These posts have been outstanding and super creative! Thank you all for your help! Just a few more and the list is finished! (and if it is finished don't hesitate to post your ideas anyway, we could always use more!)
The jaunty music stopped when the half orc bounty hunter walked through the saloon doors, the halfling bartender knew by the look in his eye that this man was trouble, so hastily grabbed the bottles and glasses, and hid under the bar, ignoring the ones on the shelves as he regularly cast wards on them for just such an occasion. the half orc took a look around the bar, eyes settling on the tiefling in the corner, carving his name in to the table top. the bounty hunters hand moved toward the big iron on his hip and said with a loud voice. "I'm here for Horned Harry, that you?!" the tiefling spit just to the side of the spatoon. "Ya I'm him, wanna make somthin of it?" Horned Harry snapped his fingers with a penumbral spark and the room filled with darkness.

D100 Interesting Fantasy Western Encounters,

so I'm making a campaign set in the future(well relative to mid evil fantasy that is...) where guns are common place and the trains run on time and I'd like some ideas for some encounters I can run. it can either be on the road or in a town, and it doesn't have to include combat

1. a flying train descends, surrounding around our heroes like a snake, then bandits pop out of the train and demand their money or their lives, if the battle starts going poorly. the train then flies off leaving behind any remaining bandits, they chase after the train for a ways and, seeing they've been abandoned, surrender and/or beg for their lives.(u/sirkibblesnbits )
2. While walking down the road, the heroes see a pair of disembodied legs walk up to them,invisible hands try to riffle through their pockets and belongings. if confronted, the would-be thief admits that he thought he was fully invisible and that the potion that snake oil salesman sold him must have been watered down.(u/sirkibblesnbits )
3. a caravan of goblins, in blood stained clothing too big for them, wander by in covered wagons. They say that they are merely halflings off to some nonsence location that they had heard of at some point. they attack any traveler they see that is clearly unarmed but will pretend to be halflings if they see any signs of weapons or combat prowess, will also run/drive away at speed if any of their number is killed (u/sirkibblesnbits )
4. a pair of thieves in a secluded spot near the road are loudly arguing how to they are going to split the money while are trying to open a stolen safe with a stick of dynamite and, unless intervened, will neglect to distance themselves from the explosion. killing them both but leaving the safe open, with its contents intact (my favorite encounter in red dead redemption 2)
5. a dwarf in his underwear using a rust monster to pull his wagon by using a iron dagger on a fishing pole, if interacted with, the dwarf stops the beast by smacking it in the head with a wooden club knocking it unconscious. if asked he'll gladly vent about what happened. after an exhausting day in the mine, a rust monster had emerged from the depths of the cave it ate everything it could get its antennae on. it also ate the chain keeping his horse tethered. so when he awoke all his metal possessions were turned to rust, his horse was long gone, and a rust monster was munching on what was left of his armor. so he sneaked(snuck?) the wagon into position and then before it could object tied up the beast and stuck the dagger that he keeps under his pillow on a line and into it's face and the rest is history. he is too proud to ask for assistance but will hesitantly accept any charity offered. when he set off he puts some smelling salts to the antennae of the rust monster and continues on his way. (u/sirkibblesnbits )
6. A lone stranger, clad in trench coat and ten-gallon hat, stands in the middle of the road with the sun at his back. he stops the party saying “Now, how’s about you hand over any yer valuables.” If the party refuses, a pair of draconic wings block out the setting sun as they unfurl from his back. “I wasn’t askin” It’s a young adult blue dragon, just come into adulthood, testing out his new powers. The party can fight him, hand their belongings over, or, with the right Persuasion roll (DC 18) convince him to let them join him in a spot of thievin’ and lootin’ ( u/Splashdown119)
7. Carniverous tumbleweeds. nuf said. (u/thebarberbarian)
8. An air genasi enlisting the party to help her lasso a twister (u/thebarberbarian)
9. A nearby gold mine has been taken over by a dao that has enslaved all the miners (u/thebarberbarian)
10. Wizard duels at High Moon (u/thebarberbarian)
11. A herd of undead horses has been appearing every night. If you follow them they'll eventually lead you to where they died in battle, and to the artifact that is keeping their restless souls bound to this plane (u/thebarberbarian)
12. Quest for the legendary Mithril Spurs (u/thebarberbarian)
13. A herd of cow-sized dinosaurs being driven by kobolds riding velociraptors. They pay you little mind, but are prepared to defend themselves if provoked. (u/ElZoof)
14. Six gunmen arguing fiercely over who’s turn it is to have Main Street for a high-noon showdown. Any attempt to interfere results on all six turning on the interlopers.(u/ElZoof)
15. Two strangely dressed humans fiddling with a sleek-looking horseless carriage with doors that look like wings. If questioned, they’re conducting “weather experiments” and will ask you to bring them glowing rocks from a nearby mine. (u/ElZoof)
16. The party is traveling between towns on a dusty road. It's nearing dusk, and the party is getting ready to hunker down when suddenly they hear the thundering of hooves! They look around but can't find the telltale dustcloud of whatever person(s) or beast(s) are making the noise. The sounds of the many hooves grow louder, and with them come the sounds of wranglers, tippy ki yaying and yippy ki ohhing, but still no sign of any herd or riders. Coincidentally one looks up and gasps, "Ghost Riders! Ghost Riders in the sky!" (u/LilyWineAuntofDemons)
17. A railroad tycoon needs some squatters cleared out from his land. Turns out the land is a druidic Grove that's planned to be torn down for the railroad. (u/joetom1992)
18. Party comes to a town with a bandit problem. In two days the bandits are going to ride in and take the money, one way or another. (u/joetom1992)
19. Burried beneath the mountain is an ancient evil. It'll stay dormant if left alone, but word is starting to spread about gold in the hills. (u/joetom1992)
20. An undead stranger enters a saloon, and challenges one patron to drink or draw, i.e. match the revenant drink for drink, or match him in a gunfight. The stranger explains he was hung for killing a man who stole his beer. He was cursed to wander, challenging someone every night. If someone outdrinks him, he can rest. Otherwise, he challenges them to pistols at noon. This revenant must lose one of these contests to find rest. ("Drink with the Living Dead" by ghoultown.) (u/Kronk458 and u/Ljmroper)
21. They encounter a stranger with an strangely big handgun. The stranger has in gun terms almost giant colt .44 (a bit iron one could say) hanging on his hip and he demands information of whereabouts of infamous criminal Rexas Ted ( u/globaros)
22. You see an outlaw you recognise from a wanted poster. should you pursue them a thrilling chase ensues. when you capture the outlaw, they reveal themselves to be a changeling who acts as a decoy for the real outlaws (or they do it for the thrill of outrunning bounty hunters). ( u/Eraepsoel)
23. A shabby travelling carnival has monstrous animals such as as an owlbear and an ankheg, that are ill-treated. If you ask the boss why they aren’t fed properly, he gets angry and tries to have his boys throw you out. ( u/Eraepsoel)
24. A bar fight breaks out, but just before it really gets going, in walks the town sheriff - a wizard - who calms everyone’s emotions with an enchantment spell. ( u/Eraepsoel)
25. you find a traveling band of Mariachi kobolds. ( u/nameless88)
26. you find Cubes McGee, the roughest toughest low-down meanest gelatinous cube in the west. Word is he's been rustling Old Man Withers' sheep. You can tell by all the sheep skeletons floating inside him. He stands 5'8" tall, including the cowboy hat. Don't get too close or he'll slowly eject a bullet in your general direction. ( u/PM_Me_Rude_Haiku)
27. You encounter a human cowboy lassoing some minor air elementals. ( u/ken_NT)
28. you find A chromoform (color-changing) dragonborn in the middle of a shootout with a lizardfolk outlaw when a roc, that had been menacing the town, swoops in and starts chasing him. If left uninterrupted the dragonborn manages to slay the roc by collapsing a water tower. “You might say I go wherever whiskeys cheap and hell waiting to be raised. You might say I’m already a piece of hell raised up. Name’s... Rango.” ( u/LordMosnar )
29. At nightfall some kobolds pop up from the ground, looking around quizzically. They were tunneling to the bank but got lost. ( u/LordMosnar )
30. A stranger strides into town through the midday haze. Tall, gangly, face hidden under a wide brimmed hat. He challenges the infamous Snake-Oil Sid, a Yuan-Ti outlaw, to a shootout. Everyone knows the stranger won’t last two swigs of whiskey; Sid outshoots every bounty man that comes to town. When the two meet, Sid empties his crossbow as fast as wind, and the bolts whistle towards the stranger before he even draws his weapon... clanging off the stranger’s metal chest. In the stunned silence that follows, the warforged cracks a mechanical smile, converts his arm into a crossbow, and pumps Snake-Oil Sid’s guts full of iron. ( u/LordMosnar )
31. There's a strange bank that shows up randomly around the region, never too close nor too far from a given town. The bank owner offers loans to those who venture out to his moving bank at extraordinarily low-interest rates. The twist is likely that it's a Night Hag, who has bizarre methods of determining someone's loan-worthiness. Sometimes she collects a sample of blood, sometimes she simply consults her crystal ball to determine if giving the applicant money now will influence her mysterious long-term goals. I think this works best as a random encounter or rumor - it's best if the PCs don't have a reason to "go after" the lender. ( u/m0dredus )
32. a coyote appears and takes the dumbest party member on a spiritual journey (Guatemalan insanity pepper not included) ( u/DogmaSychroniser )
33. you find a man on a horse, his hands are bound and theres a noose around his neck tied to the high branches of a tree. he is surrounded by few dead bodies and more then a few arrows. this bandit was sent to be hung, but before the sheriff could hang him they were attacked leaving only the bandit and horse left. the horse is trying to graze but if that horse moves any further he'll slide off, and the noose will finish the job.(the ballad of buster scruggs) ( u/sirkibblesnbits)
34. In the middle of the desert, your ears slowly here, a mellow tune in the distance. (Depending on the time of day, the tune is different — morning to afternoon, cheery or tries at least — afternoon to night, a lantern is seen that glimmers with green torch light, and a gothic tune is heard), the tune gets louder and louder, and your eyes wander and you find a satyr, chained to an anchor playing a piano. The sand around him is turning into glass crystals. Coming closer you see that there is more than just a piano, instruments as well. They seem to be instruments of the bards; The Anstruth Harp, Canaith Mandolin, Cli Lyre, Doss Lute, Fochlucan bandore, Mac-Fuirmidh cittern and even the Ollamh harp. Talking to the satyr, you find out his name is Lucy, and that he is bound by a fiend (Erinyes) to play music for eternity, no rest, and that he is bound to these instruments. If a PC tries to take one, they cannot lift it off the ground. You also learned out that Lucy left the Nine Hell’s without acknowledging it, he was a prized composer of music. To unbound him, you need to go to an abandoned church and seek this fiend. Going in, you are teleported into Avernus, without you knowing until you walk out.( u/Gods_Cat)
35. you spot the legendary jackalope!(u/FirstChAoS)
36. you encounter the legendary cactus cat!(u/FirstChAoS)
37. you see a dragon train napper fly off with an entire train (u/FirstChAos)
38. There's a problem in the area with an ogre wrestling cattle. Not rustling, wrestling. (u/FirstChAoS)
39. A battle is going to happen at high noon, a white hat (Paladin) facing off against a black hat (antipaladin)(u/FirstChAoS)
40. Two giants get into conflict after declaring that “the town is not big enough for the two of us”. They are literally correct.(FirstChAoS)
41. Devils set up a railroad using trains driven by a soul burning infernal combustion engine.(u/FirstChAoS)
42. A fish mongeskinner selling the pelts of furry trout.(u/FirstChAoS)
43. Cowboys struggling to get a herd of sidehill gougers down the mountain to the market.(u/FirstChAoS)
44. A saguaro cactus themed treant needs your help chasing out peccary(wild pig) riding goblins who despoil the land.(u/FirstChAoS)
45. to track down a criminal, you must chase them through a grove of jumping cactus.(u/FirstChAoS)
46. Werecoyotes menace the city(u/FirstChAoS)
47. As long as the party is good aligned or has a reputation for being good, whenever they get into an encounter way over their head, a mysterious stranger, in high collared trench coat and widebrim hat slung low, will very rarely appear some distance away and provides covering fire with his revolver. He disappears in a heat haze once the battle is over. In the offchance that he dies in the encounter, the party can loot his corpse to find him a regular looking man, nothing on him but his clothes, a revolver and a note saying "One good turn deserves another" (u/MutatedMutton)
48. A grave keeper is corrupted by an evil power released from the ground while digging graves. With his new powers, he starts animating corpses from the grave. ( u/mrboom74)
49. A small town is in an uproar after their town hero was murdered in cold blood. A reward has been placed on the head of the murderer, who fled to the hills. (Based on Bill Hickok) (u/mrboom74)
50. A doppelgänger has killed the mayor and assumed his role as the town leader. The town is flooded with rumors of the mayor’s new demeanor as of late. The doppelgänger has heard of gold in the region and is hoping to exploit the town for cheap labor. (u/mrboom74)
51. Two or more rival gangs fight for rule of a mining town. (u/mrboom74)
52. An wizened, flinty-eyed man arrives in town on a small wagon, and in a few days he sets up a small general store called Delivered Wishes. He sells the usual potions and weapons, though no one knows where they come from. However, if anyone browses long enough, they come across the material object they most desire. The old man will give it to them, but for a price. Whoever buys the desired object is told to spread the word about the shop, is called on psychically in a few days’ time by the old man(a devil in disguise) to murder another townsperson, and claim their soul for him. Soon, the whole town is at war, and the only way the PCs can break the deals made is by killing the devil. (u/grimoireofstrangers)
53. The PCs are hired by two prospecting dwarves to clear out an abandoned mine just outside of an up-and-coming town, which they say has a serious phase spider problem. As it turns out, the phase spiders are the ravenous pets of a Drow cult living underneath the town. (u/grimoireofstrangers)
54. A man from a remote village or settlement has gone missing - local elders believe him to be possessed by a Wendigo. (u/yuckscott)
55. a crew of prospectors panning for gold have mistakenly trespassed on land claimed by territorial Gnolls ( u/yuckscott)
56. A ritualistic shaman invites the party on a "spirit quest" - which involves ingesting psychedelic cacti and viewing things that may come to pass. ( u/yuckscott)
57. A crew of prisoners condemned to railroad construction duty have escaped, taking the company's blasting munitions along with them.( u/yuckscott)
58. A local bandit leader shows up in town, calling out the local sheriff/marshal/lawman to face him.(u/yuckscott)
59. The town saloonkeeper offers a highly toxic and potent new form of home-distilled alcohol, which he refers to simply as "Coffin Polish"(u/yuckscott)
60. The town gunsmith has been robbed, and among the stolen items is a one-off prototype for his signature quadruple-barrel shotgun.( u/yuckscott)
61. The party comes across three dead bodies in the middle of a clearing in a graveyard. They appear to have killed each other in a standoff. On one of the bodies is a note with a name of one of the people buried at the graveyard. If they Dig it up, they find gold. (u/ComfortablyYou)
62. Last week, the sheriff hung a werewolf. Now, he's back, and he needs to be hung again and shot with a silver bullet. In that order.(u/Holy_Hand_Grenadier)
63. The well is being held hostage by a desperate water elemental. If the party can get him to a river, he'll let the townsfolk have the water. Otherwise, he'll fight to keep it until his last... Not breath, exactly.( u/Holy_Hand_Grenadier)
64. A magical gunsmith wants to use an abandoned ranch for a workshop. He'll pay handsomely for the removal of its current inhabitants, the ghosts of the cowboys who used to live there. (u/Holy_Hand_Grenadier)
65. A group of jackalwere have been harassing ranchers and stealing cattle and sheep. Tracking them down leads the party to a canyon were their mistress, a hag skinwalker, is planning a blood ritual. (u/Brand_News_Detritus)
66. A watering hole that's been infested by a water weird conjured by a land baron trying to drive the property owners off their homestead.(u/Brand_News_Detritus)
67. A circle of druids who can all wildshape into horses (the Circle of the Stampede). They roam the plains, attacking those who wantonly kill the animals of the prairie and attack mining expeditions scaring the land.(u/Brand_News_Detritus)
68. A traveling medicine man who’s secretly a warlock. His cures and tonics all work as advertised but also charm townsfolk into the service of the warlock’s patron.(u/Brand_News_Detritus)
69. A band of gunslingers clearly not from around here that ride giant predatory birds instead of horses.(u/Brand_News_Detritus)
70. A pride of griffons have roosted on a tall bluff near a ranching town and have been killing cows and horses owned by the locals for months. So far no one’s been able to climb the bluff and kill/chase them out.(u/Brand_News_Detritus)
71. An emissary of an archfey is fighting the emissary of an archdevil for who gets the right to appear to travelers at a particular crossroad and offer them a deal.(u/Brand_News_Detritus)
72. People warn not to go in to the towns graveyard at night, as it is haunted by the undead. The townsfolk leave there dead at the borders of the graveyard, as they think it is the only thing keeping the undead at bay. When night comes, a thick mist roles over the tombstones obscuring everything from the knee down. Wandering the graveyard is a shovel wielding skeleton, dressed in dirty, torn clothes. The skeleton is not hostile, and instead it wanders the graveyard digging and burying the dead. The skeleton is the only undead creature in the graveyard. (u/ADangDirtyBoi)
73. The sheriff asks the adventurers to accompany a farm hand back home. He came to town the night before, talking about a large, dead looking tree with a number of nooses hanging off its branches. It appeared not too far from the farm one night, and got closer each night since. He was sent to town to fetch some help. When the group returns with him, they find the place abandoned. After some investigation they find five people hanging from the tree in the centre of the farm. (u/ADangDirtyBoi)
74. As they’re travelling the group there’s someone shouting for help. In the distance, someone is perched atop a rock with three axe beaks angrily standing around the rock trying to get to them. Their horse is dead and laying on the ground in front of the rock. They can’t offer much, but they do have a map that is meant to lead to an abandoned mine not too far from here.(u/ADangDirtyBoi)
75. As the sun gets close to setting, a large black carriage rolls in to town and stops not too far from the bank. The carriage driver is obscured by dark robes, and on closer inspection the horses drawing the carriage are not alive - they’re constructs - with red gem stone eyes, shaped metal bodies and steam coming front heir noses. Not too soldierly after, the carriage launches open revealing five bandits who and a large crank operated Gatling gun with crystals placed at the end of the barrels. As the gunner opens fire on the bank, it’s revealed to fire beams of magic rather than bullets.(u/ADangDirtyBoi)
76. While travelling at night, the group stumbles upon a still burning campfire in the distance. When they arrive at the fire, there are a number of dots available for them, with one extra. If they stay at the fire for longer than an hour, a stranger approaches in a trench coat, the brim of his hat sat low. He greets the group in a friendly manner, before lifting his hat to reveal his glowing gold eyes.(u/ADangDirtyBoi)
77. While travelling, the group here’s a shout from somewhere nearby. Upon quick investigation, they realise that not too far away their is a tall, but scrawny half Orc with his head sticking out of a hole in the ground. He is surrounded by holes in the ground, and covered in dirt, and with a bandana wrapped around his face he makes for a strange sight. With an eccentric personality and speech, I’m he asks for help to find and dig up the treasure that he is sure is in the area (happy to split it 50/50 with the group). A quick glance at the map shows he is in the completely wrong spot, but someone in the party remembers a landmark on the map was only a few miles back.(u/ADangDirtyBoi)
78. At night in an abandoned and completely run down ghost town, lingering spirits wander around mournfully trying to perform the actions they would have in life. The spirits try to speak with and involve people on their activities, as if they were still alive, but they don’t act in a hostile manner unless provoked. In the base of the run down mansion, when searched through, there is a small jade idol with gold details, carved to look like a skull. If someone takes it, they hear echoing wails from outside as the ghosts become aggressive spectres.(u/ADangDirtyBoi)
79. A limping jackal approaches the campfire, bowing its head and acting in a frightened manner. If the group acts in a hostile way it flees, but if not it approaches the friendliest character and tries curl up next to them and rest. When everyone goes to sleep, whoever is on watch or guard for the night here’s something behind them, but when they turn they are overcome with drowsiness and fall asleep. In the meowing when they wake, wealth and magic items are missing with human tracks that turn in to jackal tracks leading from the camp sight.(u/ADangDirtyBoi)
80. Buzzards are circling in the distance, a body lying underneath. When the group approaches and a shoo the birds they find a parched and near death female water genasi, babbling about the “Hidden Oasis”.(u/ADangDirtyBoi)
81. A gnome with a large curled moustache and no hair sets up a small travelling store pulled by a short donkey. The store has the imagery of a snake in a bottle as it’s simple, and the gnome offers a range of specialised potions and tonics, all of which have a serpent theme. Though they seem to work at first, they all have a draw back.(u/ADangDirtyBoi)
82. A stranger wanders in to town keeping to herself, and taking a seat at the corner of the bar. After an adventure partakes in a gambling activity, she joins in shortly after , but still keeping to herself. After winning a few rounds, she asks the adventures if they’d like to make a bet for something “a bit more interesting”, staying deliberately ambiguous about what she offers. If they agree, her eye’s glow with a pale blue light and a smile breaks across her lips stretching to an unnaturally wide amount.(u/ADangDirtyBoi)
83. A centaur cowboy who's herding a large group of cattle. Although his cattle appear to have slightly demonic traits and are more aggressive than the average bovine. He's learned a little bit of wizardry and shocks them if they ever get bitey. Apparently the meat of demon cows is much better than regular meat. (u/Quantext609)
84. Late in the night, the party hears shouting and singing in Sylvan. Should they investigate, the find a group of pronghorn antelope themed satyrs. The satyrs are friendly and offer the PCs a smoke from an ornately carved pipe. If a PC accepts, they must make a DC 16 con save. On a success, they gain a glimpse into tomorrow’s events, gaining one use of the Divination wizards portent ability. On a failed save they are rendered incapacitated for 1d6 + 1 hours while they vividly hallucinate. (u/Ljmroper)
85. The pcs find a group of cactus dryads enjoying a pleasant view over the desert. If approached peacefully they offer a few cactus fruits that act like the spell good berry. (u/Ljmroper)
86. The players find a dried up skeleton of what seems to be a cow or bull. On closer inspection it’s a Minotaur. (u/Ljmroper)

At my most recent Problem Gambling Support Group meeting via Skype (the same one posted on here weekly) it was my turn to do a therapy session. This is my journey from starting gambling until now. I thought it would be worth sharing here as someone may get something from it. It is a bit of a long read.
My name is Mark and i’m a compulsive gambler. My last bet was April 2nd 2019. The day of April 2nd was a massive turning point in my life, it was the day I finally admitted to my long term partner, who is the mother of my two children, and to my parents that I was a compulsive gambler and needed help. The weekend prior was when I finally said to myself I’ve had enough, I had been betting for 14 years and it had beaten me so badly that I was a mess mentally and financially. Although no one knew that because I was an expert at hiding it.
I started gambling like almost anyone in the UK or Ireland, The Grand National. The one day of the year where it seems like every man, woman and child has a bet on. The biggest horse race in the world. That and those glorious holidays spent in Portrush playing the 2p machines (penny fall machines). I don’t for one second blame those experiences for my gambling problem, they are just my first memories of gambling. One really vivid memory I have of gambling was when I was begging my dad for the latest Official Playstation Magazine, the one with the demo disc, and he was just sitting down to watch England play against someone and said to me “if Paul Scholes scores the first goal I will get you the magazine.” Now, I know for a fact win or lose my Dad would have gotten me the magazine, he just said that so I would give him peace to watch the match. Well I remember watching the game with him hoping with all my might Paul Scholes would score 1st and he did. That adrenaline rush, even at a young age (I was 13 years old at most I would say) was unbelievable. Now, again, I am not blaming that for my gambling addiction at all, it is just one of my first vivid memories but that mentality of gambling to get something I want for free would be a regular pattern throughout my gambling career.
Once I turned 18 I opened my first betting account with Blue Sq and that started my online sports gambling journey. Friday nights were spent betting on Wolverhampton all weather horse racing and the Dutch and French 2nd Divisions. All harmless fun, controlled gambling, small stakes. I was still working part time at this stage, left school that summer and gambling was not in the way. Once I got my full time job though that all changed.
The first time I could put my finger on when my gambling changed was the first day of the 2008/2009 football season. I’d been working full time for about 3 years and my gambling was still under control, well, at least I thought it was. My stakes were still low and I was doing football bets at the weekend for a bit of fun. I gambled, but it wasn’t causing me any issues. That Friday I walked into a Paddy Power and decided instead of placing a load of stupid football bets for £1 or £2 I’d pick three teams for the season and do a £20 treble each week. Sheffield United, Leicester City and Leeds United were the picks. Of course, the first weekend it landed (the only time it landed all season I think) and my betting changed from that moment. I genuinely can’t remember the odds but I must have lifted over £100 from that £20 stake and after that staking £1 or £2 just wasn’t appealing. What was the point in that when I could stake £20 and win more. From that moment my gambling started to get out of control over time. Then came the loans, the credit cards and the payday loans.
At some point around this time I had opened a spread betting account due to a sign up offer. Now I did not have the first clue about spread betting but the offer was they gave you a free £100 or something to sign up so I did. I was still living at home at the time and we had one computer which everyone used. Well my Dad stumbled upon this website and was able to access the account (he’s not technically minded so I imagine I left it logged in) and he seen the betting history and he went mental at me. Now, I did explain that it was just bonus funds and I hadn’t actually deposited any of my own money but still the lecture came. It felt like a lecture at the time to me but he was just warning me of the dangers of gambling. Giving me examples of people he knew who had a problem and how easy it is for a gambling problem to begin. So I can never turn around and say that I wasn’t aware of the dangers, I was, my ego was just too big to listen. I paid lip service to the lecture and said I wouldn’t do it again and my Dad took me at my word and trusted me.
So, I knew early on I had a problem. I self excluded from places over the years but never really wanted to quit. I was getting in debt but was able to continue with my lifestyle as I was living at home. I remember one day going to a cheque cashing place where I could write a cheque for £100, dated on my next payday, and they’d give me £90 there and then. I did two cheques for going out that weekend (and a couple of bets on the Aintree Festival) walked straight to the bookies and had the £180 on Denman to win the Aintree Bowl at even money. Denman was a monster of a horse, a machine. He could not lose...then he suffered the first fall of his career. Back I went to the cheque cashing place for another £90 so I could still go out that weekend.
I wasn’t learning from my betting mistakes either as I was just borrowing more money to cover the cracks. I got a few debt consolidating loans over the early years to try and get a handle on my debt but it just gave me an excuse to take out more credit. The payday loans which I used to either gamble or cover my expenses for going out because I used all my money gambling. I would borrow money off my Dad and give him the puppy dog eyes when I paid it back and normally he’d only take half of what I owed him. He thought he was doing the right thing and he wanted me to have money to be able to go out with friends, I was just manipulating the situation.
I moved out and into my friends house for a year and the gambling continued, although I had less money to gamble with. My credit rating was taking a battering but I was young and didn’t really care. Then I met my current girlfriend in February 2010 and we moved in together that September. The gambling continued and was getting worse. I made the smart move to get a second job to supplement my gambling…...at a greyhound track. I’d be earning about £20 a night but gambling £60 or £80. Insanity. We had our first child in April 2012 and not long after she found out I’d be gambling some of the money we’d saved. It wasn’t a lot of money, but she was pissed (rightfully so). I managed to talk my way out of it and that was when I became really good at hiding things. She took control of the rent money and any money for our son so that was never in danger thankfully. We had our daughter in 2016 but the gambling still continued.
It may seem like I have glossed over an important period of time there but the truth is I can’t really remember any of the details. The only details I am able to recall with any great clarity are coming up but I just want to touch on a couple of things from this period. This was a time when I had the biggest wins of my gambling career, two separate occasions. One was an insane run of luck where I couldn’t lose all weekend and ended up with enough money for me, my partner and our Son to have our first and only foreign holiday. Another time I had a £5 free bet and landed a treble at Sandown, all Gary Moore horses and won £3.5k. That money went towards decorating the nursery for my soon to be born Daughter, my partner got money, my Mum and Dad and her Mum and Dad. I bought a PS4 and gambled the rest from memory. The two reasons these moments stick in my head isn’t just the amounts, it’s the only time I walked away in profit, at least for the sessions in question and the reason is that I told my partner I had won the money. That was the only way I knew I wouldn’t gamble it all away because she would ask questions if the money I promised didn’t materialise.
Another part of this time period I want to explore is how I was emotionally. I was 25 when we had our Son and he wasn’t planned. It was a shock to say the least and my life, as I knew it anyways, changed. No longer was I able to do what I wanted socially, I had a Son to provide for. I was working two jobs, money was tight, was I still gambling? Of course I was but slowly I started to strip everything else out of my life. We had our daughter when I was 29 and to be honest here, as much as it sadeness me I thought this way I resented having kids, especially at that age. I felt trapped at times, people I knew were able to do what they want but yet I had all this responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my kids during this time as well and they meant the world to me, but I do feel that I got into the thought process that I was trapped because of them and my only escape was into the world of online gambling.
I would go through phases where I’d stop altogether for months on end, a year at one point which I imagine was around the time my partner found out about me using the savings for gambling, but I’d always go back to it thinking I was in control but I never was. When gambling I’d deposit £10, lose it, deposit another £10, lose it, rinse and repeat until all my money was gone. If I won it just meant I could gamble longer. It was never about the money. I thought it was, but really the money was the fuel that could keep me gambling longer. Most months I was skint a few days after payday and couldn’t gamble until the next payday. It may not sound like a lot of money but it was a relentless cycle month after month after month.
At the end of 2016 I got an overdraft of £2k and gambled it all on soccer all around the world. Woke up and started gambling in Asia, moved across the globe into the Middle East, Africa, Europe and then fell asleep betting on South American football. It was out of control. Betting on Egyptian football on Xmas Day a particular lowlight. This was what my gambling looked like when I had money. All these bets were in-play as that’s how I gambled, watching a little graphic on Bet365 and thinking I could predict what was going to happen. I also gambled heavily on tennis as well, picking a player to win a set 6-0 was one of my favourites. Generally I would start with £10 as I mentioned and if the bet won I would keep “investing” all the money until it got to a certain amount, normally a couple of hundred quid. Once I got to that point I would raise my stakes significantly because I would tell myself it wasn’t my money. It wasn’t if I didn’t count all the loses it took to get to this point over the previous few days. I would then gamble that until it’s gone cursing myself for not taking the money when I had the chance. Placing the last of my money praying to a god I don’t believe in that if he could just make this bet land then I wouldn’t bet again. Once the money was done I would just sit there, looking at my bank balance, the lack of money, the direct debits due to come out in a few days, trying to figure out how I would survive the next 3-4 weeks until payday. Then I would dust myself off and start working on some budgets. What direct debits I could bounce, who I could ask to borrow money from or maybe what I could sell to fund another round of gambling to try and win my money back.
Coming into 2018 I was in a “good place” with gambling, or so I thought. I was Matched Betting which was a way of making money via bookmakers offers. It worked well for a few months but it all went to shit in the Summer of 2018. Matched Betting introduced me to the casino side of things and I lost £3.5k on roulette. I’ll not go into the ins and outs of how I had that sort of money, lets just say I didn’t and I found a way to deposit via direct debit on PayPal and of course those all bounced. Luckily Paddy Power rewarded me by making me a VIP customer after that, every cloud and all that. So I was chasing big style and getting free £50 bonuses each week from them but I could never get enough money to stop, because no amount was ever going to be enough. Their offers of Money Back if Horse X wins are normally £10 max refund, I was getting £100 max refund. Eventually I was running out of ways to get money and when I started to bet less with Paddy Power they removed my VIP status. I did win £1000 on an NFL bet and lost the lot on roulette the next week. Another lowlight.
The win on the NFL followed by the lose on roulette sticks in my mind because visually it summed up how miserable I was. I had promised my partner back at the start of the year that we would get the living room redecorated and I would pay with it from my Matched Betting and she was happy with that. Of course I explained it was risk free and nothing could go wrong and it wasn’t even gambling. Anyways, come November we are due to have our living room redecorated and of course I do not have the money for it so I have to go to my Mum and Dad. I give them some sob story about how when I was Matched Betting I made a mistake, layed off the wrong horse and lost my money so could then lend me it and don’t tell my partner. It was a complete lie and to be honest at the time I didn’t think they had bought it but they lent me the money. Turns out when I told them about my gambling problem back in April they had smelt bull shit but my Granda (on my Dad’s side) was ill in the hospital and he was stressed about that so he just let it slide. So the redecoration was on and it was going to take a couple of days. One Monday night I had a bet on the NFL and it landed, £10 at 100/1. Happy days, I can give my Mum and Dad back their money, it’s nearly Xmas, this is amazing luck. So on Tuesday night I sat in my half decorated living room and thought if I could just win a little bit more then things would be even better so loaded up the roulette. I lost it all sitting in the living room and during it I could literally see what the money would be paying for but it didn’t stop me, nothing would stop me.
2019 I could feel myself struggling. My life was consumed with gambling or working out how to get money to gamble and then how I was going to pay people back what I owed them. I was in a bad place, I was a bad person, lying, angry but still no one knew the truth. January had always been a tough month as I run several NFL Fantasy Football leagues for money and I am in charge of the money. Of course, that was always gambled away by me and January was the month people expected pay outs because the season was over. Usually I would have won enough money in my leagues to cover it or convince people to pay for next year with their winnings that I could cover it. This year I could not and I had the added pressure of owing people money. A lot of these people were friends of mine I knew personally, others were people I had gotten to know over a few years and only talked online. Either way I had stolen their money and gambled it away. I managed to use my Granda’s death in January as an excuse for why I had not paid people yet, I was in a bad way with the funeral etc, all the excuses, the truth is I was just trying to buy more time.
Then came the weekend prior to April 2nd. I had just been paid and deposited some money into my Bet365 account and managed to get my balance up to £910 on Friday 29th March. I should say by this stage I was fully gambling on tennis. Not match winner, that took too long, generally set winner or next game winner as that was quicker. Now this £910 would have cleared some of my urgent debts to allow me to continue on gambling. All I had to do was withdraw, and I was going to…...once I got it up to a nice round £1000. As you can guess I lost the lot. £300-£400 on Benoit Paire was one of the worst hits but I was gambling like a mad man. That was how I bet when I had winnings, the stakes got out of control. By the time I was leaving work at 6pm on the Friday the whole £910 was gone. I was betting on ATP, Challenger, ITF, any tennis that was on I was betting on it. Back in the day I remember betting on a tennis match where they had one ball. Still a story that brings a smile to my face if I’m honest. A smile that consists of a mixture of shame and cringe. That Friday night I deposited whatever I had left in and managed to win back a good chunk of the money, but it still wasn’t enough. It still wasn’t what I had before. So the whole weekend went like that, up and down, up and down. I went to a family dinner and sat betting on my phone the whole night. That’s how my life has been the last number of years, i’m present at gatherings, or nights out but my mind is deep in my phone gambling away not giving a shit about anyone.
Eventually the money ran out that weekend. I was a mess. I could have actually made it work financially and gotten through the month but mentally I was gone. I could tell my brain had put me into a nosedive and the only way this was all ending was in disaster. Maybe not this month, or this year but I was being flown towards rock bottom.
I sat down on the Monday and wrote out everything that I owed, who I owed it to, a budget going forward. It was grim enough reading, £18k in the hole. The money wasn’t the issue, it was how it was making me feel, the time I’ve been wasting. The fact that I finally couldn’t take anymore, that I was ready to wave the white flag and say gambling has won, it defeated me. I found out when and where the nearest GA Meeting was to me and wrote that down too. So I found a set of balls and on the Tuesday I told my girlfriend. My attitude was that life can’t be any worse for me than it currently is. I was a mess, I cried, I honestly expected her to tell me to get out and I wouldn’t have blamed her, but she was amazing. She was angry obviously, but she was so supportive. Then I called my parents round and told them. They were disappointed, confused but also really supportive. Then the next day I told my closest friends who were again all really supportive. I owe them some money too and they’ve been great about setting up a payment plan to pay that back. I can imagine some people saying that I didn’t hit rock bottom in comparison to others, I felt that way myself to be honest. I felt like I had gotten off lightly but looking back the cycle I was in was soul destroying and although I didn’t cause the devastation others have caused I knew I needed to reach out for help as I couldn’t do it on my own.
I registered for GAMStop and self excluded online for 5 years which has taken the avenue of online gambling away from me. A vital step if online is your vice. I also handed over control of my finances to my partner which again removed another temptation. I’ve since learned in recovery that gamblers need 3 things, time, opportunity and money, take away one of those and you won’t be able to gamble. I took away two with these simple steps.
I then went to my first GA Meeting on Wednesday 3rd April. The time doesn’t suit me for that, Monday at 9pm is my meeting but I felt I needed to get to one ASAP. I don’t know what I expected GA to be, some sort of church run cult filled with a bunch of old men desperate for a bet but it’s one of the most amazing groups I’ve ever found. It’s a dumping ground for all my shit and it’s a place where I can listen to other people’s stories. Without sounding sexist, it’s something a lot of men could do with outside of addiction, a place to talk about life and how they are feeling. I take a 50 mile round trip every Monday to get there. When I was gambling if I had to travel 50 miles to get internet to gamble you can guarantee I’d have travelled every day. When I leave a meeting I am buzzing, for all the right reasons. I’m a lifer when it comes to GA now and I am fine with that.
I am also a member of the Problem Gambling Support Group and we run three meetings a week via Skype. This group has been so influential to my recovery and I have met so many good people I now consider friends through it. The topic meeting style is completely different to what happens at my own GA so it fits into my recovery perfectly and gives me a different perspective.
I have a sponsor, who has had a massive impact on my recovery. He has helped me work the Steps and is always there if I need him. At times it’s hard to tell who is sponsoring who but that sort of dynamic works well for me as I see him as a friend first and sponsosponsee second.
I have also found a passion for writing about my journey and post my stuff on my blog, on GamCare and on the Reddit Problem Gambling Sub. I have been told my stuff is very good and people seem to get a lot from it. As I explained at a recent meeting I am still learning how to deal with praise, it makes me feel awkward. I’m not sure if it’s from years of not wanting to be the focus of people's attention because of the fear they might ask questions and my addiction would be exposed. Whatever the reason I am working on being able to accept praise and enjoy it and as I was told at the last meeting...a simple thank you is usually enough.
I’ve been clean for over 9 months now, and I have not struggled with urges to gamble. My life is amazing, it always was but I was too wrapped up in my addiction to notice. I literally had everything I could ever want. I have an amazing partner and two amazing children along with my parents who are absolutely fantastic. I have my health, a job and my friends are another support network I couldn’t do without now. They stood by me when I admitted my problem and they gave me the belief that I could do this.
Recovery is now my focus along with my family. The debt can be managed, stopping gambling is one day at a time, but the main focus of my recovery will be fixing my character defects, helping others, being open and honest to people and not being a selfish asshole. I would like to think those that know me now can at least drop the selfish part when describing me.
I have put plenty of work into my recovery and I feel like I am getting the benefits out of it. I have a routine when it comes to meetings and they don’t impact on my family life. Is every day amazing? No it’s not. Some days are rather boring and some days are tough, but that’s life. Some days you have to make chicken salad out of chicken shit. I have accepted what I am, I am a compulsive gambler and I need to be the one who changes. No one else around me needs to change, I am the common denominator. I have noticed a change in myself and those closest to me. They all seem happier, more content, happy to have this me in their life and not the old me. I wasn’t a nice partner, father, son or friend when I was in active addiction. I don’t want to be the person I was before I started gambling either because I am pretty convinced he was an asshole as well. I am using this recovery to become the man I want to be, the man I can look in the mirror and be proud to be.
As I said, I have accepted that I am a compulsive gambler and I cannot have a single bet because it will lead me back to active addiction. I have no issues with the gambling industry or people who gamble, I just know that I am unable to gamble as it ends in disaster. I feel there should be more discussion around problem gambling and the industry should be putting more money into helping problem gamblers and to help identify problem gamblers. It’s a fine line though, as I know if a bookie told me they felt I had a problem and wouldn’t accept a bet I’d have been angry and just went somewhere else. You need to be ready for recovery to fully embrace it. I never was until April 2nd. For the people in recovery we need to be ready to help those that get to the stage where they are ready for recovery. We are the ones who these people will come to rely on as we’ve been through it, you can tell when talking to someone who hasn’t had a gambling addiction they just don’t understand. Over the coming years I think there will be a significant rise in people looking for help with problem gambling. I don’t feel like my story is close to the worst out there and I have read and heard some people who have the opinion that you need to cause devastation before recovery will work. That’s bollocks and that sort of attitude is why GA is filled with old men and young people are reluctant to stay. I have come to believe it doesn’t matter how much you have lost, how many relationships you have destroyed or what age you are, all you need is a desire to stop gambling and that is the qualification for entering recovery.
For now though, for me, my next bet won’t be about the money I lose, I’ll lose my partner and my children as well and that’s not a bet that I am not willing to make.
Mark

That reminds me of a story.
Imagine you’re a molecule of water vapor, floating around high up in the clouds with trillions of your best friends. Life’s good: there’s the occasional bump and tussle. Whoa. Watch it, putting on some weight. Best get my vibrate on. Fucking cosmic waves. Wham! “Yeah? Up yours, buddy!” Hey, what the? “Well, double dumbass on YOU!” Is it getting chilly up here or is it just me? Oh, well. I just love to float around, up here where the air is cool and clear, way up above the ground... “WATCH IT, MAC! I’M DRIFTIN’ HERE!” Damn, it’s definitely getting colder. Feeling weird. Wait. What the ever-lovin’ fuck? I’m solid? What’s with the six arms? A Hexapus? Shit. Hey, why does the ground look like it’s getting closer? What is falling? Am I falling? Who the hell are all these other guys? I can hardly see the air’s so full of…Oh, fuck. I’m certain now, I’m falling. What’s that thing down there? Is it soft? Is it nice? I wonder if it will be my friend…
Plop.
Swish of snowbrush on the windshield. “Fucking snow. Damn, I hate winter in the Midwest,” an anonymous motorist declares to no one in particular.
It was that most wonderful time of year. Cold, wet, snowy but that never stands in the way of SCIENCE!
I call the quarry; they’re very interested and anxious to have me drop by for a chat. So, on a Saturday, I borrow Esme’s Nova and drive the 25 miles south to the quarry.
I am warmly greeted by the Quarry foreman Mr. Varovik and the soon-to-be-retired blasting boss Mr. Mesterlövész.
“Hello, Mr. Rock. We have your examination scores. You have passed. In fact, you scored very highly, which was surprising as you only attended 3 of the 6 classes.” Mr. Varovik clarified.
“Yes, sir”, I rejoined, “I’ve had quite a lot of previous training and thought my time would be best spent preparing for the practical aspects of the exam.”
Mr. Mesterlövész chimes in: “I like that. Enough with the books and on with the show! Oh, please, call me Andras, Mr. Rock; I’m afraid my last name could cause your strangulation.”
“Please, just call me Rock.” I reply, “I agree. My previous mentors were more practically oriented. There’s a time and place for everything, but with blasting, it’s best learned in the field by example.”
“We so agree, Rock.” Mr. Varovik adds, “We have more than enough work to attend to here that it would be best for you and Andras to hone your talents out in the quarry. We’re expecting great things, Mr. Rock, and I believe there’s no time like the present to begin. I see you already have the requisite PPEs, so after a bit of paperwork formalities, we’ll get you your security clearances, passes and permits to work.”
“Brilliant”, I agree, “I’d like to begin as soon as possible. I’ve got rather a full plate as it stands with my thesis and upcoming marriage, so I need to manage my time judiciously.”
After the blizzard of paperwork, Andras and I are out in the quiet quarry, standing next to a block of dolomitic limestone the approximate size and dimensions of a home refrigerator.
“Such a nice block for you to start on” Andras smiles, “Let’s see. Describe for me how you would handle this specimen.”
“First, I’d have to have a bit more information from the client. What are they looking for? Dimension stone? Facade? Gravel? Lunar dust simulation?” I reply.
“’Lunar dust’. Very good” Andras chuckles. “Good, you have a sense of humor and detail. Now, tell me what you see in this block of limestone.”
“Andras, I’m a geologist. You need to be a bit more specific or we’ll be here all afternoon.” I say.
“I have nowhere else to be…” Andras says slowly.
“OK”, I tell him, “Remember, you asked.”
“This is a sample of Silurian Niagara Dolomite, approximately 420 million years old. It is classified as a dolomitic carbonate, relatively pure, gray, vuggy, in reefs; and argillaceous, silty, brownish-gray and greenish-gray, cherty dolomite with beds of relatively pure dolomite between the reefs. It has a low dip angle off the Wisconsin Arch off into the Michigan Basin of about 3 degrees to the east-northeast. Shall I continue?” I asked.
“Oh, please do. You’re about to get to the interesting bits” Andras explained.
“OK. There are representative shallow marine reef and associated reef-adjacent facies present divided into fore reef, reef core and back reef. This block, due to its lack of visible porosity and overall massive character is probably from the quieter, muddier back reef facies. There are visible stylolites semi-horizontally within the block, but no vertical ones. The three σ directions appear undifferentiated. Therefore the principal stress directions are not delineated. There a few small vertical fractures, but these are probably extractive artifacts. How’s that?” I ask
Andras smiles, “Very good. I was wondering when you were going to get to the structural aspects of the block. Faults, fractures, joints, tension gashes, fissures…these are your friends. You must learn to let them work for you when you are harvesting in the quarry.”
“That’s an interesting way of defining the problem” I reply, “Think of the rock as an entity the result of many differing stress regimes and structural variables…”
“Or, just ask the rock and see what it will tell you…” Andras adds. “Get the big picture, first. Then, work your way down to the project at hand.”
“Sound advice. But I still need more information. What is it exactly you want from this block of limestone?” I ask.
“Let us begin easily. Please, how would you split the block in half?” Andras asks.
“Horizontally, vertically, or diagonally?” I reply.
“Ha. You are the first to ever consider splitting a block diagonally. Very good. Let’s keep it easy, how about horizontally?” Andras says.
“Well, we could drill and foss the block. But since we’re dealing with explosives, I’d go with Primacord.” I reply.
“Just Primacord?” Andras asks.
“Sure, given enough yardage, I’d say 5 or 6 full coils, it’d split right along that stylolite here.” As I point out the discontinuity in the sample.
“Hmmm” Andras considers. “Perhaps. Tell me some other ideas you might have.”
We spend the next half hour going over the pros and cons of various low and high explosives. Andras was most interested in my background with binaries and nitro. His specialty was plastique; that is, moldable plastic explosives.
He decides it was high time for me to start making little ones out of big ones. So I grab a spool of Primacord, some initiators and the handy electronic blasting machine.
“Quick, dirty and essentially moron-proof,” I tell Andras.
He has a good snicker and is impressed I finish my preliminaries in so short a time.
We retreat to a safe distance and go through the required pre-blast protocols. Clear all compass points, air horn tootles, the requisite ‘fire in the hole’ and we’re ready to go.
He tells me “Hit it” and mash goes the big red button.
The Primacord does its 25,000 foot per second rave and the block is neatly sheared into…
A bit more than what a bargained for. It split horizontally just fine, but it fell off, impacted the ground, and split into another couple of pieces.
“Maybe 6 coils were a bit much,” I said.
“Don’t worry.” Andras reassures me, “We’ve plenty of blocks for practice. Sometimes they do what they want, but you did split it well, just it had other ideas…”
Thus ended my first day of practicals for my unrestricted Master Blaster’s certification. We had a lot more ground to cover, metaphorically speaking, before Andras was comfortable retiring and leaving me to my own devices. So I did a little more research into the usual quarrying and mining pyrotechnics. Coupled with my already not insignificant practical experience, I was really looking forward to our next session.
I drove back to pick up Es as we had our weekly movie outing planned. We are both aficionados of Film Noir, unusual animation, and Russian Neo-Expressionism.
Today the Oriental, the ‘art house’ theater in town, was hosting a sneak preview of Ralph Bakshi’s Wizards, which we didn’t want to miss. I had to get to my dump of a duplex, shower, change, get Es, acquire some chow, and arrive at the theater before the massing throngs.
OK, so I was speeding a bit, but this Nova had the big 454 V-8, and I have a lead foot. Sorry, it’s congenital.
The road was clear, the winter sun was bright, but the blue and red flashing lights behind me were even brighter.
“Fuckbuckets!” I said to the headliner of the car, “Not now. I’m on a mission. Son of a Mothering Bitch!”
I pull over, put the car in neutral, engaged the emergency brake, cock the wheels so if it were to roll away, it’d first hit the curb, turned off the engine and rolled down my window some so I could converse with the nice officer.
I sat there with my hands in plain sight, at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel.
“Tap, tap, tap,” says the nightstick against the window.
“Officer”, I say loudly and clearly, “Before we begin, it is my duty to inform you I am carrying a sidearm. I am licensed and have the proper permits.”
“OK, bud. Hands where I can see them”, he brusquely replies.
“They’re already white-knuckling the steering wheel, you mouth-breathing idiot” I mused.
“They are, Officer,” I replied instead.
“Um, OK then. Um. Show me your hands.” He orders.
“They’re right here on the wheel, Officer. See?” as I raise them slightly and waggle my fingers.
“Oh, yeah. Well, roll down the window and no funny stuff.” He orders.
Damn, and I had my skit for the Comedy Club all ready. “OK,” as I comply.
“Yes, Officer?” I ask.
“Let’s see your sidearm.” He tells me.
“OK, but I have to reach over here to undo my seatbelt that I’m clearly wearing in order to comply” I note.
“OK, just do it slowly,” he tells me.
I undo my seatbelt, reach for my sidearm, dump the bullets, and spin the gun around to offer it butt-first to the nice policeman. Just like they told me in my concealed carry course.
I surrender my sidearm to the nice policeperson. He takes it and all hell breaks loose.
“Holy Fuck, Rock. What the hell is this thing? A fucking cannon?” he exclaims.
I look out the window and see someone I’ve known for the better part of 2 decades.
“Polack? You asshole. What’s the big idea?” I ask my longtime acquaintance.
“Ha, ha! You should have seen yourself. You were all red and white. What the fuck, Rock, what the hell is this damn thing?” as he sights in an imaginary target down the empty road.
I get out of the car and just shake my head, grimacing.
“Baja Canada’s Finest, ‘eh? It’s a .454 Cusall Magnum. Shooting it just right kills and field dresses your game.” I tell him.
“Damn. I have got to borrow this. Can you loan it to me for a while?” He asks.
“Not as such. Why?” I ask.
“Oh, Captain Pizelli is always going on about his great, big .44 Magnum down at the range. It’s a noisy fucker, but I bet this will shut him up at our monthly target competition.” He says.
“Look, Polack. Let me know when the next one is and I’ll personally deliver this to you with some custom hot loads. But right now, I’m in kind of a hurry so if we could just get back to the matter at hand, I’ll be off.” I reply.
“Oh, yeah. That. You were doing 61 in a 55, so I need to write you a ticket.” He says.
“OK, you got me. But you ain’t got no noisemaker for your next cop party…” I say extortingly.
“OK, then. Well, consider this an official warning. And our next target competition is the 28th.” He smiles.
“Where you going in such a damn rush?” he asks as he hands me back my sidearm.
I explain what I’m up to and he smirks a bit.
“Well, I’m headed back toward the east side. Now, if you were to be following me, I couldn’t very well ticket you for speeding, now could I?” he smiles.
Got to hand to Es’s old Nova. She kept up with Polack until we hit triple digits. At that point, I figured police escort or not, rolling or crashing Es’s car would probably be frowned upon by several distinct lineages of people.
After a delightful dinner at Suburpia, a Miles Standish and a Real Beefer, we make it to the theater that evening with time to spare.
The winter holidays were over and the so-called spring semester had started. I had long-term sedimentological experiments working in the sub-sub-basement of the museum, I was writing up my results for my thesis, I was also still waiting on my slide-converted photos from New Mexico. I was still going to the lakeside labs for general and sundry, I hadn’t yet made any decisions on where I was going career- or college-wise, I was teaching an additional 3 classes in the Geology department. Plus I was still slated to be wed come the summertime.
When I had the time, I ate quickly and slept furtively. As well as take Es out for the occasional movie and dinner date night.
So when Dr. Davey approached me with an opportunity to do some more ice diving for the Geophysics department, you could understand my cool enthusiasm.
After I managed to negotiate the initial offer of $100 per dive up to $250, its great having a monopoly sometimes, I had to find time in my schedule for another check out dive. I also had to go over every piece of my diving kit as ice diving, like all diving, doesn’t suffer fools lightly.
Esme would be really pissed at me if I died due to hypothermia some fine winter’s day.
However, before all that, I had to teach a new course, one that I’ve not before been called upon before to proctor. It’s Geology 102, basically one step up from Geology 101 or “Rocks for Jocks”. I have to cover the entire spectrum of lithologies; sedimentary, igneous and metamorphic as well as the rock cycle, mineralogy and other such fun lithological niceties.
Enter Tim, my artist buddy from the world of movie special effects. As a gag gift, he sent me a ‘box of rocks’. These were amazingly accurate recreations of classic rock types that were used in movies. They were hand sample-sized, foam rubber, and ridiculously correct in every detail, save one.
They barely weighed 10 grams each.
So, every day before my lectures, I’d set out all eight faux-rocks and ignore them. This went on for a few weeks until one inquisitive neo-geo asked why I was setting up a display of rocks before each lab and lecture, but never even mentioning them.
“These rocks?” As I pointed to the foam samples.
“Yes.” He replied.
“What about them?” I asked.
“Why are they there? You never as much as pick them up or talk about them but they’re always just there for every class.” He continues.
“Ah, I see. You’re curious about these rocks then? “I ask.
“Yes!”
“These rocks here?”
“YES!”
“OK, catch!” as I wind up and hurl a piece of fake diabase at his skull.
Very little, save for the discourse on their origin, was done that day in class.
Tim made a nice bit of skittle and beer money filling the orders I sent him over the years for his amazingly realistic bogus hand samples.
Later, I’m in the prow of an only just seaworthy Zodiac inflatable working its way out of the harbor, through the pack ice floes out to the permanent pack beyond the offshore breakwater.
Winter was particularly nasty that year and the ice extended from great compression pile-up teepee structures on the beach clear out to the breakwater, some 300 meters off the beachfront, and beyond.
There was a considerable amount of damage being done to beaches from the ice pushing in landward. As well as it playing hod with all manmade structures left out to weather the winter storms, like the one we were battling out to the ice front.
I was already wearing all my ice diving gear as changing either en route or once we reach the ice would have been impossible, not to mention ridiculous. As such, I was relatively immobile on the front of the boat as the beleaguered 150 horse Johnson Seahorse struggled against the 30 knot east headwind, ice floes, and ice-choked waves.
As I was on the leading edge of all this nonsense, I received the spray from every breaking wave which froze almost instantly. I was rapidly becoming encased in ice.
“Take it easy, you wobbly Scottish git!” I holler over the radio, as there was no way other which we could converse.
“I can’t” yelled back Iain, the Scots driver of the boat and full-time fish annoyer. “I’m givin’ her all she’s got…it’s the only way to push against the wind…if I give’r any more, she’ll blow”.
“Well, I’m going to have to use one of these seismic charges to pry myself apart from the boat then. I’m getting frozen in up here.” I yell back.
There had been some improvements over the years on ice dynamics and ice geophysics.
Now instead of dragging all the acquisition and recording equipment out to the ice with us, we only had to set up a small radio relay on the boat. The charges were set to be detonated remotely and all the data recorded after I plant the jugs was relayed back to shore. It made it somewhat easier logistically, but a real pain in the ass in reality as now we could only take the lab’s Zodiac instead of the Grady White cabin cruiser.
The ichthyologic bunch commandeered that craft for a bothersome fishy census.
That’s why I was sitting in the front of a wonky inflatable, being slowly encased in ice, wondering if I should have held out for $300 per trip.
We make the edge of the ice and Iain runs the Zodiac up on the floe. Casimir, the lab’s electronics guru, an obligate landlubber, was exhibiting a shade of green not normally seen in nature.
“Nice move, Captain Ahab” I yell, “Now how the hell can I get in the water?”
“I did that on purpose. Toss the anchor out on the ice floe, Cas’ll chuck the stern anchor out, and we can park next to the ice.” Iain explains.
OK, makes sense, somewhat. Next time tell me before you run us aground.
It took a fair exertion of moose muscle to break the ice off, grab the anchor, and chuck it out onto the ice. Casimir did the same, and both anchors took hold. Iain backed us into a standard parking orbit juxtaposed to the leading edge of the ice sheet.
After Iain and Cas help me break free of my icy embrace, we get rigged up for setting and recording the charges. I tell Iain that I’m going over the side to get rid of the rest of my ice pack, as the lake water was actually warmer than the air. Cas would set up the antenna for the radio link back to shore.
I don my three-tank backpack, no small challenge, and go clumsily over the side. Good for losing any encrusted ice but not so good as the boat is bucking and jumping like a green foal in its first springtime.
Iain inflates the blaze-orange 2-meter diameter float to which all the recording devices will be tethered. The float is also anchored to the bottom to keep it more or less in place.
Shear wave marine geophones are bloody expensive and I don’t wish to have to replace any. Cas tosses me one line of jugs (geophones) as I make certain my running line is tethered to the boat. Under I go and make my first of five dives under the ice.
I plant the geophones on the underside of the ice in as straight of a line as I can manage. It’s difficult as the wind and the waves are making the ice undulate. Up and down. Push up to plant a jug and the ice heaves up, most annoying. After a while, I find a rhythm and just hold the spike of the jugs against the ice and wait for it to drive itself home.
Jugs are planted, tethered to the orange float, back to Cas and his electronic gizmos.
We’re getting ready for planting the explosive charges. I check my dive-o-matic and see I’m on less than fumes. I call to Iain and explain I need to switch tanks before I attempt setting the charges, with no re-boarding the boat. It’s bucking a jig and the last thing I want to do is try to scamper aboard with all that electronic shit laying all over the deck with the wind and the ice.
Iain passes me a free-tether and I clip my tanks and backpack for him to drag on board.
That means I’ll be floating loose for a while, but I think I can handle this. He gets my empties on board, swaps out for a new set, and has them back to me in mere minutes. I was back tanked-up and ready to go set charges in less than 10 shakes.
Iain hands me the first string of charges, and back I go, under the ice. I run the charges perpendicular to the lines of jugs I had set previously. This was for ‘best data collection’ or so we were told. It was becoming more of a bother as I noticed the ice jumping and bucking harder than when I set out the jugs.
I was in the water now for over an hour and even with a pair of thermals under a union suit under a wet suit under a dry suit, I was feeling the cold. True, I have this abnormal resistance to cold, being an ethanol-fueled carbon-based organism, but I could not deny physiology. I had another 30 minutes maximum before things could start to get hairy.
Iain hands me the last of the charges and I note the boat is now rising and falling far more than it was when we got here. I couldn’t tell, other than by the ice was bucking, that the weather had shifted. It had, quickly and dramatically.
The wind shifted from easterly to due north, and ramped up to 50 knots, as we found out later. We should have probably hauled ass at that point, but I didn’t say anything, as I didn’t know of the surface events. Iain and Cas said nothing because I didn’t say anything and if I didn’t think things were rapidly degrading…
I set the last of the charges and washed over to the boat. I tethered myself to the prow railing, which I found was an instant mistake. One moment, the boat and I were level in the water, the next I was near 2 meters out of the water as the boat rode the next wave crest.
This was an unacceptable situation as I was being slapped around like a tournament volleyball.
I pop the quick release and plop gracelessly back into the water.
“Iain. Cas. Come in. We’ve got a problem.” I called.
“Rock. What’s the worry? I was just about to have Cas send the ‘Go’ codes.” Iain replied.
“I can’t get back in the boat. When did the weather go this sour?” I asked.
“About 20 or so minutes ago. You didn’t say anything, so I thought we were OK” Iain replied.
“How the fuck can I monitor the weather under an ice floe? Belay that, we’ve got to sort this out, now.” I note.
“How’s your air?” Iain asks.
“Good for 30 or so, more if I stay topside,” I reply.
“OK, it’s getting nasty up here. Want to call it?” Iain asks.
“Let me think a minute. I don’t want to lose all this effort just because it got windy.” I replied.
It immediately begins to sleet heavily.
“Fuckbuckets” I muse.
“Have Cas call the Barn. See what Davey has to say,” I suggest.
“On it. Stay put.” He adds.
“Where the fuck do you think I’m going to go?” I wonder.
The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound, as a wave broke over the railing. Even I knew, as Cas and Iain did too, t'was the witch of February come stealin'.
“Rock, Davey says to get back. Let’s reel everything in…” Iain reports.
“Iain, we’re almost done here. Tell you what, can you handle the boat this close to the ice and over to the breakwater?” I ask.
“Yeah, we can handle that.” He replies. “Cas is even greener, but that’s normal.”
“OK, I’m going to unhook, head over to the breakwater, and hang on there. You finish the shoot, have Cas rig down the antenna and electronics. We’ll leave the float out here; it’s tethered to the bottom, it won’t go anywhere. Then come pick me up. Back to the Barn for whiskey and hors d'oeuvres. Easy-peasy.”
“You sure? It’s at least 200-250 meters to the breakwater. It’s blowin’ a full gale now…” Iain notes.
“Yeah, I’ll inflate my Mae West if I get in trouble. Besides, I’ll just surf over on a hunk of ice. It’ll be a walk in the park.” I reply, already thinking this was a stupid idea, but necessary.
“Well, get your ass over there. I won’t have Cas send the ‘Go’ codes until you’re out of range.” Iain tells me.
“Roger that. See you in a few.” I reply, unclip from the boat, and head over toward the breakwater.
I swim casually, no hurry. The lake could have taken me at any point but hasn’t, so I figured this was just another little inconvenience. I dog paddle onwards against the storm and actually do find a hunk of loose ice to bodysurf over to the breakwater. My damn mask keeps icing up from the spray, so I have to make like a submarine now and again.
It’s not a pleasant task. I doubt this will become a new national obsession.
Does anyone know where the love of God goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours?
200 meters took me more than 30 minutes. There is an iron ladder down to the water line on the breakwater. I was most pleased to clip a carabiner onto that and send Iain my situation report.
Minutes later, I could actually feel the concussion of the small seismic charges as they went off in their data-mining dance. Fifteen or so minutes later, I see an ice-encrusted Zodiac slowly making its way over to me.
Iain pulls up to the breakwater and has me hand Cas my tanks and backpack. I was out of air and I didn’t need the extra bulk as I was going to try and re-board this bucking bronco.
Iain was worried he’d get slammed against the rough concrete of the breakwater so he told me to clip onto the bow of the boat. He’d back off to clear water and Cas would help drag my weary ass on board.
Great plan, except it didn’t work worth a damn.
The waves, wind, and weariness sapped us all.
“Rock, you secure up front?” Iain asked.
“Yeah, I’m still half in the water, but I can’t make it any further. I’m clipped to the bowline cleat. I can’t go back to the transom of the boat, it’s too rough. Plus there’s that spinney propeller thing back there…” I replied.
“OK, hang on. I’m going to motor us slowly into the harbor. Just hang tight. You’re protected in your gear and lashed securely.” Iain replied as he inched the engine forward. “Cas will keep an eye on you…”
“Oh. Good-o.” I muse.
The harbor and relatively calmer water was still 250 meters out. It was the longest 250 meter trip of my life. I was thoroughly encased in ice by the time we made it back to the comparative calmness of the harbor.
Once we’re in moderately passive water between the two harbor piers, Cas tries, unsuccessfully, to drag me on board. No dice, I’m covered in ice. We’re a bit more protected here, but still could be thrown up against the rough concrete of either pier as the water was still acting all angry-like.
“Rock, there’s nothing we can do. Hold on and I’ll take us back to the Barn. I’ll call ahead and have’m open the boat-slip garage so we can drive right in and they can dry dock us.” Iain tells me.
I’m too tired to argue.
And that’s how I became a frozen Zodiac figurehead that cold, blustery winter’s day.
Once in dry dock, they broke out the steam guns and carved me off the bow of the boat.
I was tired, a bit chilly, bruised but otherwise undamaged.
Dr. Davey storms into the locker room after Iain, Casimir, and I had restored ourselves to near normal operating temperature and reads us the riot act.
“What the hell were you guys thinking? You could have died out there. Do you have any idea how that would look on my permanent record?” he howled.
“Doc” I said, “We survived, your hardware survived, and you got some data the likes of which can never be repeated. What’s now going to happen is that our price just went to $400 per dive. Plus, you’re taking us over to McClusky’s and buying us several rounds of warming drinks.”
Over drinks, I tell Dr. Davey, “As I said, it’s great to have a monopoly. Prosit!”
Esme was not exactly thrilled later when I recount my latest adventure. She didn’t forbid any more ice diving but strongly suggested it would probably not be in my best interest.
Amazing how persuasive some people can be at times.
There were no further dives that winter, but spring was another story. Forming ice is bad enough, wasting ice is considerably nastier. I found a chap over at the local dive center who was glad to take my place now the weather calmed a bit. It wasn’t my first choice as I could have used the extra money, but as I said, certain people can become very persuasive.
Back at the quarry, Andras and I have been progressing through the standard inventory of common quarrying explosives. Andras had spent quite some time adding to my education on formable explosives, how shaping moldable pyrotechnics could accomplish the most amazing feats.
He was old school to a high degree.
If it called for quick and dirty, it was dump the ANFO in the shot holes, prime and blast away. But when I mentioned that the reef needed to be exposed but gently, he could be most discerning. He was a true master of the art, and I learned much from his instructions.
One oddity, it that he avoided nitroglycerine at all costs. He didn’t care for its twitchiness and penchant for going off whenever it felt the mood. I told him I was quite familiar with nitro.
“OK, Rock. How about a demonstration?” Andras asked.
Into the blasting bunker we went.
I told him that there was this rather energetic mixture I’ve developed over the years and it was nitro based. Would he like to see how I created that?
“Absolutely.” Andras replied, “But only if it’s safe.”
“Of course”, I said, “I’ve taken precautions.”
The nitro was stored in Nalgene plastic carboys and I had relocated it into the lab refrigerator. It wasn’t cold enough to freeze, but cooling the stuff calmed its temper significantly. I set out the other adjuncts to my recipe and began creating.
“Let’s see…15 drops of [essence of terror], 5 drops of [sinister sauce], and just a tincture of [trinitrotoluene]. There, now let it set up in the fridge for a while and it’ll be tamer than a pussycat. For a while” I note.
There was a 1.5-meter cube block of jagged limestone that’s just been annoying me since I began this little exercise. I asked Andras if it could be our test subject.
“Ah, yah. It’s been slated to go for over a month, but they never got to it. Let’s try your potion there.” Andras agrees.
“I’ll probably kill it,” I said.
“Dead, I hope.” Andras adds.
After taking a gad pry bar and sledgehammer to the errant block, I’ve got enough cracks, fractures, and fissures to ensure its demise. I retrieve my concoction from the fridge and gloopily pour it into the interconnected network of fractures. I let it seep in deep before I run a little bit of Primacord as an initiator and set everything with a fuse and blasting cap.
Andras smiled broadly when he pulled the cap off the fuse actuator and we briskly walk away from our latest experiment; after the prerequisite clears and fires in the holes, of course.
We were in the blasting shack watching the pre-detonator smoke curl up into the calm spring breeze.
There was a ground-rumbling FAAGAROON and what was previously a block of tough dolomitic limestone was now a pile of dolomitic limestone gravel.
Andras decided that I knew what I was doing. There was a retirement blowout for Andras later that month. I was now the de facto Master Blaster for a Midwestern limestone quarry; and finally had the paperwork to attest to that fact.
Time marched on and I still hadn’t made any decisions. Continue my education? Go private sector? Take up Javen Spanner’s offer?
What to do? What to do?
I finished my thesis and submitted it for review. If it was passed, a date would be set for my thesis defense before a panel of chosen professors. This group would include my primary thesis advisor, Dr. Jak, a couple more in my general field; that is soft rock stratigraphy, sedimentology, depositional environments, and paleontology.
After one round of revisions, my thesis was accepted and the date for my defense was set.
The university also announced my defense committee:
• Dr. Jak, the vertebrate paleontologist and advisor, of course.
• Dr. Nebolshoy, our 6’ 8” tall micropaleontologist. No problem here.
• Dr. Bhūkampa, the geophysicist. He might be a bit of trouble.
• Dr. Hensei, the metamorphic petrologist. He shouldn’t be much of a problem.
• Dr. Deponejo, the sedimentologist. Easy-peasy.
• And Dr. Vesistö, emeritus professor of hydrology. Shouldn’t be too bad.
So classes were nearing finals, my thesis was submitted and accepted, defense time and committee set, all my experiments run and documented. I actually had a spare second or two for reflection and consideration.
After a late-night showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Esme and I were sitting in the local George Webb having either a very late dinner or an early breakfast. It was cheap, it was good, and it was the only place open at 0300 in the morning.
“Rock, have you made any decisions yet on what you’re going to do after next Friday?” Es asks.
“Yep. I’m going to get drunk for a week, sober up, get back in shape and get drunk for a month again” I replied.
“No, seriously. You’re almost done with your degree and the wedding’s planned for early the next month. Then what?” Es inquires.
“A long and not terribly restful honeymoon,” I leer. “I hope.”
“Can you be serious?” Es sighs.
“I am being serious.” I reply.
“OK, let’s do this the scientific way. What are you not going to do after our honeymoon?” Es continues.
“Stop drinking and smoking cigars?” I reply.
“That’s a given. No, come on. Time to pull your finger out. What do you really want to do?” Esme bats her big brown eyes and suddenly, reality crashes the party.
“OK. I’m not going to accept Javen’s offer. I’m not going to shill for any explosives manufacturer. I’m not going to go to the UK…” I finally say.
“So…then it’s…” Es continues.
“Yeah. I’m thinking of going for my doctorate at the state school campus in the capital city. Full ride, good with grants, stellar facilities, my own lab, globally known professors and, well, I’ve already been accepted. Plus, your company has a branch there. I was hoping you might see if you could transfer there. I haven’t accepted yet, I was waiting for the proper moment to tell you.” I said.
“Over industrial coffee, bratwurst, and eggs at three in the morning?” Es exclaims.
“Yeah. You knew I was eccentric from the onset. What do you think? Do I accept or continue to put them off?” I ask.
“You accept the first thing in the morning. That is after we get some sleep. Rock, I’m so proud of you and proud to be the future Mrs. Dr. Rock.” Es gushes.
I formally accepted my endowed tenure-track doctoral position in global stratigraphy and sedimentology two days later.
Well, we had to get some sleep, after all.
To be continued

My Story
My name is Mark and i’m a compulsive gambler. My last bet was April 2nd 2019. The day of April 2nd was a massive turning point in my life, it was the day I finally admitted to my long term girlfriend, who is the mother of my two children, and to my parents that I was a compulsive gambler and needed help. The weekend prior was when I finally said to myself I’ve had enough, I had been betting for 14 years and it had beaten me so badly that I was a mess mentally and financially. Although no one knew that because I was an expert at hiding it.
I started gambling like almost anyone in the UK or Ireland, The Grand National. The one day of the year where it seems like every man, woman and child has a bet on. The biggest horse race in the world. That and those glorious holidays spent in Portrush playing the 2p machines. I don’t for one second blame those experiences for my gambling problem, they are just my first memories of gambling.Once I turned 18 I opened an account with Blue Sq and that started my online sports gambling journey. Friday nights were spent betting on Wolverhampton all weather horse racing and the Dutch and French 2nd Divisions. All harmless fun, controlled gambling, small stakes. I was still working part time at this stage, left school that summer and gambling was not in the way. Once I got my full time job though that all changed.
The first time I could put my finger on when my gambling changed was the first day of the 2008/2009 football season. I’d been working full time for about 3 years and my gambling was still under control. I gambled, but it wasn’t causing me any issues. That Friday I walked into a Paddy Power and decided instead of placing a load of stupid football bets for £1 or £2 I’d pick three teams for the season and do a £20 treble each week. Sheffield United, Leicester City and Leeds United were the picks. Of course, the first weekend it landed (the only time it landed all season I think) and my betting changed from that moment. I genuinely can’t remember the odds but I must have lifted over £100 from that £20 stake and after that staking £1 or £2 just wasn’t appealing. What was the point in that when I could stake £20 and win more. From that moment my gambling started to get out of control over time. Then came the loans, the credit cards, the payday loans.
I knew early on I had a problem. I self excluded from places over the years but never really wanted to quit. I was getting in debt but was able to continue with my lifestyle as I was living at home. I remember one day going to a cheque cashing place where I could write a cheque for £100, dated on my next payday, and they’d give me £90 there and then. I did two cheques for going out that weekend (and a couple of bets on the Aintree Festival) walked straight to the bookies and had the £180 on Denman to win the Aintree Bowl at even money. He suffered the first fall of his career. Back I went to the cheque cashing place for another £90.
I moved out and into my friends house for a year and the gambling continued, although I had less money to gamble with. My credit rating was taking a battering but I was young and didn’t really care. Then I met my current girlfriend in the February and we moved in together that September. The gambling continued and was getting worse. I made the smart move to get a second job to supplement my gambling…...at a greyhound track. I’d be earning about £20 a night but gambling £60 or £80. Insanity. We had our first child in April 2012 and not long after she found out I’d be gambling some of the money we’d saved. It wasn’t a lot of money, but she was pissed (rightfully so). I managed to talk my way out of it and that was when I became really good at hiding things. She took control of the rent money and any money for our son so that was never in danger thankfully. We had our daughter in 2016 but the gambling still continued.
I would go through phases where I’d stop altogether for months on end, a year at one point, but I’d always go back to it thinking I was in control but I never was. When gambling I’d deposit £10, lose it, deposit another £10, lose it, rinse and repeat until all my money was gone. If I won it just meant I could gamble longer. It was never about the money. I thought it was, but really the money was the fuel that could keep me gambling longer. Most months I was skint a few days after payday and couldn’t gamble until the next payday.At the end of 2016 I got an overdraft of £2k and gambled it all on soccer all around the world. Woke up and started gambling in Asia, moved across the globe into the Middle East, Africa, Europe and then fell asleep betting on South American football. It was out of control. Betting on Egyptian football on Xmas Day a particular lowlight.
Coming into 2018 I was in a “good place” with gambling, or so I thought. I was Matched Betting which was a way of making money via bookmakers offers. It worked well for a few months but it all went to shit in the Summer of 2018. Matched Betting introduced me to the casino side of things and I lost £3.5k on roulette. I’ll not go into the ins and outs of how I had that sort of money, lets just say I didn’t and I found a way to deposit via direct debit and of course those all bounced. Luckily Paddy Power rewarded me by making me a VIP customer after that. So I was chasing big style and getting free £50 bonuses each week from them but I could never get enough money to stop, because no amount was ever going to be enough. Their offers of Money Back if Horse X wins are normally £10 max refund, I was getting £100 max refund. Eventually I was running out of ways to get money and when I started to bet less with Paddy Power they removed my VIP status. I did win £1000 on an NFL bet and lost the lot on roulette the next week. Another lowlight.
2019 I could feel myself struggling. My life was consumed with gambling or working out how to get money to gamble and then how I was going to pay people back what I owed them. I was in a bad place, I was a bad person, lying, angry, grumpy but still no one knew the truth.
Then came the weekend prior to April 2nd. I had just been paid and deposited some money into my Bet365 account and managed to get my balance up to £910 on the Friday 29th March. I should say by this stage I was fully gambling on tennis. Not match winner, that took too long, generally set winner or next game winner as that was quicker. Now this £910 would have cleared some of my urgent debts to allow me to continue on gambling. All I had to do was withdraw, and I was going to…...once I got it up to a nice round £1000. As you can guess I lost the lot. £300-£400 on Benoit Paire was one of the worst hits but I was gambling like a mad man. That was how I bet when I had winnings, the stakes got out of control. By the time I was leaving work at 6pm on the Friday the whole £910 was gone. I was betting on ATP, Challenger, ITF, any tennis that was on I was betting on it. Back in the day I remember betting on a tennis match where they had one ball. Still a story that brings a smile to my face if I’m honest. That Friday night I deposited whatever I had left in and managed to win back a good chunk of the money, but it still wasn’t enough. It still wasn’t what I had before. So the whole weekend went like that, up and down, up and down. I went to a family dinner and sat betting on my phone the whole night. That’s how my life has been the last number of years, i’m present at gatherings, or nights out but my mind is deep in my phone gambling away not giving a shit about anyone.
Eventually the money ran out that weekend. I was a mess. I could have actually made it work financially and gotten through the month but mentally I was gone. I could tell my brain had put me into a nosedive and the only way this was all ending was in disaster. Maybe not this month, or this year but I was been flown towards rock bottom.
I sat down on the Monday and wrote out everything that I owed, who I owed it to, a budget going forward. It was grim enough reading, £18k in the hole. The money wasn’t the issue, it was how it was making me feel, the time i’ve been wasting. I found out when and where the nearest GA Meeting was to me and wrote that down too. So I found a set of balls and on the Tuesday I told my girlfriend. My attitude was that life can’t be any worse for me than it currently is. I was a mess, I cried, I honestly expected her to tell me to get out and I wouldn’t have blamed her, but she was amazing. She was angry obviously, but she was so supportive. Then I called my parents round and told them. They were disappointed, confused but also really supportive. Then the next day I told my closest friends who were again all really supportive. I owe them some money too and they’ve been great about setting up a payment plan to pay that back.
I registered for GAMStop and self excluded online for 5 years which has taken the avenue of online gambling away from me. A vital step if online is your vice.
I then went to my first GA Meeting on Wednesday 3rd April. The time doesn’t suit me for that, Monday at 9pm is my meeting but I felt I needed to get to one ASAP. I don’t know what I expected GA to be but it’s one of the most amazing groups I’ve ever found. It’s a dumping ground for all my shit and it’s a place where I can listen to other people’s stories. Without sounded sexist, it’s something a lot of men could do with outside of addiction, a place to talk about life and how they are feeling. I take a 50 mile round trip every Monday to get there. When I was gambling if I had to travel 50 miles to get internet to gamble you can guarantee I’d have travelled every day. When I leave a meeting i’m buzzing, for all the right reasons. I’m a lifer when it comes to GA now and i’m fine with that.
I’ve been clean for 3 weeks now, and i’ve had no urges to gamble. My life is amazing, it always was but I was too wrapped up in my addiction to notice. I have an amazing girlfriend and two amazing children along with my parents who are absolutely fantastic. My friends are another support network I couldn’t do without now.
I’m also a member of this sub (clearly) and they run a weekly meeting via Skype every Wednesday which is becoming part of my weekly routine (they are also adding an additional one on a Tuesday).
Recovery is now my focus along with my family. The debt can be managed, stopping gambling is one day at a time, but the main focus of my recovery will be fixing my character defects, helping others, being open and honest to people and not being a selfish asshole.
I have no issues with the gambling industry or people who gamble, I just know that I am unable to gamble as it ends in disaster. I feel there should be more discussion around problem gambling and the industry should be putting more money into helping problem gamblers and to help identify problem gamblers. It’s a fine line though, as I know if a bookie told me they felt I had a problem and wouldn’t accept a bet I’d have been angry and just went somewhere else. You need to be ready for recovery to fully embrace it. I never was until April 2nd. For the people in recovery we need to be ready to help those that get to the stage where they are ready for recovery. We are the ones who these people will come to rely on as we’ve been through it, you can tell when talking to someone who hasn’t had a gambling addiction they just don’t understand. Over the coming years I think there will be a significant rise in people looking for help with problem gambling.
For now though, for me, my next bet won’t be about the money I lose, I’ll lose my girlfriend and children as well and that’s not a bet that’s worth making.
Mark

Dear Warhorse, Here are 3 Small Changes that would enormously improve my experience trying to submerge myself in 1400's Bohemia.

1. Let me clean my sword.

In a game that aims for, and largely succeeds at, authenticity, having to use a grindstone to remove blood from your sword is, let's face it, nonsensical. Like, can a brother get a rag over here? No medieval swordsman is going to put a bloody sword back in his scabbard then hightail it to the nearest blacksmith to get gore all over the poor blokes equipment. Not to mention due to the awkward grindstone mini game, you usually end up buggering your sword up in the process.
Neither does paying a swordsmith to get the icky stuff off seem like a particularly realistic option. I mean, aren't I the son of a blacksmith? You'd think i'd have some inkling of how to care for swords.
 
Get that on the grindstone lad
 
Simple Solution: Allow the blacksmiths kit to remove blood. The description says it contains "oil" already, just add "and a cloth" to the end of that. Jobs a good 'un.
 

2. Tell the peasants what a knight looks like.

Put on a bit of shitty chainmail and suddenly every yokel and shopkeeper is saying "I hope I can be of some humble service to you knight". I love the mechanic of people's reactions to you changing depending on what you're wearing, but I think the threshold for the "knight" dialogue needs to be set a lot higher.
If I rock up in a full suit of Milanese Plate with the sun shining out of my arse then go wild, prostrate yourselves infront of me you filthy peasants. My Henry, however, has always kept it pretty real; dirty jerkin over a hauberk, common boots and gloves, brown hood, maybe a brigantine when I can afford. Just about every town guard has better looking gear than me.
Every time someone addresses my filthy bandit-looking Henry as "knight" I get all Sandor Clegane.
 
I'm no knight
 
Though I will admit it occasionally leads to gems like when I recovered Pie from that charcoal burner:

"I hope I can be of some service to you Knight" "I'm sorry but you can't have that horse" "Fuck Off!" 

 
Simple Solution: Adjust the triggers for those dialogue intros so for people to treat you like a knight, you need to actually look the part, like at least a bit of plate or something.
Make it mean something when they do.
 
And finally, my biggest immersion breaker in the whole game, the cause of hundreds of eye rolls and an ungodly amount of time spent staring at the wait clock.
 

3. Stop raining all the time.

The return to Skalitz is one of my all time favourite sequences in a video game. Coming home in a storm and experiencing all that went down was made so atmospheric by the environment and the weather. It was brilliant.
Problem was, it didn't stop. The rain just kept falling. On bright summer days and clear starry nights; downpour. For a few days after that sequence I became convinced my game was bugged and I ended up restarting and going through it all again. But no, medieval Bohemia just seems to exist inside some bizarre weather anomaly.
Multiple epic story moments have ended up occuring in heavy showers (mild early spoilers); my patrol with Nightingale, hunting with Hans, walking into Neuhof, getting wankered with the priest, Pribyslavitz, all of them took place in a seemingly endless downpour. That's not to say there wasn't any respite, but the few sunny moments there are never last long and then back the rain comes without warning. The Talmberg horse race took place in a full on thunderstorm. Bet the horsies loved that. Over the last two nights i've played for a combined eight or so hours and it has drizzled with rain the entire time.
I'm from the UK, I have this for most of my summer in RL. Warhorse why you gotta do me like this?
 
Bohemian Summertime
 
Not-quite-as-simple solution: The weather needs a few adjustments IMO. Downpours and storms are cool, when proportionate add to the ambience, but they should be occasional and short-term. At the moment they are near constant and last days. I want to feel like if it starts to rain I can go to a tavern, wait an hour or two with a pint and then continue on my journey.
At the moment weather feels very binary. To expand further I would add a 3rd state: overcast. At the moment the rain just starts despite it being sunny and clear. I think some days should just be a bit miserable and grey, like a proper European summer. Then if it starts drizzling or goes full on storm it would feel natural and realistic.
The way it is currently, the rain just spoils all the wonderous landscapes and meaningful conversations you've all slaved for years to create.
 
Thanks for reading. Feel free to tell me i'm a pedantic twat, but if these 3 issues were addressed I would be a much happier Henry.
 
P.S. While i've got you, if I could do something else other than ask my recently homeless refugee townsfolk "How's life in Rattay treating you?" while they crawl around in the mud begging for change, that'd be nice too.
 
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Questions	Answers
Why is it that every time a chinse man try to build a wall, some mongolians try to knock it down? Also, I've heard that Ulaan Bataar has a very rich night life, is that true?	Man, I remember that episode from South Park it was hilarious! I'm not really sure about why we would knock down their wall every once in a while, but I think it was to keep them from becoming strong. And yes we have a very rich night life. The people love clubbing and stuff.
Well can you guys start doing that again, they're getting kind of ridiculously strong...	In time we will.
Well damn, I know where I'm going to go spend a week next time I am in China! Is it easy to get a visa?	I don't how it is for people from other countries, but we don't have to have a visa to get into China.
One day, for some reason, I started looking at various parts of Mongolia on google earth. Since that day I have become obsessed with the country, perhaps because I don't know much about it. I really want to visit some day. How do you / the average Mongolian feel about their government? Are they generally happy with it, upset about certian issues, or do they dislike it completely and hope for a revolution? How do you think the typical Mongolian feels about Russian and Chinese people / their respective governments? Are the people friendly towards travellers? What about the government? What are some typical dishes people eat most there? (I can look up "traditional Mongolian cuisine" but I want to know what people actually eat on a day to day basis) How predominant is English there? Are citizens friendly towards people who speak it? (unlike the damn French)	Most people dislike the government, but not enough for a revolution. Personally I think our government pay little attention to it's country itself and more attention to other countries. I don't have any opinion about the government of Russia and China because I am no citizen to these two countries and should first experience life there before making a judgement Some people are and some people are not. I think it really depends on the ethnicity of the foreigner. The people's relationship should be explained in the first one. Had to laugh for a moment there because of the last part. We do not always show hatred towards foreigners. When there's time where the person can also speak the same language we try to help them. We're mostly friendly unless you're walking in the wrong street.
The predominant religion is supposed to be Tibetan Buddhism; is religion a large part of most people's day-to-day lives? How has this shaped national and cultural values? Thanks in advance, I am looking forward to anything you have to say! (you don't have to answer everything)	Most people say their buddhists when asked, but I hardly see any buddhist minded people here. Sure, when something tragic happens people turn to Lamas. People don't put religion and day-to-day life in the same place.
	My personal favorite non-traditional dish is Link to www.google.mn When during lunch-time people mostly eat traditional dishes like Buuz and Khuushuur as they're simple and fast to serve. Besides traditional people prefer western and european food like beefsteak, lasagna and such.
TIL Google has a Mongolian TLD.	TLD?
You don't have to live everywhere to make judgements. It's okay to judge sometimes...	Good point, but you will understand a lot more if you walk in their shoes.
Is it really a great value though? I thought there would be way more cars like this one I found at your southern border	These UAZ 69s are legends among our elderly. We also have annual rally championship with these beasts. Once you get to the city you will find yourself wanting to drive a more subtle non-SUV car.
Whenever we see Mongolia on the TV here in the UK its normally a documentary about people living on the steppe, riding horses bareback and going from place to place living in their yurt. Do many people really live like that? Or is it a small minority?	The folks in the country sides still has that lifestyle.
Looks an incredibly hard life to me, albeit traditional. Do many just give it up and move to towns or the city?	It's pretty difficult when it comes to the freezing winter. Many people would give up on farm life and move to town. Because of that we are now suffering from ever rising food cost. The government does a lot to encourage people to move back to the country sides.
Please provide a link to a picture of modern Mongolia, or it's not happening!	No problem.
Is it difficult to resist the urge to become an bloodthirsty mongolian marauder that wants to conquer the world?	I'd say I'm a peaceful individual. If I had certain potential of becoming one, then why the hell not?
Everyone has a certain potential.	I have good potential in listening to people.
China gets a pretty bad Human Rights reputation. What is it like in Mongolia in contrast to what information we get about China?	Ah yes that's the problem. Many people think that Mongolia is a part of China, but our country is independent. I'd say we get a lot more information about China because it's our neighbor.
It's because of Inner Mongolia, a part of China.	Yup.
Apart from Genghis Khan, I know nothing about Mongolian history. Going off of superdiggies question, what is one historical thing that you would want people to know about Mongolia?	It would be Attila the Hun.
How do you feel about the situation of Inner Mongolia? What about Mongolian areas of Russia?	Both are very friendly!
I know that guy from Age of Empires.	Thumbs up.
Attila was mongolian?	Before mongols existed the were the Huns. The huns are basically the ancestor of mongols.
We have our own history book which was written since the reign of Genghis Khan. Out of curiosity, what's its name in latin letters. Does it have a wikipedia page?	Http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_History_of_the_Mongols.
I knew it.That most be the reason why I like open spaces,horses and asian food.Or maybe not.	The open spaces give you this awesome feeling that makes you want to explore it by riding horseback. It's equivalent to looking to the sunset while in a ship sailing through the ocean, but on a horse you feel more control.
Is Noyan a common name in Mongolia? I'm from Turkey, but apparently my name is Mongolian according to Wikipedia.	Noyan means "Sir" in mongolian. I want to give you an upvote for your name Noyan.
Why ery time a chinaman build a warr, you mongowians have to teah it down!?	Shtop breaking down my shitty wall! Goddamn mongorians!
You mentioned being born in Russia and studying in Singapore. Did you grow up in Mongolia at all, or did you move there later on? I'm curious what the national history classes are like for children. Mostly focussed on Genghis through contemporary? Or is there a lot of early history as well?	I've been living here since when I was 2 years old. I went to Singapore to study when I was 15 and came back when I was 18. I am now 20. I graduated a private russian school, so I'm not sure how they teach national history in public ones. But our national history classes were very inclusive. It wasn't always about Genghis Khan.
Just wondering what was life like in Russia? i've heard its terribly racist.	I hardly have any memories about life in Russia. I have seen my baby photos in Russia and I think it was pretty peaceful.
What are some things, like hand gestures or eating etiquette, that are considered very rude or insulting?	Crossing fingers are considered to be a taboo in many cases. Middle-finger is still considered as an insult. First with thumb is also considered as an insult (If you aim it directly at someone's face you could provoke a fight in less than a minute). When eating traditional there are so many rules on how to prepare/cook/cut/eat, but I'm not really sure because I don't visit country sides that much.
If it's okay to ask a completely different question, what's hip in Mongolia? What I mean is, are there any trends, idols, movies, etc. that are really popular, even if they're kind of "ughh"?	I can't decide which idol is more popular because we have so many different interests in people. Like some people choose korean pop-stars, movie stars as their idol when others choose Joseph Gordon-Levitt for example, so it's a very tough one. Majority mostly watch American films and right now people are begging for the Avengers movie. Transformers movie for very popular when it hit the theaters.
My friend told me never to touch or brush a Mongolian man's shoulder because belief says one's luck is stored there. Is he telling the truth or mocking me as a dumb american?	It's true. We do believe that our fortune and luck is stored in our shoulder which we have to carry them without losing them. You're friend is telling the truth.
I can't decide which idol is more popular because we have so many different interests in people. I like this part of your answer for some reason :)	Cheers.
That is kind of cool, actually. Thanks! See, this friend also teases me a lot so I can never be sure when he's just screwing around.	We tend to screw around until someone gets hurt.
Y U KNOCK DOWN MA SHITTY WALL!?	I still laugh at that.
Have you seen the effects of Desertification?	Sure did. Judging by comparing our country with Singapore (Which I studies there for two solid years) our vegetation level is: fucked up.
I appreciate this highly scientific analysis of the situation.	Much appreciation.
Is this because of a geographic climate change in your area, or humans?	Because of dryness I'd say. Even though raining a lot doesn't help, but I think more because of the polluted air.
What kind of music do people enjoy? Are there many Mongolian artists, or does a lot of popular music get imported in from abroad?	Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Flo Rida you name it, we know it. I personally enjoy listening to Radiohead, The baths, The Black Keys, Dilated Peoples and so on. About Mongolian artists we've got those hardcore gangsta rapper, gay k-pop style boy bands, RnB singers, rock bands, metal bands. We have awesome indie-rock parties from time to time, but the most popular music here is club music.
Mongolian metal bands? Any suggestions?	Not really into that stuff. Sorry.
I was on a train from UB to Edrenet a few years ago and got chatting with a Mongolian guy in my cabin and I asked him if he knew much British music, when he replied with his favourite band being Cradle of Filth I was pretty surprised!	Yeah some people tend to listen to real music and not that garbage music that play every time on radios.
If you like indie-rock stuff, you should check out Cloud Cult and The Decemberists. They're awesome. one of my favorite Cloud Cult songs	And I raise you this
Do you live there? Who do you prefer - the Russian or the Chinese?	Yes, I do live here. I'm not really sure about where I stand between these two. Guess I'd choose Russia over China because I was born there.
What's something you think people should know about Mongolia?	Well, first of all almost every single person ask me if I ride on horseback to get to school and no I don't ride on horseback to get to school. Many of the people are buddhists. Our country is pretty free on life style.
People ask me this because I live in Texas lol.	I feel you, bro.
No horseback...? How do you get to school then.	I graduated already and now working as an engineer at internet service provider. I drive to get to work.
I'm from Australia. We always get asked if we ride kangaroos to school. ಠ_ಠ	I think that's the beauty of it, man. It's like the symbol of the country we live in. Riding a kangaroo would be bad-ass though.
Do you drive a mustang?	Unfortunately no I drive a 2nd gen prius.
So... chariots? Awesome.	Lol. To drive a Chariot to work would be bad-ass!
You seem to have been around, how many languages do you speak?	I speak Russian, Mongolian and English.
I don't know about this kind of breed, must be a fine stallion !	Props for you, man.
Is BD's Mongolian Grill "authentic" Mongolian food?	It's just like any other buffet restaurants that serves on grills. I hardly find it authentic I mean none of our traditional foods are served on grills.
We have a mongolian restaurant chain in Australia that cooks everything on a massive Mongolian Shield replica, to simulate how the Mongolian warriors cooked. Is this accurate?	That is somewhat true. Warriors would stick their swords to the ground and place one of their shields in those swords and cook.
So what is traditional mongolian food like. I'm guessing a lot of stewed goat? I love butter tea, by the way.	Butter tea's fuckin' A. I think I should include our traditional cuisine at the beginning.
Шашлык is made in Mongolia, right? You can grill it! We make Buuz all the time. It's nothing like the "Mongolian" barbecue.	The word шашлык is russian. I don't think serving on grill is Mongolian at all.
Is tourism good for Mongolia? If I were to visit Mongolia, apart from Ulan Baatar, where would be a good place to travel? Could I travel by myself using English, or would I need to take a tour?	I would not recommend travelling without a guide person if you're not planning on bringing a dictionary.
How do you say "my hovercraft is full of eels!" in Mongolian?	That is one tough sentence. I'm pretty bad in translation stuff.
Is it just the language barrier or are part of the country unfriendly towards tourists?	Unfriendly towards tourists. I really don't understand why some people hate foreigners. I think people get too defensive of their territory. Know what I mean?
That might be the problem, that there are too many of them...	This is a promising one Link to www.tourmongolia.com
Depending on the area, I could see people not liking tourists because they disrupt daily life and it gets annoying. Plus I'm sure many tourists don't try to fit in with the culture and do things that could be construed as offense. I know that would get real old real fast.	That's true.
Are many people religious there? Is the population familiar with 21 century technology like the Internet & Computers or just a small portion? Do the people pay attention to events going on around the world (like unrest in the Middle East) or do they prefer to keep to themselves?	I would say the people are very globalised. Our interest in technology is just like any other 1st world country. We're unlike middle-eastern countries.
That's great to hear. Thanks for the response.	Np.
Can you do the throat singing?	Haha nope.
Have you heard of the band Hanggai? I know they're from Inner Mongolia, but I thought it's worth asking anyway. What do you think of the traditional songs? Do people still listen to that sort of music in Mongolia?	We mostly listen to them on traditional holidays. I've never heard of this band. Thanks for letting me know about this band. They're awesome!
Does anybody in Mongolia use the traditional Mongol script, or is it still all Cyrillic?	We used traditional Mongol script until the socialism took us over. Now we use Cyrillic, but most conservative people learn both. I suck at script writing.
Щячло Cyrillic!	Би монгол хүн - I am mongolian.
Mongol Script looks awesome!	Sure does.
Comprehendable :)	We have two more letters than russian and those two are "Ө" and "Ү"
P.S. How is the Nazi movement doing? (I know you had a Nazi bar in the capital)	The Nazi movement's been quiet so far. They tend to be more active during summer time. Possibly because of more tourists.
Fucking Mongolian Summer Nazis!	They're a lot less violent compared to russian one though.
Do you spend every hour of every day trying to knock down city wall?	I look carefully for any weakness planning the perfect strategy.
Do Mongolians tell racist Chinese or Russian jokes? If so what are the best ones?	Sorry, man.
I have been thinking about this dish for years. Now I am off to yelp.com to find my nearest Mongolian dining establishment. Edit: Wow, there don't seem to be any Mongolian restaurants in the entirety of New England, well except two of those "Mongolian grill" style places.	It's a great website.
Can you give me guidance for pronouncing "Miyegombo Bayartsogt"? I hear a lot of nasal sounds whenever I listen to Mongolian being spoken and wonder if am I saying it right. Also can you 'throat sing?" Are Mongolian songs all sung that way?	Not all songs are sung like that. There's also kind called "Traditional/National singing" it resembles opera singing stretching the words longer. You would hear nasal sounds when there are M or N involved. I find it interesting that you are the first person to say that you've noticed a lot of nasal sounds. Most people say notice a large amount of Sh, Ch, Kh, Ts. Our language sounds pretty close to korean.
Do you wrestle? I love the mongolian wrestling tradition of doing the bird dance before the match.	I don't wrestle. Not really into wrestling. People love to watch wresting as how American people love watching football.
How did you learn fluent English?	Since when I was little I watched Cartoon Network almost too much.
What are drug laws like there? Do lots of people smoke marijuana there like they do in the US, and it is socially acceptable behaviour? Have you ever smoked it?	Smoking MJ is a rising trend here. It is strictly forbidden to smoke it, but people manage to get it from anywhere. MJ just grows in plain country-side. I've heard coke and ecstasy are pretty popular, but never seen them with my own eyes. I'm a smoke MJ regularly when I can.
At the end of Doctor Zhivago they discuss a war in Mongolia..I think. Did the Soviet Union really invade Mongolia and...why? I don't ever remember hearing that Mongolia was rich with resources so what was the point of the invasion if it did happen?	So, that the Soviet Union could test their weapons and train people in our territory. There are a lot of places where it used to a shooting range, boot camp etc. I had seen rusty old mortar shells and empty bullet shells. I had taken some photos of them. I'll post them when I find it somewhere in my computer.
Is the mongolian death worm for real? Reference : Link to en.wikipedia.org	I wish it was real. They were only a couple of claims about the death worm being real, but really it's just a myth.
Do you ride a horse? Have you ever done Mongolian Wrestling? Other martial arts? (I think a Mongolian guy won Judo Gold at the last Olympics, and it was a pretty big deal) How big is Russian influence in the country still? Do you eat horse meat and drink horse milk? What's your favorite food? What do you do for fun?	I ride horses when I get the chance. I'm not a very good wrestler. I've learning Kyokushin Karate for several months. Russia has little influence now. I do enjoy eating horse meat and horse milk is pretty good. Horse has this very different flavor to it. I'm like any other teenager I drink with my friends, smoke some MJ, go clubbing, 24 hour gaming marathon etc. I'm just like you guys.
Loved your country. I was there last year. Took the Transsiberian train from Moscow to Ulanbator! What do you for a living there? I noticed many young people were unemployed or employed only during the summer months working for the tourism industry.	Thanks! Well, I work full time as an engineer for an internet service provider. The young people you notice are mostly students working while on break.
How much English do you use on a daily basis outside the interent? How much American pop culture are you exposed to? Are you studying or working? What is the education system like in Mongolia?	I am very exposed to american culture. I lurk reddit for 5 hours on a daily basis and 3-4 hours of 4chan. These two really powered me into think from all sorts of perspective you know? I think the education system is very old schooled here, but it had been probably changed. It's been 5 years since I graduated high school. Currently I am working as an engineer at an internet service provider.
I definitely understand what you mean by having the internet having you think in a new perspective. This video got me introduced to Carl Sagan and it changed my life.	I respect this man. When I read some of his famous quotes they just make so much sense.
Would I be able to get by ok if I went to Mongolia and I speak both English and Russian? Do many people understand it?	Most elderly people speak russian, but rare among young people. I just happened to learn both. If you communicate in english I don't you'll have any trouble.
I guess that's the price to pay. If you still keep in touch with any of your Singaporean friends, you should know we also have the same complaints. Only that it's much worse here 'cos of the land shortage. Hopefully, I can get the chance to visit Mongolia before landscape changes permanently.	Don't worry we've got lots of space to cover to change it permanently. Take your time!
Do you ever hear anything about North Koreans fleeing to your country, in order to be sent to South Korea? As of 2010, you guys are actually the #1 trafficker of NK citizens for a new, better life (beating China at #2). Props for that!	Haha. Wow, I had no idea about that. There aren't many korean people here. I've read on the news once about having NK people deporting to SK. NK must be a difficult place to live.
Thanks for the AMA. Have you seen this movie? Link to en.wikipedia.org What did you think of it? What's up with being scared of lightening?	I was the film. I loved how they made it. I was a good experience, but the story wasn't accurate at all.
Do you mean you were in the film? It was a good movie.	Oh so sorry. I meant I saw the film (retarded fingers)
What part of the story was inaccurate?	Most of the plots were pretty inaccurate. Temujin would never eat a freaking rabbit.
What does "Хуйс" mean on your ID? :>	It means gender. Reminds you of the Russian curse word, doesn't it?
Good to know. We have family friends w/ the surname "Hui." We are all from New York which has a large Russian/Ukrainian/etc. population so the kids at school were amused.	The word Hui itself in russian is a curse word.
What are your thoughts on the mining boom in Mongolia? Is there a strong debate in Mongolia about the foreign mining companies entering your country? I've read opinions saying that because of the mining boom, Mongolia will become the new Qatar or UAE of the 2020s where every citizen will become very wealthy from the government distributing the mining profits. Is there currently a large class divide? Also, is Ulaan Bataar very polluted? Thank you for doing this AMA!	The air we breath is very polluted, but now it a deadly way. I don't have anything to prepare for the future, but that happens and everybody gets rich, then as long as people don't lose intelligence I'm cool with it.
How would you rate the cost of living in Mongolia? Also, how is your economy? Do you have a lot of unemployment? Are your taxes high?	Our tax is relatively high from my perspective. And yes we have lots of people who are unemployed. I'd rate living cost as pretty normal. Things aren't so expensive here.
I've heard that Mongolian is the most difficult language to learn for a native English speaker. As someone who speaks both languages, do any thoughts come to mind in response to that? Do you think Mongolian would be a rather difficult language for an English speaker to learn?	It may be. Our language is totally different than English. You can get the hang of the cyrillic alphabet, but when it comes to grammar it will feel alien. This is not to discourage people from learning it and people who like challenging things will definitely like it.
Cool AMA. my ex-gf's dad used to travel to Mongolia a lot to eat lamb and play golf with his business partners. What's the general economic sentiment over there? Is wealth generally spread out? Are there lots of poor people on the street? Or is everybody more middle class? I know that one of Mongolia's main industries is mining. Has the environment suffered at all and is there a lot of pollution like in China? What's dating in Mongolia like? Do people date a lot before marriage or is it more reserved?	Our economics has it's ups and downs. People are converting to a more middle-class citizens for the past few years. The biggest pollution are people living Ger's (or Yurts) they would fire up coal to keep warm during winter and to cook. If you take a look from google map you'll notice that our city is surrounded by Ger's. The dating in our country is just ordinary. Unlike other asian countries we marry who we want.
Hello! How popular is Football in Mongolia? (Not the American version)	Bigger than our traditional sports.
What is your weather like? Do you have seasons? Is it hard to find vegetables or spices due to your climate? Thank you very much. This is a great IAMA.	We have 4 full seasons. It gets so cold during winter very hot during summer. People do grow vegetables and fruits on farms, but with special care.
I have met many Mongolians and they have said their name is 'Moogi'(sp?). Is this a nick name? Does it mean anything? Is it a common name?	Yeah it's a common name also it's short for so many names that start with M. Moogi doesn't mean anything.
As a Turk I've been told my whole life by Greeks to go back to Mongolia. Although I know that Turks are not really from Mongolia many people still believe that (including Turks). Do Mongolians somehow feel close to Turks?	I think in the old times Mongols and Turks were trade buddies. There are many things that we've learned from you people.
Now i know this is a bit off topic but i have to ask. Do you think life in the eastern asia better? I mean Im Turkish and i've always wondered about how would it be if we didn't migrate and get mixed up with Arabs and Slavic races about 1500 years ago.	I do not. In my opinion they have a very strict religion. I prefer more free places where you can't be bothered with religion.
I have heard Mongolia is a very safe place to visit, where you can walk across the country, camping without fear and have the country folks feed you along the way... Is this true? Would you say Mongolia is a good place to visit in terms of price and safety, as well as richness in natural beauty to see?	It should be safe now. Many of the people in the country sides get excited when a foreigner visits. I bet that people who visited are actually recommending to explore the country-sides.
What is taught in Mongolia, when it comes to your country's history? Does everyone know that you guys were one of the greatest empires ever?	We study we possibly can about the history of our country. Who do you mean by 'everyone'? Everyone in our country or from other country?
I saw a documentary on Mongolia and thought it looked absolutely beautiful. Reminded me of an anime with green grass, mountains and blue sky. If I were to visit, where are the places you would recommend and how friendly is Mongolia to foreigners?	The green grass, mountains and blue sky are all true. Get a touring guide. ;)
What is the current status of women in Mongolia?	You can't have a valentine's day without a love.
	We respect our women.
I'm going to Mongolia (living in Ulan Bator) for a month starting this May; any tips? Any places you recommend I visit?	It's a small city, so take a walk!
How was Genghis Khan portrayed to you when growing up in the school system? Is he shown in all positive light as a total badass and awesome leader, or do they also tell about his wrongdoings and savagery? How do most people feel about him or is it a subject that's never really discussed anymore?	We discuss about him in every possible aspect. Most of all he is our great Khan and without him we wouldn't actually be here.
Can you find a lot of pirated DVDs there? Bootleg games? Knockoff merchandise of popular things?	Yeah. I'm was a heavy gamer before started working. We would just pirate everything. Most pirated things come from China.
That is awesome. do you guys study Kublai also in total depth? Is he revered as well?	We study all of our Khans from bottom to top.
What is best in life?	I'd say my family and friends.

Last updated: 2012-03-26 15:39 UTC
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Date: 2012-09-18
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Questions	Answers
Hi Ms. Ogden, I'm a big fan and kickstarter backer, thanks for doing an AMA and congrats on the new album.It's so great ya'll were able to get that out on your own. Do the Dollyrots take up all your time, or do you have a day job? If so, what do you do when you're not touring or recording? "A Little Messed Up" was so peppy and upbeat, compared to songs about wreckage, cheating boyfriends and mass extinctions. Was that the direct result of finding someone special in your life, or were you just in a more upbeat place when you wrote it?	Usually The Dollyrots = my every waking minute but in-between records money can get really low. I've been helping out with A&R at Daisy Rock Guitars most recently. Best "job" ever. 2.HA. It's so strange but I'm not really sure where it all comes from. It can be my life, family, something happening in the World, another song, a book... After "Because I'm Awesome" I think I felt a little more at ease with my decision to be a musician. That was such a fun time for the band... touring galore, tv spots, and "livin the dream mannn."
Since you guys struck out on your own for this album, what has been the hardest part of not having a record label? For instance, were there certain things the label took care of for you (promoting the album, booking shows) that you have to do on your own now? What have been the major pros/cons of doing this album alone?	Well it was the hardest but most satisfying thing I've ever done. I think the Kickstarter mailing was the hardest part. My apartment looked like semi truck of merch exploded in it for months! BUT the response from the fans has been worth every sleepless night and paper cut. Labels definitely have their place. We wouldn't have been able to do this without the experience of being on labels and learning how it all works. The best part was the freedom to do whatever we wanted at every step without having to convince anyone but ourselves.
Do you think an independent label move is sustainable for experienced bands such as yours? Could you invision a self-directed label as your new identity? Many big artists have followed this route to success including Dolly Parton, Ani DiFranco, Prince, Public Enemy and of course, Black Flag's SST or Dischord Records to name a few! Perhaps: Quito Records?	I think it's the only sustainable option for us. By retaining ownership we can actually make a living. Hopefully. We released it under Arrested Youth Records and RED is distributing it. If this actually works we'll be ready to do it again in about a year or so! Quito Records!
Kelly, Who are your favorite bass players (past or present), and who has influenced you the most, musically speaking. What do you like to read while you are out on the road? Fave books? You're an awesome role model for young women, aaand you give the best hugs of any musician I've ever received.	Fav bassists: Kim Deal, Chris Novoselic, Erik Chandler, Kim Gordon, Lemmy, Dee Dee Ramone, John Fields. Books: anything I'm given along the way. Really. We have to pack light so I can't really bring books. I'll start with one and trade along the way usually. I love fantasy, the classics, and rock books of course. THANK YOU! I do my beast.
On the Road by Jack Kerouac. You tore out the pages and put them in the kickstarter packages of random stuff. :-)	Yes I did! Hope you got a good page!
Are you doing an ama because you're awesome?Also what were the pros and cons of your kickstarter?	Uh, like, totally. ;) Kickstarter pros: Learned people actually like what we do. Control of the whole album process. I got to send out tons of bits of myself (including locks of hair, maybe I'll get cloned!) to people who care. I feel like I got a lot closer to our fan base. Now they're more like friends. It was really cool to have them be involved from the start instead of just getting the record once it's finished. Kickstarter cons: SPREADSHEET FROM HELL. It was tough to know the cost vs profit margins on things so we ended up spending a lot more than we planned on shipping. I haven't seen my friends in months and if I did I always had to leave to do Kickstarter stuff. But would I do it again... not sure. By the time it's time again I bet I will forget about all the tough stuff.
Without a label, the spreadsheet from hell sounds like great demographic research. Do you ever sort by zip code to see where to plan your tour dates?	That would be really smart but the address field is one cell. There MUST be a way! We just throw pins at a map.
You're soooper hot, but you've only done a couple of sexy cheesecake photoshoots in your whole career. And a line from the new album is "You're a porn star, rock star / six of one, half-dozen of the other!" So I don't know what my question is, but it's something about sexiness in music these days. What do you think? Did it ever used to just be about the music, man, or has T&A always been around?	Ha. Well thanks. Rock n Roll = sex. I mean literally... there's no question about that. It's how it's used that gets weird for women. I mean Iggy Pop can writhe around topless and it's totally cool but Kathleen Hannah takes off her top and it's totally different. We've all just gotta do what feels right to us. Rock n roll is freedom. If I want to take my clothes off and run into the North Sea and let people take photos (insert true story guy) that shouldn't really matter.
Pics or it didnt happen ;)	I'm sure someone has them! You might need to wait for Scotland to wake up. It was in Aberdeen.
What's up with all the drummers in the Dollyrots? Is it you or Luis?	HHAAHA! It's a tough life being in a band... most of the drummers have decided it was just time to move on &/or grow up. It's hard to have relationships and I said it before but it's really unstable financially. It's not for everyone. AND Luis and I have been friends since we were kids so inevitably we're kind of a pair. That's gotta be hard since we like to keep it a three-piece.
Who is your favorite band of all time? and who inspired you to play bass?	You'd think I'd finally have an answer for this but no... how about top 3? Against Me, Beatles, Breeders. Kim Deal did it. edit: fer spellin good.
Kelly! The new album is really fantastic. When you switched from an academic path to one of punk rock, what are some of the initial goals you set for yourself and what are some unexpected difficulties you never expected you'd run into?	Thanks! I'm pretty proud of it! The first goal was to get to Los Angeles, and get a record deal. From where I came from (90's kid in FL) that was the most logical first step. The next goal was to get on the road. Then NO DAY JOB! I think the hardest part has been not giving up when it gets tough. Usually those moments come on the road after no sleep, too many drinks and the loneliness kicks in. Sometimes when we're in the songwriting mode it can get really hard too... Luis and I have been writing together for over 10 years but there's still a lot of emotion and tugging put into every song. Being a musician is also REALLY financially unstable. But I expected that.
Which one of you does the most driving? I know there is someone who can't drink that ends up driving. Hope fully that isn't you. When you guys coming to Phoenix, Az?	THANKS! Luis does a lot of the driving during the day but we tr to bring a tour managedriver for the nights. We like boooze!
I would be nervous if Luis was driving. He looks like he could have fits of road rage. haha.	He's actually a really calm dude when he's not strapped to a guitar!
Hi Kelly! What's the meaning behind "Promised Call"? I love the song, but I feel like it's about more than waiting for a call from a crush.	Most of our songs start in one place and morph to include other ideas as it grows. That one is definitely about pining over someone but it's also a little snapshot of my life at the time. It was college... veggi dogs and midnight trips to Wal-Mart. Sarasota FL. Side note... Luis and I actually applied to be night time shelf stockers at that Wal-mart and never got a call.
They probably saw where you guys went to college and decided it wasn't worth it to hire a couple of New College troublemakers. That, or the manager didn't want to hire people with IQs double his/hers.	Both!
Being such an awesome role model, and having experience in LA's music scene, what's the best piece of advice you've been given by your mentors (or from where ever) for young women interested in a music career? In a related note, how can I, as a father, raise/encourage/support a kickass, punk rock daughter like yourself?	Awww thanks Jesse. I've had a lot of great advice. I think there's this idea that it's all really catty but to be honest the good stuff has far outweighed the dumb stuff. Joan Jett told me to just work at my craft and be myself. That's pretty much it. I try not to worry about trends or about what other people think which is a little tricky when it comes to the whole role model thing. It's a blurry little line.. the rock n roll life and being someone young girls can look up to. But I'm grateful. It keeps me inspired.
What's the hardest part of touring?	The diarrhea. Seriously. I still get nervous every show. There are hundreds of girls who found themselves in the bathroom right before I was about to play that can attest to this. Hey. Everybody poops. Link to imgur.com
Can I tell people that I was in your band but I was too punk rock so you had to kick me out?	Hell yeah. Here's a pic of me and you for proof. Link to imgur.com
What was the inspiration behind your favorite self-composed song(s)?	Out of LA... Kim Deal bass line and the road. Tour is such a bittersweet experience. Such extreme ups and downs.
What is your most favorite and least favorite dollyrot song?	Most favorite: Twist Me to the Left Least Favorite: it's hard. they're like my children. My least favorite one to play live is Om Nom Nom... can't get it right!
Any funny tour stories about other bands?	This is always tricky... what to spill... Well I terrified Joan Jett in San Diego once after I split my head open and ran past her covered in blood as she was walking up to the stage. The Buzzcocks had a Boston CD in their bus and Diggle would do a "More Then A Feeling" sing along every night (Pete hated it) and we'd all scream the lyrics to "Smells Like Teen Spirit." When they toured with Nirvana Kurt told them it was the same song. And Bowling for Soup... every night is full of stories with them. One night in the front of the bus a few of the dudes plucked out each others pubes with pliers and tried to fill a water bottle. Another night we stopped at a 24hour Wal Mart and I bought a slingshot and paint balls. We then went outside and shot each other in the back. BAD IDEA. Here's mine: Link to imgur.com ANd we're in a van with Prima Donna right now. 1st show is tonight. !0 minutes ago I started yelling for the driver to pull over because I thought we blew a tire... turns out it was Kepi Ghoulie's song Rock n Roll Shark.
Will you Have a waffle with me?	Can it be at a Waffle House?
Of course what self respecting performer gets waffles anywhere else? How do you waffle at the house? plain, berry, or pecan?	I like plain with a lot of butter and a little syrup. 2 eggs over medium and grits wiyth LOTS of salt and pepper on the side.
I with ya, except the grits, i have to get hash brown smothered and covered. preferred beverage go!	Now I'm hungry!
Hi kelly! i am a big fan of your band, but mostly a big fan of your dog. :) So would you rather fight one luis-sized quito or 100 quito-sized luises?	TERRIFYING OPTIONS! Luis isn't that big so one Luis' sized Quito it is.
A luis-sized quito would certainly be a cuter way to die, but imagine the amplified effect of a luis-sized quito's expressed anal glands...still sticking with your answer??	AHHH worst dumpster behind a sushi place in The Valley on a 108 degree summer day. Sticking with my answer. I'm almost used to it.
You don't want it G rated, so can we talk about sex? If so, just curious, does a long tour kill a girl's appetite? If it doesn't then how does that itch get scratched? Yes, I like mixing metaphors :)	Hahaha. That kinda sounds gross. Definitely don't scratch a girl down there. It depends... I mean I get REALLY tired but we're all just animals right?
Saw you guys so many times in the early days at places like Mr T's and The Echo. It's great to see you still going strong. Do you stay in touch wi any LA bands from that era? And what the hell was up with 8-Bit's live shows? Kinda amazing, but also entirely baffling.	I LOVE 8-Bit! They were so crazy and the songs were so catchy awesome Nintendo dancy good. We keep in touch with almost all those bands. There's actually a documentary that Dave (one of the drummers in the Kiss or Kill Scene made and when it premiered last year it really brought us all together. Here's the trailer if you wanna go back in time... Link to www.youtube.com
I was thinking about building a swimming pool in my backyard shaped like a rabbit. Do you think I can wear a witches hat after halloween?	Can we fill the pool with peeps? And witches hats are always in style. How is that even a question?
How come i never feel satisfied after eating a snickers candy bar?	Because it's not bacon.
Hey guys, I played in a band called Gertie Fox. We rocked a few shows with you guys at Mr. T's Bowl in Highland Park many years ago. Glad to see you guys are still at it. I miss getting in the van and touring. Anyway, do you think there is still a true DIY scene out there across the country? Or is indie rock just another label for people to categorize music? Anyhow, keep rocking!	Hey! You guys were great! I think it's actually easier to be a DIY band now. I think the label indie rock has become more about a sound than an ethic. Kinda like what happened to "Alternative" music in the 90's. With social networking, TuneCore, Bandcamp and fundraising platforms like Kickstarter if there are people who want your music it's not hard to get it to them. Even if you don't tour or have a distro deal you can still get music to people for almost free!
Is Kelly Dollyrot married or in a long term relationship? If not, is she open to random proposals from rabid fans?	I love proposals regardless of my status!
So were you born awesome or did some event in your life make you awesome? Huge fan of you guys, you rocked at the Bootleg when I saw you weeks ago. It was awesome to meet you and everything.	I come from awesome... my family is amazing. They're not musical but they've always encouraged me to be myself and do whatever I'm passionate about. Even if they think it's crazy. Picking up a guitar was probably a major turning point. And happy to rock you.
If you had only primitive weapons, and had to fight a dinosaur to the death in a "Dinosaur Death Match", what is the biggest dinosaur you think you could defeat? You don't have to give a specific dinosaur, just give us a general size. Also you can't set traps.	No traps huh... Pure physical strength? I could take a big one if the scales were rough and I could scurry up it's back and get to the neck. If I were to kill anything I'd want it to be fast and as painless as possible you know. I could take a triceratops from below. I just hopped on a Sinclair dinosaur at the gas station... good timing.
Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or 50 duck sized horses? Also, if you even have them, do you plan to release the rest of the green demo songs?	HA! I've been bitten by a bird and a horse. 50 duck sized horses! Beaks hurt! But I don't really want to fight. Can I just pet the duck sized horse?
Boring question but what do your family think of what you do. I only ask because after 10 years and 4 albums you guys haven't really "hit it big". EDIT: Extra question, what's your opinion on the popular pop-punk scene (All Time Low, You Me At Six etc)? Also, I can't wait to see you in October.	I know it's been hard on them. We're really close... my parents, my sister and me. When we moved to CA I cried the whole way and wanted to go home the first 2 years but I really felt like I had to do this. I think they get it now. When we were on CSI:NY I think they relaxed a little. They come to shows and I told them Dublin was my favorite place to play so... they're going to Dublin in October to see us play! (This is huge, my parent's are not really travelers!) It must be really hard as a parent to see your child throw away a safe successful career in Biology to move across the country to be in a rock band. Edit: missed last part... For better or worse I really don't follow that scene. I listen to bands we meet along the way that I love and still love the music I listened to when I was a kid. That's probably why we end up playing with Buzzcocks, Go Gos, Bowling for Soup, the Breeders etc... And we've never really felt welcome in that scene for whatever reason. I NEVER read comments on PunkNews if that means anything to you.
These have all been such tame questions for an AMA! my question: do you ever fantasize about me?	Finally! I do sometimes fantasize about something weirder...
I knew it.	Link to imgur.com
Is Chris Burney as funny in person as he is on Twitter? Also, did you fuck him? Please tell me you fucked Chris. I'm a guy. I would fuck Chris.	Yes he is. He is one of the funniest people I have ever known. And not yet. I'm hoping I'll get lucky on the UK tour.
Kelly, Popbang Radio has been playing you guys non stop since we heard "Kick Me To The Curb". You have a ton of internet and college radio support, but do you ever get frustrated that corporate radio hasn't really caught on to you guys yet?	Nah. I'd rather be a working band for a long time than a one hit wonder. If it happened now we might gain a bunch of fair weather fans for a little while but it'll be the real ones we make music for down the road that still support us.
Kelly, what is the set list like for this tour? Mostly new stuff, a pretty even mix of old and new? How long is the show? Bonus Question: thong or boy briefs?	Something like Hyperactive, New College, I Wanna Go, Brand New Key, Satellite, Interaction, Twist Me to the Left, Because I'm Awesome, Starting Over Again, Beach Boy, and a few others here and there. It's about 40 mins most nights. It'll be a little shorter in the UK. And it depends on the outfit and the mood. Both. ;)
HA! I've been bitten by a bird and a horse. 50 duck sized horses! Beaks hurt! But I don't really want to fight. Can I just pet the duck sized horse?	Oops... Green Demo question... I figure we'll release a record of our favorite demos and rare recordings eventually. There are a ton of them.
Hey Kelly! Thanks so much for doing this, you and Luis are both so awesome. 2 questions: What's your favourite blink-182 songs? What's a band or song you like that most people would not expect? Thanks!	Nice user name! Dammit and Small Things. Unexpected... Louis Jordan.
Hey! I'm Kathryn! First off, your new album kicks ass! I dig the subtle use of some synths. To start with the questions... Are those synths? or some of Luis' crazy pedals? I'm a guitarist, mostly focused on blues, funk and rock but I'm trying to get myself to sing! How can i transition my voice from uncut bluesy style to a rockish style, which I aim for!? Also, any tips on how to write impersonal songs (lyrics) to start out that sound good and are just FUN to perform? How can prevent nervousness singing!? I've been a guitarist with no nerves for a while but vocally its totally different! Finally... what are the chords for Hyperactive? Did you change the key in the single version from the demo version? Im confused! hehe :D thanks Kelly! You rock. You're one of those motivating rocker chicks that inspires me do to anything I want musically and everywhere esle! Thanks! WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO ARIZONA?! <3.	Hey! Those are synths all right! We've always stayed away from them because we were worried about the songs working live but not this time! If we heard a melody we stuck it in there! We decided live shows are just that and we can do whatever we want with the recordings. As far as singing just keep writing and you'll find your voice. I'm not sure how you start but I find if I just play a riff and make grunts or hum along to it words come out. Don't over think it and you'll probably get some pretty silly stuff. As far as nerves go... I still haven't figured it out. I usually have A LITTLE something to drink. But not too much or you'll be dried out and end up just yelling. (Trust me, I've learned the hard way.) And I'm not sure if we changed Hyperactive. It's possible... Intro: C A F C Verse: C G F C PRE: F G Chorus: C G F C C A F C And hopefully I'll see youon our way back West after the UK in November. Keep at it! You're gonna be awesome.
Oh, I'm familiar!! What is the best show you've ever played, and why? (crowd?Venue?city? etc) Thanks!	I think my favorite ever was Dublin at The Academy in October 2010 with Bowling for Soup, A and Forever the Sickest Kids. I've never played in a city for the first time and had a crowd know so many words and be so enthusiastic. It was so awesome my family is flying there for the show Oct 18th.
Love yall. Just one question. When are yall going to come play Austin Tx?	Maybe on our way home from the East Coast after the UK Tour... That would be November. If not then really soon I'm sure. SXSW at the latest.
Hey thanks for the AMA. Honestly this is the first I've heard of you but I respect anyone with the balls to leave everything behind and chase their dreams. Anyways, I've been playing music (drums) as a hobby for about 8 years. I'd love to pursue it as a career. What are some must-haves before committing to music full time? Got any tips for living life on the road (saving money, staying sane)? Is this a dream you can pursue from Small Town, USA or should someone look look into moving to a major music hub? Thanks!	Just do it! You'll have no choice but to make it work. Learn to cook... that will save you loads of money. frugal is great for general tips too. The sanity part is tricky I figure it's like anyone who is self-employed. You just never really feel totally secure. But that's the trade off. You've gotta do what makes your life good every day. And I really think most musicians can do this anywhere they can find a band or people they feel inspired by. The internet really changed things... when we started out there was no such thing as Social Networking so it made a lot of sense to move to LA but now... not so important. Any one else have input? I only know my story so... :)
Have you ever done anythign on stage that you looked back on and thought wow that was crazy?	A couple times... we were opening for the Breeders one night and I got into a car accident right before it. I had to get my head stapled shut and must've had a bit of a concussion or something because I totally Blacked out in the middle of a song. Another time we were at the Triple Rock in Minneapolis and I had a huge delicious veggie meatloaf meal, then too much whiskey, then the band before us turned ALL THE LIGHTS off and played with 3 strobe lights going off. I don't know what happened but I puked and felt really really weird. I have no recollection of the show and ended up splitting my finger open so I was covered in a blood stripe from my left ear to my right toes. And one time... I mooned the crowd in Philly.
All that other stuff does seem crappy but mooning the crowd makes for an automatic awesome show, had to be lucky to be in the crowd that day!	Oh.. it's on the internet. I'm sure you can find it.
Why didn't you use Hanley's song? Reigning Monarchs, Red Car and you guys.. what would it take to make that happen?	Sweetconfusion... you've got me confused! We did use the Hanley/USA Mike song on the album... FU Famous. Is that what you mean? And it's awesome when you get to meet and work with the people you've looked up to. We're always game.
I remember being on vacation one year in 2004. A friend of mine and I met this girl who was staying in a room near ours and she introduced me to you guys. First song I heard was Kick Me to the Curb, and my favorite would have to be your cover of Brand New Key. As for my questions, do you do your own makeup or do you have someone else who does? Also, what would your favorite makeup brand be? Aaaand, would you knit me an awesome scarf? haha.	Nice! I'm grateful to that girl! AS far as make-up goes sometimes I have someone do it for photo shoots and big shows but 90% of it is my doing for better or worse. I have crappy skin so I've gotten great at the concealefoundation combo move and my method with eyes is just keep putting black on and it'll look cool! No real brand loyalty... I like Mac, Stella, Nars, Revlon, whatever! And keep an eye on my Etsy page /prettypunkshop. Seems like you guys want scarves so I'll get to work. xo!
Hmm... my booze to Hanley ratio is usually pretty high, so I might be mis-remembering. I thought they wrote a song for 'A Little Messed Up.' Shrug, that's what I get for not talking to people as often as I should. How is Quito(sp?)	Ahhh... we wrote FU Famous on the new album (The Dollyrots) with Kay and Mike! Quito is great. Sitting on the back bench next to me rolling through the Rockies.
What is it like working with Bowling For Soup and Patent Pending so much? And why did you choose to cover The Bitch Song and Little Miss Impossible on One Big Happy? P.S. Thanks for following me back on twitter!	It's like having a rock n roll family. That's one of the best parts of all of this. You make such strong bonds along the way. Life long friends. And picking those songs was easy... just did our favorites! You got it!
Hmmm...question... What city/state/country would you like to live in if you were to move from LA (and Florida)?	Tricky Whit! I fantasized about moving to Dingle, Ireland when I visited. Minneapolis always seems like a good idea then we go in winter and it's -8 degrees.
KELLY! I miss you and I can't wait to see you SOOON! ;) I just wanted to tell you that the new album IS AMAZING and it hasn't stopped blasting out of my car speakers! The most serious question I can think to ask right now is : What inspires you to do what you do? Also...favorite color? Hmmm. <3.	HOORAY! You and everyone else who likes it. I will do this as long as people care. and GREEN! When I was a kid I wanted a pink bike but my parents got me a green one... now it's my favorite. I GOT A BIKE!
how much Taco Bell do you eat?	We eat Taco Bell almost every single day on tour. Seriously.
Nah, just bars so far. Here are some pics! Do you have an idea for a design? I can't make them in time for tonight's show (welcome to colorado!!) but I'd be happy to send it on!	COOOL! Our logo? Screeching Quito? Link to imgur.com
How many people tell you they give kids your music? I have both me nieces, ages 7 & 10, singing "Because I'm Awesome"	Lots... it's a little weird... because it's not REALLY kids music but it works. I mean I was singing some really weird stuff along to the radio when I was a kid. Like 2 live crew.
Who has more tattoos? Kelly, Luis or Quito?	I do... with a whopping 1! I did a crescent moon on my ankle myself when I was 17. It's pretty faded now.
Kelly! You are the reason I picked up bass! It was awesome meeting you at warped tour 08, Carson I think... We drew mustaches on Katy Perry's album. Do you have any odd pre-show rituals?	Oh yeah!!! And wow! I bet you're better than me by now! My pre-show ritual starts 45 mins before and goes a little something like this: 2 whiskeys, then diarrhea, vocal warm ups, a beer and general freak outs about having a set list, people not being on the guest list when they should be and whether people are actually showing up. VERY glamorous.
Well, I believe most fans would like to know...who was your favorite Mormon girlfriend in high school?	Liz of course!!! Is this you?
What was/is it like playing with bowling for soup?	As fun and awesome as you could ever imagine. They're great guys and there's no ego, bullshit, or drama. It's really just One Big Happy family. ;)
when are you guys coming back to tulsa?!	Maybe on our way back from the East Coast in November.. if not then SOOON!
Kelly, when you come back to PGH can we sup dudes?	OH PLEASE! I miss suppin' dudes with you! Sept 27th. We'll be suppin dudes together!
If "most of us" are not familiar with the band, why the fuck would we be interested in asking you anything?	Are you familiar with music? I might know a few things about playing it, writing it, touring if you're interested. If not thanks for the Link to imgur.com ;)
Hey Kelly, what is your favorite cereal?	As a treat? Cinnamon Toast Crunch. What I eat, Kashi Go Lean.
Heyo Kelly, kickstarter backer here. How many times do you think you have seen Shawshank Redemption? Broccoli, or snap peas? And the most awful question ever...when ya coming back to Tempe?	Hey Andy! I made you a scarf! Never seen Shawshank (but I've never seen a LOT of movies). Snap Peas for sure... I have a crappy thyroid so I'm supposed to avoid cruciferous veggies. And SOOON!
Now that you've been lasered, is there anything else you could possibly want??	Cloned!
Saw you guys the last two times you played at Alex's Bar in LBC, so yeah thanks for that! Since I have to ask a question though, i'll ask... when are ya'll coming back to Alex's?	Of course!

Last updated: 2012-09-23 06:56 UTC
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