Star Wars is easily the worst franchise to talk about on WhoWouldWin by far. At least with Naruto or Dragon Ball Z or One Punch Man there's some difference in the comments once in a while. But literally, and I mean literally, the replies of every single Star Wars thread, no matter the character, no matter the matchup, are exactly the same every single time without fail.
Here's every Star Wars thread on WhoWouldWin ever:

Star Wars character vs. other character
Round 1: Canon
Round 2: Legends

Top comment with 3k+ upvotes: Star Wars character loses round 1, but in round 2 they absolutely godstomp 10/10 times they speedblitz the other character at FTL speeds and slash them seventeen thousand times in an attosecond with their lightsaber, or they use their Planetary+++ Force abilities to choke the other person to death and while they're choking them they stab them, or they make their heart stop or rip their organs out their chest with the Force in a microsecond. The other character literally can't even hit them because they're FTL and have nanosecond level precog that lets them avoid every hit ever. Palpatine can destroy planets Obi-Wan can open black holes with his mind Luke is literally a Force God who can annihilate half the galaxy with a blink LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO!!!
Reply to that comment with 500+ upvotes: Yeah bro, this is kind of a complete and total godstomp, don't know why OP bothered posting it lol legends always wins LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO!!!
Reply to first comment, score below threshold, hidden: Um, scans?
Now, for all you people unfamiliar with Star Wars, you're probably wondering what "Legends" is. Legends is simply the official term used to refer to the old Expanded Universe content made for Star Wars, so books, comics, anything other than the movies pretty much. After buying Star Wars, Disney went and made the majority of the Expanded Universe part of its own separate non-canon continuity, meaning there's two versions of most Star Wars characters: Canon and Legends. "Star Wars Legends," or just "Legends" is used to refer to the Legends continuity as a whole.
Legends, and I'm brave enough to say this, is the single most wanked series in battleboarding history. The way people talk about it, you'd think every book is a non-stop balls to the wall orgy of FTL and planet-busting feats. It's to the point where you don't have to link any scans or post any clips: just saying the words "LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO" is a bulletproof argument in and of itself.
But is Legends crazy, bro?
The answer is: It's fake. All of it. The feats, the preconceptions... it's all fake.
I can't fucking stand Legends wank, mostly because it kills all discussion of Star Wars on versus sites. I like Star Wars quite a bit, and I'd like to see some intelligent discussion of it in my dumb, pointless hobby. But every attempt at a Star Wars thread is drowned out by the incessant drum of LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO! LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO! LEGENDS IS CRAZY BRO! It fucking haunts me, I close my eyes and instead of black it's just the Obi-Wan VS Kakashi Death Battle on loop.
At the suggestion of my therapist, I'm fighting back. This is the beginning of a series of posts where I'm going to be debunking Legends wank I find on sites like VSBW. I decided to start with Palpatine because he's personally the character I see getting the most of it. And besides, this is gonna be my own personal Order 66 on Legends wank. So who else could be more appropriate?

The Claim: Palpatine can make planet-destroying Force Storms on a whim.

When someone mentions planet-busting Palpatine on WhoWouldWin, nine times out of ten this is what they're talking about. You usually don't get links for Legends claims, but for the power of the Force Storm ability, I usually see this one posted when its brought up. It's from a book called The Jedi Path, which is supposed to be an in-universe Jedi manual complete with notations from the characters who owned it. So the quote from Luke - "it has the power to kill worlds" - is an in-universe statement of power.
So, what's Force Storm? Basically its an ability where a hyperspace wormhole is opened using the Force. It can be used to transport people across the galaxy and destroy things, which yes, includes planets according to The Jedi Path. It's a not very commonly seen Force power, first appearing in the Dark Empire comics. Palpatine creates one and uses it to do some major damage to Coruscant and the New Republic fleet. However, he ends up killing himself with the storm accidentally after Luke and Leia interrupt his connection to it.
Palpatine can create Force Storms, Force Storms can destroy planets. So Palpatine's planetary. Seems pretty clean cut, right?
Except, he can't create Force Storms. At least according to Tom Veitch, author of Dark Empire (which had the first appearance of the power). Third line. If you want to read the full 2016 interview, here it is. It's translated from Spanish, but the translation is very direct, at least for the relevant section.
Yep, apparently Force Storms are "in fact a phenomenon that occurs rarely, when the minds of two great Force users meet and struggle with each other at a distance." Straight from the mouth of God, Palpatine can't make them of his own will.
There's probably arguments you could make that he could, like Palpatine claiming he can create them of his own will in-story, but that same scan mentions him lying about how much control he has over the power, so I don't really buy his word. You can say "it's a book, why would he lie," but it's basically his autobiography. Considering he's shouted "unlimited power" at the top of his lungs before, it's clear he's kind of an insane egomaniac. I wouldn't put it beyond him. Some roleplaying guidebooks give him the power in his list of abilities (like if you want to play as him in the game or use him as an enemy) but I feel that's too tertiary to count. And really, it kinda makes sense he can't really pull them out all the time when you think about it. There's two sequels to Dark Empire where he's reborn again in clone bodies, and in none of the sequels does he try to use a Force Storm. Even though it would come in handy, like, a lot.
In any case, if you're arguing Palpatine can make Force Storms, you're arguing against the guy that created Force Storms to begin with. I think he'd know how they work.
For more evidence, here's another interview with Tom Veitch that backs up this other interview.
Basically, Tom reiterates what's said in the other interview, going into a bit more detail. He says that the intended mechanism behind the Force Storm in Dark Empire is the "meeting of two great minds" thing from before, with one being Luke and one being Palpy, with Palpy just being the one who can actually use the storm to his advantage. While he does say that there are other possible explanations, like Luke finding a Sith holocron or saying that the interviewer's suggestion of Palpatine maybe only stumbling across the power recently could work, the intended explanation when the comic was being published was the "meeting of Luke and Palpatine's power" interpretation.
I'd also like to mention the Force Storm's entry from the updated version of the Star Wars Encyclopedia: "A tornado of energy created by great disturbances in the Force. Dark Side Adepts demonstrated limited control over the creation of these storms. Emperor Palpatine claimed the ability to create and control Force storms at will. Light-side practitioners could also band together and create powerful Force storms."
This backs up the "meeting of Luke and Palpatine's power" interpretation in a few ways.
First, going back to the interview, Tom implied that things were kept kind of vague about how the Force Storm works when details had to be hashed out to other publications. So that's probably why both this and the Dark Empire endnotes only say that Palpatine claimed he had the ability to create and control the storms at will.
Second off, I'd like to point out the main description - "A tornado of energy created by great disturbances in the Force." Sounds a bit less like a standard Force power and more like something a bit more exceptional. The destruction of Alderaan caused a great disturbance in the Force, and that was a pretty major event. Also going back to the interview, Tom all but says he made this part of the description up himself. The original description he mentions being in a behind the scenes glossary also calls them "unpredictable" and seems to suggest them being more of an external event.
Third, "Dark Side Adepts demonstrated limited control over the creation of these storms" seems like it could debunk the idea, unless you read it as "multiple Dark Side adepts working together could demonstrate limited control over the creation of a Force Storm," which I think is perfectly reasonable considering the next line about multiple Light-side practicioners having to band together to create one. This final line also gives canon support to the idea of multiple Force users being involved in the creation of a Force Storm.
Yes, there are some sources that say he can make Force Storms of his own will, but for each of those sources there's also one that says it's a claim, and the Dark Empire endnotes prove Palpy isn't 100% trustworthy. Not to mention the other sources are, let's face it, pretty much on the level of WoG too. Just an author saying things about a story outside the context of that story. Do you take diluted, inconsistent, but published WoG from some handbooks, or do you take straight fron the source, consistent for 20 years (going off the second interview) WoG from the author of Dark Empire and creator of Force Storms himself? Personally, I'll take the latter, thanks. You can scream "WoG is fake!" until your face turns blue, I usually do too, but I feel this is consistent and not-off-the-cuff enough to count, and doesn't step on that many toes other than some guides he didn't even write published years after his own work. If you read Dark Empire with this idea in mind, you'll find pretty much everything makes perfect sense.
I've also seen people bring up two things in trying to say that this couldn't possibly be true: one, that we've seen other people make Force Storms of their own power in Legends, and two, that Force Storms naturally occur on the planet Tython. The thing is, we haven't. The only other uses of Force Storm needed an incredibly powerful, magic, sentient staff that absorbs large amounts of Force to pull off, which actually supports the idea that Sith need an external force or push to be able to make a Force Storm, and the "Force storm" on the planet Tython is actually a different thing with the same name.
In any case, I really don't think Force Storms matter that much in the grand scheme of things. Once again, Palpatine doesn't whip these out all the time, and its already been established that it's dubious he's completely making them of his own power, taking into account consistent Word of God, multiple sources saying he only claims he can make them of his own power, and a canon basis for it taking multiple Force users to make one. He'd probably end up killing himself if he tried to make one in a fight, and there's no other evidence to suggest that he has planet-level power anyway other than this one power in this one series that the primary author has said he can't really even do.
Besides, it's not like the power for the Force Storm comes from Palpatine even if you believe (against the author of Dark Empire and creator of the power) that he can make them at a snap of his fingers. If you ignore Veitch's definition of the power, then we're left with stuff like Palpatine's descriptions to go off of, and he explicitly says in both the endnotes and audiobook that the Force Storm utilizes external energy. As I've said, I find his word iffy, but The Jedi Path also calls the Force Storm "pure natural energy," and the previously mentioned magical staff relies on absorbing external energy to create a Force Storm. Once again, even ignoring Veitch's words, it's consistent that it's external energy being used. I guess you could say "all Force is external" though, but even then it's not like Palpatine makes the vortex, he makes a disturbance which creates the vortex. Honestly, the idea you can scale one Force ability to others is weird to me anyways. Like if a guy lifts a rock with TK, what does that say about his mind control capabilities? Could he mind control a being that weighs as much as the rock?
So if you're trying to do a VSBW thing where "using the Force Storms means he has planetary power which he can harness in his other Force attacks," no.
Finally, I'd like to debunk the idea that Palpatine created multiple Force Storms at once in Dark Empire. Post's too big to fit it, so read it here.
To TL;DR it all, there's solid WoG backed up by canon evidence that says Palpy can't make Force Storms, and even if you throw that WoG out, Force Storms aren't applicable in most standard matchups since Palpy would almost certainly kill himself with one in a 1v1 fight because they're fucking massive and he hasn't shown full control over them. His other Force abilities don't scale to Force Storms either.

Verdict: No, he still probably can't on his own, and if he can, they're still not particularly combat applicable and you can't scale his other Force powers to them.

The Claim: Palpatine is a SOLAR SYSTEM BUSTER!

This next thing I'm talking about comes from a novel called Darth Plagueis. This is the book your Legends fan friend won't shut up about.
Basically, the prologue has a highly poetically worded scene describing Palpatine's feelings after killing his master. Some of it has been misinterpreted as actually happening in the context of the story. Here's the scene.
I don't really know what else to say here, it's not actually happening. It's just a flowery description of how Palpatine feels, it's not literally going on. This was spread on VSBW as proof of Palpatine being planet/stasolar system level, I'm assuming because of these specific parts.
Yeah, this is just... again, it's not actually happening. I could go on and say what each line represents about what Palpatine's currently feeling and how its clearly just a reflection of his emotions, but I don't have to. All I have to do is flip over to the last chapter of the book, which describes the same exact scene with a whole lot less flair. For anyone who wants to make the argument that at least the quake happened because the text I linked mentions overturned furniture, it was overturned in the fight between Palpatine and Plagueis. Not by any Force earthquake.
So, yeah. It's just in Palpy's head after he kills his master. Not literal.

Verdict: Learn reading comprehension.

The Claim: Palpatine is 34 thousand times faster than the speed of light.

Of all the Star Wars stats, speed is the fuckiest of all. That's because the main projectile of the series, blaster bolts, are incredibly vague in terms of speed. The movies usually show them as like, Nerf dart to baseball speed, while the novels go as high as calling them lightspeed (they're obviously not, but that's for another post). Since pretty much all speed feats that would involve gunfire in other series instead involve blaster fire, it makes things really annoying to pin down, as well as open to dipshit amounts of wank.
If you open up Palpatine's VSBW page, he's given a speed ranking of "MFTL+," thanks to incestuous scaling, taking blaster bolts as lightspeed due to like 7 dubious statements across 381 books, and a calc of the time his Sith spirit moved across the galaxy to inhabit a new clone body. The calc specifically puts him at 34,292c, or over 34 thousand times faster than the speed of light.
Star Wars characters are fast, guise!
Alright, let me try to explain why this is dumb. First off, why would the speed of Palpatine's spirit be equal to his speed in a mortal body? It's not like he can like, fucking fly through space like his spirit presumably can. I'm also going to guess his spirit weighs less, but, that's straying into dumb territory. To summarize this point: I don't see why Palpatine would be as fast as his disembodied consciousness, and I think it's kinda weird and dumb to assume so.
Second off, here's a few lines of text I want to take a closer look at.

He had spent over a year disembodied, formless, drifting through the maddening void of the Dark Side. He had never foreseen having to transport his spirit so far across space. He had nearly dispersed forever, but he had survived, and now need never fear death again.

According to the Dark Empire Sourcebook, Palpatine traveled "through the maddening void of the Dark Side." Sounds a little different than traveling through actual space.

But in that moment, when flashing blue energy rushed from exploded flesh, the Emperor entered a bodiless transitional state. As conscious Dark Force he was translated across the Galaxy...

According to the Dark Empire Endnotes, he was "translated across the galaxy" as "conscious Dark Force," which again, sounds a little different from traveling the distance in real space as a ghost.
There's other stuff like this too, in fact a guide kinda retcons the entire thing into him possessing an aide who travels to the planet for him. Personally, I think there is far too much weirdness around this "feat" to count it as some sort of actual indication of Palpatine's speed. Force users generally don't seem this fast in the majority of Star Wars media anyway.

Verdict: No.

The Claim: Palpatine scales to other Sith Lords who have CRAZY feats, bro!!1!!!

So, Palpy can't summon planet-destroying Force Storms whenever he pleases, rearrange stars with his own power, or move faster than the speed of light. But, I hear the people scream, what about scaling!?! Palpatine is routinely called the strongest Dark Side user in history, so he should scale to all previous Sith Lords and such, right?
I can actually buy that, yes. There's tons of statements backing up Sheev as pretty much the ultimate Dark Side user, so I think it's reasonable enough to assume he can match his predecessors. So, lets look at all the high end Dark Side stuff I could dig up, and why it's all either fake or not really something you should scale Sidious to. Most of this stuff I found on VSBW. I might be missing one or two things, but honestly, they're probably just fake too..
If you're wondering about the absence of Vitiate and Nihilus, this is going to be a multi-post series, and I'm thinking KOTOR will just get its entire own post. That being said, most of Vitiate's stuff is rituals, which I think Palpatine could replicate but wouldn't really be able to in a standard matchup, and I think Nihilus's status as a wound in the Force explains his unique attributes, and as such I'm not really sure if Palpatine could replicate the things he does. I haven't really done much of the research in that department yet, though, so it's entirely possible I'm wrong.

Random Unnamed Sith Sorceress (and a Triceratops Jedi named Thon)

VSBW notoriously uses buttfuck-long scaling chains in their profiles which usually have several dozen incestuous loops stretching across pages for certain series. It's really, really hard to actually find the feats being scaled off of because of the layers and layers of scaling you need to peel away like onion skin. But, in my research, I've found that approximately 50% of "Planetary Legends" comes from this one feat. The other 50% is Yarael Poof. That'll be elaborated on later.
So, what's the feat? Well, it's about what Wookieepedia dubs "the Devastation of Ambria." Ambria was once a mineral rich planet eyed by mining companies, but was eventually deserted. A Random Unnamed Sith Sorceress (RUSS, from here on out) came across the planet and decided to set up shop, creating a massive obelisk that she performed an ancient Sith ritual with. The ritual devastated the planet's landscape, warping it and killing the native creatures by the thousand.
Alright. Ignoring that this is - at best, being completely generous - only surface wiping, and not planetary as VSBW calls it, there's a fuckton of caveats around the feat. The obelisk that was presumably necessary for RUSS's ritual took centuries to build. This isn't something a Sith can just do on a whim. They need to spend hundreds of years building a fucking obelisk to do it. Not to mention, it requires a "complex ritual" that involves calling on a ton of Dark Side energy, presumably not all from RUSS herself. Oh yeah, and, RUSS died from doing this too. Let's not forget that, she was literally destroyed from doing this.
Palpatine could probably replicate this, yes, but only after building an obelisk and doing a complex ritual. In most matchups he probably won't have the time and materials to do that. I really don't consider it something you can just blindly scale him to - or any Force user, for that matter.
However, VSBW knows this, and has a defense for it. A Triceratops-looking Jedi named Thon was able to lock up all the Dark Side evil left behind on the planet in a lake called Natth. So, according to them, that makes Thon planetary, and thus everyone can scale to it.
However, Thon's cleanup took an unknown amount of time to do. Not to mention he didn't just like, absorb all the lingering evil over the surface of the planet into himself and jizz it out into a lake. He did it by fighting off the evil spirits living on the planet for a bit, then tricking them into drawing close and ensnaring them in a lattice of lightside energy. He also didn't even fix the entire place. To quote Darth Bane: Dynasty of Evil, "the damage was too widespread for the world to ever be completely healed."
I think at that point it's not really something you can power scale off of. Saying Palpatine can casually destroy planets because a random Triceratops Jedi corralled most but not all of the lingering evil on a planet into a lake over an unknown amount of time by tricking Sith spirits is just like, come on dude, that's fucking dumb.
Also, I'd like to point out this is a pretty massive antifeat for the Dark Side, actually. Centuries of work and only a vague surface wiping feat to show for it? When you think every Force user is planetary like VSBW does, this is a pretty bad showing.

Jerec with the Valley of the Jedi

Jerec is a Miraluka Dark Jedi most famous for his appearance in Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II, a classic game starring the fan favorite Kyle Katarn. The Valley of the Jedi is a location of great power that plays an important part in the plot of the game. According to Qu Rahn, a Jedi Master, if Jerec gets his hands on the power in the Valley of the Jedi, he'll be strong enough to trigger supernovas and wipe out entire star systems.

"Jerec, the man who murdered your father, is a great evil. He searches for the location of a sacred place, the Valley of the Jedi. The Force of thousands of Jedi is trapped here. If Jerec captures this power, he will be a creature such as the universe has never seen. A supernova of stars in a fleeting thought—the eradication of life from a star system in a whisper—will be within his power."

So, what exactly is the Valley of the Jedi? Well, the backstory is that there was a war between Jedi and Sith there that culminated in the use of an ancient ritual which killed thousands of Jedi and Sith alike and trapped their souls in the valley. A temple was built there and the place became an incredibly powerful Force nexus.
With all that laid out - remind me why VSBW says Palpatine should scale to this? It's a guy drawing power from the spirits of literally thousands of Force users. There's a ton of statements saying Palpatine is above all other Sith, but I don't really think that includes when they're being amped by the souls of countless other Force users. I feel this is pretty easy to throw out for that reason.
I've seen some reasoning tossed around to try and support this scaling. Namely, that it took the power of Every Jedi Literally Ever to keep Palpatine from rising as a spirit again and just taking some new body in the last Dark Empire series. Except, it really didn't? It took fucking Chex Quest here to put him down.
Read the scene for yourself. The wording here isn't "ugh, he's so powerful I need all the other Jedis help to keep him from rising again, Palpatine is literally stronger than every Jedi ever combined put together," it's "me, and the Force, and the other Jedi will keep him from reviving." The New Essential Chronology doesn't even bother to mention the other Jedi spirits, most sources give the credit to Chex Quest, and I think it's really sketchy to try and justify scaling Palpatine to a guy being amped by thousands of Force user spirits because his own spirit was pulled down by a Chex Quest guy and kept down with the assistance of other Jedi spirits and the Force itself too. We're getting into the same territory as Triceratops Jedi putting Sith spirits created by centuries of work in a lake here, there's just too much nonsense going on to get anything out of it.
Anyways, TL;DR: Palpatine shouldn't scale to this. I can buy him scaling off of other Sith Lords, but not when they're being empowered by literally thousands of other Force users.

Aleema Kato with the Sith Corsair

The Sith Corsair is a massive superweapon ship that can pull the core out of a star and blow them up outright, though seemingly though some sort of chain reaction. A Sith sorceress named Aleema Kato uses it in one comic, as well as a guy named Naga Sadow in another. It requires the manipulation of these special crystal things that just brim with Dark Side energy.
I don't really think Palpatine scales to Sith-created superweapons. Like, I don't really see why he would? The statements are that he's the most powerful Sith Lord, not the most powerful Sith Lord including Sith using superweapons. The power's coming from the weapon, not the Sith using it. It's a serious reach to try and say that, because a Sith made ship with special crystals in it exists that Palpatine can equal it in power.

Naga Sadow with the Sith Meditation Sphere

Another "person with the thing." Once again, I don't think you should scale Palpatine to Sith Lords using some piece of fucking equipment. When Legends writers type out "Palpatine is the strongestest Sith Lord in history!" I don't think they mean "Palpatine is the strongestest Sith Lord in history (including certain Sith Lords at the time they were tapping into large reserves of power that isn't theirs to begin with)!" I'm just repeating myself at this point, all this shit is the same kind of fake.
To get this over with, the Sith Meditation Sphere is an eyeball-shaped spaceship piloted by Sith Lord Naga Sadow. It's equipped with advanced Sith technology that amplifies Naga Sadow's Force abilities to an unknown extent, but seemingly pretty high given how they describe the technology as being developed and perfected over centuries and millenia.
Personally, I think the Sith Meditation Sphere amps Sadow a lot. Like, a lot a lot. With the Sphere, it's claimed Sadow can destroy stars. I don't really think Sadow is anywhere close to that alone, considering he uses the Force to pelt a guy with rocks in a fight to the death instead of just immediately turning him to red mist with his star level destructive power. Not to mention he had to use the above mentioned Sith Corsair to blow up a star at the end of The Fall of the Sith Empire comic series instead of his own power or anything. I'd also like to point out the Meditation Sphere being star-busting only comes from one guide which incorrectly recaps the comic it's trying to recap. In the comic, he uses the Sith Corsair to blow up a star, not the Meditation Sphere. Even ignoring that or calling it some kind of retcon, it still has the same problems.
So, yeah. Same justification as the last two, doesn't scale cause the feats are amped by a superweapon thing, and I don't think the "strongest Sith Lord" statements take into account Sith using a superweapon or drawing power from some outside source. I mean, Palpatine's certainly stronger than the guys with the dumb helmets turning dials and throwing switches on the Death Star, which can blow up planets, but nobody seriously uses that to scale him to planetary.
Huh, wait a minute. Three Sith in a row can't reach star level without some kind of massive amp or incredibly powerful tool. There's almost a pattern here... almost like, maybe these Sith guys can't blow up stars with their mind or something...

Wutzek and the World Razer

These two are different, but I'm lumping them together because the reasoning is the same. Wutzek is a weird Force being that appears in a total of one comic book (and a canceled novella). The World Razer is a weird Force being that appears in a total of one mission in an MMO (and a canceled novella).
I'll talk about Wutzek first. Basically, he shows up in one weird UK story of the classic Star Wars comics. He's introduced as a bunch of glowing lights encased in a glass thingy. According to this weirdo that captured the crew of the Falcon, he's a "demon, a Force creature of unimaginable power." It's believed his kind owned the universe long ago.
In the comic, there's a statement of Wutzek's power that puts him at like, planet or solar system. Though the most we see him do is incinerate some people and blow up a ship, then grow big and fly off.
Next up, World Razer. Almost is nothing is known about this guy, even in universe. Here's his codex entry from the Old Republic game.

"Almost nothing is known of the ancient being known as the World Razer. No one has seen or spoken to the creature for thousands of years; the Rakata’s cryptic warnings suggest the World Razer is Belsavis’s oldest prisoner, and that the prison was first constructed to hold the terrible entity whose hunger consumed a thousand worlds. According to the Rakata inscriptions in the Tomb, it took the combined might of the Infinite Empire to subdue the World Razer, and an entire planet to contain its fury. If such a creature were ever released, its rage might very well shatter the galaxy."

Wow. "Shatter the galaxy?" Clearly this thing is galaxy level! Or... y'know, it's just fancy language describing how it could destroy the galaxy over a large span of time. That's at least the impression that I get from this one quote from the World Razer. Other in-game dialogue suggests the World Razer can destroy planets and stars as well.
Sidenote: There's an infamous speed calc made off this statement which assumes a literal timeframe of one day based on what this character says about it happening "tomorrow." The character uses the word "yesterday" in the same scene to talk about something that happened a while in the past, so it's probably not literally being used to refer to one day. Sometimes the word "tomorrow" is used to refer to just the future in general, y'know, like how sometimes Superman is called "the Man of Tomorrow." Or, "Tomorrowland." If you look on dictionary.com, it's literally the second definition of the word. God, I have to explain words now, fuck Star Wars wank dude this is what it does to you.
Moving on. Here's the thing about these guys: we know next to nothing about them. For fuck's sake, we don't even see the World Razer, even its in-game codex starts off with "almost nothing is known about this thing." In regards to the speed calc, we don't even know how it moves - for all we know it could warp itself places through hyperspace like the space whales from Rebels or some shit like that. Wutzek we know almost even less about, he's just apparently some Force demon from the beginning of the universe.
Why is Palpatine getting scaled to these things? They're incredibly vague, ancient powers that definitely seem to be above any Force user we've seen. Are we really getting to the point where we're saying the main villain of the franchise is equal in power to two incredibly vague characters with one appearance each, for the sole reason of "they exist in the same universe?" This is just so stupid, and in my opinion, not legitimate in the slightest.
About that canceled novella I mentioned: it confirms both of these guys as like, both being ancient Force gods. If the book was published, that'd be pretty solid evidence against Palpy scaling.

Darth Plagueis

Did you ever hear about the multi-continental feat of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. Because it's fake as shit.
This text comes from the Darth Plagueis novel I mentioned earlier:

Later it would be said by Naboo and Gungan alike that they couldn’t recall a colder winter than the one that followed Hego Damask’s autumnal visit to their world. The rivers and even the falls below Theed froze; the rolling plains and tall forests were blanketed three meters deep with snow; plasmic quakes rocked the Gallo Mountains and the Lake Country, the Holy Places and the undersea city of Otoh Gunga; and many of the egresses of the underwaterways that hollowed the planet were blocked by ice floes.

Basically, Plagueis goes to the planet Naboo, and afterwards they have a really bad winter. This has been calced by good ol' NarutoForums (the best site for VS debating) to say Plagueis can output 5.036 petatons of power!
The thing is, there's no evidence to suggest that Plagueis had any hand in this. Like, he's never given credit for the bad winter. It's just a thing that happens. Assuming he did it is like... really, really weird. He goes to other planets in the story and there's never a bad winter there after he comes. It's literally just some random bad weather, he didn't do shit, you people are desperate.

Darth Bane

This one isn't serious, I just wanted to share this cause I think it's really fucking funny.
One time when a VSBW person came on a server I was on, they were trying to argue planetary Star Wars with this. "Bane's world-crushing strategy!" Why are you so goddamn desperate? It's a fucking cropped book blurb or something, shut up. I don't know what this scan is particularly from, but its referring to something he's doing as a general, not Bane literally crushing a planet with the Force, Jesus Christ.
This is 90% of Legends wank, just nonsense taken out of context, then completely and almost willingly misinterpreted. I swear, there's a single shriveled-up little brain cell being passed around at VSBW like the Fates from Hercules.

Verdict: Either the feats are fake or he doesn't scale.

So, after all that, I bet you're wondering how strong Sidious actually is then. The answer is: fuck if I know. Do you know how many goddamn Legends books and comics there are that he's in? I didn't read that all for this thread, but I can tell you this: he sure as shit isn't planetary or fucking solar system level. If there was actually a single, solid planet busting feat for him, or any other Force user you can scale others to, you'd see it paraded around every versus forum until the heat death of the universe. But guess what? There isn't.
That's why you only ever see shit like Random Unnamed Sith Sorceress taking centuries to ruin a planet's surface or Yarael Poof and his non-feat being brought up. Speaking of that fucking long-necked bastard, I'm retconning this old post I made about him into the first episode of this series. Go read it if you're wondering about the infamous "Yarael Poof holding back a planetary explosion" feat, or re-read it if you want to see me address a defense I found, I added a new part to it.
Gotta say though, making this post kinda made me want to go through and make an actually comprehensive Legends Palpatine respect thread. The one on the Respect Threads subreddit is pretty laughable, since it's literally just a segment of the "Force powers" section of his Wookieepedia article with added commentary. All the other ones I can find are pretty dogshit too. So maybe I'll put that out sometime, I don't know.
Oh yeah, one last thing. If you're wondering about other characters you think Palpatine should scale to, like Legends Luke (everything you think you know about him is lies), Vitiate and Nihilus (explained above), and Abeloth (I haven't read any Abeloth stuff but it's probably all fake too, given Legends's track record), they're getting their own posts in the future. This post is specifically about Palpatine and C-list Sith stuff.

Honestly, if you don’t ship them together, I respect that. If JackxJerry isn’t your bag, feel absolutely free to ignore this. But I just want to share this for the ones that do/is definitely their bag. Thanks to those in PG, you know who you are. :)
Reasons Jack and Jerry Should (And Will) End Up Together
Jack x Jerry Volume 1 Jack is Jerry’s favorite target for his cult ideology pitch. “After she shot him down, the cultist turned his attention to his favorite target. Me.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 46) When upset at being abandoned, Jerry specifically asks for Jack, despite barely knowing him. “‘Not really sure. He came in a few hours ago, already like that. I can’t get him to stop crying long enough to figure out what happened. It’s really been bumming me out. Glad you’re finally here. Maybe you can do something about it?’ ‘Me?’ I asked. ‘What am I supposed to do?’ ‘I don’t know, but he was asking for you when he first came in. Before he got too blubbery to understand.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 135) Jerry wears one of Jack’s shirts. “I turned back to the cultist and noticed he was now wearing one of my old T-shirts, a plain burgundy long sleeve crewneck that was one size too small for him.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 178) Jerry is able to convince Jack to open the package from his “Biggest Fan”. Jack takes his advice despite, again, barely knowing him. “‘Oh. I’m not really sure. Somebody sent it to me. I’ve pretty much decided I’m not going to open it though.’ ‘Then why are you keeping it?‘ I consider this question for a second. He had a good point. I probably could’ve thrown it out or let the mailman return it to its sender or set it on fire, but I hadn’t done any of those things. ‘I don’t know.’ ‘You should open it.’ ‘Yeah, okay.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 179) Jack almost falls when being shoved by Tony, but Jerry helps him. “Tony shoved me forward so hard I nearly fell on my face, but Marboro caught me and helped me along.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 298) Jerry brings Jack a “Get Well” balloon and sneaks in his journal. “... and Marboro hitched a ride to do the same. The former cultures brought me an inflated balloon, red with ‘get better soon’ drawn on the side and sharpie… before they left, Marlborough covertly handed me a brown paper bag and whispered, “B.T. Dubs, I snuck this in here for ya. Snatched it up before the feds arrived to bag and tag everything.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 207) Jerry saves Jack from the hole. “Marlboro dragged in our ladder from out back and used to get down into my hole where (according to his account of events) I was literally dead and he had to use CPR to revive me… How much of his story was “true” is anybody’s guess, but I’m willing to take a lot on faith. I vaguely remember being annoyed when I heard him telling me to ‘wake up, dude’ at the bottom of the hole, but any other memories concerning the rest of that night would be forever lost to me.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Pages 232-233) Jerry distracts/beats up Tony to help Jack escape. “I hit the dirt hard, landing right in my back, and as soon as I was down I noticed something Tony obviously did not… [he] was standing in the center of an ant bed, and an army of the red warriors were climbing over one another to get up his leg. Suddenly it became clear why Marlboro was steering us all a few steps closer to the hole. He had orchestrated this.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 301) “He swatted at the ants on his leg, and Marlboro reached past me, grabbed one of my crutches by the base, and swung it like a baseball bat. CRACK! Blood sprayed from Tony’s face, and he collapsed backwards.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 301) Jack tells Jerry to go, to save himself, but Jerry takes a bullet for Jack, helping him escape from Tony. “‘Just get out of here,’ I screamed at him. ‘Save yourself. No point in both of us dying.’ He yelled back, ‘You keep going. I’m gonna lead him back the other way. He can’t chase both of us.’ Bang! His eyes suddenly got a little wider. I didn’t really want to ask, but I did. ‘Um, did he just…’ Marlboro reached his left hand over to his right shoulder to a place on his back and winched, then he pulled it back around and we both looked at the dark red liquid coating it.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 302) “I could see the ghosts of my breath, and they reminded me how Marlboro had foolishly gone out of his way to save what little was left of my life before taking a bullet for his effort… I owed it to the man who sacrificed himself to at least try and get out of this.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Pages 305-306) Jack feels guilty when Jerry does this for him. “There was no more room left in my mental vault of try-and-forget memories. I had to own it. That idiot died for nothing, and it was all my fault.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 306) Jack smuggles alcohol in for Jerry and apologizes to him, and Jerry apologizing for missing his shift. “I smuggled a six pack of Schmitz tall boys into the hospital room, per his request… After a day in intensive care, he called me at the gas station to apologize for missing his shift. I told him how sorry I was for leaving him out there and explained how I totally thought he was dead, but he just shrugged it off and told me that he thought I was dead too. He was back at work the next day.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 314)
Volume 2 It’s important to Jack for Jerry to know that he doesn’t believe he killed Vanessa. “‘ Hey, I want you to know that I don’t think you’re a killer.‘... ‘No, I meant in real life. I don’t think you killed Vanessa.’ … I could feel his eyes on me now. ‘Thanks?’ … ‘Because seriously, I don’t see you killing anybody. Even though you were a member of that murder cult. I don’t think you would. Not that you couldn’t. I mean I think you were more than capable of doing it. I bet you probably have all the requisite tools and technical know-how to be an awesome serial killer if that’s what you wanted to do. But I don’t think it’s your style to befriend someone and play video games with them and then murder them and steal their game. Or at least, if you did, you probably wouldn’t keep it a secret. You’d be much more likely to brag about it.’ … ‘Wow, this is turning into a mess, huh? Look, I’m bad at these kinds of things. I know it’s not much of a surprise, but I don’t actually have that many friends. I mean, I was kind of friends with Tom before he died. And Tony, before he died. And Vanessa, too, for a little while there. My point is, I don’t have a whole lot of practice talking to people other than customers and members of law enforcement. Honestly, I’m pretty sure my shrink hates me, too. If I said something tonight across the lawn, please know I didn’t mean it.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 20-21) Jack doesn’t feel awkward talking to Jerry. “‘Dude,’ he interrupted. ‘Yeah?’ ‘Hey, I’m totally listening to you, and I know it’s important, but I just farted and it was really bad and I wanted to warn you because I’ve been eating broccoli all day and I think we should go wait outside for a few minutes.’ That was the last time I ever felt awkward talking to Jerry.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 21) Jack indulges Jerry with the voice behind the cold drink case. “‘Listen,’ he instructed. ‘You hear it, right?’ ‘Hear what?’ ‘That voice?’ I shook my head. He gave me a desperate look. ‘Come closer.’ ‘Jerry, I think we should talk about—‘ ‘Please.’ He was being unusually serious, and I couldn’t forget that I still owed him for taking a bullet for me, so I complied. ‘Okay, fine.’ I took a deep breath, then I inched a little closer. ‘All the way over here,’ he instructed. He stepped away from the cold drink case, and I took his spot. As I rested one hand against the frame, I felt something. There was a rhythm. A soft vibration. Almost, but not quite, like a whisper. Jerry smiled and gestured for me to get closer.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 63-64) Jack lowkey defends the fuck out of Jerry against Calvin. It’s possible he still feels like he owes Jerry, but maybe he just wouldn’t be able to stand not having him around. Also he hates Calvin. “‘Of course! I’m glad to hear you’re finally coming around. Actually, there’s a very important lesson I want to teach you. See, the real reason I called Jeremy in today was so I could have a talk with him. And it’s great that you’re here, because I think you should be the one to do it.’ ‘To do what, exactly?’ ‘It’s time for us to show him the door.’ ‘I don’t follow—‘ ‘Jeremy is a cancer on this place. He’s lazy and irresponsible, and worst of all, he’s attracting the worst kinds of people. That attack this morning made it clear. He’s going to be the death of us.’ I looked back at where Jerry was standing with his head inside the drink case, then turned to Calvin and said, ‘I don’t think that was necessarily his fault.’ ‘Maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t, but I’ve got a business to run, and I can’t take any chances when it comes to safety. He’s got to go, and it has to be now.’ ‘Okay,’ I said. ‘Counterpoint: He’s still fixing the drink case. And we just lost Devon. And you and I are both pretty far into overtime for the week. What’s the rush?’ … ‘Jack,’ he said in a loud whisper. ‘Let me explain something to you. Guys like Devon and Jerry—‘ (he couldn’t help but squeeze my shoulder as he said their names) ‘—they’re not like us. You know what I mean?’ ‘Not exactly.’ ‘We’re big picture guys. We actually care about the job. We understand what has to be done, and we do it. The drink case, the overtime, those are all small, secondary problems. They need to be addressed, yes, and they will be. In time. The terrorists, though—‘ (he squeezed again) ‘—That’s a big problem. And a good manager always handles the biggest problems first. Think of the gas station as a patient in the emergency room, and you and I are the doctors. You’re not going to splint a broken pinky when the patient is in cardiac arrest. A good doctor tends to the worst wounds first.’ I fake sneezed so I’d have an excuse to back up and get Calvin’s gross hand off of me. It was convincing enough that Jerry looked up from what he was doing and yelled out, ‘Godzilla!’ before going back to work. ‘You’ve got a point,’ I said. ‘But a good firefighter always puts out the smallest fires first. Think about it.’ He made a face—one I’d never seen on a human before—then snarled, ‘A good mechanic fixes the engine before worrying about the paint scratches.’ Oh, are we doing this? Then let’s do this! I retorted, ‘A smart cheetah always hunts the slowest gazelle.’ ‘A good bomber aims for the biggest targets!’ ‘And a good survivor shoots the closest zombie.’ He wasn’t about to out-metaphor me. I read way too much to let that happen. This was my game, and I already had a dozen others loaded up and ready when Jerry interrupted us.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 65-67) Jack is relieved upon finding out Jerry didn’t quit. “Jerry wasn’t behind the counter when I walked inside. For a split second, I thought he might have quit without notice, but then I heard him tinkering with something by the cold drink case and breathed a sigh of relief.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 74) This homoerotic thing Jerry says to Jack: “I closed my eyes and focused on taking deep breaths, trying to wait it out until the itch became tolerable again, but it didn’t feel like this wave was subsiding any time soon. ‘Hey, you okay bro?’ I opened my eyes to see Jerry giving me a look of confurnsion as he puffed at his cigarette. ‘You look like you’re about to climax.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 78) Jack feels dirty for comparing Jerry’s handwriting to his Secret Admirer’s. “I made a fresh pot of coffee, cleaned up the mess around the drink case, took the photo from Karl’s place out of my wallet, and compared the writing on the back to the “Case Closed” sign that Jerry had made. Despite some similarities, his handwriting was clearly not a match for my mystery stalker. I almost felt guilty for checking.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 80) Jerry obviously enjoys Jack’s company. “Jerry came back to work around two o’clock in the morning. He told me he was bored, couldn’t sleep, and didn’t feel like being alone, but I suspected he just wanted to be close to the Russian radio. I didn’t mind the extra company. Or the extra distraction for that matter.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 94) Jack doesn’t wanna consider something bad happening to Jerry. “I scanned the area for Jerry, stopping long enough to look at the forest and wonder. Maybe Pops was on to something. Maybe Jerry forgot what he came out here for and went for a little walk. It was a valid possibility. There were other possibilities, too, but none I wanted to consider. Possibilities involving unnatural predators in the woods…” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 130-131) Jack sees Jerry half naked, and not the half you’re thinking about. “I looked over at Jerry, and sure enough, he was unzipping. ‘Dude!’ I said, averting my eyes. ‘What are you doing?!’ He turned his back to the door and dropped trou, explaining, ‘I learned this technique in survival class. It’s called ‘Bravehearting.’ You gotta show the wild animal who’s boss.’ He pressed his bare ass against the glass and yelled over his shoulder, ‘What the fuck are you gonna do about it? Huh?’ The man looked genuinely bewildered (that made two of us). He put the bucket on the ground and took a few steps away. Jerry spun around and started rubbing his scrotum on the glass next, laughing and teasing, ‘Yeah, take a look, punk. This is happening, and there’s nothing you can do about it!’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 136-137) Jerry comes out to check on Jack. “‘Because I knew you lived here, and I wanted to check in and see how you were doing after the whole… ya know…’ ‘Yeah. I know.’ For some reason he whispered this next part, like it was our little secret. ‘...barbeque-man incident.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 144) Jack is obviously concerned with how much Jerry walks and hitchhikes everywhere. “‘Wait. How the hell did you… did you walk all the way here?’ He laughed and said, ‘No, of course not. I’m not crazy. I hitchhiked.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 144) “Once Jerry had wiped the sleep from his eyes, I made a deal with him. I offered to let him borrow my Nissan under two conditions: First, he had to drive me around whenever O’Brien was unavailable, and second, he couldn’t break any laws in, on, or with my car. He swore on his life that he’d treat the vehicle like his own baby, then drove me to the gas station.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 161) Jerry believes himself to be Jack’s biggest fan (not his “Biggest Fan”). “I read the whole thing out loud while Jerry played with the gun. ‘I thought I was your biggest fan,’ he said, a little down on himself.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 146) Jerry walking with him and matching his pace is awhhh. “We tried to look as nonchalant as possible, making our way down the road in masks, me limping along with one crutch and Jerry kindly doing a slow-motion walk to match my pace.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 149) Jack sees the best in Jerry. “Did Jerry just set me up as a distraction so he could sneak out a window? No. Surely, he wouldn’t have…” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 154) Jerry carries Jack out. “Before I could express any of this to Jerry, he had already grabbed me and thrown me over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. He carried me over to the door, kicked it open, and carried me down the steps and all the way down the street to where our car was parked. We were speeding away before I could get my seatbelt on.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 158) Jack is concerned about Jerry’s framing. “‘There are people in this town who still think Jerry’s a killer. Was that part of your cover-up too? Were you the ones who started that rumor?’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 182) After some prodding from Travis, Jack goes out to check on Jerry at the compound. “‘Like I was saying: What the hell is wrong with you? Your boy Jerry is clearly depressed as fuck. And you dismiss him like his feelings don’t even matter. That’s cold.’ ‘What are you talking about?’... 'He needs his friend to talk to. Unless you just don’t give a flying fuck about nobody. Man up, call your buddy, and go hug it out like bros, cause that’s what he needs. Trust me.’ As hard as it was to believe, I was beginning to suspect that Travis might not be completely wrong about something. Jerry wasn’t the kind of guy to ask for help, and I couldn’t pretend that everything was okay and wait for him to come around on his own. I made up my mind. I was going to go out and visit Jerry at his place once my shift ended.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 202-203) Jerry is the only one [as far as we know] that Jack has opened up to about Sabine. “I brought her up. I did this to myself. And maybe, on some level, I wanted him to ask me about her.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 213) “This was not going the way I'd hoped or expected. But at least I had him talking, and that felt like a step in the right direction. So I bit the bullet, opened the vault, and told him the entire story.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 213-214) Jerry keeps Jack’s head on his shoulders at the old school. “Block and chain careened through the air in our direction like a cannonball. If Jerry hadn’t shoved me out of the way, it might have taken off my head.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 229-230) “A few steps in, Jerry stopped abruptly, held out an arm, and caught me. Half a second later, the cinder block and chain crashed into the wall in front of us.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 231) Jerry saves both their lives when they’re trying to get away from the Collector’s men. “I closed my eyes and braced for impact, but the shitty little Nissan glided over the creek’s surface. I opened my eyes in disbelief. The creek had frozen solid, and we were now atop a layer of ice thick enough to keep us on the right side of the water. The truck didn’t hesitate to follow our lead, plowing right into and through the ice, sending an eruption of freezing mist into the sky. As soon as our wheels hit dirt again, Jerry skidded to a stop.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 236)
Volume 3 Jack considers Jerry his best friend. “About how my best friend died because I was too sloppy, stupid, and lazy to prepare for war when I was supposed to.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 257) “‘It’s the decaying severed head of my best friend.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 286) The entire exchange in the dungeon with Jerry. Jack doesn’t consider a question about having an erection too personal, and the quip he gives Jerry after is… interesting. “‘Hey, is it okay if I ask you a personal question?’ Oh God… I tried to imagine what Jerry might consider ‘personal’ and scared myself. I reluctantly answered, ‘Okay…’ ​He cleared his throat, then asked, ‘Do you have a boner right now?’ I let the question linger, just in case I’d misheard or misunderstood. I wanted to give my brain ample time to compensate for the confusion. After all, it wasn’t like we were going anywhere anytime soon. But after a proper moment, I concluded that there was nothing wrong with my hearing. Just to be safe, I worded my response carefully. ‘Are you asking me if I have an erection?’ ‘Yeah. Sorry, is that too personal?’ ‘No. And also, no.’ ‘Well I do! It’s totes platonic, though. I’ve been sporting wood for at least an hour, and I have no idea why. Super rock hard. For real, I could chisel diamond with this thing.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Pages 21-22) “‘Could be,’ I said. ‘Or, you know, maybe you found a new kink.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 22) “ohh another thing would be that jack feels comfortable talking about his dick with jerry, when they're hanging upside down, jerry asks if asking him if he had a boner was a personal question and jack said no” (Pain Gravy Discord) “jack legit was flirting with him change my mind” (Pain Gravy Discord) Jack sees Jerry’s ..... again, even though it’s kind of dark. “Jerry put the cigarette between his teeth, unzipped his fly, and pissed right into the pool of blood.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 31) Jerry stays to help Jack with the carnival rush despite not having to. “Jerry (God bless him) wasn’t scheduled to work, but he stuck around anyway to help steer the drunker customers back out the door.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 100) Jack doesn’t care about Jerry’s mysterious past that Doctor Howard alludes to, or his wealth. He just cares that there are people after him. “‘Oh,’ he continued. ‘So here’s something you don’t know about me…’ He took a deep breath, stared at the ceiling, and confessed, ‘I’m kinda rich.’ ‘Good. Start paying rent for the storage room.’ ‘Make me!’ ‘Jerry, I don’t care if you’re secretly wealthy. I pieced as much together from Dr. Douchebag’s story. I know you had a past before you ended up in the Mathmetist program. I don’t really care about that. What I do want to know is why someone is looking for you, and how they know you’re here.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Pages 107) There’s [obviously] been times they’ve interacted that we don’t know about. It’s evident in the way Jack says he’s seen him cry for hours. When was that detailed in the book? Nowhere. “I’d seen Jerry go through some dark times. I’d seen him cry for hours on end. I watched him detox and relapse more than once. I even got politely evicted for Vanessa‘s funeral alongside him. I thought I’d seen the full spectrum of Jerry, but tonight was the first time I ever saw him scared.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 107) Jack is deeply affected when he finds out Jerry is unsure if he likes him, despite his denial This coupled with the fact that this poignant moment replaced the Jerry/Rosa kiss scene is quite... interesting. “Jerry answered, ‘Yeah, I know what you mean. There’s a wall there. Most of the people he lets get close to him either die or try to kill him. Sometimes both.’ Okay, that settles it. They are definitely talking about me. Jerry took a long, deep breath and continued, ‘If it helps any, I don’t think he likes me very much either.’ Wow. Suddenly, I felt pretty damn small. In the days and weeks and months since that night, I’ve wished countless times for one chance to go back to that moment so I could kick my own ass for not saying something. For not telling them, ‘Hey, I really do like you guys.’ Instead, I ignored it. I assumed I’d get a chance to bring it up again later, when I was ready. I took Jerry’s sentence and buried it deep in my mind, where I thought it would be safe and do no harm. Eventually, it would start to leak, poisoning my other thoughts, long after Jerry was gone.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 142) “yoooo there’s a reason he took out that kiss! and then he replaced it with that moment with Jerry? 🤔” (Pain Gravy Discord) Jack tells Jerry he loves him when they’re discussing the Russian Radio being rebuilt. Despite the context these words are in, it’s the only time he says those words to anyone in the entirety of the series so far. The only other person it’s reasonable to assume that he’s said this to before is Sabine. “‘No, Jerry. I love you, but you’re an addict and this is poison.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 167) “Jack really doesn’t strike me as someone to use those words lightly” (Pain Gravy Discord) Jerry’s caring reaction and defense of Jack is quite nice. “‘WAIT A SECOND!’ Jerry screamed. He swung his head around to look at me, his eyes widening in exaggerated horror. ‘Oh my god! JACK!’ He reached a hand across the counter and put it gently on my face, tilting my chin up slightly as if to get a better view. ‘Look what they did to you! Who did this to your face? Who hurt you? Tell me…’ He turned dramatically and pointed straight at Hector. ‘Was it him?! You’re going to pay for what you did to my friend!’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 171) Jack buys Jerry nicotine gum, and sort of plays off being concerned about Jerry’s health. “His gift was a three-month supply of nicotine gum. I promise, I’m not just the worst gift-giver in the world; that was actually what he asked for… It ended up being the last thing I purchased before the bank shut down my overdrawn debit card, but I didn’t care. It was a worthwhile investment if it meant Jerry would be stealing less of our tobacco products. (Also, Jerry’s health or something.)” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 240) It takes Jack about one whole night before he decides to go back for Jerry’s head. “As soon as he was far enough away to not see me, I ran straight back to my spot behind the counter, bent down, and pulled the ice chest out from where I had hidden it all those days ago. After the loneliness finally broke me. After I freaked out and went back to that spot in the woods. After I dug up the head I had buried.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 259) “The bloated, severed head of Jerry smiled (if you can call that smiling). The state of decomposition made it difficult to say. One night underground does a lot more damage than I expected.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 260) Jerry is obviously worried about Jack when he finds him and sees the state he’s in. “...I stood up, faced the man in front of me (if he was a man), and asked, ‘Jerry?’ The smile on his face faded, and suddenly he looked different. Like I’d never seen him before. He actually looked worried. ‘Yeah, man. Are you okay? What the hell happened while I was gone? This place looks like y’all played indoor hockey without me. And you look like shit. Like, really bad. Like, just so so bad. No offense.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 341) Jerry physically comforts Jack. “I would have probably kept talking for much longer, but at this point I started hyperventilating. Jerry walked over, put a hand on my shoulder, and said, ‘Dude. Take a breath. Calm your tits. It’s going to be okay.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 341) Jack has been through so much at this point, and has been so vigilant at spotting and quickly dealing with mimics. He took little-to-no chances. But when Jerry comes back to the gas station, and he’s pretty sure he’s a mimic and it’s a trap, he just doesn't care. “I took a deep breath. Deep down, I knew this was all working out a little too perfectly. I knew that ‘Jerry’ was just luring me away from the gas station. I knew that something else was going on, but I didn’t know what it was. Only that things were looking too positive. It felt just like a trap. And I didn’t care. ‘Hey, Jerry?’ ‘Yeah, man?’ ‘It’s good to have you back.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 344) Jerry doesn’t ask questions or waste time, he just lets Jack know the Calvary is on the way. “The message was short, but it conveyed all the urgency of Casper Van Dien in only three letters: ‘SOS.’... I grabbed my phone off the sink, turned off the flashlight, and read the text message that had just appeared on the screen. A response to my distress call. Just as communicative in just as many letters: ‘OMW.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Pages 358-359) Jack and Jerry are roommates at the end. It’s clear that this definitely is a set-up for, well, something. “Or the fact that I suddenly had a new roommate. Luckily, it wasn’t some crazy person I didn’t know. Just a crazy person I know all too well. I came home one day to learn that Jerry’s been staying in my spare bedroom for some time now—ever since, as he put it, ‘The Mathmetists came back.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 411) As far as we know, Jerry and Jack are the only two people who remember the events of Volume Three. “I was sitting behind the counter one otherwise quiet night, restarting my blog for the third (and hopefully final) time, when out of the blue, Jerry started laughing to himself. I asked him what was so funny, but he just kept shaking his head. Finally, after I’d given up, he looked at me and asked, ‘Do you really want to know?’ ​‘Yeah.’ ‘Do you really, really wanna know?’ ‘Yes?’ ​He lowered his voice to a barely audible whisper, then said three simple words before running outside, flailing his arms like Kermit the Frog. Those words lingered after he’d gone, haunting the gas station. Those three words that could only mean one thing—our patch-job on reality might not hold as well as we’d hoped. Those three words: ‘I remember everything.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 413)
General/Miscellaneous Jack worries about Jerry. “‘Jerry? Why? What’s wrong?’ ‘I’m worried about him. He’s been really sick ever since the funeral.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 206-207) “‘I’m here because I’m worried about you. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to wallow alone all the time, and I wanted to come and give you some company. Trust me, it helps to have somebody to talk to.’ ‘What?’ ‘We can talk about anything you want. It doesn’t have to be deep. It can just be two guys having a conversation.’ He raised an eyebrow and said with a confused frown, ‘That’s so sweet?’ ‘Look, I don’t like how sappy this Hallmark moment feels either, okay? And I’m not going to pretend to know what you’re going through. I can’t describe the beetle in your box. But I do know what it’s like to lose someone you care deeply about. To build your entire world around another person so that when they’re gone, you don’t know how to make sense of what’s left. I know what it’s like to lose somebody you love.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 212-213) “...but I was happy to know Jerry had found a way to stay busy that didn’t involve swords or drugs.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 55) Jerry is very ride-or-die when it comes to Jack. “‘Jerry, listen. I want to go check something out, but it might not be legal. There’s a good chance it won’t be all that safe either. If you think it’s a bad idea, I’ll understand and we can stay here and play video games, but something tells me there are answers out there and I’m so tired of not knowing what’s going on.’ He took the Wiimote out of my hand, tossed it onto the couch, then said in a serious voice, ‘I’m in. You had me at ‘Jerry, listen.’’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 147-148) “‘Jerry, listen closely.’ I kept my voice low. ‘We have to kill Donald Glover.’ ‘Okay!” he said, hopping back to his feet. ‘Let’s do this. How?’ Jesus, he doesn’t even need an explanation or anything. ‘We need to cut off his head.’ ‘Nice.’ Just like that, I had one ally on board…” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 286) Jack and Jerry have a sense of trust in each other, though it takes time to build. “There was an intense smile on Jerry’s masked face. With his finger on the trigger, he whispered, ‘Do you trust me?’ ‘No, not really.’ ‘Well, you’d better start.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 154) “‘If he’s anywhere near the gas station, you boys need to hunker down and pray, because that son of a bitch can look like anyone, and he’ll take whatever form you’re most likely to trust. He’s an agony-parasite and empath. You understand?’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 285) “I felt somebody grabbing me and pulling my body into the gas station. I could hear Jerry’s voice right above me. ‘Dude, are you okay?’ He dropped me onto my back in the hallway. ‘I’m fine.’ ‘Why are your eyes closed?’ ‘There’s a demon trying to trick me into opening them.’ ‘I think he’s gone now. You can open your eyes. If you want.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 318) “‘I know! This sucks donkey balls. That’s why I came to you, because you’re the only person in the world who I trust with this.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 167) “1. Always listen to the head in the box.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 279) The amount of times Jerry has saved Jack’s life, or saved him from grievous bodily harm— if you include when he’s just a head —is, in a word, staggering. 1. Jerry rescues Jack from the hole in the surveillance room. (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Pages 232-233) 2. Jerry distracts Tony. (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 301) 3. Jerry takes a bullet for him. (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 302) 4. Jerry shoves him out of the way of a cinder block. (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Pages 229-230) 5. Jerry saves him from being smashed by a cinder block again. (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 231) 6. Jerry drives them over the frozen river and saves them from The Collector’s men. (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 236) 7. Jerry informs Jack of the Benjamimics and to be wary. (This honestly counts for way more than one, but for conciseness, I’ve only given it one.) “The bloated, severed head of Jerry smiled (if you can call that smiling). The state of decomposition made it difficult to say. One night underground does a lot more damage than I expected. ‘Look, bro, thanks for keeping me around. I promise I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything.’ As he spoke, his jaw went up and down, and what was left of his tongue wiggled around in his mouth, sloshing in the melted ice water that had almost completely submerged him. ‘What is it, then?’ ‘I just wanted to warn you. That isn’t Benjamin.’ ‘What do you mean?’ ‘I mean what I said. That’s not really Benjamin. I don’t know how I know, but trust me. I can tell. One hundred percent. That’s not the real guy. Hell, that’s not even a human. It’s a mimic, and it’s here for you. You’re going to have to kill him.’ ‘Prove it.’ ‘Dude, I can’t prove it. But you gotta trust me. I swear! He’s going to pretend to care, to get you talking and see how much you already know. Then he’s going to find out who you’ve talked to and how much they know. Then, he’s going to kill you and everyone that suspects anything.’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 260) 8. Jerry saves Jack and Rosa from Leland. “The blade of the chainsaw ate through the front door, cutting an angular line from above the handle to the frame. Then it pulled away and came back in at another angle, slicing a nice, clean wedge into the door right around the locks. The engine grumbled and went silent, and then Jerry kicked the remainder of the door inwards. It slammed against the wall as he marched inside with the chainsaw dangling from one hand, a katana sheathed on his back, and an insane smile on his face. He surveyed the scene in front of him, nodded, then said, ‘Alright, now which one of you three is the monster?’” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 362)
Sabine and Jerry Parallels Volume 1 Jack feels guilt/responsibility for Sabine and the accident and for Jerry when he thinks the Man In The Raincoat killed him, when he barely knew him. “A small, unexplainable twinge of guilt tried to creep its way into the back of my mind, but I pushed it into the same place as the Kieffer incident.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume One, Page 68) “The car that ran us off the road was never found. I asked Tom directly if it was possible that there wasn’t any other car, if I might have fallen asleep behind the wheel, if I was solely responsible for what happened to her. Tom swore that there was someone else to blame, but deep down, I had my doubts.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 216)
Volume 2 Jack mentions Sabine sits in the same chair Jerry sat in. This is an easy-to-miss, unnecessary, yet extremely poignant detail. “I didn’t even notice I had another visitor until she sat down in the same seat Jerry had pulled up a few hours earlier.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 111) Sabine was Jack’s best friend, and their transition from best friends to lovers was subtle. It would appear that this is also the route that Jerry and Jack are traversing. “For most of my life, Sabine was my best friend. And though the transition was too subtle to denote a clear beginning, somewhere along the way she became my girlfriend.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Two, Page 214)
Volume 3 When Jack talks about the One Lane Bridge, he moves on from talking about Sabine to talking about Jerry. “talking about Sabine hurts, so he’ll talk about Jerry” (Pain Gravy Discord) “...until I came upon the rickety wooden deathtrap that once served as Sabine’s and my favorite hangout spot. This was our place, where we would go to about people and skip rocks and talk. Sometimes we would… You know what? I don’t really feel like talking about this part and honestly it’s not really that important and frankly it’s none of your business. Hey, let’s talk about something else, okay? How about an abrupt flashback? ‘Hey, I just remembered I still have that thing,’ Jerry said out of the blue.” (Jack Townsend, Tales From The Gas Station: Volume Three, Page 302)
In conclusion, Jack and Jerry have the foundations for a beautiful and healthy relationship together, one that blends into the already established narrative well, and gives good LGBTQ+ representation. Trust, care and concern for each other, love, and closeness. I, among others I know, would be delighted if it became canon.

It was the last day of the school year for seniors at Glenelg High School in Glenelg, Maryland, a small town suburb of Baltimore. It was May 23, 2018, and Principal David Burton was beaming with pride as he drove to work. He was about to see off another class of students whom he'd watched blossom into adults over the last four years. But then his cell phone rang.
"It's everywhere!" shouted an assistant principal on the other end of the line. There was graffiti spray painted all over campus. Burton thought it might have just been a prank, but the situation was about to escalate into a new level of seriousness once he arrived.
Nothing could have prepared Burton for what he saw. Swastikas were everywhere. "KKK," "Fuck Jews, fags, niggers," crude drawings of penises. When he turned a corner, he saw in big capital letters, "BURTON IS A NIGGER." It was on every surface. Sidewalks, the school's facade, even the trash cans.
Howard County, Maryland prides itself on integration and diversity among its residents. It's a very well-educated and affluent area and home to the city of Columbia, a planned community centered around racial integration and harmony founded during the 1950s, a time of major racial strife in the United States.
It wasn't always that way. It took 12 years after Brown v. Board of Education for the county's black-only high school to finally close. Glenelg is the only majority-white high school in Howard County and when it was first integrated in the late 1960s, black students had tomatoes thrown at them and bowls of hot soup dumped in their laps in the cafeteria. Principal Burton, who is black, took this job knowing that he would be an integral part of promoting the values of inclusion that his area was founded on to the next generation of students. He also knew well the intent of the message being sent: You don't belong here.
Janitors tried to cover up as much of the vandalism as they could, but there was just too much in too many places. Less than an hour later, students began arriving and pictures of the damage began to circulate on social media. School district officials, politicians, and the police all described these acts with a very serious and controversial term: hate crime.
Teachers were crying. Students were dumbfounded. Students of color obviously took it pretty hard. Glenelg had incorporated diversity and inclusion training into its curriculum and even that had failed to prevent this.
Principal Burton spent the morning rewriting the speech he'd planned to give at the senior awards ceremony that morning. When he got on stage to deliver his remarks, he included the line, We are not going to let this ruin your celebration. But as he left his office to head to the auditorium, the police showed him still images from the security cameras. His worst fears were confirmed: The perpetrators of this disgusting act would be sitting in that audience.
Seth Taylor sat in the auditorium with his head down, tipping his cap so that he wouldn't see Principal Burton on the stage. He later said that it felt like the principal was staring right at him. He'd spent all morning replaying what had happened the night before and kept trying to reassure himself that they wouldn't be identified.
We were wearing masks. How would they know who we were? he kept thinking. The night before, Seth met up with his friends to discuss their plans for Senior Week. At his friend Matt Lipp's house, he and two other friends, Josh Shaffer and Tyler Curtiss, worked to iron out the details of their trip to Ocean City, a beach town on the Atlantic shore of Maryland. Their parents were planning to rent them a house where they would spend the week after graduation to hang out on the beach and party with girls.
As the night wore on, the four drank endless Bud Lights and watched the Washington Capitals defeat the Tampa Bay Lightning to win the Eastern Conference Championship and advance to the Stanley Cup Finals. Josh was a hockey player and Tyler was the captain of the baseball team who was both homecoming and prom king that year. Matt had planned to join the Army Reserve after graduation and maybe attend community college.
Through the haze of alcohol, their conversation turned to their senior prank. Tyler wanted to do something typical, like supergluing locks. Someone else suggested they spray paint "CLASS OF 2018" on the sidewalk. That's what they decided to do, and just minutes later, armed with a can of spray paint from Matt's garage, the quartet was at the high school. At first that's all they did. "CLASS OF 2018."
Seth heard more spraying and that's when he turned around to see Josh writing "BURTON IS A." This is the moment that Seth still agonizes over. He later said in an interview, “I wish I said something, like, ‘This is stupid, guys. It’s not worth it. We could actually get in trouble for this.’” When asked why he didn't say that, he struggles to give an explanation. “I don’t know. Everyone was doing it. We didn’t realize the consequences.”
The entire job took about seven minutes. Every one of them spray painted something hateful and offensive. Josh wrote "BURTON IS A NIGGER." Matt wrote "FUCK JEWS FAGS NIGGERS." Tyler drew two swastikas, then wrote "FUCK FAGS," and "KKK."
After a car drove by, they leaped behind the columns in the front of the school. They threw away their spray cans in the woods and swore they'd never speak of what they'd just done. When Seth got home that night, he was all alone. His father was on a business trip, his sister was away at college, and his mother was asleep upstairs. That's when it hit him: What have I done? He began googling things like How long do you go to jail for vandalism? and Can you get a hate crime for painting swastikas?
Shortly after the vandalism was discovered, the school sent out an email about it and Seth's mom texted him to warn him about what he would see when he got there. His reply: Who would do that?
Just as Tyler Curtiss was being called to the stage to accept a leadership award, Seth was tapped on the shoulder by the school's athletic director. "Seth, you need to come with me," he said.
He was led by two uniformed police officers into the office of the school's resource officer, Steve Willingham. Steve had the security footage on a TV screen in his office.
"I bet you don’t want to see that, do you?" asked Officer Willingham.
"No," Seth replied.
"Do you know why you're in here?"
"Yes," Seth replied before he broke down and cried. What he didn't know is that the police had strategically picked him to confront first because Officer Willingham knew his family. They figured he'd be the most likely to confess. All it took was one question: "What happened?"
Seth said that things just got out of hand. He confessed that it was originally just going to be a typical senior prank, but things escalated quickly. The other boys tried to deny that they were the perpetrators. Tyler Curtiss even wished the police good luck in finding out who did it.
But then they were all confronted with irrefutable proof that it was them: students are required to log into the school's wifi system on their phones. Whenever a student sets foot on campus and their phone connects to the wireless network, the system maintains a log of their connection. Their phones had connected to the network the night of the vandalism.
Seth was instructed to remove his cap and gown. "You have the right to remain silent," began one of the officers. "Anything you say can and will be used against you..."
As he was being arrested, Seth made a realization that was almost worse: it was now lunchtime and the cafeteria outside the officer's office door was filled with students eating. He was about to be perp walked in front of the entire school.
"Can you put a bag over my head?" he asked.
"No. You deserve this," said one of the officers. Before the close of business that day, prosecutors had filed hate crime charges against all four of the boys. They believed that their actions constituted prejudice against people of racial, religious, and sexual orientation minorities. This meant they were facing up to 6 years in prison.
The prosecutor's office held a press conference that night and the prosecutor responded with an angry retort when a reporter asked if they'd considered that it might have been a harmless prank.
That is an interesting definition of the word "prank." That is beyond belief that one would think that that would be a prank. That falls into a category of hate that would never be perceived as something of a prank.
The four teens sat in a holding cell at the local police station watching the news coverage of their crime. Their four scowling mugshots were broadcast on the local news, as well as blurred-out pictures of the profanity they'd scrawled all over their high school. The only students reporters were interviewing were black.
"It’s just a small number of students who decide to make these decisions that negatively impact the image of our school," one said.
But Tyler Hebron, the president of the school's Black Student Union said that this act of hate shouldn't surprise anyone. A couple years earlier someone flew the confederate flag at a football game. Swastikas were scratched in bathroom stalls and one day after school, a group of boys had a contest to see who could yell the n-word loudest. What's worse, someone had previously defaced a baseball dugout calling Principal Burton the n-word.
This entire event caused Principal Burton to seriously consider quitting. Obviously he'd experienced racism as a black man throughout his life, but as the principal of a high school he was an authority figure. He commanded respect from the students and he usually got it. He was thoughtful and merciful when he doled out discipline. Just days before, a senior was kicked out of a senior class event at a resort for trying to order alcohol from the bar. Burton let him attend the senior picnic anyway. That student was Josh Shaffer. Just days later, he would call that same principal the n-word.
One by one the four seniors entered the Howard County Courthouse to plead guilty. Their lawyers tried in vain to argue that the state's hate crime law was unconstitutional, that they could be punished for vandalizing the school, but that what they said was protected by the First Amendment. Needless to say, they were unsuccessful.
Judge William Tucker was tasked with sentencing the four. Judge Tucker was black so the magnitude of the crime most certainly stung. But he also had a history of arguing for how young people who commit crimes should be dealt with. Some argued that they'd been punished enough already: they were banned from walking at graduation, their college plans were derailed, and all were working menial jobs in construction and office furniture assembly.
Matt, Seth, and Tyler waited anxiously to hear Josh's fate. Josh was the first one to be sentenced, and the judge made clear that he wanted to set an example. Josh Shaffer received 18 weekends in the county jail, 250 hours of community service, and 3 years probation.
Panicked, Seth's mom called their attorney, who tried to reassure her fears of her son going to jail by telling her that Seth's case was different because it wasn't his idea and he wasn't the ringleader. He would be the next one to be sentenced and his lawyers prepared a vigorous defense.
Seth had done a couple hundred hours of community service and written an apology letter to Principal Burton. He went to the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC and the Maryland Jewish Museum. He even met regularly with a black pastor and a counselor who was black to work on diversity training.
"It was the worst decision I have ever made in my entire life. What I did there keeps me up at night. I deserve whatever punishment I get," Seth said in his statement to the judge. "I have worked hard since that day to show my family, my school, my community and Principal Burton how sorry I am.
"I never really understood the symbol of the swastika. I knew it was wrong to plaster it somewhere. I didn’t learn exactly what the Nazis were doing to the Jews until I went to the Holocaust Museum. I never learned that they were mutilated. I knew that they were, like, burned. But I never learned that they had experiments done on them, were injected with diseases. The school didn’t include that. They just included the burning and the train cars."
Unbelievably he tried to say that he was not a racist. "I spray paint one racist thing and, suddenly, I become a racist? Just because I did it doesn’t mean I hate Jews, gay people or black people," he later said in an interview.
One by one in the sentencing of all four boys, they, their families, and their lawyers each told the judge that they were not racists. Tyler had turned to Jesus and attended church in the aftermath of the incident, and talks openly about his newfound understanding of racial issues through this whole thing.
When Principal Burton gave his victim impact statement, he agonized over including what he really wanted to say to them: "You did something very racist. How you don’t think you’re a racist, I don’t know."
In the end, he didn't say that or even mention racism. He simply emphasized how this affected the school community: the teachers sobbing in his office, the black families who pulled their kids out of school, seeing his 17-year-old daughter in tears over the incident.
When Judge Tucker finally handed down Seth's sentence, he didn't mince words.
"I appreciate the fact that you are now trying to show that you are not a racist, that you committed a racist act. But part of what I need to do is punish you." Seth Taylor only got 9 weekends in jail, but received the same 250 hours of community service and 3 years probation.
But the judge wasn't done yet. "A normal weekend incarceration is Friday 6 p.m. to Sunday 6 p.m. For this weekend, it begins today." It was a Thursday. His mother cried out as the court deputy placed him in handcuffs and led him away to the Howard County Jail.
Matt Lipp got 16 weekends in jail, and Josh Shaffer got the most time with 18 weekends. With good behavior, they only had to serve 2/3 of the time. The boys served their time and are now on probation. If they successfully complete probation in 2021, they will be eligible to have the hate crimes expunged from their records.
The scars of this crime are still evident at Glenelg High School. Swastikas keep showing up in the bathroom stalls. A Jewish student told the local paper that she still wishes that she could transfer to a different school. LGBT students still say they feel isolated. Students of color still feel the racism. But Principal Burton is more determined than ever to make his school welcoming and accepting. He's impaneled a task force of diverse students to come up with solutions and has made diversity education mandatory. While it may be a daunting task at times, Burton says that you just can't give up.
I don't usually include my own opinions of these crimes in my write-ups, but I have to on this one. While many people complain about how eVeRyThInG iS aBoUt rAcE tHeSe dAyS!!! I think it's the other way around. We go out of our way to take race out of racial issues. These guys called their principal the N-word and of course they and their family get to say with a straight face that phrase we hear every time something like this happens: He's Not A Racist™. I think it's bullshit that people who have it in them to do something so hateful and disgusting get to turn around and claim that they're not racists.
They are racists for calling their principal the n-word. They are homophobes for saying "fuck fags." They are anti-Semites for spray painting swastikas everywhere. They were just cowards who didn't have the nerve to say it to their principal's face. Would they have had the nerve to call me as a gay person a fag to my face or say "fuck jews" to that Jewish student who told the newspaper she wanted to transfer? Nope. They're bigots and they're cowards.
When I first read about this story, I was so glad the prosecutor had the courage to charge them with hate crimes because of course there was going to be that segment who aren't affected by those sentiments who would say oH iTs jUsT a sTuPiD pRaNk!!!
https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/crime/bs-md-cr-glenelg-teens-racist-graffiti-howard-county-20190710-nwaaqyk7nnfcrcrhe6bksmyfii-story.html
https://www.baltimoresun.com/maryland/howard/ph-ho-cf-glenelg-hate-crime-anniversary-20190530-story.html
https://patch.com/maryland/ellicottcity/glenelg-students-sentenced-hate-crime

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involvement Iraqi Irish iron Islamic island Israeli issue it Italian item its itself jacket jail Japanese jet Jew Jewish job join joint joke journal journalist journey joy judge judgment juice jump junior jury just justice justify keep key kick kid kill killer killing kind king kiss kitchen knee knife knock know knowledge lab label labor laboratory lack lady lake land landscape language lap large largely last late later Latin latter laugh launch law lawn lawsuit lawyer lay layer lead leader leadership leading leaf league lean learn learning least leather leave left leg legacy legal legend legislation legitimate lemon length less lesson let letter level liberal library license lie life lifestyle lifetime lift light like likely limit limitation limited line link lip list listen literally literary literature little live living load loan local locate location lock long long-term look loose lose loss lost lot lots loud love lovely lover low lower luck lucky lunch lung machine mad magazine mail main mainly maintain maintenance major majority make maker makeup male mall man manage management manager manner manufacturer manufacturing many map margin mark market marketing marriage married marry mask mass massive master match material math matter may maybe mayor me meal mean meaning meanwhile measure measurement meat mechanism media medical medication medicine medium meet meeting member membership memory mental mention menu mere merely mess message metal meter method Mexican middle might military milk million mind mine minister minor minority minute miracle mirror miss missile mission mistake mix mixture mm-hmm mode model moderate modern modest mom moment money monitor month mood moon moral more moreover morning mortgage most mostly mother motion motivation motor mount mountain mouse mouth move movement movie Mr Mrs Ms much multiple murder muscle museum music musical musician Muslim must mutual my myself mystery myth naked name narrative narrow nation national native natural naturally nature near nearby nearly necessarily necessary neck need negative negotiate negotiation neighbor neighborhood neither nerve nervous net network never nevertheless new newly news newspaper next nice night nine no nobody nod noise nomination none nonetheless nor normal normally north northern nose not note nothing notice notion novel now nowhere n't nuclear number numerous nurse nut object objective obligation observation observe observer obtain obvious obviously occasion occasionally occupation occupy occur ocean odd odds of off offense offensive offer office officer official often oh oil ok okay old Olympic on once one ongoing onion online only onto open opening operate operating operation operator opinion opponent opportunity oppose opposite opposition option or orange order ordinary organic organization organize orientation origin original originally other others otherwise ought our ourselves out outcome outside oven over overall overcome overlook owe own owner pace pack package page pain painful paint painter painting pair pale Palestinian palm pan panel pant paper parent park parking part participant participate participation particular particularly partly partner partnership party pass passage passenger passion past patch path patient pattern pause pay payment PC peace peak peer penalty people pepper per perceive percentage perception perfect perfectly perform performance perhaps period permanent permission permit person personal personality personally personnel perspective persuade pet phase phenomenon philosophy phone photo photograph photographer phrase physical physically physician piano pick picture pie piece pile pilot pine pink pipe pitch place plan plane planet planning plant plastic plate platform play player please pleasure plenty plot plus PM pocket poem poet poetry point pole police policy political politically politician politics poll pollution pool poor pop popular population porch port portion portrait portray pose position positive possess possibility possible possibly post pot potato potential potentially pound pour poverty powder power powerful practical practice pray prayer precisely predict prefer preference pregnancy pregnant preparation prepare prescription presence present presentation preserve president presidential press pressure pretend pretty prevent previous previously price pride priest primarily primary prime principal principle print prior priority prison prisoner privacy private probably problem procedure proceed process produce producer product production profession professional professor profile profit program progress project prominent promise promote prompt proof proper properly property proportion proposal propose proposed prosecutor prospect protect protection protein protest proud prove provide provider province provision psychological psychologist psychology public publication publicly publish publisher pull punishment purchase pure purpose pursue push put qualify quality quarter quarterback question quick quickly quiet quietly quit quite quote race racial radical radio rail rain raise range rank rapid rapidly rare rarely rate rather rating ratio raw reach react reaction read reader reading ready real reality realize really reason reasonable recall receive recent recently recipe recognition recognize recommend recommendation record recording recover recovery recruit red reduce reduction refer reference reflect reflection reform refugee refuse regard regarding regardless regime region regional register regular regularly regulate regulation reinforce reject relate relation relationship relative relatively relax release relevant relief religion religious rely remain remaining remarkable remember remind remote remove repeat repeatedly replace reply report reporter represent representation representative Republican reputation request require requirement research researcher resemble reservation resident resist resistance resolution resolve resort resource respect respond respondent response responsibility responsible rest restaurant restore restriction result retain retire retirement return reveal revenue review revolution rhythm rice rich rid ride rifle right ring rise risk river road rock role roll romantic roof room root rope rose rough roughly round route routine row rub rule run running rural rush Russian sacred sad safe safety sake salad salary sale sales salt same sample sanction sand satellite satisfaction satisfy sauce save saving say scale scandal scared scenario scene schedule scheme scholar scholarship school science scientific scientist scope score scream screen script sea search season seat second secret secretary section sector secure security see seed seek seem segment seize select selection self sell Senate senator send senior sense sensitive sentence separate sequence series serious seriously serve service session set setting settle settlement seven several severe sex sexual shade shadow shake shall shape share sharp she sheet shelf shell shelter shift shine ship shirt shit shock shoe shoot shooting shop shopping shore short shortly shot should shoulder shout show shower shrug shut sick side sigh sight sign signal significance significant significantly silence silent silver similar similarly simple simply sin since sing singer single sink sir sister sit site situation six size ski skill skin sky slave sleep slice slide slight slightly slip slow slowly small smart smell smile smoke smooth snap snow so so-called soccer social society soft software soil solar soldier solid solution solve some somebody somehow someone something sometimes somewhat somewhere son song soon sophisticated sorry sort soul sound soup source south southern Soviet space Spanish speak speaker special specialist species specific specifically speech speed spend spending spin spirit spiritual split spokesman sport spot spread spring square squeeze stability stable staff stage stair stake stand standard standing star stare start state statement station statistics status stay steady steal steel step stick still stir stock stomach stone stop storage store storm story straight strange stranger strategic strategy stream street strength strengthen stress stretch strike string strip stroke strong strongly structure struggle student studio study stuff stupid style subject submit subsequent substance substantial succeed success successful successfully such sudden suddenly sue suffer sufficient sugar suggest suggestion suicide suit summer summit sun super supply support supporter suppose supposed Supreme sure surely surface surgery surprise surprised surprising surprisingly surround survey survival survive survivor suspect sustain swear sweep sweet swim swing switch symbol symptom system table tablespoon tactic tail take tale talent talk tall tank tap tape target task taste tax taxpayer tea teach teacher teaching team tear teaspoon technical technique technology teen teenager telephone telescope television tell temperature temporary ten tend tendency tennis tension tent term terms terrible territory terror terrorism terrorist test testify testimony testing text than thank thanks that the theater their them theme themselves then theory therapy there therefore these they thick thin thing think thinking third thirty this those though thought thousand threat threaten three throat through throughout throw thus ticket tie tight time tiny tip tire tired tissue title to tobacco today toe together tomato tomorrow tone tongue tonight too tool tooth top topic toss total totally touch tough tour tourist tournament toward towards tower town toy trace track trade tradition traditional traffic tragedy trail train training transfer transform transformation transition translate transportation travel treat treatment treaty tree tremendous trend trial tribe trick trip troop trouble truck true truly trust truth try tube tunnel turn TV twelve twenty twice twin two type typical typically ugly ultimate ultimately unable uncle under undergo understand understanding unfortunately uniform union unique unit United universal universe university unknown unless unlike unlikely until unusual up upon upper urban urge us use used useful user usual usually utility vacation valley valuable value variable variation variety various vary vast vegetable vehicle venture version versus very vessel veteran via victim victory video view viewer village violate violation violence violent virtually virtue virus visible vision visit visitor visual vital voice volume volunteer vote voter vs vulnerable wage wait wake walk wall wander want war warm warn warning wash waste watch water wave way we weak wealth wealthy weapon wear weather wedding week weekend weekly weigh weight welcome welfare well west western wet what whatever wheel when whenever where whereas whether which while whisper white who whole whom whose why wide widely widespread wife wild will willing win wind window wine wing winner winter wipe wire wisdom wise wish with withdraw within without witness woman wonder wonderful wood wooden word work worker working works workshop world worried worry worth would wound wrap write writer writing wrong yard yeah year yell yellow yes yesterday yet yield you young your yours yourself youth zone

3000 most common words in the English lexicon
a abandon ability able abortion about above abroad absence absolute absolutely absorb abuse academic accept access accident accompany accomplish according account accurate accuse achieve achievement acid acknowledge acquire across act action active activist activity actor actress actual actually ad adapt add addition additional address adequate adjust adjustment administration administrator admire admission admit adolescent adopt adult advance advanced advantage adventure advertising advice advise adviser advocate affair affect afford afraid African African-American after afternoon again against age agency agenda agent aggressive ago agree agreement agricultural ah ahead aid aide AIDS aim air aircraft airline airport album alcohol alive all alliance allow ally almost alone along already also alter alternative although always AM amazing American among amount analysis analyst analyze ancient and anger angle angry animal anniversary announce annual another answer anticipate anxiety any anybody anymore anyone anything anyway anywhere apart apartment apparent apparently appeal appear appearance apple application apply appoint appointment appreciate approach appropriate approval approve approximately Arab architect area argue argument arise arm armed army around arrange arrangement arrest arrival arrive art article artist artistic as Asian aside ask asleep aspect assault assert assess assessment asset assign assignment assist assistance assistant associate association assume assumption assure at athlete athletic atmosphere attach attack attempt attend attention attitude attorney attract attractive attribute audience author authority auto available average avoid award aware awareness away awful baby back background bad badly bag bake balance ball ban band bank bar barely barrel barrier base baseball basic basically basis basket basketball bathroom battery battle be beach bean bear beat beautiful beauty because become bed bedroom beer before begin beginning behavior behind being belief believe bell belong below belt bench bend beneath benefit beside besides best bet better between beyond Bible big bike bill billion bind biological bird birth birthday bit bite black blade blame blanket blind block blood blow blue board boat body bomb bombing bond bone book boom boot border born borrow boss both bother bottle bottom boundary bowl box boy boyfriend brain branch brand bread break breakfast breast breath breathe brick bridge brief briefly bright brilliant bring British broad broken brother brown brush buck budget build building bullet bunch burden burn bury bus business busy but butter button buy buyer by cabin cabinet cable cake calculate call camera camp campaign campus can Canadian cancer candidate cap capability capable capacity capital captain capture car carbon card care career careful carefully carrier carry case cash cast cat catch category Catholic cause ceiling celebrate celebration celebrity cell center central century CEO ceremony certain certainly chain chair chairman challenge chamber champion championship chance change changing channel chapter character characteristic characterize charge charity chart chase cheap check cheek cheese chef chemical chest chicken chief child childhood Chinese chip chocolate choice cholesterol choose Christian Christmas church cigarette circle circumstance cite citizen city civil civilian claim class classic classroom clean clear clearly client climate climb clinic clinical clock close closely closer clothes clothing cloud club clue cluster coach coal coalition coast coat code coffee cognitive cold collapse colleague collect collection collective college colonial color column combination combine come comedy comfort comfortable command commander comment commercial commission commit commitment committee common communicate communication community company compare comparison compete competition competitive competitor complain complaint complete completely complex complicated component compose composition comprehensive computer concentrate concentration concept concern concerned concert conclude conclusion concrete condition conduct conference confidence confident confirm conflict confront confusion Congress congressional connect connection consciousness consensus consequence conservative consider considerable consideration consist consistent constant constantly constitute constitutional construct construction consultant consume consumer consumption contact contain container contemporary content contest context continue continued contract contrast contribute contribution control controversial controversy convention conventional conversation convert conviction convince cook cookie cooking cool cooperation cop cope copy core corn corner corporate corporation correct correspondent cost cotton couch could council counselor count counter country county couple courage course court cousin cover coverage cow crack craft crash crazy cream create creation creative creature credit crew crime criminal crisis criteria critic critical criticism criticize crop cross crowd crucial cry cultural culture cup curious current currently curriculum custom customer cut cycle dad daily damage dance danger dangerous dare dark darkness data date daughter day dead deal dealer dear death debate debt decade decide decision deck declare decline decrease deep deeply deer defeat defend defendant defense defensive deficit define definitely definition degree delay deliver delivery demand democracy Democrat democratic demonstrate demonstration deny department depend dependent depending depict depression depth deputy derive describe description desert deserve design designer desire desk desperate despite destroy destruction detail detailed detect determine develop developing development device devote dialogue die diet differ difference different differently difficult difficulty dig digital dimension dining dinner direct direction directly director dirt dirty disability disagree disappear disaster discipline discourse discover discovery discrimination discuss discussion disease dish dismiss disorder display dispute distance distant distinct distinction distinguish distribute distribution district diverse diversity divide division divorce DNA do doctor document dog domestic dominant dominate door double doubt down downtown dozen draft drag drama dramatic dramatically draw drawing dream dress drink drive driver drop drug dry due during dust duty each eager ear early earn earnings earth ease easily east eastern easy eat economic economics economist economy edge edition editor educate education educational educator effect effective effectively efficiency efficient effort egg eight either elderly elect election electric electricity electronic element elementary eliminate elite else elsewhere e-mail embrace emerge emergency emission emotion emotional emphasis emphasize employ employee employer employment empty enable encounter encourage end enemy energy enforcement engage engine engineer engineering English enhance enjoy enormous enough ensure enter enterprise entertainment entire entirely entrance entry environment environmental episode equal equally equipment era error escape especially essay essential essentially establish establishment estate estimate etc ethics ethnic European evaluate evaluation even evening event eventually ever every everybody everyday everyone everything everywhere evidence evolution evolve exact exactly examination examine example exceed excellent except exception exchange exciting executive exercise exhibit exhibition exist existence existing expand expansion expect expectation expense expensive experience experiment expert explain explanation explode explore explosion expose exposure express expression extend extension extensive extent external extra extraordinary extreme extremely eye fabric face facility fact factor factory faculty fade fail failure fair fairly faith fall false familiar family famous fan fantasy far farm farmer fashion fast fat fate father fault favor favorite fear feature federal fee feed feel feeling fellow female fence few fewer fiber fiction field fifteen fifth fifty fight fighter fighting figure file fill film final finally finance financial find finding fine finger finish fire firm first fish fishing fit fitness five fix flag flame flat flavor flee flesh flight float floor flow flower fly focus folk follow following food foot football for force foreign forest forever forget form formal formation former formula forth fortune forward found foundation founder four fourth frame framework free freedom freeze French frequency frequent frequently fresh friend friendly friendship from front fruit frustration fuel full fully fun function fund fundamental funding funeral funny furniture furthermore future gain galaxy gallery game gang gap garage garden garlic gas gate gather gay gaze gear gender gene general generally generate generation genetic gentleman gently German gesture get ghost giant gift gifted girl girlfriend give given glad glance glass global glove go goal God gold golden golf good government governor grab grade gradually graduate grain grand grandfather grandmother grant grass grave gray great greatest green grocery ground group grow growing growth guarantee guard guess guest guide guideline guilty gun guy habit habitat hair half hall hand handful handle hang happen happy hard hardly hat hate have he head headline headquarters health healthy hear hearing heart heat heaven heavily heavy heel height helicopter hell hello help helpful her here heritage hero herself hey hi hide high highlight highly highway hill him himself hip hire his historian historic historical history hit hold hole holiday holy home homeless honest honey honor hope horizon horror horse hospital host hot hotel hour house household housing how however huge human humor hundred hungry hunter hunting hurt husband hypothesis I ice idea ideal identification identify identity ie if ignore ill illegal illness illustrate image imagination imagine immediate immediately immigrant immigration impact implement implication imply importance important impose impossible impress impression impressive improve improvement in incentive incident include including income incorporate increase increased increasing increasingly incredible indeed independence independent index Indian indicate indication individual industrial industry infant infection inflation influence inform information ingredient initial initially initiative injury inner innocent inquiry inside insight insist inspire install instance instead institution institutional instruction instructor instrument insurance intellectual intelligence intend intense intensity intention interaction interest interested interesting internal international Internet interpret interpretation intervention interview into introduce introduction invasion invest investigate investigation investigator investment investor invite involve involved involvement Iraqi Irish iron Islamic island Israeli issue it Italian item its itself jacket jail Japanese jet Jew Jewish job join joint joke journal journalist journey joy judge judgment juice jump junior jury just justice justify keep key kick kid kill killer killing kind king kiss kitchen knee knife knock know knowledge lab label labor laboratory lack lady lake land landscape language lap large largely last late later Latin latter laugh launch law lawn lawsuit lawyer lay layer lead leader leadership leading leaf league lean learn learning least leather leave left leg legacy legal legend legislation legitimate lemon length less lesson let letter level liberal library license lie life lifestyle lifetime lift light like likely limit limitation limited line link lip list listen literally literary literature little live living load loan local locate location lock long long-term look loose lose loss lost lot lots loud love lovely lover low lower luck lucky lunch lung machine mad magazine mail main mainly maintain maintenance major majority make maker makeup male mall man manage management manager manner manufacturer manufacturing many map margin mark market marketing marriage married marry mask mass massive master match material math matter may maybe mayor me meal mean meaning meanwhile measure measurement meat mechanism media medical medication medicine medium meet meeting member membership memory mental mention menu mere merely mess message metal meter method Mexican middle might military milk million mind mine minister minor minority minute miracle mirror miss missile mission mistake mix mixture mm-hmm mode model moderate modern modest mom moment money monitor month mood moon moral more moreover morning mortgage most mostly mother motion motivation motor mount mountain mouse mouth move movement movie Mr Mrs Ms much multiple murder muscle museum music musical musician Muslim must mutual my myself mystery myth naked name narrative narrow nation national native natural naturally nature near nearby nearly necessarily necessary neck need negative negotiate negotiation neighbor neighborhood neither nerve nervous net network never nevertheless new newly news newspaper next nice night nine no nobody nod noise nomination none nonetheless nor normal normally north northern nose not note nothing notice notion novel now nowhere n't nuclear number numerous nurse nut object objective obligation observation observe observer obtain obvious obviously occasion occasionally occupation occupy occur ocean odd odds of off offense offensive offer office officer official often oh oil ok okay old Olympic on once one ongoing onion online only onto open opening operate operating operation operator opinion opponent opportunity oppose opposite opposition option or orange order ordinary organic organization organize orientation origin original originally other others otherwise ought our ourselves out outcome outside oven over overall overcome overlook owe own owner pace pack package page pain painful paint painter painting pair pale Palestinian palm pan panel pant paper parent park parking part participant participate participation particular particularly partly partner partnership party pass passage passenger passion past patch path patient pattern pause pay payment PC peace peak peer penalty people pepper per perceive percentage perception perfect perfectly perform performance perhaps period permanent permission permit person personal personality personally personnel perspective persuade pet phase phenomenon philosophy phone photo photograph photographer phrase physical physically physician piano pick picture pie piece pile pilot pine pink pipe pitch place plan plane planet planning plant plastic plate platform play player please pleasure plenty plot plus PM pocket poem poet poetry point pole police policy political politically politician politics poll pollution pool poor pop popular population porch port portion portrait portray pose position positive possess possibility possible possibly post pot potato potential potentially pound pour poverty powder power powerful practical practice pray prayer precisely predict prefer preference pregnancy pregnant preparation prepare prescription presence present presentation preserve president presidential press pressure pretend pretty prevent previous previously price pride priest primarily primary prime principal principle print prior priority prison prisoner privacy private probably problem procedure proceed process produce producer product production profession professional professor profile profit program progress project prominent promise promote prompt proof proper properly property proportion proposal propose proposed prosecutor prospect protect protection protein protest proud prove provide provider province provision psychological psychologist psychology public publication publicly publish publisher pull punishment purchase pure purpose pursue push put qualify quality quarter quarterback question quick quickly quiet quietly quit quite quote race racial radical radio rail rain raise range rank rapid rapidly rare rarely rate rather rating ratio raw reach react reaction read reader reading ready real reality realize really reason reasonable recall receive recent recently recipe recognition recognize recommend recommendation record recording recover recovery recruit red reduce reduction refer reference reflect reflection reform refugee refuse regard regarding regardless regime region regional register regular regularly regulate regulation reinforce reject relate relation relationship relative relatively relax release relevant relief religion religious rely remain remaining remarkable remember remind remote remove repeat repeatedly replace reply report reporter represent representation representative Republican reputation request require requirement research researcher resemble reservation resident resist resistance resolution resolve resort resource respect respond respondent response responsibility responsible rest restaurant restore restriction result retain retire retirement return reveal revenue review revolution rhythm rice rich rid ride rifle right ring rise risk river road rock role roll romantic roof room root rope rose rough roughly round route routine row rub rule run running rural rush Russian sacred sad safe safety sake salad salary sale sales salt same sample sanction sand satellite satisfaction satisfy sauce save saving say scale scandal scared scenario scene schedule scheme scholar scholarship school science scientific scientist scope score scream screen script sea search season seat second secret secretary section sector secure security see seed seek seem segment seize select selection self sell Senate senator send senior sense sensitive sentence separate sequence series serious seriously serve service session set setting settle settlement seven several severe sex sexual shade shadow shake shall shape share sharp she sheet shelf shell shelter shift shine ship shirt shit shock shoe shoot shooting shop shopping shore short shortly shot should shoulder shout show shower shrug shut sick side sigh sight sign signal significance significant significantly silence silent silver similar similarly simple simply sin since sing singer single sink sir sister sit site situation six size ski skill skin sky slave sleep slice slide slight slightly slip slow slowly small smart smell smile smoke smooth snap snow so so-called soccer social society soft software soil solar soldier solid solution solve some somebody somehow someone something sometimes somewhat somewhere son song soon sophisticated sorry sort soul sound soup source south southern Soviet space Spanish speak speaker special specialist species specific specifically speech speed spend spending spin spirit spiritual split spokesman sport spot spread spring square squeeze stability stable staff stage stair stake stand standard standing star stare start state statement station statistics status stay steady steal steel step stick still stir stock stomach stone stop storage store storm story straight strange stranger strategic strategy stream street strength strengthen stress stretch strike string strip stroke strong strongly structure struggle student studio study stuff stupid style subject submit subsequent substance substantial succeed success successful successfully such sudden suddenly sue suffer sufficient sugar suggest suggestion suicide suit summer summit sun super supply support supporter suppose supposed Supreme sure surely surface surgery surprise surprised surprising surprisingly surround survey survival survive survivor suspect sustain swear sweep sweet swim swing switch symbol symptom system table tablespoon tactic tail take tale talent talk tall tank tap tape target task taste tax taxpayer tea teach teacher teaching team tear teaspoon technical technique technology teen teenager telephone telescope television tell temperature temporary ten tend tendency tennis tension tent term terms terrible territory terror terrorism terrorist test testify testimony testing text than thank thanks that the theater their them theme themselves then theory therapy there therefore these they thick thin thing think thinking third thirty this those though thought thousand threat threaten three throat through throughout throw thus ticket tie tight time tiny tip tire tired tissue title to tobacco today toe together tomato tomorrow tone tongue tonight too tool tooth top topic toss total totally touch tough tour tourist tournament toward towards tower town toy trace track trade tradition traditional traffic tragedy trail train training transfer transform transformation transition translate transportation travel treat treatment treaty tree tremendous trend trial tribe trick trip troop trouble truck true truly trust truth try tube tunnel turn TV twelve twenty twice twin two type typical typically ugly ultimate ultimately unable uncle under undergo understand understanding unfortunately uniform union unique unit United universal universe university unknown unless unlike unlikely until unusual up upon upper urban urge us use used useful user usual usually utility vacation valley valuable value variable variation variety various vary vast vegetable vehicle venture version versus very vessel veteran via victim victory video view viewer village violate violation violence violent virtually virtue virus visible vision visit visitor visual vital voice volume volunteer vote voter vs vulnerable wage wait wake walk wall wander want war warm warn warning wash waste watch water wave way we weak wealth wealthy weapon wear weather wedding week weekend weekly weigh weight welcome welfare well west western wet what whatever wheel when whenever where whereas whether which while whisper white who whole whom whose why wide widely widespread wife wild will willing win wind window wine wing winner winter wipe wire wisdom wise wish with withdraw within without witness woman wonder wonderful wood wooden word work worker working works workshop world worried worry worth would wound wrap write writer writing wrong yard yeah year yell yellow yes yesterday yet yield you young your yours yourself youth zone

I am about to post the 3000 most common words in the English lexicon. Wish me luck...
a abandon ability able abortion about above abroad absence absolute absolutely absorb abuse academic accept access accident accompany accomplish according account accurate accuse achieve achievement acid acknowledge acquire across act action active activist activity actor actress actual actually ad adapt add addition additional address adequate adjust adjustment administration administrator admire admission admit adolescent adopt adult advance advanced advantage adventure advertising advice advise adviser advocate affair affect afford afraid African African-American after afternoon again against age agency agenda agent aggressive ago agree agreement agricultural ah ahead aid aide AIDS aim air aircraft airline airport album alcohol alive all alliance allow ally almost alone along already also alter alternative although always AM amazing American among amount analysis analyst analyze ancient and anger angle angry animal anniversary announce annual another answer anticipate anxiety any anybody anymore anyone anything anyway anywhere apart apartment apparent apparently appeal appear appearance apple application apply appoint appointment appreciate approach appropriate approval approve approximately Arab architect area argue argument arise arm armed army around arrange arrangement arrest arrival arrive art article artist artistic as Asian aside ask asleep aspect assault assert assess assessment asset assign assignment assist assistance assistant associate association assume assumption assure at athlete athletic atmosphere attach attack attempt attend attention attitude attorney attract attractive attribute audience author authority auto available average avoid award aware awareness away awful baby back background bad badly bag bake balance ball ban band bank bar barely barrel barrier base baseball basic basically basis basket basketball bathroom battery battle be beach bean bear beat beautiful beauty because become bed bedroom beer before begin beginning behavior behind being belief believe bell belong below belt bench bend beneath benefit beside besides best bet better between beyond Bible big bike bill billion bind biological bird birth birthday bit bite black blade blame blanket blind block blood blow blue board boat body bomb bombing bond bone book boom boot border born borrow boss both bother bottle bottom boundary bowl box boy boyfriend brain branch brand bread break breakfast breast breath breathe brick bridge brief briefly bright brilliant bring British broad broken brother brown brush buck budget build building bullet bunch burden burn bury bus business busy but butter button buy buyer by cabin cabinet cable cake calculate call camera camp campaign campus can Canadian cancer candidate cap capability capable capacity capital captain capture car carbon card care career careful carefully carrier carry case cash cast cat catch category Catholic cause ceiling celebrate celebration celebrity cell center central century CEO ceremony certain certainly chain chair chairman challenge chamber champion championship chance change changing channel chapter character characteristic characterize charge charity chart chase cheap check cheek cheese chef chemical chest chicken chief child childhood Chinese chip chocolate choice cholesterol choose Christian Christmas church cigarette circle circumstance cite citizen city civil civilian claim class classic classroom clean clear clearly client climate climb clinic clinical clock close closely closer clothes clothing cloud club clue cluster coach coal coalition coast coat code coffee cognitive cold collapse colleague collect collection collective college colonial color column combination combine come comedy comfort comfortable command commander comment commercial commission commit commitment committee common communicate communication community company compare comparison compete competition competitive competitor complain complaint complete completely complex complicated component compose composition comprehensive computer concentrate concentration concept concern concerned concert conclude conclusion concrete condition conduct conference confidence confident confirm conflict confront confusion Congress congressional connect connection consciousness consensus consequence conservative consider considerable consideration consist consistent constant constantly constitute constitutional construct construction consultant consume consumer consumption contact contain container contemporary content contest context continue continued contract contrast contribute contribution control controversial controversy convention conventional conversation convert conviction convince cook cookie cooking cool cooperation cop cope copy core corn corner corporate corporation correct correspondent cost cotton couch could council counselor count counter country county couple courage course court cousin cover coverage cow crack craft crash crazy cream create creation creative creature credit crew crime criminal crisis criteria critic critical criticism criticize crop cross crowd crucial cry cultural culture cup curious current currently curriculum custom customer cut cycle dad daily damage dance danger dangerous dare dark darkness data date daughter day dead deal dealer dear death debate debt decade decide decision deck declare decline decrease deep deeply deer defeat defend defendant defense defensive deficit define definitely definition degree delay deliver delivery demand democracy Democrat democratic demonstrate demonstration deny department depend dependent depending depict depression depth deputy derive describe description desert deserve design designer desire desk desperate despite destroy destruction detail detailed detect determine develop developing development device devote dialogue die diet differ difference different differently difficult difficulty dig digital dimension dining dinner direct direction directly director dirt dirty disability disagree disappear disaster discipline discourse discover discovery discrimination discuss discussion disease dish dismiss disorder display dispute distance distant distinct distinction distinguish distribute distribution district diverse diversity divide division divorce DNA do doctor document dog domestic dominant dominate door double doubt down downtown dozen draft drag drama dramatic dramatically draw drawing dream dress drink drive driver drop drug dry due during dust duty each eager ear early earn earnings earth ease easily east eastern easy eat economic economics economist economy edge edition editor educate education educational educator effect effective effectively efficiency efficient effort egg eight either elderly elect election electric electricity electronic element elementary eliminate elite else elsewhere e-mail embrace emerge emergency emission emotion emotional emphasis emphasize employ employee employer employment empty enable encounter encourage end enemy energy enforcement engage engine engineer engineering English enhance enjoy enormous enough ensure enter enterprise entertainment entire entirely entrance entry environment environmental episode equal equally equipment era error escape especially essay essential essentially establish establishment estate estimate etc ethics ethnic European evaluate evaluation even evening event eventually ever every everybody everyday everyone everything everywhere evidence evolution evolve exact exactly examination examine example exceed excellent except exception exchange exciting executive exercise exhibit exhibition exist existence existing expand expansion expect expectation expense expensive experience experiment expert explain explanation explode explore explosion expose exposure express expression extend extension extensive extent external extra extraordinary extreme extremely eye fabric face facility fact factor factory faculty fade fail failure fair fairly faith fall false familiar family famous fan fantasy far farm farmer fashion fast fat fate father fault favor favorite fear feature federal fee feed feel feeling fellow female fence few fewer fiber fiction field fifteen fifth fifty fight fighter fighting figure file fill film final finally finance financial find finding fine finger finish fire firm first fish fishing fit fitness five fix flag flame flat flavor flee flesh flight float floor flow flower fly focus folk follow following food foot football for force foreign forest forever forget form formal formation former formula forth fortune forward found foundation founder four fourth frame framework free freedom freeze French frequency frequent frequently fresh friend friendly friendship from front fruit frustration fuel full fully fun function fund fundamental funding funeral funny furniture furthermore future gain galaxy gallery game gang gap garage garden garlic gas gate gather gay gaze gear gender gene general generally generate generation genetic gentleman gently German gesture get ghost giant gift gifted girl girlfriend give given glad glance glass global glove go goal God gold golden golf good government governor grab grade gradually graduate grain grand grandfather grandmother grant grass grave gray great greatest green grocery ground group grow growing growth guarantee guard guess guest guide guideline guilty gun guy habit habitat hair half hall hand handful handle hang happen happy hard hardly hat hate have he head headline headquarters health healthy hear hearing heart heat heaven heavily heavy heel height helicopter hell hello help helpful her here heritage hero herself hey hi hide high highlight highly highway hill him himself hip hire his historian historic historical history hit hold hole holiday holy home homeless honest honey honor hope horizon horror horse hospital host hot hotel hour house household housing how however huge human humor hundred hungry hunter hunting hurt husband hypothesis I ice idea ideal identification identify identity ie if ignore ill illegal illness illustrate image imagination imagine immediate immediately immigrant immigration impact implement implication imply importance important impose impossible impress impression impressive improve improvement in incentive incident include including income incorporate increase increased increasing increasingly incredible indeed independence independent index Indian indicate indication individual industrial industry infant infection inflation influence inform information ingredient initial initially initiative injury inner innocent inquiry inside insight insist inspire install instance instead institution institutional instruction instructor instrument insurance intellectual intelligence intend intense intensity intention interaction interest interested interesting internal international Internet interpret interpretation intervention interview into introduce introduction invasion invest investigate investigation investigator investment investor invite involve involved involvement Iraqi Irish iron Islamic island Israeli issue it Italian item its itself jacket jail Japanese jet Jew Jewish job join joint joke journal journalist journey joy judge judgment juice jump junior jury just justice justify keep key kick kid kill killer killing kind king kiss kitchen knee knife knock know knowledge lab label labor laboratory lack lady lake land landscape language lap large largely last late later Latin latter laugh launch law lawn lawsuit lawyer lay layer lead leader leadership leading leaf league lean learn learning least leather leave left leg legacy legal legend legislation legitimate lemon length less lesson let letter level liberal library license lie life lifestyle lifetime lift light like likely limit limitation limited line link lip list listen literally literary literature little live living load loan local locate location lock long long-term look loose lose loss lost lot lots loud love lovely lover low lower luck lucky lunch lung machine mad magazine mail main mainly maintain maintenance major majority make maker makeup male mall man manage management manager manner manufacturer manufacturing many map margin mark market marketing marriage married marry mask mass massive master match material math matter may maybe mayor me meal mean meaning meanwhile measure measurement meat mechanism media medical medication medicine medium meet meeting member membership memory mental mention menu mere merely mess message metal meter method Mexican middle might military milk million mind mine minister minor minority minute miracle mirror miss missile mission mistake mix mixture mm-hmm mode model moderate modern modest mom moment money monitor month mood moon moral more moreover morning mortgage most mostly mother motion motivation motor mount mountain mouse mouth move movement movie Mr Mrs Ms much multiple murder muscle museum music musical musician Muslim must mutual my myself mystery myth naked name narrative narrow nation national native natural naturally nature near nearby nearly necessarily necessary neck need negative negotiate negotiation neighbor neighborhood neither nerve nervous net network never nevertheless new newly news newspaper next nice night nine no nobody nod noise nomination none nonetheless nor normal normally north northern nose not note nothing notice notion novel now nowhere n't nuclear number numerous nurse nut object objective obligation observation observe observer obtain obvious obviously occasion occasionally occupation occupy occur ocean odd odds of off offense offensive offer office officer official often oh oil ok okay old Olympic on once one ongoing onion online only onto open opening operate operating operation operator opinion opponent opportunity oppose opposite opposition option or orange order ordinary organic organization organize orientation origin original originally other others otherwise ought our ourselves out outcome outside oven over overall overcome overlook owe own owner pace pack package page pain painful paint painter painting pair pale Palestinian palm pan panel pant paper parent park parking part participant participate participation particular particularly partly partner partnership party pass passage passenger passion past patch path patient pattern pause pay payment PC peace peak peer penalty people pepper per perceive percentage perception perfect perfectly perform performance perhaps period permanent permission permit person personal personality personally personnel perspective persuade pet phase phenomenon philosophy phone photo photograph photographer phrase physical physically physician piano pick picture pie piece pile pilot pine pink pipe pitch place plan plane planet planning plant plastic plate platform play player please pleasure plenty plot plus PM pocket poem poet poetry point pole police policy political politically politician politics poll pollution pool poor pop popular population porch port portion portrait portray pose position positive possess possibility possible possibly post pot potato potential potentially pound pour poverty powder power powerful practical practice pray prayer precisely predict prefer preference pregnancy pregnant preparation prepare prescription presence present presentation preserve president presidential press pressure pretend pretty prevent previous previously price pride priest primarily primary prime principal principle print prior priority prison prisoner privacy private probably problem procedure proceed process produce producer product production profession professional professor profile profit program progress project prominent promise promote prompt proof proper properly property proportion proposal propose proposed prosecutor prospect protect protection protein protest proud prove provide provider province provision psychological psychologist psychology public publication publicly publish publisher pull punishment purchase pure purpose pursue push put qualify quality quarter quarterback question quick quickly quiet quietly quit quite quote race racial radical radio rail rain raise range rank rapid rapidly rare rarely rate rather rating ratio raw reach react reaction read reader reading ready real reality realize really reason reasonable recall receive recent recently recipe recognition recognize recommend recommendation record recording recover recovery recruit red reduce reduction refer reference reflect reflection reform refugee refuse regard regarding regardless regime region regional register regular regularly regulate regulation reinforce reject relate relation relationship relative relatively relax release relevant relief religion religious rely remain remaining remarkable remember remind remote remove repeat repeatedly replace reply report reporter represent representation representative Republican reputation request require requirement research researcher resemble reservation resident resist resistance resolution resolve resort resource respect respond respondent response responsibility responsible rest restaurant restore restriction result retain retire retirement return reveal revenue review revolution rhythm rice rich rid ride rifle right ring rise risk river road rock role roll romantic roof room root rope rose rough roughly round route routine row rub rule run running rural rush Russian sacred sad safe safety sake salad salary sale sales salt same sample sanction sand satellite satisfaction satisfy sauce save saving say scale scandal scared scenario scene schedule scheme scholar scholarship school science scientific scientist scope score scream screen script sea search season seat second secret secretary section sector secure security see seed seek seem segment seize select selection self sell Senate senator send senior sense sensitive sentence separate sequence series serious seriously serve service session set setting settle settlement seven several severe sex sexual shade shadow shake shall shape share sharp she sheet shelf shell shelter shift shine ship shirt shit shock shoe shoot shooting shop shopping shore short shortly shot should shoulder shout show shower shrug shut sick side sigh sight sign signal significance significant significantly silence silent silver similar similarly simple simply sin since sing singer single sink sir sister sit site situation six size ski skill skin sky slave sleep slice slide slight slightly slip slow slowly small smart smell smile smoke smooth snap snow so so-called soccer social society soft software soil solar soldier solid solution solve some somebody somehow someone something sometimes somewhat somewhere son song soon sophisticated sorry sort soul sound soup source south southern Soviet space Spanish speak speaker special specialist species specific specifically speech speed spend spending spin spirit spiritual split spokesman sport spot spread spring square squeeze stability stable staff stage stair stake stand standard standing star stare start state statement station statistics status stay steady steal steel step stick still stir stock stomach stone stop storage store storm story straight strange stranger strategic strategy stream street strength strengthen stress stretch strike string strip stroke strong strongly structure struggle student studio study stuff stupid style subject submit subsequent substance substantial succeed success successful successfully such sudden suddenly sue suffer sufficient sugar suggest suggestion suicide suit summer summit sun super supply support supporter suppose supposed Supreme sure surely surface surgery surprise surprised surprising surprisingly surround survey survival survive survivor suspect sustain swear sweep sweet swim swing switch symbol symptom system table tablespoon tactic tail take tale talent talk tall tank tap tape target task taste tax taxpayer tea teach teacher teaching team tear teaspoon technical technique technology teen teenager telephone telescope television tell temperature temporary ten tend tendency tennis tension tent term terms terrible territory terror terrorism terrorist test testify testimony testing text than thank thanks that the theater their them theme themselves then theory therapy there therefore these they thick thin thing think thinking third thirty this those though thought thousand threat threaten three throat through throughout throw thus ticket tie tight time tiny tip tire tired tissue title to tobacco today toe together tomato tomorrow tone tongue tonight too tool tooth top topic toss total totally touch tough tour tourist tournament toward towards tower town toy trace track trade tradition traditional traffic tragedy trail train training transfer transform transformation transition translate transportation travel treat treatment treaty tree tremendous trend trial tribe trick trip troop trouble truck true truly trust truth try tube tunnel turn TV twelve twenty twice twin two type typical typically ugly ultimate ultimately unable uncle under undergo understand understanding unfortunately uniform union unique unit United universal universe university unknown unless unlike unlikely until unusual up upon upper urban urge us use used useful user usual usually utility vacation valley valuable value variable variation variety various vary vast vegetable vehicle venture version versus very vessel veteran via victim victory video view viewer village violate violation violence violent virtually virtue virus visible vision visit visitor visual vital voice volume volunteer vote voter vs vulnerable wage wait wake walk wall wander want war warm warn warning wash waste watch water wave way we weak wealth wealthy weapon wear weather wedding week weekend weekly weigh weight welcome welfare well west western wet what whatever wheel when whenever where whereas whether which while whisper white who whole whom whose why wide widely widespread wife wild will willing win wind window wine wing winner winter wipe wire wisdom wise wish with withdraw within without witness woman wonder wonderful wood wooden word work worker working works workshop world worried worry worth would wound wrap write writer writing wrong yard yeah year yell yellow yes yesterday yet yield you young your yours yourself youth zone