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[OT] Ten Months ago I responded to a prompt about wandering into a cave and finding a world with tamable monsters. Today, Into the Tall Grass is a published novel!

Hello everyone!
To repeat what the title said, ten months ago I responded to a prompt:
[WP] When out in the woods, you discover a cave that leads to a world that operates under Pokémon logic... And find that you have an innate ability to tame the monsters of this world.
The idea absolutely gripped me - and now I’ve published a novel inspired by that prompt and my love of monster taming games! Here’s the details:
Two suns, foreign plants, and a whole slew of monsters to tame.
Amateur entomologist and reluctant Life Scout, Caleb finds far more than he expected when he stumbles through a hidden cave and into a new world full of Kritt - monsters that can be tamed and taught to fight. He also didn’t expect evil overlords and their minions looking to use the power of Kritt to grind this world under their bootheel.
Unless someone stops them, that is.
Once meeting Antoinette, an affectionate ant Kritt that bonds with Caleb, and Karla, a tamer of this world that’s living off the land and preparing to strike back against the Darkholds, they set off. Their goal? Help free the people of this world from the Overseer’s grasp. A mountain’s worth of threats stand in their way, though: the Overseer’s soldiers, terrible abominations, wild Kritt, and all the trouble Caleb’s sarcastic mouth can cause.
Welcome, Caleb, to the world of Kritt. Now evolve - or perish.
Into the Tall Grass is a Portal Fantasy/Isekai book with strong gamelit elements.
FAQ
Harem/Sex/Murder?
Nope. This story is designed to capture the feel of those classic games, and while it does have higher stakes than those games, it is designed to capture the light-hearted feel that we all love.
Audiobook?
Nothing yet announced, but I’ll update if there is one!
Stats?
Into the Tall Grass is a stat light gamelit, and the stats do not appear explicitly until later in the book once Caleb gets his totally-not-a-Pokedex goggles. The later books in the series will have more detailed stats as Caleb delves further into the system that runs this world.
Shorts?
They’re comfy and easy to wear.
Where do I catch the book?
Well, you first need to learn HM Cut, go to the hole in the wall after beating the second boss...or you can just get it on Amazon
Amazon US Link - UK | CA | AU | DE | MX | JP | IN | BR | FR | ES | IT | NL
I want to sample before I pick up?
Well, good news for you - just read on!
Caleb Cooper slapped at his arm with a growl. Another mosquito. He wouldn’t have said camping was his least favorite activity in the world. Even at sixteen, he could easily imagine worse ways to spend his time. He could have his feet dipped in acid, or be stabbed in the back repeatedly, or repeat algebra. But no one was forcing him to do any of those, because he’d passed algebra and hadn’t angered any Bond villains lately.
“C’mon, try to smile some,” his dad said, walking up behind him and shaking his back. “What more could you want? We’ve got the great outdoors, we’ve got trees, we’ve got sun, we’ve got fresh air...this is perfect!”
Caleb sighed. “Oh, yeah, surrounded by kids who’re still in junior high. It’s everything a growing teen could want. Toxic plants, the sun, brats who think I’m a weirdo, the sun again...what’s not to love? You know, I could be going to a party tonight.”
His dad’s smile didn’t waver. “You do so love the party scene. I mean, the last one you went to was...Jimmy Dryer’s eighth birthday party? Getting wild up in the hizzouse there.”
“Okay, dad, I need to tell you two things. First of all, if you say hizzouse out loud, ever again, I will die. I will literally fall over dead from embarrassment. No, I know the correct definition of literally and I am using it correctly, that is actually what will happen. Do you want to be responsible for filicide via intense shame?”
“I’m positive that’s not actually possible.”
“Oh, it totally is. Remember Becky? Died last year because her mom was singing ‘Ain’t nuthin but a G Thang.’ Sure, they say Becky changed schools because they moved, but it was all a cover up. Heard her mom singing and pow!” Caleb punched a closed fist into his empty hand. “dropped over dead.”
His dad laughed. “Noted. And the second thing?”
“You might have picked up subtle hints about this, what with me mentioning it no less than two hundred and ninety eight times on the drive down here according to you. I don’t really like camping.”
There was a long pause, and his dad’s face fell. Caleb immediately winced, but it was too late. “You used to beg to go out every year, remember?”
Yeah, in like 8th grade. When all his friends had been in boy scouts with him, and he’d been able to spend time with them. But high school had come, and his friends had moved on. But the Coopers came from a long line of Eagle scouts. His dad was an Eagle Scout, his grandfather had been an Eagle Scout, and Caleb’s dad would be damned if his son wasn’t an Eagle Scout. “Right,” Caleb muttered. “Sorry, I’ll give it a chance. I’m sure once I get back in the groove it’ll be fine.”
“That’s the spirit!” His dad’s face lit back up.
Caleb gave him an expression that could have been a grin if you squint hard enough. “Awesome. I’m going to...head out.” He turned to trundle off into the woods.
“Where are you going?” his dad asked.
Caleb held up a glass. “Going to see if I can find an Acorn Weevil. There’s a lot of oaks around here, and I’d like one for the collection.”
It was the one part of the outdoors Caleb enjoyed -- catching insects. It was a bit of an odd hobby, but Caleb was a bit of a junior entomologist and enjoyed it. He was thinking about going to college for entomology after he graduated. Something about the wide variety of possible insects, finding things that people usually overlooked, categorizing them...it was calming. He had several glass cases of them pinned at home, many of them gathered from scouting trips like these.
Naturally, it was the one part of the outdoors his dad didn’t like. His father turned green and motioned for Caleb to go ahead. “Don’t wander too far!” he shouted.
Yeah, yeah. It wasn’t like he could go too far even if he wanted to. The campsite was in the middle of a series of mid-Missouri bluffs, and wandering more than an hour’s walk would inevitably lead to a solid rock wall. Or a road.
Step by step, the sounds of the rest of the boy scout troop receded in the forest behind him. Caleb let out a sigh of relief. He was the only high schooler still in the troop, and a lot of the older kids thought he had to be some kind of loser to still be doing this at his age.
They aren’t wrong, Caleb thought. Just not for the right reasons. Being a boy scout isn’t what made him a loser. It was his complete lack of social life at high school, relegated only to a few other dorks at lunch who he didn’t really hang out with, and the fact that he collected bugs when most people were going to parties or making out or getting drunk or playing video games or even playing Magic: The Gathering - that made him a loser.
That’s right. The MTG kids could look down on him for bug collecting. Was that fair? Obviously, they deserved someone who they could look down on too, and Caleb understood that unlike their weird hobby, his weird hobby was also gross. Still, didn’t he deserve the same? Someone he could silently judge and feel superior to? But, no, the only ones lower than him on the social hierarchy were kids with actual issues, and Caleb didn’t want to be that kind of jerk.
The worst part was, he felt bad for not enjoying the scouts anymore. If his dad had planned these trips as one on one things, where they could go out and find rare insects, or even some other wildlife finding things like birdwatching or something, Caleb would have loved their trips as much as he used to. Well, probably. Maybe. I’d like it better if I knew this was the alternative, Caleb amended. These days, however, he’d found most of the insects at their usual camping sights. He actually had an acorn weevil already, but there was no way his dad would remember it - since his dad didn’t really look beyond his own wants. He wanted an Eagle Scout, so an Eagle Scout Caleb would be.
Especially after what had happened with mom. Dad had become rabid about father-son activities since then. “It’s just the two of us now,” Dad said once, when he’d had a bit too much to drink after work. “Just the two of us.”
Caleb shook his head and brushed away a tree branch before it could slap him in the face. The stinging in his eyes was a good reminder why he didn’t want to go down that particular rabbit hole.
A little while later, as he had expected, Caleb found himself at one of the bluffs. It was a solid expanse of rock, covered in creeping vines. The tendrils would be crawling with acrobat ants, which made them a nice place to stop because they’d keep the wasp population down in the region. Maybe I could try to find a nest. Maybe even a queen. That thought he discarded - it would be a prize, but the only way he’d ever add an ant queen to his collection would be if he found one dead. It felt different than taking a single insect and putting it on his board. Taking a queen could wipe out an entire colony.
When I finish college, I’ll get a whole terrarium. Then I can have living ones. That way I’ll get to enjoy my insects in peace and make sure I never ever have people invite themselves over. They’ll be all ‘oh, can I come over’ and I’ll be like ‘sure, don’t mind the ants.’ And then I’ll have alienated another person! That would be better and would make him feel better about what he did. Even the knowledge that he was killing bugs sapped the fun out of his hobby. Of course, that same hobby would also guarantee his adulthood was as lonely as his teenage years, so maybe…
“Gah!” Caleb cried, and kicked a rock at the bluff. It was stupid and childish, but it helped with the frustration. He leapt to the side to avoid the rebound.
He needn’t have bothered. The rock went straight through the vines instead of plinking off the bluff. Caleb froze, then slowly started inching toward the barrier. Is that a...cave? He reached out, brushing some vines away, only to reveal a cave on the side of the cliff. It went back a good twenty or thirty feet in a crevice easily large enough for him to walk through before vanishing into darkness.
Bet I could find something new in there. He groaned. Because amateur spelunking has such a high success rate. That can’t possibly go wrong. Oh, wait, I’m thinking of...actually, I don’t know anything where amateur is a good thing.
Ignoring the warnings of his own hindbrain, something he was exceptionally good at, Caleb flipped on his flashlight. While he wasn’t a big fan of being a scout, their motto of “Be Prepared” had stuck with him more firmly than he cared to admit. Summoning his courage, he headed inside.
The cave was large enough for him to walk upright, at least. I wonder if anyone’s ever even been in here before? It was possible he was the first human to ever notice this cave hiding behind the vines, that his were the first human footsteps in this cave. Who knew what could be ahead? Hell, if it went deep enough, he might discover an entirely new species - cave ecologies were often very isolated from the rest of the world.
That thought overrode the lingering fears of going spelunking alone, and Caleb pushed ahead. To his relief, the cave didn’t really branch off anywhere, so there was only a miniscule risk he’d find himself wandering in circles. It wasn’t long until he was plunged entirely into darkness aside from his flashlight.
“You have now left the domain of the sun,” Caleb said in his best announcer voice. He’d heard that line from…was it a webcomic? Or a blog? He couldn’t remember, and that train of thought was derailed as his heart started to beat faster. The primal fear of the dark still clung to him, and he wasn’t as certain as he’d been at the outset that this was a good idea. Given he’d been fairly certain this was a terrible idea, that was saying something. Just as he was about to turn around, he saw it.
It looked like an ant, but it wasn’t like any ant Caleb had seen before. It was large, nearly a foot from mandibles to thorax, and too brightly colored to be a normal cave dweller with its exoskeleton covered in gold and black swirls. Its eyes were wrong, too, looking more like something you’d see on a mammal than on an insect. It should have been frightening, but somehow, it was oddly cute. The gentle eyes, the way it moved awkwardly, like it was a newborn that hadn’t quite grown into its legs...it had an overall appearance of helplessness. It looked up at Caleb and chirped curiously.
Holy crap. “Well, hello there,” Caleb said. “What are you?”
The strange ant chirped again. I have to catch it. It was too big for his glass jar, but that didn’t matter. It also didn’t matter that his dad would refuse to let Caleb bring it back alive. Caleb would find a way, damn it. This wasn’t just a new species, this was an insect that shouldn’t be possible. Ants didn’t get this big, and certainly not in caves. Caleb reached out a tentative hand.
What the hell are you doing? he thought. He knew nothing about the thing. It could be venomous. It could be dangerous. It was a wild animal, and he was trying to pet it?
Much to his surprise, the ant didn’t recoil from his hand or lunge at it. Instead, it studied it curiously, then rolled over on its back and began to wave its legs in the air like a cat trying to get attention, chirping happily.
Screw it. Caleb ran his fingers over the thing’s belly. It made a sound halfway between a chirp and a purr, almost like a trill. “Oh my God, I have to find a way to keep you. What do you eat?”
Not that he expected the ant to answer. He didn’t expect the ant to respond at all, besides continuing to make happy little trills as Caleb gave it a belly rub. Its exoskeleton was softer than he expected, covered with fine hairs that probably served to keep off water but also made it unimaginably soft. Already Caleb wasn’t thinking about the enormity of the discovery, he was thinking about taking it for walks around the block, or letting it chase a laser pointer.
Then, abruptly, the ant fell silent and righted itself. It hissed in Caleb’s direction.
He froze, shying back and running his hand through his own hair.. “Woah? What’s wrong? Too many tummy rubs?”
And then he realized the ant wasn’t staring at him. It was staring over his shoulder.
Caleb spun, whipping the flashlight around, and came face to face with an oncoming monstrosity. It was a bipedal insect creature with four limbs, nearly as tall as Caleb was. The upper limbs ended in vicious stingers, and the lower limbs had grasping pincers. Instead of mandibles, it had tentacles growing from under its six beady eyes.
That flashlight saved Caleb’s life. The creature shied back, its eyes glowing in the brilliant light.. The ant screeched and began to run deeper into the cave. That seemed smart. Panicked by the monstrosity, Caleb followed.
This isn’t happening. The sound of Caleb’s feet pounding against the floor of the cave filled his ears. His heartbeat joined the sound, and the light swung wildly. He was gaining on the ant. A surge of adrenaline hit, and Caleb reached down to scoop it up. The ant trilled in confusion, and lacking anything else to do, Caleb put it on his head without breaking stride. He kept running, the ant now turning behind him and shrieking more and more. It's gaining on us! Caleb could almost imagine it saying.
Then the light ahead grew bright. Without warning, he was back out into the forest, into the sun.
The monstrosity skidded to a halt near the entrance of the cave, waving its tentacles and roaring but refusing to enter the sunlight. Caleb was fine with that. Caleb was fine with doing nothing but running at a breakneck pace, his new friend sitting on his head and now trilling in defiance. Darting forward, he wove in and out of the trees, turning to avoid tripping over rocks. At one point, his vision a fog of panic, he was thought he jumped a stream.
It wasn’t until his lungs started to burn that Caleb started to slow down. A few steps later, he dropped to the forest floor, panting.
After a few minutes of gasping, he took stock of his surroundings. With dawning horror, four realizations hit him. The first was that he’d somehow run through a bluff that stretched for a hundred miles in less than a day. The second was that the trees didn’t look like anything native to Earth, let alone Missouri. That alien impression was greatly aided by the fact that there were two suns overhead, one red and one yellow, which was number three. Multiple suns were kind of a big one. Finally, and most importantly, he had completely lost track of where he was in relation to the cave.
Panic seized him, and Caleb plucked the ant off his head with shaking hands and held it across his knees, on its back. It came to Caleb so naturally that he didn’t even think about the fact that his panic response was to cuddle a strange animal until after he had. The ant looked up at him with eyes full of warmth and gratitude. “Where the hell am I?” he asked.
In response, the ant started to purr.
Chapter 2
After a bit, the ant began to struggle. “I can’t just keep calling you ‘the ant,” Caleb said to it as he put it down. The ant looked up at him and clacked its mandibles. “Hmm. Don’t know if you’re a girl and or a boy ant. Although if you’re eusocial, those terms probably don’t matter anyway. You’re not a queen or you’d be in your hive, so...are you a soldier? Or a worker?”
Maybe it was Caleb’s imagination, but the ant seemed to be happier with the word soldier. That’s probably just wishful thinking. You need to get your priorities in order, man. You’re in a world with two suns, you should be flipping out right now! And yet, he felt strangely calm. Maybe it was just because the whole thing was so surreal. Or maybe it was just because he expected at any moment to wake up back in his tent with the story of a crazy dream. Or maybe you’ve just snapped, and any moment now you’re going to realize you’re completely barking mad. Caleb shook his head. If he was dreaming or crazy, there was no point trying to figure it out. Either he’d wake up, or he’d be put in a nice padded room and given pills until he could see things normally. “How about Antoinette?” he said.
The Ant - Antoinette - began to bob its head and marched over to Caleb’s hand, pressing its head against his palm until he started to scratch it. Might as well think of you as a she, he thought. Giving her a name seemed to have done the trick, and Antoinette was now trilling and purring happily against his hand. “So, Antoinette, don’t suppose you know if I’ve gone crazy or anything, do you?”
Antoinette was not particularly eager to respond. After some time scratching and spacing out, Caleb shook his head. “If this is all real, I have to start thinking of what comes next,” he said to Antoinette. “C’mon girl, let’s get moving.” As soon as Caleb stood, Antoinette reared onto her hind legs. Smiling, Caleb scooped her up and put her on his shoulder. Even though she was nearly as long as a cat, she weighed about half as much. That, plus the long years of scouts giving Caleb at least some muscles to work with, meant she could stay on his shoulder easily. “Okay. Let’s go back and see if that thing is gone from the cave, right?”
Immediately Antoinette’s demeanor changed. She began to shiver and rubbed against his cheek. “You can’t possibly understand me,” Caleb said. Antoinette continued to shiver and rub, and Caleb decided it had to be his imagination. Even if Antoinette seemed to be more along the lines of a small mammal in terms of intelligence than an ant, there was no way she had the intelligence of a human - and even if she did, she couldn’t speak or understand English. She was probably just picking up on his nerves over returning. As he turned to retrace his steps, he reached up and began to stroke her back. “Don’t worry. If it’s still there, I won’t be going anywhere near it.”
Antoinette’s shivers seemed to subside. “Totally a coincidence,” Caleb said with a nervous chuckle. “No way you understand anything I’m saying.”
The look she sent his way could easily be called reproachful.
The trees here really weren’t like anything he’d ever seen before. They towered over his head, looking more like giant, single ferns than they did like trees. There weren’t any visible roots, they all just shot out of the ground. At the top they branched oddly, feathering into individual strands that were covered with tiny leaves that grew away from the rest of the body of the plant, maximizing the sunlight its green blade could get. It was a relief to see those tiny leaves on the trees though - up until then, between that and the giant ant, he was beginning to worry he’d somehow been shrunk and was walking among giant blades of grass.
As soon as he had the thought, he couldn’t quite shake it, but too many other things were wrong for that to be the case. The dirt was still normal sized, not huge chunks like they would be if he’d shrunk coming over here, and there weren’t any obvious giant landmarks to indicate he was tiny. Still, it was a strange feeling, and he was relieved when he found the stream from earlier. That had to be normal sized. Water wouldn’t flow with that kind of babble if it was shrunk down, not unless it was hundreds of feet wide from his perspective.
The relief was almost immediately quashed when he realized that he didn’t recognize this part of the stream at all. He hadn’t exactly been taking in the scenery, but he still had expected to at least recognize something. Unfortunately, nothing about this part of where he was looked even remotely familiar. He grimaced. “Is this where we were?” he said aloud.
Antoinette trilled, an almost sad sound. It was like she was saying “I have no idea, you think I was paying attention?” Caleb had to laugh at himself. Already he was assigning actual full sentences to Antoinette. “Okay, well, rule one,” Caleb told her. “Head downstream. It will take me to somewhere eventually, and hopefully that somewhere will include someone who has the faintest idea what the hell is going on and how I can get back to the cave.”
Resolution made, he started to walk in that direction. It was a beautiful day here in...wherever this was, and thus far - joy upon joys - he hadn’t seen a single mosquito. As long as he was stuck in this weird dream or psychotic break or whatever was going on, he was going to enjoy it. He did see a few more traditional insects climbing along the fern-trees he’d marveled at before, which was nice. It helped him feel less like he was tiny walking in a giant world. As much as he wanted to, he resisted the urge to peer down for a closer look at them. Right now they were tiny specs climbing along in rows, and if he didn’t look too closely he could tell himself they were just normal ants. The moment he did, he was certain he’d notice things that would mark them of nothing from Earth, and that idea straight up terrified him.
“Yes, that’s right,” he said to the foot-long ant on his shoulder. “The terrifying thought is the insects here might be different. Crap on a stick, I am going insane.”
There was definitely a spring in his step as he walked, but not from how happy he was feeling. It was like every step carried a little bit...extra. It added to the surreal quality of everything. He’d noticed it before when he’d been running down the hill, but now that he was fully aware of how he was moving and a bit less panicked, he could really feel it. “Oh yeah,” he said. “Definitely dreaming.”
And since this is a dream... He reached up and carefully pried Antoinette from his shoulder. She chirruped in confusion. “Don’t worry, girl,” he said, placing her on the ground. “I’ll be right back. I just want to test something.”
Antoinette cocked her head at him, and Caleb grinned. Then, tensing up his legs, he kicked off the ground.
And went sailing through the air. “Oh my God!” he shouted. He’d had a decent high jump before, but this...it took him nearly ten feet into the air. He whooped in excitement and pumped his fist as he reached the apex of his jump. He could see over the fern trees! He could see smoke in the direction he was walking! He could see...he could see a bird.
It wasn’t like any bird he’d ever imagined. It was soaring through the air like a hawk, but its feathers were red and blue, and its face was more like a reptile’s than a bird’s. It looked almost like an archeopteryx, but without the claws on its wings, and with three massive feathers streaming out behind it. It wheeled in the air. It was beautiful.
Then gravity reminded him that, while he could jump high, he wasn’t able to fly. Caleb began to fall. The fall was faster than it should have been, given his leap. It felt like he was falling in normal gravity. Okay, this is it. I fall, and right before I hit the ground, I wake-
The thought was cut off when he slammed into the dirt beneath him. The impact drove the air from his lungs, which was the only thing that spared him from crying out in pain. He tasted blood, and his vision was obscured by black spots. Caleb could only whimper. He collapsed to the ground in a heap. What little of his brain was still working confirmed that he hadn't actually shattered his legs. The rest of it just screamed in pain. This isn’t a dream. That was now painfully clear. Dreams couldn’t possibly hurt this badly.
Antoinette walked up to him and nudged him with her mandibles. When he didn’t respond right away, she climbed onto his chest and began that rumbling trill. Caleb could only wheeze as he tried to catch his breath. Antoinette studied him, and a long tongue raced out of her mouth to lick his forehead. “Thanks,” he managed to grunt, glad she was so much lighter than a cat - otherwise she’d be crushing his chest. “No, really.”
It took him a few more minutes to stand again, and only when he was able to was he certain he hadn’t broken any bones. He took a few deep breaths, feeling an ache across his entire back. “I saw some smoke ahead,” he said to Antoinette, who was clawing at his leg. “I really hope that’s a town, and that they can help. And also that they have painkillers. I’d kill someone for some painkillers.”
Antoinette clacked her mandibles.
“No, I mean, it would have to be someone I didn’t like!”
Antoinette kept clawing his jeans and Caleb shook his head. “Mind walking alongside me for a bit? I need...I need a new back. And legs. Really just a new body. Phew. Give me some time to recover.”
Antoinette stopped clawing and trilled sadly. Again, Caleb was struck with the distinct impression she could understand him. But that doesn’t make sense, he thought. There’s no way she could. It’s just...insane.
“You there!”
The sudden shout nearly made Caleb scream, and he whirled to face the speaker. Antoinette did as well, hissing.
“You need to step away from the Kralant. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
The man was wearing something that looked like a military uniform from the eighteen hundreds, black and red with buttons that pinned up far on the left side of his body. He wore a cap that matched the color of his suit, and he stood with a rigid formality. For all that, he looked like he couldn’t be much older than Caleb.
More interestingly, however, the bird Caleb had seen earlier was perched on his shoulder. “You...want me to move away from Antoinette?” Caleb asked, trying to register what he was seeing.
“You...named it?” the soldier said, sounding incredulous. The bird on his shoulder peered at Antoinette hungrily, and Antoinette clacked her mandibles and hissed. She showed none of the fear she had towards the monstrosity in the cave. The soldier only frowned. “Who are you?”
“Caleb,” Caleb said, narrowing his eyes. “Who are you?”
“I am Ruzo, First Private of the Darkhold Omal. This is Silv.” The bird chirped at its name, although it didn’t take its eyes off Antoinette.
“I’m sorry, you called Antoinette a Kralant and seemed surprised I named her. Is Silv its name, or is it it's species?”
“He,” Ruzo said, stressing the word, “is a Silvtherix. I named him Silv.”
“Wow, very original name there.” Caleb couldn’t help himself. Something about Ruzo’s attitude was rubbing him the wrong way. It was his imperious demeanor, like he owned the place. Who the hell does he think he is?
“Says the boy who named a Kralant Antoinette,” Ruzo said, although he flushed a bit at mockery. “I need you to come with me, Caleb. These woods are forbidden. I thought you’d just gotten lost, but since you’re a Tamer...clearly you’re in violation of the Treaty. Put your hands behind your back.”
“Okay, first of all, working Antoinette’s species into her name is a brilliant pun. I didn’t just chop off part of the name and call it good. Second of all - put my hands behind my back?” Caleb asked. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
“First private of the Darkhold Omal,” Ruzo said, repeating his earlier words and with the same drilled in efficiency. “Who do you serve, Caleb?”
“Oh. Uh. Well...I’m with Troop One-Eighteen,” Caleb said, uncertain what else to say. “Boy Scouts, United States of America. And, private, I’m a Life Scout. So, yeah. Shove that up your craphole and spin on it.”
It was pretty clear that Ruzo had no idea what anything else Caleb said meant, but his eyes narrowed at the last sentence. “I don’t know who you serve. But clearly, someone needs to teach you manners.” He swung out his arm. “Silv! Attack!”
With a shriek that put a chill into Caleb’s bones, Silv took to the air.
In response, Antoinette let out a hiss of challenge.
Oh you’ve got to be kidding me, Caleb thought, squaring up.
I’ve definitely gone insane. But the pain in his back reminded him that insanity was much less certain than he’d previously believed. He could be absolutely certain of one thing, however - he had no idea what he was doing.
Silv shrieked as he swooped through the air, diving for Antoinette. Caleb couldn’t help but notice how dangerously curved those talons were, each ending in wicked barbs. It looked like they could tear through flesh like razorblades. “Antoinette, do...something!” Caleb shouted in panic.
As soon as the words left his lips, he felt something. It was almost like a tug on his skin, but it was a strange and alien feeling. Like part of him had been yanked away. Antoinette leapt to the side, snapping her mandibles. Silv passed through the space she had just vacated, his talons clutching only empty air. Confidence flashed through Ruzo’s eyes. “Do something? That’s the best you have? Silv is going to tear your Kralant apart.”
Caleb’s heart started to pound. In the games, the monsters would always faint at the end of fights, then there would be a heroic rush to town and the monster would be cured. Looking at those talons, it was hard to imagine this fight would be that harmless. “Antoinette, do something ranged this time!” Caleb said, frantically going through his pockets. That strange tug happened again, but Caleb ignored it. He needed to help.
A meme he’d seen the other day on his phone flashed through his mind as he frantically patted his pockets, modified for his current situation. “I’ve had Antoinette for only half a day, but if anything happens to her I’d kill everyone in this field and then myself.” Really, Caleb? You’re watching a pair of monsters fighting for their lives and the best you have are memes and vague commands? It’s not like he could do much else. He didn’t really have any kind of weapons on him. A simple Swiss army knife, too small to be used for actually fighting anyone. Not that he had any idea if he could actually bring himself to stab Ruzo. The guy was an ass, but Caleb had never hurt a fly.
Well. Metaphorically speaking. He’d squished plenty of flies in his day.
Besides that, he didn’t have much else. A can of bug spray. Some twine. A granola bar, still in its wrapper. A zippo lighter. A...wait, that’s it. Caleb looked back up to the fight as he pulled four of the items out of his pocket, trying desperately to get his hands shaking at another terrifying scream from Silv.
Silv was circling the fight, staring down at Antoinette with eyes full of fury. Ruzo was watching Caleb with a curious expression, as if he were trying to figure out what kind of stupid thing Caleb was going to do next. Oh, if you had any idea how stupid I was about to be, you’d be...very...uh...shocked? Antoinette was on the ground, watching Silv carefully.
“Now!” Ruzo shouted.
Silv screamed and dove towards Antoinette. The Kralant had never seemed so small before, but she held her ground, her mandibles pointing towards the sky.
Then, the moment Silv got close, Antoinette let loose a spray. It was white and stringy, almost like spider silk. Silv flapped his wings hard, letting a gust of air blow the strands away. Where they touched the dirt they sizzled like acid. Caleb’s eyes widened. “Holy crap, what was that?”
Antoinette trilled happily and rose up on her hind legs, letting loose another barrage of caustic strands. Silv took to the air, getting out of range, and screeched in fury at having its attack interrupted. “You really don’t know?” Ruzo said, his eyes hard. “You’re an absolute moron, aren’t you?”
“Yeah? Well, would a moron be doing this?” Caleb responded. It wasn’t exactly the witty repartee he’d been hoping for. With the distraction the battle had provided him, he’d managed to tie the zippo around the bug spray and held up his prize.
“...it seems one would,” Ruzo said, his forehead creasing. “What the hell is that supposed to be?”
Silv dove down towards Antoinette again, banking to dodge the spray of acidic webbings. In response, Caleb flicked the zippo opened and stepped forward. A small flame sprang to life, and Ruzo’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?” he shouted. Caleb ignored it. He pressed down on the top of the bug spray.
The fine mist met the flame of the zippo and flamed to life. Silv screeched in sudden fear and pulled back, still several yards from reaching Antoinette. Antoinette whipped her head around and gave Caleb a curious chirp. “That’s right!” Caleb shouted, pointed the improvised weapon at Ruzo. “You think you’re going to hurt Antoinette? I will literally set you on fire.”
Ruzo’s eyes were wide, and Silv flew over to his outstretched arm, landing on it like it was a tree branch. The massive bird looked like it shouldn’t be something Ruzo could hold, but his arm never wavered. “You...are an Artificer? I should have known…” he trailed off, studying Caleb up and down.
“Yeah, that’s right. I’m an Artificer,” Caleb said, hoping the term was descriptive enough to be able to fake what he thought it meant. “I just built a flamethrower. Back down, buddy, or I swear to God I’m going to set you up like a cheap firework.”
Of course, it was a total bluff. Ruzo was a good fifteen feet away. The flame from this thing could go a foot, max. If Ruzo called him on it, Caleb would find himself having to reveal the limits of his homemade weapon very, very quickly. And when he did, what would happen? Would Ruzo send that damn bird after Antoinette again? Or would he send Silv straight after Caleb, trying to tear out his eyes?
Oh man. This is really, really looking bad for me.
“I’m surprised, Artificer,” Ruzo said, reaching up to stroke Silv under the beak. The bird leaned into the touch and chirped. “Entering the battle so early? You must have something serious you’re hiding. Something the Darkhold Olam will want to know. Well, if you wish to make this a test of that…” Silv began to crawl up his arm until their heads were butting together. “I’ll be more than happy to oblige.”
“Yo, you’re talking a pretty big game for someone who’s about to get his ass set on fire,” Caleb said, but the brave words couldn’t stop the tremor in his hands. “Why don’t you stop what you’re doing and go away? I don’t want to hurt you.”
Ruzo laughed, a mocking sound, as Silv began to work around to his back. The bird started to wrap wings around Ruzo’s face, and the spots on his wings matched up perfectly with Ruzo’s eyes. “Don’t worry about that, little Artificer. I promise, I’m in absolutely no danger.”
Their forms began to glow. Caleb took a step back, reflexively pressing down on the button for the bug spray. The flame seemed almost dark when compared to the immense light pouring out both soldier and monster as they began to rise into the air. “Antoinette?” Caleb said, shaking so badly he thought he might fall over. “I think I’d like to wake up now.”
Antoinette cooed in a sound that trembled with fear.
The glow vanished. Ruzo was gone. So was Silv. In their place was a single being, one that combined traits of both monster and man. Ruzo’s hair was now the bright feathers of the bird, his hands and feet ended in the wicked talons that the bird had shown in its diving sweeps at Antoinette, and two immense wings jutted from his back. Worst of all were the eyes, however. Ruzo’s normal two human eyes peered out at Caleb, but above those were the exact same eyes that had adorned Silv’s head. “So that is your flame, little man?” Ruzo said, and his voice had an odd quality to it, some kind of echo, like it was being spoken through two mouths. “I thought you Artificers claimed you could match am Tamer’s power. Looks like you’re just another worm.”
“Uh…shit,” Caleb said, looking down at Antoinette. “Do you know how to do that?”
This time there was no imagining it. Antoinette shook her head, and there was real fear in her eyes.
“Yeah, me either.” Caleb dropped to one knee and held out a hand. “Get on.”
Antoinette leaped onto Caleb’s arm and wrapped her legs around as Ruzo took to the air.
“So, Artificer,” Ruzo said, every word laced with mockery. “What will you do now?”
Fortunately, for the first time since he’d arrived here, Caleb knew exactly what to do.
Screaming in fear, Caleb turned and ran away from the four-eyed taloned bird-human hybrid that was rising into the sky. And as he did, the small part of his mind that couldn’t stop from being sarcastic even now couldn’t help but point out that it was totally unfair – none of the games allowed you to do that. Where’s the overly drawn out tutorial when you really need it?
Want to read more? Why not pick it up now?
Amazon US Link - UK | CA | AU | DE | MX | JP | IN | BR | FR | ES | IT | NL
And if you want to see more of my work, you can do so at /hydrael_writes
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Filme gratuite legate de hiking & escalada de la Banff Mountain Film Festival

Banff Mountain Film Festival Films Online for Free
List curated by Lianne Caron
RJ Ripper
(2018, 20 min)
Kids and bikes; wherever you are in the world, they go together. The chaotic streets of
Kathmandu may not seem like a typical breeding ground for world-class mountain bikers, but
then again nothing is typical about Rajesh (RJ) Magar. Since learning to ride on a beat-up
clunker, to becoming the four-time National Champion at age 21, RJ’s story is one of boundless
childhood dreaming and unstoppable determination, forged from junkyard scraps and tested
on the rugged trails of the mighty Himalaya.
https://vimeo.com/275506930
BAWLI BOOCH - Downhill Biking India
(2017, 5 min)
4Play is India’s first adventure film company. A fun short film with a catchy song that will make
you smile. Downhill Mountain Biking in Manali (India), Himalayan cultural nuances and a
catchy Bollywood song that will make your foot tap and keep your eyes glued to the screen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvExzRrB9Fg
Speak To Me Softly
(2019, 6 min)
Experience fear and emotion alongside climber Jenny Abegg as she ascends Moonlight
Buttress while fighting the self-criticism and doubt from that little voice we all have in the back
of our heads.
https://rockandice.com/videos/climbing/speak-to-me-softly/?cn-reloaded=1
Life of Pie | Pizza and Bikes Can Fix Anything
(2019, 11 min)
In 2002, mountain bikers and entrepreneurs Jen Zeuner and Anne Keller moved to Fruita,
Colorado, in search of cheap rent, world-class single track, and free time to ride. Over 15 years
later, the two unconventional women have helped reshape one of the state’s most
conservative towns, uniting the community through advocacy, inclusivity, and damn good
pizza.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7yg2PO07u8
Loved By All: The Story of Apa Sherpa
(2018, 14 min)
Every spring the summit of Mount Everest drews people from around the world. But in its
shadow live the Sherpa, a resilient, religious people, who, despite the riches surrounding the
highest peak on earth, are still quite poor and uneducated. A child of the Khumbu, Apa Sherpa
climbed Everest 21 times. Pulled away at the age of 12 to work as a high altitude porter, like so
many others, he would leave his family for months, risking his life on the mountain. Through
his work at the Apa Sherpa Foundation, he aims to create a different future for his people.
https://vimeo.com/270499256
Curated by Lianne Caron
Shepherdess of The Glaciers
(2016, 74 min)
A beautiful cultural film that will sweep you away to an exotic far away location. Way up in
Ladakh—at 16,500 feet, somewhere in the Gya-Miru Valley—lives a shepherdess with a flock of
250 sheep and pashmina goats on a huge deserted rock-strewn mountain. They are her only
companions, except for the troubling presence of wolves and a snow leopard; her only link
with the outside world is a little transistor...
https://vimeo.com/channels/lesfilmsdeladecouverte/147091400
Artifishal | The Fight to Save Wild Salmon
(2019, 80 min)

Artifishal is a film about people, rivers, and the fight for the future of wild fish and the
environment that supports them. It explores wild salmon’s slide toward extinction, threats
posed by fish hatcheries and fish farms, and our continued loss of faith in nature.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdNJ0JAwT7I
The Last Honey Hunter
(2017, 36 min)
In the steep mountain jungles of Nepal’s Hongu river valley, members of the isolated Kulung
culture have risked their lives for generations scaling dangerous cliffs to collect wild and
toxic honey. Deep and dark, the film glides through a misty world of forest spirits, dreams,
and woodsmoke to share the story of the leader of the harvest and his final journey.
https://vimeo.com/201695311
The Frozen Road
(2018, 25 min)
Self-shot and edited whilst cycling around the world, this short film charts my winter journey
into the Canadian Arctic as I completed my bike ride up the American continent. Compelled by
Jack London’s assertion, that ‘any man who is a man can travel alone’, I sought an adventure of
perfect solitude. Yet, as I came to realise, the harsh truths of travelling in such a formidable
environment were a long way from the romantic images I’d held of this land. The Frozen Road
is an honest reflection on my solo trip; of the wonder, terror and frustration I experienced when
riding through the unforgiving emptiness of one of the world's 'last great wildernesses'.
https://vimeo.com/252863313
Blood Road
(2017, 92 min)
Rebecca Rusch’s search for connection. In this award-winning film, Rebecca Rusche cycles
1,930km along the Ho Chi Minh Trail through the jungles of Vietnam. The goal is to reach the
site where her father, a US Air Force pilot, was shot down in Laos more than 40 years ago.
https://www.redbull.com/int-en/films/blood-road
Curated by Lianne Caron
Billder
(2018, 6 min)
Bill McLane is a trail builder. What started as a hobby between forest firefighting seasons
became a career which has helped shape the mountain bike scene on Vancouver Island. Billder
takes a closer look at the craft and dedication behind the trails we sometimes take for granted.
It shows that when people pursue their passion, we're all better for it
https://vimeo.com/378218839
Up To Speed
(2018, 20 min)
Some climbers perceive speed climbing as a fringe activity, but its inclusion in the 2020
Olympics means it’s now being taken seriously. Film-maker Zachary Barr takes an in-depth
look into the sport.
https://www.redbull.com/int-en/episodes/up-to-speed-reel-rock-s05-e01
Okpilik - Inuit Nunangat Taimaannganit
(2019, 4 min)
Mary Kudlak talks about fishing in Okpilik lake near Ulukhaktok as part of the Inuit
Nunangat Taimannganit video project.
https://www.itk.ca/inuit-nunangat-taimannganit/video_archive/okpilik/
Dark Peak Fell Runners
(2019, 17 min)
The Dark Peak Fell Runners base themselves in Sheffield, but their playground is the Peak
District National Park where they weave tracks through the fields, peat bogs and rocky
outcrops to create a tapestry of eccentricity, endeavour and endurance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwTp28jbTP8

Chasing a Trace
(2019, 21 min)
This is a love story between a badass woman scientist and one of the most elusive wild
animals on earth set in the snowy high mountains of Western Canada.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQN16cJ4mLk
Climb Your Dreams
(2019, 2 min)
The rush of life in the city inspires a dream for an escape. The nature of reality is questioned
by the contrast of what we do for a living.
https://vimeo.com/362028659
Curated by Lianne Caron
Full Moon
(2019, 6 min)
Closing lifts and the setting sun mark the end of the action for most skiers. But not for Max
Kronech and Jochen Mesle. While ski towns fall asleep they head into the mountains to
see them in a new light.
https://vimeo.com/362028659
Good Morning
(2018, 4 min)
Every day, skier Richard Permin falls into his mundane morning routine. Right after getting out
of bed, he clicks on his skis and rides down the snow covered rooftops of Avoriaz.
https://vimeo.com/305915054
The Imaginary Line
(2019, 10 min)
In an act of political solidarity, a team from Mexico and the U.S.A assemble with the sole
purpose of establishing a slackline that crosses the border between them. In a world that is
constantly tearing us apart, they come together to cross an imaginary line and tell a
different story.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkG7koiNiq4
Age of Ondra
(2018, 47 min)
On the heels of a historic 5.15d ascent, we follow climber Adam Ondra from his home in the
Czech Republic, across Europe to North America, as he innovates new training methods,
establishes upper echelon first ascents, and attempts to be the first person to send 5.15 on
the first try.
Part one: https://www.redbull.com/int-en/episodes/age-of-ondra-part-1-reel-rock-s5-e2
Part two: https://www.redbull.com/int-en/episodes/age-of-ondra-part-2-reel-rock-s5-e3
Part three: https://www.redbull.com/int-en/episodes/age-of-ondra-part-3
Thabang
(2019, 13 min)
Thabang Madiba somehow found his way into the world of trail running and in the last few
years has become everyone’s favourite in the South African trail scene.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0NR4Qqje4A
The Redstone Pack
(2018, 5 min)
What began as an impromptu leap into the world of dog sledding, Aaron Natoniewski’s
methodical approach to the sport and understanding of his dogs has inspired a team of
sled hounds unlike any other.
https://vimeo.com/293860988
Curated by Lianne Caron

We Are Abel
(2018, 8 min)
We Are Abel features the story of a Gwich’in father who is standing against reckless plans
to industrialize the Arctic Refuge and not only fight for his culture’s existence, but also for
his son’s ability to know that culture fully.
https://vimeo.com/341401643
The River’s Call
(2019, 8 min)
The River’s Call follows seven kayakers through the deep canyons and challenging whitewater
of the Rio Apurimac the farthest source of the Amazon in the heart of the Andes.
https://vimeo.com/325319778
The Ladakh Project
(2019, 13 min)
Seven days, three rivers, one woman. This is the story of Nouria Newman’s solo kayak
adventure in the Indian Himalaya.
https://www.redbull.com/int-en/ladakh-project-nouria-newman-kayaks-india-rivers-interactive-s
t ory
The Flip
(2019, 3 min)
French skydiver Remi Angeli must face his fears in order to explore new expressions of
movement while BASE jumping in Mexico. On the other side of his fear he discovers life in
its purest form.
https://vimeo.com/390490875
Kai Jones - Far Out
(2018, 6 min)
Eleven-year-old Kai Jones isn’t old enough to go to the movies alone or order a sandwich at the
pub, but in the mountains age doesn’t matter. He is following in his family’s ski tracks...right
into backflips and tricks off of cliffs.
https://www.tetongravity.com/video/ski/11-year-old-skis-jackson-holes-gnarliest-terrain
Every Mystery I’ve Lived
(2019, 24 min)
At the end of 2017, rookie slopestyle MTB rider Emil Johansson was on top of the world. In his
first full season, he was crowned FMB World Tour champion as a teenager only for his world
to crumble around him with a mystery illness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnicW-F52n4
Eclipse
(2015, 32 min)
Photographer Reuben Krabbe is someone captivated by the solar eclipse, and so in March 2015
he set out to take a photo of a skier during this infrequent occurrence in the northern
Curated by Lianne Caron
archipelago of Svalbard, Norway. The story of this demanding expedition was documented by
Salomon in partnership with Switchback Entertainment and won Best Film: Snow Sports at the
Banff Mountain Film Festival.
http://tv.salomon.com/story/eclipse#overlay
Charge
(2019, 5 min)
Four top freeskiers and a world champion drone pilot are dropped at Chatter Creek, BC for
one week. Their instructions: charge as hard as you can every day.
http://tv.salomon.com/story/charge#overlay

Liv Along the Way
(2018, 23 min)
Since she first summited Mont Blanc as a teen, Liv Sansoz knew she would make her life in the
mountains. She was twice crowned World Champion in sport climbing, and eventually
expanded her professional horizons to mixed climbing, ski mountaineering, and base jumping.
In 2017, at 40 years old, Liv set out from her base in Chamonix, France to attempt to climb all
82 4000m peaks in the European Alps in a single year. As she’s learned several times
throughout her life, things don’t always go as planned.
http://tv.salomon.com/channel/hiking-mountaineering#overlay/livalongtheway
Frozen Mind
(2018, 33 min)
Together with his old friend Pierre Hourticq, snowboarder Victor de le Rue tries to write a new
story in the iconic mountains near Chamonix. Frozen Mind is not just a freeride film, it is a
story of friendship and a journey of discovery as the two men take unique paths in order to
conquer the same objectives.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axNnKy-jfWw
The 7 Stages of Blank
(2019, 42 min)
Blank Collective films takes you on a journey through The 7 Stages of Blank, a lighthearted
look into the bond that develops around the sport of skiing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSK-f5ES0i4
Circle of the Sun
(2019, 5 min)
Steep mountains, the ocean, the sun, and the aurora borealis. One rotation of the sun high in
the Arctic on skis equals one day of magic.
https://vimeo.com/344890300
Curated by Lianne Caron
Safe Haven
(2018, 8 min)
Founded on the belief that everyone is welcome, Memphis Rox opened a climbing gym to be
at the center of the city's revitalization. Watch and if you are interested to learn more about
Memphis Rox.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYjVzoxIkdI
Camel Finds Water
(2019, 8 min)
Trevor found the hull of an abandoned fishing boat in a field. He brought it home and built it
back to a sea-worthy state over the course of a summer. Then, he took it on its maiden voyage
to British Columbia in search of waves.
https://vimeo.com/328771728
This Land
(2019, 10 min)
Runner and advocate Faith E. Briggs used to run through the streets of Brooklyn every morning.
Now, she’s running 150 miles through three U.S. National Monuments that lay in the thick of the
controversy around public lands.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3dxCJK5BaQ&list=RDCMUC4qZJvaF8JKHFJzC_6lXWbg
& start_radio=1&t=5
Beneath the Ice
(2019, 16 min)
Canadian Will Gadd uses his unparalleled ice climbing skills and knowledge to lead a
scientific exploration into uncharted territory inside of the Greenland ice sheet.
https://www.redbull.com/ca-en/films/beneath-the-ice

Aziza
(2018, 6 min)
Set in the streets of Bou Tharar and the wide, craggy valleys of the lower Atlas mountains,
Aziza is the story of a young woman who has thrived in the world of ultra-running and how she
has become a role model for other up-and-coming athletes in Morocco.
https://vimeo.com/286846186
Standing Man
(2019, 13 min)
Cyclist Payson McElveen attempts to break the current fastest known time on the grueling
160 km White Rim Road in Canyonlands National Park.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La8-Qqio0rU
Curated by Lianne Caron
Eli
(2019, 5 min)
As a rancher growing up in the rugged northeast corner of the Navajo Nation with no electricity
or running water, Eli Neztsosie learned through years of work what it meant to rely on
discipline and endurance. Now he relies on these same skills, running long distances— striving
every day, in his words, to be better than he was the day before.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l16tuTE99vA
A Nordic Skater
(2018, 5 min)
A Nordic Skater is the very first film about this little known sport. It features Per Sollerman, a
photographer who has been skating on frozen lakes and fjords for the past 10 years. During 6
captivating minutes, the viewer is transported to the region of Oslo to have a peek at a story of
a man who uses every sense he has to travel on thin ice.
https://vimeo.com/297673643
Out on a Limb
(2019, 21 min)
Engineer Kai Lin teams up with climber Craig DeMartino to design a badass prosthetic foot,
which if they succeed won’t just level the playing field, but will dish up, if not superpowers, then
a real sense of empowerment, which is almost the same thing.
https://mojagear.com/videos/2019/08/16/limb-prosthetic-climbing-craig-demartino/
Spirit
(2019, 20 min)
An intimate story of longing and belonging in India’s sacred mountains. Spirit explores what
it takes to make a home in a remote community in the thralls of change.
https://vimeo.com/369505425
Solstice
(2019, 4 min)
A skier’s tribute to the shortest day of the year when the sun arcs low over the horizon and
the ice crystals linger in the air. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTPovRc6OoM
Narics
(2019, 19 min)
In the midst of Kosovo, an area that’s been haunted by war and ethical conflicts, Elias Elhardt
discovers the small ski resort Brezovica.Snowboard enthusiast Hamdi is one of the locals
that now wants to breathe new life into this special place. He guides Elias through this
forgotten world and reflects on the question, how a future can be built if the past still weighs
so heavily.
https://vimeo.com/383514704
Curated by Lianne Caron

Valley of the Moon
(2018, 21 min)
Valley of the Moon explores the importance of climbing as a way to cross cultural barriers,
build friendship and chase adventure in one of the most breathtaking regions of the earth.
https://vimeo.com/299057800
The Legend of Rafael
(2019, 7 min)
A beautiful story about the power of two wheels and a community built through bicycling. After
a devastating breakup, Rafael finds solitude and restoration on the open road, pedaling his way
to emotional health from Mexico City to northern Colorado. With just $500 to his name, he
spearheads a revolution to help the underprivileged members of his new neighborhood the best
way he knows how—repairing their bicycles. https://vimeo.com/333580941
Over Time - Sammy C
(2019, 7 min)
Filmed purley in the heart of the BC backcountry, Over Time - Sammy C features the best
shots from a full winter with pro skier Sammy Carlson.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVXJ2E41_xE
Wallmapu
(2018, 6 min)
The Pehuenche people of present-day Chile speak Mapudungun: ‘the language of the land.’
This land, their universe, is known as Wallmapu. Two skiers enter, into a breathtaking creation
of ancient Araucaria trees, looming volcanoes, and windblown snow.
https://vimeo.com/306295979
Chasing the Sublime
(2018, 6 min)
Why do we put ourselves into the path of discomfort and risk? What drives us to get too cold
and too tired, to battle with fear, in the name of adventure? Follow the originators of The
Outdoor Swimming Society, ‘swim twins’ Kate Rew and Kari Furre, in this hauntingly beautiful
glimpse at the physicality of UK cold water swimming, as two friends set out to chase the
sublime. https://vimeo.com/292071219
The Running Pastor
(2019, 8 min)
Sverri is a local Pastor and avid runner who uses his time on the trails to work through not
only his own personal conflicts, but the conflicts of others he often is burdened with.
https://vimeo.com/340472874
Curated by Lianne Caron
BMX Nigeria
(2019, 13 min)
BMX street is one of the most frequently evolving sports in the world and, in Nigeria, a group
of local riders are reinventing riding at a grassroots level.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDZpsjtfYuY
The Shepherdess
(2018, 6 min)
A brutal drought is gripping the Southwest and the Navajo reservation especially hard,
threatening traditional shepherds and a way of life going back generations.
https://www.katiefalkenberg.com/#/shepherdess/
Silence
(2018, 18 min)
What does it take to climb the world’s first 9c? Let’s find out in Silence, a movie by Bernardo
Giménez. It shows what preceded the afternoon of September 3, 2017 when Adam Ondra, a
professional rock climber and currently one of the best climbers in the world, made a little piece

of climbing history when he climbed his project in the spectacular Hanshelleren Cave in
Norway. The route, later named Silence, received a new grade of 9c and became the hardest
route in the world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRTNHDd0gL8
Ice & Palms
(2018, 32 min)
The documentary follows skiers Jochen Mesle and Max Kroneck on their most ambitious
ski tour yet. A 100% self powered adventure from southern Germany all the way to the
mediterranean sea.
https://vimeo.com/319200353
Sacred Strides
(2018, 12 min)
Bears Ears National Monument is a public land under threat. In 2018, a group of Native
American tribes put their differences aside and ran 1280 km to Bears Ears to send a message
of unity.
https://vimeo.com/283490560
Hourya
(2018, 10 min)
Fly Above the ancient sands of the Moroccan coastline. Let your spirit soar with lightness
and the feeling of Hourya.
https://vimeo.com/289029793
Curated by Lianne Caron
FAST HORSE
(2018, 14 min)
FAST HORSE follows the return of the Blackfoot bareback horse racing tradition in a new form:
the Indian Relay. Siksika horseman Allison Red Crow struggles to build a team with
second-hand horses and a new jockey, Cody Big Tobacco, to take on the best riders in the
Blackfoot Confederacy at the Calgary Stampede.
https://vimeo.com/358170802
The Moment
(2017, 74 min)
In the backwoods of British Columbia, three small but dedicated crews of adventure
seekers were quietly changing the course of a sport and carving their paths in history. The
Moment captures the birth and success of the original freeride mountain bike movement.
https://www.redbull.com/int-en/films/the-moment
For the Love of Mary
(2018, 6 min)
When 97-year-old runner George Etzweiler dons his lucky ancient green running shorts, he’s
not just running to the summit of Mt Washington, he carries something special with him: the
memory of his late wife of 68 years.
https://vimeo.com/273611679
Break on Through
(2017, 26 min)
Margo Hayes, a little-known 19 year old from Boulder Colorado, has moved to Europe to train
and climb with the goal of succeeding on two of the most iconic 5.15s in France and Spain. But
by pushing her body and mind to the absolute limit, she risks injury and failure in her quest to
be the first.
https://www.redbull.com/int-en/episodes/break-on-through-reel-rock-s04-e01
Life of Glide
(2017, 16 min)
Big Mountain rider Jeremy Jones dissects his lifelong passion for the simple sacred feeling

he calls “The Glide.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edYSL913rHI
Brothers of Climbing
(2017, 7 min)
How can you be what you can’t see? Mikhail Martin, co-founder of Brothers of Climbing said, “I
literally typed, ‘Are there black climbers?’ in Google ... someone said, ‘black people don’t
climb.'”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LWq5s-s4pY
Curated by Lianne Caron
Ride of the Dead
(2017, 12 min)
Enter into the world of Oaxacan mountain bike culture during Mexico’s famous annual
celebration known as Dia De Los Muertos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLXR86vHUNU
Holocene
(2018, 12 min)
Join two riders from Japan as they dive into the cultural history of the dolomites clattering
up Via Ferratas and shredding down couloirs along the way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8Yqf9Mn_ZY
Beautiful Idiot
(2018, 15 min)
Beautiful Idiot takes you on a ride through the mindset and motivations of those who feel
driven to pursue greatness, how it can feel to fall short, and the consequences of reaching a
lofty goal when the struggle to get there has defined you for so long. Featuring professional
freeride mountain bike rider Brett Rheeder.
https://vimeo.com/282402702
Perspectives | India
(2018, 5 min)
Professional mountain bike athlete and artist Micayla Gatto adventures to the Indian
Himalayas to experience the culture with her unique artistic perception.
https://freehubmag.com/videos/perspectives-india
Inside the Indus - A Pakistani Odyssey
(2017, 27 min)
An international team of kayakers heads to Pakistan to attempt a descent of the fabled Rondu
Gorge, on the Indus river. Hidden behind a wall of political and security factors meant it had
been eight years since the last expedition had ventured into the gorge.
https://www.facebook.com/twelveproductions/videos/inside-the-indus-a-pakistani-odyssey/22
4 8154562075004/
Skier Vs Drone
(2018, 4 min)
2018 Olympic Bronze Medalist skier racer, Victor Muffat-Jeandet, faces off against 2x World
Drone Racing Champion, Jordan Temkin, in a dual GS race to see who is the fastest down
the mountain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn_Fx2MwCB0
Curated by Lianne Caron
The Faction Collective Presents: La Grave
(2018, 17 min)
Sam Anthamatten and Johnny Collinson travel to La Grave to push the limits of steep skiing
and discover what makes La Grave so unique - a mythic freeride location where time stops.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkinG08IoKk

Children of the Columbia: A Skier’s Odyssey
(2018, 20 min)
A cultural ski journey up the historically-charged waters of the Columbia River in interior
British Columbia.
https://vimeo.com/330851467
The Sky Piercer
(2018, 44 min)
Snow athletes Sam Smoothy, Xavier De Le Rue, Nadine Wallner and Fraser McDougall take
on the challenge of skiing down New Zealand’s highest mountain, the notorious Mount Cook
(Aoraki). Will extreme weather and icy conditions defeat them?
https://www.redbull.com/int-en/films/the-sky-piercer-2019-23-10
The Lorax Project
(2018, 35 min)
Six friends embark on a determined quest to climb and then BASE jump ‘The Lorax’, a
formidable climb in remote western Tasmania. Surrounded by some of the most pristine
wilderness in all of Australia, they contend with extreme weather and rugged terrain, relying on
each other’s skills and a bit of humour to reach their goal. https://vimeo.com/310331133
Escape
(2018, 8 min)
JaBig, a Montreal-based DJ, buys a bike on a whim and decides to attempt to beat the record
for the longest continuous bike ride in a single country. What’s more, he’ll ride a single-speed,
fixed-gear bicycle and finish in the winter, approaching the Arctic Ocean by way of Canada’s
northernmost continental hamlet, Tuktoyaktuk in the Northwest Territories.
https://www.mec.ca/en/explore/mec-documentary-escape
Facing Sunrise
(2017, 8 min)
While dealing with one of the darkest times of her life, processing family trauma and recovering
from injury, Azzah overhears a conversation around the question, “what do you want to do
before you die?” Inspired and energized, she rushes home and begins her bucket list. Although
she has never seen herself as much of an adventurer, she realizes she’s capable of more than
she ever imagined.
https://www.mec.ca/en/explore/facing-sunrise
Curated by Lianne Caron
Ascending Afghanistan *warning graphic content
(2016, 44 min)
Follow the first female Afghan mountaineering team as they navigate their first expedition and
fight for recognition as athletes amongst their country, culture, and families.
https://video.vice.com/en_us/video/vice-impact-ascending-afghanistan-rising-women/587674b
f f0d3f0d206a3cec6?latest=1
Brotherhood of Skiing
(2018, 10 min)
Since 1973, the National Brotherhood of Skiers has overcome barriers by bringing soul,
smiles and a party to the mountain.
https://vimeo.com/318824416
How to Run 100 Miles
(2018, 28 min)
The odds were stacked against Jayson Sime early in life: poverty, homelessness, dyslexia,
bullying. But he learned to fight. In 2017, he entered his first 100-mile mountain
ultramarathon, betting on his lifelong resilience to carry him to the finish line.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC7Lh4opLsc

Blue Heart
(2018, 44 min)
The Balkan Peninsula is home to the last wild rivers in Europe. However, a deluge of more
than 3,000 proposed hydropower developments threaten to destroy the culture and ecology of
this forgotten region. Blue Heart, now in its first digital release, documents the battle for the
largest undammed river in Europe, Albania’s Vjosa, the effort to save the endangered Balkan
lynx in Macedonia, and the women of Kruščica, Bosnia and Herzegovina, who are
spearheading a months-long, 24/7 protest to protect their community’s only source of
drinking water.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhmHByZ0Xd8
Carving Landscapes
(2018, 6 min)
Through the inspiring legacy of Mary Vaux we will venture onto the Illecillewaet
Glacier, reenacting her research and her mountain travel in the restriction of Victorian
dresses. https://vimeo.com/299359466
The Passage
(2018, 25 min)
In 1974, my 20-year-old parents and uncle Andy built their own canoes, launched them into the
Pacific, and became some of the first people in modern history to canoe from Washington to
Alaska up the Inside Passage. My brother and I grew up paddling those wooden canoes in the
Virginia rivers and the 1974 adventure became a legend in our family - shaping who we’ve
become, how we view our parents, and how our parents view themselves. In the summer of
Curated by Lianne Caron
2017, we renovated those canoes and with our aging parents completed their 1974 journey. The
Passage is a story about growing up, growing old, and the wild places that define us.
https://vimeo.com/272632802
Grizzly Country
(2018, 12 min)
After serving in the Vietnam War, author and eco-warrior Doug Peacock spent years alone in the
Wyoming and Montana wilderness observing grizzly bears. This time in the wild changed the
course of his life. With the protection of Yellowstone grizzlies now under threat, Peacock
reflects on the importance of habitat and why he continues to fight for wild causes.
https://vimeo.com/300829054
The Botanist
(2016, 20 min)
After the fall of the Soviet Union, Tajikistan, a former Soviet Socialist Republic, plunged into a
devastating civil war. A famine struck the mountainous region of the Pamir where Raïmberdi,
a passionate and ingenious botanist, built his own hydroelectric station to help his family
survive through the crisis.
https://vimeo.com/267165412
Surviving the Outback
(2018, 57 min)
Could you survive alone across hundreds of kilometers of remote outback for a whole
month, trekking and sailing on a makeshift raft, with nothing but a time capsule of antique
stuff from 1932? Mike wasn’t sure he could pull it off either!
https://tubitv.com/movies/497254/surviving_the_outback
The Mirnavator
(2017, 11 min)
Ultra-runners overcome obstacles on every trail. In this film, Force of Nature Mirna
Valerio overcomes the negative voices that don’t believe she belongs in the sport.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5-CSQcYeXk
Ski Photographer

(2018, 9 min)
Drawn to the mountains in search of the ski bum lifestyle, Oskar Enander had no intention of
ever becoming a photographer. Is his affinity for cold stark places driven by his color
blindness? Or is it place that has formed his aesthetic?
https://vimeo.com/300544856
Curated by Lianne Caron
My Mom Vala
(2017, 10 min)
Life has a way of putting us where we need to be. For Vala, that’s in both Greenland – where
she works at her family’s fishing lodge – and Reykjavík, where she teaches her daughter how to
do it all on her own, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERjQ7hcVxus
AMO
(2017, 7 min)
Amo; in the native Rapa Nui Language means, to carry on ones shoulders. Easter Island is a
place known the world across in myth and legend, but the people who call it home and the
unique culture that they embody is often overlooked as the most valuable piece of the islands
estranged story. In this short film, Heu Rapa Haoa, native born Rapa Nui and one of 800
remaining people left in the world who speak his native tongue fluently, tells his story of the
island, the stone heads that brought Easter Island renowned, and in what he sees for his future
and in that the future of his people the culture that defines them.
https://vimeo.com/254442752
Surface
(2018, 7 min)
In a photographic niche defined by familiar angles, Ben Thouard is driven by his desire to
create something original in surf photography.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeONe9teVWw
The Frenchy
(2018, 14 min)
Jacques is an 82-year-old badass athlete, but the real story is how he inspires us with his
contagious love of life, epic tales of survival and his ability to counter aging through
laughter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dhfipv8LXRg
Dreamride 3
(2018, 6 min)
Inspired by a Dr. Seuss narrative, this mountain bike film is sure to take you places like no
other. https://vimeo.com/266377015
Treeline
(2018, 40 min)
Through a cinematic exploration of three extraordinary tree communities, Treeline brings forests
alive on screen, illuminating the reciprocal bond between humanity and nature - a relationship
we can’t survive without - and asks what responsibility we have to protect the exceptional
forests that remain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCEaYInJbos
Curated by Lianne Caron
The Wolf Pack
(2018, 12 min)
The Braford-Lefebrve family lives to run and runs to live. Without cell phones or any
modern worry, the wolf pack roams the mountains around Silverton CO.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I83E6jSHBs4

Danny Macaskill: Danny Daycare
(2019, 4 min)
In his latest film Danny Macaskill takes on some child care the only way he knows how... by
taking them for a wee bike ride around Scotland!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj0CmnxuTaQ#action=share
Electric Greg
(2019, 20 min)
Record-breaking mountain endurance athlete Greg Hill has never shied away from a goal.
Through his time spent in the mountains, he's seen the effects of climate change first-hand and
came to realize the way he was approaching the mountains was only making the problem
worse. Two years ago he changed his approach and set out to climb 100 peaks without burning
any fossil fuels. But the question is: will it make a difference?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTL5l4CcBdE&feature=youtu.be
Defiance
(2019, 13 min)
The path of progression is paved with acts of defiance. Leanne Pelosi, Jake Blauvelt, and
Victor de Le Rue take the stage in British Columbia in a showcase of shred.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUN-2fAgp0A&feature=youtu.be
Par For The Course
(2019, 4 min)
Mirna Valerio takes on her first ever sky race at the 4th annual Broken Arrow Sky Race. Mirna
navigated the rocky, exposed ridge lines, steep climbs and snow filled descents of Squaw
Valley with an attitude unlike any other.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13kb8geCNNc&feature=youtu.be
The Motivator
(2018, 4 min)
Filmmaker Aaron Hitchins turns his camera on the person who has motivated him to lead a life
connected to the outdoors: his mother, Maureen. He wishes he were half as active as she is,
and her commitment to rediscovering herself is inspirational.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpLt8ThtOFc&feature=youtu.be
submitted by gafitescu to RoHiking [link] [comments]

Napa Marathon Mar 1st, 2020 Race Report

Ran my first marathon yesterday. Roughly a year after running regularly. As a frequent reader on this sub and having read many race reports as inspiration, I decided I should write one in the hope of maybe inspiring or entertaining for the next runner one day.

Race Information

Goals

Goal Description Completed?
A Finish Yes
B Sub 4 Yes

Splits

Splicing data from 2 sources. My app (free version of MapMyRun on my iPhone, entries denoted with an asterix ‘*’), and the official report from the organizer.
Mile Time Pace
5* 44:02 8:48
6.2 (10Km) 54:58 8:51
10* 1:28:10 8:50
13.1 (Half) 1:56:13 8:52
15* 2:11:50 8:44
20* 2:57:41 9:10
20 2:59:18 8:57
25* 3:44:56 9:27
26.2 3:57:19 9:32
26.39* 3:57:36 9:06
Overall Official Pace: 9:03.
Overall Pace as measured by MapMyRun: 9:00.

Background

I quit a high stress tech job in December 2018. A little overweight, a little depressed, a little unfit, having 2~3 migraines a week, it was the right thing to do. My wife has been running and working out regularly for at least a year, she shed a lot of weight and is in great shape. My teenager son had also just joined his high school track and field team as a long distance runner, after that he joined the cross country team. Inspired by my wife’s success and my son’s example, I started running after some prodding.
At the beginning of 2019, I started running about 10 miles a week, 3-4 times weekly, at 2-3 miles per run around my neighborhood. Around the same time, I also discovered the Recommended Routine in bodyweightfitness… Late summer 2019, my wife decided to run a half marathon before she turns 50, so I joined her in her challenge. By then my migraines are mostly gone, and I’ve lost about 30 pounds and now in the best shape of my life. We started running more, and our weekly mileage went up to about 20 miles a week by late 2019. We completed our first half marathon together in December, and I did well and got a sub 2 finish. Riding on the euphoria of that achievement, and after watching the movie “Brittany Runs A Marathon”, I thought — “why not?”
I did some research for mostly gentle downhill thus easier marathons within driving distance from home and found the Napa race. The only problem - I only have about 8 weeks to train for it. Unsure about the wisdom of taking this challenge on, I even posted the question to running.
With the encouragement and advice from the sub, I proceeded with training.

Training

I read a few running plans for marathon noobs, and inferred that I should just start running more and go on longer runs, albeit at an easy, moderate pace. Also as a sanity check, I told myself to only sign up for the race after I manage to ramp up to roughly 40 miles per week, and have had at least one long run of about 20 miles. I did not follow any of the plans religiously, just doing long relax runs 4~6 times a week, with one long run every weekend. 2 weeks after the half marathon, I ran a very slow 14 miles, then added 2 miles every 1-2 week till I reached 18 miles before finally signing up.
My weekly training usually consists of:
As part of the training, I experimented with fueling strategy with gel packs and hydration with sports drinks. On a 20 mile long run, I tried only taking a gel pack after every 6 miles, and hit the wall for the first time in my life at around mile 18. Bonking was awful, but I managed to get myself home somehow. For aspiring marathoners, I would suggest trying this once to see how it feels. It will make you take nutrition and hydration during long runs seriously. Eventually I adjusted my fueling plan to taking a gel pack every 3-4 miles, and I would carry a bottle of sports drink that I sip every 2 mile. The gel packs, bottle, with the phone, it was a lot of stuff to carry. But you do what you gotta do.
Since I somehow managed a sub-2 during the half marathon, I half fantasized about the possibility of running a sub-4 race in my first full marathon. Many kind runners on running cautioned against taking this on as a goal. So I tried to push that out of my mind as much as possible. However, during my training runs, sometimes I would try to see how it feels to run at around a 9 minute mile pace for some extended period of time so to see whether my legs and lungs could take it. Secretly though, I was hoping the gentle rolling downhill of the Napa course could help turn fantasy into reality.
EDIT: forgot to talk about taper. 2 weeks before race day we took a family ski trip and after that my weekly mileage went down to about 20 miles, half of my usual. 3 days before race I stopped any running. Even with gentle exercises my body felt stir crazy with lots of pent-up energy, it was actually hard to just deal with it. Finally, the morning before race day I just had to go out for a 2 miles shake out run with my teenage son to get the nervousness out of the system.

Equipment

Pre-race

My wife and I drove up to Napa the day before the race. First we went to pick up our bibs and other runners’ knick-knacks, including a nice bag that runners can use to check their extra stuff at the starting line for later pickup, and a nice slick long sleeve running shirt. Although my wife is not interested in running a full marathon, she wanted to come to support me, so she signed up for the 5K. The pick up was at the Sports and Fitness Race Expo at the Marriott Hotel. Thousands of very healthy fit looking people were milling around - looking gorgeous. Wow #1, I just realized we are now one of these beautiful healthy looking fit people! There were lots of vendors there, offering free coffee, wine (duh, Napa?) and beer tasting, and marketing for other races in surrounding areas. I forced myself not to drink any alcohol before race day for fear of affecting my ability to run, so no fun for me. At least my wife enjoyed the free drinks. I can’t help but wonder how the other runners manage — give in or resist?
After spending the pre-race night at the River Terrace Inn, I woke up at 4:30am on race day morning to prepare to catch the 5:40am bus shuttle that will take us to the starting line in Calistoga. I haven’t been sleeping well for several days due to pre-race jitters, as well as unproductive worrying over coronavirus scares, market turbulence, and crazy American politics. I am not feeling rested. The hotel provided some fruits, muffins, and coffee at the lobby. I stumbled my way there and found that runners were already assembling. I grabbed a banana, a muffin, and 2 cups of decaf as no one was there to replenish the real coffee after it ran out. I went back to my room, scoffed them down, forced myself to sit on the throne and squeezed out whatever I could.
Almost forgot about the nipple tape. Then my wife woke up to send me off, she insisted and offered to tape up a blackened toe from previous training runs. I gratefully accepted. I also took my daily Claritin as it is allergy season. Lovely as spring in Napa, with everything in full bloom, it is bad news for allergy sufferers.
I went to the lobby at 5:30 am and was surprised to see the lobby packed! After 10 minute past scheduled pick up time, a volunteer came and announced that our shuttle service ran into some unspecified problems and will be a little late. Like an entitled consumer, I felt a surge of righteous anger. But to my surprise, my fellow runners thanked the volunteers for all the effort they were doing! Wow #2, runners are nice people!
For what seemed like ages, the bus finally arrived to pick us up about half an hour later. We were feeling a little anxious to say the least. At around 6am in the morning, the traffic from Napa to the starting line in Calistoga was quite heavy and slow, my guess was many runners and their supporters were choosing to drive there. It seemed the 26 mile drive took almost an hour. If I were to do this again, I think it would be wiser to consider staying in Calistoga instead of Napa the night before to reduce stress. We finally got to the starting line with only about 10 minute to spare, and I joined the super long line for the porta potties. Not ideal, but I wouldn’t want to be looking for someplace to pee mid race.
It was actually quite cold before the race and there was a light drizzle standing in the endless potty lines. I thought I would have plenty of time to do some stretching and warm ups. No such luxury today. After paying homage to the potty god, I have only seconds to spare before getting myself to the starting line. But first, I have to take off my hoodie, my glasses, and stick random stuff into the assigned bag and checked it. I was very grateful that the process was well organized and efficient. A team of volunteers grabbed it from me and tossed it into a well marked bus according to my bib number.
Then I heard the starting airhorn before even seeing where the starting line actually was! I just joined the horde and started to run in the same direction. And we were off at 7:30am!

Race

The drizzle had stopped by now, and it was starting to get lighter. Surrounded by vineyards, nature, and rolling hills, I made sure to look around and appreciate the scenery while I was running.
At the beginning, I spotted the 3:50, 3:55 and 4:30 pacers bunched up relatively close to each other. Without my glasses, I couldn’t see very well where the other pacer groups were, so I decided to just follow the 3:55 pacers as much as I could. Surprisingly I find myself keeping up!
I saw a lot of runners wearing the fancy pink Nike Vapor Fly shoes or their close cousins. You know, the one worn by the guy who broke the 2 hour marathon world record. Rough guess: around 1 in 10 runners were wearing this fanciness? Feeling a little judgy (Cheaters!) and a little jealous, I shut that train of thought out of my mind. Anyone brave or crazy enough to run a marathon should be allowed to wear any shoe they want, or even none at all!
Aid stations at mile 2. I decided to run past it since I was carrying my own drink. Same at mile 4. I have to say the aid stations were very well organized. There were race volunteers handing out water and sports drinks. With long outstretched arms, it seemed easy for runners to just reach out and grab a paper cup without stopping. I made a mental note to do that later in the race.
I squeezed in a gel pack at mile 4. As an allergy sufferer, I have been running as a mouth breather. Not a very graceful look, but between that and suffocating, the choice is obvious. This poses extra challenge while eating and drinking. I just have to take quick breaths between swallowing, and hold un-finished gel in my mouth while struggling to inhale.
The miles were just rolling past, and before I knew it, an hour had gone by. That was actually quite a pleasant surprise. I was utterly enjoying myself. A year ago I wouldn’t have thought it would be possible for me to be feeling this good after running for a full hour.
The scenery was beautiful, everything fresh and green. It was a little overcast, but I am definitely sufficiently warm by now. I appreciated the slick long sleeve shirt that the organizers gave out, and happy that I’ve decided to wear it instead of some random tee-shirt I packed.
I was also surprised to see that there were all sorts of runners, all ages, all sizes. Many of them fit the category of tall long healthy beautiful people I saw at bib pick up the day before, but not all. Since I am feeling great at this point, I see myself running tall with perfect form in my mind’s eye. I looked around and couldn’t help but start judging others… “that guy is limping… that one is carrying extra weight… that muscle dude is top heavy... that old man has no bounce in his step…“
More beautiful vineyards rolled past. BTW, there are hills on this course. Yes it is net down hill, but there are uphill parts too. I can definitely feel myself exerting to run up those “gentle” slopes. Another observation: it actually takes quite some effort to run straight on a surface that slopes to the side even though it is flat ahead. Never thought of that.
Wow, half marathon mark!
At this point, instead of taking up both lanes of the picturesque Silverado trail, runners shifted to running on the right hand side to allow traffic to use the other lane. No problem, the cars, motor-bikers, cyclists, and the occasional road skiers were keeping a respectful distance. Yes, there were quite a few "road skiers". Not roller skaters or inline skaters but guys on long skis with wheels on each end, holding poles. Didn’t know that was a thing until today.
I was still keeping pace with the 3:55 pacers! In fact, I was running slightly ahead of them for most of the race, but they would occasionally bump up against me, at which time I would just push ahead and open up some distance from them. Amazed with this observation, I congratulated myself and carried on, although parts of my body were starting to feel creaky at this point. Especially the knees and the achilles. I was still imagining myself running in perfect form though.
Around mile 15 my bottle was empty. So I would grab a cup of water or sports drinks from one of the outstretched hands as I passed each of the aid stations. They were even guys handing out gel packs, and at later stations even fruits like orange slices, though I never took them as I had plenty of gel packs in my pouch.
The EDM playlist at 175 bpm was starting to sound quite boring and monotonous at this point, even annoyingly whiny. I don’t want to waste any effort to try to find some other music so I soldiered on, faithfully keeping pace one step at a time to the beat. I also started to notice that I was grunting in time, all the time. Breath in on step One, Two, Three, exhale and grunt on Four… 1,2,3, grunt… 1,2,3, grunt… 1,2,3, grunt…
Mile 18! More body parts were starting to hurt more and more. Even the neck and shoulders! Also by now the 3:55 pacers and their faithful followers had already passed me on the last gentle uphill. I told myself I would catch up with them on the next downhill slope but that never happen.
I was however pleasantly surprised to see my wife in the cheering crowd! She had finished her 5K, went back to the hotel to clean up, and drove back out to cheer for me! I tried to run tall and put on a show of my best running form despite feeling quite tired at this point.
Contrary to what I’ve read about the race from previous years, there were quite a few supporters along the way even in the first few miles of the race, early in the morning. Some holding signs encouraging love ones and random runners like me, some were there to give free high fives. All there to cheer you on! I made a point to give as many high fives with my snotty sweaty palms – coronavirus, who cares! I also saw families with lawn chairs, some playing loud motivational music on their boomboxes. There was a brass band somewhere along the way, a lion dance troupe, and even a Taiko drumming group toward the end.
By mile 20 I was definitely struggling. Later when I looked at my running app it confirmed that my pace had slowed down significantly. Although I “only” needed to run 10 min mile pace for the next 6 mile I could still get a sub 4 finish… yes, sub 4 was still in play… but that was starting to sound like a tall order. A runner friend had placed a bet with me that I could finish but won’t get a sub 4. So I decided to use it as a goal to keep myself focused. Just have to put one foot in front of the other. Repeat. By the way, I was no longer able to keep time with the music. 175 bpm? Just background noise at this point.
At around mile 23 I was feeling the sub 4 fantasy slipping away. With strangers cheering me on, I summoned energy from god-knows-where and thus probably shortened a few years of my lifespan. I forced myself to keep up the pace. I was also grunting very loudly now, without a care how disturbing it could be for other runners. “1, 2, 3, GRUNT! 1, 2, 3, GRUNT! 1, 2, 3, GRUNT!” I saw quite a few disturbed runners turning their head as I was approaching them, and the fears in their eyes! They gave me a wide berth and I passed each of them without hesitation or apologies.
Finish line in sight, I saw my wife’s face in the crowd, I pushed forward…

Post-race

Limping past the finish line, I hunched over and stopped to catch my breath. A young, kind and lovely volunteer took my arm and walked me further down the line, making me feel really special. I am very grateful, thanks kind volunteer!
The finish area was in a local high school. My wife found me. She guided me to the bag pick up in an indoor school basketball court. I am thankful it was indoor and comfortably warm, because not long after we got there my legs gave up and started to cramp. Hard. I saw my right calf muscle contorted into some angry shape I never thought possible, pulsating with a mind of its own in front of my own eyes. I had to do some painful stretches to try to pry the muscles from twisting into knots. After a few minutes it finally calmed down and I finally sat down and relaxed.
My wife showed me some photos and videos she took of me at mile 18 and the finish line. Looking at the videos, I was flabbergasted. In complete opposite direction to my own imagination, my running form was in no way perfect or even any where near good. In fact, I was hunched over, pain on my face, tense shoulder, bow-legged, and stiff wooden locked knees, flat footed, with no bounce at all in my feet whatsoever! More like a ghoul in hunchback of Notre Dame!
Anyway, it was a painful and humbling experience. But it was all worth it. Plus I won the sub 4 bet.
P.S. Later in the evening, I had a full blown allergy attack from breathing in all the pollen during the race. Still, it was all worth it.
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.
submitted by BeGoodOne to running [link] [comments]

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