Betting slips - OLBG Sports Betting

Roland Garros : Aviator Adventurer? Or Mythical Dragon? Let's look at the facts.
1) Pokemon named the dragon looking pokemon Garrados (or something like that). Where did they get that idea? hmm
2) If you rearrange the letters in Roland Garros you get Roslan's Dragon, so the real question is was Roslan an aviator? because clearly Roland Garros was not
3) Many people dispute the realness of dragons, but have you ever been to France? If not, I promise you they had dragons
4) 4
5) Where did people even get the idea for airplanes from? Answer : from dragons. Dragons are notoriously good inventors, ever heard of fire? hoarding wealth? let's be honest, humans are just dragon wannabe's
Here's some tennis :
Djokovic Berankis : Quick standard work from Novak in the first round. No one looks more perfectly effortless than him when he’s in control. Berankis did well to surprise the lackluster Dellien even though clay isn’t his best surface. Dellien will likely be off the tour next year without some major grinding on the challenger tour. This next matchup looked good for a while at the USO but will be a similar result and a faster one on clay. Djokovic in 3.
Galan Sandgren : Cam Norrie and Galan played one of the worst 5-setters you could see if you were betting on either one. Nonstop exchanges of multiple games and no one could really sustain offense. I had thought Galan would run away with this one as he’s such a specialist but Norrie (when he wasn’t making errors) had control here and was the only one who could really change the direction of the ball or serve aces. Just the same scorelines but completely different play in the Sandgren and Hurkacz match. Sandgren hung around in the first set even though Hurkacz was dictating. It appeared fairly obvious that Sandgren’s plan was to hang in rallies and not go for much, hoping for errors. When Hurkacz managed to get broken at the end of the first it began to look like that was a solid strategy.
Sandgren was constantly serving at duece, facing break points in so many service games, and genuinely did not win this match at all. Hurkacz will need time or a new mental approach, because he’s losing matches due to errors, and this is a baaaaaad thing on tour because so many guys strategy when things get tight is to “try hard hope to earn errors”. When you’re known for making them guys try harder, and then you’re in the rare prison of supplying all the offense to a match. Guys like Federer can play 3 sets of offense, most of the tour is going to need to play error-free tennis so that their opponents are forced to at least go for something. Sandgren turned the tide in the 4th and 5th and Hurkacz began facing break points in all his games. The heavy ball Sandgren hits translates to a slightly more annoying pusher style, as he can kinda go for big targets and rely on pace/weight of shot to earn the point.
This next matchup opened at -195 for Sandgren and I tend to disagree. Sandren played an exhausting match but has gone through a number of deep runs at majors before. He’s not mercurial by any means on clay but he’s been working very hard the past few weeks to get his game together. Where Hurkacz has the weapons to really hurt Sandgren, Galan relies more on work ethic and simple consistency to unseat opponents. Barring fatigue, I don’t see Sandgren losing this, and he’ll have ample opportunities to break. His movement isn’t as good as Norrie but his offensive/service game are world’s more reliable. Sandgren in 4.
Garin Polmans : Garin and Kohl played a pretty good match, and Garin’s returning was what really got him over the finish line here. A lot of deep placement kept the times Kohl broke him from becoming a major issue, as he did have his chances. Garin is a player who thrives on flow and the more matches he wins the better he performs. Polmans, well, Polmans partied all over Humbert today. It was one-sided from start to finish, with Humbert just reflecting the ball and Polmans driving it. Fatigue could be a suggestion, but if you look at the guys who came from the ultra-fast courts of Hamburg they all struggled early in their matches. Humbert is not quite the physical talent that Rublev and Tsitsipas are so he wasn’t able to turn the tide, but they all found their timing around the 3rd set. Humbert’s mom is still cool, and he still has a bright future. If you like Polmans’ wacky hat and vivid celebrations on court (he seems almost like he’s about to start awkwardly breakdancing while celebrating/lamenting shots), him notching a win at a major is great for his ranking.
Garin is a better Polmans. I don’t consider Humbert’s demise a total implosion, and Polmans will be involved in this contest, but Garin is a player who usually loses to bigger weapons, and while Polmans moves the ball well he isn’t overwhelming. He can win a set or two because Garin is still in somewhat a daze from Hamburg, but I think Polmans will play Garin into a rhythm and Garin’s precision tend to improve as he strings games together. Garin in 4.
Vesely Khachanov : Vesely is starting to look like himself. Originally the inspiration for some Geico commercials, his transition to tennis has been brilliant, and his serving combined with the fact that he’s a lefty mean his game gives him an edge against most lower-tier players. Khachanov was one of the better comeback stories you’ll ever see in a straight set win. Majchrzak led by a break in every set and just couldn’t keep it together. A hint of future brilliance, but again his biggest issue is not being able to distance himself from his opponents in matches. Once Khachanov buttoned up his errors when he was down a break, it became difficult for Majchrzak to win rallies. I expect something similar in this tie with Vesely.
Vesely’s backhand has been the side that makes errors during neutral rallies, and for a guy who crushes the ball this represents a big target. Vesely will need to serve well to have a shot at this, and while matches between two big hitters tend to never go in straight sets, Khachanov and Garin looks like an inevitability. Khachanov in 4.
Bautista Agut Balasz : I’ve never seen someone look so dominant while getting beaten down. In the first set RBA was broken at love multiple times. Gasquet hit a number of unreal winners down the line with his backhand and worked to earn points with 20 shot rallies over and over. He led 5-2 at one point, but RBA had barely missed a shot to that point, aside from a few backhands into the net. Gasquet was emitting a quality of sweat I recognize as deep deep swampwater, and I know when things are that humid that comebacks are not in the cards. Gasquet lost the 1st set tiebreaker and was just about done. Gasquet is French for something, and while he’s out of the tournament here, he certainly has a neat backhand and a cool name,
Balasz was one of the cheapest and most straightforward options of the day, and Uchiyama never really put up a fight. Balasz has an interesting game and is worth watching, but his tournament is likely over. Gasquet was brilliant in the first set and still only won 9 games. The heavier balls and slower conditions mean RBA has a tough time hitting through the court, but the flipside is it’s very difficult to find points against him. Balasz may confuse him for a while, but errors will come as he forces shots. RBA in 3-4.
Pella Carreño Busta : Busta busta busta, I made you out of clayyyyyy. I know Pella’s name is first but I was just so relaxed watching PCB play his first round. He really comes into a match with a complete gameplan and sticks with it no matter the scoreline. Unpopular opinion : I don’t think he was going to lose in any fewer than 5 sets against Novak in NY. When he’s fresh and not making backhand errors it becomes extremely difficult to beat him, and for a guy whose somewhat regarded as a defensive player he steps into the court and unloads for winners whenever it’s possible. He is what Sandgren is trying to be.
Pella and Caruso played what must have been a depressing match for Caruso fans. Endless rallies, great quality tennis, but no real way for either player to find clean winners. Matches like that are difficult to watch because your neighbor will hear 3 hours of grunting coming from your apt and also because you know a few random points at the end of sets are going to decide things. Pella won those points, and though he was down early breaks he looked like himself for the first time. I’m glad I announced he has a terrible injury; I now know how to summon top play from any opponent.
I don’t know exactly what to expect from this matchup. They’ve traded some wins on hardcourt, but have oddly never played on clay. PCB’s movement/stamina are the biggest differences between him and Caruso, whose game sort of broke down as things progressed. Pella certainly played well, and even in a losing effort he’s going to make you play a ton of balls. The edge has to go to PCB given their recent forms, but his proclivity for going to duece means this could go the distance. PCB in 4-5.
Struff Altmaier : Struff and Tiafoe, or Struffafoe as they’re known from now on, played a pretty good quality match. I once again feel Tiafoe needs better coaching, as he was winning a fair number of the baseline rallies but insisted on playing dropshots. They cost him this match. I don’t know a nice way to outline that winning on tour just isn’t easy. The mental lapses are always going to cost you at a professional level, but Tiafoe has shown great improvements following the tour’s break, and you can’t just summon the type of resolve/focus that Nadal has. It’ll take time.
Altmaier (whose name is super annoying to type) beat Lopez in straight sets but these two pretty much started every service game at 15-40. It wasn’t great, but the conditions were such that Altmaier was able to take deep return positions and frustrate Lopez into forcing offense. A good win, and the comfort level may be a bit higher here against Struff, which should benefit him a great deal. Playing on tour in a major after grinding the challenger tour is something that gives you adrenaline you just don’t need at times, so a bit of comfort is a plus. I see a lot of recent wins for Altmaier but he hasn’t really played someone the caliber of Struff, and Struff’s loss to Coria troubles me but in a 3/5 format and after the good quality rallies him and Tiafoe had, Struff should be able to find an edge here. Struff in 4 or losing because he’s Struff.
Harris Berrettini : Popyrin really struggled on serve at times, and didn’t seem like he’d been playing enough clay leading into this match. Harris seems to get most of his points on tour in the majors, which is interesting for such a young talent. Berretini beat Pospisil like he did something, and there’s not a lot to say about this next matchup. Harris is a great server but lacks consistency. Berretini in 3.
Medvedev Ramos-Vinolas : Oops. The strangest thing about Medvedev’s loss was how early he started complaining about it. Halfway through the first set he was down a break and already fullscale yelling at the sky/his box/local squirrels/some children/the moon/the ocean/a rock/some guy. It reminded me of Novak’s wild frustration early against PCB. These guys shouldn’t be stressing so early in a match, but I think sometimes they know the writing is on the wall and the thought is too much. Fucsovics is not really a household clay name, but he stayed composed and got the job done here. Medvedev just forced shots here over and over, and it’s strange because his serve works fine on clay and his defense is good enough to really grind points.
ARV vs Mannarino on clay is like Mannarino vs ARV on grass. These guys have such specific styles that they really can’t overcome a surface disadvantage. ARV is the sort of test that Medvedev should have been for Fucsovics once he went down a few sets; very solid defensively, doesn’t give you much to work with, and works multiple shots to earn points rather than just hoping for a W. I tend to think Fucs is up to the task, and while the “going to disneyland” notion creeps in after a big win, Fucs has had enough “almost” situations against the top 20 that notching a win won’t change his game. Both should be fresh for this one and it should be a clean, crispy tennis match. Fucsovics in 3-4.
Giron Monteiro : So many matches went to overtime this first round. Both Halys and Giron were up a break in the 5th set, which is a much different feeling from Monteiro’s day. Thiago (which is the coolest name in the draw) added to Basil’s woes, breaking early and often. He just came off a finals appearance at a challenger a week ago and continued his good form. Giron represents a tough test because his speed/forehand are a gamechanger at times, but he’s unlikely to get the job done unless he gets an early lead. Monteiro tends to get out to quick starts and is a brilliant frontrunner. I give Giron a puncher’s chance, but can’t really think of a way he can win unless Monteiro’s backhand completely falls apart. Monteiro in 3-4.
Lajovic Anderson : When I picture these two I always think of them sitting across from each other wearing black turtlenecks and evilly stroking cats. Lajovic had a pretty tough time with Mager, who crushes the ball and is a good indication that Anderson’s hitting (during the rally at least) won’t be too much of an issue. Djere refused to hold serve in this match, and that’s a bad decision to make against a server. They played much of the first stretch of their match in light rain, and Djere seemed visibly upset heading into the break. I would say this was an empty victory for Anderson, but he served well and he at some point, will find his former form since he’s not exactly too old for the tour yet. I feel the same about Nishikori but the question of when is a difficult puzzle if you’re not in his camp.
Being conscious of your biases in assessing matches is a useful tool, and I’m aware that I’d never be backing Anderson in this one with Lajovic in good form. Due to this, Anderson having actually beaten Lajovic on clay two years ago in Madrid makes me think this is going to be closer than I’d normally expect. Anderson at full health gives him a slight nod. Lajovic on a decent run gives it to him here. I wouldn’t bet against Anderson here, but Lajovic in 5.
Davidoch Fokina Rublev : First time watching Mayo and he has a really nice game. Good power, good forehand, pushes the pace well. He was up early in the 1st but once errors crept into his game it slipped away from him. There’s a big key in professional tennis and it’s being able to maintain a level throughout a match, even if it means playing slightly less than your all-out game throughout. Fokina is very solid and very comfortable. He seems like win or lose his expression will remain the same, and that’s more confidence than indifference. Rublev played one of the more difficult first rounds, as anyone who expected Sam Querrey to come out firing that well must have six magic 8-balls hooked up to a super intelligent iguana flying along a slip-and-slide on it’s way to Narnia. Querrey is a scary guy when he serves well and his forehand is a thing of useless beauty. Ruvlev/Tsitsipas/Humbert all seemed like their timing was poor early in the matches and Rublev was the first to turn it around.
Fokina would win the first two sets against the Rublev from the first two sets. There’s no intimidation factor and his backhand/movement are rocksolid which is good since that’s the thing Rublev attacks the most. I think this is a tighter contest than oddsmakers are predicting but Fokina’s ability to hit winners during these baseline rallies is something I think will be absent. Earning errors, fine. Winning neutral exchanges at net, I definitely think so. Finding his way out of baseline rallies without Rublev errors? Idk. Rublev in 4-5.
Shapovalov Carballes Baena : Shap played one of the least inspiring first rounds of the heavy favorites, trading breaks and looking at times like he wouldn’t be able to find the effort to hit through Simon. Simon was happy to move the ball around but really couldn’t find 1st serves at any point in the match. It was not a great match which makes the next round interesting. RCB had some injury concerns for me going in but eclipsed those, beating Steve Johnson 1, 1, 0. For those of you not familiar with tennis, these are not good scores. RCB represents the opposite version of Simon’s game. He is dynamic, has multiple names, and hits with pace. He doesn’t serve aces but he puts his 1st serve in at a good clip, and although Shap should win this matchup almost all the time, his struggles against the pusher style of Simon in the first round make me wonder how much patience/resolve he has left after a month and a half of nonstop tennis. Shapovalov is not the -660 favorite that he is priced at in the books, and I’d avoid this one entirely unless you’re looking at RCB or the over. Shap still did break almost at will, so I’ll give him the slight nod despite his issues holding serve/hitting the ball over the net. (for those of you not familiar with tennis, hitting the ball over the net is often an effective strategy) Shapovalov in 4-5.
Martin Dimitrov : Maybe there’s something about Tuesdays that make me nervous about upsets, but this is an interesting contest. Dimitrov is -700 in this one. I also think he’s playing great ball lately, but that is not the correct line. Dimitrov is a big market and people haven’t heard of Martin so it lands this way. Sousa didn’t particularly do anything wrong in his opener against Martin, except for doing each thing you could do wrong once. He just looks unlucky out there. He’s hitting well at times, but just seems to find an error or unfortunate way to lose the point over and over. Martin, on the other hand, was crushing the ball. He hit clean winners time and time again on Sousa’s second serve, and I think that while he isn’t expected to beat Dimitrov, his ability to generate offense during baseline rallies will give him opportunities in some spots.
Dimitrov rolled Barrere, but he served at duece in a number of games. Barrere is a nice hardcourt player, but really hasn’t won too many matches on clay. It became a perfect situation for Dimitrov, who looks great when things are going well. Martin is the type of player that clay tends to produce; not a dominant guy or a title-winner, but someone who is very comfortable with their game and who isn’t too troubled situationally (similar to what we saw from Munar today competing against Tsitsipas without too much mental duress). If this were 2/3 I’d like Martin. In 3/5 I think Dimitrov will have ample chances to break serve, and so will only lose in 5. Martin in 5.
Milojevic Bedene : Upset of the first round for Milojevic. He hit the ball solid and was proactive about his shot selection, hugging the baseline and taking time away. Krajinovic really never had a chance to breathe in this one and as a player who refuses to move off the baseline, Kraj made a number of errors on the backhand trying to stand his ground. Nothing really new from him, as he’s been great on clay and also struggled at times. Bedene was solid against Rinderknech, who reminds me a bit of Ruusuvuori and may make his way on tour in a year or two. Good groundstrokes, very fluid forehand, and just a bit less experience giving Bedene the edge late in the match.
This is another match where I lean towards the upset, but is the breakdown. Milojevic beat a superior player in Krajinovic, but a less consistent one. Kraj has had his fair share of struggles. Bedene isn’t a threat for deep runs in events, but gets the job done very consistently when he’s “supposed” to win. That’s a big thing on tour, as upsets happen. I did like Milojevic’s pace, and were he playing someone who has a bit more variety in their game, I’d think he had a better shot. Bedene tends to play a very similar game though, and the edge here will be very small. Milojevic elevating his game as the Kraj match progressed rather than barely getting across the finish line indicates to me fatigue wasn’t a factor and that it was just a one-and-done effort. Milojevic in 4-5.
Cuevas Tsitsipas : Haha they put the Uruguayan flag for both, I thought. But it turns out I am a muppet and have much to learn about the world. Many countries enjoy stripey goodness it seems. Cuevas was a bit too good today, negating the over of 35 games even while going to 4 sets. Laaksonen looked ok in the second but Cuevas’ loopy returns saw Henri making error after error. The ball hitting the net with an open court is something that seems to compound struggles on tour, and this was over quickly. The polar opposite of Tsitsipas’ war with Munar, which took forever and featured some of the most skillful exchanges of the first round. Munar is everything you want in a smol one. Unexpected dropshots, clean shots down the line, and the ability to transfer luck if you rub his head. Tsitsipas looked very impatient, and I feel for Munar who really never had a chance to win after Tsitsipas found form, but Stefanos making this comeback is a very good sign. He was drenched in sweat, struggling to put this away, and never really blew up.
Stefanos and Pablo played a week ago and although Cuevas was good, Tsitsipas seemed like he was able to defend the court well enough that Cuevas was only going to get the match with errors. I expect to see something similar here, although Stefanos won’t be able to afford the sort of slow start he made against Munar. Tsitsipas in 4 or Cuevas in 4.
Bublik Sonego : Bublik got the job done, and Monfils left fans wondering if he really wants to be out there fighting any more. Nothing wrong with losing to a great server whose career is on the rise, but Monfils seems like he’s not fully engaged out there, and so as a professional athlete, people are going to ask questions. Sonego and Gomez had a good contest, and while I think Sonego matches up well with Bublik, taking 5 sets with Gomez means Bublik will be able to find breaks of serve. There are likely to be some tiebreakers here, but given Bublik’s ability to serve out Monfils, he’s likely to win them. Bublik in 4.
Albot Fritz : If you read my predictions, you know what’s coming. Albot broke his slump by playing spirited ball again Thompson. It was one of the quicker matches in the first round, lasting just (insert however many minutes it lasted). Fritz Fritz’d it up, almost dropping the ball against qualifier Machac. Considering he barely snuck by, there’s reason to believe this will be a tough contest as well, even with Albot’s struggles. Albot tests his opponents movement, Fritz makes errors on the run. Albot breaks serve at a higher clip than most guys on tour, Fritz is mainly just a server. I think Fritz is the better player here, but I think that the lead will be very important for belief here, since Albot has struggled lately. I think Albot’s movement will be a key on the slower surface, but he’ll need to get off to a quick lead since Fritz (as many servers are) is a very dangerous opponent in a 5th set. Albot in 4.
Gombos Rodionov : Finally a good reliable favorite. I warned readers that Gombos is the Gombosiest, but they didn’t listen. Coric found out the hard way, and honestly there difference in this one was just ballstriking. Coric was moving the ball around looking to present the “you can’t hit through me” challenge, and while this is a good strategy in later rounds, guys really crush the ball in the first round and the pace is much quicker. Gombos almost snagged Cilic in the USO, and didn’t falter here. Rodionov waited as long as possible to get going against Chardy, going down 2 sets and only winning the tiebreaker 8-6. He served for the match in the 5th set 3 times, and had a very lucky day to be playing Chardy. Chardy just couldn’t keep the ball in the court on offense, and will have to earn his points in the indoor season this year.
Rodionov plays a solid game, and being lefty helps, but he lacks big weapons which is why he mostly plays on the challenger tour. Gombos has enough power to be able to dictate here, and Rodionov coming through the qualifier and played 5 long sets will make this an uphill battle. Considering Gombos hit through Coric, the defense is unlikely to phase him. Gombos in 3.
Giustino Schwartzman : Lorenzo Giustino and Corentin Moutet had played the match of the first round by the end of the 2nd set. Moutet was just in unreal form and dictating most of the rallies in this one. Where he suffered was in two patterns. Giustino hit his forehand with height/shape rather than pace into Moutet’s backhand. Once into this pattern the shorter Moutet tended to drive the backhand downward crosscourt and Giustino would execute the same shot. The backhand never broke down but Giustino was able to wear down Moutet’s patience, and he took many opportunities as the match went on to run around his backhand and hit the inside in forehand. Giustino hit this ball crosscourt every time, really not missing often. These are simple exchanges but it’s the same shotpatterns that Djokovic employs against Nadal. What transpired was Giustino’s speed being pitted against Moutet’s arm, and while it looked like Giustino wouldn’t find offense, Moutet’s forehand got more loopy and Giustino found winners crosscourt since he was able to drive the ball more, and Moutet’s backhand lost depth and Giustino was able to catch Moutet with the forehand down the line over and over. If people are looking for the way to beat these lefty patterns this was a great example.
I had hoped Moutet would win, as his offense would be able to trouble Diego a bit more. Schwartzman beat Kecmanovic easily, and Kecmanovic had that “this draw sucks and I’m already thinking about the next tournament” glazed look in his eyes throughout this match. Giustino has to be exhausted at this point, after qualifying and playing an extra 2 sets of tennis in the 5th. Diego is the wrong opponent to try to outlast, and I think unfortunately Giustino will be more error prone here which will drive Moutet insane from wherever he’s watching. Schwartzman in 3.
Wawrinka Koepfer : Mats Wilander’s comment that Murray should leave these wildcards to younger players has some validity, but his presentation is part of what is wrong with social media. If he really had this concern, he could send Murray a message and offer some perspective. Maybe the clay tour isn’t really where Murray needs to play at this point. Posting these “open letters” and private messages as tweets is a really bizarre way to posture and the messages tend to be more about the person writing them than the issue at hand. Now, unfortunately, Mats Wilander (who I have never heard of) is an official douchenozzle in my mind. Unfortunate, but not as unfortunate as Murray/Wawrinka not giving us the classic we were all hoping for. Wawrinka has stumbled so badly recently that him playing his normal solid top 10 clay court tennis was unexpected. Murray’s movement was poor, but most players are going to lose to Wawrinka when he plays well.
Koepfer looked solid against in dispatching Hoang, and there’s something to the idea that this next contest will be tricky for Stan. There’s always the crisp shotmaking and overwhelming power, but Koepfer is not really looking to win the hitting contest anyway, and instead thrives on scrambling rallies and working his opponent’s backhand. The outcome here depends entirely on Wawrinka, as Koepfer is likely to be steady throughout. I expect at least one set to go the German’s way, as he has proven to be an extremely difficult out. Wawrinka in 4-5 but I would avoid backing Stan here if you like dollars, especially since he’ll likely show his level and have a more predictably simple match the next round against Nishioka. With guys who are good for deep runs in tournaments if they’re playing well, it often helps to gather information rather than let that fear of missing out have you backing question marks.
Gaston Nishioka : Lefty fiiiiiiiight! Gaston won the all-French affair pretty comfortably and Nishioka’s quality in his win over FAA was completely ignored. FAA can’t serve! FAA so many errors! Part of this is inconsistency but part of this is Nishioka being a wall and constantly moving his opponent. Gaston will be at a disadvantage here experience-wise but lefty vs lefty is always a difficult task for both, and Nishioka has been a mixed bag on the clay so far this season. Very tough to know how these two will match up, but the pre-match edge has to sit with Nishioka. Nishioka in 4.
Ruud Paul : Pretty simple victories for both of these two, and this will be a great match to watch. Paul has shown he can compete at the top level, but watching him in his doubles match today he didn’t seem to be serving great. His partner Monroe is a great player to watch at net which is why I caught it, and inferences from doubles aren’t the most reliable, but I think Paul will need to avoid long rallies with Ruud, who has been improving every week since the restart. Pretty similar styles at different points in their career. Ruud in 4.
Sock Thiem : Sock had some genuine emotion winning games against Opelka, and it’s nice to see him visibly motivated after his chubby troubles. Thiem looked like there wasn’t much adjustment to clay in the first round, and he was extremely composed/reserved while beating Cilic. Cilic isn’t in great form, but beating him so easily is a real testament to Thiem’s solid position in the top 2-3 players in tennis. Sock’s skill and whippy forehand allow him to match up better against the top tier than the results will indicate, but with Sock’s backhand still a liability this isn’t a spot where Thiem will struggle too much. Thiem in 3 and let the inbox threats begin, he is my pick to win this tournament.
Zverev Herbert : Zverev continued his slow start strong finish method against Novak. Once he locks down the errors he becomes a very tough out and he hits the ball with such reservation during rallies that when he does finally go for a clean winner his opponents almost don’t move. In Serena’s age of dominance she’d often lose the first two games and then break back and her opponents level would fall and Zverev’s slow starts give me the same sort of “accidental or genius” psychological strategic vibes. It’s more likely it’s just tall players start slow. Herbert beat Mmoh, who is somehow a pusher that makes errors. I’d like to see him (Mmoh) go a bit more offensive for a season, as looking to be solid from the baseline just isn’t enough to win on tour.
The Herbert Zverev matchup is an interesting one since Herbert’s game has the things that traditionally would snag a player who starts slow. Herbert is an old-school serve and volley player who is adept at adjusting his strokes to keep the ball in the court. Zverev is a bit too crispy at the moment to expect a bit blowup, but Herbert having a higher caliber of offense than Novak (who plays a bit too straightforward to really beat the mid-top tier guys) gives him a better chance. Zverev in 4.
Londero Cecchinato : Londero flipped the result against Delbonis, who he’d lost in straight sets against in their previous meeting. It’s nice to see him back in the win column, as he plays a very unique game, going for accurate offense and looking to test his opponents speed. If it weren’t for fatigue, I’d think he were a decent favorite. Cecchinato has been great though, and murmurs of his previous French Open run were flying with his snowball beatdown of De Minaur. De Minaur isn’t the best on clay, as many pointed out, but he has some notable wins in his past including PCB, and beating him is never simple. Cecchinato’s power gives him an edge here if Londero is tired. Slower legs will leave more short balls and Cecchinato can really dictate. He’s also fairly deft at using the dropshot which can wear his opponents down. Where I hesitate to just hand him the win is that these new wins have been out of nowhere, and he hasn’t played a real top level player yet. Londero is the first such test, as his claycourt game can threaten all but the top 10-20 guys at the French. No pick here, but if either is able to win this quickly then Zverev is in for a difficult 3rd round.
Paire Coria : Local kumquat Benoit Paire played quite well, beating Kwon in straight sets. There wasn’t a lot of hope for Kwon, and he struggled with his serving throughout. Paire, whose attention span is that of a drunk raccoon, will be a small favorite in his next round against Coria, but Coria is the quintessential villain to beat Paire. Coria lacks offense, but is a venerable wall. The errors Kwon made will be less available, and with Sinner looming in the next round both guys will know this is their last chance to advance. I expect Paire to either find great form here or lose. Finding great form isn’t what I expect, and if Coria is able to earn an early lead this could be over quick. Coria in 4.
Bonzi Sinner : Bonzi played great against Ruusuvuori, and I got that match completely wrong. Sinner’s defeat of Goffin coupled with his 6-2, 6-2 loss to Cilic a week or so ago makes me think Goffin is either a bit injured or just not fully engaged in this clay swing, but Sinner looks great. Sinner in 4.
Kukushkin Martinez : Fognini Fognini’d all over the place. He seemed to hurt his ankle during the 3rd set tiebreaker, and for a guy who lacks a bit of self control he shockingly did not withdraw. This seems to be one of his principles, as he’s finished matches injured before. Good win for Kukushkin, who hung around until he was given the match. Martinez on the other hand went out and earned it, downing the hard hitting Vukic in straight sets.
Martinez and Kukushkin are unlikely to have huge edges against each other. Kukushkin does his best work at majors, but not really on clay, and Martinez is a claycourt expert, but generally earns errors/preys on his opponents inconsistency. I expect long rallies, and I expect Martinez to gradually pull away in this one. Martinez in 5.
Korda Isner : I’m gonna have to be honest. I completely missed Isner’s match. It didn’t seem like Benchetrit was returning much, and Isner is generally the same. That being said, I regret this because Korda played very well in defeating Seppi and I’d like to be more confident about defending his chances here. Korda plays very well at net, and while he’s a bit green, he’s been losing in the qualifiers on tour for a few seasons now. Him starting to win matches now means we can expect a solid performance from him. He’ll have the edge in baseline rallies, and given they’re from the same country, he’ll be somewhat familiar with Isner’s game. This will come down to Korda’s ability to avoid bad service games, and whether Isner’s serve is unreturnable or not. These are question marks, and I’m starting to hate question marks. Not as much as I hate people bouncing the ball between their legs before their serves though. Korda in fourda.
Nishikori Travaglia : Clay Nishikori is back! A late 5th set victory against Evans saw many bettors writing creative words into the livestream chat, and if you’ve never been called an assfish, you can only imagine how upset Dan is tonight. Kei was happy to get across the finish line, and he has to feel like he can breathe a sigh of relief. Travaglia beat Pablo Andujar, who I have been instructed by my attorney to point out is not from Colombia and does not live in the jungle and does not train jaguars and does not sleep in a cave and does not channel magical eagles and definitely does not possess the ability to call the wind from within his lungs which are definitely not made out of the spirit of a cursed python. Andujar had been on a tear, and beating him in straight sets coupled with Travaglia’s serving prowess mean I make him a slight favorite to beat Kei in this matchup. Since Kei is struggling to find length and rhythm playing a big hitter is likely a bad situation, and I give Kei a good chance since he’s such a difficult defender to beat but he really will be behind the 8-ball in his service games. Travaglia in 4-5.
McDonald Nadal : Nice win and some much needed points and bucks for Mackie. Nadal didn’t look great against Gerasimov but Egor was hitting some great offense and Nadal doesn’t exactly need to press early. Nadal in 3 and the next round against Travaglia will be a good look at Nadal’s level.
​
Finishing up the women's now. Should be up in an hour or two. <3

The morning alarm woke up Ghen. With an annoyed sigh, he stretched out his arm and silenced the foul-sounding chirps. Slowly sitting up in bed, he let out a deep yawn and got to his feet.
Running a couple of chitinous fingers along his antennae to stimulate them to life, he made his bed and then went to his closet. Today was a work day, so he needed his suit. Once the pants were on, he stretched out his wings so that he could button up the shirt, then relaxing them once all the buttons were secured.
Dressing for the day was done, now for the morning meal. Entering his kitchen, he took out the chilled leftovers of the evening meal last night and popped it into the radiator, first defrosting and then slightly cooking it.
During that process, he also fished out a ceramic cup and placed it in his brewer, serving himself some synthesized caffeine. His idle thought led him to being amused that, when eaten directly off a plant, it has a concentration that could kill him three times over. But after going through some refinement and roasting, all it does is make him hyper.
Once the meal was put together, his plate of heated leftovers and a cup of almost-piping-hot cup of Xia's, he took his time to enjoy it. His communicator vibrated. When he looked, he found it was from his boss.
"Hello?" Ghen answered.
"Ghen, the meeting's been moved up to a few minutes from now." His boss, Xkik, announced. "Apparently higher up has something important they want to say. We have a terminal ready for you, I'll message the login details."
"Wha-, what's so important?" Ghen asked in bewilderment. "Did a water line rupture or something?"
"No, nothing like that." Xkik replied with a slight chuckle. "It's actually about the rumors we've been hearing. That human corporation wanting to acquire us? That's what they're talking about."
Ghen could feel everything inside his thorax drop to the floor. "That must mean it's true then, right? Did we get sold off by the Queen to this company then?"
"Show up to the meeting and you'll get your answer." Xkik said simply. When he finished, Ghen got the notification on his communicator. There's the login details, allowing him to remotely attend the meeting. "They're about to start, hurry up."
Once Xkik disconnected, Ghen worked fast to login and set up the remote viewing. Once everything was done, his screen started transmitting the meeting room. It was already packed. And off by the main board, he saw his answer. There was a human, resting against the wall on his two legs. Standing right in the center of everyone's view was the coordinator, Tizx, watching the clock periodically.
As soon as the meeting's start time was reached, the coordinator began. "Alright everyone. I realize that this was rather short notice, so I want to say how appreciative I am that you made it. Now then, let's just get right to it. For some time now, many of you have been hearing rumors that a human corporation has been interested in us. Why? We never really knew. We're just an organization responsible for finding, extracting and providing water to the colony here all under the direction of the Queen herself. Well, as of now, I have the answer for you. Why don't I let Ryan say that?"
Stepping back, Tizx motioned for the human, Ryan, to take over. With a nod, Ryan practically bounced over and then took the position. "Good morning to you all. I hope my Zazk is passable, heh. Anyways, the answer to those rumors, is yes. Terran Galactic Company is indeed interested in you all. Which now leads to me. I'm here to announce that, effective yesterday evening, this water company is now a subsidiary of Terran Galactic Company, under the name of Zilia Water Delivery."
Many other sub-coordinators broke into hushed conversation, no doubt speaking their thoughts with each other about this move. Ghen could only wonder if this was even a good thing. What will the humans do? Will he still have his job? Will he have to learn how to deal with the ruthless humans?
"Now, I am well aware this is quite the...uh, change." Ryan continued. "That's why I'm happy to inform you that, no, nothing negative or detrimental will happen to you. You just have new people to answer to. Operations will continue as normal, everybody here will still keep their jobs. The only real change any of you will personally experience is that Coordinator Tizx here will now report to someone else. On behalf of the Terran Galactic Company, we are extremely excited and are looking forward to working with you all. Thank you for your time."
A week later.
At least Ryan wasn't lying. After the initial shock wore off, things went back as they normally did. There were no terminations, no reductions in annual pay or anything. Nothing really changed. At least until this new meeting was called. Ghen was at the worksite this time, so he took his seat and watched as, once again, Ryan led the meeting.
"Hello again, everyone!" He said cheerfully, his Zazk noticeably improved. "I hope I didn't end up looking like a liar, right? Everything's still normal, all that?"
All the zazk in the room confirmed, providing comments to their pleasant surprise as well as lingering thoughts.
"Awesome! Awesome." Ryan said jubilantly, his fleshy mouth revealing his bone-white teeth. "Now then, you're probably wondering why I'm here again, right? Well, I got another fantastic piece of news for you all! Two, actually. I'll start with the first: Zilia Water Delivery has just completed its IPO. The company is now publicly traded!"
Ghen and the others voiced their confusion, having no idea what in the name of the Queen Ryan was talking about. What was Ryan talking about? What's an IPO? And why exactly is being publicly traded such a significant thing?
"Oh, you guys don't know any of that?" Ryan asked in surprised confusion. After everybody confirmed, he let out a quick huff as he began his explanation. "Well, to begin, IPO is short for Initial Public Offering. Basically what that means is that, before today, Zilia was privately held. Only certain individuals could buy and sell shares here. But now that we're public? Literally anyone can buy and sell shares in the company, hence us being publicly traded."
"Uh, what's a share?" Ghen asked, still completely lost.
"Oh, boy..." Ryan muttered under his breath before returning to his peppy image. "To simply put it, a share is short for having a share of ownership in a company. When you buy a share, you're buying a piece of ownership, and when you sell, you're selling that amount."
"So wait...if someone buys a share, they're a co-owner then?" One of the other team coordinators asked.
"If they get enough, yeah." Ryan nodded. "You need a lot though, and that really depends on the company. If I had to give an answer though? I'd say usually you need to have a lot more shares than a lot of people combined to be officially a co-owner, but we call that being a majority shareholder."
"And how do we do that?" Ghen asked, now growing curious but still not understanding why such a concept exists.
"Simple. Buy shares." Ryan said simply. "And that leads into the second piece of awesome news. Zilia's corporate has a product in mind, a premium-package of water delivery. Instead of the usual water that you pump out, filter and ensure its potable before delivery, with the premium package, not only will you get that, but you'll also get all of the required nutrients and vitamins the zazk body requires! And they feel you guys have the best expertise and understanding to pull it off! So, here's what we're offering as a good-faith bonus: A 25% increase to your annual salary as well as being given stock options."
Ghen wasn't sure about the second part, but the salary definitely got his attention, as well as everyone else's. Although his job was considered to have a good pay, Ghen isn't going to say no to a higher salary. In fact, he's been focusing his work on getting a promotion so he can come home with even more credits in pocket.
"What do you mean by stock options?" Ghen asked after some time.
Ryan let out that smile again, the one that revealed his teeth. "If you choose to transfer over to the new group, you'll be provided 50,000 shares in Zilia itself. Why's that awesome? Let me walk you through it. Right now, our last closing price per share was 3.02 credits. And if you have 50,000 shares during that time, you're sitting on 151,000 credits, if you cash it out immediately."
"And why shouldn't we?" One of the coordinators demanded in an ambiguous tone.
"Because the price per share changes a lot." Ryan explained promptly. "When we got done with the IPO? It closed at 2.73 a share. Right now? My money's on the closing price being 2.99 a share. However, we are extremely confident in this premium package being successful. If it does? Well, my bet is that the share price will skyrocket to 3.12 a share. If you hold those shares and the price gets to what my bet was? You'll instead get 156,000 credits. Just by holding onto them, you just made an additional 5,000 credits!"
"And what if we have more shares?" Ghen questioned, now getting excited at the prospect of free money.
"Even more money!" Ryan laughed a bit. "And don't forget about dividends, but that's for another time. The premium group is gearing up right now, we just need the workforce. If any of you wants in, I'll be back tomorrow with all the forms needed to make it official. Take the day and tonight to think it over, yeah?"
Everything else melted into a blur. Ghen was practically on autopilot that whole day. Was this the secret to the humans' incredibly massive economy? How so many of them have amassed so much money out of nowhere? All you had to do was just buy this share out of a company and you get more money without even working?
As soon as he got home, Ghen knew what he was going to do during the night. After feverishly looking through the galnet, now having the human race connected to it, he looked and gathered up as many books that were translated into zazk as he could find, all talking about the human economic system. The last time he undertook such an intensive study was during his primary education phase.
And during his search, he even found forums on the galnet that were completely dedicated to the human's economy. All of them talking about strategies on what company, or stock, to pick. How to analyze a company's performance to determine if it was worth the money, or it had potential to grow over time. And that was when he discovered the humans found another method to the extremely simple buying and selling process. There were humans and some other immigrated aliens who made five times what Ghen could receive over a simple month just by watching the share prices during trading hours, and then buying and selling them at the proper times.
Ghen's mind was just absolutely flabbergasted. He thought it was just some strange concept only aliens could make, but no, not with the humans. They've practically made their economy into an art or a science. No, not even their economy. Everything. If humans can see a way to make money off of it, they'll do it. And if there isn't, they'll look for a way.
Healthcare was monetized. Galnet services, transportation, shopping at the store, they even made all of their utilities into profit-oriented companies.
And it was there that Ghen paused, the realization slamming into him. Everything was monetized. Which means, if you don't have the money for it, you're not getting it. Right? Are the humans truly that ruthless? So obsessed with making money? To the point that they're willing to deprive their own people of the absolute necessities if it's a source of credits?
Ghen let out a scoff. There's no way. Nobody is that cruel and callous. He's never been to the United Nations. He can't rely on what a bunch of random people on the galnet says. He decided that from here on out, he'll only go as far as saying that humans are a little obsessed with credits, nothing more.
...
There he was. Ryan, sitting in the office provided to him. And there was a rather large line leading to him. Looks like word got around. Although, the line wasn't as large as he expected it to be. Maybe the others thought it was just a ruse? That there's no such thing as making free money by spending it on such a made-up concept?
Ghen only knows that, if it is a ruse, it's an extremely elaborate one, where all of the humans are in on it. And he believes that's just extremely ridiculous. At the end, if he's unsure, he'll just take the transfer for the very real increase in his very real salary. And although he spent a very good chunk of the night reading up on how humans do things, he's still going to play it smart. He'll leave his 50,000 shares alone and see where it goes from there.
"Good morning sir." Ryan greeted warmly once Ghen took his seat. "Now, name please?"
"Ghen." He answered, barely keeping his nerves down.
"Alright...and what's your position at this location?" Ryan questioned after scribbling on his form.
"I monitor the pumping stations near the extraction sites." Ghen explained, staying on point. "To be more specific, I check to see if they're in need of maintenance, as well as reading the flow rate that's determined by the calculators installed there. If there's too little for what's needed, I pump out more. And if there's too much, I pull it back a little."
"Nice...and how long have you been doing it for?" Ryan complimented with a nod.
"As of tomorrow, ten years." Ghen replied, voice quickly changing to minor awe once he realized that fact.
"Excellent. Do you have anyone in mind you'd like to replace you here?" Ryan questioned after another scribble. "If you don't have anyone, you're free to say so."
Ghen took a moment to think it over. A bunch of names went through his mind, but one stuck with him. "Tilik. He's just been accepted here, but he's learned quickly. Very attentive and he always catches something subtle. I think he'll do really well in my position, even better actually."
"Tilik, really?" Ryan questioned with a little shock, going through his completed forms. Ghen felt a short sense of panic in him. Did something happen, or was Tilik actually transferring? His answer didn't take long to reveal itself. "Right, Tilik was actually one of the first people to want to transfer here. He's actually requested to be part of the testing teams specifically. Do you have a second choice?"
"Um...no, actually." Ghen replied, feeling a little ashamed. "Tilik was my only choice, to be honest."
"Hey, don't worry." Ryan said assuringly with his hands raised. "Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, there's just nobody up to snuff, right? 'Kay, so, last question. Is there anything specific you'd like to do when given the transfer?"
"If you need someone monitoring new pumps, I'd be happy to do that." Ghen stated.
"So basically same job but with better payoff, am I right?" Ryan grinned. "I hear you. Sometimes, we're just not paid enough for what we're doing. I know I think that sometimes. Uh, our secret, yeah?"
"Yeah, our secret." Ghen nodded, thinking it'd be better to have friendly relations with the human, just in case.
"Awesome. Back on topic, that's it." Ryan announced, placing the form on his pile. "We'll give you a call when you're accepted."
"Oh, uh, that's it?" Ghen questioned with a shrug in shocked surprise.
"What, expecting a question like, why do you want to transfer?" Ryan chuckled a bit as he leaned in his seat. "You can bullshit all you want, but we both know the answer. Sweet money and stock options. Not saying that's a bad answer of course, just that it's pretty obvious."
"I suppose it is." Ghen commented, realizing the point. "Also, you mentioned this...dividend? Is that for Zilia shares?"
Ryan laughed a little bit before nodding. "Yep, announced before I came here. About 0.43 per share. Want to know why that's awesome? Instead of waiting for the proper price to cash out your shares, now? The company pays you for each share you hold."
"A...Are you serious?" Ghen demanded, flabbergasted.
Ryan nodded with his now-trademark grin. "Dead serious. If you get the transfer, and get those 50,000 shares? A little head math...right, if you hold onto those, in addition to your salary, you'll now annually be paid 21,500 credits, if you keep it at 50,000 shares. Only you can decide to sell or buy shares."
Ghen just stood there silent and motionless, no idea of whether to believe it or not, to which Ryan just laughed. Once he walked out of the room, he managed to snap back to reality. Again, just focus on the very real pay-raise. He'll deal with the other parts later.
After he returned to his spot, he spotted Tizx approaching by his desk. The coordinator seems to be as casual as always.
"I saw you in that line a bit ago, Ghen." He said as he leaned on the desk. "Guess you're really taking that human's word?"
"I mean, I don't know about all this share business or what not." Ghen began with a shrug, his tone sounding a little defensive. "But I mean, having a bigger salary? Course I'm going for it when I can. And if all this magic credits turn out to be real? You realize we can live like the royal servants, right? Get the best cars, the nicest food and all that?"
"I'd be very careful, Ghen." Tizx warned in a sudden shift in tone. "Don't trust those humans. The way they just...obsess over money? Come up with more and more insane ways of getting credits? I don't know, it just makes my wings twitch."
"You think this is a bad idea?" Ghen asked with a little surprise at the change-in-demeanor.
"I think you should be careful, with the humans, and with what you're saying." Tizx replied, straightening his posture. "I wouldn't put it past those Earthmen to backstab you if it gets them a few more credits. And we all know how the royal servants get if any of us lowly commoners start thinking we can break into their circle."
"I hear you, I'll be on my guard, promise." Ghen stated with a nod. With a confirming nod of his own, Tizx returned back to his duty, walking past Ghen's desk.
Several weeks later.
Everything became so much better. Ghen got the transfer. He didn't need to relocate to a new residence either. And after he was walked through into learning how to manage his stock account, and seeing that new form of payment in his hands, he already felt as though he made the best decision. But it was only when he decided to take those shares more seriously that he became privy to what he was given. After receiving the dividend payment, and actually seeing it was real, valid credits after transferring it to his main bank account, all he could describe was the most powerful high he ever felt.
While his first thoughts were to buy himself a royalty-class car, some nicer furnishings for his home, or even a better home entirely, he ended up going the smarter route.
After going back to his stock account, he discovered that Zilia's shares rose to about 3.22 credits in price. Knowing that this was the easiest money he could ever make, he took all of his dividend earnings and bought more shares in Zilia, bringing him to owning 56,891.
And from his new regional coordinator, a human named Dylan, tomorrow is the grand release of the premium package. For just a monthly rate of 14.99 credits, the tap water will now include a sizeable portion of all nutrients and vitamins required in the zazk physiology. Still, Ghen has to admit. He's not entirely sure why anybody would want such a thing, if they'd even go for it. But, as long as he's practically swimming in easy credits, he won't pay much attention to it.
And just like when he was intensively studying the basics of how the human economy worked, he barely got any sleep. His mind was constantly thinking about the things he would buy. Or rather, what other stocks to put his credits into. Even now he can still hardly believe it. Just spend your money on some, make-believe thing and, if you wait long enough and picked the right stock, you'll get more than you spent back?
His mind even wandered onto what human colonies, or even their homeworld, Earth, was like. If everybody was making so much money, what kind of things would they offer? What kind of ridiculous service or product or item can you get? He's even debating on joining some forum and just asking around. Explain how he's new to how humans do things and was wondering what he should expect if he's successful.
By the time he felt like he can go to sleep, the binary-stars of the system were rising from the horizon. After getting out of his bed and changing to clean clothes, his mind returned onto what-ifs.
What if he bought better clothes? He's had his eye on that human brand of luxury clothes, Tessuti di Venezia, that's been all the rage amongst the royal servants. Or maybe he can go on vacation and just check out Earth for real?
It was a short ride to his workplace from his home. After getting stuff his stuff and preparing to walk through the doors, he heard the roar of a car grow louder. When he looked, he saw the sleekest and quite possibly the coolest looking car he's ever seen. Each time the engine revved it would startle him, both from how harsh it sounded as well as just how intense it sounded. And after it parked, he saw the doors pop out and then slide along the body back. And there, he saw Tilik, the seat literally turning and extending out a bit before he got off.
As soon as he saw Ghen staring, he struck a rather prideful pose after putting on his lab coat and then sauntered over to Ghen.
"What do you think?" Tilik said, without any doubt inviting praise or compliments.
"D...Did you actually buy that?" Ghen asked, unable to tear his eyes away from the car.
"You're Queens-damn right I did!" Tilik laughed happily. "Thing takes off like a starship, has temperature-controlled seating, all-in-one center console, barely any bouncing on rough roads. Hoof, best decision I've ever made!"
"How much did that thing cost?" Ghen asked after letting out an incredulous laugh.
"Five million credits." Tilik replied, earning an absolutely shocked stare from Ghen. "And thanks to the incredible salary I have, in addition to all these shares and dividends, I'll pay back the credits I borrowed in no time!"
Ghen needed a few moments before he could speak again. "All I've been doing is buying more shares."
Tilik laughed and then patted the now-envious monitor's back. "Smart man. I got a little carried away, yeah, but not anymore. Any spending credits I got, going right back to investing. That's what it's called right, investing?"
"Yeah, it is." Ghen nodded, feeling a fire light up in his thorax. "And also? Today's the day that the premium water thing is being released. Here's hoping it starts out well, right?"
"Oh it will, trust me." Tilik chuckled as they both began making their way inside the workplace. "Lots of research, lots of study. By the Queen, so much of it...it'll make your head spin."
And after hearing that, Ghen had a moment of realization. "Hey, Tilik? How did you get such a nice position anyways? Weren't you just studying under me before the humans came along?"
Tilik let out a sigh after opening the door. "I'll be honest, I never wanted your job. Not because it's boring or terrible, just...I didn't suffer so many sleepless nights in the science academy just to be a glorified button pusher. This is what I've always wanted. Doing science, solving problems rather than just applying the solution, you know?"
"Wait, you got an academic certificate?" Ghen questioned, completely floored. "How did you end up beneath me then? I should've been answering to you!"
"Simple." Tilik gave a heavier sigh. "A royal servant was asking for the same job I was. Take a guess at who got it."
"Ouch. Good thing the humans came along when they did, yeah?" Ghen was taken aback. He never heard anything about a servant taking a job at his place. "Looks like you're proving yourself to be well suited."
"By the Queen, of course I am." Tilik nodded. "Like I said, I nearly broke my wings through so many nights, got certified top of my class, all just to get pushed to the dirt because someone who was born into a particular family wanted the same thing I did? I know I'm smarter than any of those empty-skull servants back in the Center. I know that, whatever, uh...corporate? Yeah, whatever corporate wants out of science, I will xeek give it to them."
"Well, let me know how things go in the lab." Ghen said, admiring his drive as they neared the main office floor. "Because this is where the button pusher needs to go."
Tilik let out a laugh as he nodded. "Hey, how about we meet up at Queen's Fine Eatery tonight. I'll pay, yeah?"
Ghen, at first, wanted to admonish him for choosing such an outrageously expensive place to go. But he quickly realized that, he truly is good for it, thanks to the humans. "Well, hey, if you're paying for it."
...
It was a fantastic opening. After being told what news sites to keep in mind for stocks, he first heard it from Dylan, and then got more detail on Business Today. There was such a massive demand right from the start that Zilia needs to increase extraction just to meet it. But what really got his attention was the effect it had. Zilia Water Delivery's share price just blasted off. After seemingly holding steady at about 3.15, by the time he got home and logged onto his account, it already reached 7.04 a share. The calculator on his account told him that he got a value-gain of 54.26%.
Never in his entire life had he felt such...joy. With all of the shares he currently has? He's sitting at 400,512.64 credits. He knows that it is woefully pathetic compared to what the royal servants have just in their pockets, but the fact that he has such money, just by owning some intangible concept? Why even work at Zilia? Why doesn't he just sit at home, figure out what companies to invest in and make his money that way?
What's even the point in working a real job, getting a pathetic pay when you can just take the money you have, determine where to spend it, and get triple back? All just sitting on your wings at home, researching?
He was so wrapped up in his excited high that he completely forgot he was going to meet Tilik at Queen's. After quickly and haphazardly putting on his nicer clothes, he got to the place only a few minutes late.
Tilik was there by the guide, no doubt having been waiting for him. As soon as he strode up, Tilik's wings stiffned out some. No doubt he must've seen the numbers as well.
"I can see your wings, Ghen." Tilik began with an excited chuckle. "Made some serious credits?"
Ghen let out an incredulous scoff, struggling to find the words for a moment. "Incredible. All I'm going to say."
"Likewise." Tilik chortled some before nodding to the table guide. "All here. Table please?"
"Right this way, sir." The guide said politely. It was a short walk, travelling between round tables. The vast majority were populated by zazk, but Ghen was surprised at seeing a few humans here as well. No doubt corporate workers checking out the local food. He did spot them having bowls filled with some kind of mass. Some were brown, others white with what looks to be black specks on them.
They arrived at their table. A rather nice one, affording a view out the windows into the busy colony streets. Once Tilik and Ghen settled in, the guide handed out the menus.
"May I suggest our rather popular option for tonight?" The guide began. "Human ice-cream. Ingredients sourced from Earth itself. Very cold, but incredibly sweet, and coming in many flavors. The most popular amongst us is called vanilla-bean. The vanilla itself soaks in the cream for much of the process, and then the innards sprinkled on top of it near the end. Rumor has it that the Queen herself has demanded personal shipments of such a treat straight from the home of vanilla, an island on Earth named Madagascar."
Ghen didn't even spare a single thought. "Vanilla bean ice cream then, please."
"Same." Tilik seconded when the guide glanced to him. With a slight bow, the guide proceeded to ferry their orders to the kitchen. Thankfully it was just a short wait before the guide returned, carrying a large plate containing bowls of ice cream. Ghen could feel the saliva on his mandibles as the bowl was placed before them. He could just feel the cold air around that glistening mass of sugary goodness. The white snow decorated with the black dots of vanilla bean.
Once the guide left them, Tilik and Ghen both dived in at the same time. As soon as the ice cream entered his mouth, touched his tongue, he exploded in incomprehensible bliss. The sweetness, the smooth and creamy mass, even the taste of vanilla he wasn't sure about was just absolutely delightful. It was so overwhelming that his entire body limped, slumping in his seat as he was forced to ride on the surging tide of joy and happiness sweeping over him.
Tilik was no different. He too was taken completely by the effects of the ice cream, his wings fluttering some against the seat. Ghen could hear some noise. It was the humans they passed by. They were chuckling, grinning, and glancing over at them discreetly. Unlike the two zazk, the humans seemingly just enjoyed the ice cream as if it was just another nice dessert to them. Or perhaps they couldn't allow themselves to succumb to the high?
And as soon as the wave of indescribable bliss and happiness subsided, Ghen knew. He just knew. This was the life. He wanted this. The ice cream was just the beginning. So many things denied because he didn't have the credits, or worse, not the blood. Because he was just a drone in the great Collective, even if he had the credits, he wasn't allowed because of what caste he was born in. That fire that sparked in him when he saw Tilik's new car? It exploded into a raging firestorm.
And when looking into Tilik's eyes, Ghen could see the same. He was on the same page as Ghen was. Both of them were sold. They have the credits. And the humans? If you can pay for it, they'll never discriminate. All they cared about is if you have the money.
And by the Queen, Ghen and Tilik will endeavor to amass as much credits as physically possible.
The rest of the night faded into a blur. A blur that evokes only one thing. Bliss. It was only when he walked through the door of his pathetic hut that Ghen's mind snapped back to focus. His mandibles felt sticky. And he felt a weight in his stomach. How much ice cream did he eat? Whatever it was, he ate such volume that the lower-section of his throax extended and rounded out, visible even under his shirt. He felt something odd in his pocket. It was a receipt. 43,000 credits for ten bowls of vanilla bean ice cream. Was that ten bowls for both of them? Or individually? Ghen didn't care. He's good for it.
Returning back to his calculator, he acted upon the decision that he had made at that eatery. He's acquiring as many books about investing and stock trading as he could find, frequent and study all the discussions and arguments presented by other like-minded individuals such as he, all to ensure he can live the good life. And he had a very good feeling Tilik was doing the exact same thing.
Well, first, the gurgling in his stomach, as well as the feeling of something rising demanded his attention. Looks like he'll need to take the night off to let his stomach get back to normal.
Three Years Later.
Ghen looked out beyond the horizon, seeing the colony that he grew up in. On the far side was where his old house was. With only a simple robe on, made from the finest silk from Earth's nation-state of China, he relaxed in his seat.
It was a long road. Stockpiling credits from pre-existing investments and from subsequent pays, he and Tilik made it. From having only half a million in assets and cash, now transformed to over eight-hundred million. And now, his call contracts on American Interstellar? They've just announced a breakthrough in their next generation of warp drives, reducing the speed coefficient even further, resulting in far faster travel. And with that, their stock price climbed sharply.
Another hundred million credits in the bank. Soon, very soon, he and Tilik are about to become the galaxy's first zazk billionares. But that's not enough. There are many humans who are billionares. Only those he can count on one hand are considered trillionares. He's going to break into that circle. He and Tilik.
Looking beyond the colony, he saw the abandoned building of the workplace he transferred to when the humans arrived. Turns out, the reason for such a high demand was that the humans also slipped in sugar to the tap water. As soon as that broke, many influential royal servants demanded investigations and outright banning of Terran Galactic Company's influence over the former government division. Zilia's stock price plummeted. But thanks to an advance tip from his human coordinator, Dylan, he and Tilik made a put contract. And that's where they struck gold, as the human saying goes.
Dylan warned that if they were citizens of the United Nations, they'd be investigated and convicted for insider trading. But, since they weren't, and the Collective were only just introduced to capitalism, there's no risk at all. Now the colony is going through a withdrawal phase, Zilia has been dissolved and reformed back as a government division and are currently at work re-establishing the standard, plain water delivery.
"Well, shit." Tilik muttered as he walked up to Ghen's side, taking well to human speech. "Looks like you win. American Interstellar's announcement really was a good thing. There goes a million credits. Ah well, the Royal Shipyards will make it back for me soon."
"Oh? Did they just go corporate?" Ghen asked curiously, glancing to Tilik.
"Hell yeah they did." Tilik chuckled, sitting down. "Queen and her retard servants fought it hard, but Royal Shipyards is now officially a human-style corporation. And, to a surprise to all the xenophobes in the galaxy, they're already being offered contracts for ship production. That'll raise the stock price pretty good."
"What's that human word...?" Ghen muttered, already having a reply in mind. "Dick? Yeah, calls or suck my dick, Tilik."
Tilik roared in laughter. "Already made them. Forty credits a share by this day next month."
"I have half a mind to go thirty." Ghen chuckled. "Either way, until then, I heard from Dylan that he knows a guy who knows several prime human women who happen to be into zazk."
"You're interested in women?" Tilik said as his wings fluttered. "With how often you tell me to suck you off, I'd have thought differently."
"Oh, I always thought it was you who was into men." Ghen responded dryly. "Just wanted to be a good friend, you know? Considering how you never seem to make it past, Hey sweet thing, I'm rich you know."
"Oh, go fuck yourself." Tilik countered with a little laugh. After he stopped, wings stiffened, he looked to Ghen. "So, know any royal servants we can put the squeeze on for more revenue streams?"
"I got just the one." Ghen nodded, sitting up. "Fzik. He's been fighting to control the ice cream trade. Worried it's a corrupting influence. Got done talking with the human CEO of Nestle earlier. If we clear the way, he'll know how to squeeze a little more gains in stock price when he makes the announcement."
Tilik's wings stiffened even more, signaling his approval. "Alright, time to throw some credits around, yeah?"
AN: Sorry for the period of no updates. College is starting up, lots of stuff to clear and work out. Not sure why but I just got a bug up my butt about incorporating money and the stock market into a short. Here it is. Sorry if it seems abrupt, character limit fast approaching. Let me know how you guys think about it!

The results are in for Match 4.
A certain member of the audience, however, wasn’t terribly paying attention to what might come of this battle, of swordsmen and ecoterrorists throwing down for public amusement, of the awe of the crowds as certain death-defying stunts and spectacles they had never seen with the naked eye before came true before their eyes, just as had come about on TV.
The viewer thought little about the way the crowd cheered, or how a scarred young man seemed to be rooting particularly for the clown breeder on one side, even as they seemed to be brought to the backfoot.
What they noticed about this, however, only further confirmed their suspicions, the things which had kept them standing here watching this travesty, this waste of time. Despite how it looked, how clean this seemed, light on blood, there was no way in hell that burning wounds like those would look nearly so clean on people. Guy and Arthur had to be hurting deeply, even if they kept going, kept pressing.
Which meant that the disappearing Cairo Satori act at the start was even more certainly an illusion. Ugh, after all this setup of sonic devices, all this planning, all this watching, there was a chance that Cairo wasn’t even really here, huh? Of course, spineless and fake, unwilling to stand before a crowd when there were, in fact, people who knew better than to get swept up in this malarkey.
They quickly texted their accomplice, burner-to-burner, a coded message, seemingly innocuous and yet, in true intent, clear. The plan was off.

Aw, are you sure?
Completely.

Before, all these people would have just been potential collateral, complicit in this in the first place so an acceptable loss, a potent warning. Following through now, though, when Cairo could be in goddamn Red Clay for all the reluctant watcher knew? They still had some standards, and wouldn’t just cut people down for nothing.
You may have given us the slip this round, Cairo… They thought, then, as they turned around to leave, walking away casually, crushing a remote in their hand. But this isn’t over. You’ll answer for everything you’ve done, everything you are, and everything you’ve guided people to.
They didn’t bother looking, then, as the faux-Cairo returned, not aware of any metaphysical idea of ‘scores of 79 to 67,’ but still calling out all the same:
“The winners are Arthur and Guy, of the Suburban Regalia!”

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	Suburban Regalia	18-12	Votes were close for much of the match’s run, but in the end Wood Team pulled two votes ahead.
Quality	Tie	24- 24	Reasoning
JoJolity	Suburban Regalia	27 - 21	Reasoning
Conduct	The Audience	10-10

Caroline had apparently sanitized the match somewhat, the public not seeming to notice some of the more grotesque ways in which all four participants were battered, burnt, bruised, and bleeding. Arthur had nearly died once in what was honestly a worse wreck than this, but Guy was lucky that his body was so regenerative or else he might not have taken it.
“Despite the showmanship, that was… That was a real, raw fight, unlike anything where I had worked before.” Arthur remarked, breath short as he and Guy were led backstage, several identical-looking boyfriends of some clothing store employees carrying Medea and Rob to sooner medical attention; being beaten harder, they needed it first, after all. “To think I had believed myself a true warrior from that alone once… Yet now, I feel more prepared than ever, I think.”
“Yeah, in the real deep of it, you learn quick or you die,” Guy answered plainly, nonetheless feeling proud at overcoming such obstacles. “Though I guess we wouldn’t die here, uh… You get my point.”
“I do!”
Of course, led to a backroom, they were all too happy to find seats to collapse into as they awaited the graciously-hired doctor, well aware that she would likely only be a few minutes at most with the others from hearsay. In the room they entered, a young man in a purple aviator hat, goggles, and generally fashionable, was speaking pensively on the phone with somebody, Cairo seated nearby, cross-legged. The conversation wasn’t stopped at all by their approach.
“I’m afraid they’ve gotten away, whoever it was…” The Purple kid tensed, then, adding, “I know, Dollars, this isn’t ideal, but! There’s a but, bear with us here! Cairo was in the thick of it themselves, and found several of the sonic machines they’d set up and abandoned… Clearly, they’d realized that their nefarious intentions would have been for naught, but if this is what they think they are… Tel Mr. Lloyd to be ready to study with ‘To Make Believe,’ yes?” He looked sadder, a moment, adding, “you don’t have to tell him it’s me who asked. Just make sure he knows.”
“Whoever it was, they were really gonna try and take me out live onstage, huh?” Cairo asked, tilting their head back and looking up at the ceiling. “If we didn’t have Caroline, I swear…” For once, then, they looked seriously displeased. “I kinda wish I could’ve tracked them down with a bat, but…” They shook their head. “Not in the middle of the mall…” They looked towards Guy and Arthur, then. “Hey, bangup job out there! Everyone did really well today, you guys included.”
At that, Purple and Cairo excused themselves to quietly go elsewhere, and as they went through the doorway, Caroline Jeffords was standing there, giving them a professional-looking smile.
“What was that about?” Arthur asked. “Did you guys… Go through with this event, even knowing there was some serious safety risk like that?”
“More likely they were sure they could handle it,” Guy answered with a shrug, then wincing as shrugging hurt. “Maybe overconfident, maybe not… I dunno.”
“I assure you, we had the situation under control!” Caroline said happily, before moving to take a seat herself. “Anyway, though, I still remember my promise… You still wanted to grill me a bit, right? Let’s have a nice little chat.”
If you have the time, why not check out a subterfuge-laden brawl between two fighters trying to keep up the appearances of working as waiters at a restaurant?
Scenario:
Location: In an unmarked van somewhere in the Agriculture District
The mood in the back of this armored vehicle was a tense one, every bump in the road and shift in people’s uncomfortable posture seeming like it might be the final push, causing the people within it to come to blows.
Effie Linder glanced to the driver, a weirdly young guy in a blue aviator cap trying to focus on the road, and then to the sour face of a blond lady across from her. She saw no reason to trust either of them.
Jenny Kidd didn’t know how she felt about being given a partner. For all she knew, this girl sitting across from her was here to make sure she didn’t back out on this. Jenny scanned the tomboy over, meaning to do so quietly, but her attitude and her mouth won out. “Just who the fuck are you anyways?”
“Excuse me?” Effie narrowed her eyes at Jenny, “What, am I not good enough for your approval or something?” Effie stretched her arms out in frustration. “Seriously, what’s the problem?”
Jenny was a bit taken aback before verbally retaliating, “I thought this was going to be some whole fucking ordeal, but instead I wind up thrown together with some kid with a slingshot. What are you here for, to pelt people with rocks?” Jenny, with her own reasons to be frustrated by this, let loose some of her anger at the whole situation at Effie.
Effie scowled and pointed at Jenny, “I could say the same about you! Here just to complain people’s ears off? Just to boss me around?” Effie placed her hands behind her head and crossed her legs. “I am not putting up with that no matter how much you threaten me, so shut up and I can leave as soon as we are done!”
“Me threatening you?!” Jenny exploded in exaserbation, “Fuck you, you’re the ones who are blackmailing me!”
“What are you on about now?! You’ve been the ones strongarming my boss into agreeing to do this!” Effie retorted.
“If you don’t quiet down I am turning this van around,” the blue-clad driver said, goggle-covered eyes peering at them in the rear-view mirror. “…just a little joke. A funny. A ‘haha,’ if you will. I’ll just find a bumpier and faster route.”
Silence hung in the room as the realization dawned on both of them and the tension slowly faded.
Jenny was the first to speak, “We...we’re in a similar situation here, huh?” Jenny averted her gaze and looked sideways.
Effie uncrossed her legs and put her hands down, “I guess we are, huh?”
While they were both relieved, that didn’t make the situation they found themselves in that much better.
Well, Effie thought, she might as well extend the olive branch. “I don’t even know why I keep doing this for her… These are her problems, not mine, so why do I keep getting thrown at them?”
The Slums - The Elephant Bones, several days prior
It was just another day at Elephant Bones, most of the initial influx of people that came due to their appearance at the Food Festival had died down to a trickle. This was likely due to how out of the way and hazardous the place was, so those people seemed to settle for deliveries rather than dining-in. Not that Fira minded, of course, the quieter business was, the less disruptions would be made.
However, today was special. While on a delivery route, Zebra had spotted a long Ugo McBasie strolling through the streets of the slums directly towards the restaurant. London and Byte had managed to get a piano perched on top of the building and Glitch had been waiting up there all day with [Vida Loca] itching to drop it on him. Very few things made Fira smile, but this just might get close. A stripe under the door sent Zebra flying in, a trademark smirk on his face, “Give it 5”.
With that simple statement, Fira took a seat at the bar and poured herself something nice before going over some expense reports. It only took a few more minutes before the familiar sound of a piano dropping off the roof of The Elephant Bones crashed through the restaurant. A few seconds of satisfaction hung in Fira’s mind before the sound of the door bell shocked her out of it. An entirely unhurt Ugo stood there, brushing keys off of his shoulders as he surveyed the room before smiling at and then selecting a table. “Cute, but not what I’m here for.”
Fira stared at the familiar helmeted individual. It was hard to tell the extent of the damage, but he did look at least slightly worse for wear, though whatever damage he had taken had only been a temporary setback, as he sat in front of her completely unphased by the large musical instrument he had just dropped on him. “Come on boss, I don't have all day.”
Fira walked up to him, doing her best to burn a hole in the bastard's head with the intense anger of her stare alone, “What do you want.”
“Come on, don’t be like that,” Ugo flashed a wry grin, “I just needed to ask you and your companions for a few favors.”
Fira crossed her arms in bored defiance.
Ugo chuckled, “Listen, I know what you’re thinking. ‘So what’s in it for you?’ Well for starters, I won’t get your restaurant shut down for operating without a…”
“Taken care of, got a lawyer for that too.” Fira shut down Ugo before he could continue, she was slightly annoyed this has happened twice now.
Ugo muttered under his breath, “Goddamn it James,” before he looked back up laughing. “You didn’t seriously think that was my actual threat though, did you?”
Fira continued to stare Ugo down. He had an air about him that seemed to indicate that he was about to try and knock her down, and she had the feeling that if she gave even an inch, he would win out.
Ugo stood up, grabbing the shotgun-leg of the table he had seen as he scanned the restaurant and ripped it off as he stood. As he spun it in his hand he aimed it up at the rough area where the piano had fallen from and unloaded both barrels into the ceiling. As the sound or Glitch’s scrambling footsteps patted across the roof and drywall chunks rained down on Fira.
Ugo smiled in a crooked way, “Looks like we have a loaded and unregistered firearm. That, along with a still valid warrant from the late Councilman March, and I can clean this place out, split up your little family, and even have some of your loved ones brought to our fine city from outside to answer a few questions. We don't want that, yeah?”
Ugo’s face burst into a wide, smug smile before tossing the gun on the floor in front of Fira and crossing his arms. “Cool, then call me by noon tomorrow”.
A tense silence hung over the room as Ugo dusted himself off, tossing a business card on the table and leaving the restaurant.
Once he was out Fira picked up and looked at the card, crumpling it in her furious grip. She swore she’d get back at him for this, but the safety of her staff would have to come first. She wasn’t a lawyer, and that guy Effie worked with before was apparently really unreliable, so she didn’t know how much truth there was to all he’d said, but given what had just become of Jo’s Sushi, she couldn’t really risk calling any bluffs here even if he was bullshitting.
For now she had to bide her time. As she did so, she turned towards someone who had been sitting in the corner of the room, having little presence as she tried to thumb through some Kropotkin. “Hey, Effie.”
She’d heard and seen every second of this, and had been moments away from bailing, already expecting this. “Seriously?”
“Your boss just pushed this on you?” Jenny asked, quietly. “That bites, seriously. All the differences I have with mine, she’d never screw me like that.”
“If you say so,” Effie answered, doubtful, “a boss is a boss, chummy or not. She’s not your friend.”
“I didn’t say we were friends,” Jenny answered, “just that she’s not some callous monster. She’s the kind of person who thinks she’s everyone’s mom…” With particular bitterness, she continued with a clenched fist, “can’t stand that attitude, honestly.”
Shopping District - Bad Apple Breakroom, several days prior
Jenny had just gotten back from a busy lunch rush to take a quick break, but as she sat down she felt something in her back pocket that definitely wasn’t there before. She reached in and pulled out a partially crumpled up letter and her face went pale as she read.

“To ‘Kristy’, Ms. Jenny Kidd: We know who you are, we know your criminal history. If you want to keep your secret you will have to do something for us. Call the number on the back of this card by tomorrow noon or else we will reveal your true identity to the city.”

Gabanna walked into the break room with an already lit cigarette in her mouth as she leaned against the side wall. She looked over to the distressed Jenny, “You ok there, sweetie? You’re looking a bit pale.” Gabanna decided not to bring up the letter Jenny was clutching just yet.
Jenny shook her head, thoughts raced in her mind. Jenny resolved herself to handle this alone. “Nothing’s wrong!” she stated loudly, she tried to convince herself of the fact much more than she tried to convince Gabanna. She slammed the note onto the table face down.
Gabanna quickly glanced over and saw part of a phone number written on the back of the note. Gabbana sighed and put out her cigarette, “Listen, do not be afraid to call me or anybody else here to help you with whatever problem this is. You can trust us with whatever you need.”
Jenny shook her head again, “No I’ll handle this alone. I might have to take a few days off.”
Back to the Present
“Wait, but…” Effie blinked. “Los Fortuna’s not gonna chew you up and spit you out for being an ex-con or whatever. I mean, you see that Jesse guy all over the place and apparently he doesn’t hide what he’s done. They’ve got nothing on you that’ll hurt you, especially if you’ve got a support system.”
“It won’t hurt me,” Jenny agreed, before looking out the window, seeing herself in its reflection. “But I’m kinda supposed to be dead right now, and… There’s people that… I just think would be better off if it stayed that way.”
Someone faking her death, too? Jesus, I am just having a repeat day.
The van stopped and the driver turned back to them, “We’re here. You two are to find Ernie Ford and then grab the notebook he always has on him.”
“You brought us here and threatened us to steal a fucking notebook!?” Jenny interrupted before he could continue.
Effie crossed her arms, “It isn’t that easy, is it? I mean, you look tough yourself, and have this armored van, but you’re asking two girls to?”
“I was getting to that.” The driver took a breath, slightly annoyed from being interrupted, “Ernie is the strongest person in the Agriculture District… Arguably one of the most in the entire city, but don’t tell Ugo I said that. It’s very funny when he hears it being said, but I also prefer it when my limbs and my brain remain functional.”
“How come I’ve barely ever heard of him then?” Jenny quipped back at him. She vaguely remembered hearing about him from Ryuga, enough to know Ernie and their current ‘employer’ didn’t have a good relationship with each other.
“He’s busy.” The driver shrugged, “Look, take my word for it or don’t, do not underestimate him. A whole bunch of us tried to fight him in a van just like this a few months back and… Have you ever seen a victim win a drive-by?”
Effie and Jenny were silent, thinking about that before seeing a building (a bar, apparently) in the slight distance. With that, and the urging of the Blue Kid, the two of them left the van and he drove off.
“Maybe we could give them a fake book and call it a day,” Jenny suggested out loud, “I mean, fuck these guys, right?”
“That’s tempting, but how do we know it would work? We haven’t even seen what the notebook looks like,” Effie was partial to the idea, but if they got it wrong they would be in even more trouble than they started with.
Jenny sighed, “Which means we need more information don’t we. One way or another, we’re doing this.”
Effie nodded, “And they only gave us one lead…”
Ernie Ford was busy measuring the doorframe of Walker Ranger’s bar when a truck came up, and a novelty honk, bearing the sound of four distinct notes, made entirely clear who had arrived again.
“Afternoon, Ernie! Picked up that stuff you wanted.” Yep, Ernie figured, and that low, soothing voice confirmed it. Matilda York stepped out of the truck with a clipboard, walking over to him slowly, “for formality reasons, gonna need you to sign this, you know how it goes.”
As Ernie went to sign the clipboard, he looked up again, seeing someone step out of the passenger seat as well: much shorter, and rounder, the other person had black hair worn in a translucent pink headscarf, her typically formal attire swapped out for a leather jacket, pants, gloves, and an old-looking t-shirt. “Hey, Ernie,” she said, casually, stepping out and looking around the lot. “Sorry I couldn’t make it sooner. Had midterms to grade and a protest to organize. Jeez, they did a number on this place… I swear, it baffles me that Ugo hasn’t been fired, or court-martialed, or something.”
“Barret, probably,” Ernie answered, scoffing, “and half of city hall in his boss’ pocket. I dunno how you stand working out there, Venus.”
“It’s where I’m needed,” Venus York answered, looking between the others present, “but I’m needed here now.”
“It’s like a big huge get-together! We may even have a future again!”
“Don’t push your luck,” Venus sighed at the eagerness, clearly trying not to be flustered. “We’re here to help you get this place fixed up quick, conditionally.”
He cocked an eyebrow, then, making a questioning sound.
“That you’ll take a break after all of this,” she said, leaning into a wall, “give yourself a moment to rest instead of shifting between beating people back and fixing their mistakes.”
Ernie shook his head. “I still got more work to get done today.”
Matilda placed her hands on her hips, “Reeeally now? Well then, mind telling me what was up next today?”
Ernie tugged on his collar, “I was uh, going to check on the hangar…”
“You already finished up the hangar a few days ago.” Matilda chided, “nothin’ gets past the bagboy there, and I just recently saw the thing myself when I was out there.”
“Well…” Ernie looked away. “I was also going to check up with Sheriff East. You know how often he needs something done around here.”
“Come on now.” Venus shook her head, while her ex-wife patted him squarely on the shoulder and looked him over. “You know if he really needed something only you could deal with, he would call you. If you just run off to him on your own, he’ll just make something up to save face for both of you. Remember ‘06?”
“I dunno, do you remember going by a number?” Ernie grumbled.
“I-I was like sixteen, give me a break!” The shorter York divorcee exclaimed, looking away with embarrassment herself.
“Hey, Ernie, you’re the weirdo in the room for usin’ one full name your whole life,” Matilda teased then.
York looked up again, clearing her throat and continuing, “a lot of time has passed, yes. Now we’re all pushing fifty, and this is advice I need to tell teenagers in my classes. I know the urge, trust me, and I might not be as in-shape as you two anymore, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need to let your body rest instead of staying awake for months on end.”
Matilda nodded. “Just take the day off, not looking for work or doing random check-ups around the District. I want you to head straight home, otherwise I won’t be bringing you materials for the rest of the month… I can’t keep facilitating all this not taking care of yourself! If you keel over or something ‘cuz you finally found your limit, it’ll be on all our consciences, and you’ll have inconvenienced everyone way worse!”
Ernie grumbled, looking momentarily to his notebook on a repaired table, before sighing. “Alright, fine, I’ll finish up here and go home.”
“With how much you’ve done, the two of us can cover the rest,” Venus said, “just help us unload and the rest shouldn’t be a problem.” As she spoke, Matilda moved to the back of the truck to open the door. Venus followed her out, cocking her head suspiciously towards something, before dismissing the thoughts.
“Shit, that was close…” Jenny sighed, ducked with Effie under the wall of the rooftop. She’d had a couple of clones planted around, and the short professor had come so very close to noticing the one within the building.
Peering back up, Effie and Jenny saw Ernie come out of the back of a truck holding a full sized table.
“There he is,” Effie said, “let’s just get this done with so we can leave.”
“Wait.” Jenny pointed to Ernie, moving the table through trying to squeeze it past the door. They both saw something strange. In an instant, both Ernie and the table were inside the bar. It was no trick, he had gone from squeezing the table through the door to past the door without any trouble.
“He’s a Stand user, huh?” Effie whispered, unsurprised by this. “Good catch…”
“Would bet the others are too,” Jenny said, “I mean… Matilda looks like she’s pretty jacked, but you saw that ‘Venus,’ there. What could she have to offer that she could totally take over cleanup for ‘the strongest man in the district?’” She spoke from experience, there; she could multiply herself, making her the most suited laborer on her team, after all.
The two of them watched as this continued, both of them quickly saw that there wasn’t going to be any quick opening where they could grab his notebook and get out, especially with the others present.
After a few minutes, Ernie came out with a door and pressed it to the doorframe. Effie and Jenny watched intently, scouting what they would be up against. A blur came up from Ernie’s shoulder, just as quickly as it came in it receded and the door was now screwed onto the frame.
With that all finished, Ernie started to walk away, with Effie and Jenny tailing him. The latter would grow many things to assure they weren’t followed in turn.
An hour later, down a forest trail
A log cabin was in the distance, Effie and Jenny couldn’t believe their luck as they found Ernie going to a secluded area where they could take the book without needing to worry about other people getting in the way.
Ernie felt the pairs of eyes watching him, occasionally he stopped to look over his shoulder, but every time he checked he saw nothing. Even though Matilda told him to take the day off, his mind refused to rest. “Who’s back there!” Ernie called out, “If Matilda put you up to this, I get it already! I’m going home literally right now!”
No response. Jenny and Effie were being as careful as they could, with how Ernie kept looking back it was difficult to gain any distance on him.
Ernie grumbled, pressing himself against a tree. In an instant he was gone again.
No, wait, he was… climbing on the tree? Jenny looked up to see Ernie in the trees, and they briefly met eye contact before he disappeared again.
Effie and Jenny looked around, Ernie was nowhere in sight. They looked around for a good minute with no sign of him. Then a hand clapped them both on the shoulders.
“You’re not from around here, are you? Then she wouldn’t send you for a courtesy call…”They both looked to see the face of Ernie Ford looking back at them, and looking him over, they realized it; their goal was so close in sight, yet a single misstep could cost them. “Now, I’m giving you one warning, leave.”
Jenny and Effie looked to each other and took what could be their best chance. They both jumped to tackle Ernie with their Stands active, only for them to find themselves in a bush behind Ernie.
He didn’t dodge point blank, no, more accurately they were the ones that were teleported. “I don’t like using my Stand that often, only where it makes sense to.” Ernie interrupted their train of thought.
Then pieces of information clicked together, “You have to grab something to teleport it or yourself, don’t you.” Effie grinned picking herself off the ground, her educated guess couldn’t be too far off.
Jenny stood up as well, “You only have a short range, that’s why you took so long and had to hide to approach us. You must be confident in what you can do to pull a fucking stunt like that.”
Ernie just started walking away, “Even if you know all of that, that still doesn’t mean you can beat me in a fight, nor does that make me want a fight.” Ernie acknowledged what all they said was true, but he kept walking, somewhat lost in thought.
“Get the fuck back here. We can’t afford to go back empty handed.” Jenny said as they readied themselves.
Effie nodded, “Well stealth isn’t on the table anymore,” loading up her slingshot. While she didn’t want to do this, Fira made it clear how important this mission was.
Ernie stopped in the middle of the clearing as he reached an epiphany. “My words never work, do they? It doesn’t matter what I say… these things will still happen. Whatever it is you have to achieve, whatever motive you have, whatever you have to prove, I’m gonna be stuck being the guy fixing up whatever comes of it.” Ernie thought back to his previous encounters with Stand users, “All of you are the same in the end, Stand users that pick fights for their own melodramatic reasons, it’s not will power, it’s pride, it’s arrogance. Willpower is shown when stopping unnecessary conflict. It’s doing the hard things in life to help those around you.”
Ernie turned to face them, “I suppose gaining Stands makes it seem like they are the tool appropriate for solving all your problems, doesn’t it? A real golden hammer for all the nails in the world.”
Ernie spat out that last sentence arms crossed now, “Well, go on then. What exactly are you here for?” Ernie let his words ring out, tired that this whole thing looked to be happening in front of him again. It was the same scene he had seen throughout the District - no, scratch that, all of this Metro area - over the years, only this time he had to be a part of it.
Jenny and Effie hesitated for a bit, while neither of them wanted the book for themselves, a fight was inevitable unless they could convince Ernie to help them willingly.
Whether they had a plan or not, they didn’t have much time before Ernie started moving again. This had to end one way or another so it was time to…
OPEN THE GAME!
(credit to magistelles for the image, both the hidden and unhidden version!)
Location:
A clearing where one of Ernie’s cabins are. The map here is 60 by 60 meters total with each tile being 5 by 5 meters. The ground is also covered in grass. Ernie starts in the middle while the players start in the bottom right as represented by their tokens.
The brown and orange rectangles are Ernie’s one room cabin and porch. The thing is made mostly out of logs with wooden boards forming the porch and flooring. Inside the cabin is a bed, a table, two chairs, two desks, a closet with clothes, and a blank notebook.
The green circles are 10 meter tall trees and the brown circles are wooden barrels filled with water.
Goal: For the players, get Ernie’s notebook before the hour mark! For Ernie, keep your notebook safe for an hour!
Additional Information:
For the players to win they must get Ernie’s notebook and leave the map through the South end before an hour passes. After the hour mark if the players are unable to complete their goal Sheriff West will arrive and they will be effectively jailed and Retired.
Ernie’s notebook is in his backpack and is shown on his inventory on his character sheet here
Boss Information: Included in this document (pastebin version here)

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
BADD GUYS and The Graveyard Shift	Jenny Kidd and Effie Linder	"I get it now, Fratellone Prosciutto! I understand your resolve, not through words, but through your spirit!" This man isn’t taking you seriously at all it seems. Prove yourself to Ernie Ford, show your general prowess and the lengths you are willing to go for your objective!
???	Ernie Ford	“The closer you get to my 'Ozone Baby', the stronger the pressure's gonna get...” Your cabin is where you have to rest after this, any unnecessary damage should be kept to a minimum. Keep the players as far away from your cabin as you can!

Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!

I've been going through the seasons since they've been added to CBS all access. I'm a long time Big Brother and Survivor fan that has more recently lapsed on Big Brother. With the season being shit I decided to use All Access to finally dive in to The Challenge. These posts are mostly stream of conscious as I watch the episodes, some times with little context. Check out my posts for past seasons and a TLDR at the end. Thanks for checking these out!
I apologize a head of time if some comments go a little off base, these are purely just assumptions and first impressions a lot of times.
EP 1:
Laurel!
Oh shit, Laurel and Camila fighting. Ready for that!
CT! I love this season already!
Is this like Ruins 2? Contenders vs Champs or old school vs new school
Smashley looks less meth-ey
Jenna jokes starting out of the jump
A new Theo? Got a lot to live up to with that name rookie.
Fucking Shane? God damn, that’s a blast from the past.
I was wrong, it’s Island 2 lol
I’m...kind of shocked to see Tony again?
Actually happy to see Amanda again, hope see more out of her this time around than just starting drama. I’d like to remember her for more than just being the freckle girl.
“Hardest challenge ever.” I’ve heard that before…
I take it back, confessional Smashley looks just as Meth-ey as ever.
Aww, the clapping when TJ says the old dogs aren’t there. The naivety.
Fucking Johnny again. Give me some alliance between Laurel, Cara, CT and Darrel to get Johnny out and it will be my dream come true.
Is this the beginning of dad bod CT?
This Hunter fucker looks like he’s built like a damn foosball player
Oh, a Miz wannabe…
There are multiple people I’m seeing “2nd Challenge” on their name card and I have no damn clue who they are.
“She said it was the challenge or her, and I chose the challenge.” Chick….you chose wrong. I don’t care if the girlfriend is shit for giving you the ultimatum, but you still chose wrong lmao
Shane getting naked, yeah it’s really Shane.
In a broken ass hut, but they’re still getting catering and copious amounts of alcohol lol
Zach….You act like you’ve been away forever lol you were off for like 2 seasons dude. Also “Make the challenge great again” Fucking really? You would be the furthest thing from Challenge in its heyday. You were in like 2 of its worst seasons.
Fucking Dario, I really can’t take him.
I’m sad to see no Devin from last season. Wanted to see more of him.
This seriously feels like Island 2 lol I contend that Island 2 had an interesting concept but Kenny/Johnny and their alliance just ruined it. The survivor elements really just put a damper on it too.
“It’s a clue!” Bitch, just call it treemail!
Early impressions of Theo is I like him.
Finally, multiple color jerseys.
I have to assume very shortly everyone will be in the oasis, they won’t want to run two full crews.
Hopefully Bruno is coming in with that homeless hungry energy.
Saying there’s two teams when people are just piling dirt on a collective pile? Lol
Ashley going for herself?! Somewhere Johnny is using this to validate him taking the money from Sarah.
Hahaha Ashley just climbing through after people helping her dig haha She looks like she’s the one bringing the homeless hungry energy.
Damn, how did Cory go from dead last to second finish?
I swear Ashley was shown as being in first place multiple times, but now she’s in the middle of a huge pack.
Nelson is coming in to these confessionals like he has some kind of vendetta lol Like he’s building a case against someone. First it was how he views Cory as his boy and he wasn’t going to leave him hanging, and now he’s complaining about Tony leaving Bruno behind.
Bruno, disappointing with the lack of homeless hungry energy.
Why is Nelson so damn angry? Lol Everyone is yelling at Bruno and Tony’s the only one like “No, leave him alone.” and Nelson wants to bitch about Tony not talking to him? Everyone is, what is one more voice?
Eww, you got mud all over your face, don’t sit there and lick your lips.
Why such a short first episode?! Only 40 minutes? What is this Gauntlet 3?!
EP 2:
They’re even getting laundry service?! Lol What a weak ass Island rip-off!
Why is Nelson so damn angry?! He was seriously not this way at all last season lol
Jenna getting in on the trash talk! “We forgot you were here like 3 times!” lol I can’t tell if it’s a dig or if Jenna just literally forgot someone existed
Nelson seriously seems like a completely different person to last season.
“I’m just going to be there for Kailah to vent” proceeds to tell her how to play and what she did was wrong lol not alot of venting going on.
If this whole Oasis twist is just whittling down the amount of contenders to go against the Champions I will be pissed. If it’s just like a contingency so the rookies don’t out number and gang up on the old school players or something.
There’s something about the out and out team aspect going on that I’m liking, but not liking at the same time lol Everyone just ganging up and telling Sylvia how to vote is just weird. I’m all for sides, but once the vote comes the talking should end.
Latoya with the hypocrisy calling someone else a camera whore lol bitch you called yourself “THE Latoya” like you’re ohio state or some shit.
“It’s your vote, you can decide who you want to vote for.” Provided it’s the vote that 4 other girls are yelling at you to make…yeah, your vote.
I’m happy to see Darrel back.
Who is this Ashley chick?! Oh, from Seasons, ugh.
Ah Kenny, not gonna lie I’m starting to miss Evan and Kenny. Yeah, they’re shit bags, but they’re entertaining. These last couple groups of rookies have been trash.
Cara looking even more ripped.
CT’s baby! Awwwwwwwww
Is Laurel coming in being like the third ranked girl in athleticism of these champs?
Exile style elimination with no arena with people watching? Mixed emotions on this.
Kailah looks like she talks a big game, but won’t be able to back it up. Marie looks like she’s got some crazy in her.
With these two girls, this elim looks like shit. With some strong guys fighting the whole time it could be interesting, but this was bleh.
Bruno, back to being homeless.
This hut is going to be angry with the people returning and having earned their way into the actual game.
I hope the alliance realizes they literally just screwed like half their numbers out of their chance at the real game lol
You can tell these people are dumb rookies, or they’d realize the object is to get their alliance in the elim vs shitty people to win their ticket.
EP 3:
“I want to start a talk show. There is no millennial Oprah.” Because they don’t watch them, they listen to podcasts. You’re the worst millennial.
Of course the Foosball guy would like meth hulk Smashley.
They don’t even have to compete, this seriously is just a play-in game.
Yeah, my money’s on Jenna/Cory
CT and Darrell with their kids is absolutely adorable.
Amanda has a weird trashy quality to her, but god damn is she pretty as hell.
“I don’t care if I lose my teeth, I’m getting this bag open!” spoken like a true methhead!
I was really hoping to not see more of foosball boy.
These people still aren’t understanding the game is getting the tickets. You either win or win an elimination. Half these people are going to be real disappointed.
I feel like Cory has realized it, and wanting to go in to elim.
I’m with Theo, we’ve seen Cory’s fake muscles at work plenty of times. We saw him lose to 80 pound Christina and weird punk hipster kid in a competition purely based on pushing and holding on to a bar lol
Not gonna lie, I’m kind of liking the feel of this cast developing naturally without a bunch of vets around to control the game.
The suspense is kinda dead on this girl elim, because it showed Jenna in the oasis in the previews.
I’m interested in this guy elim though.
Slip of the tongue? “I’m going to go against her and she’s going to come back limping!” so...you’re saying she’s the one coming back but you’re going to hurt her? Lol the object is to come back, not just hurt the person. Not sure if you know this, but Jenna is an elimination god.
It’s...it’s just holding balls?
Fucking Theo. Dude… I was actually hoping to see more of you. What a bitch.
With the object of the challenge being to hold on to balls, I was expecting some kind of bounce or jarring of the person to have them possibly drop them.
I have come around on Jenna so damn much. She literally approaches every challenge like it’s absolutely nothing. Everything is easy for her when she doesn’t even think about it lol
Hahahaha they really just slowly let Theo down to be laughed at! Haha I love it!
I would love if Theo still had to jump to get down lol
Well at least it isn’t 8 vs 8, there’s one more challenge so it will at least be 10 or 12 vs 8, not like Cory and Jenna aren’t basically vets at this point.
EP 4:
Fingers crossed on Amanda being the next ticket holder and not Smashley.
The weird open beach macking is weird.
Please, of all people please don’t let Latoya get this ticket.
Ok, my money is on Amanda and Shane being the two winners here to get their tickets. This is one of the random elimination style challenges that Shane and Amanda have experience in.
Man, Nelson bothers me this season. I don’t get it, but his confessionals are annoying.
https://i.imgur.com/VvcJWiB.png Can we talk about the like 30 people standing in the background during this challenge? Lol there was more than this screenshot, but this was the best shot. The amount of people just standing around is kind of hilarious.
Shane is halfway gone and Nelson and the other dude have barely moved.
Nelson is another fucking “fustrated” guy. Dammit! What is it with this show and people who can’t pronounce frustrated. Is that the second question after “are you an angry drunk” when casting?
How the hell did this dude come back out of nowhere? Lol
Wow, that was an awesome finish.
First time I’ve seen a challenge sponsored in a while. Burger King! Jenna’s just hoping there’s chicken nuggets.
No onion rings? No deal!
Nelson with the pity party. I thought I liked the small bits of Nelson last season, but apparently Nelson in small doses is easier to take.
Darrel, don’t talk up your game. Bananas is already targeting you as number one. Don’t even joke.
Laurel doesn’t look like she’s coming in at her fittest. But I’d still bet on her in most cases.
Looks like the last pre-game elim is a mini final kinda? Sylvia already basically crawling on hands and knees lol
Sylvia got to the top, I’m honestly shocked.
I would literally jump off a plane, jump over a cliff, anything to do with heights, but running down some steep stone stairs in the rain? That shit would scare the hell out of me. There’s not the safety lines there, I’ve broken too many limbs.
All the people watching this like “Is my culture a joke to you?”
Yes! Sylvia! Shocked, and happy! I just hope she realizes her alliance she made is not only not in the Oasis, but didn’t help her get there lol
Can we just introduce a new rule and neither of these guys go in the house?
Did we really need to watch Nicole lick peanut butter off of a giant spoon?
I forgot Dario was here.
“To Jenna, not having an ex here.” Oh buddy…
Fuck, I also forgot this dumb foosball fuck
I wish I could have TJ telling me he’s proud of me each day. He looks like he means it.
Dad-bod CT!!
I know Paulie from Big Brother is eventually on this show, but it’s hilarious to me that Johnny in this last confessional before the episode ends looks so damn much like Paulie. The tufted hair, the short beard.
EP 5:
I’m tired of seeing god awful commercials trying to hype up a god awful Big Brother all-stars.
Underdogs vs Champions, nice
I literally don’t recognize this Ashley chick at all.
Does battling against your own team kind of defeat the purpose of teams?
Camila with the completely see thru shirt in confessional lol
Surprised they’re actually making it seem fair. 4 v 6 in challenges.
Ugh, I don’t want Nicole to talk anymore.
Speaking of mean laurel, can we get an update on the Cara/Laurel friendship?
Oh fuck yeah, this is the type of challenges I want to see.
I keep forgetting Champ Ashley even exists. Has she had a confessional?
Laurel and Camila look like the only ones coming in to this challenge like they want to kill people. Cara and Ashley just seem to get tackled and sit on the ground.
Darrel looks entirely unintimidated lol the other guys are hunched down ready to run and Darrel is standing casually like he’s waiting for an uber lmao
I’m here for dad-bod CT tackling people.
I’m with Tony, take the chance to knock the fuck out of Bananas.
“I think I’m known for being the most physical dominating person from the challenge” hahahahahaha Zach I don’t even think you’d be in the conversation.
I am weirded out by this casual chill CT. In confessional’s with his leg up and just chilling.
The ollyoop to Darrel!!
This may be one of the best challenges. This is an amazing way to start the actual game.
Well the last point was kind of anticlimactic.
Nicole coming on STRONG right out of the gate for Cara, Damn girl.
Zach just casually walking by Jenna saying “Hey, whats up” just feels so fucked.
I forgot how coked out Shane looks all the time. Something about his eyes.
Nicole looks like Andy Dick hahahahahahaha oh shit!
I love that the vets are just sitting by laughing at everyone scrambling knowing god damn well that they will be doing the same thing the next day lol
Ass, ass, ass for days. Maybe the assiest cast so far.
Kailah literally needing to be put in pants and in bed. Oh my god she pisses her bed! God damn.
Pissing the bed is a deal breaker? That’s kinda weak though.
CT yelling at Johnny to fix it lmao
Dude, Zach trying to talk shit about CT?! Lmao Saying he didn’t tackle anyone? Zach of all people shouldn’t be talking shit.
“I’m not drinking anymore.” “Well I’ve heard that since day one…”
You’re in the challenge house and going to throw stones at people getting black out drunk?? Lol What show are you on? This guy has a pattern of trashing on girls in an instant.
Oh god, I can’t unsee Andy Dick after Bananas mentioned it. Nicole is now forever Andy Dick.
EP 6:
This Andy Dick crush. Cara is definitely leaning in to it.
I oddly have a defensiveness for Jenna. She’s too stupid. Leave her alone Zach. She’s too sweet and dumb!
I am 100% Laurel in the background giving weird confused looks to Jenna and Zach talking.
Kailah just saying she basically rapes people…
What is this weird Nelson insanity? I already said his confessionals come off like he’s angry lol
I feel like all these mentions of Tony being sober is just leading up to the point that he breaks.
Camila trying to be a Don boss or something lol “It’s invasion sister, I could invade your game.”
Sweet Dad-bod CT is the best. Just don’t let him go out too early!
Jenna! Get out of Zach’s bed!!!!
I really can’t see Shane going this early. To bring him back after this long and he goes out like 5 episodes in right when the actual game starts?
Oh no, the foosball guy doesn’t like Kailah lol He likes Ashley though, I’m not sure what that says.
This shelter alliance is kinda dumb…
The Fortress lol Cool place, weird name.
Holy shit, this Tuk Tuk challenge would be exhausting.
Sylvia’s got more weight to throw in to it, but she’ll probably gas out way faster.
Camila is coming in to this season looking great.
Damn, Sylvia way ahead. She killed it.
Yelling boo, is maybe the dumbest thing to do lol
Really thought something was going to come of the sober Tony story.
If I look at the alliance of Smashley, Amanda, Shane and Foosball, except for Nelson I’d say this is some weird white trash or druggy alliance lmao
“There’s onlly a divide because people like you say there’s a divide.” lol You guys got upset because a few people piled fucking dirt together lol
I can’t take confessional Johnny looking like a weird knockoff Paulie Califiori… Why does he look so different in his confessionals? Did he only come in to do his confessionals after the season?
Shane is on some weird ass shit with his “Why do I care about a strong team, if I’m not here to win” or whatever he’s on lol Are you just saying you want to go as far as possible and not care about winning? I feel like his mentality is stuck back in the olden days where winning wasn’t all that much money.
What the fuck kind of high school rumor mill bullshit is this? Lol
Why does Jenna give a shit for even a second what Zach things. Girl, stop this now. Be mad about the girls rumor mongering for no reason, don’t give a shit about Zach the dude that literally cheated on you and didn’t even break up with you but just ghosted you while you were on a damn season.
Stop caring about Zach!!!!
EP 7:
Laurel, Camil and Ashley, just swimmin naked in the morning. All normal.
This fuckin’ foosball guy…
Smashley really about to get mad at Cara for randomly joking with Foosball?
Smashley is so damn insane. “Piss in your pants bitch!”
I stan Laurel. “It’s not fucking about him! It’s about you!” Thank you Laurel!
Oh, this is cool.
Wait, why is only the champs winners safe from elim? Why only them?! I don’t like this arbitrary bullshit.
I feel like Camila is giving strong winner vibes off in her confessionals. She seems so like a godfather or some shit. It’s not her normal schtick. Are all the champs just getting more care and time in the makeup room for confessionals? Also, why has Ashley and Darrel been so absent from confessionals? They’ve each had like 2 when Camila has had 20 to talk about the most basic stuff.
Good god, Nelson and Amanda looked godawful, down in seconds lmao
Why does Johnny somehow always get the best teammates?
CT stirring the pot between Cara and Bananas lol I love this new CT
Cara out immediately, so much for that.
I think I’m confused on how the points and times are handled on this lol
Sure, just go ahead and sit back and let Johnny win immunity. Sure. Perfect.
Please show the flashback of Laurel saying “How do you think Sam felt!?” to Zach.
“I’m not really a douchebag.” says the douchebag
Literally will only be happy if Zach and Ashley go home.
I literally just remembered the CT and Cara friendship that came out of Free Agents. He had a cute older brother type thing going.
“Why?” “Cause you’re making me.” Darrel is still a threat
I will not be happy if Darrel or Cara leave right now. This season will be on a sudden trend down.
Pole wrestle!!!!!! Oh Shittttttttttttttt Wasn’t Darrel in an epic bar wrestle in one of the old seasons?
Oh shit, the champ elims are all classic! That’s awesome.
Oh, guess I was thinking of Wes and Derrick in Duel. I for some reason associated Darrel with that.
“I’m here to win the money.” “Why?” “Because I like winning money.” Darrell just not dealing with TJ’s questions lol
Yeah, Pole wrestling gives me hope for Cara and Darrell.
Ashley looks like she’s barely even there. Did they give her some pain killers after the last challenge or something?
I swear if Darrell leaves I will be angry. It’s been too long without Darrell for him to go this soon.
It starts and Darrell barely even moves to what looks like Zachs full force.
Lets go Darrell!!! 1 down, let’s go.
Darrell got it! Let’s fuckin’ go!
Jenna, you’re better off. Please wise up.
Don’t you dare call Darrel ‘David’ and Zach ‘Goliath’, CT you’re better than that.
Ya’ll remember Zach saying he was probably the most physical dominating challenger? Lol
Literally the best possible outcome. I love this.
EP 8:
“In a perfect world; we go head to head in the end.” I would love to watch Darrell beat Johnny.
Camila and bathrooms…
The rumor mongers being paranoid is a funny turn. Shane is a vet, how would you think he wouldn’t hang around some of the other vets? What does him hanging with vets even affect?!
Laurel hasn’t done an eating challenge? Wasn’t there an eating part of the final on Rivals? The one Kenny had to carry Wes up the mountain after eating?
God damn they do LOVE showing copious amounts of vomiting.
Camila is excited to see some puking…
I like how they put buckets there, like anyone is gonna aim for the bucket lmao
CT and Darrell talking about it being good, the Underdogs instantly puking.
Shane talking mad shit. About to see himself get voted in the fortress.
Shane bitching at all is hypocritical. He was the one that said it made no sense for a strong team if he’s not there for the money or some dumb shit.
Fuckin Foosball is booking. Damn.
Did foosball just say he has immunity he’s not helping with the puzzle?
“It’s just curry bruh.” I love Darrell. I am so happy he’s back on The Challenge.
Hey what do you know, Johnny wanting to cause disruption and outrage.
These Underdogs continue to be hilarious. It’s like some kind of weird cult where if you say anything that everyone doesn't know about or agree with you’re instantly cut out.
Johnny continues the run of bullshit. Taking a toilet seat? What kind of weird frat house hazing is this?
Say it loud, say it proud, JOHNNY IS A BULLY!
Either you’re quitting Sylvia or you’re severely underestimating Jenna.
Dario looks like a joke like he did on Bloodlines lol Anything involving thought in an elimination and the dude is just screwed.
Jenna is a comp beast. Period lol How did Jenna come in with the best technique and just blow through it? Lol
Cara is right, they just made the underdogs stronger losing Sylvia and Dario.
Quit calling bullying, pranks! If you’re doing it consistently and to the same people repeatedly it’s just bullying. If it was reversed Camila and Laurel would be the first two people too lose their fucking minds. It’s like they forget back to FM1+2 when they were bullied and now they’re in the upperclassmens role and have to continue the bullying.
EP 9:
Well, that’s certainly a start to the episode.
Ok, Camila is at least bi-curious.
Now Andy Dick is trying to hit on Laurel? Damn, get it girl.
Wait, didn’t we just have like 2 episodes of Cara saying she wasn’t in to girls? Literally because of the same chick?
“It’s good seeing you two get along.” I love dad CT!!!
Oh, I see what it’s doing…Love triangle!!!!! Look, just cut out the middle person. Cara, Laurel, hook up!
“Amanda!....It’s funny!” I always enjoy when bitch Laurel comes out.
Camila is back with “Freckle motherfucker!!”
“It’s initiation! Get fucking used to it!” Bitch Laurel is the BEEEEESSSSSST She’s still wrong though. It’s bullying and dumb. Just because you can look at something and rationalize it as everyone goes through it doesn’t mean it’s right or ok. It’s still bullshit and bullying.
It’s so weird that they have full blown security at this point lol
CT calling Johnny out! Haha I love Dad CT. “When did I start fires and walk away?” “Are you serious? That’s all you do!” haha CT ain’t having none of this Johnny bullshit.
Andy Dick is really coming off as in love with herself. Geesh
This is a cool Challenge. Yeah, Laurel if everyone is hanging on you you just fall and take out all the Underdogs.
Aw, I thought Camila was being smart lol They talk her to unwind herself.
I like that the underdogs came in to the comp being smart and the vet guys are upset about it lol
One foot between determining the guys? What? Darrell and Johnny seemed to be taken down and then CT with the rest of the guys? Didn’t even seem close. Oh I guess Johnny and CT were both brought down by Shane.
Bummed to be losing Laurel or Cara.
So much for Johnny vs Darrell in the final lol
It seems weird that they basically have the underdogs whittled down before bringing in the Champs but then to lose two at a time. I’m not against it, it just seems like they’d make one decision and then go on to make the other decision.
Andy Dicks “Flirt” sounds like “Flick”
Laurel basically sees the situation as more serious because it’s basically her first encounter with these feelings and Andy Dick views it differently because it’s not new or special for her. Understandable on both ends.
Darrell, kick Johnny’s ASS!
Johnny, you didn’t have to wait to become the villain.
This whole weird “Who/what/why are you doing it thing of TJ’s is not it.”
Is a call back to Free Agents really all that classic? It’s an awesome battle to see these matchups.
I always wondered why no one else tried to shoot it. This barrel hole at least seems smaller than it did in Free Agents.
“I don’t think Bananas has ever been tested like this.” He was, he just got turned into a backpack and made into one of the most hilarious moments.
EP 10:
Happy to see Bananas go. Thank you Challenge gods!
Cara stopping it with her foot!
Laurel with the brutal headlock. God damn!
I think the only thing about Cara that annoys me is the socks she wears. I hate the ugly knee socks with shamrocks and shit on em.
Andy Dick smiling while Laurel and Cara 69 basically.
Laurel continues to dominate. She had the reach and size though.
“It’s hard to celebrate the win.” Laurel says as she runs away after her point and puffs up her chest lol
4 champs left and 8 underdogs seems like a shit unbalance. I continue to just be surprised by the weird decisions of production.
Andy DIck about to get a taste of Bitch Laurel. Good luck!
Side note: When did Andy Dick kind of like blend in with the underdog alliance? She was always just as hated as Tony, Cory, Kailah and them, but somehow Andy Dick never gets lumped in with them anymore.
“It doesn’t bother me!” She says repeatedly, showing it definitely bothers her.
I don’t know what’s the worst look. Shane with his shirt off at all times, or Nelson in this weird ass fucking black cowboy hat haha
Oh my god. Laurel and CT are the loves of my life. Foosball yelling about who can beat him and Laurel makes an ugly face in the background and CT waves his hand and points to himself. CT has a dad bod, but he isn’t any less of a monster.
You can tell Shane thought he had gold with that “America’s Dirtbag” line because he uses it probably 5 times.
I don’t know where the line is on going too mean or too past certain lines, but Shane really seems to me like a coke head at the absolute end of his rope that will be desperate as he has to be and would literally shiv some motherfuckers if he had to.
I am really thinking Camila is the winner of this season. I don’t know if I’m way off, but this is the first time I’ve felt this strong of a winners edit from this show the whole time. Camila hasn’t had this many confessionals and stories even on the past seasons she has won.
I wish I cared about Andy Dick and Laurel. I love Laurel, but Dick is kind of annoying.
Wait...Of all the times to not have an elimination? Seems odd.
Make pairs. CT instantly “Guys, I don’t care.”
Why is there so much of this personal cam stuff this season? People keep having these selfie videos, I thought it was just a Bananas thing at first, but it’s persisted.
I think this is one of those comps that is way harder than they make it look. Just hanging on the tubes is going to tire you out, climbing across them and then having to pull yourself up a rope?
I need closed captioning for Foosball and Smashley way too often.
Camila looks like she’s halfway to just standing the hell up and running across these tubes.
That round of CT and Camila seemed like the waves were suddenly teen times worse when they got to the flag?
Cory completely in the water and pulling himself back up? That’s tough.
“It all comes down to Jenna.” Ohhhh it comes down to the time. I had complete faith in Jenna.
TJ throwing a house party instead of an elim? Bah, get these shitty Underdogs out of here.
“Something fishy’s going on.”
Camila calling Laurel humble lmao
Underdog BLOODBATH. YES YES YES YES!!!!!
EP 11:
I don’t give a fuck where you’re from foosball! Go back home!
Holy Hell Camila is looking hot as hell this season.
Finally, they just kiss and get it over with!
Was hoping for another kind of mini final for the bloodbath.
Everyone is going to the fortress? Damn, they’re cuttin down in half quick.
Jenna: “I’m just here for the final” Damn straight, that’s what you do! Lol
Laurel not pulling punches, thinking Andy Dick is going home.
Nelson and Foosball out here seriously not understanding rows and columbs lmao
45 fucking minutes!!! An hour and a fucking half and no one is done lmao Wow people
TJ getting tired and telling people to add them up before asking for a check.
Almost two hours for the first one to complete. Good god.
Goodbye Foosball!
I literally have zero doubt that Jenna will be in this final lol
“Ashley looks like she’s in an argument with a split personality right now.” When did CT become the best narrator?
Jenna, eliminated for the first time ever!!!! Shit, that’s a bummer.
“I never went home before, so it’s a little upsetting!”
Amanda and Smashley are huge fucking shit talkers this season lol jesus.
Looks like a 3 way elim?
Seeing everyone run and then bounce back once they hit the wall will never get old.
They just aren’t realizing what the Gauntlet 3(I think? Maybe Duel?) guys did and just team up against Nicole?
Good god, it took 40 minutes and Shane telling them how to do it to realize they could get an easy win.
I didn’t realize it was a restart. Ashley fucked over Amanda for sure lmao
Looks like Amanda actually got the first one. Nicole’s so wrapped up in powering over Amanda she’s not worrying about actually being quick.
Ohhh, Nicole by technicality.
Damn, Nelson just played them both. He had that shit in seconds.
Don’t tell me Nelson gets the win and then is the first to throw a punch. Lmao I’ve said all season his confessionals look like he’s angry and has a vendetta.
EP 12:
Oh, he goes to punch and misses. Lucky idiot.
What was Shane even doing?
Nelson is absolutely terrible at confrontation, or conversations starting with a disagreement. He just kind of quietly yells the same things over and over.
Don’t show her lick the peanut butter spoon again! Dammit!
She ate moldy peanut butter!
CT trying to stir the pot between Laurel and Andy Dick lol
I feel like everyone is joking and finding this funny except for Andy Dick. She’s so mad about an almost empty thing of peanut butter from weeks ago lol
This looks like a cool ass challenge. Like an escape room, but literally.
Camila:“No yelling! CT...” “Me? You gotta lot of nerve.”
I feel like forcefully kicking the door in is kind of breaking the challenge… lol Literally the door isn’t even supposed to go that way! I feel like this would have been a DQ in the old days lol
How did CT realize the coconuts were going to fall when they opened the door? Had the underdogs already opened theirs and it just didn’t show that in editing?
At least Camila noticed it. They literally forced a door the wrong way to not have to dig in the sand. I’m usually against vets getting treatment or anything by default, but that feels like a DQ.
Fucking “Fustrated” rears it’s damn head again.
There is not a chance in hell this Laurel/Andy Dick relationship goes anywhere.
Bug in broccoli being a glimpse at Smashley in the final?
TJ tells the Champs they’re in the final, but didn’t say that to the Underdogs.
I can’t tell if Camila is being smart or dumb carrying the whole bundle of rope.
Laurel’s taken almost 5 minutes just to get all the rope over the top?
Both of these look like nothing compared to any of these tangles in the past.
I feel like these knot elims are just all over the place with editing. It’s felt like Camila was so far behind the entire time, but then she’s near done and then Laurel looks way behind. It looks like Laurel just gives up. I feel like I just want to see a standing still camera time lapse of both progress.
“Ugh, get the fuck out of here. I don’t give hugs!” TJ <3
EP 13:
In todays saga of CBS all access being complete shit: The thumbnail spoils the winner of the guys elim. :/ So much for that cliffhanger...
I’ll be interested to see how this shakes out though. Darrell really seemed to come in looking strong as hell throughout this whole thing.
Uh...I think CT is breaking this challenge lmao This looks impossible to untangle.
Looks like Darrell tried to start copying CT’s method at one point.
TJ’s laugh at CT just hanging at the end lol
Will Darrel even be able to begin to unravel CT’s mess? Lol I can kind of see why the thumbnail spoils it because once you see it it’s kind of a forgone conclusion lol
CT looks pretty gassed though, I think Darrell would win this if CT didn’t outsmart the elim.
Yeah, CT broke that shit lol
“See that, little fatso! Dadda still kick your little ass!” Dad CT is the best.
I will really be shocked to see any of these underdogs winning over Camila and CT.
Besides Cory, I hate all the Underdogs left.
I especially hate Nelson and Andy Dick now that we’re sitting here having this inspirational team chat.
Smashley has just been a series of wanting to leave. Please, god, let her go.
I love watching CT love watching this drama that he’s no longer a part of lol He just loves sitting back and smiling at the chaos.
Don’t puff up Smashley’s damn head. Don’t encourage her!
The beds look better, but the outside of the normal house they left literally can’t be beat. They had an amazing pool, a beautiful deck area and pond? This place is lame compared to that.
I’m watching the challenge, I don’t need the spiritual self reflection bullshit.
Diem :(
OK, CT talking about his son giving him a reason to live and a reason to move on is really about to make me cry.
Three damn days? Really? Can we go the opposite way? Make it shorter, not longer? Lol Length doesn’t necessarily mean difficulty.
100k each? Bananas laughs with 275k...
Predictions: CT > Cory > Nelson Camila > Smashley > Andy Dick
EP 14:
Do you want to just take the puzzle with us? It’s not that heavy. Holy shit, this chick is dumb hahaha
“Is there a triangle in the sign?” How are the camera crews not sitting there dying laughing?
How to they get the right number of triangles from the damn sign?!?! Hahaha They’re just trying to break the combo lock. These dumbass people. They get the right number of triangles and still fail.
They can’t even beat it when given the answer. Jesus christ. The producers are literally saying “Just go. Go.”
I don’t think I could understand the dumbness of Andy Dick and Cory.
TJ looks disappointed in having to tell them they’re correct lol
That’s all of day one?!?! Seriously? I don’t care what they say, these finals have become weak.
A different stray dog? Lol
I like the idea of the time buster. If you’re going to make these finals about combined times you might as well do more with that.
Horse urine fermented eggs...Really? Lol
Some times I feel like their safety restraints give them too much support when doing some of these balance type things. It’s like they can half rely on their support. Nelson is barely holding any ropes to keep reaching.
No, I don’t want to see CT struggle!
How the hell is the ASL chick the only one in the history of this show to say frustrated correctly lol
Nelson doesn’t seem to do well under pressure.
I think Smashley being able to gloat about anything is the worst possible outcome.
They solved it on the wrong post haha
“Hashtag Dad-bod” CT owning it.
Cory is a baby. He is like one hardship away from quitting.
The fear on Cory’s face when CT says he thinks it will be all night lmao He’s already miserable.
This chick and peanut butter…
Hahahaha TJ coming in saying “What the fuck?” and CT instantly running back to the beads is fucking hilarious. Calling them eating cans “partying” hahaha
“Tomorrows a new day” he says as the sky lightens behind him.
Andy Dick really seems like the worst partner on just about every leg of this final.
Camila makes all these guys look like bitch mode lol She’s constantly angry and she probably doesn’t make working with her easy, but every partner with her looks like the weak link.
The final solo segment is holding on to a bar and then swimming? I’m sorry, am I crazy? This final just seems weak.
If you would have put a puzzle at the bottom of those long ass stairs from the last underdog elim and the key to the puzzle at the top, it alone would have been harder than this final.
This last segment seems like it’s just a time to have each individual running so they can run back footage of their journey. It’s the torch walk of survivor lol
Two entire segments of the episode are dedicated to this individual montage and segment of the final. Ugh.
Cory is kind of a bum when it comes to these finals. Surprised Nelson beat him.
CT WIN!!! Dad Bod still has it!
I love CT laughing! “It’s going to be his new favorite toy, whether he likes it or not.”
I’m so tired of Nelson and Andy Dick and sad we will no doubt get more of them.
HOLY SHIT. SMASHLEY BEAT CAMILA. HOLY FUCK. That is the biggest shock in Challenge history for me. Wow, I’m speechless.
TJ trying to say they have to stay in the hut another night. Lol
EP 15:
“The toughest final I have ever seen.” Oh shush
Miz looking a bit older.
Why does Cara look pissed with Andy Dick showing up? Lol
Damn, Laurel is possessive lol
CT and Johnny loving the drama haha
Laurel really seems to be making more of this than really should be. I feel like she’s always just looking for a reason to be mad at Cara.
CT doesn’t like “Finger banged” as a term lmao
Camila’s weird dancing in intimidation is a weird new thing…
Oh god, why did they bring Foosball on the reunion?!
Camila really has a thing for see-thru
Camila’s dancing does look really stupid lmao
Nelson is fucking annoying.
Nelson you have the blessing of Johnny fucking Bananas, sit down it doesn’t mean much.
Nelson is a dolt. Cory wouldn’t even be there without him haha
Nelson is really going to sit here and let second place go to his head this much? Fucker acts like he’s a king for getting second once! Lmao
Does Miz really have to relate everything to himself and being a WWE Superstar?
So wait, Johnny actually had something to do with Smashley first possible quit rant and it didn’t show Johnny’s involvement?
Is this like the third time Cara has worn these weird Deadpool tights on the reunions?
I kind of want to watch this Champs vs Stars spin off thing. Doesn’t seem like any of the spin-offs made it to CBS all access though.
Kailah definitely had the ugliest cry.
Overall thoughts and TL/DR:
I actually liked this season. It at least had a decent level of competition, mostly due to splitting the strong vs the weak, and the challenges themselves were pretty good. I am not completely sure I understand the reasoning behind the breakdown of how the season was handled and how the format was decided, but I was fine cutting out a lot of rookies before getting to the actual game. The thing that I didn’t like and what the format did to the game, was that there was very little politics or strategizing. The votes didn’t really matter too much too often because the selection was so limited and the two teams never really intermingled in anything. It seemed about as purely challenge focused as you could get which made for it’s own kind of boring season. It was nice having a lot of these people back, but it was a bummer with the season not really feeling like a true challenge? If that makes sense. Also, as I've said: I feel like these finals have sucked. These finals just aren't the same things that they used to be. Sure they're longer, they have multiple days and grueling elements. But they're no longer a nightmare test of endurance and will. It's multiple sprints spread out through multiple days.
Please don’t bring back Foosball and Nelson.