at Wembley on March 4th.
When it ended, this time I wasn’t as… pensive, as last time. I didn’t have ANY type of BM blues, like the day before, because this time, I had something to do. With the meet up group, we were set to meet outside the stadium. Before leaving my seat, I (having nothing to “lose” now), I took 3 pictures (I don’t know why I didn’t just take an F***ing Panorama). So, I started While trying to get outside, the pressure from inside and the wind pushed you out, lol. As I got down to the bottom of the stairs, some guys saw my t-shirt and shouted: “Vamos Argentina!!!” I was laughing so much, and answered with a fist in the air:”Asi me gusta! Vamos Japon, tambien!” Everyone around us had a horror look on their face, like I was shouting like some demented preacher. Too bad I didn’t stop and take a picture, I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss my group. I got to the entrance, and waited 2 minutes before aunthor appeared. He told me he had seen me in the stadium, that he was just a couple (couple much) seats behind me. Too bad I didn’t know at the time. We were set to go to the HUB pub. We went there (just a few hundred meters away), still raining. The place was packed, with no sign of our group. They sent a message, they were looking around the Suidobashi station for somewhere to eat, so we headed there. The station was packed, again. While we waited I went over to a guy selling sets of printed pictures of some BM shows. Koba would have probably gone livid if he saw this (remember Mexico). We got a message. They had found a restaurant, on the other side of the station from Tokyo Dome. They sent a picture of the front so we could spot it. We walked towards it, trying too find it, and we spotted Kentosdad, who had came outside to signal us, in case we missed it. Bless him, he was waiting in the heavy rain; he even stayed outside for others that were coming. We went upstairs, again, you had to remove your shoes before going inside. We entered and found our group, we took up an entire section (4 tables) of the restaurant. AS I was sitting down, I realized I hadn’t used any of nabazul s gifts :/ * Yelp . Ehhh…. Better not say anything. *:()** Everyone was trying to get everything they saw during the night out at the same time, it was impossible, but we finally could talk slowly about each part of the show. I remember xacto_knife talking about how everyone was off-sync in the Megitsune “wave”. I had noticed it too while we were doing it, everyone was moving off-beat. Everyone was shouting when they had their arm behind their head, when it should be in front of their head. At the time I thought it had to do with the time it took for the sound to move across the stadium, but if you see in the video, even the people some rows back were doing it wrong (while the front row was doing it right). We talked about why the baseball net was still up? It kinda blocked the view for some. When everyone had arrived we finally started ordering. Poor kentosdad had to order everything from this tablet on the table, there were so many orders! Looking around us, most of the tables (if not all) were BM fans. Some were getting quite drunk, from what one could hear (shouting) lol. A couple (a man and a woman) in a table next to us were curious. They asked some questions, where we were from, and whatnot. Some from our group gave them their fan creations. I think pepcok s chains, and DaemonSD s pins/keychains? After this they wanted a picture with all of us, we obviously obliged. I can’t remember why, but we took another picture without the guy, but with the girl. Not that I’m complaining. I can’t even remember what we ate that night, had so many thoughts crossing through my mind. We stayed there talking about the shows until like 12, when some of us had to leave (because trains stop at like 1 AM, don’t want to be left stranded). We all said our goodbyes, and those who didn’t stay in this area headed to the station. I went on the train with Kentosdad, and someone else (who was it?). This other person got off at the first station. And I continued with Kentosdad to Akihabara (2nd station). Knowing this was the end of my journey, I thanked him, and we waved goodbye. I got to the hotel around 1:30AM. I got a picture of an almost deserted Akihabara Station. I kinda stayed there for a minute watching, knowing this was my last night. When the trains stopped passing, I decided it was time, and went to bed.
Wednesday (9/21)I woke up to see this. Busted… lol (look who is in the background). Lets just say… someone * cough * kentosdad * cough * had called in sick for Tuesday… Needless to say, I don’t think BM fever is an acceptable condition to leave work. I knew I would return home in the afternoon, so I packed my things, checked out, and left my bag in the lobby. Before I left, I had to do one last stop in Trio. I went over, and I happened to meet two foreigners there. It just so happened they were suzukayuimoa and fukei-metal. The funny thing is, we didn’t know each other were redditors! We only found out when I recognized suzukayuimoa in his post, and fukei-metal happned to appear in the comments! What a small BM world. I ended up buying the Land of the Rising Sun T-shirt. I really liked it, ever since I saw the Japan map in the back. But I was really still searching for the Doodle sweatshirt, I didn’t find it anywhere :( ( However, I just bought it last week on Buyee :).) We went together a little, around Akihabara, entering a few shops with some BM things. I forgot to take pictures this time :/ We ended up separating when we entered a shop, I decided to stay for a while longer to buy friends any family gifts. As soon as I got everything I wanted, I left back to my hotel. But, I just couldn’t, I had something in the back of my mind controlling me, saying: “You must buy something else.” Sigh… I went back to Trio… Thankfully, I had the mindset to buy something cheap, so I ended up getting this Yui SG “signed” postcard. Ironically its something I am very grateful to have purchased, I love the little postcard. At this point, I didn’t have time for any more detours. I went back to my hotel, and got my bag from the lobby. Before leaving I noticed that the Halloween decorations were already up (over a month before October 31st), quite off for me for it to be so early. I took the train from Akihabara (Yamanote Loop), to Tokyo Station. There I went down to the Narita Express (its direct to the terminals, and its made to take bags, unlike regular trains). As it went by the buildings, I got my last sight of a landmark, the gigantic Tokyo Skytree. I watched as it went by, it seemed to never want to go away… I forgot to mention that, the 19th, I had sent one of my bags to the airport (full of new clothes and gifts). First thing I did at the airport was go and get it. They are really fast, and cheap, what an amazing service. I found the JAL check-in area, and as soon as the staff member started checking me in, he was like: “Argentina?! You have a long way to go, I do not envy you” Lol. Before going through passport control, I explored the shops a bit. I went into the Pokemon shop, and played a bit with this… odd game. I then tried to find a place to eat. I found this restaurant with a beautiful view over the airplanes.This cost less than $10 at the airport!!! How is this possible?!?! I went inside the Terminal, passing passport control, and passed a shop which had tons of people going nuts in it for some reason…??? I finally got to my gate, and saw this beautiful JAL 777, next to our plane (booked from our view). I was a little early, so I watched a bit of news, and even the Sumo wrestling gardiguy had seen the day before! But, it was finally here, time to board. I can’t say I was amused getting on a 787 this time… I did carry something with me, though, the Wembley memorial T-shirt. By this point the shirt was completely sweaty, and I did bing a spare shirt, but I did not want to take it off, I wanted to keep it on, forever. Then, the moment had to come at some point, we took off. I watched, with tears in my eyes, as this magical place, where I had met incredible people, and had the time of my life, was being left behind me. I was reanimated by watching some of my favorite shows to distract me, I just couldn’t listen to BM at this moment, it would not brighten up my day, and I never want BM to be associated with any negative thoughts. The amazing Japanese food from JAL lightened my mood up again, as a final Japanese farewell. Then, we crossed the International Date Line, I was once again back in my side of the world. Finally arriving in New York 14 hours after we took off. I did have a bright point here, I always love saying this: I left Tokyo at 6:30PM, and arrived in New York at 6PM, the SAME DAY. (mint-flavored time machine, maybe?) This time, I was in no rush, I had plenty of time to get to my gate, and the excitement obviously isn’t there anymore. I did get this beautiful picture of the sunset I had seen twice, now. I was sadly reminded why I viewed Japan so highly. Since I had to change terminals, I had to do TSA again. I can not describe the disgusting attitude these specific “staff” members (more like bullies to me) had towards people. There were quite a few foreigners who didn’t speak English there (yeah, I know, how dare they? at an AIRPORT?!?!? Who do they think they are?) /s I had to translate to some Spanish speakers, since the staff made no attempt to help them. Too much on that, lets continue. Since my sense of time was screwed (it was currently the evening, but for me it was the morning), I went over to a store and got a Strawberry milk (my favorite every time I go to the US), and a chocolate bar. I spoke to my dad, and he was telling me not to eat fats. I was like: “I have no idea what time it is, and barely recognize where I am, I’m gonna eat whatever I want, haha” (he understood I was mostly joking). I waited for my plane, and heard some commotion in the gate entrance, I wouldn’t have guessed in a million years who it was. I heard someone say “Macri, sos un capo!” This can’t be?!? (Macri is Argentina’s current president). Since I didn’t see him, and I was in coach, I didn’t know if it was truly him, or just some celebrity with security and someone got confused. I hadn’t even realized, but as soon as the flight took off, I crashed, this had never happened to me before, much less on a flight. I ended up waking up very close to reaching Argentina. I was waken up by the breakfast service (I was thinking of dinner, lol). As soon as I got the food, I knew I had come back to reality hahahah Watching the map this time didn’t help, either. Getting ever closer to home. When we landed, and got to the gate. It ended up being true, the president WAS on the flight! A cool anecdote to end this incredible trip on. When I arrived back home, first thing I did was go into YouTube and look at the Shibuya Crossing live broadcast I must have stared at the feed for a good hour before I realized I had stuff to do. The BM blues are real people, and I had to add to that Japan blues. They both hit hard once I returned. I watched every single fancy I could to relive those memories. I kept watching all the pictures I had taken and remembered every beautiful moment. Thankfully, to soften the blow, I also stayed in contact with the amazing people I met at the meet ups, and they shared great pictures of the amazing time they were having in Japan. We actually continued speaking, remembering the important parts of the trip. I also got to keep the amazing “toys” Koba let us keep! And brought some snacks (I still have a lot, I just can’t get myself to eat them!).
Conclusions: The trip was something I needed, I needed that culture shock. No culture is perfect, and I know its 100% different living than just being there. A few days to have fun. But there are some things that don’t change: being able to walk through the streets with a phone in my hand, no matter the hour, or if the street didn’t have any lights, it didn’t matter. People acting “civilized” on public transportation (I will never forget the songs at train stations, I even downloaded them!), as if other people mattered. People treating you like a human being at shops and restaurants, trains/buses not arriving 40 minutes late, and then going slower than 40km/h. This was a different world altogether. I mean, I noticed this before I even came back. In the New York Airport (JFK), I went to a store, and the prices were absurd, remember what I ate in Narita for less than $10, well, here they were selling a 300ml coke bottle for $5 (I won’t even tell you what it costs in Argentina, because I already showed you in part 2). When a customer complained about this, the clerk told the customer, and I quote: “Fuck off, if you don’t like it, don’t buy.”. But, even better, the second landed, I am not kidding, the baggage handling union started a strike, the only reason I got my bag that day, was because I happened to be flying on the same plane as the president! So, apart from giving me an amazing time and memories, it was really a life lesson. I had often questioned the “need” to break my ass off studying, and at work, I was kinda lost. But this trip really opened my eyes. If I ever want to actually improve my quality of life and reduce my stress with the most basic things, I have to work as hard as I can to get the hell out of here. It doesn’t need to be Japan, but I really can’t live here for another 20 years, I just… can’t. Sorry to lay that on you guys, I got into a little rant. I was a bit sad that I didn’t go to the afterparty on Red Night, or that I didn’t meet anyone outside the stadium. But I still love all the people I met in the meet ups! When I left for Japan, to me, this subreddit was a community, people who helped each other in their time of need, and always there, to discuss a (probably at times not healthy) love for a band. Not just any band. A unique kind of band. A band that moves people enough to change their entire lifestyles, to make any accommodations possible for the sake of even getting a mere glimpse of the members. However, when returning, I realized I was wrong. We are more than that, we are a big family, that traverses “generations, boundaries, time and space itself”. Its not just that. I take all of you as part of tightly nit family. You guys did everything possible for me to have an amazing time at Tokyo. Thanks to every single person who helped me! Honestly, just being able to be with the community is a major part of why I want to go see a BABYMETAL show again. I don’t think any other band has this type of community. I am waiting for them to come down here so I can meet the local BM community. I have met some though Facebook and WhatsApp groups, but I hope to see them in person. I have started a Spanish subreddit (/BABYMETALespanol), though I have just started with the Wiki for now, and this is the first time I mentioned it publicly. I also want to see everybody again, and hopefully new kitsunes whenever my next trip is.
I think I speak in name of everyone when I say: I need the Blu-rays, right NOW!!!
Here is an album with all the pictures of this post.
Thank You for reading this post. And special thanks to all those who read the entire 6 posts. Lets hope my next trip is not that far away. But, until then; Put Your Kitsune Up! 🤘
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