Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words, continuing in the footsteps of daprice82. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
• PREVIOUS •
1987
FUTURE YEARS ARCHIVE:
The Complete Observer Rewind Archive by daprice82

1-4-1988	1-11-1988	1-18-1988	1-25-1988
2-1-1988	2-8-1988	2-15-1988	2-22-1988
2-29-1988	3-7-1988	3-14-1988	3-21-1988
3-28-1988	*	*	*

• ”This is horrible, Gorilla.” These words open the issue this week, because Wrestlemania IV is in the books and, well, it was not pretty. Dave is flabbergasted by how bad a show it was, wondering if this was a dream or a nightmare that he hasn’t woken up from. Wrestlemania III was the best wrestling production of all time. It may not have had the best card, but it was entertaining all around and the fans loved it. It set Vince up as the king of wrestling, all-powerful over the business. He’s still the king, but he’s definitely not all-powerful, and Crockett absolutely kicked Vince’s ass on March 27. Financials will take time to come in, and of course McMahon will win that measure, but we can flash back to January 24 for an analogue: The Royal Rumble won even though the Bunkhouse Finals made more money.
  
• Preliminary info Dave has gotten from phoning cable companies and hearing from fans at closed-circuit site is that Wrestlemania interest was down by nearly half of last year’s. The buyrate for ppv could be as low as 6 percent, half of WWF’s expected 12% and still way down from last year’s 10.3%. Even so, the PPV gross would be $10.8 million, of which WWF can expect no more than $3.5 million, plus an estimated $2.3 million from a minimum 175,000 (last year had 375,000) at closed-circuit and a live gate of about $ million and an undisclosed site fee from Donald Trump for putting on the show. The early (and I mean early, don’t get attached to these numbers) overall estimate is a total gross of $14 million, with WWF netting maybe $6.5 million, a far cry from the $18 million they were predicting their take would be. How much was because Crockett ran the Clash? How much was because WWF just has been less interesting? It’s hard to say, but Crockett hurt McMahon way more than anyone could have anticipated.
  
• As for the shows themselves, just absolute night and day between them. Crockett’s Clash was a really solid show. It wasn’t as polished a production and only had 30 minutes of wrestling in the first 90 minutes of the show, though this was to allow Sting/Flair to work without commercial breaks so it was an overall benefit. The matches, minus the barbed wire one, were all good. The crowd was into it. Two excellent matches. Probably best to never let Steve Williams talk again, though. The Jim Cornette and Eddie Haskel bit was great and made Bob Uecker and Gene Okerlund look worse than they were. Meanwhile, Wrestlemania made Starrcade 1987 look like Starrcade 1985, and that’s too nice to say even. WWF’s guys, rather than working harder because it was Wrestlemania, opted to phone it in instead because Wrestlemania itself would carry the day. Even Jesse Ventura had no good lines and coasted while Gorilla was like soundbites of his Wrestling Challenge commentary.
  
• Anyway, Dave breaks down the major problems for WWF, as he sees them. 1) Hogan - he’s too over, to the point he overshadows everything else and by booking him as just one of the guys in the field, they completely devalued their star attraction. And instead of putting Randy over at the end, which they need to do if they’re going to try and have him be even close to as over as Hulk has been, they put Liz and Hulk over. “It’s like Randy can’t even order a taxi cab unless Liz tells Hulk to flag down the cab.” 2) Hindsight is always 20/20, but Trump Plaza was a terrible venue for a Wrestlemania, and the crowd just wasn’t a wrestling crowd, so they were not invested at all. 3) Steroids. Dave supposes he’s probably the most hated person in the world among the heavy steroid users in the business because of all the nicknames he gives them, but in all seriousness it was embarrassing to watch so many guys get blown up in a minute or two to where they couldn’t even pace out a five minute match. Like, take out the health issues, take out any sense of blame on the guys, Dave says. The tournament was embarrassing. It wasn’t funny to see the guys fail like this. It was just sad. 4) The tournament as a concept flopped. It gave fans no specific issue to focus on because belts in modern wrestling just don’t mean anything to fans - the real draw is the big personalities, and WWF proved it with this show: the only matches anyone cared about were the ones with Hogan and, to a lesser extent, DiBiase and Savage. 5) Spoilers. Too many people knew the outcome, and giving Savage the title is almost a mistake after you’ve given so many spoilers of your own show. ABC News did a report the morning after, saying “Randy Savage was the winner at Wrestlemania, but of course everyone knew it since the WWF magazine had printed the result three weeks ago. The WWF claims the magazine report was simply a typographical error.” Anyway, Dave is sick of people blaming him for their wrestling promotions not being able to draw fans at live shows when they aren’t interesting enough. Newsletter subscribers are maybe 0.002% of the viewing audience - if all Dave’s subscribers quit watching nobody would notice in the viewing numbers. Meanwhile, the fans who read newsletters are probably the most dedicated and put more money into the business than the “marks” do and will be the ones stubbornly holding on to the end if the business somehow were to die. So don’t blame Dave if your show sucks and your creative is bad and you give away your finish weeks ahead of time and don’t even bother changing it.
  
• Anyway, Wrestlemania preliminary numbers time. About 540,000 homes on PPV, plus 195,000 through closed-circuit, as far as the U.S. goes. They did just 95 closed-circuit sites in the U.S., 39 of which had less than 2,000 capacity. No word on Crockett’s ratings, but if they hit a 5 on TBS that’s about 2 million homes.
  
• So all that said, time to look at the Wrestlemania card. Good production, particularly the opening graphics, but not as far ahead of Crockett as last year now that they’ve upped their game. Battle royal started hot and quickly became your standard boring battle royal. The Hart/Badnews angle at the end saves the match from a dud and gets it half a star. DiBiase vs. Duggan was real slow for a five minute match, and Duggan no longer resembles the worker he was in UWF/Mid-South just a couple years ago. Very little heat. 1.5 stars. Muraco vs. Bravo gets half a star, and both were blown up by the double clothesline like they’d wrestled a hard 20 minutes, but the whole match was under 5. Valentine vs. Steamboat saw Valentine look tired and old, and just not have his famed longevity anymore. Good finish, solid work even with the timing issues. Steamboat coming out with his son and being able to be lost in the moment of just being a proud father was “a tremendous sight” for Dave. 2.25 stars. Savage vs. Reed got a pop for the finish but nothing else, really. 1 star. One Man Gang vs. Bam Bam Bigelow wasn’t good. It was obvious how bad Bigelow’s knee was, and that takes away his agility, which is the thing that sets him apart. Dave says this is a -1.5 star match in a vacuum, but considering Bam Bam’s condition he’s not going to rate it that low and calls it a dud instead. Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts was a 15 minute draw and Dave hated it. He hated Rude’s tights, the many long rest holds, the fact that there just weren’t any moves in there to pop the crowd, and the fact that the crowd chanted boring. Worst match of the year candidate. -2 stars. Ultimate Warrior blew up before he entered the ring for his match with Hercules and the match was bad. -1.5 stars, and Dave says it was worse than Rude vs. Roberts, but gets a better rating for knowing when to be done quick and not overstaying its welcome like the other match did.
  

Watch: Cleanse your palate with Hogan’s weird promo from Wrestlemania about faultlines and Donald Trump caring about his family

• Wrestlemania continued, because holy shit that was a really long paragraph and we needed an intermission. Round two saw Hogan and Andre go to a double disqualification to start off. Andre could barely stand by two and a half minutes in. Lots of shenanigans, Virgil took a nasty suplex on the floor where Hulk didn’t protect him at all, but there’s a glimmer of a future face push for him at least. Maybe his father’s a plumber, Dave quips. Half a star if you ignore the posing at the end (dud if you count the posing). But really, the crowd came to see Hogan pose. DiBiase vs. Muraco had no heat but decent action for its short stay. 1.5 stars. Savage vs. Valentine was good, well-paced with good action. 2.5 stars. Beefer vs. Honkytonk Man amazed Dave since neither was over at all when both usually are decently over. Sherri Martel made more noise than the entire audience. Loads of shenanigans, Beefer’s new haircut makes him look like a Davey Boy Smith with less wrestling ability, dud. Islanders and Heenan vs. Koko and the Bulldogs had some decent comedy and started okay, but got boring quick. 1.25 stars. Savage vs. One Man Gang was watchable but the finish sucked. Half a star. Demolition vs. Santana and Martel was solid throughout, although the crowd seemed on Demolition’s side. If the crowd had been responsive this would have been a really good match rather than just pretty good at 2.5 stars. DiBiase vs. Savage saw the crowd missing “two top-flight guys trying to work a good match” because they were watching the entrance waiting for Hogan. Savage sends Liz to get Hogan, Hogan evens the odds, Savage wins, Hogan must pose. 2.25 stars. Once round two started, the show was pretty decent, Dave thinks, just the first half of the show wasn’t RestholdMania, but Rigor Mortis Mania.
  
• Over in Crockett Country, it’s a whole different story. They drew 6,000 fans to the Greensboro Coliseum, and all six thousand were champing at the bit for the show, which created a great energy that the wrestlers fed on for their matches. Rotunda retained the TV Title against Jimmy Garvin in the amateur rules match with a one-count pin, pinning Garvin a minute into the second round. 2.5 stars. The Midnight Express beat the Fantastics by DQ to retain the U.S. Tag Titles in a classic Memphis style brawl that was so action packed the cameras missed a lot of it. Dave gives them 4.25 stars, saying the action earned it 4.5, but the overused finish with the over the top rope throw and the referee reversing the decision lost it half a star, but then the post-match action with Corette lashing Bobby Fulton’s back with a belt got it back a quarter star. Dusty and the Road Warriors (the Rhode Warriors, I almost typed) beat Warlord and Barbarian and Ivan Koloff in a real short barbed wire match, and Dave notes the resemblance between Dudty wearing facepaint and a black t-shirt and Dump Matsumoto (with the notable difference that Dump is prettier). Ivan was bleeding after 20 seconds and Dusty after 90. Dave hates these matches - everyone gets all cautious and careful and stays in the center of the ring, so nothing really happens. 1 star. Luger and Barry Windham beat Arn and Tully for the NWA Tag Titles. Good match all around, 3.5 stars. Flair and Sting had a 45 minute draw for the NWA Title in a match of the year candidate. Slow pace to start, but the heat kept up and they weren’t dull and Flair sold the hell out of every rest hold. Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone did fantastic work on this, particularly Ross who sold the intensity and importance of the match, which was critical for the first half (if only he were still able to do that today). There were supposed to be three judges, but there were five people at the table, only two of them didn’t vote, so no idea what the point there was. Anyway, Patty Mullen (Penthouse Pet of the year and who had been on Ric’s arm the night before on tv) picked Flair. Gary Juster, former NWA promoter, voted for Sting. Sandy Scott then ruled it a draw, and nothing came of the judging gimmick which made it utterly pointless. 4.75 stars
  

Watch: Clash of the Champions. I’ve set it to start with the Steve Williams promo because it needs to be heard to be believed

• During Clash of the Champions, after the first match, there was an ad on TBS for the WWF 900 number advertising play-by-play for Wrestlemania. WWF managed to get an ad on TBS during Crockett’s big special, and that’s hilarious. They also ran the first ad for the new Four Horsemen vitamins, which was hilarious but unintentionally so, and Dave thinks they aren’t going to sell a lot of those vitamins.
  
• Last week Dave teased a big story, and it’s that Crockett has been negotiating with Ken Mantell of World Class Dave didn’t give any details beyond the tease last week because he was hoping to get more before press time. He promises to never note a major story the way he did again without giving more details up front, because he expected more details to break before he had to print copy but it didn’t. Anyway, negotiations have been ongoing for ten days and there are conflicting reports. Crockett’s goal is taking over World Class the way they did Florida, getting the valuable channel 11 time slot on Saturday nights in Dallas. They’re going to need Fritz on board to complete the deal, though. If it does go through, Kerry and Kevin will have guaranteed work and a push in the NWA, but neither really seems to want the travel, so they’d likely get a deal for local stuff and maybe occasional work in St. Louis. The bottom line everyone needs to consider, though, is that Mantell and Michael Hayes may be the most creative bookers anywhere right now, but they aren’t turning WCCW’s business around and it just may not work out that they can. Dave doesn’t expect a deal done now, but he thinks Mantell and Hayes may give themselves until May to see if their hard work will pay off before considering any offers.
  
• An example of that creative booking is the WCCW title change on March 25 in Dallas. Hayes was at ringside with Kerry while Black Bart and Buddy Roberts were for Parsons. Iceman King Parsons is one of the least likely champions in wrestling history, and the match wasn’t particularly good, but the finish saw the lights go out after Terry Gordy came down, at which point Bart and Roberts used flashlights to blind the fans in the front row so nobody could see what happened. When the lights came back on, Kerry was knocked out in the ring, Hayes was bleeding on the floor, nobody knew who hit whom, and Parsons pinned Kerry to win the belt. They even had Kerry carted out on a stretcher. Dave doesn’t think (and actively prays against) Parsons will hold it for long. Hayes looks like the best prospect (nope. It’s going back to Kerry in May at the Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions). Also, I just learned that King Parsons is his real legal name. I always thought combining Iceman and King was a weird combo of gimmicks, so that solves a mystery for me.
  

Watch: Iceman King Parsons wins the WCWA World Title

• Eddie Gilbert is leaving Memphis to book for Continental beginning April 10. Continental’s business is bottoming out and it’ll be interesting to see if Gilbert and Missy can get things going there again like they did in Memphis. This also puts Memphis in some dire straits, since the Gilberts were basically all their storylines and they were drawing triple what they had been by giving the Gilberts such big spotlight, so they’re in trouble.
  
• Lanny Poffo, brother of WWF Champion Randy Savage, has a book coming out called Wrestling with Rhyme. It’s a book of poetry coming out in late April and will be available at Walden Books. Man, I remember when Walden went out of business. It was a sad day for me.
  
• The only news Dave has from Japan right now is that Bruiser Brody beat Jumbo Tsuruta for the International Title at Budokan Hall on March 27. Tenryu also retained his PWF Title against Hansen.
  
• Roddy Piper’s latest project is a new film going into production called They Live.
  

Watch: They Live trailer

• A correction on the Bruno Sammartino stuff. WWF isn’t trying to ban Bruno from using his name. They’re trying to ban him from using the trademarked nickname “The Living Legend” in contexts outside WWF. There’s a lot of talk about his radio interview , and some excerpts in the mail section of this issue.
  
• There’s a film in the works about former Olympic and pro wrestler Chris Taylor. Taylor was a 450 lb wrestler from Iowa who won bronze in the 1972 Olympics and died in 1979. A book about him called “The Gentle Giant” is being adapted into a film, currently called “Lean On Me.” That does not wind up being the title, and I can’t find a movie based on him so this might have gotten scrapped. In other biopic news, no word from Hollywood on any upcoming Hulk Hogan movie.
  
• WWF went up to the number 4 slot in the syndicated ratings for the week ending Feb. 28. They had a 10.6 rating, an increase on the previous week. Crockett’s network fell to number 9 with a 7.6.
  
• Paul E. Dangerously firing Joe Pedicino, Gordon Solie, and Boni Blackstone on Pro Wrestling this Week aired this past weekend. It was fantastic stuff, and Paul has cemented himself as one of the top managers in the business. This is all part of a reformatting of the show to a 30 minute format with Pedicino and Patrick Schaeffer (who was the mastermind behind Global doing an IPO to build up a million dollars of operating capital) at the helm, with Schaeffer as the heel commentator.
  
• Crockett had a big angle taped on March 21 that they aired this past Saturday, involving Magnum T.A. Magnum was doing an interview when Tully and J.J. came out, then Barry Windham came out and Tully popped Windham with a hit, then hit Magnum. J.J. was behind Magnum and helped Magnum gently go to ground, then Dusty barged in with a baseball bat and swung for the fences on Tully, then knocks out Jim Crockett without realizing who he’s swinging at when Jim and David Crockett and Rob Garner try to restore order. Jim Cornette did a tearful interview about his “good friend Jim Crockett” and Magnum even bladed, though that last didn’t make it to tv. Later on, Magnum came out and hit Tully with a bat in a match to cause a disqualification. Dave loved the concept here at first because you have to imagine Magnum hates being on the sidelines and wants to be involved to some extent and this gives him something to sink his teeth into. At the same time, “the idea of beating up a cripple, which unfortunately is the reality of the situation” is just kind of pathetic. That said, it’ll draw, and it’ll let Dusty (with Magnum in his corner) push himself as top star once again, and it may even be enough to put heat back on Dusty vs. Tully. Dusty will be suspended for 120 days come Saturday’s tv (taking us into July - will we see the Midnight Rider face Flair at the Bash, Dave wonders), Dusty will return as the Midnight Rider with Magnum at his side, and he’ll likely get the U.S. title in the tournament they’re going to hold in May.
  

Watch: Tully suckerpunches Magnum

• The Oregon State Athletic Commission held a public hearing on March 18. Topics mostly stuck to safety concerns such as cleaning the mats, barriers at ringside, security, mats on the floor by ringside, etc. A lot of wrestlers were there, along with Billy Jack Haynes and Don and Barry Owen. Most of the wrestlers were negative about the Owens’ promotion, with only Tony Borne and Art Crews saying anything positive. Borne testified against the idea of using mats outside the ring, saying it’s not going to help as much as it hurts the visual effect of a spill to the floor. He also said the commission’s drug testing proposal went too far by including painkillers and marijuana on top of cocaine. The commission indicated they’ll be looking at action like the use of chairs in the future and potentially issuing fines. They also clarified their stance on blood: hardway is good, blading is bad. It’s pretty absurd to say that the more dangerous way of getting color is good but blading is bad, but this whole blood thing has become a thing for commissions around the country because blading sounds absolutely insane to people outside the industry, and even Dave has mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, blading is a minor safety issue at best, especially compared to rampant steroid and drug use and nasty bumps. On the other, Dave’s not sure fans are really drawn by excessive bleeding either, and probably actually turns off a large number of potential casual viewers. It doesn’t hurt if kept rare, but it doesn’t help if half the matches have it. And more dangerous to the wrestlers in a blood match than AIDS (they’re more likely to get that from outside activities) is scabies, which Owen’s wrestlers had an outbreak of not too far back. Rip Oliver said he’s gotten scabies four times since July and wound up giving it to his wife and kids on top of it. The outbreak led the Commission to pass a ruling against wrestlers working while they have communicable diseases and that they must notify promoters.
  
• Eddie Gilbert vs. Jerry Lawler on March 21 drew 6,000 fans for Memphis. Gilbert won in what’s being hailed as a great match (and Dave’s heard their match the week before was even better). On tv on March 26 Gilbert acted like he was going to throw fire at Lance Russell, which got Lawler out from backstage in his first tv appearance in a month. They wound up brawling into the parking lot and Gilbert slammed Lawler on the hood of a car, shattering the windshield.
  
• Scott Rechsteiner, using the ring name Scott Steiner, debuted as a babyface in Memphis recently. No mention of peaks or freaks yet.
  
• Some random trivia about AWA Tag champ Paul Diamond. His real name is Tom Boric, and he was born in Winnipeg, you idiots, on May 11, 1961. He played soccer for the Tampa Bay Rowdies in the old North American Soccer League and was drafted sixth in the 1980 collegiate draft by the Calgary Boomers, before getting traded to Tampa in 1982. He stayed until the NASL folded, which is when he got into wrestling.
  
• Anyway, Diamond and Tanaka won the belts because the Midnight Rockers wanted $500 a week guaranteed to stay and Verne doesn’t believe in guaranteed money. They don’t appear to have left yet.
  
• [Continental] Looks like Eddie Gilbert is replacing Robert Fuller and going to be sole booker.
  
• [USA] The other spinoff from the old Continental promotion ran its first big show in Knoxville, drawing a $10,000 gate. Previous sellouts there hit $27,000, to give an indication of relative value there. Not a lot to report about this. Moondog Spot is there as “The Dog.” He’s not a big dog. He’s not a little dog. He’s The Dog.
  
• WCCW drew 1,700 on March 25 for their Dallas show, where Kerry dropped the title to Parsons. The other main event had Michael Hayes vs. Buddy Roberts, and Roberts kept trying to apologize for hitting Hayes, but Hayes wasn’t going to let it slide. Terry Gordy did a run in and broke things up, and told Hayes they sold Angel of Death’s contract so they can all be friends again. Hayes walked out on Gordy, though.
  
• [WCCW] Fabulous Lance keeps getting booked for shows but hasn’t returned. His agent still doesn’t want him to be a heel because it’ll cut down his opportunities for tv and modeling work.
  
• To illustrate how bad business is for World Class, here’s the biggest gate they drew out of three shows last week in Mississippi: $783.
  
• A man named David Peschel of Washington, New Jersey is suing Randy Savage for a million dollars. He alleges that Savage punched and bodyslammed him when he got out of his car at a light to ask Savage for his autograph. He describes Savage as 6’4” and 280 lbs, prompting Dave to ask if this was maybe a different Randy Savage.
  
• Rumor has it that Angelo Poffo put a $1 bet on the Wrestlemania tournament. Apparently, his bet was on Ted DiBiase.
  
• According to a sumo journal in Japan, Futuhaguro is 99% certain he won’t go into pro wrestling. Koji Kitao will debut near the end of 1989 in the AWA, so I’ll put my dollar bet on the 1% chance.
  
• Reader Mike Rodgers attended the Oregon commission hearing on March 18 and writes about his take. The commission is making big improvements to safety that he thinks are great, but thinks they’re overstepping by wanting to legitimately fine wrestlers who use foreign objects or chairs, and says they don’t understand “that promoters do what they can to fill up arenas.” Banning the blade but not blood is just going to increase the chance of legitimate injury, and it’s part of the proof that the commission really isn’t smart to what wrestling really is about.
  
• We get a really long letter on Bruno’s radio interview. The writer taped the second hour and is hoping to get tape of the first hour. But before getting to the good stuff, he first wants to note that lying and silly gimmicks didn’t start in 1984 (was Gorilla Monsoon really from Manchuria? Didn’t Bruno employ gimmick wrestlers when he booked Pittsburgh? How about when he’d blade and claim to have spent the night hospitalized receiving transfusions) and that Bruno’s not really got a leg to stand on for “wrestling must be credible and it is an insult to the fans’ intelligence to lie to them.” Fans knew then just as they know now that it’s a work, but that doesn’t matter - you watch the show because it’s entertaining and you want to see the magician do their tricks. Also, the writer weighs in that the real story with the Main Event will be told by the demographic breakdown rather than the overall rating. In other words, is Hulk Hogan the Demo God? Anyway, after all this preamble, we finally get some quotes from the interview:
  
• Bruno denies blading happened in his day but says “today, nothing would surprise me.”
  
• Says he’ll never work for the NWA. “I wouldn’t touch it with a 50-foot pole.”
  
• He breaks kayfabe on George Steele and says he’s been a teacher for years.
  
• He thinks Bobby Heenan is a “dud and a disgrace” to wrestling.
  
• He compliments Ric Flair as a guy who can give you an exciting 30 or 40 minute match, but the NWA “have an awful lot of bizarre nonsense in there that, to me, is no good.”
  
• He says David wanted to be like him and he tried to warn David that these days they aren’t interested in “guys who just want to wrestle” but he’ll be going to Japan where they appreciate that better.
  
• He didn’t like doing commentary. He just clocked in, did his job, and left as soon as he was done. He was very uncomfortable and unhappy doing it.
  
• Bruno says WWF didn’t really have anything great to generate interest in the tournament for Wrestlemania.
  
• A caller asks if his wrestling was all real, and Bruno says “Well, it was in my day, at least I thought it was.
  
• We get a letter that feels so much like it could have been a post here on /SquaredCircle when Dave rated Omega/Okada 6 stars that I’m posting it in its entirety. Be warned, it is long, kind of racist, and absolutely bonkers, but that’s not unfamiliar around these parts. It gets the headline “Sick of praise for Japan.”
  

I get so sick of the way that people talk about Japanese wrestling. There’s no question it should be covered extensively in the Observer because it is a significant part of the wrestling world. However, when you start printing letters that criticize the American society and the jazz scene, then you are going way too far.
Anyone who thinks the Japanese never forsake quality for showmanship is full of it. The rock group KISS has enjoyed phenomenal success there because of their wild appearence [sic] and stage show. In fact, when they stopped wearing their makeup in the United States, they waited almost two years to do the same in Japan because they knew they wouldn’t be accepted there without it. And what about the movie industry? Do you think Godzilla movies are popular because of great acting?
As a student, I find teachers constantly comparing the American intelligence with that of the Japanese. I’m sure that the wrestlers love being compared to Japanese wrestlers as much as I love being compared to Japanese students. The Japanese do well at everything because they become obsessed with it. For them, it’s a matter of pride. If they screw up, it’s not only a mark on themselves but also on their entire family. You may think that’s great, but it puts a lot of pressure on everyone. They spend hours studying and I’m certain spend hours learning wrestling skills and have no time for themselves. Cut the North American wrestlers some slack. They’re just trying to make a living and preserve their bodies in the process. Look at what trying to wrestle like the Japanese did to Tommy Billington. Everyone would love matches filled with nothing but high spots, but working them is a great way to destroy yourself in a hurry. Now there is no excuse for total duds like Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant either, but there are many non-Japanese who can hold their own without going crazy about it. I wonder how many Observer readers can honestly say that they work as hard at their own jobs as the Japanese in the same profession do. If they do, then I think they would quality [sic] as workaholics.
If there is anything wrong with our society, it’s the lack of national pride, which is so evident in the pages of the Observer. You seem to hate everything that wasn’t imported from the other side of the world. I have absolutely nothing against the country of Japan or Japanese wrestling, but I don’t think it’s up to a bunch of wrestling fans to dictate what’s wrong with our country just because they prefer the Oriental style of wrestling. I think the Observer is great, but I’d like to see you stick to writing about wrestling instead of how rotten our way of life is. I’m sure that’s what a Japanese journalist would do.

• Anyway, Dave responds to that letter, giving the writer only 4 stars because it’s not in the literally-only-opened-a-couple-weeks-ago Tokyo Dome:

DM: Have I ever written about how rotten our quality of life is or done any cultural comparisons between the U.S. and Japan except to where it pertains to the wrestling business? If I lived in Japan and made a comparison of the quality of the football product and wrote the U.S. product was superior, I hope people wouldn’t take it as an indictment against an entire society.

• Lastly, it’s about that time of year, I guess, because we have letters arguing about whether Dave should include GLOW coverage or not. Two letters this week on that theme, the first noting what the writer calls a progression in the letters calling for more coverage of women’s wrestling. First were the calls for more coverage of “conventional” women’s wrestling. Then the calls for GLOW coverage. Then POWW. Guess the next will be coverage of the apartment house wrestling scene, the writer supposes. The other writer claims to speak for 90% of subscribers and says Dave would offend that much of his readership if he covers GLOW and POWW and says that if you even consider GLOW to be pro wrestling, you’re incapable of understanding what makes a match good or not. This one asks if Dave’s going to be asked to cover mud wrestling next. There’s no misogyny problem in wrestling fandom. Move along. Nothing to see here.
  
• Back to news, the Kentucky Athletic Commission has put up some new rules. There are to be guard rails around the ring now. Throwing an opponent over the top rope will result in a fine or suspension. Ditto for any referee who doesn’t immediately stop the match for it. The top rope rule is now state law, as insane as that sounds.
  
• Dave should have national numbers next week, but in Atlanta Clash of the Champions drew an 11.7 rating, with the FlaiSting match hitting 14.5 National numbers will not be nearly that high, but hitting that 5 Dave mentioned earlier that would mean 2 million viewers doesn’t seem so far fetched anymore. Clash beat the NCAA tournament on the networks in Atlanta. TBS is reportedly looking to do another in prime time on a Wednesday early in the summer.
  
• Stampede set up an angle where Johnny Smith (kayfabe Davey Boy’s cousin or brother or something) argued with Diana Hart Smith, which got Owen out to defend his sister. Davey Boy was supposed to come in after Wrestlemania to work with Johnny, but Vince put the kibosh on that. There were also considerations for some Stampede guys to participate in the Crockett Cup, but politics (Vince) made that a no-go. So it’s probably no coincidence that when Owen did the job for Hercules it was just outside Greensboro. Anyway, the real takeaway is that Owen is probably coming over to WWF by the end of the year.
  

NEXT WEEK: Clash vs. Wrestlemania poll results, Clash ratings and Wrestlemania buyrate, an assload of mini headlines because news is apparently thin next week, and more

PROLOGUE
I know i promised in Day 1 Week 1 to post some short stories and cap it with one big story of epic proportions. But ever since i said that, i couldnt get the “big one” out of my mind. giggity
Maybe its because of how much of it was “could you believe this shit?” material. Its a story thats still going on and has been for 2 years now.
Advance warning: if you somehow dont agree with me as a person, or my story, try to voice your disagreement in a civil manner. If you can’t, just stick to PMs or keep it to yourself. Dont blast it in the comments section. This is a nice community.
No TLDRs, if you have the time to be on Reddit, you have the time to read this. Zero apologies for grammar or spelling mistakes either. Heard you can keep them and combine them with spelling/grammar mistakes from other posts, and eventually you can have a ball of grammar and spelling mistakes that you can keep as a pet and will keep you warm at night.
BACKGROUND
I am a mixed race woman: half white, half mixed asian, (redacted) years old. I am also what hard core old schoolers would call, a sinner. Yeah. Been living in sin with a partner i married in Las Vegas, USA some years ago. If that doesnt make your standard issue hypocrite cringe, we are also both active duty members of our country’s military. I work in a combat arms unit, and she drives a fighter plane for a living. Yeah, so just your basic, standard issue “baby killing lezzies”. Actual words thrown at us before.
PART 1
Once we got our permanent duty assignment, we decided to buy a property together. We bought into this nice semi gated community close to the base thats populated by about 95% active duty or retired military. We were welcomed warmly into the community, except for our immediate neighbour to the left.
We’ll call them Kevin and Karen. (Very original). They were about 50 years of age, have 2 kids away in university and 1 kid who flunked his ABC’s living with them in his late 20’s.
Kevin is active duty as an Air Force officer. I believe he’s a tech of some sort. Aren’t all Air Force dudes a tech of some kind? And Karen is a “professional influencer” who deals in MLM, fitness and travel stuff.
The fact that they have problems with us as their neighbours was evident from the beginning. Here’s the indicators of no particular order:
-our realtor and HOA organized a welcome party for us at the country club with welcome gifts and cards. The card is massive with welcome messages from everyone. Kevin and Karen just signed theirs with: “Welcome! Kevin and Karen”. They were also notably absent, with everyone else who was absent having a valid excuse.
-within our first month of living in our new home, we were immediately bombarded with complaints from the HOA. Since our immediate neighbours were: Kevin and Karen to the south, an empty lot to the north, a small wooded area behind our houses, and people across the street we quickly became friends with, its obvious to see where the complaints were coming from. We were told were exposing the kids in the neighbourhood to indecency and even nudity. (This is about me and the partner going for runs in the weekend. Our standard running attire is pretty normal, sports bra covered by a tank top, and shorts or yoga pants. We took this one pretty hard since even facing accusations of child molestation/exposure is a serious career ender). We were told we were clogging up the streets with illegally parked cars. (Its about that one time i quickly drove home to grab the lunch i forgot, and i was in a rush to park properly, in front of my own property). We were told we were neglecting our part in maintaining our home, driving down property values in our neighbourhood. (This one i have no idea). We were told that we were stinking up the neighbourhood with bad smells. (That one time i went outside to use the grill and cook a smoked fish i picked up from an Asian store.) We were told we play our music too loud and its bothering people. (Okay, ill give this a shot that we may be at fault for this one because of a couple of times where we hosted a weekend party). Its all a lot of small stuff too much to mention, but its obvious that someone has a problem with us.
-They also filed a separate report for “indecent exposure” with the cops. Source of the complaint? Milena and I were having some fun, healthy grown up times that probably went a bit too loud at some point, and i ran into the kitchen to grab a glass of water while still in my birthday suit. That brief 10 second period where i happened to be in view through the open kitchen windows, AT 1 IN THE MORNING, is apparently enough to line us up right there with sex offenders.
I did a bit more analysis over this after the cops left. If were considering that our walls are paper thin, which it isnt. I’ve had times where Milena is playing Warzone at full volume in the den and you couldn’t hear anything from two rooms over, let alone from outside the house. But lets say that maybe we were actually that loud. My kitchen window at the time only had one window that was open and uncovered. This is a window that faces K&K’s house. Between their fencing and fruit trees, the only way you could see into my kitchen from that window is if you’re viewing it from a second story vantage point. The second story of their house has NO windows facing any of my kitchen windows. ZERO. So that means that one, or both of them, by some miraculous reason, heard and got awakened by the fun times going on, stepped out of their house and somehow peeked into our house either through or over their fence.
I GAVE THEM A SHOW AND INSTEAD OF TIPPING ME, THEY CALLED THE COPS AND GAVE ME THE WHOLE SHAFT!
Motherfuckers.
And finally, the dog. I have a 7 year old Husky-Lab mix. He has been fully trained by an actual professional school to be a therapy dog. He is trained not to bark under any circumstances except for the emergencies he is trained to respond to (fire, me or my partner being rendered unconscious). So its a surprise when the complaints against us started to include my dog and his “excessive barking”. And then it escalated to his “unattended droppings”. And then how he looks like a “threatening breed”. Keep in mind that this dog and his breed has been cleared by our HOA. And even if they didnt, they can go kick rocks since he’s a registered therapy dog used for a legit medical reason.
We willingly offerred the HOA to submit to them all copies of our outside camera’s feeds for a month to see if there’s a pattern of un neighbourly conduct we might be doing and not aware of. The HOA is pretty happy with our proposed solution and took us up on our offer. We didnt change anything with our lifestyle and after a month, they were happy with what they saw and concluded the complaints against us are baseless. This is also when the person from HOA let slip that ALL the complaints came from ONE residence where their owners are known for being “squeaky wheels, that need a lot of greasing to keep happy”.
Well, someone has a grudge against us and we dont know what we did wrong against them. It eventually escalated with the culprits outing themselves.
CONFLICT 1
This all came to a head sometime in April 2019 when I was mowing our backyard and doing some spring house maintenance. I looked across the fence and noticed that ALL of K&K’s backyard camera’s were pointed at OUR yard. I thought it was odd so i asked Kevin about that when he stepped outside to have a cigarette. I was immediately met with shouting and curses.
“Its my cameras! Ill point it wherever i want! And right now, i want evidence that you’re intentionally luring wildlife destroying my yard! And put some fucking clothes on!”
I was puzzled about that and asked him what he meant. He kept shouting and through his raving, i came to the conclusion that he had a problem with my birdfeeder. Now, i cleared this bird feeder with the HOA. They approved this. This feeder was built in a way, that ONLY birds can access it. Squirrels maybe, but we dont have any of those in our area. There’s not a lot of wildlife populating that small wooded area behind us. So there’s no way that something big enough will be attracted and have access to my bird feeder and destroy anyone’s property. Its not like we live in a place where wildlife - human interaction is a problem. Besides, what property was he talking about being destroyed by this non existent wild animals? He has a rock garden and a couple of fruit trees in his completely fenced up yard.
He ended his rant with the threat that if he sees any one single animal in his yard that was there because of my feeder, he’ll come over to my house, destroy my feeder, and destroy anything else he wants just to see how i like it. Or if he sees my dog anywhere near his property, he will call Animal Control to take him away, and if my dog continues to be a “threat” to him, he’ll shoot him regardless of whether AC is on the way or not.
After over a month of this irritation + this confrontation with him, i decided that i wont be a prisoner in my own home anymore because of the whims of one man. I sent my own complaints to the HOA telling them about this interaction that ended with a threat to my safety and my property, and the improper behaviour of my neighbour. I was told that if it qualifies as an HOA issue, they cant mediate in “he said-she said” scenarios without proper evidence or witnesses. But, since it sounds more like a safety and well being issue, it sounds more like something the police should be involved in. But they wouldn’t be able to do anything except file a first complaint unless something physically happens/happened to us.
Well, isnt that just amazing? For the following months, my hands were tied and there’s nothing i can do but file a complaint or file a response to a complaint filed against me at the HOA. Even the HOA people, who thrive on drama like this, were getting tired of it. I got to make friends with a lot of my neighbours during these months, attending community events, and got the picture that K&K were bullies. Theyve always managed to strong arm people, and they seem to pick on people who are just “different”. Either people of colour, different beliefs, someone they think is inferior to Kevin’s status as an AF officer, or, i dont know, maybe someone they just dont like.
One of those guys i had the chance to chat with told me (paraphrasing): “Look. I dont know why is it that K&K like to pick on people who are obviously different when they’re obviously different themselves. Maybe, they like being big fish in a small pond? But, look at it this way, if i like to target “different” people because of the way they are, then you and Milena (my partner’s middle name) are obviously going to be the crown jewels in my collection. You both are uniform wearing, card carrying open and unashamed lesbians, and in your case, a person of quite a petite stature who is also of mixed ethnicity. If i attended a KKK sponsored bingo night in Alabama, your guys’ description would give me a blackout win. You’re with (my unit) right? You’re giving them a bad reputation by eating this guys’ incoming more than you have to. I think its time for you return fire and destroy this POG.”
PAYBACK 1
I was still at a loss as to how to process this message and then something clicked. Its already approaching Christmas and the active/retired gunfighters in my neigbourhood likes to host a “King of the Cage” charity fight. This is a big deal for our neighbourhood and our base, with caterers being hired by the HOA and medics volunteering for this fight being excempted from all duties by their chain.
This is how it goes: MMA fight rules and equipment + King of the Hill rules. No weight classes, MMA rules + referees, and you have to sign a waiver. King of the Hill rules is you have to win 2 out of 3 fights to advance to the next heat, until the semi finals when 1 loss will get you out of the running regardless. You go from one fight to the next and the only time you get to rest is if you get to the semi finals.
This is organized by my neighbourhood’s HOA, but has gotten so popular over the years and spilled into the base personnel because of the sheer amount of officers and active duty personnel living here. Everyone pays a fee to get their name in the fight, the pot is matched pound for pound by the HOA fund and (unofficial) senior NCO and officer’s fund, 25% of the proceeds goes to the winner, and the remaining goes to whichever charity is being hosted at the time. Everyone who is active duty both in the neighbourhood and people working at the base is “encouraged” to sign up. Heavy emphasis on the “encouragement” for both occifers and senior personnel. You better have a good reason for declining to fight since this is the one time where troops have a good chance of punching you in the face with no repercussions. And punching someone more senior than you in the face is always good for morale, and gives troops the impression that their leaders are still grounded and human like they are. Partner and I sign up once they announced they are now taking names.
Both my partner and i have good backgrounds when it comes to fighting and martial arts (in the ring and real life). Milena regularly does boxing drills as part of physical training, and has been fighting in karate and tae-kwon-do tournaments since grade school. Im the more proficient one when it comes fighting. Some people metaphorically give their kid at birth soccer balls, or a basketball, or whatever it is that they want to impart to their kids as a lifelong skill. Im only exaggerating when i swear that my dad gave me emei daggers when i was born. I have a strong background and training in muay thai, krav maga, bjj, kali/eskrima, and wushu (specialized in sword and dagger routines). Ive been competing in wushu and kali tournaments since i was 10, bjj/grappling since high school, and continues to compete in kali and bjj up to now. Ive also used krav maga and kali drills in work related fights and routinely use it when were doing MMA sports days at work. So, despite my deceptively petite stature, i can handle a LOT. Pun intended. Get over it. 😘
Anyway, with a little bit of finagling, i was able to convince several key fighters to let Kevin win their bouts. Kevin is pretty good from what i can tell, although hes more of a stand up fighter instead of a submission/ground and pound fighter. He just basically overwhelms people with his size and weight. Whenever he is down on the ground, he can easily strong arm people into submission. He’s about 6’5 against my 5’5 if im thinking tall thoughts. He weighs around maybe 250 lbs, against my 160 lbs soaking wet. Im pretty much physically half the person that he is. Lol. I can already tell that no amount of skill, training or wishful thinking in the world will let me win over someone who can easily overwhelm me with their innate weight and size. I face him for the first time in the last couple of matches before the semi finals, with several wins already under both of our names. The semi finals bracket is composed of 4 fighters and 1 random semi finalist whos been eliminated but won the selection fights, with the top 2 advancing to the finals cage.
So i huddled with Milena and came up with a plan that heavily revolves around exploiting the selection fight. This “selection” fight will still be MMA rules and refereee and have the additional risk of bare knuckles and fighters’ choice of sparring weapons. (Padded kali sticks, blunt knives and swords, padded shinai (kendo) swords, shock knives, and pugil sticks.) This risk is offset by “protective padding”, but anyone whos ever sparred at anything can attest to how they only minimize the hurt. It still hurts. People who have been knocked out earlier in the process can “buy” into the selection fight twice and get another shot at being the fight night champion. People who have been knocked out from the semis can only buy in once. The buy in is twice the registration fee. The selection fight mat is “live” for as long as there fighters fighting on it, and as long as there’s still fighters qualified and willing to buy in. The selection fight will be closed for business once the final matches start. I think theres some other rules and conditions im forgetting to mention.
The shock knives were a popular choice and had to have batteries swapped out a few times. People were just having the time of their lives shock knifing colleagues and even bosses. My favorite is when a mat had to be taken out of commission for cleaning and disinfecting. Some grunt shock knifed his buddy, and then drove a knee onto his gut. Buddy reacted the way most human bodies do when under stress: he vacated his bowels. Yup. He pooped himself. Poor guy. Bet you he’s gonna have fun with his new call sign.
The time came when i had to fight Kevin. I have yet to lose a fight while Kevin is 1 and 1. One more loss and he’s out. As soon as the ref said: “Fight!” I immediately knelt and tapped on the mat. I just threw away my first fight against Kevin. I went against another fighter and won that one, and then tapped myself out again when i had to face Kevin one more. He didnt say anything to me but the looks he was throwing me while almost sneering were enough to tell me that if there arent any witnesses, he would have been jumping down my throat with insults.
I went to the selection fight mat and bought myself back in. There was some other people in line and i quickly won against the ones i was matched with. If anyone is still reading to this point and counting, i now stand as King/Queen of the Hill, with the chance to be the dark horse fighter in the finals unless someone goes against me, and with one more buy in left if i get knocked out in the semi finals fight.
And wouldnt you know it, Kevin got a thrashing in that one last fight before the semis. He bought himself back in and is now facing me on the mat. His weapon of choice was the pugil stick. I swapped out the shock knife ive been using to a pair of kali sticks. We were both padded up with our heads, upper body, and shins covered with padding + a groin protector.
Ladies and germs, if youre still reading, let me tell you that this was the fight of my life. Ive done my share of both real life and training session fighting, but this one was the one fight that i will never forget. Its because i was facing someone that has been tormenting me, because of who i am as a person, non stop for months.
He quickly charged at me as soon as the ref blew the whistle. But since he is padded up, hes just a bit slower and clumsier. Exactly how i need him to be. I deflected his pugil stick with my kali sticks. I was able to disarm him with a quick parry —> wrist strike —> disarming twist. Before the ref can blow his whistle, i smacked him on the head with a stick, dropped my sticks, and did a single leg takedown. I made sure to land on him with my entire body weight and my elbow planted on his belly. We are now both unarmed and has transitioned to grappling. Still stunned from the blow to the head, he was simply offering weak resistance. Before he could recover, i secured my full mount on him, snuck in a few hammer fists to the unprotected part of his face, and locked in a textbook American lock. I was cranking that bitch hard until the ref stopped the fight with me staying on as K/QOTH.
I moved on to the semi finals while he bought himself back in. Before you know it, we were up against each other again in the semis and i outed myself again by tapping on the mat. I quickly regained K/QOTH status and am facing him again after he got ground and pounded to submission. This time, he picked the shock knife and i stuck to my kali sticks.
He is a lot more wary this time after i caught him unawares in our first time fight. We spent a couple minutes jabbing and striking to test each other’s defenses. Finally, i caught an opening. He tried to stab at me with the shock knife. I dropped my left stick while sidestepping him, caught his knife hand with my left hand, digging my fingers into his tendons, and while still holding my remaining stick, i hit him with a straight jab to the face, and ended the action by jabbing downwards at the wrist i was holding with the butt of my stick. This caused his wrist to go limp and drop the knife. I have now disarmed him, again. I dropped the remaining stick and while still clutching his now limp right hand against my chest, hammer fisted his right shoulder at the joint, hit him a back fist on his neck, (i believe i hit, or came close to hitting his carotid artery), and followed up with an enpty handed palm strike to his nose. Ever felt ligaments crunching? Feels gross. Sounds even grosser. I broke his nose and knocked him out cold. He’s down and done. TKO is announced and i move on to the finals.
He’s now been medically DQ’ed by the refs and medics attending. Since there’s no more fighters qualified or willing to buy in, i automatically advanced to the last couple semi finals fights. The rest of the night was a blur. I was gassed out by the time i qualified for the finals and got easily submitted with a kimura. To be fair, im not even mad i got so far into a US$25,000 competition only to get knocked out at 3rd place. Im not even mad about the black eyes or sore back or all the bruises.
Because of the payback.
This is sweet, sweet fuckery revenge for me. This son of a motherless whore has been tormenting me and my partner for months, casting a dark cloud in a what should have been a sweet moment for me and my partner both coming off of extended deployments and finally getting some down time together and finally getting to enjoy being homeowners. He has also been bad mouthing(?) us with our neighbours as we later learned. And for payback, i got to make him my bitch, twice.
Part 2 coming up. The title would be: “You f***ing people!” and involves Karen a lot more.

1. Unus Annus
2. Cooking with Sex Toys
3. Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot
4. Hot Dog'd to Death
5. Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank
6. The Good Kind of Cupping 🙂
7. The Bad Kind of Cupping 😐
8. The Worst Kind of Cupping 😨
9. Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls
10. Doing Each Other's Makeup in the Dark
11. Baby Hands Operation
12. Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost
13. 2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition
14. Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise...)
15. Play-Doh Thanksgiving
16. Helium Therapy
17. Drawing Memes from Memory
18. 1 Man 100 Accents
19. An A.I. Predicts How We're Going to Die
20. Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond
21. The Chubby Gummy Challenge
22. We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React To It
23. Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room
24. Ethan Destroys Mark's Van with a Bat
25. There's Still Hope...
26. Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral
27. The Great Meat Mistake
28. Acupuncture Is NOT Painful
29. Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank
30. Mark Reviews The Impossible Burger But There’s a Looming Sense of Impending Doom
31. We Made Nude Paintings of Eachother
32. You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel... But Only One Could Win
33. We Had To Drink Each Other’s Pee
34. Ethan Explores Mark's Haunted Basement
35. Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button
36. Ethan’s Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon 💅🏼
37. Taped and Afraid
38. What Was The Most Painful Thing We've Ever Endured?
39. Donating Toys to Charity w/ JackSepticEye
40. Harnessing Our Dogs' Unlimited Energy
41. Santa's Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog)
42. Forcibly Turning Mark Into Santa Claus Against His Will
43. Preserving Ourselves In Wax
44. Beating Inanimate Objects to Death
45. Emotional Pain vs Physical Pain... Which is Worse?
46. Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don't Watch This Video)
47. You Blink You Lose
48. 2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test
49. We Took The Polar Plunge
50. Hiding Our Sins from Amy's Holy Peepers
51. We Eat Bugs
52. DIY Bungee Jump (please don't try this)
53. We Have The BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise
54. Who Can Make Themselves Taller?
55. The Sensory Overload Tank
56. Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin
57. We Took an IQ Test
58. Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN
59. Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping
60. We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins
61. Learning to Breathe Underwater
62. Fixing Mark's Hole with Ramen but Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God
63. Mark Steals Ethan’s Face
64. You Breathe You Die
65. 2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa
66. DIY Geriatric Simulator
67. This Is How We'll Die...
68. We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves
69. This is What Being Tased Feels Like
70. What Happens When A Youtube Channel Dies?
71. Bad Bad Beans
72. We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams
73. We Turned Our Bodies Into Art
74. Mark and Ethan Learn About The Human Body
75. Mark Punishes Ethan
76. Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death
77. DIY Cheese
78. Hacking The Very Fabric of the Universe
79. Looking at Long Lost Memes
80. Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life
81. Turning Mark Into an E-Boy
82. Ethan Redefines Male Beauty
83. Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond)
84. An Extremely Sour, Not-at-all Sour Meal
85. Literally Eating Fire
86. Unregulated Axe Throwing
87. Literally Laying On Literal Broken Glass
88. Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature
89. Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game
90. Becoming a Master of Mime
91. Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other but It's Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha
92. Are We Already Dead?
93. Our Perfect (and last) Valentine's Day
94. Drunk College Party Simulator
95. 10 Strange Amazon Products Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn't Know How to Spend Money Responsibly
96. Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death
97. 3 Big Boys Attempt the King's Royal Fitness Test
98. Being Attacked by a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog
99. Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery
100. The Ultimate Trolley Problem
101. Goat Yoga
102. Edible Slime was a Mistake.
103. Granting Access Into Heaven's Sweet Gates
104. Long Hair, Do We Dare?
105. We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes
106. Mark and Ethan Go on a "Drum Date"
107. Blowing Our Souls Into Some Hot Glass
108. Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On
109. Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition
110. REAL Ghost Hunting at an Abandoned Zoo
111. We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us
112. Becoming the World’s Greatest DJs
113. Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest?
114. Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death
115. DIY Chiropractor
116. Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight
117. The Barrel - Official Music Video
118. We Got Pepper Sprayed
119. We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded
120. What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship?
121. Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat)
122. Mark Needs To Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him
123. 2 Idiots Get Crushed by 18-Foot Giant Snakes
124. Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna into a Portable Hell
125. Mark and Ethan Hunt The World's Most Wanted Criminals
126. Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast
127. 5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death
128. We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator
129. Recreating the Miracle of Childbirth
130. Mark and Ethan Are Now Fathers
131. We Force James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course
132. Desperately Trying To Not Touch Our Faces
133. Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition
134. Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt
135. Having an Adventure In VR Chat Because We Can't Go Outside
136. Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse
137. Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse?
138. Ultimate YouTuber Boxing Showdown
139. The Deep End of Omegle: Risky Boogaloo
140. Where in the World is Unus Annus?
141. Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time
142. Mark's 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless
143. Wikifeet: A Tale of 2 Tootsies
144. We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games
145. We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins
146. We Played Mad Libs And Ran It Through Google Translate
147. Mark and Ethan Desperately Try and Name a Single State in the USA
148. Speed Reading 1000+ WPM to Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge
149. What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube?
150. We Found Websites That The World Forgot About
151. The Scariest True Stories on the Internet
152. How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend
153. Mark and Ethan Find The Lost City of El Dorado
154. Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race
155. The Creepiest Videos on Youtube
156. Help Us Break a YouTube World Record
157. 2 Men 200 Accents
158. The Illuminati... Do They Really Exist?
159. Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis
160. Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories
161. Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test
162. Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity As We Know It?
163. Running Internet Drama through Google Translate
164. The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake
165. Two Male Men Judge Female Women on Their Beauty
166. Bored? Press This Button.
167. Don't Go in the Ocean... Ever.
168. We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of our Wildy Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mysteries
169. We Looked at Unus Annus Memes
170. Is Mark a Masochist?
171. What the Hell is a Pink Trombone?
172. Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020
173. Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something
174. An A.I. Generates Our Worst Nightmare
175. Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among us?
176. Like It or Not... This is What The New Human Looks Like
177. Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does it Take to Kill a Man?
178. Unus Annus ASMR
179. We Attempted to Create THICC Water
180. Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare For Our Inevitable Demise
181. How Tall Can A Human Get?: An Impartial Review by 2 Average Height Men
182. Mark Teaches Ethan Korean
183. Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend
184. The End of Unus Annus is Almost Here...
185. We Explore the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes
186. How Big Can a Nuke Get?
187. How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man?
188. Drinking Real THICC Water... How Bad Does It Taste?
189. We Played Strip Poker
190. Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End The World As We Know It
191. Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime
192. We Play the Newlywed Game While Consuming That Which Will Kill the Other
193. DIY Boob
194. We Have the Best Bellies on Youtube
195. The Unus Annus Confessional Booth
196. DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080
197. Only UNUS-es May Watch This Video
198. Only ANNUS-es May Watch This Video
199. Only Watch from 2:15 to 6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THIS VIDEO
200. DIY Wine
201. Tearing a Phone Book in Half with Our Huge Manly Muscles
202. 2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition
203. BLACK LIVES MATTER. Resources and How You Can Help in the Description.
204. Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs
205. Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses
206. Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes
207. Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked on Phonics
208. Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight
209. There's Something Horribly Wrong with This Picture...
210. Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions
211. Mark and Ethan Become United States Citizens
212. We Made Fanart for Each Other
213. Our Fans Try to Scare Us with Their Homemade Creepypasta
214. Recreating Childhood Photos
215. Will We Break the Boards... Or Will They Break Us?
216. Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet
217. Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views
218. Pee Sauna
219. Building IKEA's Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instructions is Impossible
220. Becoming One With the Horse
221. The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown
222. Creating Mark FISHbach
223. Learning How to Lock Pick (FBI Please Don't Watch)
224. The Most Dangerous Shave
225. Ethan Traps Mark's Soul in the Palm of his Hand
226. Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot For An Elegant Beast
227. 2 Men In a Trench Coat Teach You How to Save Money at the Movies
228. Building the World's First IKEA Boat
229. Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim
230. 10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw on Planet Earth
231. 2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out With Soap
232. Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof.
233. Recreating Mark's Childhood
234. We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler
235. Dummy THICC for Dummies | A Tale of 2 Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond
236. Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity From Benjamin Franklin
237. The Candy Bra Challenge
238. Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes
239. Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing
240. This Is Hiding On Your Body RIGHT NOW.
241. Tasting Weird Food Combos: Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce?
242. The Unus Annus Space Program
243. The Egg Smashing Game
244. Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream?
245. Bleachus Annus
246. Dunking Oreos In Literally Anything But Milk
247. Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our Youtube Famous Dogs
248. DIY Teeth
249. How to Escape from a Hostage Situation
250. Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work?
251. DIY Bed of Nails : OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T EVER TRY THIS
252. The Human Mop
253. Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds?
254. This Is The Most Dangerous Children's Toy Ever Made
255. Would Chica Save Us From Drowning?
256. We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could
257. The Beginning of The End
258. The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest
259. Ultimate Horseshoes
260. A Serious Conversation Under the Stars
261. Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength
262. 5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard
263. Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet
264. Playing Cards: The World's Deadliest Weapon
265. We Lubed Our Floor for a Sliding Competition
266. Breaking Glass With Our Screams
267. This is Goodbye
268. Mark and Ethan Share a Drink
269. The Wubble
270. Mark and Ethan Shave Chica
271. DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
272. Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas
273. Hydro Dipping A Baby
274. Popping Popcorn with a High-Powered Laser
275. Puberty Simulator
276. Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner's Butler for a Day
277. Momiplier Teaches Self-Defense
278. Transforming Mark into the 8th Wonder of the World
279. Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness
280. We’re Better Than Dogs
281. The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couple’s Trend
282. 1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us
283. Too Many Pickles
284. Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There's a Bear 15 Feet Away
285. How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree
286. A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night
287. How to Safely Bury Your Friend
288. Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More!
289. How to Start a Fire (except don't...)
290. Mark's Outdoor Escape Room
291. Hunting HeeHoo
292. Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus?
293. Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage
294. We Smell Every Smell
295. How Many Slaps Does It Take to Cook a Chicken?
296. 2 Boys 2 Poops
297. Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band
298. We Finally Drank Our DIY Wine
299. 2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test
300. Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors
301. We Attempt Pottery Without Amy's Help
302. Can Plants Feel Pain?
303. How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock?
304. We Pierced Each Other’s Ears
305. We Ate Dog Treats So You Don't Have To
306. We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away
307. BEYBLADE NUTBALL
308. Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger
309. Making Soda With Literally Anything But Soda
310. Pee Soda
311. Learning to Use The Force
312. Brick Soccer
313. We Attempt to Make Holy Water
314. Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box
315. Mark Knows What Ethan Did...
316. This Video Will Never Make Sense
317. We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water
318. We Will Churn Thy Butter
319. Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics
320. The Great Ice Cream Cake Race
321. Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle
322. Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible
323. Consuming the World's Hottest Chip
324. This Video Went Completely Out of Control
325. The 1000 High Five Challenge
326. Bobbing For Apples But the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer
327. Mark Breaks His Nose On An Aerial Hoop
328. Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat
329. Shooting Archery ON A HORSE
330. DIY Minesweeper
331. Literally Finding a Needle in a Haystack
332. Drawing on Each Other's Backs in Total Darkness

I would like to start with a humble warning, that this will be a longer than "usual" post. Hopefully, it will compensate with the amount of information you might deem as interesting. :)
​
After finishing my first journey into the world of colors in football, by counting which teams play in red & black color combination, I decided to pursue my next curiosity:
How many football teams in the world play in unusual colors?
By this, I was thinking of teams which have a “main” color that is rarely used (grey, brown, purple, pink, etc.) or use an uncommon color combination.
Because of this coronavirus madness that is going on, I was able to spend more hours for this project than I planned, so in the end I was able to go into almost every single league in the world. I checked teams from over 400 divisions, of different tiers, from all continents. Although it’s not an official list, I tried to include as many clubs as possible on it.
Now, you're probably asking yourself "How do you measure how rare or how common is in football a color / combination of colors?"
An exact answer is impossible to give, so I started the study using my own experience as a football supporter, finally finding an useful purpose for the thousands of hours spent on watching football games. Therefore, I used a subjective point of view and excluded the color combinations that I, personally, considered to be the most common in football teams, namely:

• One-color kits: white, black, red, blue, yellow, green
• Most 2-color combinations that contain white or black: white-blue, white-red, black-yellow, black-green, etc.
• Other combinations: red-blue, red-yellow, blue-yellow, yellow-green.
• An exception was the color orange, where I excluded only the orange+black combination, which is much more widespread than all other combinations that include orange.

​
The selection criteria for the teams were as follows:

1. The team should have their main kit in colors which are different than the ones enumerated above;
2. The team must have played or been associated with the colors for several seasons;
3. The team should be currently active (dissolved clubs were not included).

​
But enough introduction, let’s jump straight into the list of the most uncommon kit colors in the world of football:
​

CATEGORY I - Teams with 1 main color

1. Purple (includes purple+white or purple+black) - [73 clubs]
Notable teams: Fiorentina, Anderlecht, Toulouse, Austria Vienna, Real Valladolid.
Other teams (by conference):
UEFA (photo gallery here) - CE Carroi (Andorra), SV Austria Salzburg, Austria Klagenfurt (Austria), K Beerschot VA (Belgium), Etar Veliko Tarnovo (Bulgaria), NK Dubrava (Croatia), Daventry Town FC (England), Istres (France), VfL Osnabrück, Erzgebirge Aue (Germany), Ujpest, Békéscsaba 1912, Kecskemet TE (Hungary), ACD Legnano, AS Ostia Mare, Gioiese, Casoria Calcio 1979 (Italy), St. Andrews FC (Malta), FC Argeș, ASU Politehnica Timișoara, ACS Poli Timișoara (Romania), FK Graficar (Serbia), KFC Komarno (Slovakia), NK Maribor (Slovenia), Real Jaen, Alameda de Osuna EF, CD Becerril, Atletico Guadalajara, CD Guadalajara, CD Liendo, CD Santurtzi, CD Palencia, La Baneza (Spain) (Spain), Afjet Afyonspor, Hacettepe, Orduspor (Turkey).
Rest of the World (photo gallery here):

• COMNEBOL - Club Villa Dalmine, Sacachispas FC, Club Atlético Quiroga (Argentina), Deportes Concepcion, San Antonio Unido (Chile) Defensor Sporting, CA Fenix (Uruguay), Metropolitanos FC (Venezuela).
• CONCACAF - Orlando City, Louisville City FC, Oakland County FC (USA), Pacific FC (Canada), CD Chalatenango (El Salvador).
• CAF - Mountain of Fire and Miracles FC (Nigeria), Mbeya City FC (Tanzania), AS Denguele Foot (Ivory Coast), Fovu Baham FC (Cameroon), AS Sonabel (Burkina Faso).
• AFC - FC Anyang (South Korea), Kyoto Sanga, Sanfrecce Hiroshima, Fujieda MYFC (Japan), Heilongjiang Lava Spring (China), Hanoi FC (Vietnam), Nagaworld FC (Cambodia), Persita Tangerang, Persik Kediri, PSGC Ciamin (Indonesia), Al-Ain (UAE), De Abasin Sape (Afghanistan), Perth Glory (Australia).
• OFC - AS Manu-Ura (Tahiti).

​
2. Burgundy (includes burgundy+white, or similar shades: maroon, claret, dark red, wine red) - [74 clubs]
Notable teams: AC Torino, Metz, Sparta Prague, CFR Cluj.
Other teams (by conference):
UEFA (photo gallery here) - FK Sarajevo (Bosnia), Chelmsford City, FC Northampton Town (England), JJK Jyväskylä (Finland), Dynamo Berlin (Germany), AEL Larissa (Greece), UM Selfoss (Iceland), Galway United (Ireland), Reggina, Cittadella, Salernitana, Trapani, Livorno, US Pontedera, Arezzo, Reggio Audace FC, Fano, US Capistrello, AC Morrone, AC Locri, ASD Bovalinese, Borgosesia Calcio, Milano City FC, Union Clodiense Chioggia, USD Breno, Olympia Agnonese, ASD Travestere Calcio, AC Nardo, ASD Citta di Acireale (Italy), FC Džiugas Telšiai (Lithuania), Nardo FK (Norway), CD Fatima, Clube Oriental de Lisboa (Portugal), Rapid Bucharest, Viitorul Ianca (Romania), AC Libertas (San Marino), Heart of Midlothian FC, Stenhousemuir FC (Scotland), NK Triglav Kranj (Slovenia), Independiente de Vallecas, CD Cenicero (Spain), Hatayspor, İnegölspor, Bandirmaspor, Elazigspor (Turkey), Cardiff Metropolitan University FC (Wales).
Rest of the World (photo gallery here):

• COMNEBOL - Lanús (Argentina), Jacuipense, Ferroviaria, S.E.R. Caxias do Sul (Brasil), Deportivo Liberacion (Paraguay), Club Atletico Torino (Peru), Carabobo FC (Venezuela)
• CONCACAF - Sacramento Republic FC (USA), Valour FC (Canada), Deportivo Saprissa (Costa Rica)
• CAF - Manzini Wanderers FC (Eswatini), Generation Foot (Senegal), Moroka Swallows FC (South Africa)
• AFC - Vissel Kobe, FC Ryukyu (Japan), Al Wahda (UAE), Al Markhiya (Qatar), Shahr Khodro FC (Iran), Al Nasr SC (Kuwait), PSM Makassar (Indonesia), Nejmeh SC (Lebanon)
• OFC - Matavera FC (Cook Islands), FC Guadalcanal (Solomon Islands).

​
3. Orange (includes orange+white) - [54 clubs]
--- full photo gallery here ---

• UEFA - HNK Sibenik (Croatia), Blackpool (England) SV TEC (Netherlands), Hapoel Rishon LeZion (Israel), Pistoiese (Italy), FK Banga Gargzdai (Lithuania), Bruk-Bet Termalica Nieciecza, Zagłębie Lubin (Poland), CD Burgos Promesas (Spain), AFC Eskiltuna (Sweden), Alanyaspor, Adanaspor (Turkey), FC Mariupol (Ukraine).
• COMNEBOL - Nova Iguaçu FC (Brazil), Cobresal, Cobreloa (Chile) Envigado FC (Colombia), Universidad César Vallejo (Peru).
• CONCACAF - Houston Dynamo, Rio Grande Valley Football Club Toros (USA), Deportivo Achuapa (Guatemala), Cibao FC (Dominican Republic), Guayama FC (Puerto Rico)
• CAF - RS Berkane (Morocco), FC Nouadhibou (Mauritania), Polokwane City FC (South Africa), Akwa United (Nigeria), Dire Dawa Kenema (Ethiopia), Salitas FC (Burkina Faso), Côte d'Or FC (Seychelles), Fosa Juniors FC (Madagascar)
• AFC - Jeju United FC (South Korea). Shimizu S-Pulse, Omiya Ardija (Japan), Ratchaburi, Sukhothai FC, Nakhon Ratchasima, Sisaket FC, Kasetsart FC, Udon Thani FC (Thailand), FELDA United (Malaysia), SHB Đà Nẵng (Vietnam), Albirex FC Singapore, Hougang United FC (Singapore), Borneo FC (Indonesia), Sporting Clube de Goa, FC Goa, NEROCA FC (India), Saipa FC (Iran), Sanat Mes Kerman (Iran), Brothers Union FC (Bangladesh), Ajman Club (UAE), UMM Salal (Qatar), Al-Hala SC (Bahrain).
• OFC - AS Lössi (New Caledonia)

​
4. Pink (includes pink+black) - [7 clubs]

• UEFA - Palermo (Italy), Wexford FC (Ireland)
• COMNEBOL - Sport Boys Callao (Peru)
• CAF - Herentals College FC (Zimbabwe)
• AFC - CLB Saigon (Vietnam), Chainat Hornbill FC (Thailand), EVO United (Laos).

​
5. Cream - [3 clubs]
Universitario, Universidad Tecnica Cajamarca, Leon de Huanuco (all from Peru).
​
6. Grey - [5 clubs]

• UEFA - Alessandria Calcio (Italy)
• COMNEBOL - Tigres FC (Colombia)
• CONCACAF - Deportivo Carchá (Guatemala)
• AFC - Al-Tai FC (Saudi Arabia), Club Green Streets (Maldives)

​
7. Brown (includes brown+white) - [7 clubs]

• UEFA - FC St.Pauli (Germany), Mjøndalen IF (Norway), RKS Garbarnia Kraków (Poland)
• COMNEBOL - Club Atletico Platense (Argentina)
• CAF - Sidama Coffee FC (Ethiopia)
• AFC - Al-Jabalain (Saudi Arabia)

​

CATEGORY II - Teams with 2 main colors

1. Green + Red [34 clubs]
Notable teams: Lokomotiv Moscow, Maritimo Funchal
Other teams (full photo galllery here):

• UEFA - CS Sedan Ardennes, US Lusitanos Saint Maur (France), Alba Adriatica, Union Feltre (Italy), Speranța Drochia (Moldova), SP Cailungo (San Marino), Amio SD, Laracha CF, Apurtuarte Club, CF Jacetano (Spain), Amed SK, Karşıyaka S.K., Diyarbakirspor (Turkey)
• COMNEBOL - Club Agropecuario, Sportivo Atlético Club Las Parejas (Argentina), Portuguesa RJ, Pato Branco EC (Brazil), Boston River (Uruguay)
• CONCACAF - AD Carmelita, AD Guanacasteca (Costa RIca), SV Robinhood (Suriname)
• CAF - Stade Tunisien (Tunisia), MC Alger, JSM Bejaia (Algeria), Africa Sports d'Abidjan (Ivory Coast), Teichman City FC (Ghana), Canon Yaounde (Cameroon), Defense Force SC (Ethiopia), AS Pikine (Senegal), Masters Security FC (Malawi).
• AFC - Lokomotiv Tashkent (Uzbekistan), Adamstown Rosebud FC (Australia).

​
2. Green + Blue [16 clubs]
Notable teams: Seattle Sounders
Other teams (full photo gallery here):

• UEFA - Seravezza Pozzi Calcio, Feralpisalò (Italy), FK Zemun (Serbia), CD Berceo, SD Ordenes (Spain), Çaykur Rizespor
• COMNEBOL - Atletico Guanare (Venezuela)
• CONCACAF - Hartford Athletic (USA), Santa Tecla FC (El Salvador), Deportivo Mixco (Guatemala), Montego Bay United (Jamaica)
• CAF - Misr Lel Makasa (Egypt)
• AFC - Shonan Bellmare (Japan), Samut Prakan City FC (Thailand), Al Shoula FC (Saudi Arabia).

​
3. Blue + Azure (or any other combination of two shades of blue) [28 clubs]
Notable teams: Zenit St. Petersburg, Sydney FC
Other teams (full photo gallery here):

• UEFA - Rukh Brest (Belarus), Wycombe Wanderers FC (England), AC Le Havre, Trelissac Foot (France), Avondale United FC (Ireland), UC AlbinoLeffe, Calcio Lecco 1912 (Italy), Zejtun Corinthians (Malta), Portstewart FC (Northern Ireland), Stabaek (Norway), Progresul Spartac Bucharest (Romania), OFK Bačka (Serbia), Florida CF (Spain), Husqvarna FF (Sweden), Adana Demirspor, Ankara Demirspor (Turkey), Cambrian & Clydach Vale (Wales)
• COMNEBOL - Macará (Ecuador)
• CONCACAF - Sporting Kansas City, El Paso Locomotive (USA), Municipal Perez Zeledon (Costa Rica)
• AFC - Sorrento FC (Australia), Electricite du Cambodge (Cambodia), Punjab FC (India), Karachi Port Trust FC (Pakistan), Naft Al-Junoob SC (Iraq).

​
4. Orange + Blue [24 clubs]
Notable teams: Montpellier, Istanbul Bașakșehir
Other teams (full photo gallery here):

• UEFA - OFC Sliven 2000 (Bulgaria), Braintree Town FC, Mansfield Town FC (England), Lions Gibraltar FC, ASD Czarlins Muzane (Italy), Aalesunds FK (Norway), AE Roses (Spain)
• COMNEBOL - Duque de Caxias (Brazil), Academia Puerto Cabello (Venezuela)
• CONCACAF - FC Cincinnati (USA), Lobos UPNFM (Honduras)
• CAF - Real Kings FC (South Africa), Sunshine Stars (Nigeria)
• AFC - Albirex Niigata (Japan), Queensland Lions FC, Riverside Olympic (Australia), Wellington United (New Zealand), Thai Port FC (Thailand), Al Fayha (Saudi Arabia), Al Karamah SC (Syria), Homenetmen Beirut (Lebanon)
• OFC - AS Dragon (Tahiti).

​
5. Orange + Green [5 clubs]

• UEFA - Atletico Cenaia (Italy)
• CONCACAF - Deportivo Siquinala (Guatemala)
• CAF - FC Renaissance du Congo (DRC), ZESCO United, Green Eagles FC (Zambia)

​
6. Orange + Grey [2 clubs]
AFC Odorheiu Secuiesc (Romania), Forge FC (Canada).
​
7. Orange + Purple [1 club] - FK Armavir (Russia)
​
8. Purple + Yellow [6 clubs]

• UEFA - Bosna Visoko (Bosnia), PEPO Laapenranta (Finland), VV Sint Bavo (Netherlands), Burjassot CF (Spain), Eyüpspor (Turkey)
• CAF - Medeama SC (Ghana)

​
9. Claret + Yellow / Amber [4 clubs]

• UEFA - Bradford City AFC (England) Motherwell (Scotland), USD Alto Tavoliere San Severo (Italy)
• CAF - Young Buffaloes (Eswatini).

​
10. Claret + Gold [2 clubs]
Deportes Tolima (Colombia), Stellenbosch FC (South Africa)
​
11. Claret + Blue [22 clubs]
Notable teams: Aston Villa, Burnley, West Ham United, Trabzonspor
Other teams (full photo gallery here):

• UEFA - Enosis Neon Paralimni FC (Cyprus), Scunthorpe United, Weymouth FC (England), Argja Bóltfelag (Feroe), Glacis United (Gibraltar), Cobh Ramblers FC, Drogheda United (Ireland), USD Vipo Trento, FC Rieti (Italy), Gzira United (Malta), Veles Moscow (Russia), Keith FC (Scotland), Pontevedra CF (Spain), AC Bellinzona (Switzerland), Colwyn Bay FC (Wales)
• CONCACAF - Colorado Rapids (USA)
• AFC - APIA Leichhardt FC (Australia)
• OFC - Nasinu Masters FC (Fiji)

​
12. Claret + Green [1 club] - Ciudad de Plasencia CF (Spain)
​
13. Pink + Blue [5 clubs]

• UEFA - Dulwich Hamlet FC (England)
• CONCACAF - Forward Madison FC (USA)
• AFC - Cerezo Osaka, Sagan Tosu (Japan), Nongbua Pitchaya FC (Thailand).

​
14. Brown + Blue [1 club] - Al-Kawkab FC (Saudi Arabia)
​
15. Brown + Yellow [2 clubs]
Trujillanos FC (Venezuela), Ohod Club (Saudi Arabia)
​
16. Brown + Amber [1 club] - Sutton United (England)
​
17. Grey + Red [4 clubs]
UEFA - Cremonese (Italy), Pembroke Athleta FC (Malta), Strommen IF (Norway), Club Esportiu Jupiter (Spain).
​
18. Grey + Blue [2 club]

• COMNEBOL - Emelec (Ecuador)
• CONCACAF - Minnesota United (USA)

​
19. Lime Green + Black [10 clubs]

• UEFA - Forest Green Rovers (England), NK Dravograd, NK Krka (Slovenia)
• COMNEBOL - Atletico Socopo FC (Venezuela)
• CONCACAF - FC Juarez/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/65040157/1166117342.jpg.0.jpg) (Mexico)
• CAF - Dreams FC (Ghana)
• AFC - Jeonbuk Hyundai FC (South Korea), Xinjiang Tianshan Leopard FC (China), Lampang FC (Thailand), Tainan City F.C. (Taiwan)

​
20. Lime Green + White [1 club] - Pirata FC (Peru)
​

CATEGORY III - Teams with 3 main colors

1. Blue + Yellow + Red [3 clubs]

• UEFA - FC Andorra (Spain)
• CAF - Petro Atletico (Angola), Hearts of Oak (Ghana)

​
2. Blue + Yellow + White [1 club] - CA Bella Vista (Uruguay)
​
3. Blue + Yellow + Black [1 club] - Real Sport Clube (Portugal)
​
4. Blue + Green + White [1 club] - St. Louis FC (USA)
​
5. Blue + Orange + White [2 clubs]

• RBC Roosendaal, ONS Sneek (Netherlands)

​
6. Orange + Green + Black [1 club] - Venezia (Italy)
​
7. Orange + Green + White [1 club] - Deportivo Masaya (Nicaragua)
​
8. Green + Yellow + Black [1 club] - GKS Jastrzębie (Poland)
​
9. Green + Yellow + Red [4 clubs]

• UEFA - KV Oostende (Belgium), UD San Lorenzo del Flumen (Spain)
• COMNEBOL - Sampaio Correa FC (Brasil)
• CONCACAF - Tornados de Humacao (Puerto Rico)

​
10. Green + Red + White [13 clubs]
Notable teams: Fluminense
Other teams:

• UEFA - Lanusei Calcio (Italy), CD Fortuna, Racing Club Villalbes (Spain)
• COMNEBOL - Operário Várzea-Grandense, Salgueiro AC (Brazil), Palestino (Chile), Colon FC (Uruguay)
• CONCACAF - Atletico Chiriqui (Panama)
• CAF - USM Bel-Abess (Algeria)
• AFC - Marconi Stallions (Australia), Al-Ettifaq (Saudi Arabia), Al-Wehdat SC (Jordan)

​
11. Green + Red + Black [11 clubs]

• UEFA - Ternana, Grassina Calcio, ASD Vis Artena (Italy), NEC Nijmegen (Netherlands), Glentoran (Northern Ireland), GKS Tychy (Poland), CD Soto de la Vega (Spain).
• COMNEBOL - Club Atletico San Jorge (Argentina), Rampla Juniors, Deportivo Maldonado (Uruguay)
• CAF - FAR Rabat

​
12. Green + Black + White [2 clubs]

• Racing Santander (Spain), York9 FC (Canada)

​
13. Green + Burgundy + White [2 clubs]

• Sancataldese Calcio (Italy), Mohun Bagan (India)

​
14. Red + Orange + Black [1 club] - Nagoya Grampus (Japan)
​
15. Red + Yellow + Black [8 clubs]

• UEFA - Mechelen (Belgium), Bradford AFC Park Avenue (England), RC Lens (France), Virtus Bassano (Italy)
• CONCACAF - Leones Negros Univ. de Guadalajara (Mexico)
• CAF - Esperance Tunis, ES Zarzis, ES Metlaoui (Tunisia)

​
16. Claret + Blue + Yellow [1 club] - Madureira EC (Brazil)
​
17. Pink + Blue + White [1 club] - Yangon United (Myanmar)
​

Category IV - Teams with 4 main colors

1. Red + Yellow + Green + White [4 clubs]

• COMNEBOL - Brusque (Brazil), Lota Schwager (Chile), Real Cartagena (Colombia)
• OFC - Lae City FC (Papua New Guinea)

​
2. Red + Yellow + Blue + White [1 club] - ASDC Verbania (Italy)
​
3. Red + Yellow + Blue + Black [1 club] - Coras de Nayarit (Mexico)
​
Here they are. 454 teams from across the entire the world, from Feroe Island to Papua New Guinea or the 4th Italian league. This should be about it. However, if there are by any chance teams that I might have missed, please feel free to leave a comment and I will add them on the list.
Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed it!

This post is aimed at the ones that are on the fence watching or have jumped the fence but have not a truly formed opinion. There are a lot of opinions about Star Citizen, but I have never seen publicized (not saying they do not exist) a more neutral stance opinion.
While I was thinking about Star Citizen and certain things I have been reading/hearing (good or bad) in the last year to this point, and how new players end up feeling "cheated" not by the game, but how they perceived the game by the community way of exposing things, I decided to sit down, make a cup of cappuccino and write this Q&A style post which I think better illustrates what I'm trying to pass across.
Just a brief explanation of my story with Star Citizen before me procced. I have been following this game since patch 2.1 I believe (a shit ton of years ago) at that time, I was watching a specific streamer which made me jump in the hype wagon. I cashed out the basic pack of the time, an Aurora, and jumped on the game. HOLY. FUCKING. MOLE. Seeing and playing are two very different things. Even for me at the time I was well aware of this fact (less than today, but was). After 3 to 4 days of having purchased my Aurora, I asked for a refund (wich was given), stop following the game, and moved on.
I still read some news from Star Citizen from time to time. At this time, the majority of news was not very different from what you can see today, outside of SC content creators. The game is a scam, the game is delayed while scamming players, SC fans are getting angry, the money is drying up, the game is dead, etc, etc.
Them 2018, I for some reason, end up following the game, and mid of 2019 I once again forked the cash-out. Bought a Cutlass Black game pack that I changed to my current setup Anvil Pisces pack (PU + SQ42 68 euros); Banu Merchantman (300 and something euros) and Aegis Sabre (160 euros or whatever) 550 to 600 euros total +/-
With my presentation made, Let's follow with the Q&A type session.
Q: Is this game a Scam?
A: Clearly at this point in the game life, people that still spout this nonsense have never been scammed or have very little clues about what a scam is supposed to be. Trying to explain why the Sun is hot is stupidy, the Sun is hot period, you do need to be a fucking scientist to figure that one out. Nop, Star Citizen, at the moment I'm writing this post, is not a Scam, period.
Q: But Star Citizen as made more than 300 million just from backers, and depending on who you check the game as been in development from 8 to 10 years. How can it not be a Scam?
A: Is not a Scam, but it's also a prime example of bad money management. If all this money had better management, the project would be 2 to 3 years added of its current stat.
Q: But its been 8 to 10 years developing the game, X game (insert whatever game you want here) took 4 to 7 years and cost much less to make.
A: I will reiterate again, This project had money wasted (millions), that is a fact. But I dare any of the initial backers to come here and tell they were sure SC would gather so much money under its belt? I dare any of the initial backers if Chris Roberts went and opened a studio in the UK: Germany and the dunno how many in the USA right out the belt if they would not call in crazy right in the spot. A megalomaniac dreaming of grandeur.
A lot of people can squirm all they want. One thing is having a studio/studios already in place with devs in their wings under contract, the other is to make everything from scratch. That takes time and more extra money (we are talking millions here, not thousands)
This was the game pitched by the end of 2012 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92rb-8mYHE0 now compare to what we have today...
Q: And the 30 thousand game packs the game sell? Players spending hundreds and thousands in the game. I read about a lot of them saying they were scammed. Do I need that amount to play the game?
A: Nah, they were not scammed. They are simply stupid! Coming to SC that is in development, spending hundreds to thousands, and them cry that the milk bottle fell on the floor and the cat is drinking the milk is like the pinnacle of human stupidity. I love even more the ones saying that they then need the money back because they cannot pay for their current expenses and as such were scammed... Backers can be angry about a lot of things in SC. One of the most in face cases being that CIG oand Chris Robert being natural fucking liars about release dates, and everything that comes out of their mouths should not be believed until it's finally in-game or released. But spending an absurd amount of money that some simply cannot afford to spend and then saying CIG is at fault... rotfl! Cry me some more please =D
And no, you do not need to spend so much. Buy the Cutlass Black pack or Freelance pack and you can do almost everything the game as to offer to this day. Also, remember that you can now buy in-game or simply rent a great number of ships.
Q: But, but, and CR mansion? Boat? Where did he found money for all that? For sure money, it's ending in his pocket!
A: Do you still believe in unicorns and fairies? Of course, the man put money in his pockets! And I'm quite certain was not the only one. The day you can find a place were a multi-million dollar project as no corruption, it's the day you know you are dead and you had the good fortune to end up in Heaven. Congratulations.
Q: So, me buying SC is a sure bet, right?
A: Holy Moly, this question it's so ambiguous and open for debate at this stage of SC live that here is where I think a lot of newcomers are fucked right in the ass.
The first and most important thing that future and current players have to understand... SC is not a game, but a tech demo at the moment. So, if you are going to SC thinking you are buying a game today, I can tell you, NO! You are NOT buying a game, but a promise.
Q: But there are streamers streaming this game all the time. YouTubers. Organizations. How can you say this is a tech demo and not a game?
A: The first two you mention are 90% in the category of "they enjoy the game and want to try to make a living off the game"
Not today, maybe one or another already can, but the idea is to establish yourself as an SC content creator and when the game finally booms in the scene, they will get a large enough base that will allow them to make a living of content creation of this game.
I can assure you for a fact, that streamers and YouTubers have been raised and killed in the years that SC as been up and about because it still as not reach the main stage.
The other 10% and organizations have fun with what SC already offers and they enjoy making content for SC and playing with other like-minded players.
Q: Now I'm confused. Then I should not buy Star Citizen?
A: Again, ambiguous, and open for debate. I will repeat myself, SC is not a game, but a tech demo in its current development stage. Buying in SC right at this moment is beliving in a promise. CIG is putting forward, bit by bit, small step by small step a bigger and bigger tech demo, that will at one point finally be called Star Citizen the game.
Can you have fun in its current life cycle? Sure you can! But you need to understand what the game as to offer atm and if it really can give you that amount of fun. I'm going to use myself as an example. World of Warcraft a game loved by millions. If you ask me, do I prefer to play for 2 hours WoW or SC I'm going to say Star Citizen. No, I'm not saying SC is a superior game, God no! I'm saying is that I don't enjoy playing WoW (single target bash bash, is not my cup of tea) and enjoy much more the little content offered by SC compared to the megamouth that WoW is.
Q: What do you enjoy in the game?
A: I feel immersed in the Star Citizen world. I enter SC and my body is not feeling any pressure. I like visually what I see. I love the feeling of entering my ship and sitting on the cockpit and saying "wow, this ship is mine." I can look at the stars in the sky and be a part of them. I love the work the devs are doing with the planet and moon tech. Hell if we were going to judge the game just for that and its soundtrack, SC would without a doubt the WoW of modern times in the success department. I enjoy flying my ship doing trade and combat. Not analyzing the current 3.10 patch changes, just saying the feeling.
Q: Then, what don't you enjoy in the game?
A: 30k errors. (If you are not aware is an error saying the server died for whatever reason). Nothing like you doing trade, having a Cat full of cargo and sayonara cargo, and all the money spent on it. If SC was able to get rid of the 30k or at least just save what we have in our cargo while trading, SC would be 100x more enjoyable. Lack of optimization. I have a ryzen 2700x, 16GB ram, and RTX2070 overclocked that makes me stay in between a normal RTX 2070 and a normal RTX 2080 and a 1440P monitor and my in-game FPS is dog shit... 30+/- in cities and 60+/- in space. It's not the best PC setup, but it's already a beefy setup. No real gameplay loops. A bunch of space full of nothing basically.
Q: But I have seen vids of players doing things like 25vs25 PvP, amazing space and planet battles, even recreating some funny things from movies and real-life events.
A: Let's take soccer as an example (I'm European, where this sport is the King here) I give you ball and a field from a major team to play on alone. Sure it's going to be fun for some time but comes to a point that it's boring as fuck. Now I get you more 21 people to play with you and a soccer field made of dirt terrain. I can assure you are going to have a ton of fun for a long time, in that shit soccer field with other players than in the all nice and pro soccer field alone. SC is the Pro soccer field all clean and beautiful without the players. For that point, any game with other people is normally fun, does not matter how shit the game is. Taking WoW again as an example. Does not matter how good the game is if you only play that game alone. After a certain time, that game is pure dog shit.
Q: I read some saying the game is getting dated and even console games are now better graphically that SC.
A: This conversation exists since the PS1 time. Insert title game in PC that as amazing graphics to have some guys saying consoles are superior... Consols are getting better and better. That is a fact, but they are still not comparable to PC. even in shit ports to PC, a lot of the games play with 30 FPS in console (not even being able to get that many FPS in all areas of the game), while their PC counterpart plays with 90+ FPS and if in a top pc 120+ FPS
Another point that is extremely important to understand, it's a single-player game is worlds different from a multiplayer game, and even more to an MMO.
It's like the Unreal Engine 5 vs SC... we still do not have a fucking game that uses the full force of Unreal Engine 4 capabilities and some are already fapping over UR5. Yes UR5 will without a doubt bring some new techs to the table that will be amazing, and I love Unreal Engine 3 and 4. But it's like RTX tech. Sure one or another game as this tech (badly implemented) but so what? The tech came to the general public in 2018 and unless you count Minecraft that as some amazing RTX usage, you will wait some more years until RTX is something that enough games will use to be considered a must-have tech... same crap with Unreal Engine 5.
Q: What about all the promises CR and CIG said about the game and we can all see it will be near impossible to come in fruition?
A: As I said before, they are liars. This project as the possibility in my opinion and many others to be an amazing game, that in normal circumstances could never be created when first pitched and in the next years. But there is a lot that was promised that will never see the light of day. That is why I advise any possible new backer to judge the project for what already as to offer and for what we can see as "real" in the near future. Not what the game will be in the next few years.
There could be more things I could write, but I believe I have put a good number of things already in this post. If anyone wants to put a question forward that wants me to answer, please feel free to do so.

Good morning from the UK. Happy St Patricks day. It'll be a woeful one for many Irish people around the world with pubs and bars shut in multiple US states, several European countries, several Asian countries and worst of all, Ireland itself. Here in the UK you can still go to the pub, although as of late yesterday afternoon the UK government advised against it says the BBC.
​
Virus statistics
Several comments from redditors in past days complained the WHO stats I C&P'd did not come very close to reflecting stats being quoted by national media wherever they lived. As a result, I'm abandoning the WHO stats and going back to the John Hopkins University tracker stats for all countries. If it's good enough for the likes of Forbes, Business Insider, FT, USA Today to regularly cite it then it's good enough for me:-
​

Region	Today (John Hopkins Stats at time of writing)	Yesterday (John Hopkins stats not the WHO's)	% daily change
Global	182,424	169,387	+7.7%
China	81,053	81,020	+0.4%
Italy	27,980	24,747	+13.1%
Iran	14,991	13,938	+7.6%
Spain	9,942	7,844	+26.7%
South Korea	8,320	8,162	+1.9%
Germany	7,272	5,813	+25.1%
France	6,655	5,437	+22.4%
USA	4,661	3,774	+23.5%
Switzerland	2,330	2,200	+5.9%
UK	1,553	1,395	+11.3%
Netherlands	1,414	1,136	+24.5%
Norway	1,347	1,256	+7.2%
Sweden	1,121	1,032	+8.6%
Belgium	1,058	886	+19.4%
Austria	1,018	860	18.4%

​
All other countries with under 1000 identified infections not listed (sorry Denmark), yesterday's threshold was 750. Total countries infected worldwide = 155, an increase from yesterday of 9. Source for all countries (as discussed above): the John Hopkins University dashboard (Link). (Personal note: Western countries infection counts are increasing each day much faster than Asian countries but that may be due to cultural differences or it may be that they're doing my testing, if anyone can shed light on this please do).
Reminder, these are identified case counts and medical experts are reporting this virus has a long incubation period with people being infections despite displaying no symptoms; the true infection figures are likely to be much higher. Note that some countries are reporting shortages of test kits which further skews the data available; assume true cases are much higher.
Finally, no, I don't believe China's official statistics either.
​
Selected Virus news
​
Warnings of shortages of regeants (ingredients) to make test kits in the US - the Fool (a high quality finance website despite the name) reports that FDA Commissioner Stephen Hahn stated last week in testimony before a U.S. House of Representatives appropriations subcommittee that there could be supply chain issues with reagents needed for novel coronavirus diagnostic kits. He noted that the supply issues specifically apply to RNA used in testing for coronavirus disease COVID-19.
​
Shortages in US supermarkets likely to continue until panic buying eases - The LA Times says that shortages will continue until people calm down in their shopping habits. The major chains usually get shipments overnight, or perhaps twice a day, to restock essentials such as paper towels, toilet paper and water, but “manufacturers in some cases are having trouble keeping up, and that’s where the void is, they’re not able to keep up with demand,” said Bob Reeves, vice president for the West at the Shelby Report, a research firm that tracks the grocery industry. “We’re seeing shipments coming into the stores sometimes without any of those products, and it will be like that until people calm down a little bit,” he said. In some cases, chains are sending their delivery trucks directly to manufacturers — bypassing warehouses and distributors — to get the items to the stores faster. (Personal note: the same applies for all supermarket supply chains globally)
​
Pa. hospitals are rationing protective gear as the number of coronavirus cases grows - (Personal note, this is an example, there seems to be a general global shortage of medical PPE (personal protective equipment) - The Philadelphia Inquirer reports that hospitals across Pennsylvania are drastically limiting the use of key protective gear out of fears that a dramatic increase in coronavirus cases could diminish reserves and cause a dangerous shortage. The rationing comes as the state Department of Health maintains that it has personal protective equipment available and is working with health systems to make sure they have what they need. The gear includes eye protection, gowns, and N95 respirators, which are essential in preventing a health care worker from breathing in infectious particles when in close contact with someone who has COVID-19. In Philadelphia, two doctors who work at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania said it’s barring the use of N95 respirators “except in extraordinarily limited situations.” Penn Medicine declined to comment. Another city doctor, Daphne Owen, said in a tweet Thursday her clinic “for uninsured and undocumented patients” was out of masks. Two days later, the clinic, Puentes de Salud, said it was closed due to the pandemic.
​
Other Virus news in brief
- The Scottish courts and tribunals announced today that no new criminal jury trials would be commenced or new juries empanelled until further notice.
- Iran has temporarily freed a total of 85,000 prisoners, including political prisoners, a spokesman for its judiciary said on Tuesday, adding that the prisons were responding to the threat of a coronavirus epidemic in jails.
- Britain had “no time to lose” in changing tactics in order to prevent thousands of deaths and the NHS being overwhelmed, scientists providing guidance to the UK government have said. The Imperial College Covid-19 response team – which is one of several scientific teams advising UK ministers – published a paper (I've put it in the addendum below) showing that 250,000 people could die if efforts were focused only on delaying and slowing down the spread of Covid-19.Separately, England’s deputy chief medical officer, Prof Jonathan Van-Tam, could not rule out the strict measures having to last for a year but predicted they would last at least “several months“.
- Australia’s Department of Foreign Affairs has advised Australians to return home as soon as possible by commercial means because overseas travel is becoming “more complex and difficult” as countries impose travel restrictions and close their borders.
- Leaders of EU states were expected on Tuesday to suspend all travel into the passport-free Schengen zone by non-EU nationals for at least 30 days in a bid to instil uniformity across the bloc after some member states, including Austria, Hungary, the Czech Republic and Poland, unilaterally began imposing border checks.
- China has issued an angry reaction (by diplomatic standards) to the US president Donald Trump’s characterisation of the disease as “the Chinese virus.” (he tweeted late last night "The United States will be powerfully supporting those industries, like Airlines and others, that are particularly affected by the Chinese Virus. We will be stronger than ever before!"). China’s foreign ministry spokesman Geng Shuang said the US president should take care of his own matters first and not seek to “stigmatise” China.
- The postponement of soccer’s Euro 2020 Championship may already have been decided after Uefa last week cancelled its hotel bookings in Copenhagen.
- The UK just advised its citizens against all non essential travel worldwide in the past 10 minutes
- Mobile phone networks are struggling in some areas of the UK with significantly increased demands according to down detector. For sure a lot of people seem to be home working, my commute in this morning was like it was the middle of August and everyone else was on holiday.
- Alitalia, the Italian airline flag carrier is to be renationalised by Italy
- Cinema chains are closing in multiple countries due to shutdowns
- Kazakhstan is closing down its two largest cities (despite only having 32 cases so far)
- A preliminary calculation by a US expert suggests that tens of thousands of premature deaths from air pollution may have been avoided by the cleaner air in China, far higher than the 3,208 coronavirus deaths.
- Jordan: the army has said it will deploy at entrances and exits of main cities in the kingdom in a move officials said was ahead of an imminent announcement of a state of emergency to combat the spread of coronavirus.
- In a joint statement, Facebook, Google, LinkedIn, Microsoft, Reddit and YouTube said they would help ensure people could stay connected to each other during isolation as well as fight any misinformation and fraud linked to the outbreak. “We are working closely together on Covid-19 response efforts,” the statement said. “We’re helping millions of people stay connected while also jointly combating fraud and misinformation about the virus, elevating authoritative content on our platforms, and sharing critical updates in co-ordination with government healthcare agencies around the world.
- Almost all Germans shops are about to close by government decree; supermarkets, pharmacies will remain open (including on Sundays when they are usually closed). Separately, government press briefings there have gone online only.
- Olympic organisers in Japan are asking people not to create crowds along the route of the Olympic torch relay and not to gather near the route if they feel sick. A Boeing aircraft flew to Greece on 15 March to bring the torch to Japan.
- France: No movement allowed except for essential work or health reasons. “There can be no more outside meetings, no more seeing family or friends on the street or in the park. We must slow the spread of this virus by limiting the number of people we are in contact with each day to the strict minimum. If we do not, we endanger the lives of those we hold dear.” said the French President Macron.
- Israel’s government has approved emergency measures to track people suspected or confirmed to have been infected with the coronavirus by monitoring their mobile phones, immediately raising privacy concerns in the country. The cabinet unanimously approved the use of the technology, developed initially for counter-terrorism purposes, in the early hours of Tuesday morning. The Association for Civil Rights in Israel said providing the country’s internal security agency, the Shin Bet, with new secretive powers was a “dangerous precedent and a slippery slope that must be approached and resolved after much debate and not after a brief discussion”.
- Indonesian president Joko Widodo said on Saturday that he had withheld some information about cases to prevent the country from panicking, the Jakarta Post reported. He has rejected calls for a lockdown to be imposed on hard hit areas.
- Malaysia has announced it's closing its borders prompting neighbouring Singapore's citizens to panic buy (90% of their food is imported from Malaysia).
- New Zealand on Tuesday deported its first unruly traveller flouting the country’s mandatory 14-day self-isolation rule for almost all arrivals, the health ministry said. The tourist, who had checked into a backpackers hostel in the city of Christchurch, was removed from the accommodation by the police after officials learned she did not have clear self-isolation plans.
​
Economics
​
Goldman Sachs doesn't think the stock market drops have finished - BusinessInsider says that Goldman Sachs thinks that the S&P 500 might plunge as low as 2,000 before recovering through the rest of the year, the investment bank wrote Friday. The level is the benchmark index's lowest since early 2016 and implies a 20% decline from Monday's open. Such a tumble would also place the index more than 40% below its February 19 peak. The coronavirus outbreak is responsible for "unprecedented financial and societal disruption," the analysts said, and equities have so far served as accurate leading indicators before the release of relevant earnings or macroeconomic data. That said, the analysts pointed out that "The lesson of prior event-driven bear markets is that financial devastation ultimately allows a new bull market to be born,".
​
U.S. factories are likely to close because of the coronavirus’ supply-chain shock - Marketwatch reports (link) that there is a very real chance that companies from auto makers to electronics manufacturers will soon begin to cease or limit production. With a downed China as the headstream of global manufacturing, mercantile America simply can’t function as it’s accustomed to. We’re starting to see this happen in official reports: The New York Fed’s Empire State business conditions index, released Monday, plunged by a record 34.4 points to minus 21.5 in March. And Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell said Sunday he expects a contraction in GDP in the second quarter. (Personal note: I expect similar problems across all G20 countries). The article goes on to explain that many supply chain directors may understand their first tier suppliers but often do not have full visibility of the status of their 2nd or 3rd tier suppliers
​
Supply impact of the coronavirus outbreak is waning, but demand shock will linger, economist says - CNBC says that in January and February, industrial output fell by 13.5% from the same period a year earlier, the weakest reading since January 1990 — when Reuters' record began. China's industrial production is likely to improve in March over a slump in January and February due to the coronavirus outbreak, but consumer demand will take longer to recover both in the country and globally, an economist said Monday. "We will see some recovery, but this recovery, I think, is being undermined by the global spread as well," said Bo Zhuang, chief China economist at TS Lombard. Meanwhile, retail sales in January and February shrank 20.5% from a year ago, compared with a 8% growth in December as fearful consumers avoided crowded places like malls, restaurants and cinemas. "We were worried about supply-side issues, but now it's becoming a demand shock issue," said Zhuang. Smaller outfits like restaurants and service-oriented businesses have "resumed work but there are no customers," said Zhuang. "I think we are going to see a delayed V-shape (recovery), and this V may be a tilted V or W, or even U. We are not sure," he added.
​
Coronavirus Impacts Every Sector of the Supply Chain - Supply and demand chain executive reports that the global supply chain continues to experience disruption. "We have seen that in the way that it’s spreading across into different hubs where we see alternative routes to be overly burdened, such as the rail system,” says Koray Köse of Gartner. “Now with the crisis and the hubs being closed and product movements are still active to some extent, but not necessarily from those regions, will become crowded and impacted. This means that there’s an additional strain on the overall network to move material.” Some products have experienced significant upticks including Chicken noodle soup (+37%), Hand sanitizer (+65%), Disinfecting Wipes: (+353%) and Cold & Flu medications (+197%) amongst others.
​
Coronavirus pandemic worse than 1997 financial crisis, Malaysian ex-PM Mahathir warns - The Strait times reports on Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, the former premier who steered Malaysia's recovery from the 1997 Asian financial crisis, expects the current coronavirus pandemic to hit the global economy even harder. "This is worse than the financial crisis," he said in a Bloomberg Television interview. "This is really a terrible blow to the economies of the whole world." Dr Mahathir joins other world leaders in warning that the virus impact may be worse than past periods of upheaval (Personal note: I pointed out yesterday the NZ PM also saying this).
​
Supply chain news relating to Covid-19
​
For Global Supply Chains the Worst Is Yet to Come - Supply Chain Management review says (Link) that most industrial companies have 30-60 days of parts and raw materials either on hand, in-transit, or obtainable on short notice. After these supplies run out, we will start to see shortages of finished products as well as parts needed to produce other goods. Shortages will start to become more evident toward the end of March and beginning of April. Production in some non-Chinese factories will have to be put on hold for lack of parts. Partially finished products will remain in suspension until all parts are available to build finished products. Some companies are pressing their engineers to redesign parts that can be sourced in the U.S., or at least outside of China. Other companies are giving 3D printing a serious try for the first time. The article goes on to point out delays in sea freight ex-Asia and extremely high airfreighting costs are exacerbating the situation.
​
U.S. Suspends Truck-Driving Limits to Speed Coronavirus Shipments - The Wall Street Journal reports as of 2 days ago that maximum working hours for truck drivers in the US have been suspended. This applies to truck drivers moving emergency supplies such as medical equipment, hand sanitizer and food in response to the nationwide coronavirus outbreak. It comes as hospitals report shortages of medical masks and as retailers and manufacturers are straining under surging demand for everything from hand sanitizer to staples such as toilet paper and rice. As anxious consumers stockpile goods, grocers have turned to rationing, imposing purchase limits on disinfectant wipes, cleaning supplies and other high-demand products. The move is the first time the FMCSA has issued nationwide-wide relief from hours-of-service regulations, although regional declarations have waived those rules in response to disasters such as hurricanes. Federal regulations limit most commercial truck drivers to 11 hours of driving time in a 14-hour workday, restrictions intended to reduce accidents caused by highway fatigue.
​
For supply chain companies, U.S.-Mexico border closures could be catastrophic - Marketplace points out that Mexico’s deputy health minister says he’s worried about people coming into Mexico from the United States; currently the U.S. has far more cases of COVID-19 than Mexico. The Mexican government even said it might consider restricting access at its northern borders. For businesses that operate on both sides of the border, any shutdown could be catastrophic. The article gives a case study of a manfacturer employing 150 people in Texas. The company president says before anyone considers closing the border, President Donald Trump and Mexico’s president, Andrés Manuel López Obrador, should discuss a coordinated response to the virus. As for now, he says all of his people can work from home, if the situation calls for it. Everyone here has a laptop, he said. But he says the independent truck drivers and contractors who work on the loading docks, they have to be on site to run things. Those people also only get paid if they show up for work. So, for now, they’re glad the COVID-19 hasn’t shut this part of Texas down, yet.
​
It won't be long before Coronavirus shuts down local African supply chains - The major Kenyan newspaper daily nation reports that there are imminent difficulties facing Kenyan pharma firms due to the industry importing 70% of its ingredients from India and China, both of whom have restricted exports. Studies show that the Kenyan pharmaceuticals market is worth Sh100 billion ($965m USD), 80 per cent of which is prescription drugs. Although Kenya exports 50 per cent to the COMESA region and 75 per cent to East African Community, most of these exports are re-exports from India and China.
​
European automotive factories shutting down - Ferrari and Lamborghini have both suspended almost all production (says the Express and Star) whilst Yahoo Finance reports that Fiat Chrysler said in a statement on Monday 16 March that it would halt operations at most of its European plants, from now until 27 March because of an “interruption in market demand.” The Italian-American automotive group said the manufacturing stop includes six factories in Italy, the EU country worst hit by coronavirus. Italy has had over 24,700 infection cases so far, and more than 1,800 people have died from the virus. The PSA group, which includes Peugeot, Citroen, and Opel, said today it will close all its European plants, including in the UK, France and Germany for the remainder of the month too. German car giant Volkswagen is also suspending production at a number of manufacturing bases in Europe, including in Slovakia and Spain. VW-owned Seat has shuttered its main factory near Barcelona for at least the rest of the month. Meanwhile, according to the Financial Times, Volkswagen may also be forced to curtail production at the main factory in its home town of Wolfsburg, because of running low on parts.
Useful parcel courier current operational status links for anyone else in eCommerce:Canada Post, DHL Express, DPD, Fedex, Parcelforce, USPS. If anyone has any other major courier links for service status, please let us all know :)
​
Good news section
Amazon to hire 100,000 more workers and give raises to current staff to deal with coronavirus demands - CNBC says that Amazon is hiring an additional 100,000 employees in the U.S. to meet the surge in demand from online shopping amid the coronavirus outbreak, the company said Monday. The company is looking to add extra full-time and part-time positions for warehouse and delivery workers. Through the end of April, it will raise pay for these employees by $2 per hour in the U.S., £2 per hour in the UK, and approximately €2 per hour in many EU countries. Amazon currently pays $15 per hour or more in some areas of the U.S. for warehouse and delivery jobs. Amazon encouraged employees in other industries whose jobs were "lost or furloughed" as a result of the coronavirus to apply, including members of the hospitality, restaurant and travel industries. "We want those people to know we welcome them on our teams until things return to normal and their past employer is able to bring them back," the company added.
​
Educating in denial older relatives anecdote
Personal story time; my 69 year old Aunt is very grumpy because despite me telling her for well over a month, it is finally dawning on her that her dream guided coach bus tour of the West USA national parks in 10 weeks time is rapidly going up in smoke whilst my 75 year old Dad has realised his third cruise of the year (this time around the med) in 5 weeks time is also about to be toast. My Aunt complained on Facebook yesterday that nobody is mentioning the 46,000 people who have recovered from the illness and that "it's just a bit of flu". It isn't, otherwise governments around the world would not be reacting as they are.
If you have an elderly relative like mine who relies far too much on social media anecdotes rather than good quality fact based mainstream media, maybe point them at this businessinsider article here where it points out that 1) flu mortality rates are 0.1% vs. Covid-19 is 3.4% and 2) for 70-79 the mortality rate is 8% and for over 80's it's 14.8%. Hopefully they might just realise the seriousness of the situation; my Aunt dismissed it as "a website I've never heard of and won't believe" despite the article clearly citing CDC figures.
​
----------------
Donations
Several asked if they can send me $/£/€ via Patreon (in some cases because I've saved them time or money, others for no reason at all). I don't need the cash (that's lovely though) but food bank charities are getting really hit hard with all this panic buying. Please consider giving whatever you'd have given me to a foodbank charity instead:
UK: https://www.trusselltrust.org/
France: https://www.banquealimentaire.org/
Germany: https://www.tafel.de/
Netherlands: https://www.voedselbankennederland.nl/steun-ons/steun-voedselbank-donatie/
Spain: https://www.fesbal.org/
Australia: https://www.foodbank.org.au/
Canada: https://www.foodbankscanada.ca/
USA: https://www.feedingamerica.org/
Thanks in advance for any donations you give. If there's foodbank charities in your country and it's not listed above, please suggest it and I will include it going forward.
​
EDIT: Missed out virus news in brief, added as of 12:45. EDIT 2: Added in the Dutch foodbank link (hat tip siliconfrontier)