I never converted for a few reasons. I was playing on an old Dell with an integrated chipset and got terrible frames in CSGO. I also couldn’t find my favorite type of server! Well, I got a new gaming PC, so frames are no longer an issue. I’m still looking for the perfect server though. I would call the server i’m looking for a “pub style” server. CSGO has always been more competitive than what I’m looking for, with each match taking 30+ minutes and full attentiveness from each player for the duration of the match. I prefer a more casual server that I can hop in and out of with no real impact on the match. This is what I look for specifically.
HIGH POPULATION SERVER - my favorite servers have 24-32 players total.
CUSTOM MAP SERVER - I get tired of playing the same handful of maps and memorizing ever call sign/angle/cranny. Custom map servers have bigger maps that allow for the higher population. They have many more choke points than the 4-5 that many standard maps offer. This allows for crazy flanking runs and fast moving action. There are so many great maps out there! I find it incredible that 90%+ of all servers stick to the same stale dust2/piranesi/cbble/office/train.
WIRE PULL MOD - this is probably my favorite mod, and I can’t believe it isn’t more common. The wire pull mod keeps everyone engaged until the very end of each round, and allows miracle clutches that are endlessly entertaining. There is no feeling quite like being outnumbered 8-1, sneaking in close, jumping onto the bomb and pulling the correct wire for an epic instant victory!! There’s nothing I hate more than watching an outnumbered player waste everyone’s time by making no effort at the objective in order to save their m4. The wire pull mod makes an attempt worthwhile in every situation.
BETTING MOD - this has to be common in CSGO, right? It’s been the standard in CSS forever, and just adds a great dynamic to the economy system.
HONORABLE MENTIONS - map nomination mod - Rock the vote mod - Stat tracking mod
I recently fired up CSS on the new rig for the first time in years and have found a couple servers that nearly fit the bill. But as you could imagine, CSS is dying and if I could find what I’m looking for, I’d love to give CSGO a real shot.
So, does my ideal server style exist in CSGO? Or is it all still 5v5 on the same old maps?
Thanks for taking the time. I appreciate it.

Hey guys,
A lot of questions about this pad have been popping up. And a lot of people have shared their pics and first impressions. I’ve had the opportunity to use the 3XL pad for the past week. Big thanks to Razer for sending this one out for me to try. However I should tell you that will in no way change my opinion of the pad.
If you’ve seen my other posts you know I’ve grown up on cloth pads. Grew up playing Counter-Strike and ended up settling on a GSR for tournaments and general play. But I've always been on the lookout for something better. Sooo I’ve gone down the extremely expensive road of collecting peripherals lol. I've used the GSR+FK1 for many, many years. I’ve only now finally moved onto another mouse - The xtrfy M4. I’ll make a post about that in mousereview later.
I don’t generally test out peripherals in aim trainers. I like to practice with the tools given in any game (CSGO Training maps/Valorant practice range/just playing the game) because I truly believe that yields better results.
OUT OF THE BOX:
Yes, it smells like rubber. It goes away after a few days. It lays flat immediately with no curled edges. I like this. It sits down and hugs my desk like it belongs there.
No stitched edges. Cannot comment on fraying after heavy use. I’d bet my left nut the longevity of this pad will suffer for it on arm aimers. I’d like to see a stitched edge option in the future even if it’s just on the regular size.
BRANDING:
Minimal. Zowie style tag in the corner. Perfect.
SURFACE:
It feels like the QCK and GSR had a baby and Razer gave birth to it. Very smooth to the touch. Arm aimers rejoice, this will be soft and plush. But not too plush your mouse sinks in (Think Artisan XSOFT). My tracking around corners in CSGO/Valorant felt right at home coming from a GSR.
Spray transfer (Switching targets in the thick of the moment while already shooting) felt REALLY smooth on this pad. I was making some insane double / triple kills I had no business doing.
The friction of this pad is.. Odd. It almost feels like a bit faster version of the Equate. Very little initial but the dynamic is consistent and thick. If that makes sense? I'll explain this more at the end of the post.
Cat hair brushed off easily with a horse hair brush I use on my mouse pads. Dirt doesn’t seem to accumulate on it as fast as an Artisan Zero or GSR. Longevity of glide is yet to be seen, but I imagine since there’s no coating and the tight weave screams quality, it’ll last. But don’t quote me.
I’ve seen people claim this has no X Y difference, but they are incorrect. It may not be immediately noticeable when you’re using the pad, but if you rub your finger softly left and right, and repeat going up and down, there is noticeable drag. I’ll explain this further:
ISSUES:
There is one problem with this pad I need to point out. The X Y friction is backwards. I’ve experienced this with two different sized versions of the same pad before. The Mp510. I tried the mat and got an XL for a friend and felt it and immediately noticed the vertical was faster than horizontal, but on my desk mat version it was the normal faster horizontal speed.
Refer to this video for a perfect example. One of the guys on Patched, don’t know their names sorry (Great smaller periph channel on YT), says that left to right had more stopping power than vertical movement. That is not how that pad is supposed to work lol. That would be like the GSR being flipped so left and right is super muddy and up and down is fast. Video of them talking about the mp510, linked to the correct time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_AaSHlVVIc&feature=youtu.be&t=163
See what he said? That’s definitely not how that pad is supposed to be.
My closest gaming buddy got a Gigantus V2, just the Large sized version that looks like a GSR. He came over for a few beers over the weekend and I asked him to bring it so I could sate my curiosity.
The exact same thing happened with the Gigantus V2 except the other way around! My 3XL pad is not oriented correctly. Whether it’s a production issue or the way the pads are stamped out on a production line? (I don't know how these are made) But the XL pads need to be flipped 90 degrees. Their XY is all borked. This is potentially a problem for a lot of people who like pads with XY difference for competitive shooters. I'm sure at the end of the day our brains will eventually compensate, but that's a direct 180 from how pads normally work.
If I flip my desk mat vertically and hang it off the back of my desk it feels like a great pad. I’d probably use it. Horizontal glide feels amazing, great stopping power. It's almost perfect, like a mat sized GSR I've been waiting for! ...But having it the right way around the pad was too muddy. I couldn’t make micro adjustments very well unless they were jumping over a box in CS or something.
Maybe this was an issue with just my pad? Maybe it's intentional? If it is which one is correct? The 3XL I have with slower Horizontal? or the Large my friend has with slower vertical!?
Maybe it was one of the first iterations and this problem was noticed and fixed later on? I don’t know. But you guys should be aware of this issue. You can easily feel for yourself if you rub your finger along in the same angle for X and Y.
CONCLUSION:
Well constructed cloth pad that screams quality and consistency if you wash it once every 6-8 weeks under heavy use. I would most certainly use this pad as it looks great on my desk, feels great, and provides stable aim for the games I play. However, I can’t use the one I was given because the X Y difference is flipped, and too muddy to use realistically.
The price point of this pad, and the availability of it make this a serious contender to the GSR, and especially the QCK. I think it's higher quality than the QCK, and better suited for high skill ceiling competitive shooters. I'd tie this with the GSR. I bet in the next 1-2 years we'll see a big list of Pro Valorant / CS players using the Gigantus v2. (Hopefully one of those people is me LOL)
I’d buy one if I knew the one I’d receive wouldn’t have this problem. It would completely replace my GSR.
--
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As always, I can answer questions about how it relates to different mousepads.
CAN COMPARE TO THE FOLLOWING PADS:
Artisan Hien MID/XSOFT
Artisan Raiden MID/XSOFT
Artisan Zero MID/XSOFT
Artisan Hayate Otsu SOFT
X-Raypad Equate
X-Raypad Equate+
X-Raypad Aqua Control+ ROB STRATA (Coated, different than black)
HyperX Fury S Pro
ASUS Rog Sheath
CoolerMaster MP510
Aorus AMP 500
MAD CATZ G.L.I.D.E 38
Razer Gigantus (Original)
Logitech G640
Corsair MM300 and MM350 (Same surface just one is thicker)

tldr: The grapple is the hardest skill I had to learn in any game I have ever played. That's it, that's the reason.
I am going to start by letting you know that I am not strictly a Pathfinder main, with PF I have around 1.5K kills, with Wraith 3K, Lifeline 1.5K, Bloodhound 1K, Mirage, Bangalore, Octane around 500 kills each, and currently I enjoy playing Loba, so as you can see I have variety and have used a lot of the Legends, even those who were considered useless. And I even hated PF at the beginning because he was so tall, I don't like tall legends, as you can see, I don't really play Gibby, Caustic or Revenant.
Now, let me tell you why PF is so much different than all the rest.
The grapple is the hardest skill I had to learn in any game I have ever played. That's it, that's the reason.
Forget about bunnyhopping and healing, KZ maps on CSGO, skillfull jump, all of that, nothing compares to PF grapple. People keep compairing his grapple to other abilities. "But wraith has the same cooldown!". Yeah she does, because all you need to do is press Q and hold W, that's all it takes. Do you know what happens when you press Q and hold W with PF? You die.
Pathfinders grapple is so hard to use correctly, you need so much practice and trial and error. Sometimes I would just go into Firing Range, put on some music, grab a golden helmet, and just grapple around. That's how I learned how to get from the bottom of the big building in Train Yard to the levitating cart, and I have never seen anybody do that except for TSM Albralrlie. All the time, every game, I would use the grapple every 15 seconds, to jump over a rock, to get on a small height, literally anything, just to practice it, because trust me, it's not easy to master.
For all of you that never experianced PF the way he was meant to be played, let me give you a few examples:
-Most people know that when you are on flat ground, and grapple on that same ground, you need to jump the moment your grapple connects to the ground so you can get some air and not just drag on the ground. But did you know that if you start walking backwards the moment you press Q and then jump after it connects you get a speed boost? Did you know that if you hold S and D while the grapple is flying and jump when it connects you fly sideways in an arch? Did you know that while you do that, if you keep holding D and move your mouse to the right, you fly much closer to the ground for a longer distance on a looser arch?
-Did you know that if you grapple at your feet and immediately jump you get boosted 5 meters in the air?
-Did you know that if you stand next to a tall building and grapple at the top and do nothing else, you probably won't make it to the top? But if you took two steps back while the grapple is deployed, look to the side, parallel to the building and hold W the moment the grapple is connected, then look towards the building, hold D and move your mouse to the right, you can jump over the whole building and land on the other side? Did you know that? Did you know that if you do those exact steps but jump BEFORE you hit Q, you will land perfectly on top of the building?
-Did you know that when you grapple at a point that is higher than you character all you need to do is look to the right, hold D and move your mouse to the right without jumping, you will get slingshoted a looong distance.
-Did you know that if you bunny hop at the end of a long low grapple, you can get another 50 even 100 meters of distance covered?
-And many many more...
Most people don't know. And you bet your ass new players won't learn, because they can't just practice whenever they want, they need to keep that grapple charged and ready just in case, because once you use it, for the next 35 seconds, you are just a robot with Low Profile the size of Caustic, without any combat abilities.
That's why the grapple nerf (it was much more than a simple nerf) is such a big deal, and that's why many people are glad it happened, because they never took the time to learn it and never experianced it the way it was meant to be used.
Don't make fun Legends unfun to play by nerfing them, instead, buff unfun Legends. This is a game, we play to have fun.
Edit: As u/the_disillusi0nist mentioned, I agree that he should have been nerfed for sure, but not 35 seconds. Also, unlimited tacticals in Firing Range?

I was incredibly excited about 51 Worldwide Games, to the point where I stayed awake until 5 am last night, even though I had to wake up for work at 7.
The game selection, the graphics, everything is beautiful. What I was looking forward the most to, though, was the online mode, as I live away from my family and friends and don't have people to play locally or on a single system with. I was finally going to be able to challenge players around the world to a game of Mancala, or jump in for a quick 4-in-a-row.
And this is where the heartbreak came. I can't imagine what Nintendo did to it to make it run so slow and be so laggy, to the point where nothing that needs precision and timing works, not even toy curling. I got bored waiting for my opponent to play his first turn in Yacht, after which they promptly left. A "quick" game of 4-in-a-row can take 10 minutes just because of how laggy it is. And don't even get me started on 4 player games like Hold'em or President.
Now, I know this can probably be attributed to my bad WiFi, but then why is it that I can play Splatoon 2 without a hitch 99% of the time, but rolling dice 3 times takes a few minutes? Why can I play CSGO on my laptop on sub-40 ms ping, on that same WiFi, but I can't play a game of Blackjack because it takes 2 minutes for players to set their bets, then everyone leaves?
Thank you for your hard work, Nintendo. The games are excellent, not a single complaint about them.
But that netcode has broken my socially isolated heart.

So I don't actually think this man had a beard but he checked off most other boxes. I also got Reddit just to tell of my neckbeard stories.
So I enjoy playing Csgo, it relaxes me and I love playing. I was playing casual, making friends, and having a good time. As the game ends, and we (terrorists) win, I say "GG" in chat to both teams. Suddenly I hear a "Someone shut their bitch up."
This immediately caught me off guard because yes, I'm a girl but I sound like a squeaker, a boy under the age of 13 most of the time.
My new acquaintances jumped to defend me and it eventually ended once the new game started. I thought it was over, oh how I was wrong. Every time I died I was greeted by "hey bitch you're trash" or other vulgar comments, which was funny because he almost always died first.
Finally, I just respond with "I can hear your mother calling you that your pizza rolls are done" Wish yeah wasn't a great response but whatever.
"Well I bet you're like 400 Lbs"
"yeah, sure bud"
"Well send me your Snapchat so we can talk there"
"Why the fuck would I send you my snap!?!"
"Because I want it"
Of course, after this, people from both teams just calling the guy a simp until he left. Not the most interesting story but one of the few I have.
Edits: Spelling

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This is the first iteration of a new Newbie Guide to Investing in CSGO, covering most basic issues. Some subjects are in the work and will be added at a later date.
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Before we start, THIS is a fantastic overview of CSGO Market History (until April 2019) and a must-have, including timeframes for regular and operation drops, many important events and lots of useful info, made by steamfrag

Which items can be invested in?

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Introductionary Note: Discontinued consumables (cases, stickers and basically all containers) are better items for long term investment than non-consumables, since consumables get deleted from the market when used, thus reducing their quantity over time, unlike skins which are only deleted if a user gets banned or if the skins are used in trade-up contracts. Specific skins/knives/gloves could be profitable to invest and to hold long term, if you know exactly what you are doing. But generally skins are better suited for frequent trading and not long term investing, or if you want skins to play with and more or less hold their value with some potential to go up in price. As an example, Here is a video from TDM HeyJesus from last year explaining what I mean. If you are more interested in trading with others, nice knives and gloves, etc. and not mid/long term investing, visit /GlobalOffensiveTrade
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• Discontinued Cases: You could buy 3 cent cases (or less, depending on your currency from steam market, or 1 to 2 cents from cashout sites) when they get discontinued from the active drop pool and are moved to rare drops. This usually happens when a new case is released, the oldest case from active drop pool moves to rare drops. Active drop pool usually consists of 5 cases. Be aware that cases with high volume on market will take a very long time to rise in price. You could also invest in cases at a later time, for instance after few years of being 3 cents, lower quantities on market and upwards price trend, you could jump in or even at an earlier stage when they are still as active drop but anticipated to be the next case to move to rare drops, if you're in it for the very long haul, and if you can get the cases for extremely cheap prices in bulk (1 cent or less). Some cases are much older and/or rarer than others and therefore cost more, for example Operation Bravo case. Sometimes unexpected things happen with cases, for instance Valve decided to make the Hydra Case a rare drop as soon as Operation Hydra ended, even though most people were expecting the Hydra Case to become a common drop after end of the operation and to become 3 cents for a long time. Instead, they went up in price very quickly and very high. So if you invested in hydra cases during the end of operation for 10 cents, you could have made a lot of money by now. But note that the more cases are released, the more options case openers have to chose from. Therefore the rise in price of cases might slow down during time and take longer, as more and more cases are released. This can only be countered by increasing number of players and case openers (natural demand). Last but not least, the popularity and prices of the skins in the cases will influence the price development of discontinued cases (and vice versa).
• UPDATE: Lately Valve has done some weird things like dropping a large number of older cases such as Shadow cases, Chroma 2 cases, etc. for non prime accounts. So the old system isn't that reliable anymore

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List of all CSGO Cases in Chronological Order:
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Case Name	Release Date	Rare or Active Drop
CSGO Weapon Case	14. August 2013	Confirmed Rare
eSports 2013 Case	14. August 2013	Confirmed Rare
Operation Bravo Case	19. September 2013	Confirmed Rare
CSGO Weapon Case 2	08. November 2013	Confirmed Rare
eSports 2013 Winter Case	18. December 2013	Confirmed Rare
Winter Offensive Weapon Case	18. December 2013	Confirmed Rare
CSGO Weapon Case 3	12. February 2014	Confirmed Rare
Operation Phoenix Weapon Case	20. February 2014	Confirmed Rare
Huntsman Weapon Case	01. May 2014	Confirmed Rare
Operation Breakout Weapon Case	01. July 2014	Confirmed Rare
eSports 2014 Summer Case	10. July 2014	Confirmed Rare
Operation Vanguard Weapon Case	11. November 2014	Confirmed Rare
Chroma Case	08. January 2015	Confirmed Rare
Chroma 2 Case	15. April 2015	Confirmed Rare
Falchion Case	26. May 2015	Confirmed Rare
Shadow Case	17. September 2015	Confirmed Rare
Revolver Case	08. December 2015	Confirmed Rare
Operation Wildfire Case	17. February 2016	Confirmed Rare
Chroma 3 Case	20. April 2016	Confirmed Rare
Gamma Case	15. June 2016	Confirmed Rare
Gamma 2 Case	18. August 2016	Confirmed Rare
Glove Case	28. November 2016	Confirmed Rare
Spectrum Case	15. March 2017	Confirmed Rare
Operation Hydra Case	23. May 2017	Confirmed Rare
Spectrum 2 Case	14. September 2017	Active
Clutch Case	15. February 2018	Active
Horizon Case	02. August 2018	Possibly Rare (needs more data)
Danger Zone Case	06. December 2018	Active
Prisma Case	13. March 2019	Active
CS20 Case	18. October 2019	Active
Shattered Web Case	19. November 2019	Active

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• CSGO Major Stickers and Sticker Capsules: Usually at the end of each Tournament, Valve offers a sticker sale (between 50% and 75% off normal price) in-game store. You could buy stickers and capsules during that sale and either sell shortly after the sale ends, for a small quick profit (not guarantied but happened almost every time till now), or wait longer (usually over a year) for a possibly much larger profit. For instance if you bought Atlanta Legend Capsules 2 years ago, you would have 20x your money as of today! As more tournaments are being held and more stickers are released, it is difficult for most stickers to distinguish themselves among the huge mass of other stickers. Only invest and hold on to stickers that you think are promising. The profit from stickers depends on how nice they look, how popular they are, how well the teams perform in the future and how many people invested in them (basically a combination of all these factors). Sometimes teams disband, players quit or become successful, teams/players get banned, etc. which sometimes drive up the price of the related stickers.

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• Operation Pass: Sold by Valve in-game in order to get access to an operation. After the operation, all it does is give you access to a coin which you can display (which some players like to collect). You can buy passes during operation (or possibly during a sale of the pass at the end of the operation) then hold on to them and sell at a later date. There were few exceptional circumstances such as Vanguard pass which sold well as it didn't reach as low a discount as people were expecting and wasn't on sale for a long time, so not many were bought. Furthermore, Valve stopped selling the Vanguard Pass before the operation ended, which caused players who wanted to complete the missions to buy it from the market. Similar things happened to the Wildfire Pass. The Wildfire pass didn't even go on sale which caused its price to tripple in a single day when it got removed, then rose in price even more during time.

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• Viewer Pass: Introduced with the Katowice 2019 Major, a Viewer Pass was a purchasable in-game item which gave purchasers exclusive access to an upgradeable Event Coin, Souvenir Packages, The Major Pick'Em Challenge and Unlimited team graffiti for the duration of the Major. Similar to Operation Pass, all it does now is to give you a collectible coin. The Katowice 2019 Viewer Pass went on sale for 50% for few days during the last days of the major (before the sticker sale!). Some people bought them at 50% off but some people were expecting it to become even cheaper during the sticker sale (75% off), which didn't happen, instead it got removed, thus causing those investors to panic buy. I expect that Valve will use the Viewer Pass System in the next majors too (speculative opinion), as it was probably a big financial success and a lot of passes were sold in addition to a lot of major stickers.

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• Souvenir Packages: Drops in matches during majors. Research the different packages and their skins. Cobblestone is the most desirable due to the very desired and expensive Souvenir Dragon Lore. Also Cobblestone was removed from the map pool and replaced by Dust 2 in April 2018 and was not available in London 2018 and Katowice 2019 majors, thus increasing its price even more. Recently Vertigo replaced Cobblestone in March 2019. During the tournaments, the supply of souvenir packages will obviously be the highest, but also the interest in them is the highest. Try to buy them as cheap as possible and simply wait. Generating profit with souvenir packages might be a very slow process depending on the souvenir packages you have and the volume which was dropped in the majors. Note: as of Katowice 2019 major, only Viewer Pass owners were eligable to receive Souvenir Packages and Souvenir Packages no longer dropped during matches, but Pass owners could chose a match of their choice and get the Souvenir Package for it. This caused an equilibrium in prices, since most people chose the popular new 2018 Nuke and Inferno packages and the Overpass Package, causing their quantities to be much higher than other less popular packages in the major.

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• Sticker Capsules 1 and 2 and Community Sticker Capsule: These capsules were common drop for a long time, opened with sticker capsule keys and pretty much worthless (just like cheap cases), then they got discontinued and rose to high prices reaching a peak in May 2016. Probably with a June 2016 patch, they became rare drops which increased their quantity and crashed their prices (combined with the inevitable crash after the crown foil hype). However, after an initial crash they slowly rose in price again and sticker capsule 2 is at its all time high right now (as of May 2019). I assume its also just a hype correlated to the now second Crown Foil sticker hype which could crash back again. At these price levels, invest very cautiously. Also look at specific stickers in these capsules, such as Flammable foil, headhunter, crown foil, etc. At the right prices, these might be interesting items.

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• Gift Packages: Around christmas time Valve sold gift packages for $1. If you open a gift package on a server, it awards a random player a random regular skin drop. In the past players who opened the most packages were displayed on a leader-board in the beginning of every game of every Valve NA CSGO server. This has been exploited for advertising. In 2013, people didn't anticipate that the Gift Packages are limited to the Winter months and in the following year, CSGO exploded in popularity. This multiplied the price of these packages until they were sold again in 2014. In 2014, many people expected the same thing to happen, so the supply of Gift Packages increased. CSGO exploded again, but this time the price of gift packages increased much more because gambling sites started to boom and they competed for advertising. Fast forwards, Valve eventually removed the leaderboard feature a long time ago. For a long time gift packages were even below the in-game price. Recently though (since around end of 2018) the supply seams to dry up slowly and the price is climbing again (this time probably due to natural demand from people who actually just want to gift). We can see a similar trend with pallet of presents (which gives up to nine people in the user's match a random item). There is also the Audience Participation Parcel which drops up to 25 gifts randomly to viewers, but this item hasn't done anything interesting price wise yet.

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• Skins from Cases: Unlikely to be more profitable than consumables and it is more risky, unless you really know what you're doing. Sometimes Valve changes the design or details of a skin, which could also affect the prices. Also nerfs and buffs for a specific weapon tend to change the prices of skins for that gun (depending on how severe the buff/nerf is), for instance the AUG skins experienced a rise in price after Valve lowered the price (in game!) to $3.150 in Oct. 2018 and pro players used the AUG in the major. Skins which are used as trade up fodder tend to go up in price, whenever a new case or collection is released. There are a lot of other factors which determine the price development of skins which can't be all covered here

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• Skins from Collections Exclusive to Operations: skins which only drop during operations tend to rise when the operations end. However, the more operations they have been through, the higher the total supply on market and thus the longer it usually takes for them to go up in price during the breaks between operations. The following collections were dropped during the last 3 Operations (Bloodhound, Wildfire and Hydra). Operation Hydra was the last operation we had and it did end on November 13, 2017, which is more than a year ago! Note that these skins only dropped for those who owned the operation pass for the operation. Those who didn't own the pass, got their drops from the regular active collections.

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1. The Cache Collection
2. The Chop Shop Collection
3. The Cobblestone Collection
4. The Gods and Monsters Collection
5. The Overpass Collection
6. The Rising Sun Collection

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• The Danger Zone Collection: the Danger Zone Collection was basically just one skin, the MP5 Lab Rats. Players could get the skin by reaching Prime Status after CSGO went F2P in December 2018. The skin was available for a few weeks. A lot of the CSGO playerbase got the skin, which makes it a questionable investment since there are probably a LOT out there and the gun/skin isn't that popular. Could be a long term investment nonetheless, if you start to see quantities lowering over time and some stable price action.

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• Skins from Inactive or Retired Collections: The following collections are either inactive for now or completely retired. But some of them could be reintroduced in the future.

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1. The Assault Collection
2. The Aztec Collection
3. The Baggage Collection
4. The Dust Collection
5. The Inferno Collection (The Old One)
6. The Militia Collection
7. The Mirage Collection
8. The Nuke Collection (The Old One)
9. The Office Collection
10. The Vertigo Collection

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• Skins from Active Collections: The following collections are current active collections which drop skins in-game. Usually It is not recommanded to invest in any active collections (though some old skins which are suitable as fodder for certain trade-ups see occasional spikes whenever new cases and collections are released). Also the new Nuke and Inferno Collections are popular and people use skins from them to trade-up to better skins of these collections.

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1. The 2018 Inferno Collection
2. The 2018 Nuke Collection
3. The Bank Collection
4. The Dust 2 Collection
5. The Italy Collection
6. The Lake Collection
7. The Safehouse Collection
8. The Train Collection

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• Knives: If you know what you're doing and are familiar with patterns, etc. you can make some profit. But as mentioned knives are better suited for frequent trading and simply as play skins, even though some knives like the Butterfly Knife experienced significant price rise in the past, it is usually not a good idea to use knives as investment items. For instance the same amount of money you paid for a knife 3 years ago spent in specific stickers, would have generated much more profit in the same timeframe.

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• Gloves: see knives

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• Graffitis: Since Valve offered free graffiti for the duration of the major (since Katowice 2019 major and now in Berlin 2019 major), but none for sale, it is an option to invest in all previous major graffitis. The quantities for some old team graffitis could go down significantly and thus increase the price (which it has already done).

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• CSGO Keys: CSGO keys have a fixed price in game of $2.50 and are used as currency amoung traders, and of course to open cases. Investing in keys is pointless, unless you want to park your money, or trade or cashout, or unless you can buy keys at a cheaper rate than one normally could (currency issues). There is a special situation going on with the Hydra key which crashed significantly in price after the Operation Hydra Case became a rare drop and became an expensive case. There are different opinions as how the Hydra Key price will develop in the future. Some say it will crash even more, some say it will more or less stablize at the current price levels (1 Euro), others even invest in it right now and say the price will go up again, as soon as the old supply is dried out. For this guide, I remain neutral and leave it up to you to make up your own mind about this specific key. Note: currently this key is not accepted by most traders. There are other keys tied to expensive cases such as Winter Offensive keys which are also not accepted by many traders, though they are low in supply and thus still hold a stable price on market.
• IMPORTANT KEY UPDATE: Valve made newly bought keys in shop non marketable and non tradable as of Nov. 2019. Older existing keys are not affected and can still be traded and listed on steam market. Read more here https://blog.counter-strike.net/index.php/2019/10/26113/

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• Banned/Removed Skins:

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1. M4A4 Howl (removed due to copyright violation) - The only Contraband item in CSGO
2. Dual Berettas Retribution (removed due to artist ban)
3. P90 Desert Warfare (removed due to artist ban)
4. CZ75-Auto Poison Dart (removed due to artist ban)
5. MAC-10 Curse (removed due to artist ban)
6. USP-S Orion (removed due to artist ban)

Note: Some skins were banned from a case, but can be traded up to with trade-up contracts
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• Banned/Removed Stickers:

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1. Sticker Howling Dawn (removed due to copyright violation)
2. Sticker King on the Field (removed due to artist ban)
3. Sticker Winged Defuser (removed due to artist ban)
4. Sticker Harp of War (Holo) (removed due to artist ban)

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• Removed and Reintroduced Stickers: there were a lot of other old stickers which were offered in the in-game shop of Valve and which were discontinued in the past and went up in price really high, but were reintroduced in 2016 to the in-game shop and remained there till today as random coupon offers, which caused their price crash back to around 1 Euro for normal stickers (more for the holos/foils). These sticker were the community series stickers (1,2,3,4 and 5) and the Halloween 2014 series. It is an option to buy these stickers in-game whenever you get a coupon offer and hope that some day they will be removed again, but this is a gamble. Also since these were available for a fixed price for so long in the shop, some investors might have had the same idea and stocked up on them. And the quantities might be too high for significant gains in the future. Also most of them aren't that popular anymore.

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• Current in-game Coupon Offers: each player has a coupon offer section with 4 slots with some items (sticker capsules, music kits, pin capsules, single stickers) offered. You could buy these items in-game and hold with the idea that at some point some of these items might get removed, but this is a gamble and impossible to predict and pretty much dead money until something happens. Note that whenever you buy an item from this section, the slot which you bought the item gets automatically refilled with another offer. This was not always the case. In the past after you bought all your 4 offers, you had to wait for new offers. But Valve always comes up with new ideas to make bank.

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• StatTrak™ Swap Tool: these tools are sold as a 2-pack in-game for a fixed price. People bought this, used one and sold the other one on the market. For the longest time these tools were around 10 cents on steam market which is quite a big difference to what they logically should be (half the price you pay in game). Recently they have gone up in price and reached that level. So right now, its pointless to do anything with them. If they ever go back down to those previous lows, you might want to consider them if you can get them very cheap. But keep in mind that there is max. cap of what they can rise up to obviously, and that there are better investment options out there

Other ways to profit on the market than long/mid term investing

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• Flipping Items in Coupon Section from in-game Store: You could buy stickers, sticker capsules, pins capsules and music kits when you get a coupon offer in-game. Check the price on steam market and if the price you pay in-game + steam tax is still lower than the lowest steam market price, then simply buy in-game and instantly sell on steam market for few cents quick profit. Mostly there is no or just a few cents to be made, but sometimes some offers give you better instant profit. Note: with the introduction of the EZ4ENCE music kits, Valve added a "new releases" category, which enabled users to buy as many of these music kits as they wanted as long as these were sold in this category. This means that potential investors could have stocked up on these items.

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• Trade-up Contracts: Determine if a certain skin can be traded up to profitably (consider Steam tax). If so, buy the lower level skins (either through buy orders at steam market, external cashout sites, or trading sites), and sell the traded-up skin on the market until it becomes unprofitable. This is already being done by bots and many other users. Note that the float value of the traded-up-to weapon is a function of the average float value of the traded-up-from skins. For more information and good trade-up contracts, visit the youtube channel of TDM Heyzeus. But remember that whenever a video is posted, a lot of people copy and paste the trade-ups shown in the videos making them unprofitable instantly, so it might be wise to revisit older trade-ups or come up with your own trade-up ideas. Use the trade-up calculator of csgo exchange to double check. Remember to switch the formula to calculate odds to new theory "based on outcome" (the old theory was incorrect).

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• Wide Daily Seasonality: Some items peak every day at around noon and tank after midnight (EST). If the difference tends to offset the Steam tax (15%), it can be taken advantage of. Usually, this requires a large volume to be reasonably profitable. If you engage in this technique, keep in mind that there is a scalability limit for the profitability.

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• Expansion and Contraction: After a popular game/operation/case/tournament/Steam-sale/market-bug is introduced, players try to dump their items on the market to buy whatever is hot. At the same time, buyers tend to also go for what's hot. Old investment supplies increase, and demand lessens. It is usually wise to do the opposite of the general market behavior and buy on these market crashes. When you want to sell something, it's usually best to wait until the market has fully recovered. Further, during some crashes, it might be better to wait until the end to buy-in as many investors try to buy in early.

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• Tournament Sticker Capsule Opening Arbitrage: During a period of time of some Major sticker sales, it was profitable to buy capsules from the market, open them, and then resell the stickers on the market (in the average case). Examine the EV carefully.

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• Wide Bid/Ask Spreads: take advantage if the daily bid/ask spread is larger than the Valve tax. Buy commodities that are being demanded at a much lower price than they are being listed at, then sell them back. Don't do this en masse before an expected downturn.

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• Grinding Weekly Drops: When a new case is released it can be worthwhile to accumulate in-game time in order to get the new highly-priced case.

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• Hunting for sub-variations of items: Some items on various markets have specific sub-patterns/properties that are more valuable than the usual ones (ex., 5-7 Case Hardened blue pattern and other desired knive patterns, specific signature Souvenir Packages, skins with expensive stickers, etc.) and they are sometimes undervalued (especially during market downturns).

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• Currency Arbitrage: If a particular conversion is highly skewed and Valve's adjustment is slow, it can become profitable for users in a certain country to buy items in the store or Community Market and resell them off the community market to another country. Note that using VPN to fake your place of residency is against Valve TOS and bannable

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• Listing High, Hoping for a Market Bug: List items for a higher price than their market value and hope that a Steam bug will occur where sellers temporarily won't be able to create new listings, while buyers can still buy the items, or hope that someone decides to buy heavily in one of your items and buys a lot at once

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FAQ

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How many items can I hold in my inventory?
Officially, 1000. You can list excess items on the steam market (for high unrealistic prices) and basically use the steam market as extra space. Note that the price of your listed items on market + your steam wallet cannot exceed $2000 at any given time. You can increase the number of items in your inventory and the amount of steam wallet money through some tricks. It is however recommanded that instead you simply make extra accounts and prepare them for usage as extra space and as storage accounts, if you need more space.
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How much is the Tax/Fee on Steam Community Market?
Approx. 13%-15% total for most.
Here is one in Euro by donbernie and Here is one for items under $1 by HwanZike
Yes, if you want to make Gaben really happy, sell for 3 cents and give him 2
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What are some real-money marketplaces for CSGO items?
Use all external sites at your own risk

• www.bitskins.com (UPDATE: Bitskins seams to have new owners since Oct 2019, though still unknown who they are and how the site will develop from here)
• www.skinbaron.de
• www.skinbay.com
• cs.deals
• lootbear

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I've personally used skinbaron and skinbay and had no problems so far. There are others out there like cs deals. Update (Oct 2019): I used Bitskins before they changed ownership in Oct. 2019. I am waiting to see who the new owners are (still unknown) and how the site develops, before using them again.
Also note that the most popular one, OPSkins was BANNED by Valve in 2018. Do not use OPSkins if you want to cash out from or cash in to Steam anymore. Their so called VGO Skins aren't actual CSGO skins, even though they look similar. Update (Oct. 2019): OPSkins apparently made a comeback with a P2P system without using Bots. Proceed with caution, because Valve basically sent them a cease and desist letter in the past letting them know that they aren't allowed to be associated with CSGO and use any intellectual property of Valve on their websites at all anymore.
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What is the most efficient way to cash out?
Sell the items directly at Bitskins, Skinbaron or another trustworthy site. Depending on the items, this can take a while. As an alternative you can exchange your investments into liquid items (popular skins for frequently used weapons, certain knives, case keys, sticker keys, nametags etc. - spend some time to determine which item gives you the best rate) and sell those liquid items on external cashout sites. The latter method will increase the speed at which you get money but will lose you a larger percentage. Keep in mind that BitSkins/Skinbaron take a percentage (5% to 15%), Paypal takes a percentage (~2%), and that the item values on external sites (real money value) are always lower than in the Steam Community Market. Also, every transaction on the Steam Community Market takes away 15% already. Occasionally the items on external sites are so cheap compared to SCM that it becomes worth it to sell them on SCM instead, buy keys from the in-game store, and then sell those keys on external sites again. When selling on SCM it almost always is correct to sell with an order that's higher than the highest buy order and higher than the lowest sell order if the lowest sell order is lower than recent trends display.
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What is the most efficient way to buy in?
Buy items (not necessarily CSGO only) from trustworthy external cashout sites or from highly reputable sellers with high cash rep if they offer a better deal (you can find some on /GlobalOffensiveTrade) and sell the items on the Steam Community Market. Spend some time to determine which item gives you the best discount compared to Steam Market Price. Be aware that some items such as souvenir skins, certain Stattrak knives, etc. might have a very high discount, but are very very hard to resell back on steam market, avoid these items and stick to popular items. There is a reason why they have such a high discount. Also be aware that some items might be manipulated on steam market, thus showing a very high discount on 3rd party sites when compared, avoid these items and check their market history to be sure. http://csgo.steamanalyst.com/hotdeals is one of the tools that can help you with good deals, or the deals section at BitSkins. The general rule is also the cheaper the items, the higher the possible discount. For instance you could buy very cheap stickers for sometimes 50% off, and resell on steam market. But the downside is that it takes a lot of time and effort than a single expensive item, but gives you more steam wallet money at the end. Make sure that after steam tax, you always get more money than if you deposit the money directly to Steam, otherwise this whole process becomes completely pointless.
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What are the case opening odds?
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	Normal	StatTrak
Knives and Gloves	0.26%	0.026%
Covert	0.64%	0.064%
Classified	3.20%	0.32%
Restricted	15.98%	1.598%
Mil-Spec	79.92%	7.992%

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Why did item X increase/decrease in price?
Possible reasons: CS:GO updates/balance changes/game changes/market changes (e.g., Tradeup Contract), new cases/operations (both short-term, due to opening frenzies, and long-term, due to increased supplies of skins), a famous streameyoutuber hypes an item, someone tries to manipulate the market, a AAA game is released, a tournament is taking place (CS:GO, DOta 2 etc.), a Steam-sale like Summer sale is going on, a market-bug is ongoing, the ingame drop rate was increased/decreased, legal issues about things related to the CSGO market (e.g., betting/gambling), etc.
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If I create a new Steam account, how do I transfer items to that account? How long does this take?
Create a new account, log in (via the thick client), set up your profile, enable Steam Guard, wait 15 days, and transfer the items to the account from your main (double check that it is your account). If you intend to use the thin client (e.g., via Chrome), make sure that you log in from there as well because Steam will impose a 7 day trade restriction on your account when you attempt to create a new transaction from a new device (a device meaning a new browser). Also, if you do not have mobile authentication enabled on the alt account, there will be a 3 day delay for trades. You can use the same phone number & email address for many Steam accounts. Also, Gmail forwards emails addressed to your account even if dots (.) are added in between the username characters of your email address.
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If I create a new Steam account, how do I use the Community Market? How long does this take?
Same steps as above, but you need to purchase a game that costs at least $5 or deposit $5 into your Steam wallet (and wait a month) before being able to use the Community Market. Keep in mind that using a new payment method will trigger a weeklong community market cooldown on your account.
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After buying a CSGO item from the Steam Community Market, how long do I have to wait until I can sell/trade it?
They are sellable immediately on the Market. You need to wait 7 days until you can trade them to another account. Note that items from some other games, have the 7 days cool down both for trading AND steam market (like Rust).
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How do buy orders work?
When you place a buy order, the market first looks for all the cheapest items that can fulfill your order. Then the oldest listing (i.e. the seller who has waited the longest) is selected and purchased. If the items are listed in multiple currencies, the amounts are first converted into your currency before being selected (i.e. a 0.03 RUB listing has no priority over a 0.03 USD listing). If multiple buy orders satisfy a new market listing, the oldest matching buy order will be selected. It used to be different in the past, but was changed in 2017.
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How do I create multiple listings at once on Steam Market?
You could use one the addons listed in the "useful sites and tools" section of this guide down below. The current most secure way (since no external extensions are used) is a solution suggested by u/soldture . Simply copy this link: https://steamcommunity.com/market/multisell?appid=730&contextid=2&items[]=Falchion%20Case
Change Falchion%20Case to your desired item name. This solution only works with commodity items. This also works with other games (you have to change the appid and replace it with the appid of that game, for instance Rust is 440.
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Item X hyped and is going to moon. Should I Buy?
Usually parabolic moves are followed by a crash (not always but most of the time). It is almost never a good idea to buy when something is mooning because of a video, some news, manipulation, mass hysteria and hype or whatever else. Buy the rumour, sell the news.
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Item X is crashing hard. The Market is crashing. I am shaking and panicking. Should I Sell?
Stay calm, take a deep breath and find out what is really going on and what you really think about it. As an example: there was a huge panic when gambling sites were being banned. Many people panicked and sold their items for ridiculously low prices. People were telling eachother that the skin market will crash and never recover if there is no gambling and the world is going to end. And here we are in 2019, and almost everything (including skins) is at its all time high. However, sometimes you just need to sell fast. Let's say you have a skin from a collection which was inactive for a long time, making the prices of the skins go very high, and then suddenly the collection became active again for whatever reason. Or Gaben officially tells us that he is going to do something crazy with the market which will inevitably crash everything. In that case yes, sell fast (just an example)

Useful sites and tools

Use all external sites, tools and addons at your own risk, some are risky to use, some old and not updated
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• https://db.csgofloat.com/ item database with over 100 million skins
• http://www.steamanalyst.com/ - Moving averages
• http://csgostash.com/ - All items categorized and visualized
• http://steam.tools/itemvalue/ - Value of inventories
• http://csgo.exchange/ - Value of inventories, item prices and quantities, database. trade up calculator
• http://steamcharts.com/app/730 - CSGO Player Base Stats
• http://www.hltv.org/ - CSGO news
• http://blog.counter-strike.net/ - Official CSGO blog
• https://www.csgostickersearch.com/ - search market for skins with stickers
• Software: Steam Market Watchlist - Track investments
• Automatic Account Creation - old post, use software at own risk
• Steam Desktop Authenticator - for mass confirming (very risky, defeats the purpose of mobile auth)
• WinAuth - for mass confirming (very risky, defeats the puporse of mobile auth)

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Chrome addons:

• Steam Inventory Helper - mass listing, WARNING READ THIS before deciding to use or not
• Steam Wizard - mass listing (some other functions don't work anymore or are outdated)
• CSGOFloat Market Checker - float value, paint seed, and screenshots of CS:GO items
• Better Buy Orders - see all the buy orders of an item in the Steam Community Market
• Steam Enhancer

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Useful Youtube Channels

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• TDM HeyZeus - CSGO Market and Trade-up Contracts
• eSports Talk - CSGO News
• 3kliksphilip - CSGO Updates, Skins, etc.
• TheWarOwl - CSGO Updates, Maps, etc.

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Credits
Helicobacter: FAQ 2.0 (huge shoutout, copied a lot of stuff from this FAQ, sometimes word by word)
Steamfrag: Very useful graphs and market data
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Disclaimer: The information offered here is not financial advice. We, the mod team, are just a bunch of gamers and hobby investors. Do your own due dilligence before investing any real money in to a game and do it at your own risk! Use all external links, sites, tools, addons, etc. at your own risk! Any information in this thread may be outdated at any given time. You should be mentally prepared to lose everything invested in virtual items. Valve could change the rules affecting the market anytime. Third party cashout and trading sites and their BOTS could be banned anytime. External events such as successful lawsuits against Valve, new state laws, new country laws, etc. could also affect the market anytime by forcing Valve to take measures (for instance case opening is now restricted in Belgium and Netherlands, OPSkins got banned, Gambling sites were banned, etc.). Also note that all of your items legally belong to Valve, even if you paid for them.
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Suggestions and potential corrections to this guide are always welcomed and will be added if necessary and approved by the mod team. I will try to keep this guide updated.
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Last updated: Nov. 2019

I got an idea for doom eternal dlc. It will be a new online version thats like an mmo. Everyone that plays will be an arc personal and help eradicate demons through out the realms. In order to get the powers that doom guy has (IE double jump, grenades, dash, etc) you will have to go through a slayer trial. This will be optional but if done you can create your own doom praetor suit and get the abilities you have in the single player campaign. You will be able to free roam through Earth, Nekroval, Exulita, ETC but they will be fully made and it will be like going through them in a free roam game like Just Cause or GTA. There will be special dungeons (think slayer gates) that open up for people if they do something like clear an area of demons. These will give you a special mod or something for your guns. The game will feature a currency. I think something like demons souls where players can sell these special mods for what they think is worth. sorta like csgo's economy but with no real world money at all. Only these demon souls or whatever they would call the currency. People can team up and join raids to fight dreadnoughts which will drop a bunch of rare items. People can challenge you to a deul and bet demons souls, or there can be a death match with a bunch of people. If you are challenged by someone a lower level then you and decline, you will lose some souls as a punishment, that way people cant just farm demon souls and ruin the economy, I am thinking like 10% of what the lower level player challenged you (ie they bet 100 demon souls and you decline, you lose 10) and since we already have demon classes in the game, we can use those to measure how many souls, (ie Fodder give 1, heavy give 5, etc) any thoughts on this, any modders that can make this a reality?

Ok that title was annoying to read i truly didnt know how to summarize that in 1 sentence.
So. (Yes i tried posting on NewbieThursday and the post got deleted so i'll keep trying)... Long story short im new to CSGO but have been playing online shooters for a decade and a half.
CSGO is the only game that i consistently struggle to kill people even though my shots are connecting and i hit them more. I spent like 4 hours in the training course trying to take everything in and understanding it.
I understand that tap firing is the best bet to put bullets right where you want. I understand headshots are the fastest way to kill. Unlike every other game on the planet CSGO bullet pattern is nuts. I cant full spray people and i cannot strafe left and right in gunfights cause i lose 100% of those gunfights. I have to completely stand still and tap fire to even stand a chance.
This is where my struggle comes in. I do (what i feel) is right. Stand still-tap fire-shoot head- etc etc. and even when im seeing headshots hit and blood splatter i continuously lose gun fights. ALSO what bothers me the most is that the enemy will be Full Spraying - Strafing left and right - jump shooting etc. and connecting every single shot from 10s of yards away.
So in conclusion of my experience if i stand still and tap fire head i lose every gunfight by someone full spraying and strafing... If i full spray and strafe non of my bullets Register.
I come to this Sub to simply ask.. What is the single best video for a newb like me to watch that will FULLY elaborate in detail how shooting patterns work and what im doing wrong, in a way a new person can understand and finally enjoy the game.

Arsenal Movement System Revamp
TL;DR is at the end.
Hello everyone, this is Skweeka, and I’m going to do another 3:00AM drunken rant again.
I find that many people have qualms against many projectile weapons, mainly the bows for their low RPM which can result in a low DPS output. Most people say “get good,” I beg to differ. I think that it depends more on the enemy’s movement. Arsenal has no acceleration and deceleration. There is no punishment for strafing like a mad man. Holding left and right erratically can easily throw off the enemy’s aim, without much thought put into the endeavor. This makes predicting the enemy’s future position extremely hard.
This brings me to my proposal. To add acceleration and deceleration, not just jump aerial momentum. This is implemented in many games ranging from Quake or CSGO and I find brings an extra layer of skill being able to strafe properly. This also brings a layer of predictability that is needed for people to utilize slow projectile weapons easier. I find that it’s very easy for me to dodge bow and spell shots but much easier to dish out that damage to others because not only have I learned the weapon but...
let’s be honest here most of the people playing are shit. im the “average joe” gamer at best yet i win most of my games, its not shroud aim its just roblox
the enemy’s movement is not good. Even with the stupidly broken freedom they are given in movement they don’t utilize it and get killed off easily. Being fast and unpredictable is everything in effectively going into head-to-head combat but if you add weapons that require the prediction aspect of aiming, you MUST add predictability. With the bow series, your best bet is to target people wielding heavy weapons, AFKs, people with terrible movement, but to avoid players with fast guns and erratic strafing pattern.
You see this in Quake Champions where you can predict the enemy’s future position whenever they launch themselves into the air and fire at them with your rocket launcher, which is a pretty sluggish projectile. You analyze their angle, which weapon they used to do it, where they jumped from, what was their speed before their jump, etc. etc. to then use that info to fire.
In CSGO, standing still is most accurate and strafing left to right to pause for a split second to take that headshot is a very skillful endeavor and requires learning how to counteract deceleration and how to pick up momentum fast, how long they should stand still, what buttons should they press. So much more skillful than erratically spazzing out.
You can still be erratic and stuff, but one mistake will allow people who have qualms with the weapon to pick that queue up and seize the win. No buffs to the weapon, just a change to the movement.
That’s all folks.
TL;DR: Arsenal needs more skillful strafing and more predictability. Add acceleration and deceleration to add a skill aspect while having bows do their job easier. It’s not only a matter of “git gud” but also reliant on the enemy’s “go crazy AAAAA spazz out” level too. If this wasn’t enough info then read the whole thing goddammit.
I don’t have too much of a problem with the weapon itself. I just wanted to think of an idea that makes Arsenal “better” while making some of the community happier.

Frequently Asked Stupid Questions

"is this a CoD ripoff?" This game tries to relive what CoD once was before 2008. No one is trying to fucking hide it.
"Is dis csgo in ww2?" No, just like fucking Rainbow Six Siege isn't CSGO and BF5 isn't CoDWW2.
"The graphics are shit!" Your favorite streamer is probably playing on lowest settings. And I saw no one complaining that fucking Fortnite or PUBG looks like shit as well.
"Is this game good?" It is the worst game ever. I now have cancer. Stay away from it.
"This game is so unrealistic!" Are you complaining that motherfucking chess isn't like warfare in realife?! This game is unrealistic because it doesn't try to be realistic. If you want more authentic games there is a huge library of multiplayer games to choose from. Try Rising Storm 2, Hell Let Loose, Squad, Insurgency or Arma. There is nothing like Battalion1944 on the market right now.
"needs much more recoil and why can you jump while shooting?" Because it is fun and not goddamn Counter-Strike. Deal with it that you play a different game which tries and demands different things from you and not just fucking spray patterns and recoil. There is an ongoing debate that hipfire shouldn't be as accurate as it is though (especially on rifles and ARs).
"This map sucks" I bet you've got stomped while playing this one map. Welcome to oldschool competitive shooters! You've gotta learn smoke smokes, the timings, and some angles. Back to the bootcamp! The maps WILL need further refinements. No doubt! But let the meta form and get used to the maps not being one-dimensional and like a fucking tunnel! Not a question tho
"ded game" U FUCKING WOT M8!? Not a question tho
"is dis gAmE fReE tO pLaY?" No, you'll need to sell your fucking kidney and buy this shit.
"Is this on console?" Every time someone's gonna ask this shit, the console port gets delayed.

THE MOST ANTICIPATED MOST INSIGHTFUL MOST PAINFULLY COMPREHENSIVE PRESS POST OF THE ELECTION CYCLE IS BACK

Evening y'all. Due to Mika being busy and Shit being a Masshole, it's fallen to me to do the Cuck Political Report. Shit did most of the work but now I have to post it; kinda like how I did all his work for him as Dixie Deputy Clerk :D As always we'll get predictions and analysis from anonymous Senior Party Officials from the four parties. Yes four, the lolbertarians don't count.
Let's get started!
Shame on the dems for not having analysis, we all know Mika would've!!

National Overview

Party	House	Senate
Democrats	Coalition Majority	Coalition Majority
Republicans	Coalition Majority	GOP Majority
Bull Moose	Coalition Majority	Coalition Majority
Socialists	Coalition Majority	Coalition Majority

By District

Race	Democrat Analysis	Republican Analysis	Bull Moose Analysis	Socialist Analysis
AC-Sen	[insert competence here] Soc	I'm not entirely sure what came over Dewey when he called for the murder of billionaires, tried to declare war on Russia, impeach two SCOTUS justices, and fund Republican insanity care; maybe he was trying to lose? He debated very well and called Gunnz out but never came up with an effective defence for his more controversial actions which the former Speaker rightly pounced on. A slow day 3 for Gunnz might represent a failed opportunity to put this one away but I think in stunningly close fashion he'll emerge as the victor. Lean GOP	God I hate this new calculator. Gunnz, a decent campaigner but a less-than-decent legislator, managed to overcome a 15 (!!) point deficit to keep this race close. After hammering Dewey in debates on a stupid soundbite versus the actual issues, a quantity-over-quality debate performance (see a pattern?) could tip this race to the GOP. However, Dewey has been known to win nailbiters in the Northeast, so I'm going with my gut and calling Lean Soc.	Dewey and Gunnz both campaigned hard, but in the end, it looks as if Dewey's campaign events were overall higher quality, as was his debates. Even if the MoE was against him last time, then debates brought him higher either way. Lean Soc
AC-1	[insert competence here] BMP	Initial polling no doubt gave the sitting Speaker cause to worry as he faced the man almost single-handedly responsible for the GOP's AC Assembly win. However, as he often does, he rallied hard and vigorously outcampaigned his surprisingly inactive opponent. By the final day the race was no longer competitive. He'll buck the trend of Speakers losing their seats and will cruise to a comfortable but not too comfortable win. Likely BMP	Shitmemery was running scared after seeing initial polling, which is why he didn't fall victim to a huge no-campaign debuff. Luckily, a devastatingly strong campaign coupled with an inactive opponent allowed him to come from behind and run up a high score. Solid BMP.	House launched a solid campaign, for somebody new to the sim going up against the speaker of the house, it was an impressive run, with the race being somewhat close at times. However, House and the BMP pulled ahead in the end, for a cozy 10 point lead in the previous poll. Solid BMP
AC-2	[insert competence here] Soc	The former Republican lightning rod of controversy continued his unusual style of campaigning, including some bewildering debate responses. But he worked extremely hard just like his opponent to keep one of the closest races in a historically bouncy election close as can be. The debate will give Pacman the narrowest win of the evening. Lean GOP	New York just can't seem to shake PGF. Despite a completely uninteligible debate from both sides, PGF's sheer quantity of events should overcome the questionable quality enough in order to give him the win. Lean Soc.	PGF and Pacman were made for each other. This race was a very close one, with polling showing either candidate winning at times, never a large difference. I believe that maybe PGF has the slight edge, but it really is a tossup. Lean Soc
AC-3	[insert competence here] Dem	Two largely inactive campaigners battled it out in a nice and respectful campaign, showing that politics doesn't need to be nasty. The playbook was standard with them both mustering the time to put out 4 events each on the final day, all of mostly respectable quality. The nice guy battle will end in a GOP win, just because I'm biased and Lynx had a small edge (52%) going into the final day. Lean GOP	After a few terms on the list, Speaker_Lynx seems poised to come back to Congress with his old constituency to represent once more. Polling always tilted towards the GOP, and coupled with a rather anemic opposition from the incumbent Dem, Lynx should cruise to an easy five-point win. Likely GOP	This is a close race, but polling and the debates have shown that GOP have the definite edge here. Lean GOP
CH-Sen	[insert competence here] BMP	I appreciate how friendly and cordial this race was. One of the most moderate Republicans faced off with an equally moderate Bull Moose, such that they had little disagreements with one another in the debate. Brain brought his A game and worked overtime not only for himself but even managed to sneak in some events for others. Srajar did all he could against my predecessor as Chairman and slowly ate into Brain's lead as he turned on the jets. This one will be close folks, but as the results come in I suspect the BMP will get their second Senator. Lean BMP	Hey Prelate: SUCK IT! I had a whole line of attack planned for this race painting srajar as someone who hops from office to office without getting anything done, but turns out I didn't need it because Brain started with a 20 point lead. While Srajar did a lot to narrow the gap, Brain finished strong with a pounding debate response and should bring Chesapeake's other Senate seat home for the BMP. Likely BMP	Srajar is a strong candidate, but so is Brain. Srajar seems to have accepted his loss come the senate debates, when he gave shorter and less answers than Brain did. It was in that moment Brain won the race without beyond a shadow of a doubt. Solid BMP
CH-1	[insert competence here] GOP	The "Republican of the Month" famous for winning Flash his first ever race (that he promptly resigned and gave to p17r) probably expected to keep his head down and ride to a win with that same work ethic. He brought it, but unfortunately for him ran into RJM3AH who went blow for blow with him and outcampaigned him on the last 2 days by one event. A hard race to call but p17's slight polling lead coupled with higher quality events gives him the edge. Lean GOP	p17r, despite having me debunk 90% of the sources he listed as not actually being related to porn as a health threat, decided to copy-paste the same laundry list of sources into the Chesapeake debate thread. I love quality debates! p17r was an active Assemblyman and polling supports that he will come out on top. RJM kept the margins close with a quality campaign but unfortunately that likely won't be enough to bridge the gap. Lean GOP	p17r polled consistently better, and in my opinion had a better debate performance. It's for this reason that they have the slight edge. Lean GOP
CH-2	[insert competence here] BMP	I like history, so two former Chesapeake Senators battling for a House seat is neat, especially since it was the same seat that Kbelica took after Prussian was banned. In a tremendous disappointment, what started out as a close contest wasn't by the end. Kbelica's disappearance after day 2 and no-show on the debate stage blew an eminently winnable race. Safe BMP	Kbelica decided not to run for Senate due to trouble staying active, but instead decided to run for House where he still has trouble staying active. An anemic campaign from the GOP turned a marginal seat into an easy cleanup by Kaiser. Likely BMP	Similar to the above analysis. Prussian has polled better, but not only that, Kbelica seems to have completely forgotten to show up to the debate. I would be surprised if Kbelica won, especially under this new calculator. Likely BMP
CH-3	[insert competence here] Dem	Dixian turned Chesapeaker Froggy started with a large polling lead but was playing catch up to Cdocwra before he knew it. A critical no-show on day 3 and being outcampaigned on day 4 will be just enough to carry Froggy to victory in a race he very well could have lost. With two of the highest energy BMP campaigners (Brain/Kaiser) in the state routinely helping others, one wonders why they never diverted resources to this race? Was it because Cdocwra was the lone Democrat running in CH? We may never know. Lean GOP	ModelUSGov's favorite Brit manages to stave off another GOP opponent, with this race being much closer than the last. Quality events (sadly no singing this time) and a dominating debate will let this race stay in the D column. Lean Dem	Cdoc takes this. He had a consistently better campaign, higher quality campaign answers, and gave just as good debate answers as Froggy. He should take this. Likely Dem
DX-Sen	[insert competence here] Soc	In contrast to LN Senate, this was my turn to be disappointingly shocked as I was convinced Dexter was bulletproof. But Cold, with the full might of the coalition behind him and his record as a prolific bill author, seemingly did the impossible and made Dexter look human. He campaigned hard and unleashed a torrent of activity that would've swallowed almost anyone. I think Dexter had the better events in the end and a dominating debate performance that will give him the heart attack of his life as he inches out a win. Lean GOP	Two of the most active legislators in the sim duked it out in the most entertaining spit-swapping makeout match of the cycle. I don't know who deserves the seat more, but neither of them deserve to lose. I predict that, after an early edge and a strong debate, Cold will bring this one home for the Socialists. Lean Soc	This is a close one, it pitted two polar opposite, active, party leaders against one another. The race started with Cold in the lead, and the Socs defended their lead throughout the entire race. The debate period was heated, and I think that Cold won it handedly. Remember, Dixie was once a GOP stronghold, I think that this race further shows GOP weakness in Dixie and that the DX senate seat is going to be a better shade of red this election. If I were Prelate, I would be concerned about reelection next federal. Lean Soc
DX-1	[insert competence here] Dem	The leader of the Republicans in the Dixie Assembly started out behind and was never able to mount any semblance of an effective or involved campaign. His fellow Assemblyman BNG took no chances and kicked this dead horse until there was nothing left. A no-show on the final day for BNG won't be nearly enough for Tajec, even if he had managed to debate. Safe DEM	BNG Continues his streak of carrying the Dixiecrats with another resounding win. The GOP rightfully didn't even try to contest what is likely the safest Dem seat outside of GL. Safe Dem	No question about it, this one is obvious. Borednerdygamer is one of the Democrat’s best campaigners, and he opened with a massive amount of personal state mods but also had the coalition bump as well. With other races being far close, it seems the GOP didn’t bother with DX1, resulting in a definite win for BNG. Solid Dem
DX-2	[insert competence here] GOP	Ever see Clash of the Titans? If you say you have and didn't follow this campaign you're lying. Two giants of Republican and Bull Moose politics gave it everything they had and put on one of the most impressive duels in sim history. If you wanna know how to campaign and/or debate, this race should be your gospel. Flam's slow but steady approach and rising polling will carry him to a win but Allen shouldn't be disappointed, he would've crushed virtually any other player in the sim. Lean GOP	Allen started with a solid lead but got whittled down hard by the GOP's most likely candidate for Minority Leader. Only in Dobs' America, folks. This'll be another nailbiter, but I think Allen will have staved off Flam when the dust has settled. Lean BMP	If we were using the old system, I would say lean BMP. Jamawoman, the current BMP chair, put up a strong campaign, and it was obvious that the BMP put through the maximum effort required to win this seat. That being said, the GOP showed up too. Flam is the Minority Whip of the House and a sitting member of the RNC. Flam campaigned and debated well. I think that the BMP will gain this seat, but with a new election system, I cannot be sure. Toss-up (Lean BMP)
DX-3	[insert competence here] Soc	I think this is the race that woke everyone up to how different these elections were. Dr0ne dropped 29 points in one day (!!), the largest polling change ever recorded in the history of sim elections. The race became very tight with both sides waging what seemed like a personal war against one another. I want to personally thank Centrist for his remark about rigging elections, we sure made a mountain out of that molehill. At the end of the day, this one is too close to call. Toss-up	While the Socialists didn't have a dynamo as capable as Cold campaigning this time around, this race went a little under the GOP's radar despite a day one lead. The Socialists picked up the slack and rebounded, so this race is Likely Soc	This is one of the Socialist’s original House seats, and it is one that Party Secretary Cold did not want to lose as it was his seat. Without knowing the true nature of the current system, the GOP gained the lead on day 1; however, they were out campaigning every day after. The Socialists will retain this district, and the future looks bright for Dixie Socialists. Lean Soc
DX-4	[insert competence here] GOP	Poor Frosty just can't catch a break. Going from a heartbreaking loss to blockdenied to a battle against a hardworking and thoroughly competent campaign run by someone I've never heard of before; where did he come from? APG put his nose to the grindstone and outcampaigned Frosty 3 days out of 4. Will he inflict the next heartbreaking loss to Frosty? Unfortunately for Chris I can't predict that he wins, but fortunately for him I can't predict that he loses either. Toss-up	It's okay, Jarl, 1 in 4 American men have trouble finishing. While this race won't be the 10-point wipe that constitued the last Governor's race, Jarl will still come up a bit short on votes after being outcampaigned by an eager APG. Lean BMP	Again, with the new system, it is quite unclear to me how this race is going to go. Both candidates put forth the same amount of effort in both events and debating resulting in a close race. I personally think that the GOP will ultimately win this seat, but again, with this new system, I cannot be sure. Toss-up Lean GOP
LN-Sen	[insert competence here] Dem	I, and probably everyone else who doesn't have a dial tone where their brain should be, was convinced the somehow PPT was a dead man walking. Coming off a landslide loss for Lincoln Governor that must have snapped him out of it, he worked tirelessly to hold a GOP seat in our worst state. Slowly but surely he ate into Sam's lead until he was the one ahead in the final poll. Sam had a better debate performance that I think will pull this race back to even. Amazingly, what I would've bet the house was Safe not GOP 10 days ago is a Toss-up	I HATE THIS CALCULATOR I HATE THIS CALCULATOR I HATE THIS CALCULATOR I HATE THIS CALCULATOR. Sorry, lost it for a second there. This race shouldn't have been anywhere near close. DDYT campaigned poorly after six months of sitting on his thumb on the Senate floor. But here we are. Lean Dem because I think I might genuinely quit the sim if this race goes red.	DDYT is the incumbent, imo had better campaign events, and had only ever so slightly worse debate performance. It's not certain by any means, but I think he has the edge Lean GOP
LN-1	[insert competence here] Dem	A race featuring one of two only active Libertarians of the election is just as close as the polling suggests. Kingmaker (who apparently abandoned Dixie to go to Lincoln, a move as head-scratching as West Berliners defecting to the East) worked hard and outcampaigned Tucklet on 3 out of 4 days, building a small polling lead that I just don't think Tucklet did enough to overcome. It'll be close, but King will eke out a win. Lean Dem	Poor Tucklett can't catch a break, but I really have no sympathy for him. The only winnable race for the GOP in GL was swept away by a subpar campaign, which is strangely emerging as a trend from the party largely seen as the best campaigners. Lean GOP	Tucklet put up a strong campaign for someone banned from the sim for quite a long time, but I think kingmaker overall has the better campaign, and in a state like Great Lakes, it would be near impossible for a republican to win. Lean Dem
LN-2	[insert competence here] Dem	Top started with a big lead and then decided to play prevent defence and count on it to save him. Unfortunately, Kyle didn't take advantage of the gift-wrapped opportunity and was similarly absent. His fairly inactive campaign won't come close to taking down Top, who rallied late when it appeared he might be in a bit of trouble. The only interesting thing about this race is questioning why the Libertarian polling consistently at 0% decided to do 2 events on the last day. Likely Dem	There's really nothing interesting to report here. A stellar Dem candidate curbstomped the Republicans. Wish I could've typed this 17 more times. Solid Dem	This one isn't close, Kyle stands no chance and TopProspect put on a good campaign, not being challenged by a serious opponent like Tucklet. This combined with party mods is a solid win. Solid Dem
LN-3	[insert competence here] Dem	Remarkably similar to LN-2, the last Democratic Speaker of the House started with a nice lead and perhaps playing the old campaign playbook took it easy. His opponent didn't take advantage just like Kyle and gave Ben the time to alter his strategy and run an effective and high-energy campaign on the last two days. He'll win by a safe margin and this does down as another one the GOP probably shouldn't have, but could've won. Safe Dem	There's really nothing interesting to report here. A stellar Dem candidate curbstomped the Republicans. Wish I could've typed this 16 more times. Solid Dem	Exact same analysis as GL-2, in all honesty. Solid Dem
LN-4	[insert competence here] Soc	Tiger, amazingly for a Libertarian, actually put in effort and ran a respectable campaign. Not nearly enough to win, but when your fellow party members were mostly off picking their nose, it's a low bar to clear. The race ebbed and flowed between the two real competitors and while I think csgo had better event, he was outworked on all 4 days. The very small polling lead of fox will be just enough to pull him across the finish line. Lean SOC	Despite choking hard on Day One, the Socialists weren't discouraged and continued to chip away at the Republicans in the most sparsely populated district in the contiguous US. Once CSGO started going, he couldn't be caught by the GOP. Likely Soc	Bottled_Fox led a good campaign, and put out more events than csgofan, most of them being of similar quality. In the debates bottled_fox performed solidly, and it would be somewhat of a shock if he lost, especially with the difference of the event count and the emphasis the new calculator has put on that. Likely Soc
SR-Sen	[insert competence here] Dem	I have never seen two candidates who both wanted to win as badly as Zairn and Ibney, I'm not kidding when I say someone should watch them when results start coming in. Both exhaustively prepared for their rematch and didn't disappoint, dumping literal walls of text on each other in debates and authoring entire codes of legislation in the lead up. A critical day 3 error by Ibney made this race way closer than it needed to be but I think in the end he wins this round of Zairn v Ibney. His unique campaign coupled with specific and pointed critiques of his opponent in the debates will be just enough. Lean GOP	There are waaaaay too many close races this election cycle. Did you know that over 50% of House races in America have a margin of over 10%? Why can't we get that here? This race is truly going to come down to whether or not the graders prefer Yu-Gi-Oh or Ouran High School Host Club. If I had to call it though, I would give it to Ibney. Much like Dixie, though, both of these candidates would make stellar, active Senators. Lean GOP	As much as I want to say that Zairn will win, this race is without a doubt a tossup. This rematch between Ibney and Zairn pitted the two proud weebs against each other once again. Zairn easily defeated Ibney in a YuGiOh match, but will that translate into an election win? The only thing that we can be sure of with this race is that both candidates are men of high culture and taste, and Ibney has good taste in anime as evidenced by his spoof of Ouran HighSchool Host Club’s opening. (Toss-up)
SR-1	[insert competence here] GOP	A beyond weird race that featured huge polling swings (Prog dropped 28 points in one day) and a complete lack of activity. Maybe the Socialists couldn't have won even if they tried, but running a literal paper candidate didn't even have the effect of distracting Prog who responded with only slightly more energy. I can't begin to fathom why the Vice-President showed up at the last minute to help someone who was I guess too busy in MHOC and AustraliaSim. If Prog loses this, we should all nuke the sim. Safe GOP	The Sierra GOP really bucked the nationwide trend, and good for them! The Socialists didn't seem to try very hard here, and the SRGOP took no chances when it came to posting event after event. For now, Sierra shall remain a beacon of free market politics. Solid GOP	As much as it pains me, AMN did not show up to campaign or debate. The new election system gave the socialists some sense of false hope as they jumped in the polls to put the race into a dead heat; however, by not showing up to debate, AMN all be conceded the election. Hopefully in future elections, these polling discrepancies will be corrected. Solid GOP
SR-2	[insert competence here] GOP	In the debates BOOM asked Cuba if he was deceased, Zairn hilariously said what we were all thinking and replied that it was a valid question. Cuba was nowhere to be found and for what it's worth BOOM could've been running against a basketball with a smiley face drawn on and faced a tougher challenge. Why Hurricane bothered to do two events for him is beyond me but it represented a waste of resources on a candidate that invesigators are still determining if he ever existed. Safe GOP	Only in a simulation could you have a starklky-red California, but here we are. BOOM didn't have the best campaign, but he had pretty decent mods and an inactive opponent. That combo is enough for him to rack up a big margin on election night. Safe GOP	As what happened in SR1, a candidate did not show up to campaign or debate. Boom was already a strong incumbent in the race, but by not campaigning much and not debating, the Democratic candidate all but conceded the race to the GOP. If the Zairn loses his race, the once Democratic stronghold is in danger of becoming a new Republican land, Sierra will be an interesting state to watch next state elections as I am sure the Republicans will put in every effort to win in the state. Solid GOP
SR-3	[insert competence here] Dem	Panda had the lead and never looked back, slightly increasing it each time and racking up points in the Sim equivalent of NFL garbage time. Doing 5 events for all 4 days against an inactive opponent might seem crazy but it's always good to be careful I suppose. He'll easily win PresentSale's old district. Oh yeah, PS was here and despite a debate question about himself, didn't show up. Maybe he was recording a very long episode of Heartland? Safe DEM	A rare spot of blue in an otherwise red wave in Sierra. Panda campaigned harder than any other Democrat in his state, and luckily for him managed to run in the district that is the chink in the GOP's armor. More events and a stronger debate performance will easily send this race to the Dem column. Likely Dem	This is the only safe Democratic spot in the race. The GOP did not invest enough into this race early resulting in an early lead for SirPandaMaster. Both candidates gave comparable debate performances, but the incumbent Democratic looks safe to win this race. Lean Dem
SR-4	[insert competence here] GOP	Give Astr0 some credit. He had a huge polling lead and didn't entirely sit on it, always managing to at least show up. When the former Sierra Governor who was removed from office did tighten the race with a surge in the last few days, Astr0 didn't shy away and messaged me endlessly about his campaign. He adjusted his strategy, met the challenge, and will sit as the Representative of America's by far least populous district. Maybe he'll be able to see Russian rocket launches from his house? Likely GOP	Astro is probably the best designer the GOP has, but as the past has shown that doesn't always lead to a good campaign. However, this election Astro was able to run away with posters alone and secure the bag for his Party. While it is not his preferred district of SR-2, a seat is a seat and he'll take it fine either way. The Democrats made a decent comeback towards the end of the campaign, but unfortunately for them it won't be enough for a majority. Likely GOP	The GOP had the lead early and kept it throughout the race. Bandicoot, Astro, is one of the GOP’s best campaigners, and it showed in the race. Despite efforts by the Vice President, I do not see the GOP losing this one. Lean GOP

 

House Prediction Maps

Democrat Analysis House Map
Republican Analysis House Map
Bull Moose Analysis House Map
Socialist Analysis House Map
 
That's all folks

So one of the biggest issues I've seen with ranked, well two biggest is there is NO level restriction. In itself doesn't seem harmful until you get into the nitty gritty of it all. Ranked is suppose to be a MORE competitive scene is it not? Then why is that you can be level 10 and jump right in? I can bet my emo pants from 2005 that not a damn soul after playing this game for 10 levels is ready to jump into ranked matches. This needs to be implemented like other games and require a much higher level cap. I understand you want everyone to feel welcomed and what not but it's ranked the whole point is that your suppose to work to get there and then work to climb the ladder once your there. This is just open to whoever willy nilly downloads the game which is probably one of the dumbest ideas I've seen so far in any competitive game and I've seen quite a few things.
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Another thing this would ALSO help with is hackers. It's obviously a free game (duh) so once (if) they do get banned they can quite literally be back into ranked within maybe 20-40 minutes from the time to create a new account to hitting level 10. Obviously a bit exaggerated but it doesn't take very long to hit level 10. It's close to the hourish mark I'd say give or take (with a hacker probably exactly or less than that.) Adding the level restriction makes it so they have to at least hit level X to join. This allows a lot more time to catch them and get them banned before they join into the ranked/competitive community of the game and ruin it and everyone quits as usual until it's fixed up a bit. It just works for both sides of the coin here not sure why it wasn't thought of from the very beginning.
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I've posted this on the actual forums which was probably my fault since more people are active here and see things here. Now for the prime membership this I don't expect as much for multiple reasons but nonetheless here it goes. I'm sure most or quite a few of you guys know about CSGO (Counter-Strike Global Offensive) before they ruined what they had going for a bit they had a Prime membership that required a phone number (the game itself was already $15) this helped tone down the hackers albeit not very well since numbers are easy to get a hold of via apps. However using this model could probably charge a one time fee for a prime membership + add phone number <---this part I know you guys are already working on but this part has easy work arounds so it isn't the most solid part but it does help. At least this way you guys can profit off the hackers if they choose to keep making new accounts. Obviously with ANY of this implemented there would have to also be massive ban waves either right before or after it goes into affect just to lower the overall number from the start and work from there. At the beginning you really have to hunt them down like dogs which will kinda ruin it for most of them because not many are going to keep dishing out that money.
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This unfortunately leaves the problem of them still being all over the casual games and with level restrictions if you added those would be a problem for some new players. But since you guys are working on something to ban off red flags soon I figure it wouldn't be the worst case scenario considering the current situation.
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TLDR: Add level restrictions for ranked to prevent completely new players joining they should be practicing on casual more than 10 levels. Also stops hackers from creating new accounts and jumping into ranked almost immediately. Prime+phone number to further improve the hacking situation overall.

Attention OS X players: you may experience crashing after this update. Please provide dumps here, which will be passed along to Valve after a few responses.

Via csgo_servers:

MISC

• Reduced latency of voice audio.
• Community servers now can show viewer counts when players are streaming their match.
• Fixed regression in Deathmatch Bonus mission evaluation.
• Fixed a Deathmatch exploit where players could maliciously cause the server to run out of entities.
• Fixed buymenu's Accurate Range weapon stats being computed incorrectly.
• Fixed AWP viewmodel rendering when zoomed.
• Added flavor text to Arms Deal Case 1 and fixed typos in previous flavor text.
• Positional sounds spatialize to within 15 inches of the player and no longer "spread" to stereo when nearby.

MAPS

• Major changes to Cobblestone

Bombsite A:

• Made bombsite A courtyard smaller
• Removed spiral stairs at back of bombsite A
• Pushed forward side-balcony at bombsite A, making it easier to check corners before jumping down
• Added a static door to entrance to connector from bombsite A
• Shortened battlement in long A, making it easier to check
• Raised wall around bombsite A slightly, to give some cover when out in the open
• Added additional cover in bombsite A
• Removed balcony at CT side of long A
• Added an additional chest-height wall at A ramp
• Removed large boulders in A site

Bombsite B:

• Made bombsite B courtyard smaller
• Rerouted T main entrance to bombsite B
• Made it easier to throw grenades into B site from a safe position as T
• Added some cover on T platform in bombsite B
• Moved bombsite B more to the middle of the courtyard
• Flattened ground at bombsite B
• Removed back of B area
• Hut at back of B can now be shot through
• Added a static door to entrance to bombsite B from connector

Other:

• Removed stairs and overpass route from dropdown room
• Widened upper dropdown passage
• Added a ramp to dropdown to make it easier to peek into lower
• Players can now jump up via flowerbed in connector to get into dropdown room
• Removed walls in T tunnels
• Removed CT sniper room
• Added a static door to CT side of water room
• Tweaked layout of water room slightly
• Removed double window room near T spawn
• Moved T spawns forward a bit
• Added a direct ladder to T sniper tower
• Various optimizations
• Increased player visibility
• Fixed a bug where very few chickens were spawned

Rumor has it:

• Here are some of the first images of the Cobblestone changes, courtesy ashzx: http://www.reddit.com/GlobalOffensive/comments/2ute41/counterstrike_global_offensive_update_for_2415/cobht63
  
• Here's the flavor text added and fixed: https://github.com/SteamDatabase/GameTracking/commit/9f8a98e565dc1d557580c455fa2766bdc739c490
  
  • Also, since there was a bit of confusion on this with the last update: "PaintKit" references aren't really paint kits. They're the skins you all know and love and bet with today.
• Size is ~45 MB
  

- I once had a tennis ball roll to me on the school court yard. I panicked and completely missed the ball with my foot, from that day I've had an irrational fear of tennis balls.
- There was this one time, that I attempted to subliminally message my uncle into giving up smoking.
- I once visited my friends house for the first time in secondary school, this friend of mine was telling me about his theory, that if two intelligent people play tic tac toe, it will always be a draw. I then of course in typical Jake fashion lost the game.
- My mum once called the police and told them I had been kidnapped after forgetting to check further down the street.
- My family and I have "meme Sundays" where I show them the memes of the week.
- The first time I ate pistachios my parents forgot to tell me that you need to REMOVE THE SHELLS. I THOUGHT PISTACHIOS WERE JUST A TAD CRUNCHY.
- I used to refuse going anywhere without my healies, as a result I ended up wearing them to church on multiple occasions.
- My family must have thought I was a very weird child, as until and till the age of 14, both my family and extended family bought me packs of batteries.
- My friend was once told to sing in music class, his face went extremely purple as he started to cry, effectively dubbing him the beetroot guy for the rest of the school duration.
- My dad has become known as "the half job nelson" after starting projects such as decorating the bathroom and then leaving them half way refurbished. It once took us 3 years to decorate one small downstairs toilet.
- i have an uncle who tells random titbits, regardless of who's (or if anyone) is listening.
- I was at uni for a year before having a drug induced psychosis and being diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
- I've played piano since a young age and have got to grade 6
- My dad worked at my school when I was growing up
- I passed out in a computing class once.
- One lunch time I convinced my classmates that I had a game on my calculator, but in actual fact just used a bunch of maths symbols.
- There was a school tour guide at our school opening who actively told parents that the school was rubbish.
- I've been using anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and sleep medicines for the past 6 months.
- I used to hack Minecraft servers
- I used to make flash games for my friends at school
- My sister used to have an imaginary alter persona known as Blee, who was given his own mii character.
- I have the most loving family anyone could ask for (you can't change my mind)
- I'm the house's tech guy as I have a degree in rebooting router.
- I've made many projects, one in which I tried to recreate J.A.R.V.I.S, to a very poor standard.
- My parents bought me a pet snake for Christmas, I've was promised one for good GCSE results, but never took them up on the offer.
- I have two floors to my room, albeit small rooms.
- We used to own golden crested newts which are now an endangered species.
- I've tried to commit suicide many times by many different methods. it appears to be one things I'm REALLY bad at.
- I wrote a piece on Neural Networks for my public speaking.
- I've recently realised that I'm bisexual.
- I coded my auntie a website for her art company.
- I used to get so high on weed that I couldn't even talk
- As it turns out, this auntie once ate a weed browny in Peru
- I have a sentimental attachment to technology and never though anything away.
- Whilst on holiday my sister got an infection and came up with bumps and bruises. I told her that we would have to leave her behind, she started crying.
- I have strangely excellent hearing and can sometimes hear people talking about me through the walls.
- I have a loving supportive family, and they bought me a book on the substance DMT for Christmas.
- I am very spoilt
- I have fed a manatee grass.
- The house we bought our kittens from a real life crazy cat lady who's house was infested with kittens, the whole place stunk of cat dung. The friend I had brought to this woman's house then gave the crazy cat lady a hug,
- I made racist internet friends who I would verbally abuse me daily whilst we were playing video games.
- I was paranoid for a month straight after being shown the Truman show by my parents.
- one holiday i was holding a shit in so long that when I eventually needed to go, I did a poo so big it wouldn't flush.
- whenever my sister needed the toilets I would make water fall noises and talk about water.
- People used to mistake me for a girl when I was a baby.
- I once skipped lectures for a whole month and replaced it with smoking weed and ordering Chinese cuisine.
- I was asked to edit a clip in high school for a short film called "what if apple never existed"
- I used to teach piano to people
- We once saw a poisonous from whilst staying in Guyana.
- My best skill is keeping the teacher talking about their personal life in order to avoid working.
- My attention span only lasts give or take about 0.015 seconds.
- My physics teacher revealed to us that he had recently watched Minecraft trolling videos.
- I've been skiing, my favourite sport is badminton.
- I don't remember my first kiss as I was black out drunk. I was told that it was a light peck, followed up with me being sick on the rug.
- I have asthma and hay-fever.
- Myself and my sister always wanted a baby brother growing up.
- I have the weird ability to accurately estimate when my food is done without checking the timer.
- I made a google home device for my A2 coursework before it was released.
- My dad used to race stock cars when he was younger.
- My university is 7 hours away from my house.
- I'm studying Computer Science but want to change to Sociology or Psychology
- I know the majority of information regarding drug safety.
- I used to play club penguin
- I once got bullied at a festival for having tatty shoes
- I made a bet with a friend for his phone that I couldn't catch a bunny rabbit
- I was bullied at high school by a boy named Tyler.
- I was moved out of my first school because I wasn't developing fast enough
- I've recently made friends with a super chill, transgender lad
- My uni flatmates once played a prank on me, where they pretended to go to sleep, but instead hid on my balcony, making strange noises.
- Another time my flatmates hid in my cupboard and spring out at me.
- I once tested to see if the tooth fairy came without telling my parents in order to see if there would still be money.
- My mum came from Sri Lanka and my dad from Guyana
- My 8th year classmates once turned the clock 2 hours early, leading us to be let out of the lesson, after the teacher realised her mistake she sprinted back down the corridor saying "come back!"
- I learnt Russian (to an extent) to communicate with other people in the game CS:GO
- I made a flappy bird clone for my university coursework.
- My dad's birthday is on April the first.
- My first console was the PSP Phat, and my favourite game was Gript Shift. My parents decided me to surprise me with the console just as we were taking off to another country.
- I used to play a mystery game called Spy fox, my mum completed the majority of the games for me, as I couldn't read yet.
- We kept a cattle prod taser in my room for when friends came to my dorm room. We played a game called shock for shock.
- I've played the piano at Disney world Paris to 3 people. I've also played underneath the Eiffel tower.
- My favourite cuisine is sushi
- I once got led to believe that I scored a point in rugby, but as it turns out I was running completely off the pitch. I ended up going head first into a bush.
- I used to be friends with someone at the end of my garden.
- I've built my own PC when I was 14 (it's not that difficult).
- Once as a skinny kid I sat on the swing and the ropes just broke as I fell to the floor.
- My dad would tell us that our brains would rot after we watched sponge bob square pants for 8 straight hours.
- When I first got into gaming, my mum told me that it makes you less sociable, she wasn't wrong.
- I once kept leaning back on my chair during class and annoying a kid behind me. When he finally had enough he pulled my chair back and the table fell flat on my head making a dull thudding noise. The smallest trickle of blood came running from my head. When I got to A&E my head was wrapped up with a massive bandage. When we went in to see the doctor, she took off my bandage and found the cut so funny she couldn't do anything but laugh. I had a massive bandage around my head for a small 2 cm cut.
- I once started singing and doing an extremely strange dance to myself in the mirror. To my shock and horror I saw a younger school kid just staring me in the face.
- My mum allegedly cried when watching Bambi for the first time.
- I once ran into a stick my sister was holding on top of my dad's shoulders in the dark. Fortunately we had a family friend who was a doctor camping with us. He told me that I scratched my cornier, when visiting A&E I told them this, and they were very confused at my knowledge.
- My dad bought my mum a SNES as a birthday gift, it has been her favourite present for many years.
- I once unknowingly put my hands into a wasp's nest while walking along a pier, the wasps were not happy.
- I once went against my flatmate in a shot for shot, and as my flatmates had been on my Facebook account earlier announcing it, my mum saw the post and started to get worried.
- I once asked my dad how they made objects out of air, after seeing a glass worker make an ornament.
- One month I helped out at a local charity.
- I'm a reverse closet nerd
- I once drank orange juice and then was forced to brush my teeth by my parents.
- I once had my taxi stolen by my flatmate who was posing as me. When I tried to knock on the cab's window he looked at me as if I was drunk.
- I once ran a botched computing club
- Myself my dad and my sister had a game called Fire wo wo woh, burning wo wo woh, in which you attempt to get a rubber ball in the fire place.
- I spent an unholy amount of time playing the game "Professor Layton" on my mum's DS.
- I shit with no clothes on, always have and always will.
- People started asking my dad for a hair cut after seeing the botched job he did on mine.
- I used to go upstairs to a studio room at lunch times and listening to tunes with friends
- I built an app for my team when entering the Cisco red button challenge of 2013.
- We used to own a pet cat who started meowing at my parents whenever I was crying
- My first word was light
- I'm simultaneously somewhat smart and a complete moron, something something quantum physics something
- I used to be an alter server at my church
- I'm black
- When I was younger myself, my sister and my friend decided to build a bridge out of sticks. Each day a guy came back riding over it his bike, we attempted to put acorns on the track to "burst" his tires. On the third attempt I got really upset and chased him back to his camp ground where here went to hide in his tent. I told his mother about what he had been doing and made him apologise to us.
- I've been on two long boating holidays
- I was once diagnosed with Arrhythmia of the heart, I convinced myself over the following week that I'd need a pace maker.
- My biology teacher once gave his pet fish medicine.
- I nearly got into a fight outside a chip shop for repeatedly poking a guy whilst drunk, until my friend stepped in and politely asked him to go away.
- I once participated in big fun, it was an event in which myself and my friends went to a children's creche play area on adults night and wandered around like we were children.
- I made a new friend and went to his house, I had uncontrollable farts all night.
- A young family friend of ours asked my dead if he "slipped on a banana", after he had an accident whilst playing badminton.
- I entered the mii plaza and was delivered a nazi hitler wii character.
- I once persuaded my teacher that our german exchange students were Spanish. He then said hola to the german exchange students.
- I cried on my first day at middle-school for getting a centure.
- Apparently I told the younger kids at my primary school my words of wisdom, which were if you get to the playground first you get the tricycles.
- I had my tonsils removed after getting tonsillitis.
- When I was younger I slowed down the Alvin and the chipmunk songs to listen to them in the original singers voice.
- When I was younger the show, "the shiny show" seemed to give me a migrane every time it was aired.
- For most of the social gatherings at middle school, I avoided them by saying I just made plans at the last minute.
- My english tutor hated JK Rowling because he allegedly insulted his wife.
- I started following the Yogscast at the time when they were still making Shadow of Israphel
- I made a somewhat strange compilation of scenes 10 years ago in which I had a Dalek and a Cyberman form a romantic bond.
- My favourite and first episode of Doctor Who was Madame De Pompa dour
- I attempted to create a full size replica of K9, but stopped after cutting the wooden base to size.
- I played a messenger in our school production of Shakespeare, in which I mumbled my lines and ran off stage like I was about to cry.
- My music teacher always let me sit at the grand piano, making me even more hated than I already was.
- Even maths mechanics lesson I use to blurt out random answers and got them wrong 80% of the time
- I used to share black eyed peas songs with my friends back when I was using a Nokia phone.
- I once participated in a competition in which we had to create the best protection for keeping an egg safe when chucked out a third floor window.
- I have 2 cats despite being highly allergic to them.
- For every school mufti day bar one, I wore school uniform to school.
- I once had my teacher do some dodgy work with my braces as they were causing me to bleed.
- I once had 4 teeth removed, my mother came in but was immediately squeamish, I found this funny and watched her leave again.
- I once climbed onto the roof of the campus building opposite my balcony.
- I first watched Rick and Morty when I was Ill and thought it was the best thing ever. I've come recently to hate the tv show purely due to it's fan base.
- I once got really mad people were pushing me in the changing room elbowed the air, hitting my friend Charlie in the face.
- I choose my particular university because I realised there would be drugs, as it was a port to sea.
- I cried during the ending scene of Short circuit, when the robot was running out of power.
- When I was younger my dad came into my room to me passed out on my bed looking up pictures of Emma Watson.
- My cousins introduced me to the I GOT GREEN BEANS POTATOES TOMATOES soundtrack.
- I once had a restaurant visit in which I made a face using two wine corks for chubby cheeks
- I once told my family I would meet them at the restaurant, as I had just started a CSGO match. My mum was not impressed when
- I once started selling selling the sunflower seeds with my friend for a amazingly priced £0. Our new business venture was put to a stop after one kid got an allergic reaction as a result of eating sun flower seeds HE KNEW HE WAS ALLERGIC TO.
- I once created a 4 way chess board, invited four people to play, and didn't tell them the rules.
- Most nights of my childhood myself and my dad would sit up in the attic playing Super Mario Bros 3, each time we'd lose our progress because we switched the Nintendo machine off.
- I found out Santa clause wasn't real when my mum was telling our family friend about how cheap she got my present. I later revealed this information to my sister, ruining her childhood as well as mine.
- I once built a portable hacking machine that performed a man in the middle attack
- Myself and my friend invented a country called Alyamania complete with a dictionary and own national anthem.
- I have a dog, 2 cats and a snake, although they don't seem to get on very well.
- I used to watch little cook big cook with my mum and we would make meals together.
- I used to keep two separate diaries, one for centuries and one for merit, as a result I was never put in a detention.
- I am planning on building a vivarium for my snake with two watch out towers connected by a bridge.
- I created a meme yesterday that got 5.0k views.
- I once had a asthma attack whilst running as a replacement, followed by the next day I slammed my hand in a door and my dad locked the car before. The nurses asked my dad if we were seeing any social workers.
- I once got knocked over my Borris Johnson
- I tried research chemicals and couldn't walk for 2 weeks.
- My dad has driven over my toes with his car because "i was being slow".
- I once stopped a guy from falling down an elevator.
- I participated in NCS
- I got Alcohol poisoning the first night I went out drinking and woke up to my two parents either side of me. I needed holding still by my dad so I could go for a pee. The ride home felt like a rollercoaster from hell.
- My parents met each other at Mc Donald's
- I once attempted to fix a go kart's missing axel with sellotape.
- My sister and I created a non-functional Rollar Coaster ride in which we put up a bunch of strings and attached a cardboard box.
- I had severe depression and suicidal thoughts at university. My friends would knock on my door every day and come into my room and sit down.
- Every time my dad left the room, I'm load up Minecraft instead of studying for my GCSE exams.
- I once went scuba diving in an indoor swimming pool.
- I hid in my sisters room more than 20 times in order to jump out at her.
- I attempted DOFE but was left behind by my group, and told them to "go on without me". I later sheepishly dobbed my team in for leaving me in the middle of no where.
- I once won an iPod nano in a raffle after explicitly telling my parents I didn't want to go.
- I used to create PayPal accounts when I was younger and created a new account each time my current account was maxed out.
- Whilst waiting for the meals to come in a restaurant, I'd often play square/dots with my mother.
- I changed my mind on the course I'm studying and switched from Computer Science to Psychology (not confirmed).
- In primary school a gender haired kid called Louis asked me if i knew why we had ball sacks, then promptly told me it was to keep your dick up as you pee.
- When I had nightmares I'd go and sleep in my parents room.
- I had an irrational fear of the dark
- I once stopped talking to a girl for a whole summer holiday because she was distracting me from playing CSGO.
- In my first Minecraft world I built a castle with some friends. The stairs kept catching on fire, my friend told me that happens sometimes. Years later he came forward telling me that HE was the one setting the stairs on fire.
- I have over 2000 hours in the game CSGO.
- I was a prefect at my middle school but took into school a badge that said "perfect" from hawking bazar, and got demoted of my prefect badge.
- I once did a whole project on golden crested newts found in my garden, my project got an A.
- During our short film "What if apple never existed", we recruited the theatre lighting guy who set us all up with explosives. The explosive was understandably extremely underwhelming.
- I once had to call an ambulance for my nanny after she started having a fit.
- We once had a house abroad that was infected by 1000s of ants, we could see them marching under the door.
- My sister was born 3 months early.
- I have never been to a funeral.
- I participated in the cult, the beavers for a short while.
- My parents taught me to gamble at a mere age of 14.
- The best burrito I had I bought in kingston which contained chips.
- I have a lot of ideas but never do anything with them.
- I once found a small snake in a car park, and after being told to let it go by my parents I secretly gave it a kiss.
- We found a bird with a broken wing, we attempted to make it a sling before it's unfortunate death. We wrote the bird a tomb stone with chalk.
- A long time ago I used to have a friend called SkyLordWolfMan, my parents would constantly make fun of the fact I was saying that name for a whole summer.
- I've played piano at both my aunties and music teacher's house
- When I put my hand up in class when my dad was a teacher my dad would always pretend he couldn't see my hand.
- I stayed at school almost every day for my whole high school experience as my dad had to finish off some "late work". It's strange but his work must have involved beer because I could always smell it.
- I once went up to a teacher called Mrs. Jelly, and said "are you feeling wobbly today", fortunately she didn't hear.
- I was once hit in the balls after trying to help with a coconut game.
- I once took a orange cartoon full of vodka into the uni library in order to prepare myself for a presentation. As it turns out I was 1/2 an hour late for the presentation and it had already finished.
- I childishly made mock flamethrowers using a deodorant can and a lighter on multiple occasions at university.
- My first band was Clean Bandit, the clean bandit before they went mainstream.
- When I was younger my parents took myself and my friend to a concert, we both awkwardly stood there without moving for 5 hours, the woman on my left kept nudging me with her elbow, which really hurt.
- My grandad used to be a grand master chess player until his recent departure about a decade ago. I never actually met him, so found it hard to cry with my mother when she was mourning him.
- I used to read Captain Underpants and Alex Skyrider as a kid.
- I once came home with two odd shoes, we spotted it on our way to a restaurant, and the people behind us started laughing.
- On one Geography field trip instead of doing my coursework, I found a bug that allowed me to message all the other workstations on the network. People found it VERY annoying.
- I was once auctioned off to the school for charity.
- I once participated in a band performance where I couldn't feel my fingers.
- When I was younger I had a business venture in which I decided I would rent out a whole
- I had this brief period in my teenage years where I was addicted to making puns.
- My cousin once fell in the pond as she mistook the sea weed for grass.
- I used to run a web show with my sister and her friend where we made a shot for shot budget rip-off of I-Carly
- I once made myself sick as a kid to get out of doing an exam
- I'm a recovering 9gagaholic, this one I'm really ashamed of.
- I once left my phone recording my food whilst telling my flatmates not to steal any. I came back to a video of my flatmate sheepishly deciding over which piece of chicken to take whilst my other flatmate stood still
- One halloween I dressed up as the Cliche Slender man.
- I once had a full blown panic attack whilst in an interview at Maplins, needless to say it didn't go too well. As it turns out this shop has just gone out of business, it's a shame because visiting was my favourite place to go other than Mc Donald.
- I used to have a paper round, but instead of walking, my dad drove me around each street like the lazy fucker I am.
- The first time I played Minecraft I was sent into the nether by my classmates, following this, they broke the portal leaving me stranded in the hell world. I ended up not playing the game again for about a year later.
- I've been to Bletchley park 7 times.
- I've had upwards of 8 quad copters but broke each one.
- My last quad-copter's death was as a result of me demonstrating to my friend how you would lose control of it.
- I used to have this really cool robot that could do back flips. My dad took it into work to show everyone and broke it. When we went back to the shop instead of getting the same toy, they told us that the toy had been discontinued and we would only get a cash refund (resulting in me getting no Christmas present for that year)
- When asked to draw a picture of myself in primary school I added my sister into the drawing
- My earliest memory is driving around the french alps listening to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by the Beatles.
- My dad once introduced my mum to a pyramid scheme.
- At the end of a night of clubbing, a lad helped me take my friend back to the flat, then lectured both of us 3 hours on joining his pyramid scheme.
- A girl in my university dorm got upset with me for writing her name on the birthday list. She scribbled her name out and later that day someone else came along and wrote it back on the wall.
- I once fell off a tree and hit my head, could not move for 5 minutes. Felt different ever since.
- My piano teacher gave up on me because I wouldn't listen to anything she was saying.
- I used to ran a Minecraft server in which I'd get donations for in-game ranks.
- I once came up with a plan to infect the internet's VPS servers with viruses.
- When I was younger, my PC was remotely accessed by a hacker, during a session of Minecraft. After sending me attempts to
- I enrolled in a french class and managed to learn a staggering 5 words in french, including bonjour.
- My flatmate once nearly burnt the house down cooking bacon.
- My mum brings coffee up to my room in the morning.
- I wake up to my dog licking my face every other day.
- My mum once came in a snow ball rolling down the hill
- I used to think using XD was the trendiest thing in the world.
- I was once asked to run a power point slideshow for my teacher as I was the "tech guy". I showed almost every slide early and ruined every question of the speech, needless to say I was never asked to run the PC again.
- My family and I used to play Wii Party almost every night
- I made a game for the people at my school in which you had to avoid teachers and get to a checkpoint.
- I dream of going sky diving and visiting India in the future.
- For a short period I thought I had autism
- For a short period I wore glasses because I purposely blurred my eyes, I wanted to see what it was like.
- I've got almost perfect 20/20 vision
- When I was younger I had a whole month of depressive mood after coming to the conclusion that someday, my parents will die. Going through Existential nihilism is tough when you're a 10 year old kid.
- My favourite movie is Ex Machina.
- When I was younger I got offered a job at Maplins, only to have my application denied half a decade later.
- I once made a quiz about my home country, Guyana for my class.
- Our project in middle school was to create a wooden frame and do a puppet show for the lower school kids. I spoke to my partner and she said I could keep it in 2 years, she never got back to me.
- I used to host a spy club named SpyG with some close family friends and sister. SpyG was short for "Spy Grownups" as we'd both plant recording devices to listen to what they were saying and taught "potions" classes, which consisted of mixing a bunch of household cleaning products. Inspiring!
- I once stopped someone in a corridor and started singing "stop stop, being so hard on your self" in an incredibly camp and dramatic sounding way.
- My first music event at school was a Beatles concert, my dad had setup.
- We had guinea pigs until a day where I forgot to bring them back inside and they went missing.
- My cat once brought in a dead mouse, and kindly left it in my shoe for me to explore in the morning.
- I bullied my sister into letting me take the cuter kitten, only to find my kitten hated humans.
- My middle school teacher once started a rant about how "you probably all think I'm a terrible teacher". I said yes under my breathe and was sent out immediately.
- We had a Latin teacher who told us to go speak with his elevator, Elma when we did something wrong. Additionally he frequently sent his students to "Siberia", which in actuality was just a cold part of the corridor outside the class room.
- I once went to a school of disabled kids and read them books with my friends.
- I once skipped a GCSE exam to edit my band's auditions.
- I once cried at the breakfast table in front of my parents because the comedown was so bad.
- For a few hours I was a professional DJ.
- I once kept a tech support scammer on the line for a total of three hours during my GCSE exam week.
- I'm able to hold my breathe for a total of 3 minutes.
- I don't have a favourite colour
- I have always and will continue to take the explosion papers out of the Christmas crackers before anyone can get to the table.
- I had a brief period where I would only use words that an 8 can be added onto, such as m8, r8, gr8, f8. One of my Christmas presents was titled "get rekt m8", this bring back many cringe-worthy memories.
- I once electrocuted my room's door handle using a piece of foil, a wire and a shock pen from Chessington world of adventures.
- I wasn't socially aware up until a few years ago.
- I remember one Christmas my parents bought me a tooth brush which came along with a space man video game on a disc. I thought it was the best thing in the world.
- I predicted trump would be the president a few months before he was announced. I shortly did the same with Brexxit.
- My auntie voted out of the EU, because she just "wanted to see if she could do it".
- A silhouette of me peeing was once seen by my family who were waiting in the car. When I came back they were all laughing at me.
- I once excitedly asked my parents if I could unlock the door whilst on holiday only to have the key break in half in the lock. sad!
- On the first day of university I broke down crying in front of my new pal outside on the balcony about how shit I thought university was going to be.
- My mum accidentally mentioned Adolf Hitler at a Jewish get together, and everyone fell silent.
- I started my second school without any friends and finished it without any friends.
- I once had a psychotic dream that the cleaners at my uni were planning on killing me outside my room.
- When I was younger, I wrote a story ending with the line "and it was all a dream", the teacher was not impressed
- When my dad was at uni he played a prank on his flatmates in which himself and his friends use
- My dad used to have an Afro.
- When I was younger I was sat in my friends car with his mum. For some reason she then decided to tell my friend that
- I did 99% of my homework in the 5 minute change between two classes
- I once made a joke ripping on a weighty dude saying "don't give it to him he'll eat them all" about a bag of Christmas sweets.
- I had a phone but no sim card for the majority of my life time.
- One time I woke up to a hangover and ended up buying 20+ paintball tickets to boost my mood.
- My dad was constantly labelled as officially cooler than me at my middle school
- My mum begged me to watch The Matrix, after viewing she said it wasn't very good.
- There was a teacher at my last school who taught German and hated me to much he told a whole other class my grade in an attempt to inspire them.
- We once stole our neighbours blow up snow man and left them a ransom note, the kids were not happy!
- I've never had a girl/boyfriend
- We hid a hidden camcorder between the two fridges at my uni because someone kept stealing food.
- I almost once drowned at sea, fortunately my new french friend carried me back to the sure.
- I have a Sound-cloud track with 25,000 plays.
- Once my dad belayed me up a climbing wall and on my descent I decided to jump off the wall, he went flying into the air as I'm heavier than him
- During my primary school days, I invited a girl called Georgia over to play on the Wii with me. I ended up leaving her to play club penguin with my friends, she spent the rest of the time playing Wii Sports with my mother.
- My favourite show growing up was fairly odd parents.
- Growing up I used to own a Tamagotchi and a PDA (which was very recent at the time)
- A teacher at my school once asked if we could go to a red light district on a school trip.
- I used to own a very poor quality Facebook group
- A few days ago I had a dream that I was being sucked out of my body into the after life.
- I've played at two weddings, these being my music teachers and my aunties.
- I was once in my towns local news paper for playing the piano at Ronnie Scotts, despite my performance being terrible.
- I was once the only participant in a school trip, it was plastered with long awkward pauses
- I'd give people climbing lessons and tell them what "rank" they were.
- My child hood memories are all off playing crocodile clips on windows 98
- I knew about Apple wireless ear buds a few months before it was released as I was doing work experience at Artemis, a investment funds manager.
- My teacher constantly called me a hypocrite and when I asked what she meant she said look it up.
- I got a reply from 3kliksphilip on one of my videos
- I once caught a guy stealing usernames and passwords using a phishing site, and he got taken into custody. I was invited to a Code breaking event but turned it down.
- I once setup the school theatre to play Super Mario bros 3 on the big screen.
- I was once described as "shady, but in a wholesome way"
- I once went off peace while skiing and ending up skidding down a hill into a tree.
- I once annoyed my mother so much that she started throwing the beef jerky she had bought for me all around the train platform.
- My sister was once hosting a party and a single tomato dropped on the ground. My mum came into the room, saw this and was very upset.
- Once I ate watermelon and came up with a rash, my parents couldn't believe this and made me eat watermelon the next day, I had another allergic reaction
- I used to play Minecraft with Steven Moffat's son.
- My friend's uncle is a famous scientist, I once met him at a family friends get together.
- When younger my parents asked me to count up to 10, I counted the numbers by pointing at my fingers, my parents asked me if I could count any higher and I counted with my fingers again, but this time putting my hands above my head.
- I once brought a random guy who I thought was my flatmate's boyfriend to my flatmate and connected their hands. They were both very confused, I later explained this story to her and she found it hilarious.
- My dad was once stopped whilst belaying me on a climbing wall by this really over-eccentric, dramatic guy, who rushed in like he was a super hero and took over, he was very happy with himself that someone had made a mistake.