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The multi-role strike hovercraft slipped through the air, dropping altitude quickly. The intact ships of the squadron were smoking, over half of them the battle-screens were down and the particle screens were so overloaded they were flickering and snarling.
Mukstet, pilot of Foxtrot-Niner-Two, lead striker of the squadron due to their unorthodox launch, looked around, the window shields covering the smart-armaglass retracted. The trees were whipping by and so far there hadn't been any Precursors popping up on the sensors.
That could be because our sensors are hashed, he thought to himself. He saw a faint glimmer of sparkling blue and did a slow bank toward it.
The controls were mushy, slow to respond. The two fifty-gallon reactor mass tanks were empty, used to power the afterburners, which meant his fusion reactor was offline. He was running on the auxilary zero-point reactors now and they barely had the power to keep the ship in the air. They were at over 80% heat, which left the alarms pinging in his ear. The hotter they got the higher the impedance and the less power the reactors produced due to the power being converted to heat.
It was a vicious self-sustaining cycle.
Terrans have been able to beat everything but heat, Mukstet thought, dropping his altitude even further. He was barely skimming above the tree-tops now. He glanced around him, doing a visual on the other striker craft. Four of them were streaming smoke, one white, one bluish, the other two black smoke pouring from where the weapon covers had torn free. A glance at the squadron icons showed him that of the twenty strikers besides his all of them were yellow or amber.
"973, can you do field repairs?" he asked over the link.
--need time and mass nano-forges too hot too slushy slushy-- the green mantid sent back along with a picture of a half-dozen green mantids standing on the lid of a top loading clothes washing machine with bubbles pouring out from the edges of the lid. The caption read "C17H35COONa/H2O!!!!!" Mukstet didn't get it completely but he got the gist.
The blue glimmer came out to be a large lake surrounded by manicured lawns, decorative tree groves, shrubs, and estates for Lanaktallan. There were wrecking equipment near the manors and over half of them were in the middle of being demolished.
"All Foxtrot-Niner elements, all strikers on me, we're going land near the lake and do field repairs," Mukstet said. "All dismount strike team leaderss give me a status report on your dismount teams once we're on the ground. Have your green buddies reconfigure your suits for intra-atmospheric combat. My appreciation to your green buddies for keeping everyone alive during our insertion."
Blinks came back from the squad leaders.
"Foxtrot-Niner-Two, this is Foxtrot-Niner-Twelve, my center-line gravitons are out and my zero-point heat is at 92% and rising. Tell me we're setting down soon," came Dulketit's voice.
"Five mikes, that's it, just five mikes, Foxtrot-Niner-Twelve," Mukstet said. "All squadron strikers, drop speed to two-hundred kay."
The icons blinked and Mukstet went back to keeping his battered striker in the air.
He managed to get his landing gear deployed and set down on what was obviously a manor's ornate back lawn. The striker hovercraft settled down slowly, bumping, and Mukstet killed the power. The vehicle made a whining sound that slowly went silent. The other twenty striker craft settled down on the lawn, not quite dress right dress but close enough.
Foxtrot-Nine-Seven and Foxtrot-Nine-Eighteen both had fires erupt. Black armored troops jumped out with fire extinquishers, hosing down the fires with white powder.
"How's she look?" Mukstet asked his mantids.
--couple hours need mass good to stop at water you run hoses-- 973 sent back with an image of armored Telkan wrestling umbilicals from the lake to the strikers.
"All right. How's the engineers? You all make it?" Mukstet asked.
--some injured two lost legs three lost bladearms be okie okie-- 973 transmitted back with a sweating smiley face.
"All right. Make sure they get first aid," Mukstet said. He reached down and popped the umbilical connecting him to Jekib. He turned on the system, feeling cool air flood in. He hadn't realized how overheated he'd gotten during the insertion. He undid his five-point harness and hit the release stud for his neural jack connector.
It felt weird being disconnected from the striker. Light he was lighter somehow. Aches and pains vanished for a second to be replaced by other aches and pains. His shoulders, elbows, wrists, and fingers hurt from the vibration through the stick and how tightly he'd gripped everything.
He closed his eyes, just like he'd been trained to, and took several deep breaths, giving his brain time to synch back up to his body. A count of five, opening and closing his hands each count, and then he opened his eyes again. He reached out and hit the stud on the side to open up the cock-pit side door.
Air rolled over him, smelling of water and alien green things. He could see the dismount strikers spreading out at the pointed directions of Sergeant Kuplo. Some of the scouts were running for the construction equipment, others were opening up panels on the striker craft and pulling out hoses, still others were kneeling down while a handful of troops with the red cross, red crescent, and red square of medical personnel were checking their armor's statistics.
The next two hours passed with a blur. Pulling the hoses out to refill the reactor mass with filtered water, the debris caught by the filters passed to the nano-forges, the greenies making repairs as rapidly as possible. Telkan Marines helped put mass into the hoppers for the nano-forges to tear apart once the creation engines had cooled down and deslushed.
"You get anyone yet?" Mukstet asked Kanpuk, his Technical Specialist operating the com-system.
"No. Tegket's working with the other EW guys to try to cut through the interference, but these Precusors are a lot better at jamming than the other ones," Kanpuk said. "So far we've heard some chatter, including a Telkan Marine Heavy Assault Battalion that got dropped into the wrong zone and are protecting a refugee center or ammo dump or something, as well as a couple of Terran Pacific Rim Class warmechs just jumping from the Boop and making landfall via impact."
Mukstet shook his head. They'd barely made it, he couldn't imagine dropping free fall to planet-side in a three hundred foot tall ten thousand ton mech. But then, those mech guys were a whole different breed of crazy. Mukstet's brother had tried out for the war-mech program and now was the pilot of a heavy assault class mech.
But then, he'd always been a little weird, even before the Terrans came.
"Keep me posted. Let me know if we find anyone that needs close air support once we get the strikers reconfigured for intra-atmosphere work and as much of the field repairs as we can do are done," Mukstet said. He'd opened the faceplate on his armored vac-rated flight suit and was enjoying the cool fresh air after all the hours sharing Jekib's air.
The Marine Scout armor used a laser to stimulate a small fungus to produce oxygen from CO2 and CO with enough efficency they could operate in total vacuum for months.
That was something that Mukstet had noticed. During comparisons to Lanaktallan equipment, he'd noticed that the Overseers had created all of their equipment under the assumption that everything would run perfectly. Terrans on the other hand, designed all their equipment as if the world was coming to end and whoever was using the equipment was in the worst possible conditions in the worst possible situation.
Which Mukstet was glad for now.
--refabbing ordnance-- 973 reported. --airframe repairs during wing repairs done--
Mukstet looked over and could see the green mantid engineers, in their hard-shell extreme environment armor moving off the wings of the strikers. They'd been forced to weld the wings in the open position to prevent an actuator failure from allowing the wings to slide into the retracted position. Now that they were ground-side the mantids had to cut the welds and smooth the armor again to allow the wings to deploy and shift properly.
"Everyone get something to eat. Sergeant Kuplo, make sure your men take shifts, eat, and get some water into them, that was a rough landing," Mukstet ordered.
"Yes, sir," the Scout Sergeant said. "You heard him, men. Squad leaders, take charge of your squads. Get with me in half an hour and I'll have guard rotations."
There was a click as Sergeant Kuplo switched to the leadership channel. "What's the ETA on the strikers being ready?"
Mukstet checked the chron display on his retinal link. "Eight hours for full repairs, two more to combat capable. We had to strip the ordnance to run the afterburners in vacuum."
"I'll assign shifts as if its eight hours then, sir," Sergeant Kuplo said.
"You know I'm just a Private First Class, right?" Mukstet said.
"You're striker a pilot and you're in charge of the squadron, that makes you 'sir', sir," Sergeant Kuplo said and then shut off the link to stop any more discussion.
Mukstet sighed and went back to overseeing the striker hovercraft being worked on. The weapons were all deployable, able to be rotated back up into the airframe to increase stealth then deployed when live fire time came.
One thing that Mukstet had noticed is that Terrans really liked kinetic weaponry. His striker had two six barrel rotating autocannons, two door guns, and an underbelly deployable cannon. Missile pods, sure, but he noted there wasn't any laser, plasma, or maser systems. All kinetic.
He wondered why that was as he moved around Striker Foxtrot-Niner-Fifteen, noting that the mantids were repairing the pilot side smartglass and had the armor off the nose to expose where they were working on the airframe.
He took a moment to admit to himself that he really really really wished the Terran pilots and dismount leaders had made it off the Boop. He didn't have any orders loaded up, the only scans of the planet were the ones he'd managed to get from orbit and on the way down, and he had no idea of who had even made it groundside and who hadn't.
He was glad to hear at least some of his fellow Telkans had made it groundside. Second Telkan was largely unblooded with the exception of the power armor guys and most of those were in the infantry units.
Mukstet had joined the Marines after fighting on the wall of Log Base Gamma on Telkan-2 for nearly a month, dressed in an armored vac-suit and running a massive rotary laser cannon. He'd never felt so helpless in his life as when he'd been on that wall. He'd swore he'd never feel that way again and signed up when the Telkan Marine recruiter had come through.
It was slowly getting dark, the pale sparks of the mantid engineers becoming brighter and brighter as time went on and the night got darker. He could see holograms springing up where the mantids clustered together and went to work.
--airframe repaired armor repaired ordnance almost done-- 973 reported. --software checks done combat capable but fragile fragile need two more hours--
"You've got it," Mukstet sighed. My first combat command and the entire squadron is grounded. At least I got them onto the ground.
Mukstet kept walking back and forth on the grass, his palm turned up so he could look at what little ground-side data they had. A BOLO almost four hundred miles out but Mukstet's trainers had all stressed that unless it was coming to your rescue or had requested you a trooper never had a reason to go into the hellfire of a BOLO's combat zone. Off to the east, roughly a hundred and fifty miles, the sensors had picked up heavy Precursor movement almost three hours ago but Mukstet had no idea where they were now. To the west there was heavy groundfire that they'd managed to avoid during their orbits.
The nearest population center was over a hundred miles away to the south, what had looked like a refining facility next to a lake with close packed barracks. Next closest one was two hundred miles to the north, a city from the looks of it.
Mukstet looked at the scans he'd managed to pull of the Precursor vehicles, comparing them to the ones loaded in his striker's IFF. After a little bit he walked over to where Sergeant Kuplo was standing, watching his men who were dug into the ruins of the half-demolished manors.
"Sir?" Sergeant Kuplo asked.
"Do you have your Precursor profiles loaded?" Mukstet asked.
"Yes, sir," the Sergeant said. "Same with the men."
Mukstet held his hand out, palm up, and showed the most common type of Precursor machine that was estimated to be over 5,000 tons. "You have this in your database?"
The Telkan NCO leaned forward, examining it. It had what looked like three snail shells side by side with massive tracks on either side, crawler legs on the side and in front and what looked like a set of jaws up front.
"No, sir. It doesn't match any of my profiles," Kuplo answered. "Where was this taken?"
"Over a thousand of them, from orbit. It's about two hundred meters long and twenty meters wide," Mukstet said. "I've seen something like it before, though."
"Where?" the NCO asked.
"Log Base Gamma, Second Telkan War," Mukstet said. "One large shell at the rear, and made of meat and chitin, but it definitely fits the look."
"You sure, sir?" Kuplo asked. "I was on Telisminia, we mostly had the big layered plate ones."
"I'm sure," Mukstet said. "Which means, these aren't the Precursors from the First Telkan War."
"All right, sir," Kuplo said, nodding slowly. "What's the plan?"
"Give me a few minutes, Sergeant," Mukstet said.
"I'll be over here, sir," the NCO said.
Mukstet walked away, looking at the different types of Precursor machines they'd spotted on the way in, as well as the vessels that they'd passed that had been fighting the Boop and other ships.
More flowing, more like they were patterned off of something living. Lots of mechanical tentacles and pinchers and crab/insect legs. They moved in groups, smaller ones around the big ones, the smallest ones riding on the bigger ones.
These aren't related to the ones from the first war, these are related to those things that came from outer space. Maybe the things made them somehow? Mukstet wondered. A terrible thought bubbled up.
Maybe something else made both?
He looked around. The field was good sized, large enough that all the strikers could be landed on it and then some room. The lake was important, if there was one thing the strikers were it was thirsty. There was plenty of debris to salvage to stuff in the hoppers, the trees on three sides would provide warning of anything large coming in.
I need to think of more than just now. I need to consider that we might not be able to regroup for several days. The strikers will need repair, reloading, remassed. Flight crews will need sleep and food, Musktet thought to himself, looking around.
He checked his armor's database and ran a search string for the terms he needed.
There were six field manuals detailing creation of an operations base. He stood by the lake, looking at the 3D wire-frames, reading the manuals quickly. There were some conflicting thoughts, some stuff that he didn't quite understand.
"Sergeant Kuplo, join me if you would," he sent over the comlink.
"On my way, sir," the NCO said.
It took a few moments for the NCO to join him and he kept scanning the field manuals the whole time.
"You needed me, sir?" Kuplo asked.
"Our current situation is one we've only lightly trained for. I don't doubt we would have trained for it when we arrived here but right now we've got some problems," Mukstet said.
"Aye, sir," Kuplo answered.
"Right now we have no support base. The squadron is based off the Boop, and the Boop is gone. That means right now, all we'd be doing is flying in circles squawking 'DOES ANYONE NEED HELP?' like jumping lizards with their heads cut off," Mukstet said.
"True, sir," Kuplo said, nodding.
"Everyone landed under fire. We passed heavy ground fire repeatedly, which means III Corps and Second Telkan landed into the teeth of heavy fire. Right now, we have a secure area," Mukstet turned and motioned at the field. "We don't know how far we are from any front, but even if this isn't a strategic area for a strike base we can still start a logistics base right here."
"How so, sir?" Kuplo asked.
"Foxtrot-Two-Twenty-Two has bad airframe damage. It's combat capable under the current conditions but to be honest I wouldn't want to have the crew risk it," Mukstet said. "I'm saying we have one active wing at all times, doing recon patrols. Two wings on standby, one on repairs. We pull the nano-forges from Twenty-two, Seventeen, and Eight, and start fabricating the things we need to fabricate a strike base."
Mukstet turned and waved at the area. "We already have construction equipment. You told me that there was construction supplies, that it was obvious something was going to be built out here on top of the Lanaktallan estates that are being torn down. We construct an airfield, rearming point, remassing point. Establish an urgent care clinic, mess hall, and at least get some tents up for sleeping so you don't have to sleep in holes."
Kuplo nodded slowly.
"The Corpsmen on standby will run the urgent care clinic. We've already got wounded little brothers, so we pull the worst wounded to work on building the camp, take the strikers in with the teams we can put together," Mukstet said. He pinged the hasty file he'd put together over to the NCO.
Kuplo turned his hand up, looking at the proposed idea.
"Wish we had something bigger as far as nano-forges go, but the little brothers care capable of damn near miracles with the stuff we've got," Mukstet said. "Right now, we'll break into wing shifts, the ones on standby work on the striker base, one in the air, one grounded. Four wings of four strikers each."
Kuplo nodded. "It could work. Even if we have to abandon the base due to the front shifting or being reassigned another place, digging in is our best bet, at least till the commo channels clear up or we can get something on the command net."
"Let's get it done, Sergeant," Mukstet said.
"Ayut," the NCO said. He put his hand to his helmet to signal he was speaking to the dismount crews.
Mukstet stared at the night around him, made bright as day by the electronics in his suit.
-----------
"Foxtrot-Niner-Two, taking command of Foxtrot Wing One," Mukstet said, checking over his instruments. He knew he'd need to be careful of the port-side graviton generators, but it beat not having the striker up and running.
"Roger, Foxtrot-Niner-Two. You are green to begin mission," Pv2 Dektol, communications technician for the grounded Striker-Twenty-Two said over the headset.
"Establish link with us when you get that commo-antenna up," Mukstet said.
"Roger that, sir," the Pv2, only one rank below Mukstet, said into the mic. "Good luck."
Mukstet got the striker, fully loaded and with a compliment of dismount light scout Marines aboard, into the air. He started moving forward, the rest of the Wing-One following him, then banked to fly low over the lake.
Let's go see if we have any neighbors, Mukstet thought, tabbing up a piece of stimgum.
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AAHS AALS ABAC ABAS ABBA ABBE ABBS ABED ABET ABID ABLE ABLY ABOS ABRI ABUT ABYE ABYS ACAI ACCA ACED ACER ACES ACHE ACHY ACID ACME ACNE ACRE ACTA ACTS ACYL ADAW ADDS ADDY ADIT ADOS ADRY ADZE AEON AERO AERY AESC AFAR AFFY AFRO AGAR AGAS AGED AGEE AGEN AGER AGES AGHA AGIN AGIO AGLU AGLY AGMA AGOG AGON AGUE AHED AHEM AHIS AHOY AIAS AIDA AIDE AIDS AIGA AILS AIMS AINE AINS AIRN AIRS AIRT AIRY AITS AITU AJAR AJEE AKAS AKED AKEE AKES AKIN ALAE ALAN ALAP ALAR ALAS ALAY ALBA ALBE ALBS ALCO ALEC ALEE ALEF ALES ALEW ALFA ALFS ALGA ALIF ALIT ALKO ALKY ALLS ALLY ALMA ALME ALMS ALOD ALOE ALOO ALOW ALPS ALSO ALTO ALTS ALUM ALUS AMAH AMAS AMBO AMEN AMES AMIA AMID AMIE AMIN AMIR AMIS AMLA AMMO AMOK AMPS AMUS AMYL ANAL ANAN ANAS ANCE ANDS ANES ANEW ANGA ANIL ANIS ANKH ANNA ANNO ANNS ANOA ANON ANOW ANSA ANTA ANTE ANTI ANTS ANUS APAY APED APER APES APEX APOD APOS APPS APSE APSO APTS AQUA ARAK ARAR ARBA ARBS ARCH ARCO ARCS ARDS AREA ARED AREG ARES ARET AREW ARFS ARGH ARIA ARID ARIL ARIS ARKS ARLE ARMS ARMY ARNA AROW ARPA ARSE ARSY ARTI ARTS ARTY ARUM ARVO ARYL ASAR ASCI ASEA ASHY ASKS ASPS ATAP ATES ATMA ATOC ATOK ATOM ATOP ATUA AUAS AUFS AUKS AULA AULD AUNE AUNT AURA AUTO AVAL AVAS AVEL AVER AVES AVID AVOS AVOW AWAY AWDL AWED AWEE AWES AWFY AWKS AWLS AWNS AWNY AWOL AWRY AXAL AXED AXEL AXES AXIL AXIS AXLE AXON AYAH AYES AYIN AYRE AYUS AZAN AZON AZYM
BAAL BAAS BABA BABE BABU BABY BACH BACK BACS BADE BADS BAEL BAFF BAFT BAGH BAGS BAHT BAHU BAIL BAIT BAJU BAKE BALD BALE BALK BALL BALM BALS BALU BAMS BANC BAND BANE BANG BANI BANK BANS BANT BAPS BAPU BARB BARD BARE BARF BARK BARM BARN BARP BARS BASE BASH BASK BASS BAST BATE BATH BATS BATT BAUD BAUK BAUR BAWD BAWL BAWN BAWR BAYE BAYS BAYT BEAD BEAK BEAM BEAN BEAR BEAT BEAU BECK BEDE BEDS BEDU BEEF BEEN BEEP BEER BEES BEET BEGO BEGS BEIN BELL BELS BELT BEMA BEND BENE BENI BENJ BENS BENT BERE BERG BERK BERM BEST BETA BETE BETH BETS BEVY BEYS BHAI BHAT BHEL BHUT BIAS BIBB BIBS BICE BIDE BIDI BIDS BIEN BIER BIFF BIGA BIGG BIGS BIKE BILE BILK BILL BIMA BIND BINE BING BINK BINS BINT BIOG BIOS BIRD BIRK BIRL BIRO BIRR BISE BISH BISK BIST BITE BITO BITS BITT BIZE BLAB BLAD BLAE BLAG BLAH BLAM BLAT BLAW BLAY BLEB BLED BLEE BLET BLEW BLEY BLIN BLIP BLIT BLOB BLOC BLOG BLOT BLOW BLUB BLUE BLUR BOAB BOAK BOAR BOAS BOAT BOBA BOBS BOCK BODE BODS BODY BOEP BOET BOFF BOGS BOGY BOHO BOHS BOIL BOIS BOKE BOKO BOKS BOLA BOLD BOLE BOLL BOLO BOLT BOMA BOMB BONA BOND BONE BONG BONK BONY BOOB BOOH BOOK BOOL BOOM BOON BOOR BOOS BOOT BOPS BORA BORD BORE BORK BORM BORN BORS BORT BOSH BOSK BOSS BOTA BOTE BOTH BOTS BOTT BOUK BOUN BOUT BOWL BOWR BOWS BOXY BOYF BOYG BOYO BOYS BOZO BRAD BRAE BRAG BRAK BRAN BRAS BRAT BRAW BRAY BRED BREE BREI BREN BRER BREW BREY BRIE BRIG BRIK BRIM BRIN BRIO BRIS BRIT BROD BROG BROO BROS BROW BRRR BRUS BRUT BRUX BUAT BUBA BUBO BUBS BUBU BUCK BUDA BUDI BUDO BUDS BUFF BUFO BUGS BUHL BUHR BUIK BUKE BULB BULK BULL BUMF BUMP BUMS BUNA BUND BUNG BUNK BUNN BUNS BUNT BUOY BURA BURB BURD BURG BURK BURL BURN BURP BURR BURS BURY BUSH BUSK BUSS BUST BUSY BUTE BUTS BUTT BUYS BUZZ BYDE BYES BYKE BYRE BYRL BYTE
CAAS CABA CABS CACA CACK CADE CADI CADS CAFE CAFF CAGE CAGS CAGY CAID CAIN CAKE CAKY CALF CALK CALL CALM CALO CALP CALX CAMA CAME CAMO CAMP CAMS CANE CANG CANN CANS CANT CANY CAPA CAPE CAPH CAPI CAPO CAPS CARB CARD CARE CARK CARL CARN CARP CARR CARS CART CASA CASE CASH CASK CAST CATE CATS CAUF CAUK CAUL CAUM CAUP CAVA CAVE CAVY CAWK CAWS CAYS CEAS CECA CEDE CEDI CEES CEIL CELL CELS CELT CENS CENT CEPE CEPS CERE CERO CERT CESS CETE CHAD CHAI CHAL CHAM CHAO CHAP CHAR CHAS CHAT CHAV CHAW CHAY CHEF CHER CHEW CHEZ CHIA CHIB CHIC CHID CHIK CHIN CHIP CHIS CHIT CHIV CHIZ CHOC CHOG CHON CHOP CHOU CHOW CHUB CHUG CHUM CHUR CHUT CIAO CIDE CIDS CIEL CIGS CILL CINE CION CIRE CIRL CIST CITE CITO CITS CITY CIVE CLAD CLAG CLAM CLAN CLAP CLAT CLAW CLAY CLEF CLEG CLEM CLEW CLIP CLIT CLOD CLOG CLON CLOP CLOT CLOU CLOW CLOY CLUB CLUE COAL COAT COAX COBB COBS COCA COCH COCK COCO CODA CODE CODS COED COFF COFT COGS COHO COIF COIL COIN COIR COIT COKE COKY COLA COLD COLE COLL COLS COLT COLY COMA COMB COME COMM COMP COMS COND CONE CONF CONI CONK CONN CONS CONY COOF COOK COOL COOM COON COOP COOS COOT COPE COPS COPY CORD CORE CORF CORK CORM CORN CORS CORY COSE COSH COSS COST COSY COTE COTH COTS COTT COUP COUR COVE COWK COWL COWP COWS COWY COXA COXY COYS COZE COZY CRAB CRAG CRAM CRAN CRAP CRAW CRAY CRED CREE CREM CREW CRIA CRIB CRIM CRIS CRIT CROC CROG CROP CROW CRUD CRUE CRUS CRUX CUBE CUBS CUDS CUED CUES CUFF CUIF CUIT CUKE CULL CULM CULT CUMS CUNT CUPS CURB CURD CURE CURF CURL CURN CURR CURS CURT CUSH CUSK CUSP CUSS CUTE CUTS CWMS CYAN CYMA CYME CYST CYTE CZAR
DAAL DABS DACE DACK DADA DADO DADS DAES DAFF DAFT DAGO DAGS DAHL DAHS DAIS DAKS DALE DALI DALS DALT DAME DAMN DAMP DAMS DANG DANK DANS DANT DAPS DARB DARE DARG DARI DARK DARN DART DASH DATA DATE DATO DAUB DAUD DAUR DAUT DAVY DAWD DAWK DAWN DAWS DAWT DAYS DAZE DEAD DEAF DEAL DEAN DEAR DEAW DEBE DEBS DEBT DECK DECO DEED DEEK DEEM DEEN DEEP DEER DEES DEET DEEV DEFI DEFO DEFT DEFY DEGS DEGU DEID DEIF DEIL DEKE DELE DELF DELI DELL DELO DELS DELT DEME DEMO DEMY DENE DENI DENS DENT DENY DERE DERM DERN DERO DERV DESI DESK DEUS DEVA DEVS DEWS DEWY DEXY DEYS DHAK DHAL DHOL DHOW DIAL DIBS DICE DICH DICK DICT DIDO DIDY DIEB DIED DIEL DIES DIET DIFF DIFS DIGS DIKA DIKE DILL DIME DIMP DIMS DINE DING DINK DINO DINS DINT DIOL DIPS DIPT DIRE DIRK DIRL DIRT DISA DISC DISH DISK DISS DITA DITE DITS DITT DITZ DIVA DIVE DIVI DIVO DIVS DIXI DIXY DIYA DJIN DOAB DOAT DOBS DOBY DOCK DOCO DOCS DODO DODS DOEK DOEN DOER DOES DOFF DOGE DOGS DOGY DOHS DOIT DOJO DOLE DOLL DOLS DOLT DOME DOMS DOMY DONA DONE DONG DONS DOOB DOOK DOOL DOOM DOON DOOR DOOS DOPA DOPE DOPS DOPY DORB DORE DORK DORM DORP DORR DORS DORT DORY DOSE DOSH DOSS DOST DOTE DOTH DOTS DOTY DOUC DOUK DOUM DOUN DOUP DOUR DOUT DOUX DOVE DOWD DOWF DOWL DOWN DOWP DOWS DOWT DOXY DOYS DOZE DOZY DRAB DRAC DRAD DRAG DRAM DRAP DRAT DRAW DRAY DREE DREG DREK DREW DREY DRIB DRIP DROP DROW DRUB DRUG DRUM DRYS DSOS DUAD DUAL DUAN DUAR DUBS DUCE DUCI DUCK DUCT DUDE DUDS DUED DUEL DUES DUET DUFF DUGS DUIT DUKA DUKE DULE DULL DULY DUMA DUMB DUMP DUNE DUNG DUNK DUNS DUNT DUOS DUPE DUPS DURA DURE DURN DURO DURR DUSH DUSK DUST DUTY DWAM DYAD DYED DYER DYES DYKE DYNE DZHO DZOS
EACH EALE EANS EARD EARL EARN EARS EASE EAST EASY EATH EATS EAUS EAUX EAVE EBBS EBON ECAD ECCE ECCO ECHE ECHO ECHT ECOD ECOS ECRU ECUS EDDO EDDY EDGE EDGY EDHS EDIT EECH EELS EELY EERY EEVN EFFS EFTS EGAD EGAL EGER EGGS EGGY EGIS EGMA EGOS EHED EIDE EIKS EILD EINA EINE EISH EKED EKES EKKA ELAN ELDS ELFS ELHI ELKS ELLS ELMS ELMY ELSE ELTS EMES EMEU EMIC EMIR EMIT EMMA EMMY EMOS EMPT EMUS EMYD EMYS ENDS ENES ENEW ENGS ENOL ENOW ENUF ENVY EOAN EONS EORL EPEE EPHA EPIC EPOS ERAS ERED ERES EREV ERGO ERGS ERHU ERIC ERKS ERNE ERNS EROS ERRS ERST ERUV ESES ESKY ESNE ESPY ESSE ESTS ETAS ETAT ETCH ETEN ETHE ETHS ETIC ETNA ETUI EUGE EUGH EUKS EUOI EURO EVEN EVER EVES EVET EVIL EVOE EVOS EWER EWES EWKS EWTS EXAM EXEC EXED EXES EXIT EXON EXPO EXUL EYAS EYED EYEN EYER EYES EYNE EYOT EYRA EYRE EYRY
FAAN FAAS FABS FACE FACT FADE FADO FADS FADY FAFF FAGS FAHS FAIK FAIL FAIN FAIR FAIX FAKE FALL FALX FAME FAND FANE FANG FANK FANO FANS FARD FARE FARL FARM FARO FARS FART FASH FAST FATE FATS FAUN FAUR FAUT FAUX FAVA FAVE FAWN FAWS FAYS FAZE FEAL FEAR FEAT FECK FEDS FEEB FEED FEEL FEEN FEER FEES FEET FEGS FEHM FEHS FEIS FELL FELT FEME FEMS FEND FENI FENS FENT FEOD FERE FERM FERN FESS FEST FETA FETE FETS FETT FEUD FEUS FEWS FEYS FIAR FIAT FIBS FICE FICO FIDO FIDS FIEF FIER FIFE FIGO FIGS FIKE FIKY FILA FILE FILL FILM FILO FILS FIND FINE FINI FINK FINO FINS FIQH FIRE FIRK FIRM FIRN FIRS FISC FISH FISK FIST FITS FITT FIVE FIXT FIZZ FLAB FLAG FLAK FLAM FLAN FLAP FLAT FLAW FLAX FLAY FLEA FLED FLEE FLEG FLEW FLEX FLEY FLIC FLIM FLIP FLIR FLIT FLIX FLOB FLOC FLOE FLOG FLOP FLOR FLOW FLOX FLUB FLUE FLUS FLUX FOAL FOAM FOBS FOCI FOEN FOES FOGS FOGY FOHN FOID FOIL FOIN FOLD FOLK FOND FONE FONS FONT FOOD FOOL FOOT FOPS FORA FORB FORD FORE FORK FORM FORT FOSS FOUD FOUL FOUR FOUS FOWL FOXY FOYS FOZY FRAB FRAE FRAG FRAP FRAS FRAT FRAU FRAY FREE FRET FRIB FRIG FRIS FRIT FRIZ FROE FROG FROM FROS FROW FRUG FUBS FUCI FUCK FUDS FUEL FUFF FUGS FUGU FUJI FULL FUME FUMS FUMY FUND FUNG FUNK FUNS FURL FURR FURS FURY FUSC FUSE FUSS FUST FUTZ FUZE FUZZ FYCE FYKE FYLE FYRD
GABS GABY GADE GADI GADS GAED GAEN GAES GAFF GAGA GAGE GAGS GAID GAIN GAIR GAIT GAJO GAKS GALA GALE GALL GALS GAMA GAMB GAME GAMP GAMS GAMY GANE GANG GANS GANT GAOL GAPE GAPO GAPS GAPY GARB GARE GARI GARS GART GASH GASP GAST GATE GATH GATS GAUD GAUM GAUN GAUP GAUR GAUS GAVE GAWD GAWK GAWP GAWS GAYS GAZE GAZY GEAL GEAN GEAR GEAT GECK GEDS GEED GEEK GEEP GEES GEEZ GEIT GELD GELS GELT GEMS GENA GENE GENS GENT GENU GEOS GERE GERM GERS GERT GEST GETA GETS GEUM GHAT GHEE GHIS GIBE GIBS GIDS GIED GIEN GIES GIFT GIGA GIGS GILA GILD GILL GILT GIMP GING GINK GINN GINS GIOS GIPS GIRD GIRL GIRN GIRO GIRR GIRT GISM GIST GITE GITS GIVE GIZZ GJUS GLAD GLAM GLED GLEE GLEG GLEI GLEN GLEY GLIA GLIB GLID GLIM GLIT GLOB GLOM GLOP GLOW GLUE GLUG GLUM GLUT GNAR GNAT GNAW GNOW GNUS GOAD GOAF GOAL GOAS GOAT GOBI GOBO GOBS GOBY GODS GOEL GOER GOES GOEY GOFF GOGO GOJI GOLD GOLE GOLF GOLP GONE GONG GONK GONS GOOD GOOF GOOG GOOK GOOL GOON GOOP GOOR GOOS GORA GORE GORI GORM GORP GORY GOSH GOSS GOTH GOUK GOUT GOVS GOWD GOWF GOWK GOWL GOWN GOYS GRAB GRAD GRAM GRAN GRAT GRAV GRAY GREE GREN GREW GREX GREY GRID GRIG GRIM GRIN GRIP GRIS GRIT GROG GROK GROT GROW GRRL GRUB GRUE GRUM GUAN GUAR GUBS GUCK GUDE GUES GUFF GUGA GUID GULA GULE GULF GULL GULP GULS GULY GUMP GUMS GUNG GUNK GUNS GUPS GURL GURN GURS GURU GUSH GUST GUTS GUVS GUYS GYAL GYBE GYMP GYMS GYNY GYPS GYRE GYRI GYRO GYTE GYVE
HAAF HAAR HABU HACK HADE HADJ HADS HAED HAEM HAEN HAES HAET HAFF HAFT HAGG HAGS HAHA HAHS HAIK HAIL HAIN HAIR HAJI HAJJ HAKA HAKE HAKU HALE HALF HALL HALM HALO HALT HAME HAMS HAND HANG HANK HANT HAOS HAPS HAPU HARD HARE HARK HARL HARM HARN HARO HARP HART HASH HASK HASP HASS HAST HATE HATH HATS HAUD HAUF HAUL HAUT HAVE HAWK HAWM HAWS HAYS HAZE HAZY HEAD HEAL HEAP HEAR HEAT HEBE HECH HECK HEED HEEL HEFT HEHS HEID HEIL HEIR HELD HELE HELL HELM HELO HELP HEME HEMP HEMS HEND HENS HENT HEPS HEPT HERB HERD HERE HERL HERM HERN HERO HERS HERY HESP HEST HETE HETH HETS HEWN HEWS HEYS HICK HIDE HIED HIES HIGH HIKE HILA HILD HILI HILL HILT HIMS HIND HING HINS HINT HIOI HIPS HIPT HIRE HISH HISN HISS HIST HITS HIVE HIYA HIZZ HOAR HOAS HOAX HOBO HOBS HOCK HODS HOED HOER HOES HOGG HOGH HOGS HOHA HOHS HOIK HOKA HOKE HOKI HOLD HOLE HOLK HOLM HOLP HOLS HOLT HOLY HOMA HOME HOMO HOMS HOMY HOND HONE HONG HONK HONS HOOD HOOF HOOK HOON HOOP HOOR HOOT HOPE HOPS HORA HORE HORI HORN HORS HOSE HOSS HOST HOTE HOTS HOUF HOUR HOUT HOVE HOWE HOWF HOWK HOWL HOWS HOYA HOYS HUBS HUCK HUED HUER HUES HUFF HUGE HUGS HUGY HUHU HUIA HUIC HUIS HULA HULE HULK HULL HUMA HUMF HUMP HUMS HUNG HUNH HUNK HUNS HUNT HUPS HURL HURT HUSH HUSK HUSO HUSS HUTS HWAN HWYL HYED HYEN HYES HYKE HYLA HYLE HYMN HYPE HYPO HYPS HYTE
IAMB IBEX IBIS ICED ICER ICES ICHS ICKY ICON IDEA IDEE IDEM IDES IDLE IDLY IDOL IDYL IFFY IGAD IGGS IGLU IKAN IKAT IKON ILEA ILEX ILIA ILKA ILKS ILLS ILLY IMAM IMID IMMY IMPI IMPS INBY INCH INFO INGO INGS INIA INKS INKY INLY INNS INRO INTI INTO IONS IOTA IRED IRES IRID IRIS IRKS IRON ISBA ISIT ISLE ISMS ISNA ISOS ITAS ITCH ITEM IURE IWIS IXIA IZAR
JAAP JABS JACK JADE JAFA JAGA JAGG JAGS JAIL JAKE JAKS JAMB JAMS JANE JANN JAPE JAPS JARK JARL JARP JARS JASP JASS JASY JATO JAUK JAUP JAVA JAWS JAXY JAYS JAZY JAZZ JEAN JEAT JEDI JEED JEEL JEEP JEER JEES JEEZ JEFE JEFF JEHU JELL JEON JERK JESS JEST JETE JETS JEUX JEWS JIAO JIBB JIBE JIBS JIFF JIGS JILL JILT JIMP JINK JINN JINS JINX JIRD JISM JIVE JIVY JIZZ JOBE JOBS JOCK JOCO JOES JOEY JOGS JOHN JOIN JOKE JOKY JOLE JOLL JOLS JOLT JOMO JONG JOOK JORS JOSH JOSS JOTA JOTS JOUK JOUR JOWL JOWS JOYS JUBA JUBE JUCO JUDO JUDS JUDY JUGA JUGS JUJU JUKE JUKU JUMP JUNK JUPE JURA JURE JURY JUST JUTE JUTS JUVE JYNX
KAAL KAAS KABS KACK KADE KADI KAED KAES KAFS KAGO KAGU KAID KAIE KAIF KAIK KAIL KAIM KAIN KAIS KAKA KAKI KAKS KALE KALI KAMA KAME KAMI KANA KANE KANG KANS KANT KAON KAPA KAPH KARA KARK KARN KARO KART KATA KATI KATS KAVA KAWA KAWS KAYO KAYS KAZI KBAR KEAS KEBS KECK KEDS KEEF KEEK KEEL KEEN KEEP KEET KEFS KEGS KEIR KEKS KELL KELP KELT KEMB KEMP KENO KENS KENT KEPI KEPS KEPT KERB KERF KERN KERO KESH KEST KETA KETE KETO KETS KEWL KEYS KHAF KHAN KHAT KHET KHIS KHOR KHUD KIBE KICK KIDS KIEF KIER KIEV KIFF KIFS KIKE KILD KILL KILN KILO KILP KILT KINA KIND KINE KING KINK KINO KINS KIPE KIPP KIPS KIRK KIRN KIRS KISH KISS KIST KITE KITH KITS KIVA KIWI KLAP KLIK KNAG KNAP KNAR KNEE KNEW KNIT KNOB KNOP KNOT KNOW KNUB KNUR KNUT KOAN KOAP KOAS KOBO KOBS KOEL KOFF KOHA KOHL KOIS KOJI KOKA KOLA KOLO KOND KONK KONS KOOK KOPH KOPS KORA KORE KORO KORS KORU KOSS KOTO KOWS KRAB KRIS KSAR KUDO KUDU KUEH KUES KUFI KUIA KUKU KULA KUNA KUNE KURI KURU KUTA KUTI KUTU KUZU KVAS KYAK KYAR KYAT KYBO KYES KYLE KYND KYNE KYPE KYTE KYUS
LABS LACE LACK LACS LACY LADE LADS LADY LAER LAGS LAHS LAIC LAID LAIK LAIN LAIR LAKE LAKH LAKY LALL LAMA LAMB LAME LAMP LAMS LANA LAND LANE LANG LANK LANT LANX LAPS LARD LARE LARI LARK LARN LARS LASE LASH LASS LAST LATE LATH LATI LATS LATU LAUD LAUF LAVA LAVE LAVS LAWK LAWN LAWS LAYS LAZE LAZO LAZY LEAD LEAF LEAK LEAL LEAM LEAN LEAP LEAR LEAS LEAT LECH LEED LEEK LEEP LEER LEES LEET LEFT LEGS LEHR LEIR LEIS LEKE LEKS LEKU LEME LEND LENG LENO LENS LENT LEPS LEPT LERE LERP LESS LEST LETS LEUD LEVA LEVE LEVO LEVY LEWD LEYS LEZZ LIAR LIAS LIBS LICE LICH LICK LIDO LIDS LIED LIEF LIEN LIER LIES LIEU LIFE LIFT LIGS LIKE LILL LILO LILT LILY LIMA LIMB LIME LIMN LIMO LIMP LIMY LIND LINE LING LINK LINN LINO LINS LINT LINY LION LIPA LIPE LIPO LIPS LIRA LIRE LIRI LIRK LISK LISP LIST LITE LITH LITS LITU LIVE LOAD LOAF LOAM LOAN LOBE LOBI LOBO LOBS LOCA LOCH LOCI LOCK LOCO LODE LODS LOFT LOGE LOGO LOGS LOGY LOID LOIN LOIR LOKE LOLL LOMA LOME LONE LONG LOOF LOOK LOOM LOON LOOP LOOR LOOS LOOT LOPE LOPS LORD LORE LORN LORY LOSE LOSH LOSS LOST LOTA LOTE LOTH LOTI LOTO LOTS LOUD LOUN LOUP LOUR LOUS LOUT LOVE LOWE LOWN LOWP LOWS LOWT LOYS LUAU LUBE LUCE LUCK LUDE LUDO LUDS LUES LUFF LUGE LUGS LUIT LUKE LULL LULU LUMA LUMP LUMS LUNA LUNE LUNG LUNK LUNT LUNY LURE LURK LURS LUSH LUSK LUST LUTE LUTZ LUVS LUXE LWEI LYAM LYCH LYES LYME LYMS LYNE LYNX LYRA LYRE LYSE LYTE
MAAR MAAS MABE MACE MACH MACK MACS MADE MADS MAES MAGE MAGG MAGI MAGS MAHA MAID MAIK MAIL MAIM MAIN MAIR MAKE MAKI MAKO MAKS MALA MALE MALI MALL MALM MALS MALT MAMA MAMS MANA MAND MANE MANG MANI MANO MANS MANY MAPS MARA MARC MARD MARE MARG MARK MARL MARM MARS MART MARY MASA MASE MASH MASK MASS MAST MASU MATE MATH MATS MATT MATY MAUD MAUL MAUN MAUT MAWK MAWN MAWR MAWS MAXI MAYA MAYO MAYS MAZE MAZY MEAD MEAL MEAN MEAT MECK MEDS MEED MEEK MEER MEES MEET MEFF MEGA MEGS MEIN MELA MELD MELL MELS MELT MEME MEMO MEMS MEND MENE MENG MENO MENT MENU MEOU MEOW MERC MERE MERI MERK MERL MESA MESE MESH MESS META METE METH METS MEUS MEVE MEWL MEWS MEZE MEZZ MHOS MIBS MICA MICE MICH MICK MICO MICS MIDI MIDS MIEN MIFF MIGG MIGS MIHA MIHI MIKE MILD MILE MILF MILK MILL MILO MILS MILT MIME MINA MIND MINE MING MINI MINK MINO MINT MINX MINY MIPS MIRE MIRI MIRK MIRO MIRS MIRV MIRY MISE MISO MISS MIST MITE MITT MITY MIXT MIXY MIZZ MNAS MOAI MOAN MOAS MOAT MOBE MOBS MOBY MOCH MOCK MOCS MODE MODI MODS MOER MOES MOFO MOGS MOHR MOIL MOIT MOJO MOKE MOKI MOKO MOLA MOLD MOLE MOLL MOLS MOLT MOLY MOME MOMI MOMS MONA MONG MONK MONO MONS MONY MOOD MOOI MOOK MOOL MOON MOOP MOOR MOOS MOOT MOPE MOPS MOPY MORA MORE MORN MORS MORT MOSE MOSH MOSK MOSS MOST MOTE MOTH MOTI MOTS MOTT MOTU MOUE MOUP MOUS MOVE MOWA MOWN MOWS MOXA MOYA MOYL MOYS MOZE MOZO MOZZ MUCH MUCK MUDS MUFF MUGG MUGS MUID MUIL MUIR MULE MULL MUMM MUMP MUMS MUMU MUNG MUNI MUNS MUNT MUON MURA MURE MURK MURL MURR MUSE MUSH MUSK MUSO MUSS MUST MUTE MUTI MUTS MUTT MUZZ MWAH MYAL MYCS MYNA MYTH MYXO MZEE
NAAM NAAN NABE NABK NABS NACH NADA NADS NAFF NAGA NAGS NAIF NAIK NAIL NAIN NALA NAME NAMS NAMU NANA NANE NANG NANS NAOI NAOS NAPA NAPE NAPS NARC NARD NARE NARK NARY NATS NAVE NAVY NAYS NAZE NAZI NEAL NEAP NEAR NEAT NEBS NECK NEDS NEED NEEM NEEP NEFS NEGS NEIF NEKS NEMA NEMN NENE NEON NEPS NERD NERK NESH NESS NEST NETE NETS NETT NEUK NEUM NEVE NEVI NEWS NEWT NEXT NGAI NIBS NICE NICK NIDE NIDI NIDS NIED NIEF NIES NIFE NIFF NIGH NILL NILS NIMB NIMS NINE NIPA NIPS NIRL NISH NISI NITE NITS NIXE NIXY NOAH NOBS NOCK NODE NODI NODS NOEL NOES NOGG NOGS NOIL NOIR NOLE NOLL NOLO NOMA NOME NOMS NONA NONE NONG NONI NOOB NOOK NOON NOOP NOPE NORI NORK NORM NOSE NOSH NOSY NOTA NOTE NOTT NOUL NOUN NOUP NOUS NOUT NOVA NOWL NOWN NOWS NOWT NOWY NOYS NUBS NUDE NUFF NUKE NULL NUMB NUNS NURD NURL NURR NURS NUTS NYAS NYED NYES
OAFS OAKS OAKY OARS OARY OAST OATH OATS OATY OBAS OBES OBEY OBIA OBIS OBIT OBOE OBOL OBOS OCAS OCCY OCHE OCTA ODAH ODAL ODAS ODDS ODEA ODES ODIC ODOR ODSO ODYL OFAY OFFS OFFY OGAM OGEE OGLE OGRE OHED OHIA OHMS OIKS OILS OILY OINK OINT OKAS OKAY OKEH OKES OKRA OKTA OLDE OLDS OLDY OLEA OLEO OLES OLID OLIO OLLA OLMS OLPE OMBU OMEN OMER OMIT OMOV ONCE ONER ONES ONIE ONLY ONOS ONST ONTO ONUS ONYX OOFS OOFY OOHS OOMS OONS OONT OOPS OOSE OOSY OOTS OOZE OOZY OPAH OPAL OPED OPEN OPES OPPO OPTS OPUS ORAD ORAL ORBS ORBY ORCA ORCS ORDO ORDS ORES ORFE ORFS ORGY ORLE ORRA ORTS ORYX ORZO OSAR OSES OSSA OTIC OTTO OUCH OUDS OUKS OULD OULK OUMA OUPA OUPH OUPS OURN OURS OUST OUTS OUZO OVAL OVEL OVEN OVER OVUM OWED OWER OWES OWLS OWLY OWNS OWRE OWSE OWTS OXEN OXER OXES OXID OXIM OYER OYES OYEZ PAAL
PAAN PACA PACE PACK PACO PACS PACT PACY PADI PADS PAGE PAHS PAID PAIK PAIL PAIN PAIR PAIS PALE PALL PALM PALP PALS PALY PAMS PAND PANE PANG PANS PANT PAPA PAPE PAPS PARA PARD PARE PARK PARP PARR PARS PART PASE PASH PASS PAST PATE PATH PATS PATU PATY PAUA PAUL PAVE PAVS PAWA PAWK PAWL PAWN PAWS PAYS PEAG PEAK PEAL PEAN PEAR PEAS PEAT PEBA PECH PECK PECS PEDS PEED PEEK PEEL PEEN PEEP PEER PEES PEGH PEGS PEHS PEIN PEKE PELA PELE PELF PELL PELS PELT PEND PENE PENI PENK PENS PENT PEON PEPO PEPS PERE PERI PERK PERM PERN PERP PERT PERV PESO PEST PETS PEWS PFFT PFUI PHAT PHEW PHIS PHIZ PHOH PHON PHOS PHOT PHUT PIAL PIAN PIAS PICA PICE PICK PICS PIED PIER PIES PIET PIGS PIKA PIKE PIKI PILA PILE PILI PILL PILY PIMA PIMP PINA PINE PING PINK PINS PINT PINY PION PIOY PIPA PIPE PIPI PIPS PIPY PIRL PIRN PIRS PISE PISH PISO PISS PITA PITH PITS PITY PIUM PIXY PIZE PLAN PLAP PLAT PLAY PLEA PLEB PLED PLEW PLEX PLIE PLIM PLOD PLOP PLOT PLOW PLOY PLUE PLUG PLUM PLUS POAS POCK POCO PODS POEM POEP POET POGO POGY POIS POKE POKY POLE POLK POLL POLO POLS POLT POLY POME POMO POMP POMS POND PONE PONG PONK PONS PONT PONY POOD POOF POOH POOK POOL POON POOP POOR POOS POOT POPE POPS PORE PORK PORN PORT PORY POSE POSH POSS POST POSY POTE POTS POTT POUF POUK POUR POUT POWN POWS POXY POZZ PRAD PRAM PRAO PRAT PRAU PRAY PREE PREM PREP PREX PREY PREZ PRIG PRIM PROA PROB PROD PROF PROG PROM PROO PROP PROS PROW PRUH PRYS PSIS PSST PTUI PUBE PUBS PUCE PUCK PUDS PUDU PUER PUFF PUGH PUGS PUHA PUIR PUJA PUKA PUKE PUKU PUKY PULA PULE PULI PULK PULL PULP PULS PULU PULY PUMA PUMP PUMY PUNA PUNG PUNK PUNS PUNT PUNY PUPA PUPS PUPU PURE PURI PURL PURR PURS PUSH PUSS PUTS PUTT PUTZ PUYS PYAS PYAT PYES PYET PYIC PYIN PYNE PYOT PYRE PYRO QADI
QAID QATS QINS QOPH QUAD QUAG QUAI QUAT QUAY QUEP QUEY QUID QUIM QUIN QUIP QUIT QUIZ QUOD QUOP
RABI RACA RACE RACH RACK RACY RADE RADS RAFF RAFT RAGA RAGE RAGG RAGI RAGS RAGU RAHS RAIA RAID RAIK RAIL RAIN RAIS RAIT RAJA RAKE RAKI RAKU RALE RAMI RAMP RAMS RANA RAND RANG RANI RANK RANT RAPE RAPS RAPT RARE RARK RASE RASH RASP RAST RATA RATE RATH RATO RATS RATU RAUN RAVE RAVS RAWN RAWS RAYA RAYS RAZE RAZZ READ REAK REAL REAM REAN REAP REAR REBS RECK RECS REDD REDE REDO REDS REED REEF REEK REEL REEN REES REFS REFT REGO REGS REHS REIF REIK REIN REIS REKE RELY REMS REND RENK RENS RENT RENY REOS REPO REPP REPS RESH REST RETE RETS REVS REWS RHEA RHOS RHUS RIAD RIAL RIAS RIBA RIBS RICE RICH RICK RICY RIDE RIDS RIEL RIEM RIFE RIFF RIFS RIFT RIGG RIGS RILE RILL RIMA RIME RIMS RIMU RIMY RIND RINE RING RINK RINS RIOT RIPE RIPP RIPS RIPT RISE RISK RISP RITE RITS RITT RITZ RIVA RIVE RIVO RIZA ROAD ROAM ROAN ROAR ROBE ROBS ROCH ROCK ROCS RODE RODS ROED ROES ROIL ROIN ROJI ROKE ROKS ROKY ROLE ROLF ROLL ROMA ROMP ROMS RONE RONG RONT RONZ ROOD ROOF ROOK ROOM ROON ROOP ROOS ROOT ROPE ROPY RORE RORT RORY ROSE ROST ROSY ROTA ROTE ROTI ROTL ROTO ROTS ROUE ROUL ROUM ROUP ROUT ROUX ROVE ROWS ROWT RUBE RUBS RUBY RUCK RUCS RUDD RUDE RUDS RUED RUER RUES RUFF RUGA RUGS RUIN RUKH RULE RULY RUME RUMP RUMS RUND RUNE RUNG RUNS RUNT RURP RURU RUSA RUSE RUSH RUSK RUST RUTH RUTS RYAL RYAS RYES RYFE RYKE RYND RYOT RYPE
SAAG SABE SABS SACK SACS SADE SADI SADO SADS SAFE SAFT SAGA SAGE SAGO SAGS SAGY SAIC SAID SAIL SAIM SAIN SAIR SAIS SAKE SAKI SALE SALL SALP SALS SALT SAMA SAME SAMP SAMS SAND SANE SANG SANK SANS SANT SAPS SARD SARI SARK SARS SASH SASS SATE SATI SAUL SAUT SAVE SAVS SAWN SAWS SAXE SAYS SCAB SCAD SCAG SCAM SCAN SCAR SCAT SCAW SCOG SCOP SCOT SCOW SCRY SCUD SCUG SCUL SCUM SCUP SCUR SCUT SCYE SEAL SEAM SEAN SEAR SEAS SEAT SECH SECO SECS SECT SEED SEEK SEEL SEEM SEEN SEEP SEER SEES SEGO SEGS SEIF SEIK SEIL SEIR SEIS SEKT SELD SELE SELF SELL SELS SEME SEMI SENA SEND SENE SENS SENT SEPS SEPT SERA SERE SERF SERK SERR SERS SESE SESH SESS SETA SETS SETT SEWN SEWS SEXT SEXY SEYS SHAD SHAG SHAH SHAM SHAN SHAT SHAW SHAY SHEA SHED SHES SHET SHEW SHIM SHIN SHIP SHIR SHIT SHIV SHMO SHOD SHOE SHOG SHOO SHOP SHOT SHOW SHRI SHUL SHUN SHUT SHWA SIAL SIBB SIBS SICE SICH SICK SICS SIDA SIDE SIDH SIEN SIES SIFT SIGH SIGN SIJO SIKA SIKE SILD SILE SILK SILL SILO SILT SIMA SIMI SIMP SIMS SIND SINE SING SINH SINK SINS SIPE SIPS SIRE SIRI SIRS SISS SIST SITE SITH SITS SITZ SIZE SIZY SJOE SKAG SKAS SKAT SKAW SKEE SKEG SKEN SKEO SKEP SKER SKET SKEW SKID SKIM SKIN SKIO SKIP SKIS SKIT SKOL SKRY SKUA SKUG SKYF SKYR SLAB SLAE SLAG SLAM SLAP SLAT SLAW SLAY SLEB SLED SLEE SLEW SLEY SLID SLIM SLIP SLIT SLOB SLOE SLOG SLOP SLOT SLOW SLUB SLUE SLUG SLUM SLUR SLUT SMEE SMEW SMIR SMIT SMOG SMUG SMUR SMUT SNAB SNAG SNAP SNAR SNAW SNEB SNED SNEE SNIB SNIG SNIP SNIT SNOB SNOD SNOG SNOT SNOW SNUB SNUG SNYE SOAK SOAP SOAR SOBA SOBS SOCA SOCK SOCS SODA SODS SOFA SOFT SOGS SOHO SOHS SOIL SOJA SOKE SOLA SOLD SOLE SOLI SOLO SOLS SOMA SOME SOMS SOMY SONE SONG SONS SOOK SOOL SOOM SOON SOOP SOOT SOPH SOPS SORA SORB SORD SORE SORI SORN SORT SOSS SOTH SOTS SOUK SOUL SOUM SOUP SOUR SOUS SOUT SOVS SOWF SOWL SOWM SOWN SOWP SOWS SOYA SOYS SPAE SPAG SPAM SPAN SPAR SPAS SPAT SPAW SPAY SPAZ SPEC SPED SPEK SPET SPEW SPIC SPIE SPIF SPIK SPIM SPIN SPIT SPIV SPOD SPOT SPRY SPUD SPUE SPUG SPUN SPUR SRIS STAB STAG STAP STAR STAT STAW STAY STED STEM STEN STEP STET STEW STEY STIE STIM STIR STOA STOB STOP STOT STOW STUB STUD STUM STUN STYE SUBA SUBS SUCH SUCK SUDD SUDS SUED SUER SUES SUET SUGH SUGO SUGS SUID SUIT SUKH SUKS SULK SULU SUMO SUMP SUMS SUMY SUNG SUNI SUNK SUNN SUNS SUPE SUPS SUQS SURA SURD SURE SURF SUSS SUSU SWAB SWAD SWAG SWAM SWAN SWAP SWAT SWAY SWEE SWEY SWIG SWIM SWIZ SWOB SWOP SWOT SWUM SYBO SYCE SYED SYEN SYES SYKE SYLI SYNC SYND SYNE SYPE SYPH
TAAL TABI TABS TABU TACE TACH TACK TACO TACT TADS TAED TAEL TAES TAGS TAHA TAHR TAIG TAIL TAIN TAIS TAIT TAKA TAKE TAKI TAKS TAKY TALA TALC TALE TALI TALK TALL TAME TAMP TAMS TANA TANE TANG TANH TANK TANS TAOS TAPA TAPE TAPS TAPU TARA TARE TARN TARO TARP TARS TART TASH TASK TASS TATE TATH TATS TATT TATU TAUS TAUT TAVA TAVS TAWA TAWS TAWT TAXA TAXI TAYS TEAD TEAK TEAL TEAM TEAR TEAS TEAT TECH TECS TEDS TEDY TEED TEEK TEEL TEEM TEEN TEER TEES TEFF TEFS TEGG TEGS TEGU TEHR TEIL TEIN TELA TELD TELE TELL TELS TELT TEME TEMP TEMS TEND TENE TENS TENT TEPA TERF TERM TERN TEST TETE TETH TETS TEWS TEXT THAE THAN THAR THAT THAW THEE THEM THEN THEW THEY THIG THIN THIO THIR THIS THON THOU THRO THRU THUD THUG THUS TIAN TIAR TICE TICH TICK TICS TIDE TIDS TIDY TIED TIER TIES TIFF TIFT TIGE TIGS TIKA TIKE TIKI TIKS TILE TILL TILS TILT TIME TINA TIND TINE TING TINK TINS TINT TINY TIPI TIPS TIPT TIRE TIRL TIRO TIRR TITE TITI TITS TIVY TIZZ TOAD TOBY TOCK TOCO TOCS TODS TODY TOEA TOED TOES TOEY TOFF TOFT TOFU TOGA TOGE TOGS TOHO TOIL TOIT TOKE TOKO TOLA TOLD TOLE TOLL TOLT TOLU TOMB TOME TOMO TOMS TONE TONG TONK TONS TONY TOOK TOOL TOOM TOON TOOT TOPE TOPH TOPI TOPO TOPS TORA TORC TORE TORI TORN TORO TORR TORS TORT TORY TOSA TOSE TOSH TOSS TOST TOTE TOTS TOUK TOUN TOUR TOUT TOWN TOWS TOWT TOWY TOYO TOYS TOZE TRAD TRAM TRAP TRAT TRAY TREE TREF TREK TRES TRET TREW TREY TREZ TRIE TRIG TRIM TRIN TRIO TRIP TROD TROG TRON TROP TROT TROW TROY TRUE TRUG TRYE TRYP TSAR TSKS TUAN TUBA TUBE TUBS TUCK TUFA TUFF TUFT TUGS TUIS TULE TUMP TUMS TUNA TUND TUNE TUNG TUNS TUNY TUPS TURD TURF TURK TURM TURN TUSH TUSK TUTS TUTU TUZZ TWAE TWAL TWAS TWAT TWAY TWEE TWIG TWIN TWIT TWOS TYDE TYED TYEE TYER TYES TYGS TYIN TYKE TYMP TYND TYNE TYPE TYPO TYPP TYPY TYRE TYRO TYTE TZAR
UDAL UDON UDOS UEYS UFOS UGHS UGLY UKES ULAN ULES ULEX ULNA ULUS ULVA UMBO UMMA UMPH UMPS UMPY UMRA UMUS UNAI UNAU UNBE UNCE UNCI UNCO UNDE UNDO UNDY UNIS UNIT UNTO UPAS UPBY UPDO UPGO UPON UPSY UPTA URAO URBS URDE URDS URDY UREA URES URGE URIC URNS URPS URSA URUS URVA USED USER USES UTAS UTES UTIS UTUS UVAE UVAS UVEA
VACS VADE VAES VAGI VAGS VAIL VAIN VAIR VALE VALI VAMP VANE VANG VANS VANT VARA VARE VARS VARY VASA VASE VAST VATS VATU VAUS VAUT VAVS VAWS VEAL VEEP VEER VEES VEGA VEGO VEHM VEIL VEIN VELA VELD VELE VELL VENA VEND VENT VERA VERB VERD VERS VERT VERY VEST VETO VETS VEXT VIAE VIAL VIAS VIBE VIBS VICE VIDE VIDS VIED VIER VIES VIEW VIGA VIGS VILD VILE VILL VIMS VINA VINE VINO VINS VINT VINY VIOL VIRE VIRL VISA VISE VITA VITE VIVA VIVE VIVO VIZY VLEI VLOG VOAR VOES VOID VOIP VOLA VOLE VOLK VOLS VOLT VORS VOTE VOWS VRIL VROT VROU VROW VUGG VUGH VUGS VULN VUMS
WAAC WABS WACK WADD WADE WADI WADS WADT WADY WAES WAFF WAFT WAGE WAGS WAID WAIF WAIL WAIN WAIR WAIS WAIT WAKA WAKE WAKF WALD WALE WALI WALK WALL WALY WAME WAND WANE WANG WANK WANS WANT WANY WAPS WAQF WARB WARD WARE WARK WARM WARN WARP WARS WART WARY WASE WASH WASP WAST WATE WATS WATT WAUK WAUL WAUR WAVE WAVY WAWA WAWE WAWL WAWS WAXY WAYS WEAK WEAL WEAN WEAR WEBS WEDS WEED WEEK WEEL WEEM WEEN WEEP WEER WEES WEET WEFT WEID WEIL WEIR WEKA WELD WELK WELL WELS WELT WEMB WEMS WENA WEND WENS WENT WEPT WERE WERO WERT WEST WETA WETS WEXE WEYS WHAE WHAM WHAP WHAT WHEE WHEN WHET WHEW WHEY WHID WHIG WHIM WHIN WHIO WHIP WHIR WHIT WHIZ WHOA WHOM WHOP WHOT WHOW WHUP WHYS WICE WICH WICK WIDE WIEL WIFE WIGS WIKI WILD WILE WILI WILL WILT WILY WIMP WIND WINE WING WINK WINN WINO WINS WINY WIPE WIRE WIRY WISE WISH WISP WISS WIST WITE WITH WITS WIVE WOAD WOCK WOES WOFS WOGS WOKE WOKS WOLD WOLF WOMB WONK WONS WONT WOOD WOOF WOOL WOON WOOS WOOT WOPS WORD WORE WORK WORM WORN WORT WOST WOTS WOVE WOWF WOWS WRAP WREN WRIT WUDS WUDU WULL WUSS WYCH WYES WYLE WYND WYNN WYNS WYTE
XRAY XYST
YAAR YABA YACK YADS YAFF YAGI YAGS YAHS YAKS YALD YALE YAMS YANG YANK YAPP YAPS YARD YARE YARK YARN YARR YATE YAUD YAUP YAWL YAWN YAWP YAWS YAWY YAYS YBET YEAD YEAH YEAN YEAR YEAS YEBO YECH YEDE YEED YEGG YELD YELK YELL YELM YELP YELT YENS YEPS YERD YERK YESK YEST YETI YETT YEUK YEVE YEWS YGOE YIDS YIKE YILL YINS YIPE YIPS YIRD YIRK YIRR YITE YLEM YLKE YMPE YMPT YOBS YOCK YODE YODH YODS YOGA YOGH YOGI YOKE YOKS YOLD YOLK YOMP YOND YONI YONT YOOF YOOP YORE YORK YORP YOUK YOUR YOUS YOWE YOWL YOWS YUAN YUCA YUCH YUCK YUFT YUGA YUGS YUKE YUKO YUKS YUKY YULE YUMP YUNX YUPS YURT YUTZ YUZU YWIS
ZACK ZAGS ZANY ZAPS ZARF ZARI ZATI ZEAL ZEAS ZEBU ZEDS ZEES ZEIN ZEKS ZELS ZEPS ZERK ZERO ZEST ZETA ZEZE ZHOS ZIFF ZIGS ZILA ZILL ZIMB ZINC ZINE ZING ZINS ZIPS ZITE ZITI ZITS ZIZZ ZOBO ZOBU ZOEA ZOIC ZOLS ZONA ZONE ZONK ZOOM ZOON ZOOS ZOOT ZORI ZOUK ZULU ZUPA ZURF ZYGA ZYME ZZZS

Free Agents
Just when I think these write-ups and live reactions couldn't get any longer, I go and watch possibly my new favorite season. Can definitely see why I've been told so much about this being a great run of seasons, this one was a blast to watch and had a great cast from the jump. Jump to the end for an overall thoughts and tl/dr version of my thoughts on the season as a whole. Also have a bit at the end about the Jordan vs Bananas feud that might be controversial so check that out as well.
Other parts if you feel like checking the previous ones out:
Part 1: Fresh Meat - Duel 2
Part 2: The Ruins
Part 3: Fresh Meat 2
Part 4: Cutthroat and Rivals
Part 5: Battle of the Exes
Part 6: Battle of the Seasons
Part 7: Rivals 2
EP 1:
Individual competitors?
Johnny and Frank again...yay...
Jonna/Jasmine fourth season in a row?
Johnny just being called Bananas now?
If Sarah isn't on this season of individual competitors I'll be pissed.
"Whether you like how I play the game oor not, I play it well." Frank off to a great and humble start.
Laurel!, but the wrong Emily :/ I wanna see these two compete.
Fuck that's a lot of people.
God dammit, Pennsetucky again?!
Nice to see David again.
I see no Sarah...
CT showing up with a beard and looking not interested at all?
This Challenge house looks more like a silicon valley office.
Big dude with mohawk seems like he could come in and make an impact.
God damn Jasmine. Coming in strong. "I want dick and balls, all day every day."
"Not Johnny bananas, ewww" Nany speaking truth.
I don't have a girlfriend, but I made a pact with Heather. What in the fuck?!
I swear Johnny is wearing the shirt he wore from the Rivals 2 reunion on this first episode of Free Agents.
This house seems like they'll have a lot more to actually do with free time.
I forgot Laurel and Cara made kind of a bond over Rivals 1. Laurel comes off as a bitch a lot, but I like her.
This Jessica chick is kind of annoying instantly.
Heights being the first challenge makes me instantly remember Casey. Does Casey ever come back? lol
I still have to feel out how this challenge exactly works. I'm a tiny bit confused on the structure.
Nia seems like she's definitely getting the better of the teams.
Johnny and Laurel instantly taking the lead on assigning roles.
"There are no genders in this stairwell. Just bodies and elbows being thrown."
Ok, these challenges are starting off rough!
How the hell is Frank so ahead when they're chained together?
Latoya looks like she regrets her life choices.
When did CT become the guy you put on puzzles?!!?
Damn, Brandon almost clutched it out!
"Speed is an issue." Proceeds to babystep.
Good on Jessica. Went faster across the rolling platform than you did the stationary one.
It's all up to Pennsetucky! And she fails miserably.
I'm liking that the politics is hard on this season instantly. Johnny wants the strong people out, but is afraid to throw the names out. The rest are thinking they want the weak people out. Johnny definitely has the better idea of things.
Ok, now that I see how this season's concept works I really like it. Basically the only safety is the winning team or the winning people. So politicks still matter, but there is a randon draw aspect that puts everyone up for grabs.
The only thing I'm not sure I like, is how is the order of you picking your board determined?
Jimmye going in! Wooo! Next up, please be Frank!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS Frank is going in! Is this his first ever elimination in 3 Challenges? I feel like he hasn't been in any before? He wussed out on the one he was supposed to go in on Seasons?
Damn Chet. That chin!
Fucking dammit Chet. Why couldn't you just take Frank out! Damn you Chet, you disappointment.
These girls just suck. They're all talking up their strength and speed but neither of them seem to have stopping power or grip.
Goodbyeeeee Pennsetucky! At least one of her or Frank was able to leave.
2:
Weird to start the episode with an establishing montage, but with a whole ton of blurred faces.
I really like Cohutta.
"I think Jasmine just wore her regular clothes." Is Jasmine the new Tonya? They said this same exact thing about Tonya on Fresh Meat lol
Some weird no-hands kissing. Followed immediately by Emilee just throwing herself at Dustin. Damn Dustin, having to beat these women off with a stick.
Guy-Girl pairs? The race for Laurel commences.
Why the sudden name change to "Bananas"? Lol it's dumb.
Swift picking Theresa? Nia goes next?! Laurel goes all the way to Cohutta? Damn
I anticipate Camilla yelling the shit out of Preston.
Leaving this comp up to knowing how to drive stick shift is shitty, but also hilarious.
Dustin, give the chick directions. You're literally just screaming "Nany" over and over again.
Emilee seems awful. Why couldn't we get the other Emily(I forgot Laurel and Emily were on Cutthroat lol) on the same season as Laurel?
Did they call Johnny Bananas simply because there is another Johnny on this season? This challenge is literally all Johnny screaming.
Did the guys have to be the ones driving? I saw a couple girls nod at knowing how to drive stick but haven't seen any driving yet?
There was just a quick cut through scene that didn't get near enough attention. Jasmine is on the bar shaking her ass and Dustin's face is close to her ass with his tongue out. What's not getting attention is Jessica like 2 feet behind them just standing there awkwardly waiting for Dustin to direct his attention back to her lmao
Nany calling Emilee a slut seems like the pot calling the kettle black. How many guys did she get with in Rivals 2? I ain't slut shaming, girl do what you want. But don't sling shit.
Laurel seems way more layed back and chill this season.
How the hell does CT end up getting stuck with all of the bar tab but also ends up catching shit from Camila and Nany?!
The Camila tornado lol
God damn these people get so god damn angry over nothing. Screaming and yelling at each other 3 hours later lmao
Neither even understand what is going on. These people get drunk and become psychotic.
Oh wait...is its pairs only the winning pair picks the two competing? Not all the top half? Oh shit! I really like this game mode. I wish there was just some extra layer to the randomness aspect.
Frank in again! Wooo! Hopefully Dustin doesn't quit out like Chet.
Eh, I actually think Frank has the advantage in this Elim. Damn.
Goodbye the lesser Emilee
Damn, I still gotta deal with Frank.
Dustin constantly saying "Little" Jessica weirds me out.
3:
That dude has a jiggly butt...
Leave Frank, LEAVE!!!! Please, dammit, please!
Dammit, he's sticking it out.
I swear I feel like I've seen this Isaac dude before.
Oh shit, someone about to get kicked? Frank?????
HAHA Johnny scooting away from Frank when TJ says he's contagious.
"They just saw the winner of this challenge walking away." Ugh, Frank shut up. You're not undefeated, you didn't win Rivals 2.
Nia goes around the house in her underwear and sucks her thumb? Damn, Isaac doesn't even look at her lmao
Preston and Latoya are literally kissing the wall at one point.
I know CT and Cara and all them went first, but how in the hell did they barely make it half way to everyone completing it with plenty of time?
Why the hell is Johnny talking shit on Jordan? lol He tried to readjust with one hand and dropped it. How is that show and bravado? Just holdover from Rivals with him and Marlon being on a run?
I hate the way Johnny and Camilla talk about their choices constantly. "You need to go in and prove yourself." or "I hate being around and seeing people avoiding going in when they should be going in." and all this shit. Just get rid of who you want and save who you want. Quit trying to color all this bullshit on it.
Why does he keep saying "That symbol" why can't he just say the skull and crossbones? Or the death symbol, or literally anything?
"Shut the fuck up Johnny!" I don't care how much shit people talk about Cara, or how whiny she is, I like her.
Johnny being the only one rooting for a rookie while his main strategy at all times is Rookies go in first. Johnny, the class act.
Everyone cheering Cara and Johnny comes in with "You're alright Nia, you didn't move!"
Don't go up and immediately hug Johnny! Damn you Cara!
I love the unabashed love that Laurel has for Cara now. These chicks hated each other and after Rivals you'd think they were siblings.
4:
I kept thinking the CBS all access image for the challenge was Johnny staring down Natalie Negrotti, but now looking at it, I'm wondering if it's Cara... I don't actually know if Natalie is ever even on The Challenge.
When did MTV get so sensitive with blurring out ass cheeks?
How can you come in to the challenge house and be mad about people hooking up in a different bed in the same room? That seems like standard operating procedure. So much so that people even hang up blankets and towels on the bunk beds? Aneesa just seems to more dislike Laurel lol
Bananas being great in this challenge
Isaac mentions a gameplan, but seems to do the exact opposite of what he was saying? lol "I'm going to sit back until I can get a few one on ones." Immediately runs ahead of everyone.
I need to mention again how much I love the Free Agents challenge style. Different teams and design every episode is great.
Jordan randomly talking shit... It's Bananas against like 5, who cares if it's girls, he can't do shit. Is this the start of the Jordan heel turn?
Isaac not even being able to stand up is hilarious.
Swift falling off his chair lmao
Aneesa and Laurel clearly have some beef. Jessica being a SNITCH! lol
Why are we arguing about the very first challenge? lol Jessica did one good thing and she's relying on that to talk shit? lol
Aneesa is definitely hoping to get by more by being a vet.
Jordan voting for Latoya twice? That goes against what Aneesa was trying to bitch about.
Latoya going off lol They seriously must not be showing something about Jordan. Everyone is getting annoyed as hell with him. Either that, or Johnny is just poisoning the house on him. Which I could also see.
Latoya saying it's because Jordan didn't tell her, but did everyone else? lol what?
Why are they acting like Jordan flipped out on them? What in the hell are they talking about? Latoya went off on Jordan. lol What am I missing? Why is it all hanging on only Jordan for his vote?
Fuck, Brandon had to get Zach. God dammit. Brandon seriously can't catch a break.
Least it's a speed challenge. Think Brandon may have an upper hand.
Cara kicking ass.
Damn, bummer to see Brandon go so quick again. I swear we have not been able to see the actual potential of Brandon.
How can you hate how Laurel plays the game? She literally learned from Kenny and Johnny?
5:
Johnny just seems to like calling people cocky. He said the same shit about Wes, CT, and all kinds of players in the past.
Theresa has been the first or second girl picked every time. When did Theresa become the expected comp beast?
Preston keeps getting picked last, but keeps ending up on the winning team.
CT covering Laurel's mouth lmao Don't give the apposing team tips!
Well the commercial tease just gave away who won. Devyn seems to be going in and Theresa had something to do with it?
"The thing I like about going second..." Yes we hear it every episode, we get itttttt
I feel like editing has it out for Jordan. I hear people talk more about Jordan's attitude than we have really seen at all. Johnny talking about him being "Mr Tryhard, and I can do anything you can do but better." really hasn't come across at all.
The gloves really seemed like a disadvantage. Multiple people seemed to slip because of their gloves and Preston takes his off to get better grip.
Hahahah Cohutta telling Johnny to just worry about drying off! I love it.
Guess the commercial teaser didn't give away the winners.
Cara instantly wanting to call for Johnny! Do it!
Wait, when did it suddenly become Preston and Laurel? It was Johnny! Who the hell said Preston!?!
All the guys on the losing team are strong except Preston, you'd be stupid to vote Preston in.
Theresa you pussy bitch! lol
Ok, Laurel you're acting way too much like hot shit walking up there. Someone's gotta catch votes, suck it up.
Why didn't they do the blind votes like in Cutthroat for this season. No diliberations or team meetings, just make it a true individual game and hidden votes?
See, Bananas at least openly accepting catching votes. He says "Finally" when Cara votes for him. He doesn't get all pissy, doesn't stare people down, just accepts it. That is a Johnny Bananas I want to see!
Though he does instantly talk up all kinds of shit about Jordan, again nothing of which we have really seen. He more just seems like he has a problem with Johnny.
Devyn, don't say "hashtag", this isn't 2014. Oh wait...
I would literally be flabbergasted at Johnny or Laurel going home right now. Laurel most of all. Johnny could get a bad draw with CT or something.
How does order of picking your card go? CT has picked first with guys every time?
TJ: "CT's card is blank, congratulations Bananas." TJ is great.
I love CT but he doesn't seem to have his normal killer mentality this season. Is this the beginning of the end for CT? He got his win so his heart isn't in it anymore? Mind you these challenges haven't really been his strong suit, but still. He seems way more laid back than usual.
Gooooodbye Jasmine. Your luck sucks. She's already crying.
Isaac vs Bananas could be a good match. My bets on Johnny though.
Wonder if they determined the face masks they were using was the cause of Chet's cut. They suddenly aren't using face masks this time around.
Laurel looking like she's tossing around a toddler lmao This shit's just unfair, someone call child protective services!
Cara: "This is sad." hahahaha this is so damn embarrassing.
Johnny standing Isaac up on his drive?! Damn Johnny, that alone is impressive. I think Isaac just assumed he'd burst through him.
Johnny being impressive honestly.
Jordan about to be a lot of people's target.
Isaac suuuucks, Johnny was impressive.
I'm at least on Jordan's side when he says "Johnny hasn't seen an elimination since 98" lol that shit truuuuuuue.
Jordan at least owns up that he hasn't accomplished anything yet lol If something like that was ever said toward Johnny, he'd instantly bring up how many challenges he's won or that he's earned his stripes. Ignore the fact that most seasons he completely skates by without going to elimination and he's been paired with strong people.
This is all I ever want from the challenge. Give me people going back and forth. People fighting tooth and nail all the way through. Getting all the vets or all the strongest people on one side and just eliminating all the weak people until the final is boring as hell.
6:
Theresa fucking scared now. She realizes she fucked up gunning for Laurel but also backing out on the people who had your bad. Dumb as hell.
Even angry and firey CT is more laid back and casual than usual.
Laurel, you're a little wrong here. "CT is out of control. You have the ability to control yourself." Umm....it looks like Jordan was the one losing his cool in the bus?
Finally an individual challenge?
They seem to keep having the comps at this same exact watering hole.
Bananas: "Dutch?" TJ: "Jesus christ"
"At least you didn't say fucking 'Dutch' bro."
I would have never thought for a second Zach would winner on the quiz challenge.
Camilla, why are you crying? lol
"What is a continent" god damn Cara...
People, stop calling your girls "little girl". Cohutta what the hell.
Ok, I feel like the girls questions were easier? Am I crazy? "Spell Nickel" vs "Spell Exacerbate" lol seriously?
Jesus christ Cara. Mohamid Ali's real name is Mahatma Ghandi?!
Laurel literally making a hit list and calling the kid she likes and telling her not to go to school tomorrow lmao
I could see why people both hate and like working with Laurel. She's pretty damn direct and doesn't really pussy fooot around. I think Devyn is kind of dumb to take this hit list to heart though because who gets voted in, in what order doesn't really matter if only like Devyn and Cara are up for being thrown in. You can have 4 people targeted before you but if they're all safe you're still fucked.
Shocked Devyn actually went for Theresa. I get that Theresa threw everyone under the bus with changing her vote, but she likely still wasn't going to target you.
Just quietly add a rope to the tug of war elimination so they don't last an hour plus lol
I've always contended that on these tug of war style elim's you should run and then jump at the end. If you jump first the other person is likely not planted and loses a lot of ground. It honestly seems like Jordan does that and wins handedly.
Camila...what are you doing? What even is this? Did Camila have a mental breakdown before this? Stunned seeing Camila go out like that.
7:
I don't hate Jordan, but Laurel and Jordan kind of grosses me out lol
"I'm like Great Gatsby" hahaha
Dang, quick in to the challenge. This looks so dumb lol
"Not to sound cocky, I'm just used to winning." Oh Laurel...
I'm a bit confused by the "Rather be in the draw" mentality coming through right now. Is there just some out and about alliance that Leroy just knows he's going in if he's up for the pick?
Jordan wanting to possibly go in when he knows one of the winners is his buddies? What? You are definitely playing this game wrong buddy.
Jordan wants to go against Johnny...you idiot.
These guys acting like they're talking Jordan in to flipping over all the cards, but unless theres some editing foolery, that seems like it was the plan the whole time? Maybe not flipping the cards, but it seemed like he was fully intending to put himself against Johnny in the Elim? Absolutely stupid, but it seems like it was already his intention?
Aneesa is such a paranoid and terrible political player lol
Again Laurel just being absolutely direct. "You're a shitty salesman." lmao "Gotta let go of those expectations." daaaaaaaamnnnnnnn
I love Cohutta. He's just creepy with calling Nany his "Little girl"
Jordan scared now! haha He talked off and now people actually expect him to do it! lmao "Please tell me to not do it Laurel, please!"
Jordan, as soon as you see that wall you should wisen the fuck up and back out. You are dumb my dude.
Bye Jonna :( Aneesa beasted that comp so much her head was about to touch the bell.
Jordan you're an idiot. "Pride is worth $125k" ummmm, you're pride was never called out. You put it up for examination and then forced yourself to follow it. All of this is in your own damn head dude lmao you have some kind of complex going on my guy.
Laurel, why are you being so fucking weird and awkward? Why are you insisting on a weird ass handshake?!
"I don't think Jordan's intentions are 100% kosher. He went for the girl that would keep him safe." Bananas literally says this about every single guy and girl in the house every season. Last season it was CT, now it's Jordan. We just going to ignore The Island and The Ruins? Where that was literally the JEK strategy? So much so that the girls on the island literally thought they were going to be handed a key at the end?
Laurel, you kind of lose points in my book for being this head over heels for Jordan this quickly. I don't even hate Jordan, you just seem crazy infatuated which is just creepy.
"Jordan's most impressive performance in this game was flipping those cards over." Ok, that was hilarious.
They're still talking like they convinced Jordan to go in, but it really seems like that was always the intention.
8:
I would love to find out that Johnny doesn't even like bananas. He's just associated and named for this fruit he doesn't like.
This fucking funeral lmao
Either they had a deal with this bar to be able to film. Or it's literally the only bar close to the house lol
Uh oh, Leroy having an introductory segment of how he's handling the game. I don't like your chances to make it through the episode Leroy.
I like Cohutta, but he does and says some creepy shit. His "little girl" Nany, now he's grabbing her chin to talk to her...
Goooood Damn Nany.... Ya'll remember earlier this season when she called Emilee a slut?
Eeeewwwwwwwww Cohutta just laying in the damn spot where she tells him lmao
"Stretch your mind. It's gonna be a race." What the fuck?!
"I'm concerned because we have 2 girls I don't think can hold their bodyweight, which is pathetic." Well don't sugar coat it Laurel.
I feel like they didn't think very well about Theresa being the highest person, while being the shortest.
Cohutta been hanging for like an hour lmao
Devyn's team made that look easy.
I don't know what the hell the other team was doing. They were trying to get one person up at a time and just leave them there.
"Made out" with Johnny lol
There's people like Aneesa who I think whole goal is just making it to the final to get that minimum payout. Like she never has a chance to actually win the final. She just fights to stick around basically.
"I finally got picked first" Good on you Preston for taking it lightly.
"I just come clean and tell Cohutta everything." "You kissed a boy, so what?" Ummmmmm thinking there was stuff left out lol
I really need to hear the reasoning behind how the order is picked for drawing the cards. I just find it real suspect that the vets seem to always be first to pick, giving the slightly better odds.
"That was so stupid." I love TJ
Oh, Cohutta one hundred percent has this lol
"Waiting on ole dad on the couch." what in the hell Cohutta. You have some weird ass kink my dude.
Preston completely pushing Cohutta back, damn. Preston fell! Damn, he would have had that one.
"I feel like this is my first real elimination." True, you basically threw Jasmine around like a doll.
I actually think Aneesa got there first, but missed the bell?
Aneesa looks like she got fucking whiplash with that second hit lmao
Damn, another close one. Aneesa just wasn't jumping at all. I think she would have had that bell again if she went for the bell and not the chain.
"It shows she's beatable." She just handedly beat the next strongest girl in the house except for Cara. You planning on trying yourself Theresa? Or just talking shit?
9:
"I'm going to have to move to a blue state now." "What's a blue state?" I don't know who I'm dissapointed more by this interactions lol
Laurel going back to mean Laurel?
Laurel is bitchy in interactions, that is 100% undeniable, but it's shown so many times throughout the season how insanely loyal and supportive of Cara Laurel is all season. She's just also a bitch lol
So apparently 14 down to 12 is the number where the Challenge goes from looking like a lot of people left to "Damn there is no one left" because this episode definitely hit that mark.
I'm thinking Laurel has some kind of weird thing about counting stuff. She's been shown coming into multiple of these challenges counting pretty much anything involved with the challenge every episode.
For a second, I really thought the guys and girls were about to be going at the same time.
CT gets his first captain?
"I'll take Zach" "Ahhh it's like Christmas" Damn, that's unfair lmao
"Oh fuck" Damn Cara, could you be any more bitchy about being stuck with Jessica? Like that wasn't an immediate known fact?
Nany got fucking ROCKED right off the bat! Damn!
I talked all that talk about Laurel being loyal then it shows her saying she's not best friends lol oops.
Nany dazed after that hit, now it seems like all the girls are delaying their runs haha Laurel afraid!
Now Jessica gets knocked! I love this challenge.
Laurel would rather go in to Elim than get ran in to.
CT and Zach have them going slow lmao
"Kill all, ask questions later!" I love CT. Here's the CT I've been missing all season.
Well that was a lackluster hit to add suspense for.
Zach is fast as hell.
Has the other Johnny been in an elimination? Why isn't it between Johnny and Leroy?
At least Cara isn't being completely shit on all season.
"I don't want to be friends with a kid." Geez Laurel, you can be such a bitch.
Daaaaaamn CT, being direct as hell. "Jess is the one I least want on my team."
Hey, the order was a bit different this time for card draw.
Cara's luck is back in full force. At least she's going against Jessica.
Cohutta might be fast enough to pull this out vs Leroy. Leroy just has the reach and size to plow Cohutta over though.
"Cara's a good competitor, if I win, then I'm a good competitor." Good logic Jessica...
Damn Laurel, just rooting on Jessica openly?
Cara looks like she's trying to rip Jessica's head off.
Laurel you are so childish. "Cara doesn't need extra motivation, and we're not speaking so of course I'm not rooting for her."
That last round Jessica looked like she just gave up. She was bent over on her side when Cara ran in to her.
Laurel doesn't even congratulate Cara on staying. Laurel, you childish bitch lol
Yeah COhutta, I don't see you having much of a chance in this.
TJ talking up Cohutta. Sweet TJ.
"What am I going to do, who am I going to fuck.....ing hang out with." Hmmm I hear Johnny is still in the house...
"It makes me think Laurel would eat her own child if it got her further."
These doctors are looking at Cara like they're about to harvest organs lmao they're not hear for this crying bullshit.
10:
"I don't really care if she stays or not." "Oh, we know." Straight calling her out on being a bitch.
Good on Johnny to straight up say it's Laurel's fault and saying she's talking shit.
Saying that it's bad to accept who someone is and then suddenly not be ok with it is CERTAINLY a take. "I'm always a bitch. When I'm bitchy to you it shouldn't bother you."
Laurel runs away. What a baby. She can not accept that she's in the wrong.
The things you did after I was a bitch, makes me not sorry for being a bitch. Good start Laruel lmao
"If you know I'm a bitch, you should just fully accept me being a bitch at all times."
Why does Cara get a choice?! I'm all fine for Cara to be there, but I feel like other people have not been given the choice with injuries?
CT with the wholesomeness. "Shut up! Pick me right now!"
When did CT become the confident puzzle guy?
How the hell did Bananas solve that shit? lol "I broke my puzzle curse!" seems like it.
Laurel basically saying "I need to be more of a bitch. Fuck this friendship shit!"
A different location!
Saying someone is kissing ass when there's only like 10 people left and you're going out for drinks just because they're interacting with the person seems crazy. Is she supposed to sit there pissed worried about the draw?
"You wanna poke a stick at a bear, go ahead. I'm not going to squirm or talk bad about him." I love CT, don't let Johnny get what he wants. He's wanting to hear "I'm not coming for you." and that literally it.
Zach actually being reasonable? I feel like Zach gets way more acceptable when he isn't just around Frank the whoole time.
Johnny just saying "No" when Nany says she's voting for Theresa lol
"Don't give me this BS. I'm your biggest competition at the final and you want me out of here."
Good on you Nany, probably not the brightest decision, but commendable.
Johnny not changing his vote. What a bitch.
If they can't decide Johnny gets put in elimination. That shit about to change real fast lmao
Nany better not change her vote, if she has any brain cells she should know that Johnny will not volunteer himself for elimination this close to the final. Don't be dumb.
Fucking coward Nany. You know damn well Johnny would not have gone in to Elimination.
Lol, TJ's like "I ain't here for this shit. Shut up until I'm gone."
I actually agree with Theresa, I don't think hanging out with one of only 3 other girls in the house when you all go out is kissing ass and politicking.
It's gonna be the wall climb isn't it? lol
Yup haha Cara is so fucked, or maybe has an upper hand? Those casts are pretty hard...
Oh god, it's going to be Laurel isn't it?
Yup. Damn this shit was destined.
Well, Cara, you had a good run.
11:
I wish we coulld see this without Cara being injured. I feel like Cara has become somewhat of a challenge beast this season.
I really can't think of many eliminations where I wouldn't expect CT to come out ahead.
Location change isn't all that much of a twist CT, it's happened like the last 4 seasons?
I'm sad we couldn't get that Tokyo final. That would have been amazing.
CT noping out of jumping in the cold pool lol
A final draw, I'm assuming with two skull cards? I like it.
Zach safe, One of CT or Johnny are in the Elim. Dang
Oh my god. Johnny vs CT. Holy shit. Wow.
I'm shocked. Literally stunned. I never thought both of them wouldn't be in the final.
"Yes I'm safe!" "Oh crap, I'm in the final, I'm going to die!" lol Devyn
Theresa choking huge. Damn.
If Theresa won this I feel like Theresa/Devyn/Nany would be the most lackluster final for the girls yet.
Theresa catching up, oh she might have it? Say it ain't so. Having any two of Laurel/Johnny/CT not in the final qould be a kick in the balls to this season.
Ok, hoo, that was close. I couldn't have imagined the final without Laurel at this point.
CT noooooooo!
Damn, Johnny blew that out of the water. That's such a bummer that it came down to those two.
The other Johnny came in to this season with the best luck in the world on his side.
CT and Johnny not being in the final is a damn let down.
Does Zach win this? I'm favoring Zach/Laurel at this point. Johnny has the history and all, but Zach seemed fast as hell, and he had insane indurance in Seasons.
Three second places in a row? I for some reason forgot her and Kenny didn't win Fresh Meat 2.
"They said you have to finish, so Devyn I hope you cancelled your Christmas plans."
Final placement guesses: Laurel - Nany - Devyn, Zach - Bananas - Johnny
Zach has speed and endurance, but Bananas has experience. I think they're pretty interchangeable, but my money is on Zach right now.
Nany already looks cold.
"Some of you worked your butts off, some of you were just good at the draw." Cuts to Johnny lol
Was initially mad at pairs, but seeing guys/girls switch off each round is nice to hear.
Not a fan of hearing the determination comes down to times and not just a race to the finish. Must mean there will be some breaks.
Ok, I immediately want to go back on my Zach prediction lmao
12:
I feel like the escelation of the finals over the last few years and how many people in Cutthroat got heat exhaustion scared them and caused them to change up. Cause I feel like it's around right after that that the finals started being broken down in to parts and different days.
I want the grueling all out races that last all day.
This final basically became 'control how much Nany screws you over' and there is basically never a chance that Laurel will ever not be first place with whatever guy she goes with.
Devyn how did you do the damn desert but you can't do a hike?
Hahaha Nany freaking out because of a Tarantula lol I'm deathly afraid of spiders, but you just walk the other way... Randomly seeing a tarantula would scare the shit out of me.
Zach is fucking dissapointing. Jesus. If only there was someone there to scream verbally abuse him and push him the whole time. Maybe then he'd start performing better... I hope Sam is somewhere watching this loving every second of it.
"You don't understand Laurel, I'M GOING TO DIE!!" hahahaha Zach you bitch.
My god he is literally like crying through this.
"I'm having a heart attack." Cries
lmao Karma is a bitch Zach
Laurel actually name dropping Sam HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! Fucking LOVE you Laurel!!!!! FUCK YES!!!! I just jumped up and cheered.
I like to think Laurel was thinking about Sam that entire time and was just holding off not screaming her head off at him.
"She's just a dumb bitch. She's stupid." That's more of the Zach I know and remember!
25 mile bike ride to rest and food. Nice.
Oh, it's on a stationary bike. Well this is pointless and anticlimactic.
Nany quitting 80 minutes in? What are you fucking doing? You've already done it for 80 minutes you idiot.
Zach has been a complete dissapointment in this final.
Good on Dev for not quitting.
Devyn already well behind everyone else.
"Frankly I just deserve" how bold of you Johnny. I'm not usually for bagging on Rookies, but this dude hasn't even seen an elimination and is only in the final because of luck! lol
Wonder if they will show the final times or if they'll just announce the placements. I feel like these times aren't all that close. Like there was only like 10 minutes or so seperating Johnny/Nany and Laurel/Zach when it was acting like Zach was going to die. So even the one Laurel was behind the most she wasn't behind that much. And she completed the bike well in advance as well.
Wait, they had to then walk back DOWN the volcano? to even find out? lol the hell?
Actually announcing the girls times were 9 minutes apart. Nice. Didn't announce the guys.
I'm actually happy with a Johnny Bananas win? wow At least the game wasn't just broken with him walking to the final.
Laurel and Johnny definitely worked their asses off getting to the end.
Reunion:
God dammit, not Moseley again... This guy is a terrible damn host
Glad to see CT dropping that beard. He seemed like a different guy with it.
What is this weird ass set?! Let's just put a bunch of steel beams and rafters all over the set and make people sit on them in weird angles.
How are you staring up at Laurel's bossom?
Nany literally looked like she was about to fall off her seat trying to get away from that spider.
Laurel wanting to go to blows with Theresa.
"You're sweating cause you're scared."
Laurel is a bitch, but I agree with her when she says "But you'll say it?" Saying you want to punch her and then acting like its so below you. Then don't fucking say it.
Laurel looks stupid standing up and saying she's scared.
"Why isn't zach taking all the flack for it?" "Because he owns up to it!" I wish I could say it for someone else other than Zach but so much damn truth to this. If you own your shit and don't shy away from it it become a far lesser deal than people who try to hide away from it and act like it isn't a thing.
I was swinging a little away from Jordan this latter half of the season, but this reunion is making me go back toward Jordan. Johnny just keeps moving the goalpost this entire conversation. First it's that he doesn't shut his mouth, then it's his actions, then it's him feeling insecure and overcompensating. Johnny doesn't know what the hell to say he's just regurgitating the same complaints he makes over and over again.
I agree with Johnny though. Fuck pride, fuck all this, your object is to not get in to eliminations. It was stupid.
CT: "How much did he get fined? Was it like per minute, per hour?" lol I continue to love CT
Ooooooof, sitting there having to watch yourself jump from one guy to the other in the same room with both guys has to be awkward as fuck.
"The black one said 'yes'"
"She told me everything." It really didn't seem like that on the show...
Are we going to not address that Cohutta was laying in the same exact spot WHEN she told him they hooked up? I mean...
Awwww Cohutta comes off so damn cute saying "It's okay." to Nany.
"If she hurts me, i'mma shave her head." Hahah this whole Cohutta/Nany section is hilarious and adorable. I predict they will be completely apart within weeks.
Oh my god if Moseley says "W-T-F" one more god damn time...
Laurel definitely has only-child syndrome.
"Cara, that hurts." "...and CT." "NO, NO! We're best friends!" Need I remind you how much I love CT?
"Holy shit, her ass looks like a butterfly!"
THere is a lot of butthole content in this unseen footage.
What in the fuck is Isaac?! He crapped in a damn zip lock baggy to deliver to Cohutta later?! WHAT??? Between that and Isaac sitting int he pool in a full suit makes me think Isaac wasn't given enough screen time. Guess he never comes back though.
"I'm not a harbering anger person." Theresa says as she quite stand-offishly says "It can be whatever you want. If you want to be cool, we can be cool."
TL/DR or Overall season thoughts:
Honestly this may be my new favorite season to this point. I love the structure. I love the randomness of teams and dynamics. I'm not crazy on the randomness of the draw, I wish there was a little more of an element to factor in there, but overall I love the structure of the season. The final was great, I just wish it could have been entirely solo and not timed sections. Make that all one go and it'd be an amazing final.
Bummed to see CT go right before the final. Sucks it had to be CT vs Johnny with the other Johnny freely skating by on luck to the final his rookie season.
I saw a lot of people talking about the Jordan/Johnny beef coming in to this season and I still come out of it not really feeling Johnny at all. I didn't really like Jordan coming out of Rivals other than it was two rookies giving the vets a run for their money. But over the course of this season between him and Laurel hooking up, and everyone talking so much shit on Jordan I kind of swung a little to Johnny's side of the argument. But I think the reunion brought me back to perspective and back to still disliking Johnny. If you just take this season and take what we see of Jordan he doesn't come off as consantly being cocky and showboating. What we get is every time he does anything even remotely over the top we cut to Johnny talking about how much he's showboating and being cocky. I think the edit and Johnny colors the perception of Jordan more than anything we actually see of Jordan. At the reunion Johnny had literally nothing to say when they brought up the disagreement other than saying Jordan was dumb for going in the Elimination, which I agree with. Other than that his arguments kept moving and changing, from him being cocky, to him showboating, to him just working out constantly. It's like Johnny personally didn't like him and just skewed every single thing with a negative slant. I don't perceive the dude doing a flip in the water as showboating just because Johnny takes it that way. I don't take him wanting to work out more to make up for only having one hand in a physical competition as being cocky and wanting to be better than everyone else just because that's how Johnny wants to paint it.
I feel like the perception and the edit was heavily influenced by Johnny and how he viewed Jordan specifically, where we could have just been shown him actually doing that? Instead all we see is him making some dumb pick up line from a season ago? lol
Also this season probably had the best reunion? Shocking with it being Moseley and last seasons being so damn horrible with him hosting.

We are all here because we realize watching porn and masturbating to it has detrimental effects to our lives. Thus, we are here to stop it. We have all heard from all kinds of people, all kinds of reasons to why we keep doing that. And I don't disagree, there are a lot of factors to why you are watching porn and masturbating to it. Most people say, that the approach each of us take to stop it differs from individual to individual. Though this makes sense, the extent to which our approaches differ is so unimportant, because we all share the same goal and the same problem. My point is, that there is one thing we all do wrong. There is an illusion that we all take for real. You see, our addiction is not just a porn addiction, it is a double addiction. First there is the porn addiction and then is the masturbation addiction. Now don't get me wrong, porn is the main culprit, but let me explain. There are two connections in the brain, the first one is watching porn and sexual arousal, and the second one is masturbating and sex. Don't you ever have the urge to watch porn, just to watch porn? Without any intention to masturbate? That's because the brain has linked watching porn with the pleasure of sexual arousal. That's the first illusion. Men don't just get sexually aroused by spotting a woman. Sexual arousal comes from interaction with another person. What a man does to get sexually aroused by a woman walking down the road, is zooming to that ass and suddenly all kinds of porn scenes and fantasies flood the brain. The illusion is that there is no human interaction. Every time you watch porn, every time you fantasize, there is one piece off the puzzle, you are alone. There is no interaction, whether you are thinking, whether you are watching man-made lights changing colors (pixels), holding an anorganic substance (smartphone), there is one thing happening: You are alone. We humans have the natural tendency to connect with others, to love. Why do you get sexually aroused, when there's no other person teasing you? Why do you connect with your phone, with pixels? Well, if you can call that a connection, to me you are still alone. It's okay, we have been tricking ourselves all this time, so the connection is there. But because it's a fraud, trust me, it easily collapses. Then there is the masturbation addiction. It happens due the same illusion, but the connection to the brain is different. So, why did I say that porn is the main culprit? That's because usually nobody craves to just masturbate, it all starts with porn. It's only when you are sexually aroused that you get the urge to masturbate. We again humans naturally wanna form connections with other people, get in contact with them and even in sexual manner. The illusion once again is that when you masturbate, there is no human interaction, you are alone. I'm not saying masturbation is bad, even though it might be, but masturbation to porn looks like it is. That's because you never intended to masturbate alone, you fall into the trap of believing that you are with the people you are watching. But again, you are alone. Holding a piece of anorganic matter? Doesn't matter, you are alone. There is no human interaction. That's why sometimes when you get the urge to watch porn, but suddenly somebody comes to your room, or you call somebody, chat with somebody either on the internet or in contact, the urge fades away. Because we want to connect and love, don't get your urges wrong. You cannot connect with yourself, connection by definition requires two ends. Don't fool yourself. When you get the urge, it's an urge to connect, it's our fault that we turn to porn for that. To conclude, the foundation of our addiction is just a lie we tell ourselves. It took me by surprise to watch my favourite porn with that in mind and get no urge to masturbate. I thought "But there is no girl, I'm gonna go alone in the bathroom. No sexual intercourse, just me. Nothing is gonna change, again, I'll end up alone.". So I just closed the tabs. And that leads to how I wanna aid with our recovery.
NoA. Aka No Arousal method by bigbookofpenis (Nice nickname btw). Here is a link to know what I'm referring to: The NoA method
The No Arousal method (NoA) is essentially a way to stop watching porn by eliminating any kind of stimuli that could urge you to do so. That includes fantasies or looking at sexy women. While this method works in theory, there are some practical issues I wanna discuss and I am gonna do so while giving you my experience with this method. Before that, I wanna say that it's a good and somewhat reliable way to stop watching porn. I mean, if you never get the urge to, you never will right? So, in my case I didn't have to stop watching butts on Instagram, because I had deleted all kinds of social media except YouTube since years ago. I also installed a porn blocker. Changes you can do to your environment can help you make better decisions. After all it was your choice to makes those changes to your environment. It's not internal vs external change, it's the same. You have to have an internal shift to decide to manage your environment. However, relying too much on the environment makes you fall out of place, when something in it falls out of place as well. What I also did was whenever a porn related thought came to mind I quickly scrapped that and snapped into reality. It all worked perfectly until one of my friends at group chat send us a very teasing hentai gif. Even though I closed the app, I had already been exposed to it and couldn't get it off my mind. That day I relapsed and here's what I learned: You see, talking to friends is not something we should stop and even if I request they don't send me porn stuff, there is somewhere else I would be exposed to it. Nowadays, in this modern age, I think it's really impossible to not get exposed to porn. Somewhat randomly, but it's bound to happen eventually. Having not been stimulated all those weeks, that gif did the job for me. It only makes sense to accept that you will be exposed to porn and just face it. About that, there was a page in https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ that I don't seem to find, in which somebody suggested a different approach to rebooting. Here is how it goes: First you fantasize about porn and try to get to the point of climax by just using imagination. When you are just about to reach that point, you delete everything from your mind and leave it blank. Our brains, the porn - conditioned ones expect a reward after porn. So, by stopping everything last minute, you are essentially rewiring your brain to link porn with disappointment. As you can tell I experimented with that as well. My issue was the same, whenever I got exposed to actual porn, I could not resist, it's not as easy to stop as fantasy. Finally, learning from all those wonderful people, we conclude to this method:
Do you remember when I was talking about the illusions we have? That there is no human interaction, the thing that we really desire, in PMO? Thinking about that can make you not get aroused even by porn. If you really acknowledge the fact that you are alone, and that what you used to believe was people is just your phone, there nothing to arouse you from porn. If you zoom out of the screen, you can clearly see yourself, alone, in a room. Say to yourself: "I'd like to have some fun with somebody, I'd like to be aroused or even have sex. Now though, I'm alone and that's impossible until I reach out to somebody." and trust me, you are just gonna close the tabs out of pure disappointment of porn. Even if you get turned on, there is the second part of the addiction to stop. Say "I'd really like to have sex now, but I can't because I'm alone. When I'm masturbating and even after I'm done, during all that I'm alone." and see yourself getting turned off. I suggest doing this everyday for sometime. Open a porn tab intentionally, just to realize that it is not real and get the experience into your head, that you can be exposed to porn and not get aroused. I choose to open a porn tab of all things, because I believe in our world it's impossible to not get stimulated. You have to be able to reject watching porn as you are exposed to a porn site. After all, that's how you stop the addiction, not by betting on luck that you are never gonna get exposed to porn, but by being exposed to it and rejecting it face on. Don't worry that you might be supporting the porn site you will visit by providing traffic. You are really saving yourself by a lifetime's worth of visits. Do this drill daily until you feel like there is no point in opening a site, if the only thing that's going to happen is disappointment and closing the tab.
To sum it up, we humans want interaction with other humans, generally with the world. We want to love the world, so we can be happy however it might be. Watching porn, getting turned on by it and ending up masturbating to it, all happens because we lie to ourselves. In our desire to connect, we end up by ourselves. Don't mask such egocentric activities, as love and connection, when it's exactly the opposite, loneliness and isolation. Believe in this simple and well known truth, explain it to yourself, do research, do whatever it takes to understand that truth, for our porn addiction lies in lie.
Extra comment: I know all this might sound obvious, but until people realise this, they never quit watching porn. We have all told to ourselves that this time I'm gonna reach the ninety days or something, really believing that we are never gonna do it again, only to find ourselves back into the same old behaviour. As somebody who has recovered, I can tell you ONE thing: out of the hundreds of times you have told yourself to stop (I'd been struggling for 1.5 years), you KNOW the time that you stop watching porn forever. That's because, it's nothing about feeling lucky, that you will never fall for that crap again. It's exactly like this: I know for fact that porn is bad for me and thus, I don't like it and I am not gonna watch it. At that point, even if the craziest of urges come your way or you put porn for yourself to watch, you are genuinely not gonna have the slightest of interest, because you will know. My advice is to research and learn everything, read as much as you can on YBOP site, even read the book "YBOP" (i did) and love your relapses. Write your experience about them and what you believe you should do next time. All that to make it progressively clear to yourself that porn is of no use for you. Don't be afraid of your addiction, don't hide from it, just have fun and trust that even if you keep relapsing, that you keep learning. The feeling that you get when you know you are done, is not like "I hid every cue, I avoided all the urges, so now it's impossible to get me", but it's this one: When you are face to face with porn and you don't get turned on, your heart doesn't race and you just stay there thinking: "What a fucking lie my addiction was.". You learn to live in this society full of porn cues, not giving a fuck, because the association of porn with disappointment is crystal clear. It's said in the book "YBOP" and reported from a lot of us here, that eradicating the cues will help you not crave porn, but even after months of not watching porn, the connections to the brain won't die off. So what do we achieve by avoiding cues? Are we waiting for that one time, after 4 months clean, to slip back into old habits? Hoping that connections die off is big waste of time. The answer is simple, it's futile hiding from something that's in your brain. Just face it. It's not harder, it doesn't take more time, it's exactly the opposite. Quit half assing your recovery with tweaks and get to the point, realise that it is bad, you don't want it.

Way back in 2003, when I still a PYT, I came across a story by Greg Seigle of the Washington City Paper. It wasn't super scandalous, but it was pretty damn funny to me. A sportswriter out on a date just so happened to bump in Michael Jeffrey Jordan and his entourage. Jordan had taken interest in his date before the writer arrived. He stood no chance. Over the years I returned to this story a few times for a cheap laugh. A few days ago, I attempted to track the story down and read it again but it was nowhere to be found. Thankfully, a SpursTalk forum post preserved this gem in its entirety, which I will present here:

Michael Jordan Tried to Steal My Date by Greg Seigle It's just before 10 p.m. Tuesday Jan. 8, 2002, and my cell phone rings—it's Christine, an out-of-town heartthrob, calling from the Four Seasons Hotel. She's just arrived in D.C. for a brief business trip and wants to meet for a late-night bite.
I'm busy writing a story for a news service, but it's hard to resist. She's famished, so we agree she'll go ahead to Cafe Milano and I'll meet her there in a half-hour.
About the same time we're on the phone, Michael Jordan is facing a larger-than-usual swarm of reporters at the MCI Center after playing in a 96-88 win over the Los Angeles Clippers. The morning papers have just revealed that his wife of 13 years, Juanita Jordan, has filed for divorce in Waukegan, Ill. A Chicago Sun-Times reporter asks if his divorce is inevitable. "None of your business," Jordan snarls, according to a subsequent account in the Washington Post.
As I'm striding toward the wood-framed glass doors of Milano, sucking on a breath mint, it occurs to me that Christine probably won't be sitting alone. She's a svelte, attractive woman; the vultures of Milano will surely have latched on to her. I walk faster.
Standing at the entrance, scanning tables, I quickly spot Christine—eating at a round table ringed with six big men. That's really all I notice—that these guys are big. She's talking, laughing, oblivious to my arrival.
"Great," I mutter, wanting to spin around and split. Still, I'm anxious to catch up. So I suck in a deep breath and beeline for her, hoping she'll jump up, throw her arms around me, and, after a quick adieu to the big boys, sashay off to another table with me.
"Hey, Christine," I murmur.
Christine's caught off guard. Her wide-eyed expression seems to say, Oh shit! I forgot about you! She doesn't stand.
"This is my friend Greg," she announces timidly, flipping her hand at me. Silence.
"Hey there," I mutter, smiling meekly and nodding toward the men. No response.
One guy—a burly bald man who reminds me of Russian-mafia thugs I encountered during a reporting stint in the former Soviet Union—shoots me a sustained "get the **** out of here" stare. Another man, curly-haired, scurries away to summon the manager.
Christine is flustered. "Grab a seat," she says, even though there are no chairs available.
Suddenly, I realize that one of the men sneering at me, the one seated to the left of Christine, is Michael Jordan.
My boyish instinct is to burst into a big smile, stick out my right hand and exclaim: "Oh my God! Michael Jordan! How the hell are you?"
But the macho man inside me wants to growl: "Dude, are you hitting on my date?"
The restaurant's manager sidles up and whispers: "Sir, if you could, please move away. The gentlemen want to conduct some business."
I look to Christine for a clue. Her eyes dart towards Jordan's, then back at mine. She grins sheepishly.
Just then, two people stand up to leave, causing a timely distraction. "Look," I tell Christine, as soon as I can speak without anyone hearing. "I'm going to leave, OK? It's Michael Jordan, for crying out loud. Go for it. Have a good time."
But just as I'm turning away, Christine surprises me—and everyone else—by grabbing my forearm. "No!" she blurts out. "Don't go! Hold on."
She abruptly stands up and bids the group farewell, hoisting her half-finished bowl of shrimp ravioli and glass of champagne as she leaves.
The waiter scrambles to react, and Christine and I head for a table of our own. The move happens so fast I don't think to ask for a table far, far away. Big mistake.
We settle into the table right next to Jordan's—Christine snares the seat facing him as I sit to the side—and it seems all eyes are upon us. Including his.
I figure MJ and his pals will soon grow tired of ogling Christine, who's wearing a strapless minidress and knee-high black boots. After a half-hour, however, it becomes clear they're not going to stop.
"Jeez, I'm not that good-looking," Christine says.
Despite the distractions, we're mostly engrossed in conversation. At one point, she's voluntarily saying she's attracted to me. "It's the champagne," I laugh nervously. She knows I'm gaga for her.
Still, it's impossible to ignore the table of men next to us, especially that guy with the poster-boy smirk. Christine isn't blameless, either. I notice her occasionally smiling Jordan's way. The second or third time, I call her on it.
"Is there a problem?" I ask.
"I'm sorry. It's just that he keeps staring at me," she says.
I swing my head toward Jordan; he tips his head back and puffs on a cigar, pretending not to notice.
I can't believe this is happening—I'm getting dissed by one of the most popular icons in Washington...the country...no, the entire world! Isn't he supposed to be a role model?
While Christine is off in the ladies' room, I catch Jordan's eye for a millisecond. His upper lip curls, as though I were some rookie trying to challenge him on the court.
When Christine gets back, she's clearly basking in the attention from the other table. I figured she made her choice when she left Jordan's table. My instincts now, though, tell me she may be reconsidering. I suggest we leave, but she says she wants to stay.
Now it's my turn to go to the bathroom. When I re-emerge, the curly-haired man is sitting next to her in one of our unused chairs. I sit down and engage in some polite banter. He's Tim Grover, Jordan's personal trainer. Grover seems unimpressed by the news that my cousin Leslie is married to Wizards backup guard Hubert Davis.
So I stand up, extend my right hand, and announce, "Well, it was nice to meet you, Tim. Have a good night." He glides back to Jordan's table.
I sit there stewing. I've admired Jordan from afar for many years. Now that I've encountered him face to face he's...uh, he's hitting on my date?
Before I can call for the check, the men at Jordan's table rise to leave, hovering over us and fluffing their expensive outerwear.
A tall bald man in a full-length white cashmere coat remains behind, mumbling, "See you soon" to Jordan and the others as they shuffle out. He takes a seat at the bar, orders a drink, and swivels around in his stool so he faces my side.
Minutes later, Christine and I get up to go. As I take a few steps ahead of her to grab the door, the man in the cashmere coat slips behind me. When I turn around, he's whispering in her ear, handing her a note of some sort. Christine quickly grabs it and stuffs it in her pocket. The man scurries away.
"Hey, what was that he handed you?" I ask Christine, acting amused.
"Oh, you mean this?" she says, playfully handing me a card adorned with the Wizards logo. It's the card of Fred Whitfield, identified as a "legal counsel" for the team.
"What did he say to you?" I ask, bravely handing the card back.
"Ummm...he said, ‘When that guy drops you off, call this phone number and we'll send the limo to pick you up,'" Christine responds.
"Really? Wow. Are you going to call?"
"I don't know yet," she replies.
Christine and I walk outside into the freezing night, where a black, chrome-trimmed limo is idling out front, warm and cozy. We climb into my nearby car, a dented Ford Taurus with frost bits dotting the windshield.
"Brrrr!" Christine chirps, rubbing her upper arms and exhaling thin clouds of steam.
I drive her to her hotel. There, Christine surprisingly lays one on me, a long, slow kiss that, after it ends a minute or three later, stirs me to inquire whether I should see her upstairs.
"No, it's late, and I have to get up early," she says. My car clock reads 1:24 a.m.
She jumps out and I watch her walk down the long corridor of the Four Seasons before driving away, fighting off the urge to park nearby and see if the limo cruises up.
The next afternoon, unable to contain my curiosity, I call Christine and ask point blank: "What happened after I dropped you off?"
"Now, Greg, what kind of a woman do you think I am?" she says, laughing.
There's a brief, awkward pause before she pipes up again.
"What, do you think I'd actually go hook up with him?"
I want to believe Christine, but it's difficult, especially after she tells me that she's suddenly decided to extend her stay in D.C. a few days for reasons other than work—and will be busy until Friday.
Now I'm scrambling to check my Wizards schedule. Yep, the team is in town—until Friday, when it departs for Milwaukee.
Later, Christine informs me she spent part of her "mini-vacation" gallivanting about Washington with the Jordan gang. She swears it was just tea, dinner, and the like.
"He's a very nice man," Christine alleges.
"Do you think he was nice to me?" I snap back.
"I guess not," she concedes.
I haven't gone out with Christine again, although we still keep in minimal touch.
In my jilted eyes, Jordan's a role model all right—a role model for spoiled athletes who think they and their hangers-on can run roughshod over anyone. He has to dominate, even in casual social situations. And he's remarkably thorough about it. At Cafe Milano, when I received the bill, I couldn't help noticing that the ravioli and champagne Christine had picked up at Jordan's table had been transferred to my tab.

Ever since I read it, this has always been my favorite Michael Jordan story. Maybe Christine was prettier than she alleges, but for me it brings to mind the story of Jodan trying to bet former MTV "VJ" Kennedy her virginity over a card game. I'm sure Jordan had prettier women at his beck and call, but the chance to go somewhere where no one else had, or to deny someone - in this case Seigle - something they wanted seemed to be almost pathological in Jordan. But if it weren't for SpursTalk the story would be gone. Outside of a contemporaneous Wall Street Journal piece, I couldn't find any mention of this Seigle story anywhere. And now the paper that ran it as a cover story has taken it down. I checked the Internet Archive, and I had to go all the way back to June, 01, 2003 to find when the piece was last available on the Washington City Paper.
Occam's razor presents a clear, likely scenario: uhhhh... Jordan was still married to Juanita in 2003(they didn't divorce until 2006) and the story probably threatened his then-happy home. The mythologizing side of me likes to think that this was a follow-up to that evening. That Jordan heard about a story his vanquished rival was running and saw that it had gained some traction and sicced a squad of lawyers on him to have what was probably the most popular thing he's ever written scrubbed off of the internet. That he wanted to dominate anonymous ass Greg Seigle one more time. That he took it personally. I'm probably imagining it, but I find it hard to imagine the Washington City Paper removing a piece that was referenced in the Wall Street Journal entirely of their own accord.

So I agreed to go and do the TMB with a couple non-UL friends of mine who had never camped before. One had completed a few long Euro hikes, but had always stayed in refuges. The other had only gone on day hikes. I had sat them down and showed them my alpine kit (9lbs) and discussed with them what was needed and what was not, but ultimately let them find their way. I reminded myself that their enjoyment of the trail will not be lessened if they carried extra weight. They actually did pretty well.
We set out on the 19th June to Chamonix (bear in mind we live an hour away so lockdown does not apply to us, we were fine for this trip). The weather reports were for storms and rain. This so did not happen as we had glorious sunshine every single day bar the first one.
Due to international (ie not EU) border closures, there would be no busloads of tourists lining the trail as usual (this has kept me away from this trail in the past). Because it was early in the season with snow still on the passes, there would be less EU hikers on trail. Because we were going clockwise as opposed to the usual anticlockwise, we would be seeing even less.
We started just above Argentiere at around 9am and started climbing up into Switzerland. Wild camping is strictly illegal in Switzerland. If I am by myself (95% of the time I go prefer to go solo), I am ok with wild camping knowing that I set camp up in the dark and pack up by dawn leaving zero trace. However, as I had company we would be finding this more difficult. The first evening we were offered a spot beside an alpine 'Alpage' - mountain restaurant. The second evening we stopped at an alpine dairy farm and were offered a 'Yurt' to sleep in.
From there, we entered into Italy and easily the most stunning scenery to be found on the TMB. Wild camping was easier and we found incredibly beautiful spots to sleep, much to the excitement of my friends. We had a lot of snow exposure, crossing many mountain passes. We bought microspikes and were happy to have them for a few of them. However, I would have been ok without them too.
I took my typical 3 season kit with me in my Atom 35 and it all worked perfectly. Here's a few observations:
Loved:
Montbell Sun Hoodie - this thing was perfect. It felt cool just wearing it. I only needed sun cream on my nose and lips. It didn't stink as much as I feared it would.
Atom Packs Joey - this belt bag fit quite a few day-to-day things (wallet, sun cream, monocular, toothbrush etc) as well as the stretchy pocket took my map (on which I made notes on possible camp spot for a future solo hike) and my iPhone. I was also able to thread it though two attachments on my Atom 35 when I had a heavier resupply load-out as a hip belt. This worked well, but after a couple meals I ditched the idea again so the bag could be free once more. Good to know it's there though.
Cork massage ball & foam pipe insulation - The cork ball was amazing on my feet and shoulders at the end of the day. The foam pipe insulation was slipped over a lower section of my trekking pole and used to roll out legs. Awesome.
My new shoulder pocket water bottle - I took my 500ml HDPE Nalgene bottle and drilled a hole in the top to insert a short section of tubing with bite valve. The rigidness of the bottle allowed for water to be filtered straight into it without removal. I usually added half a tab of electrolyte pastile to each fill. I could drink without removing the bottle. I also carried in my ditty bag a spare lid for it in case I needed to use it for a hot water bottle or cold soaking (neither which I did on this trip, but would still use this system again).
Solar panel - This was a test for how this would work. I have a 67g solar panel from Aliexpress that I wanted to give a try. I clipped it to the top of my bag each day with my Charmast 10400mAh battery pack attached. The Charmast has 2x USB ports, one USB-C port and a micro for charging It also allows for pass-through charging. Every day was glorious sunshine and the battery was topped off easily by lunch. I even was able to charge 2x GoPro batteries in an afternoon. I think it would very easily be possible to use a smaller 3500mAh battery, but not sure how well it would be if we didn't get the sun we did. Either way it was perfect. We didn't need to find a power point anywhere on trail as I was able to keep all three of us with power the whole week.
Buff - My merino buff was super loved when I could pull it over my eyes when the sun came up at 5:30am. It wasn't used for anything else.
Knee braces - If you have dodgy knees like me (I used to race MTB professionally and have had surgery on both knees), I highly recommend knee braces like these for the descents. The alps are steep up and down. I'm fine on the climbs, but extended steep descents can wreck my knees. These worked amazingly and I never got any knee pain. easy to put on and take off while moving. I stored them in my bottom stretchy pocket.
The OK:
My Plexamid - I love this shelter, I really do. However, the replacement Ti struts for the top panel are pretty strong and one actually pushed through the webbing holding it in. I sorted it out easily, but was pretty thankful it didn't tear a hole in the DCF. However, it worked perfectly for the trail and it fits everything comfortably inside with me.
Atom 35 - This bag is ace. It's a well made bag with all the right features and nothing I don't need. However, the shoulder straps dig in a little on my shoulders, maybe an 'S' shaped curve may be better for me. I love it though and will continue to use it. I had to carry some extra gear (microspikes etc), so I was also pushing the weight limits. Still highly recommend to anyone with a sub 10lb BW.
My Cumulus Primelite Pullover - This puffy was their earlier version with a way way better weight to warmth ratio. It is amazing. So warm and yet still lighter than my Ghost Whisperer. However, it doesn't have hand pockets! I was always trying to put my hands into pockets that weren't there. I think I'll take a sewing machine to it and cut and seal two slits so I can at least have somewhere to put my hands.
Altra Timp 2.0 - I have used and loved the original Timps, so bought the newer versions to try. They are a tad narrower and for some reason rub me wrong. I got a tiny blister between my big toe and second toe and a weird heel blister. Neither affected my trip, but its the first time I've had a blister since shifting to Altras... Plus, after 200km, they are already looking worn on the soles.
The bad:
Thermarest NeoAir XLite - I hate this thing. It is too narrow, too bouncy and too slippery. I have bought a Thermarest Prolite which I was going to take, but swapped it out at the last minute as I couldn't swallow the extra 150g. I made do, but damn that thing is shit.
Contamine down to Les Houches - This section sucks. It's mostly road walking and we had it in 40°C heat.
The not-needed-but-taken:
2l Hydrapak Seeker - I bought this in case we had some dry camps at altitude. Also the BeFree filter fits on it. I never used it. There is water everywhere.
Montbell wind pants - We crossed some freezing and super windy saddles and I never thought to use them. I'll probably leave them out next time, but they do only weigh 80g, so who knows...
​
Some final thoughts:
​

• I use an alcohol stove and found it super hard to find alcohol in towns due to it all being sold out because of Covid-19. I had to share in with my friend's gas stove after my fuel ran out. I never thought of this. Alcohol is always easy to find everywhere.
• I got to test my Montbell UL travel umbrella in the rain on the first day. I have always loved umbrellas for rain in the alps. I usually use a Euroschirm, but bought this crazy light one to try out. It was awesome.
• We averaged 30km and around 1500m - 2000m climbing per day. We finished in 7 days. We didn't see many people and it was insanely beautiful. I don't use Imgur, but you can see some photos on my Instagram. I am trying to post a day-by-day post of the trip on there, so keep checking in on there. I will also edit a Youtube video on my account soon, I took a shit-ton of footage...
• I enjoyed hiking this with others. I am usually a solo hiker - enjoying the solitude of the mountains - but this time round I enjoyed the camaraderie of sharing the experience with others. Fun times.
• The Tour du Mont Blanc is incredibly beautiful. We were fortunate to find ourselves with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have it to ourselves. If you can do this trek, I highly recommend it.
• I did see a young lad from the Netherlands who I bet anything is a member on here. We were nearly identical in our UL uniform of running shorts, sun hoodie and Atom 35. Nice lad. I let him copy my camping notes.

​
Fuck thats a lot of writing.
Let me know if you have any questions.

TL;DR:
These held up pretty well so wear your shoes m8.  
Full writeup:

Yeezy 350 v2 Bred - BASF from Vicky, 1 year later

Intro: Hi, repfam hope all of you are doing well, I haven't made a review in a while and I don't think I see enough people do reviews of their shoes after being used for months or even years down the line and I have nothing better to do so why not.
These were my first pair of reps. I bought these shortly after taking an L on the 350v2 hyperspace, unfortunately I got screwed over by DHL which will be explained later on the timeline below, even then this opened my eyes to how good reps really are, and I've stuck to reps since ^{and just reselling Ws to buy more reps} 👀
 
Disclaimer: I don't have retails of this colorway but I do have retail creams, so those will only be my direct comparison to it. I am by no means an expert on shoes unlike a lot of you but I know what I like and don't like so a lot of these are just my opinion, if you have conflicting opinions on whatever I said in this thread please do share and I'd love to hear it! Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
 
Timeline:
^MM/DD/YY
3/20/19 - Ordered "pk god" breds paid 100USD shipped through WU
3/22/19 - Received QC pics, RL'd left shoe
3/23/19 - Received new QC pics, RL'd again, due to reddit comment suggestions, paid 20 usd and switched to basf
3/26/19 - Received QC pics for basf
3/27/19 - Gave GL
4/2/19 - Received tracking 6 days after being told "in 1-2 days my friend" 3x xD
4/7/19 - Customs called, they are asking what my items are
 
back and forth discussion proving the real price of the shoes and when I agreed to pay for the 100 USD tax, they had to file a "lifting of abandon" because its been more than 30 days even though I was replying every single time immediately during this whole ordeal
 
6/14/19 - Received shoes on hand
 
I had a really bad experience with DHL for this one, I had no one to blame but customs fukking with me, I didn't let this one experience ruin me trying to buy more reps later on down the line though, anyways, I got taxed with 260 USD import tax (they adjusted it to the "real price" which was 795 USD according to them)
 
Vicky's best advise is for me to give them a foot locker receipt of the price of the breds, which she provided, this brought down the value to 240USD but unfortunately I was still taxed 100 USD since anything above 200 usd in my country (PH) is taxable
 
In hindsight, I should've done more research in these situations and prepared a paypal invoice or something similar, they denied the invoice that Vicky first gave me unfortunately, even with the modifications in pricing, but it is odd because the invoice Vicky is giving me on skype doesn't even have the same name as the invoice attached to the shipment
Funnily enough for the x amount of times I've used DHL after this, I never got taxed ever again.
It came double boxed with no dents on the main yeezy box, inside are the shoes with a stockx tag attached to it, which I snipped quickly after.
 
On to the shoes themselves
QC Pics
On hand / Current state photos
 

imo:

• Toebox - this is probably the most obvious flaw on here since it kinda has that bulky look to it, if you look into this quick side by side from my creams creams are defo slimmer, it doesn't look that obvious on the pic but on hand side by side on a shoe rack I always seem to notice it, You'll be able to discern it on feet but only on certain angles, though most of the time people won't be able to tell though.
  
• Tongue shape - Another flaw I noticed comparing to my creams is that the tongue has this sort of "boxy" shape to it when looking at the front, it should be some sort of clean arc but instead it has a bit of corner to it though at least it symmetrical.
  
• Pull tab - Pull tab placement and angle on these are great, but I just realized the sizing / gap on these is sliiiightly small. Im able to barely put two fingers together inside while on the creams I'm able to fit inside tightly. I tried looking at the latest batches as well and it seems to be mine is smaller than even those with smaller sizes though I'm not quite bothered by it.
  
• Heel tab + Sockliner - I think the overall shape and curve on these are great except as mentioned earlier the boxy-ish tongue on the front view.
  
• Primeknit - The pattern on these are defo on point, so I have no complains on that one. Although at first I was worried about the SPLY text placement as it feels like most retails are nearer to the heel tabs but it seemed to me there are also some retail pairs where its very far away so nowadays I just brush it off and think its not a flaw anymore. Though comfort wise its a different story.
  
• Comfort and boost - First of all I won't get into the details on the boost pattern because no one cares enough to look under your shoe on feet and second I honestly can't tell looking at it side by side with retail but on feet feels tho, the boost is amazing. I could not believe how on point they feel compared to retail I'd say the boost comfort is 1:1 but the primeknit falls a bit short on comfort, It's definitely softer than budget batches, but its not as soft as retails, it still has some very slight stiff to it, I'd rate it maybe .8~.85:1. Floor traction is same as retail though, be careful wearing them in your bathroom when you need to do that last minute pee before leaving the house, or any wet floor for that matter.
  
• Sizing is 0.5 up - I'm US9.5 / 43 tts. I wear 9.5s in AJ1s 9 on Converse and 10 on yeezy 350v2s and these are a Size 10 and fit perfectly on me, though there is a bit of room when I wear no show or very thin socks, but if I were to buy TTS I would have to wear no socks at all or go insole-less to wear them.
  

Conclusion

These were bought at a time when the best batch to go for this colorway was Basf or G5, I didn't like the opaqueness of the G5's sole at the time so I opt to go for these, nowadays I know they've fixed the shape with the newest batches and I bet the primeknit comfort is a lot better, I thought these were already great at the time but who knew batches could get better in the future, even for a colorway that's so simple.
 
I used these shoes at least once or twice a week to work and extra days on the weekends as well ever since I got them since they're so easy to wear with anything and can easily slip them on when I'm running late. Nowadays haven't worn them ever since covid19 hit and we were required to be quarantined in our homes, I don't really like keeping them in the shoebox which is why it is a bit dusty on the pics. Though even for over a year they still feel the same way as they did when I first got them and they didn't need any "breaking in" period at all they held up really well since then.
 
I'd rate these to be .8:1 ~ .85:1 though at the time I thought they were .9:1 but now It looks eh compared to other batches in the same price range nowadays hahaha, but I'd still rock em.
Thanks for reading
Have a cookie 🍪
 
Price: $120 Shipped through DHL
Though in total I spent around $240 usd in my currency because of double WU fees, and the tax import. I doubt anyone else would get unlucky as I did
W2C: Vicky/Staysucc
SKYPE/WHATSAPP/WECHAT: +86 15892088077
please double check the updated site with Sergio Barr

Just outside of Hero City, on its Western border, away from the main battlefront.
Four Shades, agents of the Devil Emperor, Yama, crawl through the darkness of the night toward the humans' most precious and heavily defended territory. As they zip past the forest on Hero City's western border, they arrive at the three-hundred-foot-high cliffs that lead to the buildings on the city's limits.
Malice, Demise, Vicious, and Greed all move as one, their bodies practically blending together in the darkness of the night.
"Let's start at the southern edge," the leader, Malice, says. She rubs her shadowy hands together and licks her lips. "I haven't been here before, but our intelligence says there are a bunch of humans holed up under Bahamut's pyramids. I bet we can find many pretty little girls for Master Yama."
Demise, the most powerful of the Shades, nods gruffly. "The Hero's daughter. We must find her first."
"Don't be a spoilsport!" Vicious yells. The most bizarre of the four Shades shifts her shape into a skinny little goblin with melting flesh. "I'm here to have fun. Fun, dammit! Don't think you can push me around! I'm gonna cut apart some men; make 'em scream!! Ehehehe!!"
"No," Greed says, her keen eyes sweeping the cliffs above. "We have to look for the child first. Once we find her, you can fool around all you want. I'll go with Demise. Vicious, you follow Malice and do as she says. Don't screw around, for once. You know what Master Yama will do to us if you mess things up like last time."
Vicious hesitates. She morphs back into her shadow body and slithers toward Greed to poke her shadowy forehead. "Tch! You're a boring sack of potatoes! That's why Master Yama likes me better! I'm a lot more fun in the sack, you dopey-brained bimbo! Nyahahaha!!"
Whap!
Greed backhands Vicious, knocking the cackling Shade back into the darkness. The attack doesn't even faze Vicious, as she immediately explodes into smoke and reforms her body. "Hahaha! Did I touch a nerve?!"
"Shut your mouth, idiot," Greed snarls. "I don't have time for your stupidity. Demise! Let's go!"
Without another word, Greed and Demise zip away, their bodies traveling through the darkness like fish in the sea.
Malice grabs Vicious by the ear. "You'd better pay attention, brat! I don't like Master Yama's younger toys, because you're all so damned hyper! Run your mouth around me, and I'll show you how nasty I can be! Got it?!"
The leader Shade's cruel grip somehow holds Vicious taut, preventing her from transforming into dark smoke and escaping Malice's grip. Faced with this cruel punishment, Vicious calms down and whimpers. "I-I'm sorry, Malice! Really sorry! I'll be good, I promise!"
"Damn right, you will," Malice growls. She throws Vicious to the ground like a sack of rocks. "Now, follow me. We're going to pick off as many cute little girls for Master Yama as we can. Do not leave even one scar on their bodies, understand?! Master Yama likes his harem young, pristine, and tight! Don't make me repeat myself."
Vicious ducks her head under the ruthlessness in Vicious' voice. "W-what if all we find are men and old women?"
"Do whatever you want," Malice answers. "Kill them, torture them, anything. A few measly fleshbag lives won't mean anything to me. But like Greed said, we're not here to have fun. We're here to nab the Hero's wife and daughter!"
Greed's excitement increases at the thought of torture being on the table. "I see! But how will we know what those two look like?"
"I've seen a few pictures of the Hero's wife," Malice casually answers. "As for the little girl, look for blond hair and blue eyes. She'll be about six years old. If you see a child fitting that description, just grab her! Better to be safe than sorry!"
"Is that why we're going to the Pyramids?" Vicious asks.
"That's right. A few demon scouts mentioned the humans built a shelter for the women, children, and the elderly there. I'll bet the kid we're looking for is inside."
"Ooooh! Well, let's go, then! We have to make Master Yama happy! Ehehehe!!"
Malice nods. A moment later, she and Vicious flicker away, traveling toward the southern section of the city.
Little do the four Shades know, but not far away from where they planned their meeting, the Hero's daughter stays busy helping her aunt Samantha heal injured soldiers inside the Hero City General Hospital. The building rests at the Western edge of the city, not far above the Shades' meeting location.
Having inadvertently skipped past their quarry, the Shades travel toward the heavily fortified safe zone at the south end of Hero City. There, deep beneath the Pyramids, inside several gigantic, hollowed out chambers, more then five hundred thousand women, children, and elderly humans and monsters sit at tables and on the floor. They wring their hands together as several screens around the underground interior display the scenes of battle taking place some ten or so miles from Hero City's borders.
The walls, ceiling, and floors of the underground rooms appear as a golden-brown hue, the room's color formed due to the rocks and sand reinforcing the interior. Along with the ancient Egyptian engravings on the walls, more modern electrical lights and television monitors give the rooms an odd mixture of ancient and advanced technology, mixing modern decor with classical designs.
Amidst the huddling citizens, hundreds of T-REX-wearing guards patrol back and forth, keeping their eyes peeled for any disturbances. They focus on the entrances and exits, making sure to have their guns ready at a moment's notice in case any demons come bursting into the safe zones. With Burrowers and Warpers potentially capable of breaching Hero City's defenses at any given moment, the guards can't help but feel nervous.
Unbeknownst to the humans, Malice and Vicious silently and stealthily slip into the inner chamber, keeping as far from the bright lights as possible. The two of them skulk about in the darkness, frowning in dismay as they realize the overwhelming majority of their prey have chosen to sit around and wait in the light-blanketed areas.
As beings comprised of darkness, neither Shade can step into even the most dimly-lit area without feeling their bodies start to decay. Let alone the light-flooded sections directly below or adjacent to lamps and ceiling lights, even the places where the light barely illuminates anything still causes the two invaders to shrink back reflexively.
"Damn," Vicious hisses, her voice transmitting to Malice telepathically. "These fleshbags aren't as stupid as we thought! Only a few of them are close enough for us to grab, and they're all old and ugly. Sheesh. We won't be able to get any good toys for Master Yama at this rate!"
"For now," Vicious answers, her tone neutral. "That could change, though. Let's hide behind those barrels over there, next to that doorway. It leads to a woman's bathroom. That's where the females go to piss and shit."
"Ooooh, smart!" Vicious says, her eyes lighting up with delight. "If we wait a while, we'll surely nab a few stragglers!"
"Maybe, but we can't just faff about. We're on a time limit."
Malice glances around the room. Her eyes fall on the many different lights preventing her advances.
Hmm. If I could smash those pesky bulbs and flood this lair in darkness... hehe... these humans wouldn't stand a chance. Too bad, it'll take me a bit of effort to know out more than five hundred lights, even if I throw a bunch of rocks at the speed of sound. Hmm... perhaps I can cut the power somehow...
While the leader of the Shades muses over a strategy, Vicious keeps her eyes peeled. Suddenly, she grabs Malice. "Kss! Look, sister! A little girl! She's heading for the bathroom!"
Hearing the younger Shades' cry of excitement, Malice nods. "Yes, good. Grab the girl and place her in the magic container. The more you can nab, the better. Now, be quiet, so I can think."
Malice returns to her rumination, while Vicious rubs her claws together with glee. A small child, perhaps six years old, toddles toward the bathroom, all by her lonesome. Her brown hair and pigtails sway up and down as she runs quickly.
"Gotta pee, gotta pee! Eugh! Can't hold it any longer!"
As the child moves away from the bright light of the main room toward the bathroom illuminated in the distance, she crosses into a small in-between area where the light is so faint that it almost disappears. In those twenty or so feet of distance, a strange, creeping, crawling sensation washes over her back.
Before the little girl can react, a pair of shadowy arms leaps out of the darkness from behind her, swings around her front, and grabs her by the mouth.
"Huh? Eugh?! Mmmph!"
The little girl barely lets out a squeak of fright. She tries to pull off the horribly scary hand grabbing her mouth, but before she can react, Vicious drags her back into the darkness and tabs the side of her head. The little girl loses consciousness and slumps in Vicious's grasp, entering a deep sleep she can never hope to wake from.
"Ehehehe!" Vicious laughs. "The stupid little brat peed herself! Oh, this is such great fun! I can't believe you're letting me do this all by myself! I hope more babies come toddling over!"
"Quiet!" Malice snaps. "Can't you see I'm trying to think? Bloody hell. All you 'freshies' are the same, always eager to do what our master says. That's just great, but don't get in my way! Just keep grabbing young meat for Master Yama."
Vicious snorts. "Tch. Fine! Your breath smells like poop anyway."
Without another word, Vicious summons shadow bindings onto the helpless child's arms and legs, then opens a small wormhole of shadow energy and stuffs her into a miniature storage dimension. This dimension is one all Shades can access, a personal space where they can place people and objects for safe-keeping, a hellish world of darkness that nobody can escape unless the Shades release them intentionally.
"Hee-hee! Ooh, what fun! Master Yama probably won't like it if I catch him some little boys, but I bet they'd be fun to torture, too! Ehehe! I'll just grab any kid I see! A lady's gotta have her fun, after all!"

The following contains a transcript from a short radio broadcast that has been picked up by various listeners across the continental United States. Many have been perplexed by its sudden appearance and how it seems to preempt whatever song or radio program they are listening to at the time. It has even been known to appear on streaming programs such as podcasts or Spotify. Listeners have described hearing different episodes and there have been many situations and incidents.
A 23 year old college student named Yuvisela contacted me with her account of hearing the broadcast. She and her boyfriend had encountered the broadcast while driving one sultry summer afternoon from Austin, TX.
So I have this thing with waterfalls. I’m a little obsessed with them. In my free time and when I’m not paying attention in lecture, I like to look on the internet at pictures of them and daydream that I’m there: the roar of the splashing water, the white foamy spray, my bare toes dipped into the icy spring. I’ve got a Pinterest page with hundreds of falls that I would like to visit one day. Niagara, Havasu, Victoria Falls, Gullfoss, Iguazu; they’re all on there. I keep them all catalogued for my bucket list.
Yet, how many people go to the grave with their bucket list hardly finished? I bet a lot.
My boyfriend, Gabriel, likes to mess with me about my obsession. He’ll come up behind me while I’m on my computer or look over my shoulder at my phone and see that I’m looking at waterfalls.
“Don’t go chasing waterfalls, stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to,” he’ll sing when he catches me. It’s this old song he knows, TLC or something. He’s about six years older than me. I’ll joke with him to leave me alone and quit singing that old music, ask him if he used to listen to that on an 8-track or something.
“No, my older sister listened to it on CD. You know CD’s? Those little plastic things with the holes in them? That little slot in your car’s stereo, a CD goes in there. They don’t make ‘em in the new cars anymore.”
We’ve had a variation of this same conversation a bunch of times. It’s kind of a running joke between the two of us—him poking fun at my waterfall obsession and me making fun of how old he is—and while he thinks the waterfall thing is a cute little quirk of mine, he also has been supportive of my passion. That’s why he surprised me with the trip that summer. He knew that I was yearning to see some of these places. He knew that he wanted to make me happy. He knew that my resources were limited. He knew that we weren’t getting any younger; I was 23 and still had a semester to go.
But he also knew that we weren’t getting any richer, either. At least not anytime soon. I know I’m a little bit older for a college student, but it’s taken me a bit longer on account of having to work and stuff. I can’t take a full load every semester. Money’s always tight. I work full time and barely stay ahead, even sending some of my money to help my mom out. Gabriel offered to help me out some and we’d even talked about moving in together, but we had only been together a year at that point and I wasn’t quite ready.
Before my dad had passed, I’d promised him that I was going to get my college degree and I wanted to do it all on my own. While I loved Gabriel and could see myself marrying him, I didn’t want to deal with a transition like that so close to the finish line. Besides, we were getting along so well as it was. Why mess with a good thing?
And it was a good thing that kept better. Just when I thought that I couldn’t love Gabriel more, on my birthday he surprised me with the best present I’ve ever gotten. It was a little black notebook with this kind of leathery cover. While the notebook itself was nice, it was what was inside that was the true present. At some point, he had gone onto my Pinterest page and written down page after page of waterfalls, organizing them by country and state. He had put little squares beside them, boxes to check off. The last two pages were Texas and Oklahoma. He had written a note there. It read:

“Let’s start now...”
-Gabriel

* * *
So far, the trip had been a blast. We had started out in Abilene where we both lived and where I attended college. From there, we went to a place called Gorman Falls at this state park. It was one of the tallest waterfalls in the state and all of the foliage and moss around it was lush and green and for a while, if I crossed my eyes just right it was like I wasn’t even in Texas.
We couldn’t hit all the sites in a day. It was a road trip with multiple nights in hotels. After Gorman Falls and staying at a hotel, we headed towards Austin and stopped off at Hamilton Pool Preserve. The waterfall wasn’t as tall as Gorman, but I have to say I liked it better. The water formed a curtain as it poured off of a rocky shelf and into this sunken grotto of blue green water.
We stayed at this magical place for hours, swimming in the water and soaking up the sun. I could’ve stayed longer, but it was starting to get crowded, so we headed to Austin for a night on the town on 6th Street.
The next day we slept in and got a late start on the road. Lunch was at a Whataburger outside Waco. We sat and ate our food and looked at our phones. I browsed Instagram and my eyes skimmed over a gorgeous site. Yep, another waterfall. I slid my phone over to Gabriel.
“Look!” I said.
“Am I supposed to be looking at the butt or the waterfall?” he asked. An Instagram model was standing with her back to the camera, looking up at the water in awe.
“The waterfall, silly.”
“Seriously, that skinny white girl ain’t got nothing on you. Better let me take a look, just to be sure.”
I stood and twirled around quickly, teasing him. “Ok, so back to the waterfall. Did you look at it?”
“Yeah, it’s beautiful babe. Where was this one?”
“Iceland,” I sighed.
“Oh, right.”
“It’s not looking good for the time being. Maybe in a few years, yeah?”
“Just gotta see how the election goes. I ain’t holding my breath.”
See, neither of us were U.S. citizens. We were what you call DACA recipients. Both of us had wound up in America via illegal means on behalf of our parents, back when we were kids. This was when we were too young to have any say in the matter. I can hardly remember my life before, my life back in Mexico. I grew up here, went to school here. Texas and America is the only home I’ve ever known. Gabriel, he was originally from Guatemala. His situation is more or less the same.
If we were to leave the country, then we might risk not being able to get back in. You could apply for eligibility to travel if you had special circumstances, but they didn’t allow travel for leisure. We didn’t even have passports. Until then, our dreams of traveling—something we both wanted to do—were just that: dreams.
There was a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Obama and that DREAM act, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. You know, the dreamers or whatever? That’s what they call us. I guess they call it that because it’s just a freaking fantasy that disappears at the slightest thing—the sunrise, your phone alarm—out of your grasp as soon as you start your day.
Anyways, I applied for the DREAM act, but it hasn’t been a guarantee. We’re all stuck in a sort of limbo, waiting for the people in Washington to figure out what the hell to do with us, using us as a bargaining chip.
Not Gabriel though, he didn’t apply for the act. Part of it was that he was bad about procrastinating. The other part was that he was paranoid about signing up. I told him that he was an idiot and if he blew his chance to become a legal permanent resident, then I wouldn’t follow him to Guatemala if he got deported. He told me that he didn’t trust the program, that once they had you in the system they could track you easier, keep tabs on you. Said he knew a guy that got deported this way. I told him that the guy must’ve gotten into some legal trouble, a DUI or something, to have been deported.
“We’re all just one slip up from some legal trouble. Hell, some people consider us illegal right now,” he had said.
It was hard to argue against that, I guess. At least he knew where he stood, didn’t have that false hope. Sometimes I think it’s the hope that gets you, makes things worse.
Gabriel frowned and handed the phone back to me, looked out the window and took a sip of his Coke. I suddenly felt bad and ungrateful. Here was this amazing man that had planned out an awesome road trip just for me and I was busy looking at other far off adventures, not appreciating what I had right in front of me, the moment I was living in right now.
I leaned forward and kissed him. "I don't care where I'm at as long as you're with me," I said and he smiled.
What I told him just then, it was true. That didn’t mean I was going to grow complacent and quit dreaming.
They did call us dreamers after all.
It was one of those giant truck stops, the kind that was a little smaller than a Wal-Mart or Target, but just barely. We filled up and paced around inside and looked at the aisles and aisles of candy, the funny toys and souvenirs, and the tacky t-shirts.
“Hey Yuvi, whaddaya say? It’s your size.” Gabriel asked, holding up a black t-shirt with glittery letters. “PROUD TRUCKER WIFE” it read.
“Only if you get that one,” I said, pointing at a T-shirt with a semi-truck on it that read “I JUST DROPPED A LOAD”.
“Eww,” Gabriel said, laughing.
We both wandered around on our own. They had a huge candy section and I was looking to see if they had any vero elotes candy. I had just found a bag on a bottom shelf when Gabriel came skipping up.
“We are so getting this,” he said, holding up a plastic CD case.
“What is it?”
“Best of the ‘90s. It’s got your song on there, see? ‘Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls.’ Can we get it? It’s only 3.99.”
“Ha, ok. But only if you buy me this,” I said, handing him the candy.
There was traffic from hell just south of Denton on account of construction and a car wreck or two. We were stop-and-go for what seemed like an hour. I was passenger side and Gabriel idled along.
“Ok. I think now’s the time to break out this bad boy,” Gabriel said as he started tearing at the plastic wrap around the CD case.
“I think this is the first time I’ve even used the CD player in this car.”
“Aw hell yeah,” Gabriel said as the first song started playing. “Gettin’ Jiggy With It.”
“Getting what, now?”
“It’s your boy, Will Smith. Y’know the Fresh Prince? Betcha didn’t know he had a little music career.”
“That guy from I Am Legend and Aladdin?”
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I guess. His older work is much better.”
“Well I don’t know. You act like you're this old and wise millennial. You’re not that much older than me, y’know.”
“I’m telling ya, my Gen-X sister raised me on all of this stuff. I think she was Gen-X. I don’t know the damn cutoffs. Anyways, she babysat me a lot growing up while Mama was working and stuff. She cultured my little ass. Ooh, here it is!”
A new song started playing. I couldn’t help but laugh at how it started. “It sounds like porn music!”
“Nah, shhhh. Shhh.” Gabriel bobbed his head along to the beat.
The chorus started to worm it’s way into my head. The song was ok, I guess. I still can’t really listen to it to this day.
“You gotta listen to this dope rap coming up,” Gabriel said.
There was the sound of hissing and popping, wet logs burning in a fire. Whispers intermingled with the sound effects. One of the voices rose above the others and said “Listen!” harshly in Spanish, you know, “Escuchen! Escuchen!”, several times.
We both looked at each other with wide eyes. The traffic crept forward slowly and Gabriel kept his hands on the wheel and I kept mine in my lap and that’s when he started to talk. It was this happy sounding older guy, talking right there on my car’s speakers.
Gooood afternoon folks, Buck Hensley here with a special rush hour edition of “The Rules of the Road”. Hope ya’ll are doing alright out there while you’re idling on the clogged arteries of America’s highways and byways, breathing in those delicious exhaust fumes. I know that good ol’ Mother Earth likes to take a big fat rip of that stuff from time to time, although as of late she seems to be getting quite a contact high from that delicious Co2 and starting to feel the effects just a little too much.
And yet you all keep puff-puffing and passing, never slowing down. What with your jet planes and your driving and your travel and your neverending consumption and your cow farts and whatnot. All I’m saying is that you folks might wanna slow down a bit on that stuff, because I’ve seen the end results and all I can say is that they are hilarious. But I understand if you wanna keep on keeping on and having a good time. All I can say is smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
Speaking of good times, that reminds me of today’s special “Rule of the Road”. You’re gonna want to listen to this one as it’s all about good times. Why that was Carla’s favorite sitcom for a spell there, “Good Times”. She’d watch reruns on into the night, the TV casting a pale glow that was kinda comforting across the bed, and I’d wake up to live studio laughter and her snoring softly beside me, the serene look of slumber on her face and the years I’d wasted.
Gabriel and I both looked at eachother. He shrugged and reached for the stereo. I shooed his hand away. I wanted to listen to it. The voice continued.
But I digress...well now, on to today’s “Rule of the Road”. If at any point during your journey you stop off for a pitstop or a potty break and you enter a public restroom to do your business, take note of the writing on the stalls. You might notice some graffiti that reads, “For a Good Time, Call” and then a phone number listed after it. If you do notice this, then take the number down for later use. Whenever you are in dire need of a good time, then give that number a call.
Now before you go off with a bee in your bonnet and tell me how you ain’t gonna call no sketchy phone number taken off a lady’s or men’s room wall, let me just tell you that this will be worth it. You can trust me. When has old Bucky ever let ya down?
I know what you’re gonna say next though, you’re gonna say, “Buck, I don’t ever call no numbers on my phone. I’m deathly afraid of voices on the other line. If I can’t text and send little emojis and the like, then forget it. If I can’t use an app to order Thai food or a pizza, then I go hungry that night. I haven’t even made an appointment to a doctor since I’ve lived with my parents. What if since we can’t see each other’s faces we start talking at the same time and we talk over each other and then say, ‘oops sorry, no you go ahead’ and then we both say it again at the same time and then we both start trying to talk again and then get stuck in some sort of infinite loop?”
And to that I say, “fair enough.” Don’t use the phone. The consequences of not following this rule are a little less dire than previous rules you may have heard. If you don’t follow this rule then you will simply miss out on a good time. That’s it. But you wouldn’t want to miss out on anything, would ya?
Welp. That’s all I’ve got on this fine late afternoon. May the wind be always at your back, your picnic basket full of snacks, and your cheese ever be pepper jack. Ya’ll stay sane out there. Stay symbiotic. Stay lonely. I'm Buck Hensley and these are "The Rules of the Road".
The voice instantly stopped and the song returned playing. Gabriel had a dumbfounded look on his face.
"What the hell?" he said and tried to rewind the CD.
"Umm, was that part of the song? Maybe a different version?"
"No way," he said and kept rewinding and playing the song over. The little skit that we heard never returned.
“Weird,” I said.
“Beats the heck out of me.”
“Maybe the CD is haunted. That was pretty spooky, y’know? That voice telling us to listen.”
“Maybe it was like a hidden track or something. They used to put those on CD’s back in the day. And this CD was pretty cheap and has all these songs on it. Could’ve been like a pirated deal.”
We weren’t really scared by the broadcast or whatever it was, just more confused. It was only looking back that we saw the importance of what we had heard and how from there our path seemed to be led a certain way.. At the time it was just this weird little thing, a funny little mystery that was forgettable for the time being.
We crept along for a while without incident, the traffic slowly gaining momentum. The music on the CD played on as usual and we heard no extra voices. The songs played like they were supposed to. Everything was fine.
Of course, outside of Gainesville, it hit me. I had been trying to ignore it and power through until we stopped for the night, but I had the sudden urge to pee. All that slow traffic and iced tea and a bottle of water must’ve caught up with me. This was intense. Usually I could hold it pretty good, but I had to get Gabriel to stop at the first exit we saw.
It was this gas station kind of off by itself and it was all dingy and old and faded and didn’t look the cleanest. Gabriel parked and my lower stomach and bladder ached as soon as I stood up and got out of the car. I burst into the place and made a beeline towards the restroom, over in the corner past the ATM and the glass fridges down a hall with burnt out fluorescent lights.
They were singles that you could lock, one for men and one for women. The floor was sticky and paper towels piled out of a trash can and a strip of toilet paper floated in a pool of standing water. A condom dispensing machine was on the wall opposite the toilet.
It wasn’t the worst public restroom I’d ever used and I didn’t have many options; I was literally about to piss myself. I would have to do the hover move over the toilet seat. No seat covers in a joint like this and I didn’t have time to prep it with toilet paper anything.
So I was doing my business, my thighs burning from the squat, and kind of laughing to myself at the condom dispenser machine with its brands like the “FRENCH TICKLER” and that’s when I saw it, the graffiti written in Sharpie, right there on the vending machine. It said, “For A Good Time, Call 9xx-XXX-XXXX [Redacted]”.
After I finished and had washed my hands, I snapped a pic of the graffiti. I figured Gabriel would get a kick out of it.
“You’re supposed to call it. That’s the rule,” Gabriel said when I showed him.
“I’m too nervous. You call. You heard it, too.”
“Chicken.”
“Yep.”
“How many of those things do you even see? I’ve seen them all the time. I bet it’s just dudes pranking each other or fucking with their ex-girlfriends.”
“Well I found it in the ladies room, so hopefully it wasn’t dudes.”
“Okay, you enter it in your phone and I’ll dial. I’ll try to do a caller ID block or something. Let’s just see what happens.”
“Are you sure?”
“Eh come on. Maybe it’s fate.”
The Texas travel center appeared on the southbound side of the interstate and we were soon crossing the Red River on into Oklahoma as I transcribed the numbers from the picture to the keypad on my dialer.
A large casino came into view. It was ginormous with this sort of facade of all these famous buildings on its outside. I could see Big Ben and that Roman coliseum and all these other world architecture things. The casino just stretched on and on.
“Aw, not again,” Gabriel said.
I had just finished transposing the number into the phone. The crazy casino had distracted me. “What is it, babe?”
“Another jam.”
The traffic was veering into the right hand lane, but it was still moving at a decent clip, like 45 mph or something. After a mile of this, I could see a couple of highway patrol cars parked across the interstate, blocking both lanes of traffic. A state trooper stood out in the middle, waving a flashlight thing and directing traffic to take the exit. There was still about an hour of daylight left and you couldn’t even see the light. He was just using it as a baton. Somewhere off in the distance there was a thick wall of smoke filling the evening sky with this surreal haze.
“Wonder what’s going on?” I asked.
“Who knows? Grassfire, maybe.”
We followed the other cars and trucks down the exit ramp. Some turned right, some turned left.
“Right or left? Right or left?” Gabriel asked.
There seemed to be more cars turning left. Maybe they knew something we didn’t. But then, we would be stuck behind them and it was getting dark and we were already behind schedule. I wanted to get the hell out of the car.
“Um, right! Right,” I said, trying to pull up the GPS on my phone. It was lagging and my service had kicked over to 3G. “Freaking Verizon,” I muttered.
We drove down a highway past empty fields fenced off by barbed wire. There were houses and barns and oilfield pump jacks every so often, but not much else. No gas stations or a sign of a town or much else, really. After driving into all this nothingness for a while, my phone completely lost all signal. The cars around us thinned out and there was only a black SUV in front of us.
“Hey babe, I have no service and can’t pull up the GPS. Wanna turn back around?”
“Nah, let’s just keep going. We’ve come this far, yeah? We’ll hit a main road eventually, get some service.”
I sighed in response as he kept driving, let him know I didn’t approve.
“We’ll turn north soon, ok? All roads lead to Turner Falls.”
I checked my phone every fifteen seconds, looking for a signal.
“C’mon Gabe, we’re gonna get lost out here. Let’s just go back, follow the other cars or see if they’ve opened up the interstate again.”
“Look, this looks like a good road. We’ll cut north here and drive aways and then cut back west towards the interstate. It’s literally impossible to get lost out here. Just trying not to lose any more time.”
But it wasn’t so simple and the nervous feeling in my stomach was validated when the road we drove north on turned to gravel. The sun was long gone and our headlights cut a tunnel through the night as barbed wire whizzed by, separating us from pastures that were elevated above the road on grassy rises. I started to fear the worst, thinking of every horror movie I’d ever seen that had started out this way: the headstrong man refusing to admit that he was lost and didn’t know where he was going and the increasingly pissed off and worried girl that was with him.
“Babe, please just turn around,” I pleaded.
“Ok, ok. Still no signal, eh?”
I looked down at my phone. Finally, there was one bar of service. “Yes! Hang on.”
“Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” Gabriel said, his voice growing louder.
My stomach dropped as what appeared in the rear view mirror was just as scary as any sort of Freddy or Jason or Leatherface from the big screen.
Part 2