Sports Betting Tips and Advice - Picks & How to Win at The ...

So a lot of you will know that I regularly post guides and tips about match betting, However since the same questions always come up in the comments, I decided to make one big, very thorough Mega Guide in order to eliminate as many doubts as possible for you guys. Like I said before, This guide is a handy way to sort out a month's rent for 5 or 6 hours work, so I really hope it can be of use to someone. Anyway, Here it is:
PART 1: MATCH BETTING EXPLAINED; HOW TO MAKE £500 IN 5/6 HOURS
Having done my research and having been able to turn a really nice profit in such a short time, I wanted to make a short guide to eliminate people's doubts and simplify things a little. Since it really doesn't take a lot of time to hit that £500 profit mark, it's a shame not to try it out. Anyway, Here it goes:
I was sceptical as hell about Match betting because a friend showed me the Facebook groups and it just looked like a giant gambling pyramid scheme. It turns out there is a decent chunk of change to be made from it, you just need to follow the guides and never ever actually gamble with your money.
Never ever Gamble? Yes That's right, you are going to be using Gambling sites to complete the various offers, but the whole idea behind match betting is that every time you "make a bet", you match that same bet on the exchange. So for example, if I bet £10 for Real Madrid to Win on the Bookie Site at odds of 2.5, I then also make a Matched bet on the Exchange (This is a separate site such as Smarkets or Betfair) where I bet for Real Madrid not to win at odds of 2.5 (or as close as I can get to those odds). In this way I am covered in all outcomes, and it allows me to fulfill the requirements of the bookies offer (For example Bet £10 and get £30 in Free bets)
What's the difference between the Bookie Site and the Exchange? On the Exchange Site you are basically being the Bookie and just like a Bookie, you have liability. If I bet £10 and my bet wins at odds of 2.5 then I win £25, so the bookies liability for this bet is £15, the extra money that they would have to give me if I win. There are calculators on the Match betting sites which you can use to calculate what Liability you need to enter on the exchange each time you make your matched bet. There is also software to help you find what games have the closest odds on both the bookies and the exchange, which is very important.
What do I do when I get my free bets? It's the same process again, You find a game that has very close odds on both the bookies and the exchange ( You can do this by eye or by using odds matching software. A good site with this software is called OddsMonkey). Only this time when you use the calculator to work out your liability, you will set it to "Free bets SNR" so it knows you are not using real money. It will tell you how much Liability to use in the exchange and off you go.
How does this make me money? The fact that you have a free bet to use is what makes you money, For example a £30 free bet at odds of 5.5 in the bookies will win you £135 (30x 4.5, because the original free bet stake of £30 is not returned to you). Now let's say that the closest odds I can find in the Exchange for the same game are 6.0, I will need a liability of £112.50 to match my free bet in the bookies ( I use the calculator on oddsmonkey to work this out)
£135- 112.50 = £22.50 in Profit.
Alternatively if my bet on the exchange wins, I will lose the free bet of £30 (but it's not actually a loss to me because It's not real money) and I will win £22.50 on the exchange. Either way, I make a Profit of £22.50
What about providing card details? You can use a separate, virtual bank account for all your match betting, In this way your main banking information is not shared with any of the sites you sign up to. A good one to use is Monzo, the app is easy to use and it only takes 5 minutes to open an account. It's free to open an account and last I checked they actually have a referral scheme where you get £5 if you sign up through a referral link.
Non Referral here: https://monzo.com/
Where can I learn to do it? There are some sites that you have to pay a monthly subscription to but I found one called Team Profit that is free and has a full guide of all the different offers you can complete.
I worked my way down through the list of offers, nice and handy, and having completed 20 offers at 15 minutes per offer, I came out at £470 for 5 hours total of work.
If you are new to this site and are opening a free account I would really appreciate if you use my Referral (£10)
Here is the non referral link to the page with all the offers: https://www.teamprofit.com/welcome-offers-list
TLDR: You do not need to "gamble" to match bet, in fact by definition, the bet you make is "matched" on the exchange, so it is not a gamble in any sense.

PART 2: MAKING £500-£1000 EVERY MONTH.
You may sometimes see people commenting saying they have made a lot more money since finishing the welcome offers, £1000-£1500 a month and such, but never saying exactly how...
Personally I have made a lot more profit every month since I finished the welcome offers, Usually around the £1000 per month mark.
People say that Match betting drys up once you finish the welcome offers but this is simply not true, it's a matter of being more organised and checking your email for new offers, while also checking the Reload Offers section on Team Profit every morning (Takes literally 5 minutes)
Below is an Example from last month where I made £300 in one week. Bare in mind that the amount you make weekly will vary with the amount of sport that is on, but as long as there's sport, you will always be able to earn. This example is simply to show you the potential Match Betting has long after you've completed the Welcome offers:
Here's exactly how I did it:
Coral: Money back as a free bet up to £50 if your team is ahead in the first half but doesn't win the match in the end: Matched 5 Premier League games, 3 were successful. I received three £50 free bets which I matched and turned into £130 profit risk free. £130 in 30 minutes
William Hill: Money Back as Cash if your horse comes 2nd- 2 of the 6 horses I matched came 2nd, I was also able to make a profit by just matching the bets because my odds were higher on the bookies side by using the Happy Hour odds (between 12pm-1pm, 3 horses with enhanced odds) and also the 3 daily bet boosts on Horse raising( to boost my odds on another 3 horses). £20 in 5 minutes
Paddy Power: Money Back up to £10 if Horse comes 2nd 3rd or 4th, Matched the horse with the lowest odds and sure enough it came 3rd, got my £10 free bet. £8 in 3 minutes
Skybet: Money Back as cash up to £10 if Horse comes 2nd 3rd or 4th, Matched the horse with the lowest odds and sure enough it came 3rd, got my £10. £9.50 in 3 minutes
Skybet: Wednesday Super odds: Matched the three super odds on the exchange and due to the difference in odds (If the odds on the bookies are greater than those for same bet on the exchange you are automatically profiting). £10 in 3 minutes
Boylesports: £10 Free bet if your bet loses(Premier League Match): £8 in 3 minutes
Paddy Power 2up: An offer where you get paid out early if your time goes up by 2 goals, the profit varies depending on what the odds on the exchange are when you back the team you orignally lay against, but this offer can make you a lot of profit (You will need to download the team profit calculator app and use the early payout calculator). Last week it Made me £35. £35 in 5 minutes
Novibet: Deposit £100 and get a £50 free bet. Very easy because you just have to deposit the money, get your free bet, withdraw your £100 straight away, then match the free bet on the exchange. £40 in 5 minutes
Coral: Bet 3x £5 in play and get a £5 free bet-Availble everyday. Just match these at half time so the odds are stable, Make sure you also place mug bets every couple of days if you do this one a lot, I would reccomend doing it 5 times a week tops. £20 in 30 minutes
Paddy Powe Skybet Bet clubs: Bet 5x £10 bets in a week to get a £10 free bet with Paddy Power. Bet £25 in a week to get a £5 free bet with Skybet. £10 in 30 minutes

Above you can see the reality of making profit long after you've finished the welcome offers, but it comes down to organisation.
So in Summary, these are my 6 Rules for making a monthly Profit:
(1) Check your email daily for offers, many times bookies will send you personalised offers just for you, and these can be very VERY generous.
(2) Check the Reload Offers section on Team profit every morning to see what offers are available that day.
(3) Offers change all the time- Don't let this put you off. There are always new offers to replace the previous ones. There are also Weekly/Daily offers ( Coral £50 free bet, Paddy power refund if 2nd 3rd 4th, William hill money back if second, Paddy Power 2up, Bet clubs etc) which are constantly available when sport is on.
(4) Make Mug bets ( Explained more in PART 3)
(5) It all adds up. Don't think "It's only a £5 free bet, not worth matching". I get around 15 £5 free bets every week, If I ignored them all I would be down £200 at the end of the month.
(6) Don't spend all day at it. Once you've checked your email and reload offers, you know what offers you need to do that day. Set alarms so you can make your matches before each event starts, but don't spend ages sitting at your computer waiting for "the perfect match", for your own mental health, set a time limit of 1 hour per day at most.

PART 3: FAQ
(1) How much money do you need to put in to start?
When you go onto the offers page on Team Profit after signing up, there is an option to start with £25, £50 or £100. You can select one of those three options And it will show you a different number of offers according to your selection. I started with £100 because I wanted to get things moving a little quicker. I did this so that I would have enough money for liability to do a bigger earning offer at the start. One year later, and having see the potential for profit, I keep around £500 floating between my accounts. This is useful for large sporting events where I may want to do around 10- 15 offers in a short time.
(2) Is it in anyway going to impact my credit score?
Using gambling sites doesn't effect your credit score unless you borrow money to fund it. I do all my match betting through a virtual bank (Monzo) in order to keep that stuff out of my main bank on the off chance that it raises any eyebrows. You'll be using Monzo like a cash card, where you can only spend the money you put into the card. This is why it won't affect your credit score, because you wouldn't be taking out an overdraft or using credit for example.
(3) What is Mug Betting?
Mug Betting is where you make bets that have no relation to any offer or promotion in order to appear like a regular punter. If you are doing a lot of offers on one site, it's a good idea to make mug bets in order to avoid being "gubbed" (Gubbed is a term for when bookies realise you are only taking advantadge of promotions and close your account permanantly). Of course you will also Match these "Mug bets" on the exchange. Make 1-2 Mug bets on Each site every week(On the sites you are using a lot for offers and promotions) in order to ensure your accounts last longer than 1-2 years. I have been matching for well over a year and have never been gubbed. Take the extra couple of minutes to Mug bet, it's worth it.
More on Mug betting here

Ok so that's everything I can think of to share with you guys, The link to sign up to your free Team Profit account is at the bottom of Part 1 of this guide.
TLDR: You do not need to "gamble" to match bet, in fact by definition, the bet you make is "matched" on the exchange, so it is not a gamble in any sense.
I really hope this guide will help someone out because It really is a solid way to sort out a months rent for quite a modest amount of work.
Thanks for Reading.

Rolan Garros Men's Singles Round 1 Matchup featuring jaguars & potatos

Another tournament another app to download. Goot-bye US Open app. Another week of typing F into google chrome before realizing the site starts with an R. The French are classy. But who was Roland Garros? Was he, a fictitious dragon who ruled over the Alps and the Bay of Biscay and all that lay in between? Or was he a French aviator and pilot during World War I? Over the next two weeks, we’ll get to the bottom of this. I know which way I’m leaning.
PS that is Querrey in the photo if you're on mobile, not me
Djokovic Ymer : Novak’s biggest win at the French Open is having Thiem and Nadal on the opposite side of the draw. A healthy reward for the #1 player in the world, and one that will mean a very wide open draw and a very enjoyable snackathon while he watches the other semifinal. Novak, or Snack Attack as he’s known to his close friends and family, will be hungies for this one after a very odd day of frustration against Carreño Busta at the US Open led to a disqualification. Novak won the Rome event with relative ease and is as close to a frontrunner as someone other than Nadal can be at this event.
Ymer has been steadily improving but is still at the top of the challenger level when it comes to clay. This won’t be close, but it’s good to see Ymer stringing together a few seasons of appearances in the majors. Djokovic in 3.
Berankas Dellien : Ricardas Berankas may be closer than he appears. After a good hardcourt mini-swing, Berankas has been absent from the clay warmups. He’s never really been the best on clay although he plays a solid baseline game, and this mostly because while he’s consistent, he struggles to hit through the court on slower surfaces. Dellien on the other hand, does his best work on clay. He’s been losing matches you’d expect him to have a better chance in and hasn’t had many bright points leading up to the break. With Djokovic in the next round and Berankis on his worst surface with minimal warmup, this is a must-win for Dellien. He’s struggled to find the finish line but he’ll have ample chances here, and his defending is similar to Munar’s in terms of lockdown baselining Dellien in 4 or he is likely headed off the tour.
Galan Norrie : This is a brilliant opportunity for Daniel. He’s been hinting at a big run on clay and overcoming a lot of the gatekeepers of the challenger tour, but a lot of third set losses have plagued him, and while it’s considered a short stretch of tour, the clay events are deep with talent. Norrie has ventured to the South American swing once or twice, with relatively poor results. He can be a frustrating opponents at his peak, but his backhand doesn’t get through the court well and he’s just a bit inconsistent with results. He’ll still be a favorite here because playing in the spotlight in a major is something that takes time to adjust to, but Galan will make it close and could eke out a win since he’s still a developing player. Galan in 5.
Sandgren Hurkacz : Sandgren hasn’t had a terrible time on the dirt this year, qualifying for events the last two weeks and unfortunately running into guys who are simply better than him. Almost beating Caruso is a great step, and a year ago that would make him a bit of a favorite to beat Hurkacz. Those of us who watched his matches with Rublev and Schwartzman saw a different Hurkacz from the inconsistent but promising server that’s been exhausting bettors while losing after winning the first set time and time again. Hurkacz was hitting very clean and generating winners relatively easily, and while his serve left him late against Diego, playing a returner like that in a long match will do that to you.
Sandgren and Hurkacz will both be hitting a heavy ball here and looking to hold behind big serves, but one of them has had higher level success in the past few weeks, and I think Hubert, or “Hubert”, as he’s known down at the ‘ol library, has the better serve and bigger groundstrokes. Hurkacz in 3-4, and please when you look at Hurkacz picture him wearing glasses and looking up from his wooden table anytime someone coughs across the room.
Garin Kohlschreiber : This is a good start for Garin, whose physical state is somewhat dependent on Tsitspas. A finals appearance on Saturday will make for a tough turnaround, but I don’t think he’ll withdraw from a major, and given Kohl’s loss to a super-hampered Fognini last week a little bit of fatigue won’t be too much of an issue. That being said, Garin’s game is largely dependent on physical effort and being a ball machine. I would say it’s split 95% that, and 5% having elegant hair. Kohlschreiber won’t just disappear and if Garin is a ghost of himself, he’ll lose, but that’ll be a big dip in level in a short period of time, and the fatigue I expect to hurt Garin’s run at the French is more of a 3rd-4th round type of struggle. Garin in 4.
Humbert Polmans : Polmans name backwards is Snamlop, and that’s important because it’s now the second thing you know about his clay game. Polmans wears a hunting cap and plays a very energetic and consistent game. In normal circumstances he’d have a puncher’s chance, and the lucky losers in tour events are classic for pulling a number of upsets (like Bublik this week) but this is not the spot. Humbert played great in Hamburg and lost early enough that he’ll have a few days to travel and get ready for RG. Humbert in 3.
Vesely Broady : These two will be very happy to play each other first round. Vesely has only just started to eke out wins on this clay swing and Broady has just qualified for the first time, beating Polmans and Kuhn along the way. These aren’t the type of wins that suggest he’ll beat Vesely, but Vesely’s struggles are the kind of thing that could see lower-tier players reel him in. I expect Broady’s timing to be a bit better than Vesely’s to start as he’s had a few matches on these courts, but Vesely really is a tour level player at the end of the day, so I believe both players will have some difficulty pulling away here. Someone in 5. The Vesely that lost to Vukic in a challenger loses. The Vesely that played a decent match against Humbert wins.
Majchrzak Khachanov : If you got into a car accident with a basket full of the alphabet, you miiiiiiiiight get this combination of letters. Kamil just won a challenger in Prostejov, beating some quality players and Andujar in the finals. Everyone who knows Andujar knows he was raised with jaguars, and wins two titles in a row every year then disappears. Majchrzak interrupting this is a very brave feat, but also one that means this isn’t the one-way traffic that a Khachanov Majchrzak match normal would be. The problem for Kamil has been distancing himself against mid-tier opponents, and that is exactly what Khachanov big hitting and aggressive serving have done. Karen struggled against Lajovic last week, but that’s a puzzle he hasn’t solved yet, and likely won’t impact his performance here. He’s got a better shot at excelling in the big moments, and outlasting Kamil’s steady play. Khachanov in 4-5.
Baustista Agut Gasquet : This is a sleeper of a great match. The way Gasquet moves around the court in between points is deceptive given how well he covers the court, and his game looks a bit more devoted to flair than it is to hitting winners. Still, his results over the past decade have been brilliant and his serving is sneaky good at times. Zero warmup matches leading into this is the polar opposite of RBA’s commitment to getting in hard yards on the surface, and that’ll be a big edge for RBA. Not his best surface (I’ll stop harping on this eventually), but RBA is playing some good ball and Gasquet is half a question mark heading into this week. Playing at home and not sporting any visual injury means Gasquet won’t just disappear, but I think rust will be a factor. RBA in 4-5.
Uchiyama Balasz : Uchiyama is most famous for being the inspiration for that Nas song, but his second claim to fame is being a helluva tennis player. Many bettors had genuine panic attacks in his first round loss to PCB in last month’s US Open, and having that fresh in their minds could lead them astray here. Attila Balasz is one of the pure clay specialists on tour, and plays a very unique style of tennis. Tons of dropshots, a strangely effective but flailing backhand, and an affinity for hitting forehand winners from 10 feet behind the baseline are on display from him, as well as one of the best kick serves you’ll see. Given Uchiyama got the business from Duckworth last week, this should be a W for Balasz, who can trouble the winner of RBA/Gasquet but likely can’t win. Balasz in 3.
Pella Caruso : Pella has allegedly been diagnosed with Morton’s neuroma, which is an inflamed nerve in the metatarsal region of the foot. I’ve dealt with nerve issues in the metatarsals after breaking a toe recently, and it is the strangest thing. It’s nonstop pain, even when you’re sitting down, but you can still train. Your foot feels like it’s on fire, but you can still walk and you know nothing is wrong. I’m not sure what treatment he’s getting for it, but the stop and start aspect of tennis is going to really preclude him from doing much on tour while this is an issue, and I believe that’s what is leading to his subpar results since the restart.
Caruso on the other hand has become a household name lately, and although he’s done better on hardcourt than clay in the restart, this is a winnable match for him. I’m just not sold on Pella’s physical ability, and Caruso has the power to break down what is normally a rock-solid defense. Caruso in 3. Disclaimer : There’s a big tendency amongst gamblers to jump on lines because they think they have some injury info. Just keep in mind, the information the general public has is always less than what the books have. If anything, a question mark about an injury is a good reason to avoid betting on a match at all.
Millman Carreño Busta : For a while I thought Millman had a knack for drawing guys he’d have a real war with, but it’s just his style. He doesn’t serve aces but he has a decent serve. He doesn’t hit winners but he swings for the fences on the forehand. He doesn’t have much of a backhand but he puts it in play in decent spots. It’s just very difficult for Millman to overwhelm anyone, and very difficult for players to create offense against what he offers. PCB didn’t look great against Nadal, but two weeks of rest will have him in good shape to compete here. I do expect him to make a decent run at this event, and this is a good test to see where his game is at after a huge payday in the USO. PCB is a professional, but I don’t put it past him to struggle to find form/motivation for a while. PCB in 4-5.
Struff Tiafoe : This is the first line I’ll mention. Tiafoe comes in at +170 for this match, which is much closer than I’d set it. Tiafoe isn’t really a productive player on clay, and lost to local hero Musetti in a challenger last week. Struff blew up with a big lead in the third against Khachanov, and lost quickly in Rome as well, but he’s had some great clay results, and I expect him to come through very well here. The Tiafoe we saw at the USO may be a repeat appearance, but this would be the best win of his career on the dirt, so the line (especially after his loss to Musetti) makes me wary. Struff in 4.
Altmaier Lopez : Altmeir is a challenger level player with a big claycourt game. He plays pretty exclusively on the dirt, and while Lopez is a great server, he may take an L here. Altmaier came through qualifying fairly easily, and Lopez is a wildcard for his effort level and service efficiency, but I’d rather back a qualifier in-form than a maybe of an offensive veteran on a slow surface. Altmaier in 4.
Harris Popyrin : This is a nice matchup, as both of these guys wouldn’t be expect to make the 2nd round at RG very often. I’ve been big on Popyrin’s game in the past, but Harris has had the better win in recent times on clay, beating Caruso in two straight. This will largely be decided by serves, and in the interest of honesty, I haven’t watched many of their recent matches. Popyrin was better for a time, but that seems to have flipped. Someone with their hat backwards in 4.
Pospisil Berretini : Oddsmakers have set the games total for this at 32, which given Pospisil’s serve is a bit low. Vasek is by no means a great clay player, and Berretini is going to make quick work of this, but I do think Pospisil will keep him on court for at least two hours. Berretini in 3.
Medvedev Fucsovics : Spooky line for this one, with Medvedev (who regularly comes in at -1000 against solid opponents) only a 4 to 1 favorite here. Fucsovics hasn’t played any clay warmups and although Med lost to Humbert it was a side event and Humbert played lights out tennis. I guess the premise we’re going with here is that Medvedev’s style isn’t great on clay, but I think he’ll have a good event here as he was a bit more impatient than usual against Humbert. Medvedev in 4.
Mannarino Ramos-Vinolas : If you like lefties who’ve been on tour forever and never change their game, this is the match for you. Local robot ARV has had a disappointing start to his clay season, courtesy of an unexplainably good Bublik. He’s the type of player who generally needs a bit more time to work the point, and doesn’t go for clean winners very often. A bit like a more defensive version of Delbonis, ARV will have a good chance here to get a win. Mannarino has potential to make this close because ARV hasn’t been winning and that mental state is sometimes a difficult hurdle. He’ll also be playing at home which has historically been a huge boost for French players. It’ll depend largely on the condition of ARV’s game, but it will be difficult given Mannarino’s controlled game and ARV’s defense for either player to pull away. ARV in 5.
Halys Giron : These guys just aren’t that good, but they’re in a great section of the draw. Halys has been hanging around the challenger tour, but hasn’t made a great deal of impact. Giron has had a more impressive stretch of wins on tour, but none of them have come on clay. The crowd will help Halys, and I think he’s a bit more comfortable on clay, but Giron is the better player at the end of the day. Not a lot to separate these two. Giron in 5.
Querrey Rublev : I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about Querrey. It’s easy to say he’s washed up or he doesn’t care or he’s only good on grass and fast hardcourt. What’s difficult to do though is to remember that he did this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ICHm96chw&ab_channel=TennisWizard
That is all. Rublev might be coming off a title win, and the courts will be slower, but Querrey’s work on this planet is already complete. Rublev in 4. PS an anonymous source has recently informed me that Rublev’s house in Russia is actually structured like a hamster emporium and he wears a cape and refers to himself only as Tubelev. Vetting my source now.
Monteiro Basilashvili : Monteiro is somewhere fancy winning a challenger as we speak. I love this guy’s work ethic and he plays like he’s Nadal’s wild cousin who mountain climbs and just plays tennis when he’s in town. The forehand is big and he’s going against a guy who hasn’t notched a win since he came back to the tour. Commenting on legal issues isn’t great, but Basilashvili is facing some domestic assault charges back in his home country and there’s some notion that this is not great for his mental state. If they were both at their peak Nikoloz wins, but he’s in the doldrums and Monteiro is winning tons of matches. Monteiro in 3.
Lajovic Mager : Another tough draw for Mager. After getting a motivated Dimitrov he goes up against Lajovic who found his chops last week in a major way in Hamburg. Mager can absolutely crush the ball but he needs some times to find these shots, and Lajovic moves his opponents exceptionally well. A few missed opportunities against Tsitsipas have afforded Lajovic a few days of rest, and he should be good to roll through this one. Lajovic in 3-4.
Djere Anderson : This one of my favorite matchups in the first round. Djere is a great claycourter and plays harder than most when he gets in a rhythm, but he’s been struggling to win matches lately. Anderson’s return from injury has been similar to Nishikori’s as far as results, but not style. Nishikori has struggled to keep the ball in the court. Anderson seems to be able to play his normal game in stretches, but is hesitant to do so. It’s like watching a baby deer test it’s legs out. In a 2/3 format I think Anderson might sprint away, but here I like Djere to make this match physical and beat Anderson, who’ll be happy to go into the indoor season where things are a bit easier on the ol deer bits. Djere in 4-5.
Mayot Davidovich Fokina : Mayot is not the worst, but he’s not the best. Rublev vs Fokina is probably the best 2nd round we’re going to see in this event, and barring injury we’ll get a look at it. Fokina’s loss against Lajovic looked bad since Dusan was slumping, but looking at his form the next few rounds it makes sense. It’s like playing Paire on a day where he makes no errors and serves 16 aces. You come off the court like wait, where’s christmas? ADF in 3.
Shapovalov Simon : Shap had some clay wins that he hasn’t in the past. It’s nice to see the slower surface giving him time to really craft some winners. There aren’t many holes in his game, and he seems to only struggle once opponents settle onto his patterns since he tries to hit through the court on so many shots. When you see the guy shifting to where you’re going there’s a tendency to try to add some juice. Simon’s physical struggles aren’t public, but there’s something off about him. Age/fatigue/injury. I don’t know. The backhand is still beautiful and he’s still a great player, but he just can’t win lately, and this is the wrong opponent to be moving poorly against. Shap in 3. PS if you haven’t seen Shap’s rap video yet don’t see it. It’s not to be seen, like a rare butterfly or a peanut butter jelly sandwich your child hid in their closet for some reason 4 years ago.
Johnson Carballes Baena : Another match I feel good about. RCB is the RBA of ARV. His ability to push the pace without really hitting for winners is a quality the best claycourters all possess. Johnson can play some clay, but usually only in the USA event that consists of hardcourt players playing each other. This will be somewhat close as Johnson is decent on serve and RCB retired from his last match. The appeal of a big check at a major is such that people will make the trip even if they’re not at their best, and this one is RCB’s if he’s healthy, but Johnson’s if he isn’t. No way to pick, but I’m pulling for RCB, as he’ll be the better round 2 against Shap.
Martin Sousa : The hits keep coming. Sousa simply can’t win a match. He doesn’t seem to be playing terribly, just dealing with a huge slump. Martin will know how that feels, as he’s been taking first round losses when he finally makes his way into main tour events for a while. That changed at the start of this year though, and Martin has been a difficult out on clay in recent months. That likely will give him an edge here, and the confidence being based in results rather than in coaches puffery is likely to keep him pushing where Sousa will have doubts creeping in. Martin in 5.
Barrere Dimitrov : Barrere looked like he’d be making a big impact on tour this year before the break. There are some winners and some losers in any sporting revolution, and halting his progress seems to put him in the loser category. Draws are important, and while the solid hitter could have a chance against the new Kanye, this seems to be the old Kanye. Dimitrov tried exceptionally hard to beat Shapovalov in their Rome test, and it was good to see him playing well against even if the overarching idea is that the pinnacle of the tour has kinda passed him by. Dimitrov in 4-5.
Krajinovic Milojevic : Tough pull for Milojevic, who plays excellent dirt and worked very hard to qualify, notching wins against Leo Mayer and Yannick Maden. Kraj is pretty solid on clay and playing his best tennis the past few weeks. He’ll have to work hard to put Milojevic away, but he should do so. Krajinovic in 4.
Bedene Rinderknech : Strasbourg is in France, and Rinderknech is French. I like it. The 25 year old has been doing excellent recently on clay, and it’s nice to see him get a wildcard. Bedene isn’t the type of player who’s unbeatable, and Rinder’s win against Marc-Andrea Huesler (who should be in this event) shows he’s able to compete at tour level. The “home crowd” issue is probably getting annoying to read about now, but there’s some real comfort zone issues with the French players that lets them play comfortably there. Bedene is still a step above, but this could be close. Bedene in 5.
Laaksonen Cuevas : Henri never blinked in the qualifying, and this is a guy who does way more with way less. He trains his fitness at least as hard as anyone on tour, and while his game is pretty one-dimensional, he gets a lot out of it. He reminds me a bit of a local club champion who plays a tour pro and doesn’t just fold up and hope for their adulation. The serve is big and that’s the main weapon, and he’ll need it against Cuevas. Cuevas doesn’t give up much in the way of rallies and uses his variety to expose his opponents. Laaksonen won’t get tired, but he will have difficult ending baseline rallies, and his somewhat predictable approach is something that Cuevas is well suited to defend against. Cuevas in 4.
Munar Tsitsipas : This is a sleeper for an upset, especially with Tsitsipas playing for a title tomorrow. Munar hasn’t shown the type of world-beating dominance I expected him to on clay, because frankly he is a bit small for the tour, but he has a Nadal-level (RIP my inbox) effort on the court. He is rock-solid from the baseline and has a great attitude. Some injuries have hampered his development but even with Tsitsipas playing his best tennis this won’t be a walkover. The huge edge in serving for Tsitsipas means it’ll be tough for Munar to really apply pressure, but I think it’ll be a similar affair as his match with Garin where he seems in control until he begins making errors. Tsitsipas is still prone to shanking random rally balls and returning poorly. After talking up Munar’s chances I still think Tsitsipas may win in straight sets, but it’s one of those matches where I’d never give the spread. Tsitsipas in 3 difficult sets. PS Munar, or Lil Buttons as he’s known in the tennis rap community, buttons all the buttons on his shirt and that’s cute.
Monfils Bublik : Tough draw for both. Monfils has looked half motivated, as if he wants to play but can’t bring himself to until the pressure’s off or it would be an amazing comeback. It’s time to stop looking at these moments as a slump as this is pretty much how he has spent his whole career. When conditions are perfect, he thrives. These are outliers though, not his real level. Bublik won a bunch of sets of tennis this past week and had his chances against Garin. My initial thought looking at this match was that the games total of 35 seemed low. Bublik is likely to hold serve moderately well, and Monfils is likely to get drawn into the skill contest that Bublik represents with his dropshots/serve and volleys/underhand serves. I think this has potential to be the most entertaining match, and while Bublik is looking very good, Monfils has a lot of time here to play himself into a mental state where he can fight. Monfils in 5.
Gomez Sonego : Gomez and Sonego will both like their chances here. Sonego’s been losing, but to quality opponents like FAA and Ruud. Gomez qualified and got a nice article written about him, but his game has been legit and he’s been right around tour level for 2-3 seasons now. Gomez actually beat Seyboth Wild in the qualifiers, which is a huge win. Sonego really hasn’t won many matches, and that’ll be in his head a bit against a qualifier who is hungry to prove himself. Gomez in 5.
Thompson Albot : Our boy Radu hasn’t really been winning much since the tour’s return, which I think puts an asterisk next to the entire sport. It’s bad form for Radu not to get wins, and I believe that’s what Pospisil’s union is mainly focused on. Thompson was awfully disappointing against Coric in the USO, and is pretty bad on clay, but this again is a nice section of the draw with Fritz waiting in round two (I say that now but by the next paragraph I’ll convince myself he’s going to lose). Thompson in 4.
Machac Fritz : Is it legal to cheer? Machac’s recent results don’t say he can beat a player like Fritz, but he has beaten some players who can beat some players who can beat a player like Fritz. Fritz did well against Travaglia, and likely has the edge here. Some home-cooking for the 19 year old will be a factor if he manages to grab a set, but he’ll have to get there on his own and Fritz’ hitting may be a big factor in this one. Fritz in 3-4 but I’ll be crossin my fingas.
Coric Gombos : I see some people on twitter disrespecting my man Gombos. I’m lying, I don’t go near twitter, and only made an account so I can post a portrait of myself. You can view it here :
https://twitter.com/blurryturtle/header_photo
Gombos probably can’t win this, but he is the Gombosiest. Coric in fouric.
Rodionov Chardy : Is Chardy really tryna play tennis anymore? It seems like he’d have been making a retirement announcement this year but the pandemic ruined it. Rodionov did great in the qualifiers and winning is a habit. Chardy has the skill and serving to outclass Rodionov but he just hasn’t been doing the work lately. The upset is somewhat likely in my mind. Rodionov in 4-5.
Moutet Giustino : Local rapgod Corentin Moutet is a tiny little nugget of a player, who plays a big big game. Both have been winning matches lately, and this will be a tight contest. If this gets deep, I like Moutet as his experience winning 5-set matches is a big factor and his game is better after some miles are on both opponents since he thrives on his speed but plays a bit too far behind the baseline. Giustino in 4 or Moutet in 5.
Kecmanovic Schwartzman : We all know Kecmanovic is a great baseliner. He’s one of the tours more competent pushers, but Diego is just a better version of him. Diego was at his best in Rome, and I expect a good run here. Schwartzman in fourtzman.
I feel like there are more matches than usual. Also always nice when they don’t release the qualifier matchups until the day before the tournament. Thus ends my gripes.
Wawrinka Murray : Is it okay if I think they’ll both lose? Wawrinka played one of the funnier challenger events, losing the first set in almost every single round then winning the match and the title. Murray has hinted at the old Murray at times, but fans have grown a bit sadpants when watching him struggle with mid-level tour players. Murray hasn’t played, and Wawrinka looks like he hasn’t wanted to. The edge here goes to Wawrinka, but I expect a great contest as Murray has no quit in him and Stan has shown a prolific ability to find struggle where there is none. Wawrinka in 5.
Koepfer Hoang : Tough wildcard draw for Hoang, though a year ago he’d have been ecstatic. Hoang’s been winning locally, and I wouldn’t sleep on him here. He has a great serve, a big backhand, and is still developing. Home court advantage adds another wrinkle, but Koepfer will likely be physically recovered from his runs in Rome/Hamburg, and he really showed he can elevate his game and cover the court remarkably during that period. Koepfer in 4, and hopefully he’ll be the wakeup call Wawrinka needs in round 2.
Gaston Janvier : Two wildcards playing each other. Good for them. Probably Gaston in 4 (he has the much cooler name/hits a bit bigger)
Nishioka Auger-Alliassime : This one is interesting given FAA’s struggle to find his serving last week. Squishioka can be very frustrating in rallies, but he just hasn’t been able to win matches on clay. Clay is more of a big hitters surface, even though it’s slow. The work ethic is there, but not the offense. A disaster of a day for FAA if he loses this one; I don’t rule it out but it’s unlikely, and Bublik was in great form which explains half the loss. FAA in 3-4.
Ruud Sugita : Ruud has been excellent for years, and now he is looking like a real threat against anyone outside the top ten, and a big hurdle for those inside it. Sugita is a nice guy, but Ruud in 3.
Paul Duckworth : Tommy Paul’s best surface is clay? He really has shown an ability to perform and Duckworth just enjoyed a zipping in his last outing. One way trafffic, and Paul/Ruud in the second round is a great matchup. Paul in 3.
Opelka Sock : Say no to Jack Sock. It is addictive when this half boy/half potato starts winning matches. I think it continues here. Opelka has played no warmups, and moving on clay for such a tall fellow is really tough. He’ll have a tough time hanging with Sock’s pace, and the easier opponent (defensively) is likely to make Sock really focus on hitting to the open court. Sock in 4.
Honestly you’d tell me if there’s extra matches right? I feel like some guys are playing twice.
Cilic Thiem : Cilic is going to be sick of Thiem by the end of this one, but as a fan this is the perfect early round for Thiem. After playing no warmup matches the concern is rust, and so I’m excited to see Thiem have a match where he has to work right away. Typing that makes me a bit scared, as Cilic has played some ok tennis in the warmup, beating Goffin 2, 2. Still, this sub’s affinity for Thiem’s tumbly bum won’t let him lose in the first round, and as he gets going I think we’ll see him kinda shape into a threat for the title. Thiem in 4.
Zverev Novak : Novak isn’t great on clay. Trouble is, neither is Zverev. After a major finals, I don’t picture a guy like Zverev coming in with a smaller ego. I think there will be some harrowing moments in this, and if Herbert plays well in round one I like him to take at least two sets off Zverev. Zverev in 4-5, and I’m interested to see if he’s on the “slow start gradual turnup” path again, as that’s a terrible plan on clay for a guy who’s prone to frustration.
Mmoh Herbert : Mmoh did well to qualify, besting Renzo Olivo. Add in that Hyeon Chung was in their draw, and you really have a lack of offense in that section. Herbert has been bad recently, losing to a number of players he’d normally beat. His game depends largely on his serving, and while he’s one of the best players at net outside the big 3 (I’d put him first/Sock second) he needs to get there to be effective. Mmoh is a defensive test, but Herbert likely won’t want to get dragged into extended rallies, so this will look a bit like a low-rent version of Garin vs Bublik. I think Herbert at home gets the job done, but it may take some patches of trial and error to crack Mmoh’s defense. Herbert in 4-5.
Delbonis Londero : I was initially excited to back Londero a bunch after his USO run, as I know his best surface is clay. This is his second match against his countryman though, and it is a poor matchup for him as Delbonis has been playing decent. Delbonis his big and segments the game nicely, so the pace of the ball is fast, but the progression of rallies is slow. I don’t expect Londero to lose in straight sets, but it’s hard to back him after losing to Delbonis a few weeks ago. Delbonis in 4-5, but for betting porpoises I’d recommend avoiding this altogether.
Cecchinato De Minaur : Hehe. Finally stringing wins together, Cecchinato’s reward is a maindraw against a guy who is a nightmare matchup. Cecchinato plays a classic claycourt game. Big power and deft dropshots. He needs time to produce the first of those, and De Minaur takes that away. The dropshots are cute, but De Minaur covers the net better than most on tour. He lost to Koepfer in his only warmup on clay, and Cecchinato has won a bunch of matches recently, but this is a fairly even matchup. Both are excellent frontrunners, and I think the first few sets will be very competitive. Hard to pick against De Minaur in a long contest early in the event, and Cecchinato’s defense will likely be an issue if ADM is serving well. De Minaur in 4.
Paire Kwon : Paire still avoiding multiple matches, which is an excellent strategy for his longevity as a pro athlete. He basically could lose to anyone at this point, and his retirement in Hamburg appeared to be “I’m tired”. This is a bad sign, and worse still, Kwon is not a player who’ll beat him quick or represent a dominant opponent he can just tank against. This is one I’d advise listening to rather than watching, as Paire’s outbursts will be better than his play. I’m somewhat expecting Kwon to win, although this is similar to Nishioka/FAA where the more stable player lacks the weapons to just win in dominant fashion. Kwon via retirement.
Coria Jung : Coria is a wall. Jung is not a wall. Why not be a wall? Coria in 4.
Bonzi Ruusuvuori : Bonzi beat Karlovic which makes me sad, but I’m happy to see the challenger journeyman get a shot in a grandslam. Ruusuvuori is slowly becoming a household name, and his clay game isn’t adept but it’s a notch better than Bonzi. Fatigue may be a factor here not in hampering Bonzi’s game, but in Ruusuuvuori’s being more crisp. Ruu-uuu-u—- in 4.
Sinner Goffin : One of the sketchier first round matchups, what with wildcards playing each other and Coria and Jung going at it. This happens though, and it’s our gift to watch it. Sinner is one of the more promising prospects on the tour in a long time, and with the next gen guys finally starting to come through with big results and solid play, seeing a guy who seems more mentally stable than they were early on in their career is even better. Goffin losing quickly to Cilic isn’t a great sign, and he’s always a threat to go elfmode and stifle his opponents ability to play offense, but I think Jannik’s serving will give him a small edge here. Sinner in 4.
Fognini Kukushkin : Fognini had ankle surgeries, or else his recent string of poor performances and losses would be his normal string of poor performances and losses. He doesn’t seem willing to press himself yet, and this is another Paire/Kwon style matchup. Kukushkin will take any victory he gets a look at, but isn’t going to overwhelm his opponent. Fognini’s impatiance against Ruud did include a number of shots that missed by very little, and on the slower courts in Paris he may land a greater percentage of these. I expect Fognini to play a bit better, and this will be about optics. If Fognini feels like he looks bad or is in a spot where him trying would risk his ego, he’ll fold, and Kukushkin will win. This is sad to say about a professional athlete, but Fognini has the ankle situation to fall back on, so if he can’t win,he’ll just swing for the fences and inspect his racquet until it’s over. He’s very pretty tho. Kukushkin in 4, hopefully.
Martinez Vukic : Martinez was the best in the qualifying, and Vukic was in the qualifying. Martinez in 3.
Korda Seppi : Korda is becoming a sleeper pick on tour, and Seppi is notoriously at his worst on clay since he hits such a flat ball. I think this will stretch deep, and I am tempted to give the edge to Korda given Seppi’s recent loss to Klahn and Musetti and Korda’s win against Karatsev, who has been one of the best players in the past month on clay on the challenger tour. Korda in 4.
Benchetrit Isner : Benchetrit can make this close since it’s on clay, but Isner should be able to get into tiebreakers, which makes predicting this almost as annoying as Isner bouncing the ball between his legs. The dude’s a muppet. Someone in 4 tiebreakers.
Evans Nishikori : Evans hasn’t been great, and Nishikori has been worse. Nishikori has looked like he was gaining control of rallies and immediately making errors for a few weeks now, and it’s frustrating to predict his matches because there’s that sense that he will find form at some point. Evans likely gets the W here but it will take a lot of work. Evans in 4-5.
Andujar Travaglia : “BEGONE,” commanded Andujar. I stood there speechless. “YOU ARE AN ILLUSION!” he bellowed, waking several colorful parrots who sat atop his head. I was not there. What he saw was only his vision of me, which had come to him in a dream commanded by the vines and souls of tropical frogs. Confident that I had gone, he hopped off his perch on the mountain peak, and began descending. Not in the usual way via legs and feet, but on the breeze of a thousand moths, while nearby shamans began making a thousand broths. Andujar is back, and I hate this matchup. Travaglia was brilliant on serve leading up to RG, and Andujar was a breath of fresh air on the challenger tour, notching win after win after win and rarely dropping a set. This is one I expect to go deep, as both players are at their best. Who will win? A man does not summon the future, lest it become the present. Shamans in 3.
Diez McDonald : idc
Gerasimov Nadal : So we all know what will happen if I suggest Nadal will struggle in a match. Luckily, I won’t have to here. Gerasimov’s movement isn’t good enough to trouble many players on clay, and Nadal is probably the most dominant single-surface player that tennis has ever seen. He looked pretty human last week against Diego, and his muscles were muscley, but not as muscley as usual. Where is his massive crab-arm? The winner of Travaglia/Andujar will be his first real test. Nadal in 2 somehow.
PS User Kuklachert runs a very fun picking contest if you're interested in discord ... check it out here https://www.reddit.com/tennis/comments/izhabroland_garros_tipping_competition/

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure OC Tournament #5: Round 2 Match 2 - Maxwell Tenet VS Ace High!

The results are in for Match 1.
The match had proven to be very aerial, both performers very quickly finding ways to fulfill the letter of the ‘try and stay on the ropes’ directive Conqueror Worm had left for them while literally and figuratively flying in the face of its spirit. Alexis Williams needed to very frequently replenish her balloon armor as she bounced around, opportunities to actually get as close to Wrenn Aflight as she’d needed to being very difficult to come by.
Though with her Stand acting as it was, perhaps she didn’t mind such a thing. There was something about the quiet resolve of Kingdom of Desire, even as it wore a certain familiar ring, that was making her almost afraid of what this extension of herself, her traumas, her memories of her, might do. In the meantime, this guy who had agreed to be her opponent had been trying to sing, hiding his pain and his vitriol under his own sort of strong face and performing for the crowd. A tornado of dust had begun to engulf the arena, courtesy of his efforts, and the Vegas-veteran knew a dramatic, flaming ring when she saw one.
As it was, a swing and a near miss had placed her positionally several meters underneath the performer, her own form having been harmed on occasion by the influx of particulate-based chip damage, sweating from the mounting heat in the room, and unable to see many of the balloons she’d left in the fog of smoke as the performer covered the arena; she could barely see the walls, or the windows, let alone any of those.
Alexis needed to put literally everything she had into one final balloon dash. If she could close the distance between herself and Wrenn, she could certainly end this match in close quarters, and if he closed that cyclone of his in on her before she could get out of it, she would be burned badly by the glowing singer.
It was a quick-draw, then.
“Hmm?” Wrenn seemed to register something, his eyes facing her yet not seeming to be focusing on her at all - had something she’d set up earned the attention of that eye-dust he’d scattered about?
Already, the burning dust storm was starting to lower, extremely slowly and not seeming to constrict yet to Alexis’ surprise. Hell, she could even see the balloons she’d left nearby the windows now in one of the points she’d flown towards them, tried to catch Wrenn offguard. Why was he drawing it out when he’d seen what she could do? Why would he waste time on that? This place could catch alight!
“Hey!” The boy clinging to his umbrella above her called down. “These people want their finale! You’re on the same stage as me, so make it grand!”
That was all Alexis needed to hear, even bringing a smile to her face where she was expecting misery. Willing blast after blast of the amassed balloons, she sent all that she could utterly flying.
The tinted windows, which had started off so durable, had not only already begun to crack, but melt under the intense heat, and the balloons close to them blew them open on all sides, filling the previously quieter air with the shocked swears and calls for security of their small audience.
“Wrenn, you changed your mind?!” She wanted to cry for a different reason, but knew now wasn’t the time. That move would likely have only startled them, with holes in the glass of that size (a move by design for Alexis), so the pair would need to think fast in order to avoid being put down for this.
“You’ve been my LEAST favorite kind of audience!” He called eagerly, the flaming cyclone rising again and quickly funneling through the various windows, its burning intensity turned away from Alexis and towards the occupants of each of the viewing boxes. “If you’re putting people in shows like these, then *you have this coming!”***
The screams of the few watchers intensified.
With players’ scores matching at 69 (Nice), you could say the real winner was teamwork… Probably.

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	Judecca Highrollers	10-19	With a three-vote lead, once again, popularity resolved in a way where the thirtieth point is burned away by a spinning cyclone and balloon blast after blast.
Quality	Masters of Funky Action	22-21	Reasoning
JoJolity	Masters of Funky Action	27-19	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10

“C’mon, Alexis, don’t choke now! Get us out of here, that guy probably protected himself, and Worm guy definitely has!”
Truthfully, Wrenn had meant to finish her off as the show demanded, secure his own safety, but when his eye-dust had noticed the window-damage, seen that past its cracks there were Fox and the other watchers on all sides, and from there little stairways up into the abandoned stations above and from there, up to the city.
For now, trying not to flinch from the sights of people in pain, he used his spread-out eye-property dust to look into all four sides he could leave from, trying to quickly assess all information. In one room, Conqueror Worm stood, looking extremely amused at this turn of events and doing little to help those trying to get to safety before hopping up into the ceiling and vanishing.
In the second, easily the most burning avenue of escape, a strange fellow in a maroon turban and face coverings stood right by the edge of the destroyed window, not at all minding the flames even as they caught the outfit alike, beginning to lift it up to remove with unsettling fearlessness; the only thing Wrenn saw as flames overtook the area and made its ceiling collapse was this figure grinning widely at him, accentuating a jagged-looking scar along the revealed lower half of their face.
The third side, he could see Fox quickly transform a rock sculpture of an annoying-looking dog into a makeshift shield, protecting himself, that golden-suited Tigran Sins guy, and a shocked looking Metra Doria from the initial, less lethal glass blasts as if he’d seen the flames coming, the structure seeming highly heat resistant and similar in makeup to the balloon armor as it hurried away.
The fourth was mostly just filled with screaming guys, and the stairs still looked accessible.
“Holy hell, are you crazy? Look, uh… Don’t worry about me!” The voice of Metra amplified and pleaded, resonating loudly and clearly in the heads of both fighters, even through the crackling and pain. “I’ll be fine, just… Just escape! I agreed to this because I wanted to ensure you three would survive!”
Well, that settled the guilt on that dilemma. Wrenn quickly pointed to the safest bet. “Blast us that way before we burn up and die! You can’t get cold feet in a place like this!”
Alexis was taken aback, but KoD knew not to let them die for this. Quickly, audible pops! blasted the replenished flying gymnast up towards the singer, right as his umbrella caught alight and he began to fall. He dropped into Alexis’ grasp, and from there in seconds flat they were up and blasting through the direction Wrenn had pointed out, landing safely in the stairways and very quickly making their ways up.
“What… What the hell did you need to go that far for?” Alexis asked, still rattled as the pair caught their breaths.
“Sorry for-” Wrenn coughed a lot, then spoke in a less affected tone. “Sorry for doing what you asked, and trusting you in the end! ‘Put our minds together,’ ‘don’t get caught off-guard,’ ‘get out of here…’” He looked away towards the sound of approaching sirens, voice sounding even heavier, as if a massive weight were on his lithe shoulders. “What did you think that would mean?”
Alexis’ lip trembled, and she hugged herself, finding her stand’s arms around her doing the same thing after a moment. She couldn’t rebut. This was Wrenn trusting in her, wanting her help in escaping these death games, but to do that..! To leave people in such a state, and that the worst perpetrators clearly survived anyway, and that Metra was still stuck with that guy..!
“They’re not going to chase us like this,” he continued, as much trying to convince himself not to break down as he put on his hardest ‘strong face,’ different from that which Alexis had seen before. “So many of those guys probably killed people like us, innocents, too… This is a blow to a whole crime ring.”
Not far from the site of the fire, authorities would find remains of a John Doe later identified as local entertainment industry manager Thutmose. Despite the incident earlier that day, authorities deemed it extremely unlikely these events were connected.
The final toll of the fires were seven dead, three missing, fifteen in critical condition, all of whom accounted for a majority of the audience of the match. Though many suspected members of Sound’s Garden’s criminal underground were lost to the flames, with many other regulars having tuned in through dark web streaming, operations on the blood sports were able to continue.
What a first match to open up the round on! Obviously, results are already in, so there won’t be results announced with M3 going up, but at this point, until the very tail-end of the round the typical posting schedule should be in full swing.
Scenario:
A scrapyard on the northwestern edge of Los Fortuna’s slums, 7:46 PM
Ace High was getting tired of having to move around so much, and for this long. Tailing this “Modern Holiday” man was starting to get on his nerves - despite being a detective, he preferred to deal with these kinds of situations in more direct ways, and passing through desolate streets and heaps of junk didn’t exactly fit his definition of “a good time”, even if his stand helped streamline the process a bit.
He’d been following Holiday at the request of Vitus Calamai, a man who SKADE had worked alongside before in an attempt to get in the good graces of ODIN. Furthermore, he’d already done the same to Holiday’s coworker, a woman by the name of Peres Straviat. Unlike before, however, Ace was alone - Kisa had opted to investigate his own leads, leaving the Sharp Lookers behind, and every other member of the team was occupied with their own tasks.
It seemed as if Holiday had something in mind that he wanted to do in the slums, as he’d supposedly been wandering around the area quite a bit recently, for some reason that neither Ace nor Vitus were aware of. However, Ace did hear that Holiday had some history with a few shady gangs and groups in the area, and considering the man’s track record, it was clear that an investigation was warranted.
As the man moved along, and entered a decrepit scrapyard by the edge of the district, Ace began to notice it - a burning stench that pervaded through the massive scrapyard, and a billowing cloud of smoke rising in the distance. The visibility wasn’t very good - smog filled the air, making it harder to discern what he was actually looking at. Furthermore, his vision was already occupied by the massive mounds of scrap around him, and couldn’t make out much of the area due to needing to remain hidden from Holiday.
Holiday’s path seemed to lead him closer and closer to the source of the smoke, and eventually, he seemed to stop and began looking around. He’d almost spotted Ace, who’d just barely dived behind a pile of scrap in time before Holiday spotted him. He could just barely overhear Holiday saying something, though he couldn’t make out exactly what it was. He had to get closer in order to get within earshot of him.
Moving forwards and peeking up from underneath the pile of scrap, Ace could see it - Holiday and a brown haired man wearing a red leather jacket, standing on the edge of a large crater, from which the smoke seemed to be emerging. Ace raised his head up further, getting a better look of what exactly was within the crater, and spotting the source of the smoke - multiple fires seemed to be burning from within, and some sort of figure stood from within, facing in the pair’s direction. Was that a stand?
Before he could think further about what exactly that was, Ace heard a rustling from behind him. Quickly turning around, he saw it - a stand, rising from the smog behind him, reaching out towards him.“Shit!” Ace quickly began scrambling backwards, up the pile of scrap. “Gangster’s-” Before Ace could finish calling for his Gangster’s Paradise to help him, the mysterious stand firmly grabbed his leg and pulled him back into its reach, and Ace lost consciousness.
An alley on the south side of Los Fortuna’s slums, the day prior to Ace’s investigation, 8:32 PM
Maxwell “Ten-Ten” Tenet sat on the ground, back against a graffiti-filled wall, breathing heavily while clutching his side. Bruises and cuts peppered his body, small droplets of blood falling onto the dirty floor beneath him. He wasn’t in the best shape. Still, the passed out body of the man by him was clearly far worse off than Max himself was.
“...heh. Who'd've thought that mugger would be a stand user as well?” Max idly mused to himself. This wasn’t the first time it had happened, and it probably wasn’t going to be the last. “Well, whatever. Just gotta hope this place calms down eventually...” With a pained grunt, he slowly got up.
He was just on his way over to the Elephant Bones, wanting to surprise London with a visit, when he got sidetracked after hearing the faint noises of some sort of altercation happening far away from him. Quickly checking it out, he quickly realized that it was a mugging, and stepped into the scene to stop it without hesitation. Things quickly spiraled out of control when the mugger tried to fight back against Max with his own stand, but the outcome was inevitable from the very beginning - Max came out on top, albeit having sustained a few wounds here and there.
Beginning to make his way out of the alley, Max sighed. The slums weren’t very peaceful during the best of times, but recently, these kinds of things seemed to have been happening more and more in there. He knew why as well - with the incarceration of “The Gambler”, things were somewhat of a mess for many of the residents of the slums. He didn’t live there himself, but his boyfriend did, and Max came over and patrolled them often enough that he couldn’t help but notice it.
“Sucks, doesn’t it?” Max was taken aback, hearing an unfamiliar voice come from behind him. Turning, he took a look at the person in front of him - a man with a young-looking face, blonde hair, and a wide grin on his face. “It’s just like six years ago, huh? Total chaos. Try as they might, I guess the Temple of Syrinx and the Bakkers aren’t doing a very good job keeping the criminals in check, haha! And just when it seemed like things were improving for the slums!” Despite the man’s dour words, his tone of voice was upbeat and casual.
“And who’re you?” Max tilted his head, curious about who exactly the odd man was. “Oh, I guess I forgot to introduce myself, haha! The name’s Modern Holiday, but you can just call me ‘Holiday’!”
“Holiday..? Hm..” The name sounded familiar to Max. “What’re you here for, Holiday?”
Holiday seemed to pause for a bit, his smile briefly fading away before he took a deep breath and began speaking. “Well, I’m glad you asked! Actually, I’m here because-” “Oh! I remember! London mentioned that one of his coworkers met someone called ‘Holiday’! Her name was Glitch, d’you know her?” Though he was slightly taken aback, Holiday seemed to lighten up at the mention of Glitch. “Oh, Glitch! Yeah, I know her! She’s a fun person, haha! She makes good food!”
“Anyways… The reason I’m here because I need your help! Or rather, I suppose I’ve got something in mind that I think you’d want to help me out with, since you seem to be the crime fighting type! Well, you aren’t really going to be fighting ‘crime’, but... well… uh...” Holiday stumbled over his own words, unsure of how to to word what he was going to say.
“Hey, just tell me what you want and we’ll see if I can help, yeah?” Max said nonchalantly. “Yeah, you’re right… Sheesh, this isn’t like me...” Holiday said with a sigh. “Well… I want you to kill a stand.”
“A stand?” Max’s raised a brow, a slight frown finding its way onto his face. “So... wouldn’t that mean killing the user as well? If that’s what you’re asking, then I’m not interested.” If that was what this ‘Holiday’ really wanted, then this was just a waste of time.
“Wh- no, no! God no, that’s… Yeah, no, I won’t- that’s not what I’m asking!” Holiday said loudly. “This stand’s user… well, she’s…” Holiday sighed and looked down, scratching his head. “She’s already dead. Has been for a while. It’s just… her stand isn’t dead. It’s still out there.”
Oh. “It didn’t disappear after she died?”
“Yeah… Los Fortuna has a weird effect on stands like that sometimes. The stand, Gasoline Family, just… stayed. Ever since then, it’s been mindlessly rampaging around the spot of her death, attacking anyone that gets nearby and making a mess. They say stands are manifestations of our ‘fighting spirit’ or our ‘souls’ or something like that, yeah? Knowing that, and seeing the only remnant of her act like that, it’s not a very nice sight to look at. No one’s really done anything about it until now since it’s so far out of the way of most people, but I want to… to free what remains of her, you know? If that makes sense. I don’t think she’d have wanted this to be what remained of her. And at the very least, I don’t want any unprepared person who goes there to find themselves killed by it.”
There was a moment of silence as Max took in Holiday’s words. “Did you know her? Gasoline Family’s user, I mean.” Max asked, his voice more quiet than before. In response, Holiday chuckled. “Yeah, I guess that was pretty obvious, huh? You could say we were friends back then.” A far cry from his previous demeanor, Holiday was somber. It made sense, considering the subject matter at hand, but it was an odd sight nonetheless.
“My stand, Sleep Apnea, can help protect you in the fight against Gasoline Family, but it’s not really suited for direct combat. I can’t do this without your help. I saw you fight that mugger - your stand is strong.”
Max thought back to his own past friendships and relationships, then to the people he knew in Los Fortuna. Were a similar situation to happen to someone he knew, he’d… he didn’t want to think much about that. “Well, sure. I’ll help you out.” Max said with a smile, to which Holiday responded with a slight grin as well. “... Yeah. Thank you.”
“So - when are we doing this, and what can this ‘Gasoline Family’ even do?”
Back in the scrapyard, 7:55 PM
The first thing Ace noticed when he woke up was the splitting headache he had, and that he was lying on the ground. The second thing he noticed was the pissed-off face of Modern Holiday, staring right at him. He quickly turned away, looking at his surroundings. He’d been dragged closer to the decrepit, smoke-filled crater, and was right by its edge.
Despite his best efforts, he’d gotten caught, somehow. Was the stand that attacked him Holiday’s? It just popped out of the smog behind him, and the moment it grabbed Ace, he passed out. Did it activate its ability on him? Other than the headache, he felt normal, for the most part. Slightly cold, which was weird, considering how close he was to the fires.
“So, you’re awake. Care to explain why exactly you were following me?” Holiday said with a scowl. Ace wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. There was silence for a few seconds, where nothing but the crackling of the fires within the crater could be heard as Ace thought to himself about his next move. From what he’d heard, Holiday was quite a sociable person, and one who was liable to slip up every once in a while, occasionally revealing some useful and sensitive information. Then again, Vitus also said that he was pretty good at catching on to others’ motives and giving people the slip when he didn’t want to converse with them, so it would be tricky, but if Ace could gather some information from Holiday, then that’d be very good.
Of course, Holiday did seem pretty pissed right now, which was somewhat understandable considering that Ace had been tailing him for quite a while. “Well, you know… I was curious about what you were up to, yeah? Walking around the slums so much, almost makes me think you’ve got something in mind~”
“And what if I do? I’m- Ugh. Look. I know that you’re with SKADE, and that Vitus probably put you up to this. This isn’t related to the Ocean Soul, and it isn’t anything that you should be concerned about or that you need to snoop around for.” Seemed like Holiday wasn’t really in the mood for a conversation, like he was on edge for some reason.
Even if what Holiday said was true, Ace’s own curiosity had been piqued at this point, and furthermore, he needed more information. “Well, I’m still quite curious - what’s it about, then?”
“You want to know? Fine. Get up.” Holiday turned away from Ace and pointed down at something within the crater. Ace took a closer look at it. Within it, he saw piles of scrap and debris tossed about haphazardly, a few of them the sources of raging fires, emitting pillars of smoke into the air.
By the border of the crater was the man that Holiday talked to before, and within it was what seemed to be a stand of some kind, the same figure that he’d seen there before. “You see that figure over there? That’s Gasoline Family, a stand. Its user is already dead, but it’s stayed here for a couple of years by now, making a mess of the area and attacking anyone that gets close enough. I’m getting help from someone in order to destroy it. Not a fan of seeing the only thing that remains from an old friend of mine do… this.” Holiday said, waving his hands to direct Ace’s attention to the chaos within the crater.
“A stand, huh? I see… What’s it do? Something related to fire, I assume.” So that was the reason for the disarray of the area here. “Actually, know what - how about I help you out with this ‘Gasoline Family’? As compensation for tailing you, yeah?” Ace said, grinning.
“Hm? You want to help?” Holiday said, mildly surprised. “Well, sure - I was just about to ask you to do the same. While you’re here, might as well make yourself useful. It should also help reassure you that I’m not doing anything illegal here or something like that, if you don’t believe me.”
“Alright, perfect-” Ace said, taking another look at the crater. “I assume those fires hurt stands, right? Uh… Got any tips about dealing with that? If I don’t know any weaknesses or whatnot, it’ll be hard to deal with Gasoline Family when my stand’s liable to be burnt up just like that. I’d rather not get flash-fried.” Ace said with a chuckle.
“Oh, that? Shouldn’t be a problem for you. See, my Sleep Apnea has the ability to force out ‘aspects’ or ‘parts’ of objects or people into copies of them that it creates. By putting the copies together, they’ll merge, but otherwise, the original body will lose said ‘aspect’ forever. Now, when Sleep Apnea first touched you, I made it activate its ability on you. It removed your body and your clothes’ ability to heat up. Of course, this means that the fire won’t hurt you or your stand at all, so that’s not going to be a problem.”
Now this was information that was useful to Ace. Knowing Holiday’s stand would certainly be useful for Vitus, but… It didn’t take long for the analytical part of his brain to realize what the catch here was. His body wasn’t heating up, but it could probably still cool down - that might’ve been why he felt colder before. “And I assume you’ll bring me back to normal once Gasoline Family’s dealt with? I’d rather not freeze to death, you know.”
“Well, don’t worry about that - I’d rather not have anyone’s death on my conscience, so I’ll return you back to normal so long as you don’t try to attack me or keep me from killing Gasoline Family, alright?” The anger in Holiday’s voice had disappeared, now replaced by a more nonchalant attitude, though Ace knew that he probably hadn’t calmed down much.
With a sigh, Ace took a step towards the crater in front of him. “Well, alright then - catch me up on what exactly Gasoline Family does, and I’ll get to work.” Knowing that his life was in Holiday’s hands wasn’t very uplifting, but this could very well turn out to be in Ace’s advantage if he played it right, and if he showed Holiday how useful and cooperative he was to make him lower his guard and spill information.
Max wasn’t sure what to expect when Holiday first mentioned Gasoline Family and told him where to go, but now that he was here, at the center of the crater in which it resided, he could see just how intimidating the stand was. The crater was absolutely decimated - thick puddles of a liquid that seemed to be gasoline were spread around, many of which had already been ignited. Piles of scraps and soot were strewn around, and the smell of smoke was overwhelming. However, Holiday used his stand on him to give him resistance from the fires, which would help in the fight.
Well, if he wanted to get anything done, he’d have to actually get closer to the stand. He briefly glanced behind him, towards Holiday, and spotted someone else descending down the pit towards him, a man with a checkered suit and a bowler hat.
“Oh? Who’re you? Did Holiday get you to help out here as well?” Max asked nonchalantly. In response, Ace grinned and spoke. “I guess you could say so. The name’s Ace High.” Ace sounded quite calm, unphased by the dangerous stand at the center of the crater. “Huh, I see. I’m Max. Having anyone else around to help deal with this is nice.”
With a shrug, Ace took another step forward and spoke. “Heh, yeah - just make sure that you don’t get in my way, yeah? We just gotta get this over with quickly”. Max wasn’t sure if Ace was just cracking a joke of some kind or if he was belittling him. Either way, it slightly annoyed him.
“Oh yeah? Sure, sure, I’ll stay out of your way… But I’ll probably be done with it by the time you get close - and if you step in front of one of my attacks, it’s your fault, not mine.” Max responded. Dealing with Gasoline Family was of utmost importance, of course, but he did get a slight urge to try and outdo Ace.
“Hey, I’m just joking around, yeah?” Ace said, noticing the effect of his comment. This wasn’t entirely true - in his mind, the most important thing would be gathering information from Holiday, and performing impressively against Gasoline Family could help build trust between Holiday and him. To that end, Ace really would have preferred it if Max stayed out of his way. “And don’t just blindly rush that stand down, it’s not gonna help. That is, unless you’ve got a deathwish, of course.” Ace said, his comment doing nothing but further annoying Max.
The two men stood at the bottom of the crater, taking a look at the stand in front of them while preparing themselves for the fight ahead of both of them. It likely wouldn’t be easy, but neither of them was going to leave until the stand was dealt with and the fire raging in the scrapyard was finally extinguished.
OPEN THE GAME!
Location: A crater at the bottom of an abandoned scrapyard by the edge of the slums. Each tile is 4x4 meters, making the map 64x64 meters overall. The players are currently at the bottom of the crater, 8 meters deep into the ground. The grey border is the incline / drop from the outside to the crater into the crater itself, and it’s quite steep. The dark grey areas are the outside of the crater, and are inaccessible to the players. The light orange shapes surrounding the map are puddles of gasoline formed within depressions in the ground - these are roughly 0.2 meters deep, and are currently the only areas of the map capable of containing pools of gasoline deep enough for Gasoline Family to teleport to (though more might end up being formed as the match goes on).
The ground is a mixture of dirt, soot, and ruined pieces of (non-conductive) scrap. Despite the mess, Max is somehow still able to rollerskate around without much issue. The hollow circles are burning pieces of scrap (mainly tires), constantly emitting dense smoke. The area that the smoke obscures is represented by the transparent red circles. Piles of scrap (which also contain various pieces of conductive metal scraps of varying sizes) are littered around the area and are represented by the areas filled with various small light grey shapes, piling up to about a meter in height.
At the bottom right corner of the map is Modern Holiday, whose purpose is explained in the Additional Information section.
Goal: Make sure that you contribute more to the defeat of Gasoline Family than your opponent!
Additional Information: Gasoline Family’s sheet (and a shortened description of its ability) can be found here. Pastebin version here
For the purposes of this match, thanks to Sleep Apnea’s ability, the characters, their stands, and any and all gear that is on them, are functionally immune to any and all fire or heat damage, not even feeling it. Force from explosives can still be felt and smoke is still hazardous to breathing.
Modern Holiday has briefed both characters on Gasoline Family’s abilities, and on how it fights - In general, it will remain mostly quiet, sometimes punching an object near it out of frustration but otherwise staying still until someone gets close enough for it to fight them. Gasoline Family doesn't seem to be capable of very complex thoughts or of formulating involved plans, but it doesn't need that most of the time - its overwhelming power and durability grants it the edge it needs to win out in most direct encounters, but it also knows how to use its ability to grant itself an extra edge.
In close combat, Gasoline Family knows how to create and activate buttons in the environment around it to create explosions for extra damage, and even purposefully tears them off and utilizes the gasoline streams as projectiles should its opponent stay for too long outside of its range. In addition, it will attempt to advance towards any opponent that has gotten close and that is now trying to escape.
After taking enough damage, Gasoline Family will attempt to teleport away to the puddle that is furthest away from where it currently is. Put in numerical terms, this happens when it loses a fifth of its “health”, meaning that it will teleport four times over the course of the match. If no puddle is available, it will attempt to fill the “viable” pools with more gasoline using streams, and if any of them have been plugged up, then it will dig out more with its own two A pow hands. At any moment it will try to make sure that there’s at least two pools available and filled with gasoline, though more than that may form as the match goes on.
Modern Holiday is watching the match from the bottom left corner of the map, at the top of the scrap pile, and is willing to assist you out in a limited degree - he’s willing to use Sleep Apnea on any object tossed to him, and will toss you back the copy of it that the stand creates (without manipulating any property or aspect of it), which will be a stand object, and as such will be able to hurt Gasoline Family.
Should you try and leave the map or directly and knowingly attack Modern Holiday, he will simply refuse to return your bodies back to normal after the match and you will eventually freeze to death, just as Ace predicted. Same goes for attempting to kill your opponent - injuring them is allowed, but not to an extent where they wouldn’t be able to assist in the fight any more.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Sharp Lookers	Ace High	“M-Maybe the attacks weren't meant to hurt us... they were meant to douse us with gasoline!?” So you’re going to have to get rid of this stand before you can get any information from Modern Holiday, but that’s fine - you’ve handled worse in the past, and you can already think of a few ways to manipulate this situation to your advantage. During the match, make use of the environment and of the various stands within it!
Baker Street Rat Pack	Maxwell “Ten-Ten” Tenet	“He doused himself with the gasoline... He panicked, because you were going to finish him off!” You’re not sure how this whole situation got so crowded and messy, but dealing with Gasoline Family shouldn’t be too bad either way. In fact, this might even open up some new opportunities for you - During the match, make use of the environment and of the various stands within it!

Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
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Poppy Seed Tea Guide - My thoughts and findings after 10 years.

Hi all,
To say thank you for all the great advice here, I'm going to put down everything I've found about PST over my 10 years of use. If others want to contribute, or find something that is wrong or shouldn't be in here, I'll be happy to make updates. I won't be discussing or responding to any questions about sourcing.
* DISCLAIMER: While I've run this guide past a medical professional who is a part of the sub, NONE of this should be taken as medical advice. Everything I've put down here is simply my experience as a 10 year user of PST, and 15 year user of opiates and opioids. Remember this: PST is liquid opium - morphine and codeine - drugs that have killed many people. It's not a toy, and it's not a competitive sport, like a 'smoke-a-thon'. If you don't use poppy seeds with intelligence and respect, they can kill you.
I don't use meth, and wouldn't write a guide for it. But speaking as somebody with chronic pain caused by an auto-immune disease, and the failure of doctors to properly support me, I have to look after myself. Many here are in the same boat. I am able to lead a relatively healthy life with PST, so I can attest that there is a legitimate use for it. Please understand that I'm coming from a position of using PST as pain relief. If you're a purely recreational user without pain, understand that because of a number of factors, primarily availability and a wild variation in strength between sources and batches, PST can be incredibly addictive, dangerous, and the odds are against you being able to use it as a purely recreational experience without becoming addicted.
EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT
Not everybody gets the same effect from PST. I personally get euphoria & pain relief, followed by a sustained amount of energy. Others will be sleepy and nodding. Others get varying amounts of itchiness. Some never have a problem urinating, others can't squeeze a drop.
True story: I've met a person who was able to get a HUGE effect from just 2-3 tablespoons worth of the tea that I prepare for myself, when I'd drink 2-3 cups at that strength. Literally a tablespoon of average seeds had them on the ropes. The most important point here is that you can't take what one user advises as gospel.. including me. I'm trying to err well on the side of caution, particularly after seeing what 2% of my dose can do for someone without tolerance. Always stay safe.
TOLERANCE - START SMALL
Every supply will have differences from batch to batch. I've even noticed a difference from the top to the bottom of a large pack due to free opium dust making it's way to the bottom of a pack. If you're not 100% certain you know how strong your seeds are, start VERY small, at perhaps one ounce of seeds. I've had an extremely strong euphoric effect from 1/4 cup of seeds from a new supply combined with a new preparation method, where I was using 2 pounds per dose the previous day. The washing of seeds prior to sale varies, some may not be washed at all. This is the equivalent of taking a pharmaceutical tablet not knowing whether it's 30mg of Codeine, or 80mg of Oxycodone.
Following on from that, keep tolerance in mind, and monitor it as much as you can. While increasing tolerance is a pain in the ass, it does give you something of a buffer if the worst were to happen. A sudden decrease in tolerance can be VERY dangerous if you don't keep it in mind. If you were to use PST on Saturday and Sunday, then abstain during Monday to Friday, your tolerance will drop through the week. For those without solid experience and tolerance, and even experienced users at times, this can be treacherous. Don't use a large dose after even a few days off. Start small.
A great piece of advice is to split up a batch of tea, drinking a small amount, and waiting to see what effect it has. 60-90 minutes will be enough for you to feel the effects. Unless you know your seeds and what you're doing, don't gulp down your entire batch of tea in 30 seconds flat.
DOSE TIMING
If you're only using PST recreationally, I would recommend no more than 1 dose per week. At this level, you may have a chance at keeping this as a recreational thing without it spiraling. But the second you're starting to feel a compulsion to increase the frequency, addiction is at work and you're on the downward slope.
In my position, I regularly use 2 doses per day for pain management. The first is often one larger dose, with 1-2 much smaller follow-up doses to get to where I need to be for pain relief and energy. In the afternoon after work, I'll use medium sized dose to top me up for the rest of the day. As with other painkillers, you will get extra pain relief if you're only spacing doses by a few hours, but if you're trying to get a second buzz for the day, I'd recommend no less than 8 hours between doses, and no more than 2 doses per day. This seems to be the amount of time your body needs to 'reset', it's been my rule of thumb for 15 years, it works for me. Even then, if you follow this daily, it won't take long before you're increasing your dose or needing a day or two off to lower your tolerance.
Something I can say with reasonable certainty is that you can't take an initial dose, then do the same thing again in 2 hours time and expect another buzz. The body doesn't have unlimited chemicals to pump out every time you want to push the button. If I take my first dose of the day and it's weak, I know I can take a second dose which will elevate my energy levels, and that'll get me through the day. But it'll do little else.
It's very important to keep in mind that PST is longer acting than many other forms of pain relief. Some people have said they get a full 24 hour effect from a dose.. I personally get a solid 6-8 hours. If you aren't spacing out your doses enough, you are putting yourself at risk of an overdose. Add in a second dose when the first is still acting on your system, and you're at risk of overdosing. This is common in methadone users, because of the long acting nature of that bastard of a drug.
PREPARATION
Any time I mention how much seed I personally use for a dose, this is NOT a recommended dose for anybody else. This is what I personally use at the 15 year mark to control significant pain. It is a STRONG dose, taken by someone with SIGNIFICANT tolerance and LOTS of experience. The seeds are quite viable, but definitely not 'strong', not even close to some of the pictures I've seen of other sources. As per the story at the beginning, my dose could quite easily kill somebody.
START SMALL or don't start at all.
Most people including myself stick to the bottle method. Some do this on a stove top but I've never tried, so I won't comment there. I personally use either a 1.5, or 2.25 litre Coke bottle and fill with seeds to the bottom edge of the wrap-around label. I use either room temperature Coke Zero / No Sugar (for the high pH), or hot tap water with some sort of flavoring. While I've had many good highs from using cold water or cold Coke, warm/hot liquid does seem to reliably increase the strength. Because of variable seed strength, you may not get a consistently better effect from hot water over cold, but I do think that hot water is the most effective. There has always been some disagreement over whether boiling water destroys the alkaloids, so to err on the side of caution I don't put anything with the seeds that would burn my hand.
The seed-liquid ratio is hard to suggest, but you need to be able to freely shake the bottle without the mixture feeling like a slurry, or worse, wet cement. You need those seeds moving around without clumping up. Generally once I've shaken my bottle, the seeds will settle and there'll be roughly an inch of water above the seed line.
The bottle needs to be shaken hard, for around 1-2 minutes. The objective is to strip as much of the alkaloid on the outside of the seed off as possible, and getting it strained into a cup, without taking so long that the seeds will be to absorb liquid (and alkaloids).
As above, start small, drink 1/4 - 1/3 of your batch and see how you feel in 90 minutes. As you get more experienced you'll know what works.
TASTE
Poppy seed tea tastes like crap. It's hard to compare it to anything, but it should taste earthy, dirty, bitter. I've never met anyone who had anything nice to say about it. I've used sugar-free Coke for mine instead of water for a long time, and only just recently switched to plain water. You can add all sorts of things to make it taste better, fruit juice concentrates, teabags, sugar. Without any flavoring, you should be able to drink it with your nose blocked, unless you have a weak stomach. It's not nice, but no great drug tasted nice.
The bitterness can sometimes indicate that you've made a strong batch, but DON'T put too much faith in that. I've had batches that were incredibly bitter and did nothing, while I got caught out with one that tasted about as strong as a 5th or 6th wash (not that I wash that many times), yet it knocked me on my ass out of nowhere, to the point that I wouldn't have been able to work without being obviously high.
If you've water that is too hot, shaken the bottle for too long, or try to make a batch with yesterday's seeds, you'll get a distinct taste. It's hard to describe, but it tastes.. wrong. You'll notice a slightly fatty texture which is the seed's oils, and a vaguely organic decomposing smell. One smell/taste you can describe is the licorice odor that seeds give off when they've been in a bottle for a few days and started to pressurize the bottle. You'll smell it if you don't dispose of your seeds in 24-36 hours. Obviously these seeds are WELL beyond useless. Also, if you taste or smell anything 'chemical', get rid of the seeds.
COLOR
There are plenty of pictures on this sub showing what the color of good tea looks like. It should be cloudy, possibly with dirt and plant matter, and a beige to dark brown color. Two things to look out for - if it's milky white, that usually means seed oil, you've shaken too long or used water that is too hot. And if the water is completely clear, it's possible the seeds have been completely washed prior to sale (or worse, been used for tea and dried, then resold).
NAUSEA
Some people will experience stomach discomfort or nausea when taking recreational doses. Not all stomachs will thank you for dumping a large amount of foul tasting swill into them. It's worth noting this here, because a little nausea and discomfort isn't always an overdose symptom. You can usually ease the nausea by eating a small meal or a glass of milk prior, or during. Because of the reports of fat being able to increase opiate bioavailability, I would steer clear of really fatty foods here, carbs or protein will be safer.
OVERDOSE
I'm not an expert here, and the onus is on you, the user, to do your research on overdose symptoms before you experiment with ANY drug. But there are a few obvious ones that should never be ignored. Vomiting, slow breathing, reduced heart rate, vomiting, and nodding. If you're not familiar with nodding, it's nodding off to sleep. Think the stereotype of a heroin user in a movie. If your head is dipping, you're finding it hard to keep your eyes open, dropping off to sleep briefly.. you're in dangerous territory.
IMPORTANT: Like any opiate, you should never take PST with any other CNS depressant drug: alcohol, benzodiazepines, other opiates/opioids, or sedatives. They can dramatically increase the likelihood of respiratory depression and OD. In layman's terms, this will likely play out with you nodding, falling asleep, your breathing will slow to the point of stopping completely, and you will die without intervention.
PLEASE - spend 15 minutes looking into opiate/opioid overdose symptoms, and have a plan if you find yourself in trouble. Smart users have Narcan on their possession and somebody available to administer it. A large amount of overdoses happen when the user is alone, with nobody available to step in when things start going wrong.
DISCRETION
It can be difficult (but feasible) to keep preparation secret, if you're in that position. Shaking is noisy, but can be mitigated by wrapping the bottle in a blanket, masking with background noise, etc. Straining a bottle can cause cracking noises from deforming plastic, so my suggestion is not to squeeze the bottle too much. Squeeze out perhaps 10%, then with your hands wrapped around the bottle, you can manipulate the sides to suck in air and return to it's original shape, relatively quietly. If you squeeze to the point that the sides are touching, you'll make all sorts of cracking and snapping noises trying to get air back in so that the last of the liquid can be strained.
I also try to keep the bottle upside down from start to finish, so that the liquids are always toward the exit. If you have to put the bottle down, try to place it with the cap down (and obviously closed). It seems intuitive to have the bottle right way up to refill with air, but this can cause problems getting every last drop out.
The very last of the liquid will come out bubbling. This tells you you're at the end, and it can get a little noisy. When you hear this, squeeze gently or just call it, there's not much coming out at this point.
Poppy seeds are small and get EVERYWHERE. Keep an eye out for them. If they're regularly showing up around a sink, toilet or elsewhere and spotted, they could tip somebody off.
POTENTIATION
There are numerous threads all across the internet with lists of potentiators that can increase the effects of your PST. I personally haven't found anything groundbreaking here. Dosing on an empty stomach is well known and does seem to be quite noticeable over dosing after eating. In my experience, I can only guess that, at best, there might be an extra 5-10% increase up for grabs using common potentiators quoted online, which I don't find very noticeable. If you're using responsibly and have the potentiator on hand, you might find something that works, but generally speaking, there aren't any silver bullets that'll make your PST appreciably stronger. Dextromethorphan (DXM) is purported to keep tolerance from rising, but only if you're using it daily in a therapeutic level, as recommended on the packet.
Grapefruit juice is commonly recommended as a potentiator, and while it doesn't work for me, the medical professional who looked over this guide can attest that it does work. The simplified explanation is that it blocks the livekidney system from filtering the drug at the speed it normally does, thus increasing the amount in your blood. It's also important to note that Grapefruit juice has a wide range of interactions with other medications. It's not uncommon to see a prescription label with a warning not to drink Grapefruit juice while taking the prescribed medication. As with everything here, do your research. Definitely don't jump into potentiators until you're comfortable using PST on it's own.
There are some things that will decrease, or negate the effects of PST. To start with, I get a better result with less liquid used. If you're using larger amounts of seed, you can halve the amount of liquid by splitting the seed between two bottles. Shake the first, strain into the second, strain into a cup. This puts the available alkaloids up for grabs across less area in the stomach. Consuming a large wash, followed by a large second wash, is likely to decrease the intensity.
It's been said that eating a fatty meal after your dose can increase oral absorption of morphine somewhere in the range of +30%. In a thread in this sub, one user reported using peanut butter to achieve this. I'm yet to try this one. There are plenty of threads on potentiation to research if you want to go down this path.
The safest bet is to prepare your tea, drink it, and wait. If you need to, sip some water, but do your best to just let your stomach do it's job without interruption.
CONSTIPATION
Constipation is a big part of opiate use, and it can be quite extreme with PST. I highly recommend the regular use of a gentle stool softener like Coloxal & Senna. Magnesium tablets are well known to have a laxative effect. Coffee has always helped me. My first of the morning generally gets things started. I can't really qualify this, but I've noticed personally that if I don't stay regular, then I won't get as much euphoria and energy from my dose. It's as though there needs to be free bowel space for the body to utilize the drug. YMMV. I personally don't fret if I miss a day, but I will postpone a dose if I haven't moved anything by day 3.
There can be MAJOR consequences to constipation, the most immediate being fecal impaction. Do your research, this is important and if you're using PST regularly, you will have to deal with it.
URINATING
The majority of people I've talked to have had varying degrees of trouble peeing while on PST, mainly on heavier doses. I can't speak for women, but if I have problems (rare these days), one option is to pee with your pants down, at least around your thighs. You want to lose any restriction around your waist. I've also countered the problem by trying to get as far as I can standing, switching to sitting, and keep alternating, and things eventually get moving. There seems to be a mental aspect to this.. it's not something I can explain but I fare better in a private stall over standing next to a co-worker at a urinal. Keeping your mind clear helps.. I've found that sudden changes in thought or little body movements can cause all the pipes to snap shut.
DISPOSAL
Disposing of used seeds can be problematic. I've heard cases of clogged plumbing from washing them down the sink or toilet, and even a case where seeds stuck in the pipe below a sink beginning to sprout through the sink hole. I haven't come up with any good alternative that doesn't leave them out there for someone to find. I personally empty my bottles into a sink with good plumbing and a garbage disposal, with LOTS of running water.
My major problem during much of my time has been that I prefer using Coke over tap water. There's a trap here: rather than using one designated bottle for seed, emptying it of seed, cleaning and re-using it, you just keep using the newly empty bottles of Coke, and get in to a loop where you accumulate a bunch of bottles filled with used seed. In a pinch, it can be hard to get rid of the large amount of seeds, clean the bottles out, and dispose of them discretely. I've been in numerous situations where I've accumulated a pile of full seed bottles and had to think fast in order to keep things secret.
Keep on top of your used seeds regularly, and don't leave them around for someone to find, either in the house, or out in the world. Don't throw bottles full of seed in the garbage, empty them, wash the bottle and put them in the recycling.
Be smart - that last thing anybody should be doing is advertising PST and putting a target on it.
WITHDRAWAL
Everyone is different. Withdrawal can be brutal, or in my most recent case, quite manageable. In my own experience, I know I'll need a few packets of Immodium (Loperamide) to handle the rebound diarrhea that happens when you come out of forced constipation. Exercise helps. Drink plenty of water. The sweats are made worse if you don't shower regularly. I've gotten quite lucky by being on the lower end of the scale here, but some people really suffer. You should consider this when before you decide if you want to try PST. Using it regularly, I guarantee you WILL end up in positions where you have to go through this. It happens in a hundred different ways and it's not a fun way to live if you don't have to.
Protip: If you haven't got Immodium on hand, you can get a similar effect from a few tablespoons of Cornflour mixed with water or milk. It won't help with any other withdrawal symptoms, but it will help with the diarrhea.
SCAMS
Please do your research when buying seeds online, particularly from sites set up specifically to sell poppy seed.
If someone is actively giving you a source for seed, then they'll either be genuine good peoples, which will come across in your messaging with them, or they have a vested interest. They may be legit, but at worst it may be an outright scam taking your money with no product to send, or they're trying to earn commission somehow.
If a source is advertised or communicated here, look for other users with post history that can verify that they got their order and it was good quality.
FINAL THOUGHTS
One last time - PLEASE START SMALL, OR NOT AT ALL. I've spent more time on PST than other painkillers, and I can guarantee you that it WILL end up taking over your life. While I've managed to get through to manageable lifestyle on PST, it didn't come easy. Lots of supply dropout and forced withdrawal. Lots of time grappling with the need for pain relief versus feeling like a piece of shit drug addict. Lots of time considering how it's affected my life's story. The many compromises you need to make in your every day life to accommodate a drug habit.
Don't advertise PST. Don't talk about it freely, unless you're with someone who also uses it. PST flies under the radar in many countries, but it's not completely invisible. This is Fight Club, don't talk about it.
Thanks to everybody here who has contributed to the general body of knowledge.. you've all had a positive impact on my life.
Stay safe and be kind!
\** Note: If the Mods are happy for this post to remain up, I'll try to make a few edits for better reading, and make any changes that other Redditors/Mods thing should be made.*
EDIT 1: Added section on Scams.
EDIT 2: Added warning about CNS depressants to Overdose section. Thanks, Sunscript.

1 week post LIS

29/5’9”/160lbs/male here. This is going to be a longer post and I’ll continue to update the post-op below once a week, but I hope some of you can find some relief or tips buried in here to help deal with your possible issues. This community has always helped me through my experiences and just having something to distract myself from the pain sometimes has been the biggest help. I'm finding SO many more people than I thought deal with anal problems in their life since I've started being open about mine. I mean this honestly, 50% of people that I talk to agree and tell me they have some shit going on as well. Pun intended. So be open, talk with others, and please please go see a doctor if things don't seem to be getting better. I promise that's your best bet, and normally they will be gentle when examining, or won't even pry at all and just prescribe something that will most likely help.
Backstory:
I have been dealing with all stages (1-4) of hemorrhoids for about 9 years and anal fissures for about 5 years. I have a pretty large skin tag at the site of my posterior fissure, but in the past couple years I’ve developed a much more painful and harder to deal with anterior fissure a few centimeters away. Tried all the conventional routes to deal with everything, sans Botox, and most of the time was greeted with relief. Flare-ups would last anywhere from a couple weeks to a couple months depending on which ailments were flaring at the time but would eventually become manageable with care. My BM process for the last couple years would be petroleum in the canal before, wipe with Tucks once done, sitz bath for 10-15 minutes (always and still do get the most relief from the sitz bath), and several applications of all the creams all the way up to bedtime. This was fine, but obviously not ideal, until about 6 weeks ago I had one of the hardest stools of my life after a hike with fiancé while on vacation. Afterwards, my pain level was a 10/10 for 6 straight hours after. Timing-wise this was not unusual, but to stay at the 10/10 level for that long was scary and I like to think of myself as having a pretty high pain tolerance. I decided it was time for another visit to the colorectal surgeon ASAP and she prescribed me the normal Diltiazem cream. After a couple weeks of application, it wasn’t really providing any relief that I would normally get from that route. We spoke briefly about doing Botox which has a 95% success rate, but if I had to go under, why not just go with the 98-99% success rate of LIS. According to my doctor, those figures are supposedly for men. I think they may be a little less for women. Regardless, I opted for the surgery and I’ll detail it below.
Odd things that provided relief for me throughout the years:
- Eating an especially spicy meal – I’m a huge hot sauce fan, so this was a double treat for me when it worked. My thought here was when my next day BM comes out burning, which I have since dubbed “hot poop” it would “cauterize” the wound. LOL, this probably wasn’t really the case, but it actually seemed to help on SEVERAL occasions!
- Flexing my butt to pinch the stool as it got to the anal opening - my thought was this would keep the anus from expanding too much and possibly keep the cut from reopening… this is very weird because it’s almost like backwards thinking trying to keep the stool in you when you’re about to pass it, but it seemed to work for me for a couple years, as long as you kept your stool soft.
- Squatty Potty’s have been totally hit or miss for me. It’s been hard to predict whether helpful or not from a fissure standpoint, but there’s no denying it’s technically a healthier position to conduct a symphony of poopies from.
- I prefer Dibucaine well over Lidocaine. I’m not sure if it’s even sold over the counter anymore. I can sometimes find it and sometimes not. There’s probably some legal jumbo behind it that I’m unaware of, but it’s seemed to work better from a pain management standpoint over Lidocaine.
ANYWAY
Surgery 9/30/2020 - 10AM:
Really surprised about this, but the only prep was stop eating your normal diet by midnight the night before. THAT’S IT. Oh, and a COVID test, but this obviously won’t be the case forever and I found that uncomfortable, but not as horrible as many people make it out to be. Personally, I was really dreading having to colon cleanse with the industrial laxatives like I did for my colonoscopy several years ago because I’m sure that would’ve really irritated the fissures, but I was so pleasantly surprised when my doctor told me to just stop eating. Fine by me. Surgery was standard, IV, go under, come out not feeling or remembering a damn thing. I thought I was going to be hearing the acronym LIS thrown around a bunch, but technically speaking I was having a fissurectomy (fissure and skintag removal) and sphincterotomy (meaning small incision to anus muscle wall). Pretty sure that’s what LIS entails, but not 100% on this. The nurse told me I could go right back to my normal diet, but middle finger to that. I’m eating high fiber, fresh fruit, and stews for this whole thing. I’m not trying to get backed up.
Post-Surgery:
I was groggy and nauseated leaving the hospital around 2PM, but entire day 1 pain levels were low - 3/10. I did feel quite a bit of pressure down there, kind of like needing to poop, but I think was attributable to the foam packet that was stuffed in there to, I assume, keep the wound closed and stop any leakage. Took a sitz bath at night and pulled the bandages off as nurse instructed me to do so then slept like a baby. Didn’t take any painkillers (just Ibuprofen and Colace)
Day 1:
Had the famous post-surgery BM around noon. Posterior fissure pain was already virtually gone but hurt a good bit where the sphincterotomy took place and where my single stitch was. The pain wasn’t so much during the passing of the stool, but immediately after. And not to mention a good deal of blood. 8/10 pain level for that, but as soon as I got into the sitz bath, it went down to a 6/10 and stayed that way for the rest of the day.
Day 2:
Noticing a lot of leakage. I don’t think it’s actual feces coming out, but puss from the wound. I’ve bought a large box of gauze pads to fold up and keep in my crack to stop my briefs from getting ruined. BM was around noon again and very similar to the day before’s passing, where it doesn’t hurt during, but high pain immediately after until I’m able to lay in the tub for the sitz bath. Still haven’t taken any painkillers besides the Ibuprofen, but considering it before my BM. I finally got a chance to talk to my doctor. She didn’t visit me after the surgery, which was kind of annoying, but she had a pretty ominous message. “Don’t be a hero about your painkillers, it’s going to get worse before it gets better”. Sure, whatever you say Doc.
Day 3:
Didn’t BM this day (not uncommon for me). Puss leakage still significant. Took several sitz baths to make sure I was providing ample blood flow to the surgical site and had some chicken for the first time. Pain level 4/10 pretty much all day.
Day 4:
Went to the mall with my fiancé and got a very light lunch afterwards. Towards the end, I knew something was brewing down there. We got home and I immediately hopped on the toilet. My poop was pretty hard to pass, and I had to bear down. When it was done, the pain was the worst I’ve ever had in my entire life – 11/10. Even the initial sitz bath wasn’t helping. I gobbled down a painkiller and prayed. It took about 45 minutes before it subsided, and I sat in the tub the whole time. Afterwards, I laid on my stomach for pretty much the rest of the day with a heating pad on my ass. Luckily the pain was down to a 4/10 by bedtime.
Day 5-7:
I’ve BM’d at the same time the last 3 days with almost the same results each time. The passing is not bad, the immediate 10/10 pain happens right after, but subsides after progressively fewer minutes in a sitz bath. Day 5 took 30 minutes to go away, day 6 took 20 minutes, day 7 took 10 minutes. It really is throwing yourself into the gauntlet every time you must poop, but the good news is that gauntlet is becoming shorter and shorter. I talked to my fiancé’s stepfather who is a surgeon and confirmed what I’m going through is par for the course. He doesn’t work on asses, but it all sounded standard for a surgical site. His words were something to the effect of, “Our bodies are still in shock a few days after a surgery and the real healing/swelling/pain doesn’t come until about day 3-4. It’s very common for a patient to come to me and say they are in the most pain on days 6-8.” The good news for me is outside of the BM process, my pain levels are down to a 1/10 and there’s next to no leakage. I can tell there’s still healing going on, but it’s not uncomfortable at all down there anymore. I’m just hopeful for easier BM’s moving forward.
Day 8-9:
I didn't have a BM on Thursday and felt pretty cleaned out. I took it as a good sign since I've been eating really clean. Was at a 2/10 pain level all day, nothing really to report. I went out to eat with some friends for Mexican, but avoided anything fried. This morning I was feeling a good deal of pressure down there and some bubble guts so I knew a BM was coming. I went around 10AM andddd..... FINALLY had very reasonable discomfort levels. Like a 6.5/10. After a 10 minute soak, I was back down to a 1/10. I can really sense the healing going on down there. I would say I'm feeling 85% better. Very excited for more healing this week.
Day 10-11:
It was my bestfriends wedding day on Saturday so I had really hoped that I would be ready to go by this time since I had quite a bit of best man duties and would be on my feet all day. Was feeling very good most of the day, through the wedding, and into the reception, but was a bit nervous because I knew I was eventually going to have to go. After really cutting loose on the dance floor for a few hours (in celebration of them & me feeling better), I walked off the grab a drink and felt the downstairs pressure. This was a little nerve-wracking cause I haven't BM'd away from my own home toilet in a VERY long time, but it was time to test it out. I went and it was mostly good, but there was some blood, which is a bummer cause I hadn't seen much in my last few go's, plus I couldn't soak afterwards. I wetted some TP with warm water and tried to use that to clean it as well as I could, but there was definitely some throbbing. I was drinking too, so it was probably worse than I thought, but it didn't seem like regression. I got home around 2AM and did a quick soak, but passed out rather quick. Sunday was rest day, didn't do anything at all, but watch sports and didn't have a BM. Actually quite itchy down there. Hoping that's a healing sign.

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Alonzo Brooks: A deep dive into the accused

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FOREWORD
I usually don't bother to speculate too much because most online/televised cases are too complicated and muddied by the continued passing of information between news sites. This is one of the rare cases where I think there is enough information out there for us to identify the killer. Unfortunately, the information available to us online is poorly organized. If you have more information, please comment or DM me privately. This post will be constantly updated throughout the days. Share this around if you can. The more people see this, the more likely we will getrelevant information. With more information, the more likely we will be able to identify the killer(s).
For event timeline, as well as my ongoing theory, click on the links or see the comment section.
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HOUSEKEEPING
Before we get into the characters involved/suspected to be involved, it is important that I stress here that it is likely that the FBI or KBI actually know who the killer is (or killers are) but just need more evidence. The information presented here will unlikely be new to the FBI/KBI. However, posts like these keep interest and momentum on the case, placing more stress on people to come forward.
In a similar vein, I must also stress for people NOT to go after these people online. It results in people closing down their social media accounts (bad for us) and it is also incredibly unfair to drag people into this when we don't know whether any of what is said is true. If you want to hear it from a source closer to the case, here is a message by the family shared by u/localKSchild.
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CHARACTER BREAKDOWNS
Known characters involved:

Alonzo Brooks (D.O.B: 19/05/1980; Approximate age at party: 23) died, but not on the night/morning he went missing (03/04/2003)
Edward Smith (D.O.B: ; Approximate age at party: ?) was Alonzo's lift to the party and is a friend of Alonzo. Edward Smith is the anonymous name used in the blog post here. It is assumed that Edward Smith is actually Adam (surname currently unknown, though I currently suspect it to be either: Folkhard, Moore, Mosby [this will be confirmed quite quickly once I speak to the right people]) or Dane Hartman (based on this article here).
Justin Sprague (D.O.B: ; age at party: ~17-18 [based on graduation in 2003]) was Alonzo's lift home. It is stated that Justin was supposed to drive Alonzo home.
Daniel Fune (D.O.B: ; age at party: ~17-18 [based on graduation in 2003]). Appears to be the brother of Derik Fune, friends with Justin Sprague (both commented on a Youtube video here). Saw the fight between Alonzo and the other person (suspected to be Donnie Abell). Left the party after an hour and a half ('Nicky said lets go lets go'). Daniel left to go to another party. Unsure who 'Nicky' is.
Tyler Broughard (DOB: ; age at party: ~17-18 [based on graduation in 2003] - friend of Alonzo. Suggested that Alonzo was the only black man at the party. Left the party after 45 minutes to an hour (11PM)
Dane Hartman (DOB: ; age at party:): - friend of Alonzo.
Rodney English: friend of Alonzo's, did not attend party but was involved in initial search
Billy Brooks - Alonzo's brother, found body after his uncle phoned him

Characters suspected to be involved (or those affiliated to those suspected to be involved)
The suspected to be relevant Boones, an overview: It has been suggested that the Boones run La Cygne due to their wealth. They are mostly conservatives/republicans who are what you would expect for people who come from small country towns. They enjoy guns and hunting related activities. They participate in 'Coon Hunting', which is actually short for racoon hunting, which they use a mixture of dogs (which they might breed) and guns for. They have their children learn and participate in this sport very early on. They also hunt squirrels and other types of animals. The Boones are supposed to own a 'cafe' (see blog comments). If you look at La Cygne on Google maps, you will see that the closest cafe to the river where Alonzo was found is 'Family Cafe'.
I will say on the outset that I think the Boones are a red herring. They were easy suspects due to them being conservatives and exhibition of racist tendencies (nothing to do with them being conservative). To be very specific: I do NOT think they were the ones that murdered Alonzo. However, I do think it is possible that they may have been involved in preserving his body/putting his body back in the place where it was found.

The relevant Boones

Jerry Boone (D.O.B: DD/MM/1943; approximate age at party: 61): Jerry Boone, married to Dixie Boone, is deceased. His last post on Facebook was late 2015. It is suggested that he is the grandfather by u/thrownoutn-way, a suggestion that would appear to correspond with his age (based on photos on his Facebook posted in 2015).
- Jerry Boone and his wife owned Family Cafe
- They had many children, including Patrick, Richard and JP, as well as Tiffany and Lisa (described below)
Patrick Boone (D.O.B; DD/MM/1965; age at party: ~39) - Pat Boone is the primary male Boone suspect. Pat Boone is one of the older figures suspected.
Pat is married to Judy.
Pat is a 'coon hunter' and while there is no direct evidence of him being a racist (*edit*: I take this back, he is likely a racist, I'm just trying to be objective here), there is no doubt that he keeps racist company. People have different thresholds for what they would consider racist.
Interesting points for consideration:
- [Squirrel in the Freezer]: On Facebook, 3 years ago, Pat Boone uploaded a photo of a black squirrel that he had supposedly gotten back from the Taxidermist. There were comments on the post by two individuals: Walt Koshko and Dalton Cummings. Walt made a racist comment about there being a n-word in the wood pile. Dalton Cummings made a comment 'How much did it cost to have that mounted Pat? I have a black one in the freezer is like to have done'. This latter comment had a full stop comment by Nathan Butman and a comment by Pat himself saying '300'. What is very suspicious is that the comments by Walt and Dalton have since been deleted. I have screenshots of the before and after here (see link above). Note that this comment was made 3 years ago, and the initial comments about the freezer (which occurred in the blog linked at the start) were made 6 years ago. This could just be Dalton making fun of the supposed Freezer incident. However, remember, these people are animal hunters and will know how to preserve bodies. The body of Alonzo was likely planted after it had been frozen (since it had not decomposed).
- [Like the animals they are]: Dalton Cummings who made the joke about the black squirrel in his freezer posted a video of black lives matter saying 'We should shoot them down like the animals they are'. Pat Boone comments: They will find out who's lives matter if this shit keeps happening!!!'. This is a comment made amongst a series of other racist and frankly, frightening comments/
- [KKK reference]: 3 years ago, Pat Boone uploaded a photo of himself in camouflage. Mike Goucher jokes that now he needs a white one. Assuming he is not referring to snow camouflage gear, he is clearly referring to a KKK uniform.
- [Huggins]: this is an infamous conversation between Pat and someone about David Huggings (former Linn County Sherrif arrested for child sex crimes). Notice how this is posted by Dane Hartman.
Tiffany Boone VanNorman (DOB: DD/MM/1988; age at party: ~16) - strongly suspected to be the girl that Alonzo had 'flirted' with (suggested by u/ariadne94 and now 'confirmed' according to u/Doom992 and other private sources). Based on her age, it is very likely that she is the person that was supposedly flirting with Alonzo (16 at the time, Alonzo was 23).
Interesting points for consideration:
- [Defending the family] Here is a post some posts she made (link) defending her family. Her Facebook has since been deactivated.
- [The Husband] Reddit user u/skiel04 is said to have spoken to Tiffany's husband, who gave information that corroborated with a post made by another reddit user u/famouspainous.
  - There are rumors regarding her marriage that I do not think are worth sharing here (not relevant to the case). You can infer what you want here.
- [Rape accusations] Here is a post that suggests she made rape accusations. This same post gives a lot of detail. It appears that the poster knows Tiffany, and knows more. With regard to who she was dating at the time.
  - Whether or not this is true is not particularly relevant (both the accusation of Alonzo and the accusation of Tiffany).
  - It is suggested here, though I have not been able to confirm, that Tiffany was dating the son of the Kansas City 'Judge' (the son was Logan Smith, and the judge was Richard Smith - see below for their character breakdowns).

Less suspected but less relevant or irrelevant Boones:

JP Boone (D.O.B; age at party: ?) - I believe JP is the youngest son of Jerry and brother of Pat. His Facebook is active. Based my profiling of him, I don't think he is as 'racist' as his brothers. There is very little relevant information on JP worth sharing.
- I do have a character sketch of this individual in my mind, but I don't feel right sharing it publicly. I do not think he is a relevant suspect.
Richard Boone (D.O.B; approximate age at party: ?) - appears to be one of the brothers. Little information known about Richard. There is very little relevant information on Richard worth sharing.
- I do have a character sketch of this individual in my mind, but I don't feel right sharing it publicly. I do not think he is a relevant suspect.
Tami Boone Blanck (DOB: DD/MM/YYYY) - daughter of Jerry and Dixie, current owner of Family Cafe.
Julie (Juley?) Boone (DOB: DD/MM/YYYY) - also a daughter of Jerry and Dixie.
Lisa Elmore (DOB: DD/MM/YYYY) - also a daughter of Jerry and Dixie. She must have changed her name after being married (just like Tiffany). She is mentioned in Tiffany's post (linked above). She has also defended the family. My understanding is her Facebook has been deleted or made private, though I am sure people have screenshots of them (please comment or DM).
Mandy Jenkins (DOB: DD/MM/1993; age at party: ~ 11) - not the daughter of the Boones. She is the individual that some have suggested was 'bragging' about how dangerous her family were. According to her Facebook post (detailed in the comments), she is a 'second cousin' of Boones. Mandy was supposedly the individual who was bragging about the fact that her family could have people killed. Based on her Facebook post, I honestly believe what she said is heartfelt (the probability of someone actually guilty producing a written piece with that level of rawness is unlikely). She was also 11 at the time. It is too unlikely for Mandy to have been involved and people should not harass this individual online.
Maci and Alli Boone (twins; (D.O.B: ; age at party: ~9 [Based on graduation in 2013]) - Assuming they are 18 when they graduates, they would have been approximately 9 years old at the party (Alonzo was 23), making them very unlikely suspects. Again, do not harass these individuals online, even if they don't align with you politically/are defending their family.

Relevant suspects

Logan Smith (DOB: DD/MM/1985; age at party ~18 based on graduation at JayHawk-Linn 2004) - suspected boyfriend of Tiffany Boone at the time.
- There appears to be two Logan Smith's living in LaCygne. One of them graduated from JayHawk-Linn in 2004 (making him approximately 18 or 19 at the party). This is the Logan we are interested in.
Interesting points for consideration:
- [Son of a Judge] Logan Smith is the son of the 'Kansas City Judge' Richard M. Smith. Richard M. There also appears to be two Richard Smiths. There is Richard M. Smith, who is a lawyer (see here), and there is another Richard Smith, who is the Chief (see here). I believe these are two separate people.
- [Tiffany's Boyriend?] While Logan Smith is believed to have been dating Tiffany Boone VanNorman at the time, there is also suggestion that he was actually dating Sam Ramsey. It's college, chances are everyone was dating everyone for short stints at the time.
- [Suspected violent history] Descriptions of Logan smith by Reddit user u/Wonderful_Adagio_741 stated that: the high ranking official who did have a son involved was judge Smith. Rumors from people close to his age is he is an arrogant asshole that has a past of beating up girlfriends. These are just rumors that circulate in small towns though, so take it with a grain of salt.
- [Suspected user of the N! word] Descriptions of Logan smith by Reddit user u/Quality_Accomplished suggests that: The logan smith from mound city the judges son would call blk kid from school the N! word in high school
- In the very same post, where u/Quality_Accomplished and u/Doom992 commented in, user u/Bigbottaboom6 made a double eye emoji, suggesting he/she thinks it is Logan. I have spoken to this redditor, and he/she appears to be a local, credible and knowledgeable (though he/she is not at all a suspect). Comments to this post suggests that Logan was friends with Donnie Abell.
- [Interracial relationship] Descriptions of Logan smith by Reddit user u/Doom992 suggests that: Not surprising, but very good to know. The word is that one of the assailants later got into an interracial relationship to have deniability for his motive that night. Logan Smith does indeed have a black girlfriend, which I guess is supposed to make people believe that he isn’t a racist. I bet she’d run the other way if she knew who he really was.
- I also have it on good authority from anonymous tip that Logan has a history of domestic violence (signs of violent tendencies). One of the cases was described to me as quite severe.

Donnie Abell (DOB: DD/MM/1984; age at party ~18) - Donnie Abell is also a name that is thrown around quite a lot online.
- Donnie is supposedly a wrestler and is the person believed to have gotten into a fight with Alonzo.
- It is suggested that Donnie Abel had moved to Nebraska after what had occured. Donnie Abell does have Facebook, though his account is highly private.
Interesting points for consideration:
- [Frankenstein] There was a very interesting post that Donnie made (now deleted), quoted by u/skiel04 to be: "I have met Frankenstein one night. It was a night that I created and I'll never forget. He said it best I have no friends and he followed through with it. I'm truly thankful to know. I may Rest in Peace. God is good!").

Tyler Broughard (D.O.B: ; age at party: ~17-18 [based on graduation in 2003])

Others:

Sherrif Stites - Police Sherrif at the time of the party. Further information to be filled.
David Huggins - Police Sheriff at the time of the party. Further information to be filled (though I might leave this as I don't think he is a relevant character).
Ty Clearwater - Questioned and cleared by the police. Involved with the rodeo.
Chris Trinkle - Further information to be filled.
Jacob Mills - Further information to be filled.

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KNOWNS DIVIDED BY LIKELIHOOD OF BEING TRUE
What we know to be true
Think of this section as the 'ground truths'. The points hear are absolute truths (or as close to absolute truth as we can get).

Alonzo Brooks attended a party with his friends Justin Sprague and co
Alonzo Brooks died, but the exact who and why are not yet resolved (03/04/2003)
Alonzo Brooks was found (01/05/2004) by his uncle during a family organized search party. His body was found near Middle Creek river, close to the house where the party is said to have occured.
The person who did the examination of Alonzo's body was Dr. Erik Mitchell.
The location of the party is (19907 KS HWY 152, LaCygne Kansas). This house was said to have been rented, though rumor has it (link to rumor to go here) is that the house was owned by the Boone family. The house is on the same side of the river as LaCygne
Justin Sprague left the party before Alonzo and Adam
Jerry Boone was on the city council in the same timeframe that Alonzo went missing (evidence for this here).

What we know is likely true
Think of this section as things that are true to most people who have followed this case, but are not 'facts' in the sense that we do not know if they are objectively true. We cannot be certain about these points, but we know them to be likely based on logic.

Alonzo Brooks death was due to a hate crime (this will be substantiated when you read the rest)
Alonzo Brook's body was placed in the location where it was found, rather than having been there for the entirety of the search, which spanned between 03/04/2004 to 01/05/2004.
Alonzo's body was preserved, likely using a freezer.
The person 'flirting' with Alonzo was Tiffany Boone VanNorman (if you have information to the contrary, please state this, as I am uncomfortable with having this piece of information under this section)
Alonzo Brooks got into a verbal and/or physical altercation with someone at the party. That somebody likely being Donnie Abell.
The person that got into the fight with Alonzo was Donnie Abell (if you have information to the contrary, please state this, as I am uncomfortable with having this piece of information under this section)
Justin Sprague left the party, but did not get 'lost' as he had suggested. This is not to say he was involved. I think he left the party out of being frightened. Getting lost from the house on the way into LaCygne is difficult. The house is one street away from the main road that cuts through the middle of LaCygne. Justin would only have to leave the driveway of the house and turn right to re-enter the town (which is visible from the street).
There is suggestion in the kansascity subreddit by u/kansastech that the people who lived in the house where the party occurred were from Spring Hill. The people who rented the house are apparently Jake Wasson and Kevin Kauffman (anonymous source).
Regardless of whether the Boones were involved, they know what happened that night
Alonzo and his friends were inebriated that night (alcohol and likely low-level drug use)

What we know that could be true or untrue
Section for things we know that may or may not be true. This should be the longest list. Items that receive further clarity will be moved above or below.

Justin Sprague went to get cigarettes and got lost. There is a lot of online speculation suggesting Justin to be guilty. I personally find these rumors to lack credibility or feasibility. Chances are Justin does know more, he just didn't divulge the information or the information he divulged didn't make it into the final cut of Netflix's UM.

What we know is likely untrue

The person that was flirting with Alonzo were Maci or Alli Boone.

What we know to be untrue

#######################################################################
Resources:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1q0_A1qZFf71g2qgH98FmKGfWnDR5ci5F
#######################################################################
UPDATED (13/08/2020):

Overhauled formatting

#######################################################################
UPDATED (11 and 12/08/2020):

Updated Detail on Logan Smith and Richard M. Smith
Added information about Richard M. Smith's arrest
Confirmed that family cafe is indeed owned by the Boones
Added that Alonzo's body was preserved, likely using a freezer (I will substantiate this further once I have the time)
Broke down blog post by Alonzo's aunt in the comments

#######################################################################
UPDATED (06/08/2020):
With increasing interest in this post, I've decided to overhaul some of what is posted here. At the moment, character breakdowns are mixed in with likely/unlikely events. I would like to have a character section, followed by the likely/unlikely events (and then a timeline).
If you have information that you think I need to have/ or if you think what I have posted is inaccurate, please comment or DM me. Information will be rectified based on good evidence.

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